CHAPTER 40

TRIS POV

We are walking hand in hand towards the dining hall for breakfast. I can't wipe the grin off my face. I never thought that I could be feeling the way I do right now. I know I have my fear landscape today but it is the furthest thing from my mind. I never knew that I could feel this way. I never thought I would feel this way.

Growing up in Abnegation I never thought that I would feel like this. I know if I had stayed in Abnegation that I would have married, probably not for love but out of the necessity of breeding the next generation. I knew as a wife I would be obligated to perform certain acts with my husband. I never knew that I would be able to have just as much enjoyment as we were told a man would have.

We reach the dining hall and go and sit with our friends. I know I should try to curb the smile that is permanently plastered on my face but I can't. Christina is sitting across from me and she is staring intently at me. I start to put my fork that is covered in eggs to my mouth when Christina shrieks, " Oh my God you didn't?"

Everyone has turned and is looking at Christina. I can feel the hot blush move over my face and down my neck. "What?" says Uriah, clueless to what is going on.

"You did, I can see it written all over your face. You're glowing," she says.

"Christina," I say as forcefully as I can. I don't want any more attention drawn towards me than already is.

"Tris," she almost yells.

I pick up my fork and throw my eggs at her. "Shut it," I say. I am trying not to laugh as much as I don't need all of Dauntless knowing about Tobias and I, I still have a little bit of Abnegation in me and this to me is something really private.

My eggs have landed on Christina's face and she has retaliated by throwing some of her eggs back at me. Unfortunately with egg in her eyes she has missed me and hit Uriah. "Hey," Uriah says. Who then starts to throw from his plate in the direction of Christina.

It doesn't take long before we are all throwing food at one another. It is really funny and I am trying not to laugh when Uriah smacks my face with a piece of buttered toast. I go to fling it back at him but it misses and flies across to the table behind us. Uriah, Zeke and Christina are almost crying from laughing when all of a sudden food starts flying from the other table over to ours. We turn our attention from hitting each other with food to the people at the table behind us.

Now food is going every which way and hitting people at even more tables. It is not long before the whole of the dining hall is in one massive food fight. I have butter all over my face. I have egg through my hair; my clothes are covered in every breakfast food imaginable. I turn and look at Tobias and he is laughing so hard, he is covered in food as well.

The dining hall is a complete mess and so is everyone in here. It has been a great way to break the tension before we go into our fear landscapes later today. The door to the dining hall opens and Max and Shane have walked in. Everyone has stopped throwing food and look at the two leaders. If we are going to get into trouble this would be the time.

Max looks around the room and stops when he sees our table. He says, "I should have known. Get this mess cleaned up before you leave." Max and Shane then turn and leave the dining hall both with small smiles on their faces. This is what I love most about Dauntless; even our leaders are open to their members having fun. This would have never happened in Abnegation.

I turn to look at Tobias again and he just leans down and kisses me. Christina comes over and pulls us apart and says, "You are going to tell me everything later." I just roll my eyes and move back into Tobias's arms.

"I think we have a lot of cleaning to do," I say.

"Yeah you might be right," Tobias says back and we both just laugh.

By the time we get to the fear landscape room for our final test the whole of Dauntless compound has plunged into insanity and chaos. If I thought our breakfast food fight was crazy, I was wrong it has nothing on how the Dauntless are now. Today is a big day here in Dauntless. Only essential staff work everyone else is given the day off and most were drunk by lunchtime.

We sit just outside the fear landscape room. Most of the Dauntless-born have finished. Tobias already told me that he won't be sitting with the other leaders to watch. He told me he wanted me to have some privacy and that it is up to me when and if I tell him what my fears are. I know I will tell him anyway but it is a nice gesture. Lauren is going to sit in his place and he will run the computer and inject us with the serum.

I have been sitting for what seems like hours. Slowly I have seen the number of people diminish in the room as they go through their landscape. "Tris," I hear Tobias call my name. I look up and I think finally. I walk over to Tobias and he plunges the needle into my neck and he asks, "Ready?"

I give him a small nod. I know I am ready. "Be brave Tris," he says. I step into the room wishing I knew what order my fears will come in. I know that I am only moments away from finding out. I bounce on the balls of my feet as I wait for the first fear to appear. I feel like I am already short of breath.

