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4

I ran along the familiar pathway towards my home, passing the shops and pushing and squeezing through the crowd. The rain hit my body like millions of piercing needle stings, wetting my clothes and my hair as it did. It wasn't long that I could feel the cold water enter my sneakers as I stepped on the big puddles while running.

When I reached the dojo, I was completely soaked from head to toe. Not a single hair on my body was dry but I could've cared less. It wasn't as if I'd expected myself to come here all dry.

Tyson was standing on the porch, whispering something to Kai when I entered. He took in my appearance before turning back towards Kai who was suddenly looking at me, right in the eye. I wondered if they were talking about me, cuz both of them were quiet now. I ignored them and looked behind me before continuing to walk.

"Hillary, where were you?" Tyson said once I reached the porch. He threw a dry towel, which hung over his shoulder, at me and I caught it rather reflexively. "I was worried."

"Sorry about that." I replied unenthusiastically, shrugging. I sat down beside Kai—who sat leaning against one of the pillars—and took off my sneaker. "I tried to call but there were no signals."

I took out my cell and placed it beside me. It was too, like most of my things right now, soaked to the last cell. I saw Kai looking at me but I said nothing. I looked up at the sky and after realizing that the rain wasn't gonna stop anytime soon, I couldn't help but feel relieved. Maybe I'll get to enjoy it in the night if not now.

"Hils?" I heard Max's voice and turned around to see him poking his head out the window and smiling at me. "Man, where were you?"

"In the park." It wasn't a lie.

Max, now turned entirely towards me through the window, took a glance at me before saying, "You should've come back when the rain started."

"Why?" I asked genuinely, trying not to sound too curious. Max didn't answer. I saw him looking back at me nervously, as if afraid to answer my question. Knowing that I'd better not make him answer something he didn't want to, I said, "I like the rain. I didn't want to come back."

Without waiting to see his expression, I turned my back towards him and took off my other sneaker. I turned it over and a few drops of water dripped on the already-wet ground, making dark spots where they fell.

"Well," came Tyson's voice. "I hope you're happy now."

He pointed towards my clothes—my sweatshirt hung loosely against my body but my jeans were practically clinging to my legs—and continued, "Go get changed before you catch a cold, okay?"

I looked away from him, down at my feet again, after nodding slightly. I laid my sneakers against the wooden floor and started to dry myself with the towel. It would've been better to take a shower first but, surprisingly, as cold as I was feeling, I didn't want that. I wanted to stay here, in the wettest clothes, and enjoy the rain for a while before taking a nice, hot bath. So, I did what I wanted to do, pretending to be drying myself but trying to enjoy the rain instead.

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. My cold feet touched the colder, muddy ground and the sensation of the simple touch was just so wonderful that I wanted to stay like that forever. I supported my weight on my palms and faced the sky, eyes still closed, and listened to the mesmerizing sound of the rain as it hit random things…the marble roof, the wooden floor, the wet ground, the hard pavement, the small fish pond in the Dojo, the rich green leaves on the old trees, my wet jeans and everything else around me. It was so amazing to hear that. I found it hard to believe that just a few hours ago, I had thought that all of this stuff couldn't help me forget my problems. That the rain couldn't distract me.

I smiled slightly to myself as the rain drops hit my face. I didn't flinch at the force with which they did so. I kinda liked it, the cold pressing against my skin. I could never understand why rain was considered to be a symbol of disaster. It was such a wonderful thing, people were just so lucky to witness it at its full potential like I was.

I realized that when the rain would stop, I'd probably be all miserable again. Why not make this happiness last for a little more time? Even if I did catch a cold, I doubt I'd regret it.

So, I sat there, enjoying the rain. Everyone was outside now, enjoying the rain too while it lasted. Max and Tyson had an eating contest while I just drank some coffee Grandpa had made for us. It was very comfy out here. It almost felt like the old times, except, I couldn't shake off the fact that it felt as if Kai was keeping an eye on me for some unknown reason. I'd caught him looking in my direction a few times and I couldn't help but wonder why. Did it have something to do with the conversation we had this morning? Or was it something else that had happened when I was gone?

