CPOV
Malaysia was a total waste of my time and the plant manager who should have dealt with his incompetent staff is verbally flayed before I board the plane for Tokyo. I could have avoided this side trip altogether which meant I would have been able to spend Monday in my office with Ana. I might have been able to convince her to have dinner with me and therefore would have been able to keep working on building this…relationship we're starting.
Tokyo is glaring and obnoxious as usual. I have no idea how anyone lives here with the constant noise and glare of the ever present lights. The company we're acquiring and subsequently merging with another one of my subsidiaries is happy to have us here. There are still some details that need to be ironed out, mainly which upper management stays and which ones are redundant so each company courts us while we're here with over the top dinners and shows in between meetings and calls. All of the pomp is pointless, I already know what I'm going to do, I always do. That's why I'm in the mother fucking CEO.
I hate this type of shit, ass kissing isn't my forte as I prefer directness and persistence but I play along and offer obligatory conversations where necessary. Ros is in her element and I let her take the helm while we're here, happy to let her deal with the barrage of bullshit thrown our way.
I've spoken to Ana daily, sometimes more than once, and each time I feel a connection to her that I can't explain even though she's thousands of miles away. Her songlike voice gets me hot and horny but also seeps right into my brain and blankets me in a calm that I've never known. I'm left unsatisfied with just phone calls and for now, this has to be it but when I get back she'll be getting the latest computers and cell phones so that we can have video chats. I have to be able to see her whenever I want to.
Taylor is in my hotel room on Thursday morning, briefing me on the security details I need to know about and I am furious. I have at least three days left here and I feel the little control I had over my temper ebbing away with each minute that ticks by. I want to be back in Seattle with Ana's body pressed against mine, not in a $19k a night suite alone.
"Has a background check been done on this schmuck? How long have they known each other? Were they alone for long? Was he in the apartment or did he pick her up? Was Ms. Kavanagh there as well?" My nails are creating little crescent moons on my palms but the pain centers me and keeps me sharp. I smell competition and I. Am. Not. Happy.
"Sir, from what Sawyer could gather from his position, Mr. Rodriguez entered the apartment building at approximately 7pm and exited the apartment at approximately 10pm that same evening. I've ordered a full background check run on him but from the intel we can gather, covertly of course, we've determined that he and Ms. Steele have been friends for five years now and have never been linked romantically. I can't account for Ms. Kavanaghs whereabouts since there is no current surveillance on her."
"Not good enough, I want her apartment bugged, cameras and everything. If she's in there with a man alone, I want to ensure her safety." At least, that's what I tell myself but I'm not a fool and neither is Taylor. I want to make sure no one's taking what's mine.
"Sir, I urge you to rethink that directive. By all accounts Ms. Steele and Mr. Rodriguez's friendship has never been anything more than that and bugging her apartment would include breaking and entering as well as unlawful surveillance, stalking and harassment."
Well, fuck, I know that already. What I don't know is if Jose Rodriguez is touching what's mine. I've pushed and pushed to get these meetings and negotiations over with but we're still on schedule despite my aggressiveness. I'm already going out of my mind at the idea of her alone at the Coping Together event with Matt fucking Ryan and now I've got this shit to deal with.
"I want any future contact between the two of them closely monitored. If he's alone in the apartment with her, I want someone right outside the door. When it comes to her safety, there are to be no fuck ups."
"Sir."
The minute he walks out the door I drop to the floor and do pushups until my arms are burning and my lungs are on fire. The usual outlets for my tension, a hard fuck or a spar with Claude Bastille aren't available to me. I re-shower and get dressed but the damage is done and I take out my frustrations on anyone in my path.
When I arrive in my room later that night Taylor does his customary sweep before retiring for the evening. I've been anxious to speak to Ana all day and find out what happened between she and Jose. It's close to 11pm here which means it's nearly 7am Seattle time. She'll be up, I know she has an early call with a contact in the Taiwan office so after I shower and order room service I pick up my phone.
"Hello, Christian." Her voice alone is like a balm to my frenzied mind and I smile like an idiot.
"Good morning, Anastasia. I trust you had a nice evening?" Let's see how much digging I need to do to get the answers that I want. She has no idea Sawyer is watching her so I can't show her my hand but I need the reassurance that there is nothing going on with this Jose guy.
"I did, a friend came over and we had dinner and watched Anchorman for the hundredth time. What did you do all day?" Dinner and a movie. No.
"That sounds like a date. Did you cook?" If she cooked for this asshole I'm going to blow my top.
"Of course! We did an easy mushroom ravioli with pesto sauce and goat cheese. So good. Are you eating lots of sushi?"
We. She said we. Not I made, not he made, we. I have zero interest in talking about what I'm eating or what I'm doing during my days here.
"Was Kate there?"
She pauses and I'm pretty sure she finally gets what I'm going after. Her words are slower and careful now, she knows she's playing with fire.
