CPOV
The minute we get back into Seattle the real world slaps us right in the face. Outside of the Pilates studio is a crowd of about 20 people, mostly photographers with a few 'reporters' in the mix. Ryan has already done a sweep of the studio and a background check on the photographer and his assistant and now he's pushing the crowd away from the car.
"I can't believe this." She sits, still and tense in the car while Cat Stevens croons quietly in the speakers. "How do you live like this?"
"I don't. I mean, I have the occasional pap follow me around for a few days and there's always the red carpet but my PR firm has done a good job at refusing any and all interviews which, after time, has sent a pretty clear message. I'm off limits." Looking outside though, I can see we're back to square one now. "Come on sweet cheeks, Taylor is waiting to open your door, you let him, you walk to me, I take you inside, we forget about them."
She nods and reaches in the back to grab the bag of workout gear she'll need for the shoot later. She takes a deep breath and shakes her shoulders a bit before making eye contact with Taylor who opens her door, speaks into his sleeve and then pushes some asshole trying to take a picture of the inside of the car. It's a fucking car, how interesting can it be?
I meet them halfway and wrap my arm around her protectively, quickly ushering her inside while Taylor carries the bag and Ryan keeps the walkway clear. The studio owner is at the door and locks it once we're inside.
"Namaste." He says to us both before hugging her. Oh fucking great. One of these guys. She smiles at him but I see the tear in the corner of her eye and so does he. "It's fine, it's only like this when you teach. I've brought Salvatore in for your classes so that he can get in your class members and then escort you to the car afterwards." Only then does he turn to me, pushing his hands together as if he were praying. "Namaste. You must be Christian, it's so nice to finally meet you." Actually, it's Mr. Grey you hippie fuck.
"Jared, I can't allow you to spend money because of me, let me pay for Sal to be here." He waves her off as I interrupt.
"Mr. Mastellano, Anastasia has private security that can help you with crowd control."
"Yes, I've met Mr. Ryan on a few occasions and while I'm grateful for his help, his job shouldn't be that of bouncer. I've added 46 students to the studio's roster since the news of your private life came out, trust me, I can afford Salvatore and he needs the cash." He reaches out and holds her upper arm. Get the fuck off her. "Let me do this, Ana, I'll let you know if it becomes an issue."
Taylor gets Sal's information for a background check and I follow Ana in those short black boy shorts and low cut tank bra. I am not happy, at all, with the outfit she's chosen to teach in and I'm even less thrilled that she'll be photographed in it. As Jared and Taylor exchange information I plead with her, one more time to consider changing.
"Christian I'm 22. I teach Pilates. This is what a lot of instructors wear and if I'm going to have my picture taken to highlight the benefits of Pilates, then I need to be able to show those highlights as well. We decided as a group to wear this." I'm not going to win this way, I'll have to buy the pictures and get the photographer to not use them.
As the class begins to filter in I watch her switch into instructor mode. Taylor, Ryan and I are ushered to the waiting area which is a small room with a big window looking out onto the floor. Ana greets each student and air kisses a few, including one man, and then walks to the front of the class.
"Hi everybody. I have to apologize again for the chaos outside, I'm assured by my boyfriend that it will soon be over once they grow tired of me. Until then, I will force you to do one less hover as a thank you for putting up with it." The class laughs and cheers but I have no idea what that means so I sit, ready to see what her body can do.
She walks to a panel on the wall and hits the light switch and the room becomes darker and then it fills with music. I chuckle when I recognize the first few beats of Enigmas 'Mea Culpa'. She walks back to the front center and I watch as 35 adults listen and do exactly as they're told by my 5'1" powerhouse.
"Let's start on our backs with 50 roll downs, grab your weights." She lies down parallel to the class and does a modified sit up, holding an 8lb weight in her arms. "Now 25 more, hold halfway, count to four and roll down." Now I know why her abs are so tight. "Take the last one into a V sit and hold for two minutes, then go right into your extensions, 50 total, no weights." Damn. Even Taylor is impressed.
"Full body stretch then flip it over for a hover." I'm glad to see she walks the room as everyone does this 'hover' thing, I'd be pissed as hell if some schmuck saw down her top. "Good, now twist in for 30 on each side." She stands in front of the window affording me an excellent view of her ass and turns to wave. "Go right into your side plank for two minutes. Good, now stretch it out and flip sides."
Jared comes over and watches with us but his eyes are on the class as a whole and not Anastasia. It's a small comfort since he's here twice a week with her.
"She's good at this, no?" I want to hear the praises, I'm so fucking proud of everything she does it's pathetic.
"She's great. She's very strong and lithe which is what Pilates is all about, that's why I wanted her to be our model for the website." Right. It has nothing to do with her perky breasts and rounded ass. Sex sells and that's my biggest problem with him using her. He's using what's mine to sell a product.
