The vehicle was going down the road and Didi was excited as this could be her last time to bond with Tommy and Dil before they would 'outgrow' her. The kids tried to keep themselves occupied during the ride. Tommy was playing with his video camera with Belinda, Phil, Courtney, and Kimi were playing cards, Mike was counting as Lil was bouncing her soccer ball, and Susie was strumming her guitar.
"Lil, are you gonna dribble that ball all the way to New York City?" Phil complained.
"Mm-hmm..." Lil replied as she kept bouncing her ball as Mike counted for her. "I'm going for the world record. All I have to do is keep this ball off the ground and I'll be able to be in Manny Rivera's team."
"Eh, good luck with that..." Mike shrugged. "I hear from Lu that their team's not the best since Manny's dad's the coach."
Phil sighed as he continued to play cards. "I wish we had that RV with the plasma screen and 600 channels and satellite TV."
"Oh, it'll be okay, Philly..." Courtney soothed. "Besides, I think it's nice to live without luxuries for a while."
"Speak for yourself..." Rhonda complained. "This is worse than the time I had to stay at Arnold's house because of Daddy's money troubles."
Chuckie frowned, he felt like he was losing Rhonda.
"Ah, guys, our moms wouldn't have let us watch it anyway," Tommy said. "Remember the Lipschitz rule: 'No electronic devices. No cell phones, computer games, nothing but the long stretches of the open road to numb our minds'."
"Well, sure, if y'all wanna get technical..." Belinda said as she stared out the window. "Besides, we don't have a TV at my house."
"No television?!" Junior asked. "No wonder you didn't know who I was."
"Yeah, 'sides it's probably a good idea..." Belinda said. "Plus I like being around these other moms since I didn't know my own."
Angelica glared as she watched Susie practicing her singing. When Kira came out of the bathroom, she felt better until Susie sang about cheese, so she ran back inside to continue hurling.
"Talk about mind-numbing." Angelica muttered to Susie's song.
Dil sighed as he saw how bored the older kids seemed. "Boy, are you guys sticks in the mud," he then spoke up after a while. "This trip's gonna be epic, you wanna know why? 'Cuz this is the South West, my friend!"
"Here we go..." Rhonda sighed.
"Home of UFO crashes," Dil continued in excitement. "Nuclear Test Sites, proof that alien bodies in government hangars, and well, with my missing socks. We are talking about the freaky capital of the freaky world! And I say..." he then looked out the window. "Look, Bigfoot!"
The others then looked out the window.
"Dil, that's just a hairy guy with his shirt off." Mike said which made Kira run back into the bathroom.
"Your brother's right though, Tommy," Belinda said as she put an arm around the boy she secretly liked. "This trip just started and we all need to get into the pioneer spirit."
"You're right too..." Tommy smiled as he took out a paper. "Look what I found in Reggie's 'Zine."
Kimi took the paper and read it aloud with a smile. "The 100 Most Upchuckiest Rides in America?"
"And we'll be passing at least half of them." Tommy smiled back.
The RV then suddenly came to a stop.
"Okay, everybody," Didi called. "First stop."
"Where are we, Mrs. Pickles?" Courtney asked with a smile.
"Crazy Canyons?" Tommy asked.
"Whiplash Willows?" Chuckie asked.
"Even better," Didi smiled. "Welcome to Clifford, California! The Onion Capital of the West!"
The kids then groaned slightly as they were dragged on an onion tour. The kids were looking bored, but luckily for them, so did most of the moms except for Didi of course as the tour guide was telling them about their large onion.
Lil sniffled as she suddenly had tears in her eyes. "It's the onions, right?"
"No, I'm bored to tears," Mike told her. "I haven't been this bored ever since Old Queeks tried to be the teacher at the island school."
"Don't touch anything, kids." Didi said as she pulled up her purse which accidentally made all of the hundreds of the onions flood out.
They all walked out and sniffled from the garlic fumes. Rhonda looked around the gift shop to find anything worth buying for herself. Phil and Chuckie then looked to see Rhonda looking quite miserable from this trip so far.
"Watch the Finster magic at work." Chuckie told Phil as he decided to go and try to cheer up the girl he really liked, but the feeling didn't seem mutual for a while.
Phil then stood back and watched Chuckie.
Chuckie came up beside Rhonda. "Hey."
"Oh, hi, Chuckie." Rhonda smiled.
"Um... Have you been eating onions?" Chuckie asked.
