APOV
By the time I finish brushing my teeth and washing my face my nerves are shot. I had the rest of the night so well planned but now it all seems so stupid. Freaking Carrick! The apartment is dark and quiet when I go to look for Christian, only the moonlight streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows sheds any light. I feel like an intruder, not because he's made me feel that way but because the place he lives in is cold and hollow, only his bedroom and the library have any warmth in them. It's only 11 and I can't imagine that he's gone to bed already so I muster as much courage as I can and knock on his bedroom door. He doesn't answer. Taking my chances I push it open only to hear the shower and see a sliver of light from the bathroom where the door isn't quite closed.
I'm relieved for some reason, maybe I'm not ready to do this. Or is it just the lingering and oppressing fear of rejection and inadequacy that stay with me no matter how hard I try to rid myself of them? Logically I knew he hadn't left just as I know he'll come to find me if I leave this room but those ugly feelings override logic every single time.
The bed is turned down as if this was a hotel and I walk over to the closet where he's thrown the white button down he had on earlier. It smells of him and when I close my eyes and inhale, a distant pulse begins to beat in my womb. The water turns off and I bolt from the room, dropping the shirt where it was and closing the door silently behind me only to curse at myself in the hall.
Quietly shutting the door to my room I sit on the edge of the bed and think over all of the things he's shared with me over the past few weeks. Could I do this? Could I give myself to a man who has only known harshness and control in his physical relationships? Would he expect that from me if I went to him tonight? Would I be able to hold onto him or would he tire of me and leave me gutted and destroyed?
The muted sound of the piano draws me out of my thoughts, the tune haunting, sad even, but I'm drawn to it because I know it's him. I'm afraid of the feelings I have for this man, of the pieces of myself I've handed over to him so willingly and of how vulnerable I've allowed myself to be already. Can I give him the rest of me? The hidden places of my heart that I've tried so hard to hide so that no one could hurt me? Yes, I can.
I want him. Plain and simple lust born out of instinct and attraction to not only his body but to his heart. I want all of him and I want it tonight.
Christian had let me into his tiny inner circle despite the extreme caution he took with everyone else and he'd shown me his secret. Not the one about the sex or the abuse or the subs but the one about his heart. Fragile, hurting, painfully beating and mine. The first night we spent together I knew in my subconscious that he was mine, it was an intimacy born of the soul that I couldn't deny even if I couldn't understand it. This man, this extraordinarily wealthy and powerful man, more physically perfect than should be allowed, is hurting and needs protection and damn it, I'm going to be the one to do it.
This is uncharted territory for me, that of seductress. I'm not one for romance novels or movies and I look at myself in the mirror and pull my hair from the ponytail before I dab a bit of gloss on my lips and try desperately to calm my heart rate down. Go to him.
The music grows louder as I walk down the hallway and when I round the corner, he's there in the moonlight wearing nothing more than his drawstring pajama bottoms while his fingers expertly dance over the keys.
I flick on the kitchen light so that he knows I'm here before I lose my nerve and he glances over, a brief hiccup in his playing as he looks me up and down. The cream satin tank and short pajama set is as far from leather and chains as possible but he doesn't take his eyes off of me the entire time so I can only assume that he likes it. I fill the kettle and put it on as he plays the same sad melody over and over and even after I've filled a mug and walked it over to him he doesn't take his eyes off of me.
He raises his brows, indicating that I should put it on the coffee table and then motions with his head for me to sit next to him on the bench. God he smells so good, spice and body wash and something distinctly Christian. Where our arms and legs are touching there's a heat, an electric current that rushes through my entire body. He stops playing, flexing and stretching his fingers over the keys as if to shake off the current that I know he feels too.
"Hi. I'm sorry for waking you." His voice is soft and gentle as he looks at the keys in front of him.
"I was awake anyway, I looked for you but you were in the shower." He seems a bit surprised but also pleased. "You play so well, when did you start learning?" He sighs as if remembering a painful memory and my heart is heavy with the sadness he carries within him.