"No, she and Elliot went out to dinner. I invited her since she's good friends with Jose as well but Elliot was introducing her to some of his friends and she couldn't back out. Are you ok, Christian?"
The buzzing in my ears is growing louder as I come to terms with MY Ana, alone, cooking and watching a movie, with a man who is not me.
"Christian?" she sounds pensive and baby, you should be. I'm about to go thermonuclear on you.
Room service is ringing the bell but I'm no longer hungry. I'm angry and tense with no way to release it. A verbal assault on Ana won't get me anywhere so I shut down on her and rush off the phone before I lash out.
"I need to go, my dinner is here. Have a good day, Ana. Send me an email with bullet points on the Taiwan call and cc Ros." I hear her begin to respond but I cut the call short, anything she says now will only piss me off more.
Taylor is in the hallway and gives me the nod to let me know that the waitress and trolley have passed his scan. Once the door shuts behind her she turns and faces me, her eyes zeroing in on mine. In one swift move she removes the hotel issued uniform leaving her naked except for her heels and only five feet away.
"Compliments of Mr. Yaoh, sir."
This isn't new to me, a lot of businesses use high end escorts to 'relax' their clients and this scenario has been put in front of me more times than I care to count. I'm not stupid enough to have ever used one of these women, I have iron clad control and I'm not one to give my competitors a leg up but this one, this one has come along at just the right time. I'm pissed, I'm losing control and I'm horny as fuck.
The problem though, is I'm not horny for her. There's only one woman who I want to have sex with right now and she's in Seattle, driving me crazy.
"Get your fucking clothes on and get the fuck out. Tell Mr. Yaoh that if he wants to do business with me, he'll never pull a bullshit stunt like this again." She's not used to being rejected and moves slowly, almost as if she can't believe it. I've turned away to take the dinner plate but she remains undressed, standing with her clothes by her side.
"Sir, it is for free and is confidential. I would never reveal what happens in this room."
"I said to get the fuck out and that is exactly what I meant. I'm in a...relationship." A small thrill runs through me when I use that word and suddenly I have to get her out of here NOW. I can't run the risk of someone using this as a way to keep Ana away from me. "Out, get out! You can get dressed in the hall, just get out!"
She stumbles as she walks towards the door and pulls the dress over her head before exiting. I want so badly to call Anastasia and tell her what just happened but relationship virgin or not, I know that's a stupid move. Instead I call her back and apologize for my hanging up on her and then launch into the day to day activities of my time here in Japan.
It takes all of four minutes before she brings up Jose Rodriguez again but her words ease my mind and excite my body.
"Christian, I think I know why you were so angry before. Maybe I'm wrong and if I am, I'm sorry but if it had anything to do with Jose being here, then I want to say something to you about that. Is that why you were so angry?"
"Yes. I don't like the idea of you unprotected, Ana. You have no sense of self-preservation!"
"Christian, Jose and I have been friends for five years, only ever friends. There has never ever been even a moment where I've thought we could be more than that. I've never even considered it. I'm only interested in one man right now and he's in Japan. So in the meantime, I'm having friends over for dinner and movies and I'm passing the time the best I can. Got it?"
My face hurts, it's splitting in two from this surely goofy grin on it.
"Got it, Ms. Steele. Thank you, you've made my night."
APOV
"Ana! Oh my God you look amazing!" I like Mia, I do, but sometimes she is just so loud.
"Hi Mia, thank you, you look great yourself." The entire front half of the tent is now looking this way. So much for being a wallflower tonight.
"Please tell me you've changed your mind about the auction. You just have to do it!"
"No, I haven't changed my mind and no, I'm not going to do it." She's relentless. Four times this week she sent me emails begging me to reconsider and even sent me a spreadsheet yesterday on the amount of money the auction has raised for the organization over the last four years. $238,450. My answer is still no. It'll be a cold day in hell before I agree to auction myself off in the name of charity.
"It's too bad Christian couldn't make it back, my mom said he would be in the air by now but he won't get back until tomorrow morning."
I know all of this already, when we spoke earlier today he expressed his annoyance at not being able to speed up things in Japan but according to his text four hours ago, they'd finally finished the deal and he and Ros were boarding the plane back. I place my clutch on the table and look at my phone again.
-Stay with my family, since you have no sense of self preservation, I've assigned them to watch you. I'll see you at brunch-
I've spent the week mulling over our conversation from last Sunday and while I'm sure he meant to give me some insight into his life, all he's done is create questions that I want answered. I did a quick online search of BDSM and quickly shut my computer off, what I was reading did nothing to calm the quiet panic that has rooted itself in the back of my mind.
Nothing I read has changed the fundamental desire I have for Christian though. If anything, this past week has magnified the enormous place he's come to occupy in my life. I spent my days as I did before meeting him; working, working out, visiting with friends, and reading but it still felt like I was missing something because I was. Him.