Rhonda glared before then slapping him across the face.
"Lost her again..." Chuckie sighed as Rhonda then stormed off.
"Okay, everybody, Photo Op!" Lucy called out as she found someone to take their picture on camera.
The tour guide took the camera out.
"Hey, look, guys!" Courtney smiled as she bent down and picked something up. "A flattened lizard!"
Kira then grunted and ran right back into the bathroom as the picture was taken.
Later...
"Welcome to the World's Widest Christmas Tree..." a tour guide in the desert introduced the crowd as he stood by the tree.
A man tried to take their picture only for Kira to yet again run to the bathroom. Dil took off an ornament which made Didi take it and warned him not to touch anything and when she put it back, the tree then became a piney mess.
"Isn't it wonderful how well our girls are getting along?" Lucy smiled to Charlotte.
"I know," Charlotte smiled back in agreement. "Angelica hasn't shown one sign of jealousy since the parade."
Junior and Angelica held each other until the girl then saw Susie going into the bathroom.
"Excuse me, I need to powder my nose~" Angelica told him before going off to the bathroom with a broom.
Junior then nodded and let her go. He then took out a quarter and used the payphone, deciding to call back home, but of course, not to his cousin Kevin and Uncle Dennis and Aunt Rachel.
"Come on, let's go." Susie said to Junior after he got off the phone.
"Where's Angelica?" Junior asked as he walked with her.
"Ah, she'll catch up." Susie hid a smirk as they got back into the RV together.
Even more later...
They were now visiting the World's Biggest Ball of String. Even though Tommy was completely embarrassed by his mother, Belinda actually bonded well with Didi since she never knew her own mother and it was fun for Didi since she didn't have a daughter of her own.
"486... 487... 488..." Mike counted as she came right behind Lil.
Tommy looked up on the way inside the RV as he then saw a man bungee jumping. "Hey, Mom, why can't we go do that?" he then asked with a smile.
"You'd hurt yourself." Didi said while dusting him clean.
"Besides, you can do cheap thrill rides anywhere," Betty added in with a smile. "Where else but Needles Nevada could you have seen the World's Biggest Ball of String?"
Didi had a piece of string stuck to her shoe and the ball seemed to unravel as they were leaving the area.
Later that night...
The kids stayed in a tent while the moms decided to stay and sleep inside the RV.
"It's official, this trip is a bust." Tommy complained.
"Four hours in the Museum of Mayonnaise," Lil groaned as she kicked the soccer ball with her feet while lying down on the ground with Mike next to her. "When do we get to do what we wanna do?"
Phil mumbled as he looked through his backpack.
"What is that?" Rhonda cringed at the disgusting details.
"My collection," Phil replied. "I'm so bored I think I could become a nationalist... Or a chef..." he then took out something that looked like a reptile tail as he then dangled it in her face.
"EWW!" Rhonda groaned. "Get that disgusting thing out of my face!"
"Oh, there's your problem, Chuckie." Phil laughed.
"Oh, Phil, you didn't!" Courtney groaned. "That was so immature, I expected that from Blake!"
"What is it with moms anyway?" Tommy griped. "Why do they have to be all over us all the time?"
"At least your mom's not super critical..." Junior commented.
"Besides, what's with all these photographs?" Chuckie asked.
"And the 'don't touch anythings'." Lil added in drearily.
Belinda turned over to try to get some sleep as the others complained about their mothers.
"I dunno, I kinda like it when Mom wipes my face with a saliva soaked tissue," Dil smiled. "It's like a warm, wet 'I love you'."
Kimi came over with a smile. "I was on my way to the bathrooms and guess who I found digging in the garbage?"
"Hey, Philly was here the whole time!" Courtney replied.
Phil then nodded in agreement. A dog then barked as he came beside Kimi.
"I went to every campsite and no one knew him," Kimi said as she pet the dog. "He must've been abandoned."
"And Mom said you could keep him?" Chuckie asked.
"No way, so I figure, I'll sneak him in..." Kimi shook her head before crawling inside the tent. "Come on in, Pumpkin."
The dog came in and fell asleep next to her.
"Well, one good thing; we're out in the fresh air and not stuck in the Crudinator." Lil commented.
The others agreed as they then decided to get some sleep. Mike then took Lil's soccer ball and put it back in place so she could get back to it first thing in the morning.
"Has anyone seen Angelica?" Junior asked as they were getting some sleep, but no one seemed to care or bother with answering his question. "What about Angelica?"