"I was six, my mom played and I wanted to make her happy so I started lessons. It's turned into something more for me though, a way to process my thoughts without having to think."
"I know exactly what you mean, music to me is almost spiritual, it speaks to me more than any words can." He smiles then but doesn't turn to me.
"What was it that you were playing before?"
"One Last Wish."
"It was beautiful but sad. Do you know anything happy?" I tease and he immediately plays a lively version of 'The Entertainer'. I giggle at the ridiculousness of the song after the somber mood of the one he was just playing.
"God I love that sound." His eyes close as his fingers fall from the keys to his knees.
"What? The Entertainer?"
"No, your laugh. It's become my favorite sound." He looks at me then, turning his body slightly so that he can rest his hand on the bench behind me. I can feel the creep of the blush on my neck and my eyes settle on his which are staring at the low dip of the satin top.
"Oh." He looks at me then and the savage lust I see sets the pulse I felt earlier on fire. My mind races to say something, anything. "I made you tea. Chamomile. I thought it might help you sleep."
"I don't want tea, Anastasia. I want you." Oh my. His hand brushes a few strands of hair behind my ear and then rests on top of mine in my lap. "All of you, you're all I think about."
"Christian," is all I get out before he leans in to kiss me, pressing his lips to mine, the hand behind me running the length of my back to tangle in my hair. His mouth moves against mine, his tongue stroking mine before he bites my bottom lip, the tug only just not painful. I lean into him, holding onto his well-developed arms, the muscles shivering under my hands while his moan vibrates against my tongue sending liquid rushing to my sex.
"Christian," I say again but he grunts and lifts me onto his lap holding me closer against him and I let go of all of my hesitations, all logic, all thoughts. It's just me and this man. His hand skates over my shoulder and cups my breast, his breath catching just as mine does at the contact. Rhythmically he rubs his thumb over my nipple, kissing my jaw, my ears, and the column of my neck until he buries his face in my hair and gently bites the top of my shoulder.
"Ana." he whispers against my skin.
Every place his lips touch burns me from the inside out, the fire coursing through my body looking for a way out before it consumes me. I need more, I need to be closer to him and I lift myself up and straddle him, my legs dangling off the back of the bench on either side of him.
His eyes are dark grey, stormy and feral and for a moment I can see his struggle to leash the desire he has for me before he gives up the fight and growls, pulling my hips against his, his erection hitting my belly and the junction of my thighs. Oh shit, oh god.
"Fuck" he moans as he kisses me again and grinds into me. "You are so sexy, Ana. So unbelievably sexy. I want you so much." I can't speak, words seem to have escaped me so I respond by kissing his cheeks, the corners of his mouth, shyly leaving kisses across his jaw and onto his neck. When I lick up and bite his earlobe his hands grip me so tightly it hurts and he pushes himself harshly against me. "Fuck!"
Clothes, too many clothes. As if he can read my mind he lifts the hem of my shirt, a small raise of his eyebrows seeking my permission. I just lift my arms and feel the satin glide over my skin until the chill of the air hits my nakedness.
"Oh, God, Ana. Perfect, so perfect." His hands immediately knead my breasts, both of his thumbs stroking my nipples at a slow torturous pace. I need him, I don't know how or exactly what it is I need but I know he's the only one who can give it to me.
We're kissing harshly, demanding and still his thumbs don't stop until he tugs and pinches what are now rock hard nipples. "Oh!" He kisses me again down my neck, licking my collarbone and suddenly I feel his wet tongue flick over the pebbled flesh and I inhale sharply. Over and over he laves me, lashing me until he sucks me in deep, rasping the sensitive bud with his teeth. "Ah! Oh god!" His large hand is holding my back so that I can't move and I can only absorb the pleasure coursing through me.
"So fucking hot." He whispers again as he kisses his way to my other breast, my sex rubbing against the hardness between his legs. He's licking, biting, sucking, twisting, pulling and suddenly the ache of desire in my belly reaches a fever pitch. The hardness between his legs grinds against the softness between mine, each movement in unison with his mouth.
