Speculation for the behind the scenes picture with Kensi and Granger for ep 7x09.
Her blood boiled, threatening to spill every feeling of rage, disappointment, and hurt out of her lips and into his ears. But he wasn't even close enough to hear the whispers she was sure were tumbling out of her mouth, all one word that summed up every question she had for him. Why.
Why did he think he had to run? Why didn't he tell her? Why didn't he trust her? Why was his gun still raised at them, and why was she doing the same?
Granger must have felt her turmoil from his position at her side. He placed a hand on her pistol, breaking the tension-laced moment between herself and her partner. Lover. Everything. Deeks lowered his gun as well, though neither of them holstered their weapons. Why? She couldn't explain that either.
"Don't make this harder than it already is, Detective." Granger's voice was gruff but sad all the same. Just like everyone else, Deeks had managed to worm his way into the old man's heart.
Kensi still couldn't speak. She still only had the one word on her lips.
"It's not true, Granger," Deeks pleaded, his worry lines on his face more visible than ever before. "Just me find her and I'll turn myself in. She'll tell them the truth."
He should have told her that he knew all along why the LAPD was investigating him. He should have told her that he helped someone that couldn't help themselves, even if it was the wrong thing to do. He should have known that she loved him enough to understand.
Granger shook his head. "You won't find her."
Defeat washed over her partner's face. His shoulders slumped, his face crumpled, and she knew that he understood. The one person to corroborate his story was dead. Kensi managed to make her voice work again, but she was less worried about the whys as she was just a few minutes ago. Answers could wait. She just needed him to quit fighting. "Please, Deeks."
He nodded slowly, releasing the magazine from his gun and ejecting the bullet in the chamber. Climbing off of his choice of shelter, Hetty's yacht, he walked towards them and placed his weapon in her shaky hands. "I guess it's only fair," he said. "I had to bring you in when I didn't want to. When you'd done nothing wrong."
But he wasn't innocent, not in her eyes. Deeks may not be a killer, but he was guilty of many other things. Kensi bit her lip and straightened her back, putting on the bravest face she could muster. Anything to hide the truth. He should be familiar with that concept. "Things are a lot different now," she said. Her face may have been strong, but her voice wasn't.
"I know." Deeks blinked, and she saw what she needed to see in his eyes - remorse. It would hurt like hell, but they would come back from this somehow, she knew. They had to. "And I'm sorry."