Chapter 5 : Give Me Time

Yasusada was pacing back and forth in front of the refinery room. Kashuu had collapsed the moment he barged into the room. Never had he thought his partner would do something like that. The door opened and Yasusada sprang on his master.

"How is he? Is he… is he alright?" his eyes were almost pleading. His master patted his head, smiling softly.

"He is alright. I wonder why he did that. Do you know something about it, Yasusada?"

"He has been hurting a lot… He never told me exactly why… probably because I reminded him of Okita so he didn't want to talk to me…"

"I see… You are like his twin; you two are such good partners to each other. In cases like this, you should support each other."

Yasusada nodded, he peeked inside and saw Kashuu sleeping on the futon. "I'll stay by his side until he wakes up."

After getting his master's permission, Yasusada walked inside and closed the door behind him. Sitting on the futon besides him, he stared down at Kashuu's face. He brushed away the bangs which covered his eyes. His fingers lightly touched the bandage wrapped firmly around his left wrist.

"Why can't I make you smile? You used to laugh so much in front of Okita… Am I not good enough to replace him in your heart?" Yasusada wondered sorrowfully and leaned down to kiss his temple. His thumb brushed against his now smooth cheek.

"I'm no longer beautiful... it's no use to try to polish me…" Kashuu whispered, opening his eyes to frown at Yasusada. The guy was squeezing his hand tightly.

"Kiyomitsu, don't say that…" Yasusada shook his head and brought his hand up to his lips, giving it a butterfly kiss.

"I'm just saying the truth." Kashuu shrugged and sat up, glaring at him. "How long are you going to hold my hand? Let go."

Yasusada held on to his hand tighter. "No."

"Yasusada, stop being childish…" Kashuu groaned while trying to pull his hand away.

"I love you."

"No," Kashuu shook his head. His fingers unconsciously wrapping around Yasusada's grip.

"I'm serious." Yasusada stared right into Kashuu's eyes, so deep that Kashuu slightly moved backwards.

"No, you are just confused."

His partner looked at him aghast. "I'm not! Can't you take a look at your surroundings for once? There is someone who loves you and yet your attention is towards someone you can't even reach anymore."

"Shut up! You can't love me! I'm… I'm not worth it." His eyes glistened with tears.

Yasusada sucked on his breath at the sight. "Why do you think like that?" The guy reached for his face, stopping when Kashuu drew back. The brunette shook his head.

"You are just saying that. You will find that I'm no longer attractive the more you get closer to me. Just like that guy…"

"Please don't say that."

"Stop it! Stop pretending!" Kashuu jerked his hand away violently.

Yasusada grabbed him on his shoulders, forcefully hugging him. His partner struggled, trying to push him away.

"Why are you even here anyway? Why did you help me out? Why don't you let me disappear," he shouted angrily, quickly wiping away the fallen tears on his left cheek.

"Why can't you understand? Is it because I look so much like him?"

Kashuu covered his ears, violently shaking his head." Stop saying that already! You are just the same like everyone! You will throw me away! It's only a matter of time when this new master will abandon me too."

"If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you!" Yasusada pulled away. He picked up his sword and pulled the ribbon that kept his long hair tied up. As soon as his hair was down, he gathered it together again.

Kashuu stared at him in shock. "Wait, Yasusada-!" The image of Yasusada about to commit seppuku vanished as soon as his partner cut off his hair with his sword.

"Now I no longer resemble him…" Yasusada murmured after putting his sword in front of his knees.

Kashuu opened his mouth before closing it again. He was extremely confused about the flow of their conversation. His hair was much shorter now, reaching only to his shoulders. He eyed the hair sprawled on the tatami messily. Kashuu frowned.

"Why did you do that…" The person in front of him looked rather childish with his shorter hair.

"I don't want you to look at me as if you saw Okita-san. I want you to look at me, Kiyo. Not him. I'm Yamato no kami Yasusada! Your partner and twin. Our swords are like a mirror to each other, there is no one else but you as my partner. We are one of Okita's favorites swords, we love him dearly. But my feelings from thousands years ago never change. To me you are everything, Kiyomitsu." Yasusada pulled him into his arms, embracing him tightly. "Please don't hurt yourself like that anymore. It was like I'm seeing my other soul slowly slipping away. We did not forge to be alone, we were meant to be together."

Kashuu's sobs made Yasusada caress his back. The time Yasusada kissed his temple, Kashuu softly pushed him away. He shook his head.