"Christian, Christian, Christian!" What is happening? Oh fuck I want more, I need more but I'm afraid, the sensations overwhelming and frightening in their intensity. There's a darkness swirling in me, twisting tighter and tighter.
"Shhh, it's ok baby, let it go, give it to me. Come for me, Ana." And I do, the feel of his tongue, the nip of his teeth, the heat of his breath, the pinch of his fingers the thrust of his hips is all too much and the dark coil unfurls, whipping wildly inside of me, shattering and fragmenting me.
"Christian!" I scream but his hand holds me steady even though I can feel his body tense against mine and in that moment of physical splintering, I know that I am his. I fall limply against his naked chest and lay my head on his shoulder while he strokes my back softly. So that's the big deal.
I can't stop the giggle that bubbles up and he pulls back to look at me, "What's so funny?"
I can only cradle his face in my hands and shake my head.
"Nothing, I just, I've never…what was that? I mean, I know what it was but holy shit!" and I giggle again like a school girl. His expression goes from incredulous to satisfied in less than a second.
"Ana, have you never made yourself come? For real? I thought you were joking." I shake my head and he kisses me again running his hands over the top of my thighs, his thumbs dangerously close to my slick sex. His eyes get impossibly dark with intensity with my revelation. There is nothing playful about his mood, this is Christian Grey, full blooded alpha male. My wetness increases with his words.
"I want you, Ana, I need you. Please let me make love to you." His voice is hoarse, strained, and it vibrates over my skin, awakening me to different sensations. His lips find mine again when I feel his hands slip under the hem of my shorts. One of his thumbs runs up my seam, the other following in its wake. Over and over he runs over me, the moisture seeping through my panties and onto his thumbs.
"Oh god." I'm floating again, that deep ache beginning to throb again. I pull away and look into his eyes.
"Please." he says again and I realize I never answered him.
"Yes." His fingers stop and he blinks.
"Yes?"
"Yes, I want you, Christian." He stands hastily, holding me firmly against his waist by my ass as he all but sprints to his bedroom. We're panting, kissing and touching when he stands me at the foot of the bed and I can't resist running my hand down his face.
"Here?"
"Here? What do you mean?" He asks in between kisses and nips to my neck and ear as he unties the satin bow on my shorts.
"You said you didn't have sex in your bed." Just tell me I'm different, I need to hear it.
He pulls away, a shocked look on his face. "Ana, I want you in here, only you. I want you everywhere, only you. I want nothing between us, no rules, no limits, no barriers. You and me." I'd cry but he kisses me again grabbing my ass and backing me up to the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees as he licks between my breasts.
His teeth nip my hips and his tongue licks from one side to the other, circling my navel while his hands pull down my shorts. He kisses me, right there and then inhales, his nose applying a delicious pressure where I want it most.
"You smell so good, Anastasia. Intoxicating. So fucking good." He inhales again and then gently lifts me onto the bed where he looms over me and hooks his fingers in the waist of my panties pulling them down my legs and leaving me exposed and totally naked to him. I want to cover myself but I don't and he runs his hands up and down my calves staring unabashedly at my body.
"You are a mighty fine sight, Ana. I can't wait to be inside of you." He leans down again and wraps one arm around me, sliding me up the bed until my head is on the pillow. "Beautiful, so, so beautiful." His lips whisper over mine as his hands touch me everywhere except where I want them the most.
I look at him then, really look at him and my heart skips a beat at what I see. Undiluted affection, love and a fierce dedication stare back at me and he blinks in an attempt to calm the intensity he knows is there. I know he wants me, the thick rope of pulsing flesh against my thigh is evidence of that. But in this look he communicates the things his voice and body can't. The ache grows deeper and desperate, a chaotic frenzy tearing through me in search of the calm only he can bring.
I take a deep breath and let go, the last hidden spot of my heart opening to him and I cup his cheek, leaning up to kiss him softly.
