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2

It was quiet at the dining table today. No-one said much and I could feel the awkwardness that hung in the air clearly. I picked at my food with my fork and slowly and hesitantly ate it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Max and Ray exchange a long glance before Tyson coughed. I looked up reflexively, not actually wanting to do so.

"What?" I asked, noticing Tyson looking at me, his fork half-way to his mouth. I heard the deliberately slow dragging of a chair on the wooden floor as Ray straightened.

"It's okay."He said, before looking down at his plate. "Apology accepted."

"Oh." Was my great reply. Had someone convinced him to do so or was he just feeling pitiful towards me? I glanced at him one last time before deciding that he might just be feeling guilty or something.

I tensed as the cell in my back pocket began to vibrate. I stood up hurriedly, somehow knowing exactly who it was. The chair made a loud sound as it was dragged along the Dojo floor and every one of my friends turned to look in my direction, concern clear in their eyes.

I took out the cell before turning my back on them, not even replying with a small look of reassurance to convince them I was alright. How very blasé.

Sighing, I put the phone to my ear as soon as I was out of earshot.

"My house, tonight." A voice that was both calm and firm, said.

Could I ever take into consideration the fact that he was just any other boy, just like anyone else? But then when would I ever get over how deadly his voice was to me? How much hatred boiled inside me the moment I heard it? How much just a tiny whisper of his voice could anger me?

"No." I replied rigidly before hanging up. I hurriedly switched off the cell before he started texting and shoved it back in my back pocket before going inside again.

"Do you think it's gonna be okay?"

"I'm positive."

Tyson sighed, handing over his scratched Beyblade to Kenny, who started fixing it almost immediately. I looked over at Kenny's hand to take a look at Dragoon. It was damaged but nothing that Kenny couldn't repair.

I fidgeted nervously with my hands as Tyson came over to sit beside me. He turned to look at me and was about to say something when we heard Max shout from inside.

"WHAT?" Tyson yelled back and I recoiled in reaction to the sound. Gosh, he was loud.

"Tell Hillary that someone's on the phone." Max's voice sounded near now; louder and clearer.

I looked up and saw Max at the window, holding the phone in his hand. I stood up and walked inside, wondering idly who it could be. Maybe Mom, trying to apologize.

When I entered the living room, I saw Kai leaning against the wall beside the door, looking at me expectantly. I ignored him, something I always did.

"Who is it?" I asked Max, my voice sounding small even to me.

"He won't tell me his name." Max replied, holding the phone out to me. He, not her. Male…Besides the guys, I had no male acquaintances.

Max looked at me concerned when I hesitated. "You don't wanna talk?"

I shook my head blatantly. "Tell him to stop calling here."

Max looked at me disbelievingly, so did Kai, but he did what he was told.

"I'm sorry, who'd you wanted to talk to again?" He asked before smiling, "Oh, I thought you said Stephanie! No, there's no Hillary in this house."

He was quiet, listening to the other side before he said, "You might have the wrong number. Try calling the neighbors."

I shifted my weight from one leg to the other as Max hung up and turned around.

"Tell me why I lied, Hillary." He asked, looking at me expectantly, his hand still on the phone.

I said nothing. Surely, he wasn't expecting me to tell him anything, was he?

"I didn't want to talk." I lied plainly, looking away. Max heaved a sigh of defeat and walked out of the room, saying nothing. Gosh, now I felt all the more guilty. Max didn't even bother insisting on telling him, he just knew I would disagree. I guess they were tired of trying, not that I object or anything. It was sort of unusual.

I was aware of Kai staring at me but I ignored him again. I sat down on the couch, resting my hands on my knees and letting my hair hide my face as I bent forwards. Kai would go away soon.

It was quiet and I was sure that Kai would've left by then so it surprised me when his voice suddenly sounded, snapping me out of my trance.

"It's doesn't hurt to tell the truth once in a while." His voice was near…too near. I looked up to see him standing right in front of me, his eyes staring down into mine with some emotion I couldn't point out. "They're concerned."

I was surprised; he never really spoke to me much. What, he was gonna offer some advice now?

I said nothing. I don't know what he took my silence for but he sat down beside me on the couch and looked at me directly.

"Tell me why you won't tell us." Kai said. I could tell he had carefully voiced the question.

"Why should I?" I challenged, afraid of looking in his direction.

"Why should you not?" He snapped back, disarming me. I thought to myself for a while before saying, "You won't understand."

"Do you think I'm a dimwit?"

"No." I replied, but said nothing else. I heard him sigh as he leaned back against the couch.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked. I finally looked up at him. "Nothing you would know of."

"Are you afraid we'll laugh at you?" He tried again, ignoring my comment.

I shook my head and shrugged inanimately.

"What is it then?" His soft tone surprised me. I had never heard that edge in his voice. It was difficult to imagine that he had any what with all the time I heard him say anything was either a strict order or a snappy 'Shut the hell up'.