"Aren't you gonna change into some dry clothes?"

I looked up to see Kai looking at me again. But, at least, this time he had a reason to do so. I positioned myself so that I myself was facing him now instead of my back.

"I will." I said softly, not wanting to ruin the wonderful moment by giving him any impression of the awkwardness between us.

"You'll catch a cold if you stay in those wet clothes any longer."

I could tell he was just concerned, his eyes showed it. I decided I'd better do what he told me to, instead of ruining our relationship all the more. So I got up, grabbed the towel and walked up to my room.

The hot water, after spending quite a few hours in the cold weather, felt oddly relaxing and I took my time washing my hair and body thoroughly before changing into dry and warm clothes. I was just hanging my wet clothes when I heard a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" The door opened slightly and Kai's head poked inside.

"Yeah, sure." I replied, unable to hide my surprise. He smiled casually at me before entering and shutting the door behind him. I was just about to ask him what he was doing here – in a polite way, of course—when he walked over and held out something to me.

"Thanks." I said, taking my cell from him, noticing that it was already switched on. I knew I hadn't switched it on…

"Hey, did you—"

"Tell me something."

Both of us said at the same time and I smiled.

"Tell you what?" I offered, trying to be polite.

"Let's sit down." He said, pretending that I hadn't wanted to say something. He walked towards the bed and sat down at the edge and I followed suit. I looked at him to see that his expression had gone soft. Somehow, I knew exactly what he was going to ask before he did.

He hesitated, studying my face before finally saying, "Is there something wrong at home?"

I was surprised. Not because after all the declination that had happened earlier today, he still wanted to have that conversation with me but because….well, how had he gotten so close?

"No." I lied instantly, almost defensively, but I started to feel guilty then. Hadn't I promised myself that I would tell the guys the truth?

"Then answer this." He looked at me slightly angrily and I regretted lying to him all the more. "Why didn't you go to your house instead of coming here, considering it's closer to the park than the Dojo is?"

There was silence for a while and I could tell that my expression gave away everything that he wanted to know. I looked down at my hands in shame. How did I get myself into these messes?

"Unless," He said, still staring at me, "you were somewhere else, of course."

My head snapped up at the accusation. Not that it wasn't true, but how did he know that? Had he seen me there? Had he seen Drew with me? Was that what he was talking about with Tyson a while ago?

"How'd you know where I was?" I asked, afraid to know the answer. He was quite for a while as he studied the look on my face.

"I didn't." He said, smiling triumphantly now. "You just told me."

Oh, GOSH! Very clever, Hiwatari.

"Now you can say I intrigued you." He said, smiling at my shocked expression again.

"Look, Kai." I started, feeling something hitch in my throat again. Please, don't cry, I begged myself, Not now. Not in front of him.

"No, you look." He said, looking serious again. "So what if you told me the truth? What then?"

I was quiet again, thinking about his question. It would hurt no-one to tell the truth, would it? I remembered feeling guilty like I had been feeling in the morning. I remembered wanting to hit myself for hurting the guys feelings. I didn't want to feel that bad again. Maybe, if I told him, he'd forgive me for what happened earlier today.

I guess he took what he saw in my expression as a positive answer, for he continued.

"Tell me honestly." He started. "Are you having some problems at home? Is that why you're distracted?"

Be honest, I reminded myself. You'll regret not telling the truth later. So, I forced myself to do just that.

"Yeah." I said through gritted teeth. "That's it."

He nodded understandingly before turning to stare out my open window. It was quiet for a while as I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. His face was emotionless as he looked out at the rain falling down through the window. I couldn't quite guess where his mind was at in particular. He looked so absorbed in the rain, yet so deep in thought about something else. So, I gave up and looked away at my feet.