"Give me time…" Kashuu said at the searching look on Yasusada's face. He was glad his partner didn't press the subject further. A nod of reply made him sigh in relief. He couldn't possibly return his feelings just like that, right?

"Just don't hurt yourself anymore." Yasusada said, caressing Kashuu's bandaged wrist.

"Your hair…"

"Ahh… leave it. I will tidy the mess myself." He said, rubbing the back of his head, chuckling softly.

"Let me…" Kashuu raised his hand to touch the tip of his hair.

Yasusada blinked at Kashuu.

"There! Nicely done," Kashuu said after tying a white ribbon on Yasusada's hair. Yasusada looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was pulled in a shorter ponytail now.

"Do I still…"

"Resemble him? Yeah, but in a different way now," Kashuu smiled at him. He ran his fingers through his hair. "It's nicer like this though…" he murmured. Yasusada pulled him closer to bury his face in Kashuu's chest.

"Thank you, for giving my hair a proper trim and for tidying it up." His voice was muffled against Kashuu's chest. The guy blushed brightly and tried to push him off.

"Stop it, it tickles!" he protested, while looking away, embarrassed.

"Sorry…" He scratched the back of his head.

Kashuu stared at him.

Even though he said he needed time, his dreams were still full of Okita. That didn't subdue his suffering of being thrown away, replaying almost every night. This time though, he didn't push Yasusada away when the guy tried to comfort him.

Yasusada took his hand and wrapped his fingers around it. They stared at each other for a long moment before Kashuu tore his gaze away. He pulled his fingers away, feeling warm on his cheeks.

"Sorry." Kashuu whispered softly. He pulled the blanket higher, almost covering his eyes, shyly looked down to the futon.

"It's okay." Yasusada replied shortly, rubbing the blanket, caressing his partner. He pulled him closer into his arms, muttering sweet nothings. They stayed like that over night until dawn.

The sun intensely glared down to earth; enough to make Yasusada's body glisten by sweat. He was practicing, his torso showing and his lower half of his upper yukata was tide down below his waist, dangling as he moved about. The heat became unbearable. Kashuu had gone out to train the new tantous. Yasusada could already imagine all the moaning and grunting he usually did every time they went to battle.

Yasusada walked towards the porch, sitting down, staring off into space. A shadow loomed over him, so looked up to see Kanesada staring down at him with a playful smirk.

"Finished training?"

"Yea… it's very hot today, I can barely keep up. Is the air conditioning repaired yet?" He took the bamboo fan from Kanesada.

"Sadly, no… Master said he will fix it as soon as possible but… looks like the repairman was unable to come today."

"Darn it…" Yasusada sighed.

"We are… spoiled aren't we? In our era, there is no such thing as air conditioning. Only bamboo fans." Kanesada chuckled, taking one of the dango sticks from the plate Horikawa had prepared for them.

"You are right." Yasusada agreed for once.

Horikawa walked in, he brought a tray of cold lemonade water jug. He returned their happy face upon seeing the fresh infused water with a smile.

"Here, drink to gain some energy. This heat is unbearable." The young Wakizahi put the tray on the porch, sitting down beside Yasusada. Kanesada quickly picked the jug of water and poured himself a glass of lemonade.

"Be careful not to wet the tatami or Master will be mad again." Horikawa watched in concern with the way Kanesada handled the jug. Yasusada took the jug away from him as soon as Kanesada had filled up his glass.

"Don't worry too much, Kunihiro." Kanesada said and guzzled his lemonade. He let out a sigh of satisfaction, asking for another from Yasusada. Yasusada shook his head with a smile and filled his glass.

"Thank you, it's refreshing. Kashuu will be thrilled with this water." Yasusada put his glass down. He wore back his yukata properly and circled his scarf around his neck.

"Oh right, he went out today. I bet he will be complaining all the way with this scorching heat." Kanesada snickered.

"Talking about him… how is he? I heard what happened from Master." Kunihiro asked after putting his glass away. Yasusada rubbed his glass, looking down at the clear substance.

"His body will probably leave scars, just like humans do." Yasusada sighed. "I tried to convince him in every way… even cutting my hair in the process. I don't even know that resemblance to Okita bothered him so much. Even I can't forget the man who had raised us in the past. If only Kashuu knows what it was like to stay by Okita's side without unable to do anything before his death…" His face turned gloomy.

Kunihiro smiled nervously. "But your hair looks nicer like this."