I debated coming tonight once I knew he would definitely not be here but the draw to be near his family, and by extension, him, was too strong so I kept my hair appointment and put on the beaded silver and silk evening gown Kate was letting me borrow. She and Elliot would be getting ready here so I was on my own to get here until Christian called to tell me that a limo was outside to bring me and that the same limo would be waiting to take me home when I was ready.
The driver introduced himself as nothing more than 'Sawyer' and informed me that he would be doubling as my protection for the night. I must have looked confused because he simply said, "Mr. Grey's orders" and began to drive.
In the back of the limo was a cold root beer, a Reeces cup, an envelope and a note.
Dear Ms. Steele,
Stick with the root beer, less of a hangover in the morning.
Please hand the envelope to my mother; it is my bid for your first dance since you refused the auction.
A decision, I must say that sits quite well with me.
I look forward to seeing you, not hung over, at our place for brunch tomorrow.
Christian
I read the note four times on the ride over and left him a voice mail, promising to stay sober and to maintain my refusal for the ridiculous auction. Sawyer is the first 'personal protection' I've ever had so I have no idea if he's doing his job or not, all I know is that he's shadowed me since we got here, occasionally speaking into his sleeve and sweeping the room every few minutes.
What exactly do I need protection from?
"Anastasia! Grace and I are so pleased that you were able to come tonight. You look lovely!" Carrick gives me a kiss on the cheek and I return the gesture. He's beaming when he looks up to see Grace heading our way.
"Ana! You look beautiful, it's too bad Christian couldn't make it back, I'm sure he's beside himself on the plane." She looks radiant and twenty years younger than her 59 years in an off the shoulder mint green gown.
"Thank you so much, you look gorgeous." I look around the elaborate tent, trimmed with hundreds of flowers and candles with a live band at one end and a table overflowing with expensive items up for silent auction at the other end. "I'm so grateful that you put me with your family, I hope I didn't kick anyone out of their spot!"
"Nonsense! There's always room for Christian's friend! Has anyone offered you a drink yet?"
"Oh, yes, I've got a vodka tonic right here. Before I forget, Christian asked that I give this to you in lieu of my participation in the dance auction. I'm sorry for my refusal but I'm so uncomfortable with the attention." I hand her the envelope and she slips it open as she laughs.
"No worries, dear. I would never want you to do anything that you weren't comfortable with. Oh my!" She's looking at what I now know is a check with a sticky note attached to it. I don't know what the note says but I can clearly see the number 2 with six zeros after it. Her eyes fill with tears and she looks at me like I'm the prodigal son but says nothing.
Kate and Elliot arrive at the table and he hands me a glass of water before kissing me hello. "Compliments of my brother." We both roll our eyes but neither of us can keep from laughing. "I see you've met your protection." He waves at Sawyer who nods and does another sweep of the tent.
"Yea, what's that about anyway?"
"Seriously, Steele? It's a spy in the disguise of 'protection'. He can't be here to see who talks to you so he's got someone reporting it all back to him, play by play." She's whispering and I'm hoping to god that no one heard her. Is she right? Is this all just to spy on me?
A number of business associates that I've met over the last few weeks come over to say hello and ask about Christian. Mia has reappeared with a few of her friends, all of them looking me up and down in a way that reminds me of high school and makes me want to disappear.
"Ana, these are some of my friends. They're all doing the auction. Lilly here made the most ever last year with $12k!" Lilly looks like she's chewing on a wasp, her big brown eyes looking at me like I'm scum before Grace comes to my rescue.
"Well, that is until this year. Christian sent two million dollars in for Ana's first dance! Isn't that amazing girls!" Lilly's mouth drops open and I fight the urge to push it shut. Must have been her father who won the bid, no one else would want anything to do with her. Wait, did she just say he gave two million dollars for the dance?
"Oh." Is all I can say. Oh? Oh, Ana? That's all you've got for a two million dollar payout to not dance with anyone!
I'm rescued by the MC who announces that dinner will be served shortly. Mia's friends glide over to their own table and she sits down next to me while Kate takes the seat on my other side.
"Two million dollars, Ana?" she leans over to whisper, disgust evident in her voice.
"Are you actually going to go up there, Kate?"
"Mmmhmm. I can't wait to see what Elliot will spend. He's got it, not like Christian but he's not hurting, that's for sure." This entire conversation is so strange to me, the wealthy will never make sense to me so I look forward and eat my salad in silence.
"Ana?" The rest of the table is off either dancing or socializing with the exception of Mia and Grandpa Trevelyan. I've been listening to him reciting memories of his grandkids as children, soaking up every little bit of insight I can get into Christian's life.
"Oh, Hi Matt. How are you?" He leans down to kiss my cheek and gestures to me.
"Wow, you look amazing. I wasn't sure you'd be here. You look stunning." I see Sawyer out of the corner of my eye speak into his sleeve and take a few steps towards us but the scowl I shoot him stops him in his tracks. He is here to spy!