The minutes tick by and I grow fascinated by the things she's capable of doing. She'd last for hours in the playroom. Every exercise she does highlights her muscular definition but somehow she manages to keep her body looking super feminine. With about 10 minutes to go Jared comes back with the photographer, one Brandon Strauss. Single, 34 years old, owner of Strauss Photography and current threat to me and mine.
One look at him and I hate him. He walks right up to the glass and points to Ana. "Who's the instructor? The one with the killer rack?"
"Hey!" I boom loud enough for the entire class to look my way. Ana looks mortified. I mouth 'sorry' to her and turn to face him head on. "Hey fucknut. That's my girlfriend. If you speak about her like that again, I will shove that camera so far up your ass you'll get a picture of your brain. Now get out, you're fired." He's shocked and clearly intimidated. I'm not in my usual CEO suit and tie but I still broaden my chest and shoulders under the white linen shirt so that he knows just how fucking serious I am.
"Sorry, man. Didn't mean a thing by it. Brandon." He extends his hand but I cross my arms and turn to the glass and watch Ana do something she's calling 'The Bridge'. Well fuck me I didn't know she was so flexible. I will definitely be filing that tidbit away for later. "Mr. Grey?"
"What are you still doing here? Get the fuck out, Taylor call Jose Rodriguez and have him meet us here immediately." Jared just stares at me and then looks at Brandon, back to me, back to Brandon, still frozen to the spot.
"Mr. Grey, I've hired Brandon to do a job, he's a friend and a very good photographer."
"A friend, Mr. Mastellano? A friend? Do you usually have friends who speak about women like that in front of strangers?"
"It was out of line but harmless. He's apologized; it's time we move on. Anger will get us nowhere."
"Cut the shit with the hippy dippy crap. I want him gone before the class is over." Jared's eyebrows raise but he makes no move to speak. "Taylor when can Mr. Rodriguez get here?"
"We haven't been able to get a hold of him yet, sir, we'll keep trying." I'm still in a staring match with Jared, acutely aware of the rising of my blood pressure.
"You can tell your photographer that his services aren't needed, we already have one here. I'm sorry that you're upset, I can understand your hesitation in continuing with him but he's been given a deposit and has been promised the work. Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to set up for the shoot." In all the years I've been in business, nobody, not one single person has stood up to me like that and blatantly ignored my demands. I watch in stunned silence as the two of them and the assistant set up lights with the four students staying for a few pictures.
My usual MO would be to buy the studio, destroy the business and blackball this asshole but that little voice in the back of my mind that Ana calls my conscious reminds me that this guy is Ana's friend. I have zero idea how to navigate this and one look at Taylor and Ryan confirm that they don't either. Fuck!
When Brandon begins to walk towards Anastasia I fly out the door and yell, "Don't you fucking touch her!" Her face crinkles with confusion and then turns blood red.
"Christian!" Brandon stands frozen in time along with the rest of the class as the color drains from her face and anger replaces it. "Can I speak to you privately please?"
She marches to Jared's office and shuts the door but doesn't turn to me, instead she steadies herself with her hands on the wall. I know she's pissed but all I can think about is peeling down those shorts and having her ride me on this chair.
When she turns around I realize the possibility of any of that happening is less than zero.
"Care to explain?"
"He said something about your breasts, he's a pervert and shouldn't be near you. I've got Jose coming instead just as soon as Taylor gets ahold of him."
"Jose took Rachel to San Fransisco for the weekend, he'll be back on Tuesday. Is it true that you tried to fire the guy Jared hired?"
"Yes. If Jose can't come, we'll find someone else. That man is not taking pictures of you." Her jaw drops and tears spring to her eyes again.
"You fired someone you didn't hire that doesn't work for you in a place of business not owned by you?" I nod. "How fucking arrogant are you? So he said something about my boobs. You do all the time and don't even say we're dating because you made comments before then too." Her hand is held up to cut me off before I can get the words out.
"Ana, the guy's a pervert." Her eyes widen and then she laughs.
"Why? Because he likes tits? Get a grip, Christian. I'm going to go out there and let him finish apologizing since you so rudely interrupted him and then I'm getting these pictures over with. Like I said, if you can't control yourself, then you can leave." And with that she flings the door open and walks out.
I am so mad, so unbelievably pissed that I count backwards from 20 nine times before I feel I can leave this room. When I do Ana is on the floor doing what I now know is a side plank with the four students who have all stayed. Only now do I realize that they're all wearing the same outfit, the only variation being that theirs are a full tank and not a half. I'm an idiot, of course they would have planned this.
Brandon, the fucknut, is clicking away as the assistant measures lighting and distances. I hadn't even noticed her before in my rage.