I love him.
Above me his weight shifts, nudging my knees apart and with lightning speed he whips his pants off and...holy shit! There is no way that's fitting inside of me. The fear must register on my face because he gives me a sly grin.
"Don't worry baby, we'll go slow. I don't want to hurt you." Like a cat on the prowl he stretches himself over me so that every inch of our skin is touching. "I've wanted you since the moment I saw you, Ana. Even then I craved you." He growls and pushes his erection against my leg, looking for contact to hold him over until he can push inside of me.
I lift my leg to accommodate him and wrap it around his hip, running my foot over the back of his thigh. He closes his eyes and kisses me again, his hand drifting over the curves of my body until he's at my knee. He lifts it and pulls me open further and then slides his hand up, cupping my sex, liquid fire filling his palm as he applies gentle pressure. "Ah!" The contact propels me forward in my frenzy so that I lift my hips, desperate for the friction of his touch and I pant in his ear.
"Christian, please."
"Shhh, baby. Soon, I want to make sure you're ready." A long finger runs the length of my slit, opening me up to him and he gently taps my clit, the sensation so profound that I buck up against him and cry out. I'm dripping wet and he moans in appreciation. "You're so wet for me, all for me." His voice is gravely and hoarse, the strain of lust in it fueling my own fire.
My body arches against his and he sucks a nipple into his mouth as he slides a finger inside of me, "Ah! Oh, please, please, Christian." His tongue is circling my nipple with the same precision and rhythm of his thumb on my clit and I'm whimpering, my head rolling back and forth, my fingers tangled in his hair.
Slowly and deliberately he slides his finger in and out...in and out...adding another for a few seconds before he withdraws suddenly and grabs both of my hands, holding them next to my head and intertwining our fingers.
"Do you really want this? Are you sure?" My deep breath does nothing to bring about an auditory response but I answer him by opening my legs further for him, feeling the hard muscles of his hips on my inner thighs before finally breathing out.
"Yes, I'm sure."
He moves slightly and closes his eyes to kiss me sweetly as I feel him move down to my opening. With one hand he guides the thick head of his cock down through my lips, separating and opening them until the very tip of him pushes into me. He groans long and low. His hand finds mine again and he lies flat on me, our bodies as close as possible while he slowly slides into me, stopping when he feels the barrier of my virginity. His eyes never leave mine even when he bites his lip and thrusts hard, plowing through it and sheathing himself completely. Fuck that hurt!
His kisses catch my cry as he takes my virginity and his fingers curl tightly with mine while I ride out the pain.
"Holy Christ, Ana. Fuck you feel so good." He sighs but thankfully doesn't move. I can feel the walls of my sex spasming, trying to adjust to his size and slowly the pain ebbs. His look is...triumphant.
"I'm going to move now baby, ok?" I give him a slight nod and he kisses the tear away that has collected in the corner of my eye.
"Slowly. Please." His lips skim over mine with a groan when my hips shift under him.
"Anything you need, baby."
Slowly he withdraws until all I feel is the tip and then achingly slowly he pushes back in all the way so that I can feel is his balls against my ass. Oh, this feels good. I'm moaning as he repeats this over and over, my body slowly soaring higher and higher.
"You are so tight, Ana. So tight and wet and hot for me, just for me, only ever for me." The pain is gone and now it's just pleasure, the unbelievable pleasure of being spread wide and entered by this man. I feel full and feminine, the steady stream of groans and grunts coming from him help to make me feel sexy. He makes me feel sexy.
He leans on one arm and lifts my leg by the back of my knee so that he's pressed up against me, his other hand curling around the top of my head as if to keep me from leaving.
"You" he says with a small roll of his hips, his copper hair falling in his eyes. "Belong" his free hand squeezes my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers. "To me." And he slams into me, the air rushing out of my lungs. "You feel so good, Ana. So beautiful, so sweet."
