I looked at him intently, his eyes gazing my bottom lip. I wanted this yet at the same time knew this was a terrible idea. I should just stick to my plan and ignore everyone here until they need me. "Rayne…" his soft voice began to say to me.
"Bellamy…" I mimicked him softly. I felt him slip his hand from cupping my face to sliding his index finger under my chin lifting my face up to meet his.
My breath hitched in my throat; sure I'd kissed boys before. I'd even had sex before so why was this so different. Why was he so different? What was it about this brown haired, brown eyes man that made me forget what was happening around me? Forget what I was even down here, put me in a state of peace.
I hadn't even realized I had adverted my eyes from his till I felt his lips brush against mine ever so slightly causing me to stiffen. My eyes turned to face his he looked almost scared. Why would he be scared he barely even kissed me? Was he afraid I would reject him? I wasn't sure why there were at least fifty other girls here that would kill for the chance.
I kept my eyes on him as I pushed myself up on my toes allowing my lips to gently press against his. His lips were soft and tender, not something I was expecting them to be. I felt his hand move from under my chin to the crook of my neck, as his free hand wrapped around my waist settling on the upper part of my butt.
I felt him press his lips into mine further, deepening the kiss ever so. I let myself stand properly forcing him to lean down towards me. He lightly licked my bottom lip the graze of his tongue giving me shivers. I opened my mouth granting him the access he was asking for. Letting our mouths do more talking than we had since we arrived. Before too long I felt him slowly move his face from mine. He than cupped my face with both hands gazing into my eyes with the same tender care I had seen in his eyes when he'd seen his sister on the drop ship.
It hadn't even been a day, why would he look at me like that? It's really not like I am any body special. Sure I'm special because I can heal people, but that was my job? Was being close to me healing him somehow? I felt myself back away from him as he let his arms fall to his sides. Lifting his one hand he lingered a finger brushing it along his lips. He was teasing me. Why?
"Rayne…" He said softly again, the way his voice sounded when he said my name I don't think I will ever get used to the way it makes me feel.
"Will you come sit with me?" He asked me offering his hand, nodding I took his hand and followed him a short ways into the woods.
The rain had finally stopped and I was sitting on the ground wrapped in Bellamy's arms as he was leaning against a trees trunk. We had been talking about our lives on the Ark.
"Seriously? I can't see you being the kind of girl to have pigtails in her hair." He said chuckling.
"That's real rich coming from the guy who had a 'banky' till he was what did you say it was… ten?" I said laughing.
"Hey, not so loud you'll ruin my reputation." He smirked.
"Oh yea, wouldn't want it getting out that bad boy Bellamy Blake used to sleep with a 'Banky'" I teased him. I felt his hand that was on my hip start rubbing circles into the exposed skin that I had causing me to look up at him and smile.
"What is this?" I asked him softly.
"Us?" He asked, I nodded at him moving away from him slightly to talk to her properly. Only for him to pull me back into him and making his grip on me tighten. "Whatever the hell we want it to be."
I smiled; "What do we want it to be than Bell?" I asked him softly.
"You make me feel at ease, and you're the only person I don't have to try so hard to be around. You're also the only woman down here." He pointed out, "and please, never call me that in public."
"Fine, and I get that feeling with you too. You don't think that it's at all too quick? It's been a day not even." I explained to him.
"Well, if we were on the Ark I'd probably eat my dinner rations with you. Than ask if you wanted to watch Mars's moon float by the star scape window with me." He chuckled.
"Oh how romantic." I sassed him.
"We can always find ways to have moments like this Rayne." He said yawning.
I nodded to him, "True but won't you 'having' me just be shown as a weakness?" I asked him.
"I think they see my sister as more of a weakness than you would be. You they would see more as an asset than a distraction." I shrugged.
"I'd be a bit of both would I not?" I asked him. I don't really know what he was saying after that. I'll assume it was because I could feel myself falling asleep in his arms.
I woke up to the sudden feeling that I was alone. I wasn't shocked to see that I was right in thinking so. I looked around for any sign of Bellamy only to find none. Standing up I decided to head back to the drop ship to sleep inside when I heard a scuffle off in the distance and headed out to check it out. Bellamy was standing in a clearing, I was about to walk out to him when I noticed Wells was standing in front of him looking confused.
"I don't want to shoot you Wells." Bellamy began to say. "Hell, I like you – but I do need them to think, that you're dead." He said pointing a gun upwards towards the sky. First where did he get a gun, second why would he want the Ark to think Wells is dead, third… where the hell did he get a gun.
"Why? Why are you doing this, for real, not some crap about getting to do what you want to do?" Wells asked.
I noticed how uncomfortable that seemed to make Bellamy, being asked such a formal question. He was literally being questioned about all his motives right then and there.
"I have my reasons." He said simply, "I also have the gun. So I ask the questions, and the question is why aren't you helping me?"
