Just like last time, the final two chapters are being posted together for closure. You might want tissues...

And I might need forgiveness…

Sam woke up first with a feeling of complete and utter despair. Mercedes had been the one to believe in miracles but when he needed one the most it hadn't happened.

Before he even opened his eyes he knew that the love of his life was gone. When he finally got the courage to look he saw Mercedes had a soft smile on her face. Somehow while they slept she'd taken both his and Stasia's hands in her own. She felt still warm and it was only the fact that she was unusually still that belied there was anything wrong at all.

Sam's chest felt as if a huge hole had been ripped through it as he brought his lips to her cheek and kissed it gently. His movement woke Stasia.

"Mom?" One look at Sam gave the answer she didn't want to hear and she immediately started sobbing.

"She's smiling Stasia. She went happy, knowing she was with the two people she loved the most."

He said the words as much for himself as he did for their daughter. But it didn't make the pain any less.

In keeping with the tradition of Mercedes's Sector, they buried her at sundown.

"Are you sure this is even legal?"

Sam nodded but in reality he didn't know and didn't care. Mercedes had made only two requests and he was determined to follow through on both. The first was a request for her burial. She didn't want to be put in a cemetery plot in Sector Centre. She wanted to be Outside. She belonged Outside.

"I don't care. It's what she wanted."

Stasia's face was solemn and her lips formed a narrow line, but she silently led the way. Sam couldn't do this on his own. There was no way he would have found the entrance to the Outside or his way back in. She helped him to dig a shallow grave at one of Mercedes' favorite spots overlooking the sea. Stasia pressed flower seeds into the fresh earth that they had piled on top. She didn't want a headstone or any markings. She simply wanted to go back to the ground from which she'd been created. At first Sam had protested but she explained that it was important never to be found. Having gone missing, presumed dead years before, she didn't want to be found and tied back in any way. Even in death she protected him. Nobody would be looking for her Outside, and even if they eventually did, she would never be found. Her epitaph was engraved, not in stone, but in the hearts of her husband and her child.

They each said a few words then sat together to watch the sun set. Wrapped his arm around Stasia and she snuggled close. He took the smallest comfort in knowing that Mercedes going first meant she would never have to live with finding out the true horrors of his past. They'd kept all mention of it from Stasia, and Mercedes had seen him only as a new and changed man.

"I'm not going!" Her words broke the silence of the moment.

"What did you say?" Sam looked at her in surprise. After spending time the day before assuring him that it was safe to travel in her condition and that the journey only took about three weeks give or take a couple of days, was she now changing her mind?

"I said I'm not going. I can't leave you like this. I don't want to leave you!"

Sam shook his head. "Don't say that. It's your dream to cross the Sea. It always has been."

"But I have my child to think about. I know I thought it would be good for the child but I was wrong. Maybe I should stay here with you. I could move back in. Company for you in return for you helping me with the baby."

Sam shook his head. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because you would never be happy. It would eat at you and you'll start to resent your life. You'll resent me, you'll resent your child and it will make you bitter. I can't let that happen. We've had this conversation before. You are so much like your mom. She had this thing inside of her that burned and made her leave. It wasn't something she could fight, it was something she had to do. She wanted nothing more than to come here and she found what she was looking for which made her happy. You're the same Stasia. Your mom always knew she was meant for something more than where she was and you are exactly like her. You need to cross the Sea. You've been obsessing about it since you could talk and it's important that you do this. You need to make your own adventures and take your own Journey."

"But I always loved the stories you guys used to tell about your journey here. I wanted to have adventures like that."

He pulled her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head. "And you will. I've already accepted that. I accepted it back when you were drawing boats in every single picture of the sea even while I looked out and remained convinced that there weren't any! You were a gift to us and deep down we always knew and appreciated that we only ever had you on loan. The day was always going to come when you would continue the journey your mom started. The only difference is I thought we'd both be here to send you off."

Her eyes welled up for the millionth time that day. "But I don't want to leave you daddy!"

His matched hers. "And I don't want to see you go. But I always knew it would happen and I've prepared myself for it."

She shook her head. "I can't leave you now that mom's gone."

"Yes you can. This is the perfect time for you to go! Besides, you made a promise to your mom that you would and you have to keep it."

"I would have said anything to make her happy at the end."

"And you know how she feels about going back on your word. If you don't do it for me, do it for your promise to her."

Stasia sighed, knowing that there was no way she could argue this. "But I won't see you again. You… you won't see the baby!"

That was a kick in the guts Sam would never be able to get over. But again, it was nothing more than history repeating itself. "I did the same to your grandfather. He never got to see you, but he had faith that his daughter was safe and with someone that she loved and that was enough to keep him going. I know that you'll never be truly happy if you just stay here with me and I can't be truly happy either unless I know you're doing what your heart keeps telling you to do."

"But dad-"

"Shhhh…" He held her tight, feeling all cried out for the day already. He eyed the mound of freshly turned earth next to them, casting it into his memory forever. "You owe it to yourself to do this, and more importantly, you owe it to the memory of the amazing woman that was your mother."

They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again. He could tell from her resigned expression that she wasn't going to fight him anymore. "And what will you do?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think I can stay in this house forever, there's too many memories. I'll move too."

Her eyes lit up. "You can come with me!"

The idea wasn't even tempting and he shook his head. "I'm too old for doing the kind of journey you're going to make. I think I'll retire and live as a man of leisure. Maybe I'll just go to the next Sea Sector like Artie did. I can get my own place and draw and paint only the things that inspire me. It's the thing that made me happiest after being with you and your mom."