His words are tender but his thrusting is not. It hits the ache in me over and over as my knee slides into the crook of his arm, spreading me wider for him. "Oh god, Christian." He doesn't stop, the look on his face one of concentration. I can see his jaw tense before he rests his forehead on mine but he quickly lifts his head and I feel him grow thicker and stretch me further.
"Ana, baby, I'm gonna come. Oh Fuuuuuck! Fuck! Ana! Fuck fuck fuck!" He's pumping furiously into me and with a roar he comes, his body jerking and trembling in my arms even after he's finished thrusting.
He lies on me for a minute, shivering with aftershocks, his rapid breathing slowly returning to normal. When he can lift his head he presses his forehead to mine and gently untangles his fingers from my hair but keeps hold of my hand.
"That was amazing. I knew we'd be good together but, fuck, that was other worldly." He smiles down at me and kisses me sweetly.
"Is it always like that?" I have to ask, I have no idea what was supposed to happen outside of the obvious. I brush a lock of his hair off of his face and he kisses me as he pulls out. I feel bereft immediately.
He chuckles and lies on his back next to me. "No. That was indescribable." He rolls to his side and rests his hand on my breast. "How do you feel, baby?"
"Alright, it hurt in the beginning but then it felt good." Oh come on with the blush already! His fingers trail the skin on my arm, lifting my hand and studying it.
"Good, hmmm? I'd like to do better than good."
"I'd like to do it again." Mustering up my own feminine power, I meet his gaze straight on and he smiles, his eyes wide with joy.
"Would you now?" He shifts closer and begins to kiss my face while his hand begins to knead. "Good, because I'd like a chance to redeem myself." Redeem? Redeem what? Those lips on my neck are distracting the hell out of me.
"You can do that already? Ah!" Christian presses his hardening cock against my thigh and gives me a shit eating grin. "Oh. OK." The wetness coating my inner thighs is embarrassing me and I need to take care of what I'm sure is an embarrassing mess beneath me. "I'll be right back, just give me a minute."
"No, stay, I'll handle it." Mortification. Oh my god…but oh his ass is perfection, the tight muscles shifting under his skin as he walks, the indentations on the sides begging for my attention.
How is it that physical perfection personified wants me? It doesn't seem possible. I'm lost in my own thoughts when I feel the sheet slide down and the mattress dip. Gently he lifts my knees and cleans me and as embarrassed as I am, mortified really, he does it with such tenderness that I know, in some way, this holds enormous meaning for him.
It's his fault anyway...I peek a look at him and damn if he doesn't look pleased with himself. He gives me a goofy grin and then notices the lip between my teeth, his look turning stormy in an instant.
"Stop biting your lip, Anastasia. It does things to me." Oh, right. I sit up on my knees and kneel next to him at the edge of the bed and look at the sheets, humiliation written all over my face.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'll try to clean them tomorrow."
"Stop it. You should never be embarrassed with me, Anastasia. Besides, I want to frame these, hang them from the rafters and wave them around every fuckers face that wants in your panties."
"Christian!"
"Do you know how many men would love to be me right now? But I'm the one here, and I'll be the only one ever here." Ever? He moves to kneel behind me and leans forward, his breath tickling the small hairs on my neck while his tongue rims the shell of my hear, shocks of desire shooting to my toes. "You are mine, Anastasia. Mine and mine alone."
His hands cup my breasts, lightly pinching my nipples. "These, are mine."
His finger runs over the seam of my lips and scrapes against my teeth. "And this is mine." I'm breathing shallow now as my lungs try to catch up to my heart. His hands run down my sides and grip my hips, pulling me against him. "Mine."
Without warning he glides over my mound and slides a finger between my folds sinking his middle finger into me. "And this, this is mine." Slowly he pumps in and out, the palm of his hand resting against my clit, applying just the right amount of pressure as he peppers kisses on my neck and back. My head falls against his shoulder, the moans I'm making filling the air around us as he sucks on the tender flesh right below my ear.