"Thank you, you look very nice as well. Are you here with your teammates?"
"May I?" He pulls out Kate's abandoned chair and before I can say yes Mia jumps in and waves him down, clucking about getting herself one of his jerseys now that he's a Sea Hawk. He's gracious and offers to sign it for her and it's just enough attention that she sits back down pleased and satisfied for the moment.
"A few of us are here at the behest of our manager. Anything associated with the Grey family is a priority for the Hawks but Grace went to school with our GM so this particular charity is not one to miss if you want to stay in his good graces."
"How has it been, getting to know your new teammates and settling in to Seattle?"
We talk for a half hour or so, chatting about everything from the team to the places I've visited. He doesn't bring up Christian once, never even asks where he is which I find odd. He's nice, easy to talk to and funny, not at all the threat he was painted out to be and I relax until I see Sawyer standing less than 10 feet behind him.
The Grey's are making their way back to the table for both the first dance auction and the results of the silent auction so Matt stands and politely greets the family before turning back to me.
"Will you be participating in the dance?"
"Um, no."
"That's too bad, I was hoping to win." His dimples are really cute and he is very nice but I know that dancing with him would cause a major problem for Christian so I let him down as gently as I can.
"I'm not much of a dancer, you won't see me out there tonight!" I'm relieved when he leaves if for no other reason than that Sawyer moves back to the wall. Seriously, that shit has to stop.
When the auctions end and everyone is milling about I stand to go to the bathroom. Lilly only brought in $6k this year, her daddy must not be here. Before I can take four steps Sawyer is there, clearing a path for me so I grab his arm and turn him to face me, moving us over to the side.
"Hi. I know you're being paid to do a job and I appreciate that you're doing it well but I'm getting creeped out. I'm going to the bathroom, right over there. You can wait here. Unless Freddy Krueger is waiting in the toilet, I'll be fine."
"Yes, Ma'am." Oh for Christ's sake.
"Sawyer, I'm 22. Ana is fine."
I've just come out of the deluxe port a john, who knew those existed, when I hear her voice. Someone may as well have dumped a bucket of cold eels on my head, the disgust I feel is akin to what that must feel like.
"Hello Anastasia."
"Elena." I turn to go but she blocks my way, the move so well calculated that I now know she was waiting to corner me.
"I notice Christian isn't here tonight and yet, here you are, sitting with his family. How very…cozy." I say nothing because honestly, what is there to say?
"Look, we don't need to do this. You're not my biggest fan and frankly, you give me the creeps so if you don't mind, we can bypass the niceties and move on with our night." I try again to get past her but she's made it so that in order to pass her, I'd need to physically touch her. I'd rather not thankyouverymuch.
"The innocent look works for you. I can't for the life of me figure out how you learned about his weakness but I must say, you fit it to a T. So is it corporate espionage or are you just after his personal wealth?" His weakness? Espionage?
"OK, I've been polite, I've tried to remain calm but I really think you need to be evaluated by a professional. Get out of my way."
"Or what? You'll call Christian? Or maybe call for your security? Tell me, has he fucked you yet? Made you call him master? Or are you playing hard to get? A little advise, our Christian doesn't like to be told no so whatever your game is, get moving on it. A man like him isn't going to chase after a mousy thing like yourself for long."
"Get the fuck away from me you freak." Where the fuck is Sawyer?
She takes a step forward and lowers her voice.
"You took money right out of my pocket when you went to him directly. That pisses me off. You have nothing to offer him that he hasn't already had so go find some other man to leech off of."
I've hit my limit and good manners or not I push her out of the way and she stumbles in her six inch stilettos. I have no idea if she actually fell or not because I'm already standing in front of Sawyer, hand on my hip, eyes blazing and voice trembling.
"Where were you!?" He looks at me confused. I guess he would be, I did tell him to leave me alone and now I'm chastising him for….leaving me alone. "Ugh. Keep that woman," I turn and point to a now scowling Elena, "away from me."
"Did she harm you?" Sawyer is beginning to trek over to her while he talks into his sleeve again, pausing just in front of her shocked form. I turn and sit down at the table and a few minutes later hear my phone buzzing in my bag. It's Christian. I hit ignore and shut it off before I have a nervous breakdown.
The rest of the evening passes in relative calm, Elena has disappeared and Matt Ryan has gotten the hint. He's not hurting for attention, that's for sure. I've counted no less than five girls dancing with him throughout the night, one of them being Lilly. I should warn him.
The ride home from the event last night was interesting. I asked Sawyer, after I demanded that he allow me to drive up front with him, what happened with Elena. He just smiled and kept driving so I played the part of annoying nagging woman until he relented. I'm pretty sure he has a little sister because as soon as I started whining, he spilled it all like drunken hooker.
