Waking Nightmare

"What…exactly ... are you doing?" Hermione asked, a startled expression resting on her features. He was on top of her, almost panting for breath, his dark brown eyes staring back into hers with an intimidating, lustful expression - holding her wrists firmly above her head. Her head was cloudy, still muddled by sleep, a pulsation within her body and the fading images of a tall, black haired man.

"You were," Zabini stated softly, his voice husky and dreamlike, into her ear as he leaned closer. "-moaning in your sleep."

Gaping at him, she could feel the warmth of his naked torso against her nightdress; very aware of the fact her legs were open, his knee resting between them. How did I end up like this? "Don't… be… absurd." Feeling him shift, her eyes widened at the realization that his knee wasn't all she could feel; and worse, it made her pulsate even more.

"You sounded like you were enjoying it," He purred, resting his lips against her neck, his voice vibrating on her skin – sending a shiver down her spine. "Did he feel like this, in your dream?" His lips were soft as they kissed her neck, teeth scraping at her skin while he lowered himself onto her – a small groan escaping her lips despite the warnings in her mind.

His knee moved upwards, causing a jolt of pleasure through her as he touched her exposed sex. She relaxed for a moment, her hips rising like they were possessed against him, lips parted as her breathes became more ragged. His lips travelled to her shoulders, collarbone and down to where her breasts lay – nipples erect through the cotton nightgown. Still she rocked against his knee as he pressed it against her, the sounds coming from her more stimulating than he could have predicted.

The young man moved his hands, shifting his grasp to free his hand, moving it down to her legs, pressing them to open wider. Moving his lips to the other side of her neck, he started again to nip at her skin; meanwhile his fingers took the place of his knee, his thumb rubbing against her clitoris while he slipped a finger or two inside her. The gasp she produced made him grin, and bite the skin underneath her ear while he increased the movement of his fingers.

The fog was suddenly lifted from her mind as her whole body seemed to tense, arching beneath him a soft cry coming from her lips; a name almost being let out.

A chuckle came from his lips as he rose to look at her once more, her eyes flashing open with recognition with what had just happened, what she could feel through his boxers and the guilt that was washing over her. "So, the famous Hermione Granger can make this kind of expression."

"Get off me Zabini." She barked, trying to break away.

"Give me a good reason to." He purred, causing she snarled a swear under her breath. "Don't you want to feel this good every morning?"

"GET. OFF."

"That's not a good reason, Granger." Zabini purred, pressing his thumb to her clitoris once more. "And you can't say it's because you aren't turned on, because," He lowered his lips to her ear once more, "I can feel that it's true."

Fighting against the pleasure in her body, she glared at him, making her self fight against his more. "Because I didn't consent to this." Hermione stated plainly, feeling the twitch in her abdomen as he continued.

The dark eyed young man seemed to pause, thinking, not raising his head from it's current position. "Perhaps, you need a little motivation." Hermione scoffed in return, fully awake and hating herself for being turned on in this situation. "Shall I tell the rest of the school…whose name you say when you are having your sex dreams?"

Her heart was in her throat, her eyes locked on his face as she watched him with a disbelieving expression, "I can't imagine anyone would respect you when they learn about it," Now fear took hold of her features, hatred growing as well. "Severus, oh Severus – harder-

"Stop it." She growled, but he didn't comply, "I. Said. Stop. It."

"Not until you say you want me" The voice was nothing more than a growl.

"That won't happen."

"Not even to protect your little secret?"

The whisper was like a dagger to her heart.

"I-

"Yes?" He purred into her ear, his thumb doing little circles on her clitoris as she struggled to find the words.

"I can't have sex with you." Those words weren't right. "I won't."

"But you want to."

"No." But even she could hear the weakness in that rebuttal.

"I could convince you."

Finally, her voice sounded firm. "I said no."

"Perhaps you should reconsider….

"Get off me, now."

He complied, but not before he kissed her. A look in his eye told her this wouldn't be the end of his attempt to seduce her.

Laying there for a moment, she tried to digest what, exactly, had just occurred. She felt…. dirty. And all she could think of was him.

Grabbing her robe, she threw open the door to her room. Sprinting forward, she fought back the tears, feelings of guilt and the trembling that seemed overwhelm her muscles.

This isn't the first time.

I should have stopped him.

I shouldn't have been turned on.

He touched me, his fingers were…

For a moment, I wanted him so badly.

What am I thinking!

I should have fought back,

I should have said no,

I shouldn't have been turned on by him, when I love someone else.

Then…why?

Why did it feel so good?

True, Severus and I haven't done very much.

Kissing, and a little touching.

He's never even seen me naked.

I've wanted to be with Severus for so long now,

I've felt him, albeit briefly,

He always stops me from touching him there.

Zabini is eag- what am I saying?

I don't even like Zabini.