"You dad banished you, Wells, and yet here you are, still doing his bidding, following the rules. Aren't you tired of always doing what's expected of you? Stand up to him. Take off that wristband, and you'll be amazed at how good it feels." Bellamy gave one hell of a speech.
Was this what he wanted from me too? Gain my trust? Break down all my walls; get me to take off the only thing letting the Ark know I'm alive? What was his plan exactly lead me on to think that I had some sort of future with him? Clearly the only thing Bellamy cared about was the power he was getting from all these kids.
I was just some kink in his chain that needed to be ironed out, just like Wells is right now. Wells is a smart kid though he'd never give into this plan. I looked up at the two boys wanting so badly to just rewind a few hours to when I was laying in Bellamy's arms when none of this sick and twisted game was even there.
Of course it was there though, this was his plan from the start. He knows I have a connection to the one other kid here who will never bend to his will. He must have assumed that I would convince Clarke to take off her wristband than he'd basically have the entire Ark thinking all of us are dead that it's not safe. God, I was so stupid to think beyond his protective brother, I have to be the leader bullshit that there was actually a man there.
"No. Never. Not gonna happen." Wells voice filled my ears, "Is that clear enough for you?"
"Yea it is." Bellamy said taking in a deep breath before cocking the gun in his hand. "I'm sorry it had to be this way." I watched as he put the gun into the back lining of his pants and looked off to the one direction, I noticed Murphy and a few others walk out from the brush towards Wells.
Wells immediately tried running away shouting for them to back away and leave him alone; Murphy had this sick look in his eyes. Were they all playing me? The whole nice guy routines, was I really that naïve? I watched as Bellamy turned to Murphy while the others held him down.
"I have to get back, think you can handle things out here." Bellamy said.
"Rayne?" Murphy asked him, only receiving a nod from Bellamy. "If she finds out about this…" Murphy began to say, but I didn't stay to hear the rest of it. I had, had just about enough of this entire group for one day.
I made my way back to the campsite and headed for the drop ship, once inside I made my way up to the top floor of the drop ship. I was surprised to find that it was completely empty, same with the first floor of the ship. Everyone had chosen to sleep outside; I guess they all finally got tired of living in a metal tin, regardless of it being in space or on the ground.
I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall pulling my legs up to my chest. I rested my head on my knees and felt my cheeks grow wet. I guess this is what it feels like to be betrayed. Now I at least I know how Clarke feels towards Wells, how my parents felt towards Jaha and Kane. How these kids felt towards the entire populace of the Ark.
I could hear the birds chirping from inside the drop ship causing me to stir in place before sitting up to see Murphy sitting on the one seat in front of me. He looked upset, but he also looked confused and worried. Not sure why he didn't feel anything but ashamed for what he did to Wells the night before.
"What do you want John." I asked him sitting up pulling the beanie off my head and tossing it to the one corner of the room.
"Bellamy had us all searching for you, he said he couldn't find you last night." He began to say. Funny, I was panicking when I woke up last night and couldn't find him. Only to find him threatening Wells and you guys probably either killing him or taking off his wristband. If I add lying to me for an entire day into the mix, oh gosh we have a party.
"Oh weird, I thought he knew I would be sleeping in here. Why was he looking for me anyway, its not like I belong to him. I'm not an object one just looses. I'm not a watch or a trinket." I continued, sounding snappier than I had meant to.
"I um, I uh guess he was looking to talk to you about what happened last night before it rained? That whole wristband thing?" I nodded, at his answer. Crock of shit he obviously left his attack on Wells and assumed I'd still be by that tree sleeping so he could act like he left to take a piss and I would be none the wiser.
"Guess I'll go look for him." I told Murphy as I made my way to the ladder and headed out of the drop ship in search of Bellamy. This had to be good; I'd honestly love to hear his answer for what happened last night, after I fell asleep.
Everyone was still all over the place, except today they where at least collecting wood, and other normal duties. No doubt the work of Bellamy leading his people around just like the Chancellor would if he were here. God I was completely stupid and naïve to think he was right in any sense of the word. I can't believe I actually let someone that close to me, change my ways of thinking all for what? A kiss… seriously Rayne what is wrong with you.
I finally found Bellamy he was standing near the edge of the camp with no one around him. Walking over to him I played out the many things I had wanted to say to him. He turned the second I had stepped on a small branch. I watched his eyes light up; he looked relieved to see me. Did he think I ran off or got killed?
"Rayne, where did you go last night I –" I held my hand up to stop him.
"I saw you Bell. I saw you with Wells, Murphy and the other boys in the clearing last night." I said to him sternly. "Is that all this was between us? Just getting close to me so you could take this off me?" I asked him lifting up my wrist.
"No. Well yes I want you to take it off Rayne, but I would never force you to, let alone use you to do it."