A few more seconds passed by, the silence didn't bother me. It wasn't uncomfortable. I had told him the truth, hadn't I? He didn't look like he was about to ask me about anything of that particular subject any soon. It wasn't hard talking actually. I wondered why I dreaded it. But then again, Kai hadn't even asked me anything, not yet. He hadn't asked exactly what the problem was. I realized that that was what I was afraid of sharing; the fact that Mom was acting like a whore and wouldn't listen to me when I told her to stop it. That was gonna be difficult to explain.

"So…"

Kai's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him. He had his face turned towards me and that was when I realized that it was the first time ever that Kai and I were this close physically. For the first time, I actually noticed him carefully, face to face. How had I missed that his skin was so pale and marble-like? How could I have missed those perfect features he held? For a second, I actually wanted to reach out and touch him. Just to see how his skin felt against mine. Just to feel the softness of it. Was it as hot as mine was now? Or was it cold, considering he had just came inside from the rain?

His two-toned mane was just so unusual, so unique. And then there were his eyes, his big amethyst eyes that looked so gorgeous against his pale skin. I felt like I could go deeper and deeper into them and would never want to stop.

He absentmindedly shifted in his place, making me come back to reality in reaction to the sudden motion. Thank God, he took no notice of me staring at him like that. But, then again, he had been doing so, too, a while ago.

"You seem to love the rain." He stated. It felt more of a statement rather than a question and I smiled. I was relieved, cuz for one moment I thought he might get back to the original subject…

"I do." I said and he smiled in response. When he did so, a small dimple—that I had never noticed before—appeared on his cheek, just above his jaw. He looked nice when he smiled. I wondered why he didn't do it more often.

"Is that why you came late?" He asked, looking curious but his expression was an amused one. "You wanted to take a bath out in the streets?"

I laughed at the statement. It seemed odd to me that the Kai Hiwatari would crack a joke. I mean, he was usually so serious and grumpy.

"Yeah." I said, when I stopped laughing, and looked up at him. He was smiling at me, his eye brow raised in question, almost as if to ask, 'What are you laughing at?'. "I wanted to enjoy the weather."

He looked away, not noticing how clearly I had lied. I didn't want him to know that I had a maniac following me around and that was why I came so late, all drenched in rain water. I didn't wanna start a fight over it with him again.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, turning around to look at me.

"About what?"

"Your family problems?"

Okay, what next?

"Do you wanna know?" I asked back. Part of me wanted to avoid that conversation, but part of me kept screaming the same thing over and over again. You promised yourself you won't hurt their feelings again.

Kai looked as if he was in deep thought. Then all of a sudden, he said, "Not if you don't want to tell."

"I wanna tell you the truth." I said, without hesitation. He looked surprised at first at my statement—I guess I could tell why. Only a few hours ago, I had refused bluntly to tell him anything at all and now, I said I wanted him to know the truth—and he studied my face for a while before giving a small smile of appreciation.

"That's new." He joked, making me smile again. "Okay, tell me, then."

I hesitated. How to word this?

"Maybe I can help?" He suggested, apparently taking my silence as sudden change in decision.

"It's about Mom." I started and he nodded understandingly in response.

"I heard your parents divorced a few years ago." He said. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, really." I said, not wanting to think of the sad memories. "It's just that I'm worried about her."

Kai looked at me, waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath and looked away from his gaze, trying to think of ways to word my Mom's situation.

"She's dating." I said simply, then stayed quiet for some time. But, apparently, Kai didn't like waiting cuz he continued for me.

"You don't want her to see anyone?"

"It's not that." I shook my head, turning back towards him.

"You don't like the guy?" He guessed again.

"I wish I could say that." I replied. "But there isn't just a particular guy."

"Oh." He said, finally catching on. There was silence again as I let him contemplate on the situation. Then, his forehead creased in confusion and he asked, "I don't get it. Why are you worried?"