Just when I think I can't take it anymore he slowly withdraws and lays his hand flat against my heart. "I want this to be mine as well, Ana. I want all of you. Is this mine, Anastasia?" he asks softly, shyly even. Quickly he turns me towards him so that our knees are touching. "All of you, Ana. I want all of you. Tell me who you belong to."
Belong to? ME! I want to scream but the harsh truth is that I'm his as much as I'm mine. "Who, Ana?" I can feel his heart pounding against his chest as he waits for my answer.
"You, Christian. Only you." The breath he'd been holding shakes out of him and I want to touch him, put my hand over his heart but I can't. One day. Instead I lift his hand, entwining my fingers with his and ask, "Who do you belong to, Christian?"
His eyes widen with shock and his voice is soft.
"You, Ana. I've been yours since the moment I saw you. You own me, you always will." I gasp at his words and the conviction of them. There are so many emotions dancing behind his eyes but he remains silent and lets go of my hands to run his along the length of my body.
They're huge compared to my small frame so when he palms my ass they each cover a cheek entirely, a grip he uses to his advantage when he pulls me against him, moving his erection against me.
"I want to feel you come around my cock this time." Oh fucking my. Yes, sir. I want to grab his ass, specifically those indentations I was just looking at and I do, wrapping my arms around his waist, careful not to touch his chest or back.
His hands glide under my butt and down the back of my legs, lifting me and laying me flat across the bed, sliding into me again. No preamble, no build up, just the long, hot, thickness of pure male sinking into my already wet slit. There is no pain this time.
CPOV
Fuck, I'm so close already. Holy fucking shit she feels amazing. I want to savor this, feel every millimeter of her around my cock but if I dwell on the sensation, I'm going to come already and fuck if that's going to happen again.
"Shit, Ana. Fuck!" Concentrate, Grey! But how can I with that curvy sweet body laid out in front of me, her eyes closed in pleasure, that soft lip trapped between her teeth and my GOD those perfect breasts with those perfect, absolutely perfect pink nipples. I have to suck on them now! The sounds she makes drive me wild with need and even though I'm inside of her, I'm not close enough.
When I pull away they're red and puffy from the ministrations of my mouth and another jolt of desire shoots strait to my balls. She's everything I ever thought she'd be and damn if I didn't think about her often enough. My fantasies didn't do her justice; her soft, pliable body is perfection down to the hotter than fuck noises she makes as I thrust into her.
Sitting back onto my heels I slide my hands over her tight, smooth belly and hold her hips as her body bows, her arms stretched out above her head in a bid to find leverage against the headboard. I slow my thrusting down and watch as her legs open wider, the need in her begging me to come closer, deeper, harder. Oh fuck look at her!
I push in as far as I can and circle my hips, pressing against her so that she opens fully for me, each thrust a direct stimulation to her clit. "Ah!" she screams, her head lifting from the mattress while her hands grip the sheets above her.
"Christian, please, I need more, more." She whimpers and arches her back so that when I rise to my knees it's only her shoulders and toes on the mattress.
"I know, baby, I know. I've got you, open your eyes, Ana. I want to see you while I fuck you." I tilt her hips a bit for more contact and she cries out again. She's in my bed, wet and spread wide and I slow down for a minute to take a mental picture. I never want to forget this night.
"So fucking beautiful. Fuck you're gorgeous." I can't take my eyes off the bounce of her breasts or the way my cock glistens with her arousal. I can feel it dripping off my balls and lean down to suck her breast again as the tingle of climax moves to the base of my shaft and I grit my teeth to hold myself off. Just another minute, that's all I can take.
I could do this all day, thrust into her perfect pussy while I suck on her perfect breasts while she makes those perfect sounds out of her perfect mouth.
I feel the quiver run through her and tell her to look at me again, "I want to see you come on my cock, baby. Come for me, Ana, let me see you." Her eyes lock on mine and she becomes impossibly tight as I slam into her at a relentless pace until she screams my name even as I roar hers. Her fingernails are digging into my arm and fuck if that doesn't just add to the pleasure as I shoot off like a rocket into her.