"Oh really? Than why not just tell me what you where up to, why not wake me up and tell me where you where going?"
He looked down, "I didn't want you to get mad at me, like you are now." He sighed.
"Should have thought that one out shouldn't you have then? I'm not like those kids Bellamy. You can't lie to me, and expect me to just accept it. I actually care about things, not just the getting revenge on those around me. When I feel like punishing the Ark for what they did to me… I'll do it my way I don't need you conning me into it. So look for a new pawn because I am just simply not it." I told him as I turned around to leave.
"You were never a pawn Rayne. From the moment I saw you, and you cheered up Octavia on the Drop Ship… I knew I needed you, not just because you could be useful to me, not because I feel like I can use you or whatever you have floating about in your head… but because I wanted you."
I sighed freezing in place, was he telling me the truth? Probably. Did I want to believe him, obviously I did. I knew turning around now and heading back to his arms which he'd probably welcome me into without hesitation would just let him know that he could literally screw up at anytime and I would just accept it. I wouldn't be made weak, not by him.
"Guess you should have thought about that then shouldn't you?" I asked him as I walked back into the camp before heading over to the tank filled with water, taking some.
I sat down on a log watching as the youth began to run around chasing each other and having a general good time with each other. It'd been hours since Bellamy and I had gotten in that fight near the edge of the camp. I saw Wells walking towards the drop ship with some clothing as a guy began to approach him. I couldn't make out what he was saying but that's when I watched Bellamy walk out of the drop ship.
He was shirtless, with the gun tucked into the front of his pants. Shortly after he was followed out by a girl with long black hair. I felt every fiber of my being tense as he kissed her softly on the lips. This just confirmed everything I had confronted him about. I was jus some game to him.
"You still don't get it, do you, Chancellor?" Bellamy finally said. "This is home." He finished saying once the girl had walked away from him. "Your father's rules no longer apply here." He walked over to Wells and took all the things out of his arms. I walked closer to the situation once Wells tried moving towards Bellamy to get the things back.
"Oh, no, no, Atom. Atom hold up." Bellamy said again causing the other guy to stop fussing with Wells.
Bellamy turned back around to see that I was now standing next to Wells. He looked hurt. He looked hurt. That's right HE did, when I was the one that just watched him kiss another girl after begging me not to leave his side.
"You want it back? Take it."
I took the remaining few things Wells had in his hands and tossed it behind us watching a group of kid's attack it like it was food. Wells walked closer to Bellamy. "Is this what you want? Chaos?"
Bellamy was staring me down as he spoke to Wells. "What's wrong with a little chaos?"
He said as we all got alerted to a girl screaming off in the distance. Bellamy, Atom, Wells and I ran towards the scream followed by many other kid's. Only to be back where that large fire was the night before. There were wristbands littered all over the ground. No doubt they'd been taking them off all day.
I looked up to see Murphy was the one causing the girl to scream. He was holding her in some sort of hold over top of the fire leaning her face fairly close to the flames. Once he saw Bellamy he called him over, "Check it out. We want the Ark to think the ground is killing us right?" Murphy said still not seeing me walking up to the situation as well as the rest of the people. The girl was struggling in place. She didn't look like she was happy about the situation, she still had her wristband on which did explain what he was saying.
"Figured it'll look better if we suffer a little bit first." Murphy said his face dropping the moment he saw me walk around a tree now in full clear sight.
What was it with him and Bellamy caring so much about what I thought about them? They had to realize I didn't really care at all about them anymore. They could literally do whatever the hell it is they want to do. I was going to have no part in it anymore this was all so sickening.
Wells quickly ran over knocking Murphy back as I rushed to the girls' side. "Let her go!" Wells yelled at him as I helped the girl up. "You don't have to take it off just because they tell you too." I whispered to her as she shrugged her shoulders.
I would have got more progress out of what I said telling it to one of the trees than her apparently, because she looked over at Murphy with a slight grin on her face. So she was ok with being held over a fire, interesting. Just when I thought I had see all the madness in this world… I find a whole new level of stupidity.
Wells turned around and looked at Bellamy who wasn't more than a foot from Wells and I. "You can stop this." Wells said to him softly.
"Stop this?" Bellamy questioned. "I'm just getting started."
Murphy had stood up punching Wells in the face right as Bellamy pulled me towards him. I'd have to thank him later from pulling me away from a nice solid black eye. I could tell he was looking at me. "Stop this, Bellamy." I said turning my attention back towards the two boys in front of me whom were fighting. The entire group seemed to start chanting and cheering for them to fight.
"It's not my place." Bellamy whispered. "No, clearly not." I said to him.
"Maybe we can get your new whore to stop the fight for you." I snapped at him causing him to turn me to face him. "You're jealous?" He asked confused.
"Really Bellamy… are you that stupid and thick headed." I told him before looking back at Wells and Murphy before storming off away from the fight.