Her feet led her right to his door, the wood felt so familiar – as if the warmth of his touch was held within the grain as she reached out, hesitation heavy.

How can I tell him?

Tears threatened as lips quivered, fingers curling back away. For once in her life, she was at a loss for words. She felt so filthy, as if ever inch of her had been marked by his touch and the willingness of her body to betray her.

I'm disgusting.

Just like that, drops of tears started to fall to the floor – barely making a sound.

The door opened suddenly, and she felt her head jerk up; cheeks stained as tears ran faster when she saw him. He seemed so wild, strong and stunning with the firelight flickering in the background – his long black hair and dark eyes offset by the button down white shirt, currently undone and untucked from his trousers.

I'm sorry, for everything I have done.

/

Sounds were mingled, blurred, like images rushing by as you watched trees from inside a car. Sitting in the Great Hall, nothing could make her raise her eyes from her plate – the chatter drowned out by the feeling of numbness.

The whole thing made her feel sick.

She had told him everything, never once being able to equate the feelings cursing through her with a physical trauma.

At first she thought he would snap, break something or punch a wall like Ron had done.

But he didn't.

Hermione had never seen someone with such an expression, much less being the cause of so much pain.

Still he had taken her hands, kissed each one softly and whispered that he loved her.

They hadn't spoken in a week and a half.

Feeling her side being jabbed, Hermione looked up to make eye contact with Ginny. The girl seemed to be waiting for an answer, but Hermione couldn't have recalled the question if she tried. "Hermione?"

"Can you repeat the question?"

The red head blinked, eyeing the others around her who shrugged in reply. "What's going on with you?"

"How do you mean?" Ginny sighed, standing – dragging the girl up with her. "Ginny, where-

"Just come with me." Ginny stated flatly, pulling the girl along behind her. Hermione's eyes hit the floor as they walked, never once glancing forward. "Merlin." Ginny breathed, suddenly stopping.

"Wha-

Hermione felt everything dissolve around her at the sight of Blaise Zabini. His face was bloody and swollen, almost unrecognizable if not for the Head Boy crest upon the uniform. His lip was puffy, blood dripping out from the sides of his mouth. His nose looked broken, blood running from there as well. Dark purple bruising rested on his cheeks, making his face resemble that of a chipmunk. An ill chipmunk, everything considered. He did not glance at her, in fact, he avoided them all together. His eyes were swollen too, a few scratches above his eyebrows. In addition, he was walking with a limp, being escorted by a Professor to see Madam Pomfrey – no doubt.

"Who do you think had toe guts to beat up the old sex god of Slytherin?" Ginny mused, "An ex-lover? Mad boyfriend?" turning back face her friend; whose pale features and teary eyes made the red head startle. "Hermione, what's wrong? Hermione?"

The tears were flowing before she could even utter a word, her breaths getting more and more rapid; filled with so much pain, and so much love.

"Hermione, Hermione, calm down." Ginny whispered, getting the girl to her feet – out of the sightline of possible passerby's. Making it to the bathroom, Hermione sobbed.

It all just came rushing out as Hermione dropped to her knees, clutching her friend's hands for dear life. Ginny listened patiently, careful not to interrupt to interject her own personal commentary until Hermione was quite finished.

"Do you want to know what I think?" The red head asked softly, watching as Hermione raised her gaze to make eye contact – nodding. "I think the fault lies entirely with Blaise. He took advantage of you when you were half asleep, and he didn't ask for consent. Regardless of what you might be feeling about the act itself, he shouldn't have forced himself on you. That isn't cheating Hermione."

The curly haired girl shook her head, trying to blink away the tears. "But I feel so dirty, Ginny, I mean I orgasmed… against his hand, I let him touch me-."

"He was trying to seduce you before, you said so a few weeks ago – always trying to invite you to share a bed, or pressing himself up behind you." Ginny wanted to scream out that it was assault, and blackmail, but perhaps it was all to fresh within her friend's mind yet. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have fought back!" Hermione cried out, increasing her hold on Ginny's hands. "I should have done…. something. Anything." Sinking further into the floor, she tried to catch a breath. "What he must think of me."

"Severus?" A nod. "Well, I think he loves you, and thinks you were in danger."

"How can you tell?" Hermione whimpered, "He hasn't spoken to me in more than a week."

"Well, if Blaise's face is any indication – then I say he cares a great deal about you. What teacher would risk their job to date a student, let alone beat up another student to protect her honor?"

"But I don't want him to lose his job!" The girl cried out, losing her breath to the words, panic in her eyes and body. "And I thought… he was going… to propose… before Christmas." She struggled to get out, her breaths faltering – stuck between her ribs.

Ginny was silent for a moment, before wrapping her arms around her shaking friend. "Oh Hermione," Thoughts racing, the red head didn't know how to offer relief – instead she just let her cry until there were no more tears.