I pull her up to hold her close and feel the walls of her pussy milking me until I collapse on top of her, my full weight bearing down on her. Unreal. Another all-consuming orgasm so soon after the last one. What is she doing to me?
We stay like that for a moment, both of us lost in the intenseness of our climaxes and the intimacy of this moment. This is what Flynn was talking about. Intimacy.
"Christian, I can't breathe" She giggles, tightening around me but after two of the most violent orgasms that have turned me inside out, I'm a bit sore and damn it if she isn't incredibly tight. But I do love that giggle so I debate the merits of staying here until I get hard again because I'm nowhere near finished with her.
"You have to get up, Christian. I seriously can't breathe." When I lift myself off and out of her she winces but so do I. Her arms go slack and she smiles up at me with heavy lids and traces my lips with her finger.
"Tired, baby?" So precious.
"Mmmmm? Yes. That was nice." Nice? Baby, that was way past nice. Her hand holds the side of my face and she smiles at me, her eyelids closing even as she lifts her head to kiss me one last time.
She rolls onto her side and I tuck her against me, wrapping my arms around her to keep her next to me at all times. "Sleep beautiful girl." This feels so good.
Ana is asleep in seconds, the steady rhythm of her breathing a balm to my soul. I'm tired, exhausted really but I want to savor every second of the time I just shared with her and I relive certain moments to commit them to memory. The way her breasts bounced out of her top when I lifted it up, the rush of heat I felt on my dick when she came for the first time. Now that was a breathtaking sight, Ana, coming under the ministrations of my mouth. I had to kick my feet and think about a business deal gone south to avoid coming in my pants like a 14 year old boy. I could feel the precum dripping down my shaft and when she said she wanted me, I wasted no time getting her in my bed.
My bed. I just fucked, excuse me, made love, in my bed. Vanilla. And it was amazing, the most amazing sex I've ever had and I've had a lot of sex.
The way she smelled, the sight of her bare pussy in my hand, arousal coating my palm as I got her ready for me. I knew her skin was flawless, I'd studied it hard enough at the pool party but the shade of pink her nipples are and the way she gets a blush from head to toe just turns me the fuck on.
It was when she was on her back beneath me, her hair fanned out on the pillow, her naked body open to me that I wanted to remember for the rest of my life. The way the heat rolled off of her, inviting me in and the way she opened to me like a flower when I got ready to take her. But what killed me, broke me in two and healed me right back up was the tender way she cupped my face and kissed me before she gave me her virginity.
And oh god the sensation of her tight wetness around me. How many times had I fantasized about her, wondered what she looked like, smelled like, tasted like, sounded like, felt like. She did not disappoint. Nothing about her was a disappointment. Even now with her sweet little naked ass pressed against my groin she's nothing but perfect.
Everything about her screams purity right down to her pale pink finger and toe nails. Lifting my head a bit I look for the white lace panties I took off of her, purity and carnality wrapped up in a pretty little package. Well, not so pure now I think as I chuckle against her neck. It pleases me immensely to see them lying on the floor near my closet and I reach down to touch her nakedness. Mine, totally, completely, wholly mine.
I took her virginity, or more accurately, she gave it to me. Fuck! She gave that to me and when I saw the mix of our fluids and the unmistakable proof of her virginity on the sheets I went from semi to full hard on. For 22 years she had held onto that and she had chosen me, this fucked up husk of a man to give it to. She trusts me, the evidence was right in front of me and damn if I'm not going to prove her right. It felt like an honor to clean her afterwards, almost as if I could absolve the sin of tainting this wholesome woman.
Virginity had never held any weight for me, I saw no real value in it until Anastasia told me that she still had hers. Then, it meant everything, a gift for me to treasure and cherish. Suddenly, I get the appeal.
Her little hand grips mine in sleep and pulls my hand against her heart. I'll have to figure out her ring size later, right now, I just want to sleep with the scent of her hair and the feel of her skin against me.
