Special thanks to Lamini25 and Krazykay23 for your reviews. I wanted to send you PMs but the review responses don't seem to be working at the moment!
It was finally happening!
Sam had expected Mercedes to break down after her father turned away but she didn't. The stricken expression remained on her face as she mouthed the words 'I love you too' to his retreating form. Then she closed her eyes for a few seconds, remaining completely still before slowly exhaling, straightening her spine, lifting her head and leading the way. He didn't doubt she was going to break down at some point, but her pride meant it was unlikely she would ever do it in front of him.
They retraced the steps that he vaguely remembered them making the night he was wounded, before hitting the wall and passing through to the Outside with the grass and the trees.
"Are you okay Mercedes?"
She'd said nothing from the moment they had stepped away from her house. "We need to cover as much distance as possible Sam." Her eyes remained straight ahead as the rising sun started to illuminate their route. It was still bitterly cold until the sun fully rose and he watched her breath condense as she spoke and he zipped his fleece right up to his chin.
"So let's do this!"
He watched as she pulled out her compass, waited for everything on it to stop moving, then pointed in the direction they needed to walk. Her explanation of how the compass used the earth's magnetic force to point the right direction confused him slightly, but he was more than confident that she knew what she was doing. They walked for hours in silence. The trees became thinner and the area became grassier. They stopped for a snack and a drink then continued. The whole time, in complete silence.
Finally it got too much for him. "You know they'll be okay, don't you."
"I know."
"Daniel and his family will move in with your dad and it'll be the distraction he needs, especially with their second baby on the way."
"I said I know!" She adjusted the strap of her backpack on her shoulder and continued walking, leaving him to stare at her ass as she walked on ahead. Finally stopping she turned, shooting him a frustrated look. "Are you coming?"
"Are you going to ignore me for this entire journey? Because I didn't sign up for the permanent cold shoulder when I agreed to this!" He hadn't meant to sound so harsh in his tone but he still wasn't really used to dealing with people, especially girls, on the one to one in situations like this, and his frustration at not being able to help and comfort her was starting to show.
She sighed. "I'm sorry Sam. I'm just still adjusting to the fact that I've just made a life changing decision that I can never go back on." She stopped walking and stared at the ground. "This is real. This is actually happening. I've burned my bridges so even if I wanted to I can't ever go back!"
He laughed bitterly. "Welcome to my world. You know there's only one thing you can do when you're in this position." Taking her arm, he gently guided her to start walking again. "You just have to keep moving forward 'til you get to where you're going. And that's exactly what we're doing."
"Yeah. I guess we are."
They walked for a few moments before Sam realized his arm was still linked with hers and he awkwardly removed it. "Why don't you sing?"
"Sing?"
"Yeah. When you hum and sing it helps me feel better. I can't believe it doesn't make you feel better too. Maybe you can teach me one of your songs."
"Teach you?"
"Yeah. I'm not a bad singer you know!"
For the first time that day she cracked a smile. "Really?"
"Yeah. Really!"
"So sing something."
He did. And her jaw dropped. "Wow! You can sing!"
"That's what I just said! So teach me something?"
She looked up at him as if he was full of surprises and he felt good, like he'd managed to break through some sort of a wall with her and distract her from her pain. "Okay. I'll teach you something."
He walked closer to her and listened as she effortlessly belted out a melody and literally felt her mood lighten as she did so. They walked and walked and walked. He was hungry but didn't dare mention it. He knew they needed to travel as far as they could today and that any stoppages would lessen the distance they would cover. Eventually though, the sun of the day did start to fade. "We're going to have to find somewhere to set up camp."
She nodded. As it grew darker the temperature rapidly dropped and he could tell she was getting cold. In just a day the landscape had already started changing. The next large tree they came across was where they decided to stop for the night. The pop up tent took seconds to assemble and within minutes they were sitting, watching the water heat on the tiny camping stove.
"I still can't believe we're doing this," she said quietly, not taking her eyes off the water which was now starting to form tiny bubbles at the bottom of the pan. "It's nearly curfew. Dad will be just about to raise the alarm."
Sam said nothing, willing the water to boil faster so that he could have something to do with his hands again. "He'll be fine."
"I know. But it still hurts. It's not a life I could have lived forever but it's still all I've ever known."
She watched as Sam took their compressible mugs and bowls from his bag before placing a small cube in each bowl. "I thought as this was our first night we'd go with milk chocolate porridge to eat and white chocolate to drink."
She nodded, not looking as if she'd disagree with him on anything right now. They ate in silence, grateful for the warm food in their bellies as the night chill started to kick in. Sam finished his quickly. "This food is surprisingly good!" It was a marvel. He'd been so hungry before but now he wasn't. Mercedes still had plenty left though. She seemed distracted and that worried him. "You need to keep your energy up Mercedes."
"I know. But I'm not hungry. My stomach's in knots right now. You finish this, I've still got my drink to go."