FOUR POV

I am so nervous for Tris as she enters the fear landscape room. I have no doubt she will be fine but I remember the feelings that are going through your mind as you are about to start. I can't see what she is facing from here but I can watch her movements, it gives me some indication of what is going on.

I watch as Tris crouches down, running her fingers along something. Then I see her pick up an object. It must be a gun as it looks like she is trying to shoot into the air. She stops and her hands move back towards her side. One fear down but I don't know how many more she will have to face.

Tris is crouching again; she is running her hand up something, maybe a wall. Then she starts slamming her palm against what I think is a wall. Nothing seems to be happening for her and I can see the panic on her face. Calm down Tris I think to myself, willing her to stay calm so she can move forward. She is now leaning against what is probably another wall and she is kicking, she looks to be putting all of her weight behind it. I am wondering if she is afraid of confinement, she appears to have walls all around her. She starts to pound her fists again and I can see a look of concentration on her face. All of a sudden she stops pounding and she is shaking her hands. Another fear down I think.

Now it seems as though she is being thrown around. Her body is being flung around and she looks to be trying to hold onto something. I see her wince and my heart is in my mouth." Concentrate Tris you can do this," I whisper to myself. She is still being flung around and whatever is doing this to her is causing her pain. A scream comes from her lips. It is taking every ounce of my being not to run in there and help her, just like she helped me in my fear landscape. She throws her hand forward, I can see her arms are shaking but she continues to drag herself forward. She gets up and starts to run.

I see her take a deep breath and I know she is through another fear. That's three. Tris tries to move her arms but they seem stuck, bound by an unknown force. I see her talking but I don't know what she is saying or who it may be too. She is looking a lot calmer in this fear. She speaks again and then a smile comes across her face. Another fear has been completed.

It looks like she has stepped into another fear. There is a look of confusion on her face. Maybe it is a fear she hasn't faced before, I'm not sure but that is the feeling I get. I see her body go rigid she blinks and then her body whips around. It is like there is more than one person there with her. She is staring intently at someone and her hand is moving while she keeps staring at whoever is there with her. I think she has picked up a gun again and she screams. She crouches down and I can see she is thinking. She sits on the floor for a moment and then she is fumbling to push something aside, maybe a door I'm not sure. Now she is smiling, this is a good sign, she crawls along and then I see her take a deep breath. She is doing so well I am so proud of her.

She is standing again and looks to be holding something in her fingers. She curls her fingers around what I would imagine to be a gun with her index finger on the trigger, maybe? By the look on her face I think that she may be looking at her worst fear. She is shaking her head and I hear her say, "No." She is looking between what I think is four or five people. She shouts,"Shut up!" Her heart rate is starting to go up by what I can see on the computer. Come on Tris, I am willing her to calm herself. She closes her eyes and that same look she had before comes across her face. She is thinking. I feel like I can almost hear the cogs in her brain working overtime. I can feel my heart rate starting to rise, come on Tris I keep saying to myself, willing her to get through this. She releases her index finger from its position and her hand drops to her side. Then all of a sudden she lifts her arm back up and it looks like she has a gun, if that what it is pointed towards her forehead. I almost feel like I am in my own fear landscape as I am watching her. I see her finger move and then the lights come on. I let out a breath. Thank god that is over. I almost wish I had been in with the other leaders to watch that, it couldn't' have been any harder to watch than it was from here and I would have seen exactly what she was seeing.

I open the door and walk into the room. I am followed in by dad and the other leaders and Lauren. "Congratulations, Tris," dad says with a smile. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

"Thanks," she says.

I grab her hand and start to pull her out of the room. "We have two hours before the banquet and they will announce your ranking," I say.

We continue to walk towards our apartment when I hear, "Tris." Dad is jogging to catch up to us. We stop and wait for him.

"Tris, the other leaders and I would like you to consider a job as leader," dad says. This must mean that she has ranked first. I am feeling really proud of her. "You can think about it, but I will need to know before job choosing tomorrow. Shane is about to retire and he has decided to stay on and train you until he feels you are ready to take over the position. It is a great opportunity and Shane has a wealth of knowledge and experience in the job. So I hope you will consider it carefully."

"Thanks Max, I will," Tris says.

"Well make sure you have some fun at the banquet. I'm sure that won't be hard if you are with my son and his crazy friends," he says as he pats me on the back and walks towards his apartment.

"Come on," I say, dragging her toward our apartment. "We may as well get some rest before tonight; it could get a little wild tonight."