"Mr. Grey was informed that there had been an altercation between the two of you and asked that I remove her immediately and then see that you weren't affected in any way. He tried calling you himself but he was unable to gain access to you." No shit. I turned my phone off and still haven't turned it back on.
There were five messages on the house line and four of them were from Christian. One was from Kate looking for me because Christian had called her and couldn't get a hold of me. I assured her I was home, fine and in bed and told her I'd see her for brunch. I needed a good night's sleep because after a week away and the altercation from last night, I plan to look damn good in the morning.
I'm not nervous when Elliot picks me up for brunch, I figure outside of Christian admitting that he and that dragon slept together, I already know the worst. I'm holding onto the slim hope that I'm wrong about that but I know better.
"Whoa, you're out for blood this morning, huh?" Kate looks appreciatively at my super fitted sleeveless sheath dress and knee high stiletto boots. I've left my hair down and wild. I'm a novice at seduction but I have zero doubt Christian will like this look. I've agreed to attend an early afternoon fundraiser for one of GEH's subsidiaries under the directive that I'll need to be at the studio to teach my 4pm class. I had tried to find a substitute but after last night, I'm glad to have a reason to cut today short. I have every intention of asking about dragon lady and I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to cut out once I do.
Christian is there when we arrive and the sight of him alone at the table dulls my anger, he's pensive and looks at me and me alone. My god he's hot.
"Hello, Ana." I'm mad at him for the bodyguard, I'm mad at him for Elena, and if I'm really honest with myself, I'm mad that he didn't show up last night. But the minute he touches me and says my name I care about one thing; Christian Grey is hugging me and happy to see me.
"Hi, Christian. I missed you last night." He looks surprised and in a stunning moment of clarity I see him not as a big time CEO or the sexiest man alive but as a scared and lonely little boy who doesn't see his own value. It pains me to my core.
"You did?"
"Yes, we all did but some of us more than others." I give him a grin and sit down while he shakes Elliot's hand and kisses Kate hello.
"I've ordered the usual for all of us, Ana and I have the fundraiser to get to. I hope you don't mind." He's speaking to the whole table but his eyes are only for me.
It feels strange to be alone with him after a week apart. He gives me a smile and reaches over to squeeze my knee.
"Don't over think it, Ana."
"Well, Christian, actually I'm going to." He's surprised by my response. I bet nobody challenges him.
"A bodyguard? At your parents' house? Do you think I'm weak?"
"No."
"Stupid?"
"No."
"Dependent?"
"No."
"Then don't hire people, without my approval, who send me those messages."
"Ana, Sawyer was hired to keep you safe from men like Jack Hyde. He also was hired to make sure you got to and from the event safely since your track record for drinking to excess isn't exactly stellar."
I cannot believe him. And wait a hot minute!
"When did you hire Sawyer?" His silence is all I need to know. "That's why you were so angry about Jose, you already knew he'd been to visit me, you just couldn't tell me that you knew. Holy fucking shit, Christian!"
He's pulled over into the parking lot of some record store and turns to face me. Tread lightly, grey eyes because you are about to meet my inner bitch.
"Anastasia, you were being stalked. He was calling you and pursuing you aggressively and his behavior was escalating. It would have been the height of stupidity to not have someone maintaining your protection. You may think you're capable of fending off an attack by a full grown man but I can assure you that you are not. If something had happened to you after knowing what was going on with him, I'd never forgive myself."
"Pull him off of me. I won't be followed and I certainly won't have someone reporting my every move to you or to anyone else. End his employment now, here's your phone." The muscles in his jaw are hard and round, ticking away with his heartbeat.
"No." I gasp at his audacity and pinch the bridge of my nose. "As long as there are men like Hyde around, Sawyer will be around. You can fight me all you want but that's the way it's going to be."
"Christian! We're not even together! I don't even know what we are, which is a whole other conversation for a later date but what right do you have to hire someone to report to you my movements?"
The wheels in his head are turning and he sits for a full on minute before answering me.
"I like you, Ana. I want to be with you and I want you to be with me which is a goal I'm actively pursuing. Your well-being and your safety are priorities to me, little else matters." Well that tells me everything and nothing.
"We're going to be late if you don't start driving."
"I don't give a fuck. I'll start driving when you acquiesce to protection and drop your petulant attitude."
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?
"Take me home." His eyes are wide and filled with what appears to be wonder. He's crazy! Absolutely crazy!
"We said we'd attend the fundraiser, you're going there, not home." He begins to drive and I silently cheer. Score one for women everywhere! I got him to do what I wanted, I win! I win! My pride is short lived however; we still need to talk about Jose. And dragon.
"While we're discussing your own stalker issues," the irony of him protecting me from a stalker is not lost on me, "I want to talk about my friendship with Jose."
"Now? You want to do this now? We're five minutes away."