Stasia sighed as she stared out at the fading yellows, reds and oranges of the setting sun being reflected on the seawater as the sky rapidly darkened and the temperature started to drop. "So this is it?"

Sam nodded. "You're not mine to keep. We brought you up to have your independence. Now that your time has come it would be wrong of me to keep you."

"I love you daddy."

"I love you Stasia. Go be amazing like your mother and make us proud."

That night they sat in Stasia's old room, neither with any desire to sleep or return to the room where they had woken that morning. They looked at photographs, laughed and shared happy memories of Mercedes before falling fitfully asleep on her bed.

Despite Sam's protests, Stasia stayed with him a week. He would have protested more but he was genuinely grateful for her company and as she pointed out, she had already packed a bag to stay for several days when he'd met her in Sector Center. Seeing how determined he was to move from the house that held so many memories she helped him to pack everything up and he was grateful. He would never have been able to go through Mercedes' things on his own. She also helped him to look for alternative accommodation on the Sector Net. Sam decided he wanted a single story bungalow and shortlisted a couple which were available for immediate occupancy.

On the seventh day Sam gently reminded her that she had affairs of her own to sort out and time was rapidly running out before the departure of her ship. Stasia had already seen it arriving and heading for port. It would be there for ten days, refueling and storing up supplies for the return journey. There was no way on earth Sam was going to let her miss it. She wasn't happy that he seemed to be pushing her away, but knew that her own time was running out. It had been ages since they'd spent so much time together and she realized just how much she was going to miss him.

The next day, Stasia was sad but calm. She took a few of her childhood items as mementoes, as well as the pink dress that Mercedes got married in, already knowing she would never return to this house again. Sam returned to the bedroom and stared hard at the empty bed that he hadn't been able to sleep in since that fateful night, before reaching into his bedside drawer and taking out the envelope which had lived there since the day he'd arrived.

Without a word he took it and handed it over to his daughter.

"What's this?" Stasia tore it open and gasped at all the money inside. "I don't understand? What's this? I know its money but it's not from this Sector!"

"It's mine. From before I met your mom. She didn't want me to spend it on her so I'm giving it to you instead. I know you have some savings, but think of this as your inheritance."

She frowned. "Why wouldn't she let you spend it on her?"

"They were her wishes and I followed them. She had her own money for the journey and wanted to use it first." They'd never told Stasia about Sam's previous life and occupation and resolved that she never ever find out. "But I want you to take it. This money is me being with you when I can't be with you. Use it for the baby."

As she silently stared at the envelope in awe, he handed her a small box.

"What's this?"

"Mom wanted you to have this."

She opened the box to reveal Mercedes' wedding ring. "I know it's not much, but she wanted to make sure you had it as an inheritance from her. When we started we had nothing. I had to pawn my earring just to get something to put on her finger but it was worth it."

"Did she really want me to have it?"

He nodded. "And if you don't want to put it on your finger, you can wear it around your neck with one of these…"

Sam handed her another box. Mercedes hadn't been one to wear much jewelry, but she had a couple of simple chains and a few sets of earrings for when she'd dressed smart. "…I think it looks nicest with one of the very simple chains."

Stasia played with the ring, examining it closely for a moment before clenching it tight in her hand. "I'll make sure I keep this ring close to my heart where nobody can steal it."

Their final embrace was heartbreaking. She had only ten days before the ship left but although they'd never said the actual words, they both knew it would be easier to make a clean break. Besides, she had several loose ends to tie up and had also been charged with organizing a memorial service in Sector Center for Mercedes's friends, employees, clients and others who wanted to pay their respects.

Sam said that he'd try to come to the memorial but they both knew that he wouldn't.

Just as she was about to turn to leave he touched her belly and then sobbed, again remembering that it was the same thing that Mercedes' father had done to her. He didn't get to see his grandchild either. It had all gone full circle.

It was only fair.

She kissed him one last time and then she was gone. He stood, watching her as she descended the hill and stayed staring with teary eyes and a shattered heart long after she disappeared from view.

They both knew that they would never see each other again.

Present Day

Sam couldn't eat and he couldn't sleep. Nights were spent in sweat drenched fear, his nightmares back with a frighteningly vivid vengeance. His days were often spent outside painting. He had to, because when he was inside he would be tempted to just stand and stare at the empty bed, just as he was doing now. He'd stopped taking commissions the day Mercedes' pain had stopped and worked only to finish his current 'works in progress'.

With a heavy heart he brought all of Mercedes's already packed things out of the house. She lived in his heart now and he couldn't face the constant reminder. He piled it all, together with many of his own things, smothered them with gasoline and burned the huge in his own private ceremony, held on the same day that he knew Stasia was doing hers in Sector Center. He knew he couldn't take the things with him and didn't want and stranger touching them.

His own remaining things were few and easy to pack into one easily manageable case. He was an old man with few needs now. Being in the house brought too many memories and he needed to be free to get out as soon as possible. There was a small one bedroom single story near the beach in Sea Sector 4 with his name on it. Sam knew that he would never be able to live in the city, so to find a place where he could truly be alone was the best that he could possibly hope for.

All he had to do was actually go. He'd been sleeping in the one room of an empty house for days, his few belongings in boxes by the door, wondering why he couldn't bring himself to cross that threshold for one last time. Instead, he spent his days staring at the empty frame of the bed that had been the center of his new life. The bed where he'd taken Mercedes's virginity, where Stasia had been born, and where their life had truly been lived and loved.