"She comes home after midnight." I explained, looking at him disbelievingly. Wasn't it a worrying situation? "And everyday it's with some other guy. You'd think she's a grown woman with a teenage daughter and all and that she'd be a little more mature and act like a grown up, you know, and stick to this one particular guy but it's like she doesn't even care who she dates as long as she does. You should see her face when she comes home. It's so repulsive just to watch."

Man, that felt nice. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to backstab at my Mom and stuff but it felt so nice to let things out for once.

"Thanks for the explanation." Kai replied simply, smiling at me as if he couldn't believe what he had heard. Well, I hadn't spoken for so long for quite a while, hadn't I? "I understand what your problem is now."

"And you still think you can help?" I challenged.

"Maybe." He replied. "Maybe not."

I smiled politely at him before standing up and taking out a pair of shoes from the closet. The wooden floor was so cold that I thought my feet would go numb any second. Kai looked out the window again as I put on my shoes. This time, I watched him from behind and didn't look away. He looked just as amazing from here as he was up-close. His beautiful eyes against his pale, smooth skin, the way he was smiling –I could see the small dimple on his skin from where I was standing—and the way his eyes turned a little upwards when he did…it was as if I was seeing a whole new person. It was just so interesting to watch that I found myself unable to look away.

"Hey?" He turned around to look at me.

"Yeah?"

He stood up and walked over towards me. He held out his hand, as if waiting for me to give him something. I stared at his palm, then looked up at him.

"What?"

"Let me see your hand."

I was confused. Why'd he want to see my hands? He raised his eye brow in question again and gestured towards his out-stretched hand.

"Why?" I asked, sounding defensive. I didn't get it. First, he was smiling and acting nice and talking and stuff, then suddenly, he was asking whether he could take a look at my hands? But then again, I had wanted to touch him a while ago, hadn't I?

Getting annoyed at my lack of response, Kai grabbed hold of my fingers—almost too carefully—and pulled my sleeve upwards. I had thought that, with all the work out the guys did, his hands would be rough and hard but they weren't. They were rather smooth…but hard at the same time.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing towards the purple marks embedded upon my skin. I looked down at them blankly, feeling confused. What was that?

"I don't know." I replied honestly. Kai looked at me before turning towards my wrist and slowly, he touched the bruises with his other hand. Instinctively, I flinched at the touch and he pulled his hand back, apologizing.

"Fingers." He said, looking up at me and I suddenly realized what they were. I made an attempt to pull my hand out of his grasp but it was as if he saw what was coming and had tightened his grip on my fingers before I could even do so. "Remember now?"

I was suddenly breathing hard, tears were starting to form. Just when I thought that, for once, things were going well, they'd come to the point I had dreaded the most. I didn't want anyone to know about Drew. I knew he would eventually leave me alone—no matter how long it took—and why tell the guys when there was a risk? I couldn't take a risk when my only family and friends were involved, could I?

"Hillary?" Kai asked, looking up at me when I looked down. "What happened?"

I didn't answer, afraid that my voice would break if I did. Suddenly, the image of Drew smiling at me flashed in my mind and I shuddered.

"Kai…" I whispered slowly, looking up at him with watery eyes. I blinked back the tears and bit my lips, trying to see clearly. Kai's hold on my hand loosened as he looked down at me with confusion clear on his perfect features. I swallowed loudly and tried to look away from his eyes. I was afraid he might read the growing fear in them as clearly as I could read his growing anger right now. Wait…why was he angry?

"What happened?" Contrary to what I was seeing in his eyes, his voice was soft and controlled.

"Nothing." I said stupidly but refused to show any emotion. He didn't buy it but he said nothing.