"Well, I don't want to talk about it as much as say something. Jose is like family to me. I have no siblings, half a mother and two cousins whom I barely see. My father lives over two hours away. I have known him since the first day of college and not once in the last five years has he ever been inappropriate nor has he made any advances on me. He is one of my best friends, right up there with Kate and I'm going to see him for dinner occasionally. If you can't handle that, then I don't know what else to tell you. I have no interest in him outside of our friendship, which I've never had to defend before and I don't plan on doing every time we hang out together."
"He's a guy, Ana. He wants in your panties. They all do."
"So do you, Christian. Should I be leery of you then?" His answer shocks me, actually jolts me in my seat.
"Yes. You should. You should run as far from me as you can but you won't because you know as well as I do that you and I are meant to be together. I'll give this Jose character the benefit of the doubt but the second he fucks up, I'm going to lay him out."
"I should run from you?" my voice is sad and low, he's saying the very same thing I'm feeling. We've arrived at the conservatory and the valet opens our doors, all but ending the conversation. A new surge of confusion washes over me but I've got no time to think about it. Our hosts are on their way over, champagne in hand. I happily take the flute and drink it all with my eyes locked on his, daring him to protest.
"Mr. Grey, Anastasia, we're so glad you could make it! Ana, you looked radiant at the event last night, just stunning. You should have been there, Mr. Grey, she could barely fend off all of the men lined up to dance with her."
His eyebrows peak up and that finger begins to rub across his lips again. I had forgotten just how good looking he was. When they walk away he takes my arm and drags me to the side of the building ignoring the small group of people who are waiting to speak with him and pushes me hard against the brick, boxing me in with his hands flat on either side of my head.
"What are they talking about, Anastasia? What dances? Who touched you?" His growl should scare me but it turns me on instantly.
"I didn't dance with anyone except your Dad and your grandfather. Yes, I was asked but I knew you'd be furious so I declined even though, I'd like to remind you, you don't own me, not even after a two million dollar donation. The only person who touched me last night, was Elena."
His head snaps back but he doesn't move.
"Elena touched you?"
"Well, no, technically I touched her when I pushed her to get her away from me."
It's hard to think when he's this close and pulling his alpha male routine. I hate that it turns me on but the moisture in my panties is hard to ignore.
"You pushed her?"
"I had to! She had me cornered." I can't take another second of this and I grab his hips and pull him against me, tipping up my face for him to kiss. Instead of the demanding harshness of our last kiss, this one is searing, burning me from the inside out.
I run my tongue along the seam of his mouth and he groans, opening enough for me to claim him, pushing my lips into his and touching my tongue to his until he breaks free and peppers my jaw with small kisses, making his way to my collarbone. He licks it, one long wet lick from the hollow of my neck up to my shoulder before he stops and pulls back.
"You have no idea how much I want you, no idea what you do to me. If we don't stop, I'm going to take you against this wall right now and then I will own you."
I give him a shy smile and a small shake of my head.
"No one but me will ever own me, Mr. Grey. Capito?"
He smiles back and shakes his head in answer to mine.
"We'll see, Ms. Steele. You should know that I never back down from a challenge."
CPOV
"I don't care if you need to physically remove her, get her the fuck away from Ana!" If I was any more pissed, I'd be on fire. Sawyer has been keeping me abreast on Ana's movements all week and tonight is no exception. I wasn't happy when he reported Matt fucking Ryan was sitting at the table chatting her up but that fury is nothing compared to what I'm feeling now.
Elena wasn't even on my radar for this event, it didn't even occur to me that she'd be there alone with Anastasia. I thought I'd made it perfectly clear that she was to stay away from her but I should have known better, Elena doesn't take orders from anyone.
Taylor knocks on the office door to remind me that phones are not allowed on the plane but I don't give a flying fuck. For $53 million dollars you'd think they could work around that issue, I have to know what's going on right now.
By midnight Ana is home and my blood pressure has returned to normal. Sawyer insists that she's fine, a bit animated but otherwise fine so I finish off my brandy and try to sleep a bit.
We land a few hours later and I've got just enough time to go to Escala and shower before meeting for brunch. I'm looking forward to seeing my girl and to spending some time with her at the garden fundraiser today. Usually I have Andrea rsvp a quick fuck no to these type of events but Ana insisted that we go to show our support and what my girl wants, my girl gets. I believe this is what's referred to as pussy whipped, except in this case, there is no pussy. Yet.
She is smoking hot in that dress and damn if those boots don't scream 'fuck me'. I'm momentarily thrown off when she greets me sweetly, I was expecting her to rip into me about last night but yet again, Anastasia surprises me. The calm she exudes during brunch is quickly replaced with anger and I don't stand a chance when she starts in on me about Sawyer.
Until she demands that I fire him. That would be a huge fuck no. If she thinks having him around is an inconvenience, wait until word gets out that we're together. I won't need someone to report her whereabouts to me then, the paparazzi will take care of that for me.