"N-nothing." I stuttered, still surprised. He sat back upright and looked at me with intensity, his purple eyes squinting. I looked away before saying, "I see no reason to tell anything to anyone, Kai. You can't force me to."

Everything was quiet. I didn't look up to see his expression but I guessed he was probably either irritated or angry.

"I didn't say you had to tell me." He said softly. I looked up in shock. No anger or irritation showed off on his face. He looked sort of offended. "I wanted to know why you won't tell us anything."

"I'm s–"

"Don't lie to yourself." He cut me off, ignoring me completely. "Don't think we can't or won't help you. I don't want you to someday realize that we could've been of assistance and it's too late."

He left me speechless again. I bent my head back down again, looking away from his pleading gaze.

"Tell me you need help."

I breathed loudly, tears threatened to fall and I bit my lips to stop them. He was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I DID need help. But not particularly theirs. Not his.

"I do." My voice quivered but I controlled it. "But not yours. You guys can't help me."

"You haven't given us a chance to try, Hillary." His voice was still pleading, insisting. Why?

"I just know you can't." I argued stubbornly. Taking in a deep breath, I tried to control myself. I didn't want to be mad at him, but I couldn't help it. Why was he trying to make me tell him my problems so desperately?

"We can't? Or you won't let us?" Kai asked, making my mind linger on the words. How childish. He still thought I was just not gonna tell them because I didn't want to rather than the fact that I didn't need to.

"You can't." I replied softly. Partly because I felt my voice breaking again and partly because I didn't want him to hear the anger in my voice."Now, leave me alone."

Of all the rude comments I had said, I could see this last one affected him the most. I looked up to see his eyes squinted in discomfort and…anger? I guess I wasn't the only one with anger management issues.

"You don't mean that." He said, trying to control his anger. It usually seemed to come to him naturally, controlling his anger, I mean. But this time, I could tell he was struggling.

"I don't wanna be intrigued into telling you what I don't want to." I said calmly. My sentence was followed by a very uncomfy silence as Kai hesitated.

"You think I'm gonna intrigue you?" He asked, after a few seconds of hesitation, not bothering to hide the fact that I had offended him.

"That's not what I meant." I said in defense. "I don't wanna end up saying something I'll regret."

"Is that the answer to my very first question?" He raised his eye brow in skepticism and his voice rose with every word. "The reason as to why you don't wanna tell us anything? You think you'll regret telling us the truth?"

Gosh, why did he turn my words around like that? Tyson's gonna have to stop watching those police serials on TV, people were getting infected around here.

"I'll regret telling anyone the truth." I said, emphasizing the word anyone and ignoring his first two questions. "And I didn't mean to tell you to leave me alone, I meant for you to know that this subject is very uncomfortable for me to talk about."

There. A very formal and literal answer.

"If it's really a bother for you that we wanna help, Hillary, then we'll just let you be."

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at how angry his voice sounded. Although that was exactly what I wanted to hear, it actually hurt. I wondered why. His angry stare burned into me as he waited for a comeback that didn't come. I noticed how his gaze softened and in a voice that sounded strange, he said pleadingly, "Tell me."

Man, I wanted to. Believe me, I SO wanted to. And for a moment, I had opened my mouth to say everything that was bothering me but shut it back again. I wanted him to know what I was going through, I wanted him to know how I was feeling, I wanted him to know that I desperately needed help butI knew I couldn't just come right up and tell him everything. Yeah sure, he was my friend and for once, just once, I wanted to discuss my problems with him just like a normal person but I couldn't. I was feeling depressed. I had problems, but then again, who doesn't? Insecurity and confusion were never my best subjects but I had been facing them a lot lately. If there was any justice in the world, it was only fair that I get a savior. Was it too wrong to wish for someone who'd break through the walls I had built? Someone who would not only understand my problems but would try to solve them too? But I was known for being independent and I wasn't just gonna throw that reputation away. I AM independent, I corrected myself, just messed up right now. Like I had said, I was never someone who would speak openly about her problems. I wasn't good at expressing my feelings. That was the reason why I never really spoke to Kai but we still got along. I guess I understood how it felt to not want to talk about anything and I respected that.

Yeah, guys I have a stalker who calls and texts regularly to ask me out and threatens to hurt my only parent- whom I love even though she calls me names and I yell at her- if I don't, he's so annoying, help me out. That was NOT something I was likely to say.

"I can't." I said stiffly, for once telling the truth. "Just, please, drop it."

I tore my gaze from his and got up from my seat…but he grabbed my wrist, spinning me around and pushing me back on the couch again. He was so close that his breath was practically tickling my skin. I didn't look up at him. Instead, I looked down at his torso as he said something, his voice calm and hard.

"Suit yourself."

The sudden, rude reply made me look up at him but I couldn't tell what he was feeling. His amethyst eyes bore into mine with such intensity that I couldn't turn away. I gasped lightly, just loud enough for me to hear, as he inched a little closer.

Then suddenly, as if he had touched something very hot, he stood up and walked away, leaving me staring at his back as he did.