I waited as he looked at me for a while, making no motion. Then, slowly he looked down and let go of my hand completely. I rolled down my sleeve and looked away, hoping I hadn't offended him. I stared at a random spot on the floor, pretending to find it very interesting. He edged a little closer but I didn't react. I stared at the same spot, as he took another step towards me. He was so close now that all could see was him. I could even smell his sweet scent –lilac?—and hear every breath he took. I looked up, realizing only just now that even though he wasn't much taller than I was—five foot eleven? Or maybe six? I was five nine or something—and he stood hovering over me. I wasn't sure what he was searching my eyes for, but he was doing it; looking right into my eyes with a questioning look.

Kai raised his hand to grab my other one. Before I could react, he had already pulled up my sleeve to reveal the same purple marks highlighting my skin as there were on the other.

"Who did this?" He asked firmly, all signs of softness gone from his voice.

"Kai…" I started again but he cut me off.

"Don't you dare lie, Hillary."

And so, I was mad. And not being able to control my anger was one of my distinctive qualities.

"I can do whatever I want, Kai." I said, rather furiously, all the tears now gone. "I told you the truth once, you can't expect me to do it again."

I was expecting an angrier response, a bitter comeback at the very least, but the softness of his tone took me by surprise.

"I thought you wanted me to know the truth." He said, looking offended at my sudden outburst and I began to feel guilty. Maybe that's exactly what he had been intending to do. "I wasn't forcing you to do anything."

I sighed, trying to calm myself down. Kai looked at me, patiently, waiting for me to say something. I didn't.

"Are you gonna tell or not?"

"No." I replied firmly. "Now let go."

He stared at me for a while, searching my face again. I was still mad, but my eyes were still wet from the tears. He continued staring at me and till finally, I couldn't take anymore.

"Stop doing that!" I exclaimed, looking at him angrily again, but avoiding his eyes.

"Doing what?" I could practically hear the smile in his voice. How rude.

"Staring at me."

"Hmm." The short reply made me look back at him. His lips were still turned up into a cocky smile. "Sorry."

"You don't look so sorry."

"It's true."

"Why do you do that anyway?"

He took a small step towards me—I would've barely noticed if I hadn't already been so close—and smirked cockily.

"No reason."

"You were staring at me a while ago." I pointed, taking an involuntary step backwards at the proximity. "When we were outside."

"No reason." He repeated with a smirk. I noticed he still hadn't let go of my wrist like I had told him.

"Are you trying to be annoying?"

"I don't know." He said, pretending to be confused. "Do you try to be annoying when you say that?"

Now I knew what was going on. Whatever, then. It wasn't as if I wanted not to tell him. I just couldn't. So there was no reason to feel guilty.

"Whatever, Kai." I said, letting him know that I couldn't care less. "Now let go."

He looked a bit annoyed at my reply, leaving me feeling smug, but he did what I told him to. Slowly –with a concerned glance in my direction—he let go of my bruised wrist and I instantly picked at my sleeve, trying to cover my bruises. They didn't hurt, that was probably why I didn't notice them. Kai must've seen them when we were sitting side by side on the porch. That would explain why he was staring at me. To know whether something had happened while I was 'out for a walk', something to be concerned about. If it was, I probably would've been scared or distracted. Maybe that was what he was searching for on my expression; fear or agitation.

"I gotta go." He said suddenly, turning around.

"Wait!" I called, making him turn back towards me. I wasn't sure why I called but I recognized the strange feeling I felt when he turned around; disappointment. I was disappointed that he was leaving. I wanted to talk to him. It was the first time he had ever shown any emotion towards me. It felt like he was leaving all too soon and I wanted to spend more time with him. Why was that?

"Where are you going?" I asked stupidly, and he stared at me blankly, making me feel all the more stupid.

"Out." He replied simply, but his expression was an amused one.

"Sorry." I apologized and he looked at me with all the more amusement. "Go ahead."

So with one, last glance at me –and a small nod…of goodbye?—he turned around and walked towards the door. I stared at his back till he turned the corner, leaving me to my thoughts again.