I'm willing to give Jose the benefit of the doubt for no other reason than that I don't want to fight about it with her. Admittedly it does say something that for five years he hasn't made an attempt at being with her. Maybe he's gay.
I hide my own personal warning in our conversation as well as I can but it doesn't go unheard. I watch her face fall, that sweet bottom lip getting sucked between her teeth and a shiver of fear runs though my gut. I've done a good job at hiding who I was all of these years but I can't hide from her. Better she hears it all from me instead of a tabloid or fucking Elena.
I'm impressed with the control I've been able to exert over myself during our conversations about Sawyer and Jose. I don't feel like we accomplished anything but I was able to control the beast inside who wanted to thrash about and scream like a maniac. So when Arielle Covington mentions Ana dancing with men at the Coping Together event, I'm completely blindsided. Where the fuck was Sawyer?
The minute I can get away with it I corner her, trap her in with my body so she has nowhere to go and no way to avoid my eyes. The tension that was ebbing away once she explained that she only danced with my family immediately returns with a vengeance when she tosses out that Elena touched her. Elena. Touched. Ana. Elena touched Ana. No. No. No. No.
"Well, no, technically I touched her when I pushed her to get her away from me."
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Ana pushing off the 'vile creature' as she so aptly named Elena when I feel her hands pull at my waist and then a flood of lust flows through me as her tongue traces my mouth. Yes, this is exactly what I need right now. Oh fuck can this woman kiss. Her lithe little body molds perfectly to mine and I'm thisclose to lifting up her dress and taking her against the wall but I reign myself in. One last lick of that collarbone that's been taunting me all afternoon and I pull away, discreetly adjusting the tent in my pants before we rejoin the party. Soon, I need to fuck her soon.
I watch in awe as she mingles with the crowd, charming men and women alike with her wit and kindness. I stand in amazement of her as she carries on a conversation with an art buyer from Moscow. I can tell by his expression that he's impressed with her grasp of his native language and before I know it she's walking him over to Arielle to help him purchase one of her garden sculptures. I'm still trying to tamper down the hard on I've got from listening to her speak Russian when she drops the bomb.
"Christian," she takes a sip of her cranberry spritzer and smiles sweetly at me. Oh shit. "Who is Elena to you?"
My gut drops to my feet and the dread I've been carrying around comes to the surface, drying my mouth and thickening my throat. Her look gives nothing away but I know that she knows. She may not know the extent, but she knows enough. Fuck.
"That's a conversation to have privately, I'm not really even sure where to start." Get me out of here, now.
"Start with, when was the last time you and she…slept together." Oh my god.
"Over seven years ago." I quickly decide that I will only answer her questions, I won't elaborate or expound on them until we're alone in a controlled environment because I know she's going to go postal when I tell her the true nature of mine and Elena's relationship.
"Seven years ago. So you were 21. Which means she was how old?" Shit!
"40."
"I think we should go." I couldn't agree more.
We say nothing in the car, she stares out the window but I can feel the disappointment radiating off of her. My mind races with plausible explanations to soften the blow but the truth is, there is no way to make this any less terrible than it already is.
"Escala?"
"Fine. You'll have Taylor take me to my class?"
"Or I can take you."
"Right." She looks out the window the entire drive back.
Mrs. Jones is home by the time we get into the penthouse and I have never been more grateful for her presence than I am right now. I introduce them and as much as I'm not looking forward to this conversation, the look on Gail's face when I introduced Anastasia as 'my friend' was almost worth the anxiety. Gail has met a few of my submissives but I've only ever introduced them in the most formal of terms. 'Mrs. Jones, this is Ms. Lawrence.' She and Ana chat for a few minutes while I stand by, useless in the face of female interaction and fascinated with the way Ana can relate to everyone on a personal level.
"Will you be having dinner here, Mr. Grey?"
"No, I'll be going to my parents tonight. Thank you, Mrs. Jones. I'll see you in the morning." Once she shuts the door to her quarters I reach into the duffel bag on the breakfast stool and turn to her.
"I brought you something back from Japan." Maybe this will help. Every woman I have ever known has wanted me to buy her things, the more expensive the better. I enjoy watching her study the solid jade chopstick set, the way her fingers run over the pure gold letters makes the giving that much better.
"Your jealousy of all things sushi while I was there inspired this gift. Each set has a Japanese Proverb inscribed in gold."
"They're beautiful, thank you so much for thinking of me." She looks surprised and touched. I'm beaming.
"Can I get you a drink? Iced tea? I had Mrs. Jones make it unsweetened for you."
"That sounds great, thank you." I use the minute it takes to get her drink to gather my wits. This is going to be bad, I know it.
"Can we drink these on the balcony?" Perfect, I can throw myself over the side when you walk away from me in disgust. I've been out here a total of two times since I moved in but Mrs. Jones keeps it pristine anyway. I sit down and she sits opposite of me, a small drink table between us. Her boots are distracting so I look ahead and through the glass wall at the view of Seattle. This is not the time for an erection.