The moon is still out but the sun is beginning to make an appearance when I wake a few hours later. The effect this has on the sleeping angel beside me is breathtaking. She's turned in her sleep, tucking her hands under my side so as not to touch me while keeping her face an inch from my chest. Even in sleep she takes care of me.
She looks so peaceful, her lips slightly open, her long eyelashes resting on her cheek bones, the faint sound of her breathing. I've studied her in her sleep every time we've slept together but this time she's mine to study. I'm no longer an intruder on these quiet vulnerable moments and I take full advantage, scanning her slowly to memorize her features. The small dusting of freckles across her nose is fucking cute as hell and I make a mental note to scan the rest of her in the daylight for more.
As carefully as I can I grab my phone and take picture after picture of her like this until she begins to stir. I could watch her all night. My chest puffs up when I look at her and think about the fact that my semen is inside of her, I love the idea of her lying here marked by me. No one else will ever have that pleasure.
Fuck, now I've got a hard on and as much as I want to wake her and slide into that tight little pussy I won't. I admit that I want her sore, I want her to remember where I've been every time she moves tomorrow and if we were going to be apart, I'd do it but we're spending the day together, I'll make sure of that, and I'm going to want her over and over. I have so little control with her as it is but I muster some together and set her latest photo as my screensaver before pulling her close and falling asleep wrapped around her again.
APOV
I'm burning up, suffocating. I feel heavy, weighed down and when I open my eyes I can see why. Just like at the Fairmont, Christian Grey, of Greek God status, is lying naked on top of me. His left hand is holding onto one of my breasts and his leg is flung over both of mine. Is that his, yup, it sure is! Damn he's big. I smile when I think about the moment I saw him naked for the first time. Terror seized me, how that was going to fit inside me was a mystery.
But it did and god did it feel good. I had expected a bit of pain and I assumed that eventually it would feel good but I was grossly unprepared for just how good it felt. Being the object of someone else's desire, being opened and entered for the pleasure of another holds an awesome power. To see his face while he attempted to leash his lust and hold onto his control even as his body rebelled was a revelation to me.
He took from me as much as he gave to me, the pleasure of my body bringing him to the brink of his restraint and when he trembled in my arms at the end, the sheer vulnerability of this intimacy we had shared hit me hard.
He is so beautiful. His hair is in it's usual just fucked state except this time, it really is just fucked. I smile at the thought. I just fucked Christian Grey. Oh my god! I just had sex! With Christian fucking Grey! My hand flies to my mouth to stifle a giggle but he stirs anyway and murmurs against my chest, the stubble of his chin scraping against my over sensitized flesh. I think I hear my name before he kisses me on my sternum and rolls off enough for me to get up.
The remnants of his…ejaculation…are running down my legs so I hurry to the bathroom to clean myself up. For god's sake, I've just had sex, mind blowing sex, I should be able to say ejaculation without giggling. After I've cleaned myself up I study myself in the mirror. I look the same though my breasts feel heavier and my nipples are red, no doubt from overuse.
My hair is a mess so I brush it out and wet it to tame the curls. There are tiny little marks on my hips from where his fingers griped me and the sight of them makes me want to jump on him and make him grab me like that again.
I'm sore, not as sore as I thought I'd be but he'd been gentle and despite his size I was ready for him. Still, I decide against panties and instead put the white dress shirt he took off after dinner last night on. I roll the sleeves up and walk to the bed smelling it along the way. It still smells like him. Or is that my skin, imprinted with his scent after last night?
The urge to roll him over and tell him to make love to me again is a tough one to fight but a small squeeze of my thighs and I'm reminded as to why I need to wait. As it's almost 9am I figure I'll make some breakfast for us but before I leave I lean down and kiss the back of his neck as gently as I can. Not even six weeks ago I didn't know this man existed and now, now I can't live without him.
Authors note: I would highly recommend looking at the pinterest page for this chapter. Some pretty hot pictures are on there!
FSSAS/fifty-shades-slow-and-steady/