Kanesada laughed. "Everyone was so shocked when they saw your hair yesterday. You caused riots this morning."

"Ah, I'm sorry about that." Yasusada chuckled, rubbing his cheek with his forefinger shyly.

The gate opened right after Yasusada finished talking. The tantous were mumbling with exhaustion. They followed Kashuu's lead inside the gate, some of them mumbling about the craving for sweet juice and watermelons. Kashuu patted their heads as he held open the gate for them to enter.

"Phew, the sun sure harsh today." Kashuu muttered, adjusting the scarf around his neck. He heard Ichigo's voice from afar. Happiness fell across the tantou's face when they saw their brother. Ichigo hug all of them as soon as they cling to him. Kashuu chuckled.

Horikawa called for them with plates full of watermelons. The kids happily ran to him, not wanting to miss a slice of watermelon.

"Good job, good job." Kanesada patted Kanesada lv.5 among the tantous. He was staring at the lemonade water from the side lines. Horikawa noticed, gave him his glass, nodding at the small Kane to take it.

"Thanks!" Small Kanesada immediately emptied the glass in less than a minute.

"Here, have some watermelon." Kanesada grinned at his small self. Horikawa rubbed his head when the kid took a bite of his watermelon.

Yasusada stared from the side line; he pouted and looked at Kashuu who was busy adjusting his scarf.

"Kiyo, do you want lemonade water?" Yasusada called him, showing the glass in his hold. Kashuu saw and walked to him hastily. He slumped down beside Yasusada and picked the watermelon.

"So hot, it's annoying. I'm sticky with sweat. Disgusting. I will take a bath." He stood up after finishing his watermelon. Their eyes met for a second and Yasusada blushed at the view of Kashuu's sweating and flushed face because of the heat.

"Yasusada!"

Yasusada jolted by the time Kashuu's face merely an inch before him.

"Y-Yes!"

"Are you going to give me the glass or are you going to stare without sharing anything?"

"Aah yes, sorry!" Yasusada pressed the glass to Kashuu's hand. His partner clicked his tongue before he drained the water. Kashuu gave the glass back to him and walked inside with a wave.

"Did something happen between the two of you? He was rather snappy…"

"Nothing…" Yasusada muttered, pretending to pick some watermelon, avoiding eye-contact.

"It's pretty amazing that he didn't even let his scarf loose in this kind of heat. Appearance is everything to him, huh?" Kanesada snorted and lay sprawled on the tatami.

"Kane-san, don't sleep here!" Horikawa protested.

"Then give me your lap to sleep on." He chuckled when he saw the guy's red face.

Yasusada sighed. "Not in front of the small tantou's, you two…"

It's best to leave them alone. In front of Yasusada, Ichigo tried to avert the tantou's attention back to him.

"I'm going to check Kashuu if he got some injuries…" Yasusada stood up and waved at them. His mind went back to the night right after Kashuu's asleep.

Yasusada stared at the sleeping Kashuu. He was relieved that somehow the guy managed to sleep soundly. If he could meet Okita later during their next march on the map, he will scold him for sure. Okita never explained the reason of his action. It was already too late by the time Yasusada realized that Kashuu had broken. Not even a single blacksmith able to refine Kashuu. He could understand that Okita had no other choice rather than keeping Kashuu without being any use. Only his reason for putting him beside the river bank is…

Yasusada watched when Kashuu move to lay on his back. He saw Kashuu's neck where he left a mark in a few nights ago. It had disappeared along with his refinement process. He softly touched his neck.

'He is… asleep, right…'

Yasusada slowly leaned down to his collarbone kissed it softly. His let out a shaky breath as soon as he bites him softly.

A sudden blow on his head made him squeaked.

"YASUSADA! What in the-" He cursed out when he found a mark on his collarbone.

"Y-you are awake!"

"If you continue to attack me like this, I want you to change room!" Kashuu shouted, cupping his collarbone, blushing furiously.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again!"

"Like hell you won't! Didn't I tell you to wait?!" Kashuu grumbled. He grabbed his pillow and stood up.

"Wait, where are you going?!" Yasusada went pale.

"I will move to another room."

"No, wait, I'm sorry!" He wrapped his arms around his waist, stopping him from going anywhere.

"Let go of me!" Kashuu shouted.

Yasusada cupped his mouth. "Damn my libido… It's your fault for being so sexy even when you sleep, Kiyo." He cursed under his breath.

TBC

/hit Yasusada on the head

Control yourself a little!