"Why are you still friends with her? Are you friends with all of your…exes?" So much for easing into it.
"I'm a silent partner in her salon business. She owns the Esclava salons and spas which I helped her to finance. I don't have exes, Ana. She was never a girlfriend, neither was anyone else."
"How does a 21 year old wind up in the bed of a 40 year old? How long were you two…sleeping together?" Here we go. I take a deep breath and a sip of my iced tea.
"Elena and I were sleeping together for six years." Her eyes all but bug out of her head, the green as dark as moss and filled with disgust.
"If you last slept with her at 21 and you were sleeping with her for six years, then you were 15 when you started? And she was 34?" I run my hands in my hair, this is just the beginning of the ugliness.
"Yes."
"Christian are you going to be forthcoming at all or are you going to make me ask every question?" She's pissed and way too smart for me.
"When I was 15 I did some yard work for her over the summer. She seduced me on the second day and it was she who taught me about BDSM and the lifestyle that comes along with it." Her hand flies to her mouth in disbelief at my revelation but she presses on, the color drained from her face.
"A 34 year old woman seduced a 15 year old boy and taught him a sexual lifestyle based on an unfair balance of power? That's not seduction, Christian, that's molestation. She's a pedophile and you're a victim. Oh my god." It's Flynn all over again.
"No, it wasn't like that, Ana. I was out of control, drinking, fighting, disrespectful, failing in school, you name it. I hadn't let anyone touch me in 11 years and I was desperate for affection but had no way of getting it until she came along. She taught me how to control my emotions and my actions by using sex as an incentive. She made being touched, in a controlled and safe environment tolerable. Within weeks I was getting good grades, I'd stopped fighting and drinking, I was doing well. She helped me, Ana."
"No, she didn't, Christian! You mean to tell me that if you had gone to Grace and told her that you needed affection and wanted help in finding a way to attain it that she would have denied you? Or your dad? Did Elena encourage that or just tell you to take your clothes off? She used you, abused you and controlled you! And she's still in your life!"
I'd never thought about asking my parents for help, I was so convinced that I was a colossal disappointment that I wanted to avoid anything that they might interpret as weakness. Did Elena ever encourage communication with my parents? No, actually, just the opposite is true.
"Wait, how did you meet her?" This just gets better and better.
"She and my mother are friends." She jumps up and paces the balcony, her hands covering her mouth until she swings around and looks at me.
"Your mother doesn't know?"
"Of course not!"
"So the woman who molested you is still friends with your mother? Oh my god, Christian! Do you see how fucked up that is?" I'd never thought about it in regards to my mother and I answer slowly as a sick feeling spreads throughout my body.
"Yes, I do now. I had never thought about it."
"You really think what she did was ok? That in no way was it a detriment to your life? Before you answer, I want you to imagine that it was Mia at 15 and the man who seduced her was 34. We'll leave out the violent and unbalanced sexual lifestyle for now."
"It's not about violence."
"Answer the question."
"It wasn't like that, I was out of control and she totally changed that. BDSM is not about violence."
"No, you had the tools to do it yourself, she just manipulated and used you. Now answer the question." Fuck! I don't want to talk about this. "If it were Mia, how would you feel about what happened?" Untold minutes tick by but she just stands there waiting for my answer while I try to justify what Elena and I did.
"I'd be pissed as hell, yes it was wrong, yes it was a detriment! Is that what you're after, Ana? I mean, fuck!" I go inside and shut myself in my office. Of the many fantasies I'd had of coming home from my trip to reunite with Anastasia, this was not on the list. In the many years of therapy since Elena and I ended things I had never thought about what we did as much as I had today.
I have no idea how long I'm in there staring out the window at the street below but a small knock on the door pulls me out of my isolation.
"Christian?"
Oh come on. She's back in those fucking yoga pants again but thank god for small miracles, her shirt is loose and hides a bit of her frame. I say nothing and she walks towards me slowly until she's standing next to my desk, her hand resting lightly on top of the polished walnut.
"My girlfriend is downstairs to bring me to class, I didn't think you'd want to take me right now and I don't know how to get in touch with Taylor. I'm sorry for the way the afternoon went, it wasn't my intention to upset you but your revelation was a shock to me. I just wanted to come in here before I left and make sure that you know it's not you whom my disgust is for. That woman is a master manipulator, a fraud and a worst of all, a pedophile. You were a victim whether you choose to see it that way or not."
She moves a step closer and her soft hand strokes my cheek, the ball of emotion lodged in my throat threatening to burst.
"You're a good man, Christian Grey." The tenderness of her touch coupled with her softly spoken words cut right through me. I stand still and say nothing, I can't. If I open my mouth I will cry for the first time in 19 years.
When she turns to go I reach my hand out towards her but her back is turned and she shuts the door behind her and I'm alone once again.
*Capito translates into 'got it' or 'understand' in Italian