Satisfied that she'd eaten enough for now and was going to get more energy from the drink he finished her portion and cleaned the bowl. "I was thinking. As it's nearly dark and getting colder by the second, we should have our drinks in the tent."
She nodded. "Good idea." Looking up at the sky and standing, she grabbed her bag. "I just going to… er… to do my thing. Before it gets completely dark."
"Sure. Just stay within yelling distance."
"Of course."
The second she disappeared from sight he felt alone and busied himself with setting up for the night. The tent wasn't very big. Barely enough room for the both of them with a small strip of space in between them, and only tall enough for them to sit up, not stand. He rolled out their sleeping mats, sleeping bags and inflatable pillows were a luxury they couldn't carry so it had to be folded up clothing. They had three wind-up flashlights, one of which stood upright on its own, and he put it in the center of the tent to light it. When Mercedes returned he handed her a drink and excused himself to handle his own business. By the time he got back she was zipped inside her sleeping bag with a hat on her head and her back to him.
"Do you mind if I turn out the light?"
"Sure. I'm tired."
"Okay. Goodnight Mercedes."
"Goodnight Sam."
And then he plunged them into darkness.
It was cold. Really cold. He couldn't sleep and judging by the lack of the sound of her regular heavy breathing next to him, neither could she. He contemplated grabbing an extra piece of clothing from his bag but that involved moving, and he was too cold for that.
"Was your home Sector very far away?"
Her voice cut through the darkness and she was whispering, even though technically there was no longer any need for them to have to be quiet.
Her question made sense. Days before she'd explained that the Sectors weren't numbered in sequential order and nobody really know if the numbers were randomly selected. He shifted slightly so that he was facing towards her voice. The cold was biting and the tip of his nose was suffering but he was eager to make the most of the break in the silence. "It took over two days to drive. I'd been living in Transit Sector for a week when I arrived."
"So did you come there specifically to- no, sorry, I won't ask... So you can drive."
"Yeah. A car would have made this journey a hell of a lot easier."
"Except neither of us can risk the Transit Highway. Plus I planned this trip to happen by foot. Why did you do that? Can't you drive at all?"
"Girls don't learn to drive in my Sector. Or rather, girls aren't taught... It's a skill which won't really help us out here anyway."
"I guess not. But if you'd had the choice would you have learned?"
"Of course."
"Girls in my Sector can drive. They're actually considered safer drivers. They can train to be doctors too."
"Sounds idyllic."
"It's not. They face other pressures, to look a certain way, act a certain way, and everyone wants to be popular. It gets quite vicious sometimes and they can be really cruel to each other. Genuine friendship and loyalty are rare. It's all about appearances. Plus there's a lot of loveless marriages. People get married for the wrong reasons and realise too late that they'll never be happy. I'm sure that can't be easy."
"I'm sure it isn't. My parents married for love and I can't imagine it any other way."
"I don't think there is any other way. Not if you want to be truly happy."
There was silence for a long while. "Did you leave anyone behind Sam?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, well, I got to say my goodbyes, sort of, but you were already far away from home and had to run in literally the clothes you were standing in. You've never talked about anybody other than Zeben. Was there someone you wished you could've said goodbye to?"
Sam thought through all the people in his life. He didn't have close friends, he was a loner and always had been. When you don't fit in you become good at making yourself invisible. Even when it came to women there was nobody special. Sure were those who'd fulfilled a need, but it was only on a physical level, not an emotional one. At one stage he'd become embroiled in a clandestine affair with the wife of one of Zeben's associates who was too rich, too thin and too bored with the world around her. He knew she only wanted him for the thrill of taking risks under her husband's nose and what man would turn down the attentions of a woman in her sexual prime who was being neglected by her husband. The brief affair had ended when her husband had caught her in bed with another young man. Sam had been relieved that he wasn't the one caught but to this day wondered just how many young men the woman had actually been seeing and how she'd gotten away with it for so long! It was a sad state of affairs when at his age, a six week fling had been his longest relationship.
In truth, Zeben was the only person who'd been consistent in his life. And Zeben had clearly ordered his erasure the moment he had failed to kill Mercedes! There was no payment for the job done. No second chance. Zeben, the man he'd been closest to, had signed his death warrant without a moment's hesitation. There was no going back for Alex.
His silence seemed to disturb her. "I'm guessing that if you have to think about it that long, then the answer is no."
He shuffled slightly in his sleeping bag. Only slightly because too much movement ran the risk of touching a cold part of the bag and that was really wasn't fun. Plus for the second time today there was a prickling sensation at the back of his eyes that he really wasn't happy with. There was a reason why he didn't think about these things.
"I'm sorry." Her voice was soft but it still pierced the dark night. "I can't begin to imagine what it's like to have no one."
"Don't be sorry. I've managed all this time."
Another pause. "You know you have me now, right?"
Did he? "Of course."
"I'm glad."
"So am I. It's good to know."
And it was. Good, that is. A heavy silence fell after that, neither of them asleep yet neither of them speaking. It was too cold to move within their little cocoons and they waited impatiently for the next day to break.
Happy New Year everyone x x