"Beautiful, lift your hip just a smidgen, Ana. Great, perfect. Ok, I think we've got that position." Jared thanks the women and unlocks the door to usher them out while the assistant and Brandon move the lights and wires around. "Alright, here is good. Can you take your hair down for me?" Oh fuck no.
"An" is the furthest I get before she shoots me a look that sends a shiver down my spine and blood to my cock. Angry Ana, is a hot Ana.
She lies face down and then rises on her arms, the brunt of her weight balancing on her palms in what looks like a low held push up. When she extends one leg and holds the other out straight to form an L, I'm truly blown away. She looks right at the camera with a 'come fuck me' look and I just about come in my pants.
One look at fucknut and I can tell he's liking this position as well. If I wasn't afraid of her, I'd kill him.
"Amazing. You are really very good. Keep holding, a few more seconds." The camera clicks away, my anxiety ratcheting up with each tiny sound of the shutter. He'll have hundreds of pictures of her with that face. Totally unacceptable. "Good, why don't you go change and I'll set up for the bars."
Anastasia walks past me and into Jared's office, shutting the door behind her without so much as a glance back. I'm not dealing with this bull shit for one more second. I fully expect the door to be locked but try the handle anyway and it opens, revealing Ana's naked back behind the desk.
"What the fuck?" she says, covering herself with her arms before she registers that it's me.
"What the fuck is right, Anastasia. What the fuck are you doing not locking the door? What the fuck are you doing looking at the camera like you want to fuck it? What the fuck are you doing ignoring me?"
"Christian, if you think for one second that I'm going to argue with you right now, you're out of your mind. I'm here to support my friend and take a few pictures, not be embarrassed by my grown boyfriends behavior. And I was concentrating. In case you couldn't tell, that was hard to do." Is she fucking serious right now?
"Watch yourself, Ana. You're poking the tiger." My fists are clenched but my palms itch, the desire to turn her ass red raging inside me. I can actually hear the smack.
"The tiger? You mean your jealousy over something someone said about me, which, by the way I'd never have known about if you hadn't flown over the cuckoo's nest over it. Now, instead of just getting the pictures over with, I'm acutely self-conscious and embarrassed." Her voice catches but I'm so mad I just don't give a shit right now.
"If he had left when I told him to, you wouldn't be aware or embarrassed." Her body, lithe and lean stalks towards me like a tigress. "Shit, baby. Do you have to wear something so enticing?" She's changed from black to pure white and thankfully this time it's a full tank and calf length tight pants.
"If you want to see some of these moves up close and personal tonight, I'd suggest you bite your tongue and play nice like we talked about. You're embarrassing me, Christian."
"Ana, after your little performance tonight, I'm going to require more than up close and personal." Leaning down I lick the shell of her ear and roll my hips into hers. "You've made my palms twitch and the only cure for that is a spanking and a good hard fuck."
"A spanking?" she croaks but then pulls back and rolls her eyes. "You're going to spank me for getting my picture taken? For fucks sake I should be spanking you for your behavior." I snort as the fiery rage ebbs a bit.
"No, baby, I'm going to play a bit, take out my frustrations on your body over the pictures. I'm going to spank you for rolling your eyes."
"Oh please, I did that after you threatened me." I wrap my hands around those flared hips and roll into her again.
"It wasn't a threat."
She pulls away when someone yells for her but I grab her wrist to keep her in the office.
"Christian, I've got to get out there."
"I know, but you need to wait until your nipples aren't showing. Nobody, especially limp dick fucknuts get to see what's mine. Though I do like to see you turned on by the idea of a spanking." Her laughter annihilates any remaining animosity between us.
"You are such a Neanderthal." I give her my best 'who me?' look and smack her ass when she walks out the door. Hope fucknut heard that.
As the session goes on I find myself getting more and more turned on by the prospect of turning her ass into a delicious shade of pink. She hangs upside down, her legs in a perfect split and I think up exactly what I'm going to do to her. I find that focusing on that helps to ease the returned rage simmering just under the surface. I do not like watching another man take pictures of my girlfriend.
At the three hour mark I just about lose my shit when fucknut tucks a strand of hair behind her ear for 'a few more frames'. As gracefully as a ballerina Ana comes down from the bars and walks towards me, planting a firm wet kiss on my mouth.
"We're finished, he wanted a few more but once he touched my hair I knew you were planning on where to bury his body so I wrapped it up. He's got enough anyway so let me just finish up with Jared."
Once she's said her goodbyes, I don't bother with either fucknut or the hippie asshole, we make our way to the car. On the road I shift into fourth gear and explain to her exactly what I want.
"When we get home, shower but don't get dressed. I want you to wait, naked, next to my side of the bed." I flick on the stereo and pick U2's 'Desire'.
"Are you really going to spank me?"
"Yes. And you're going to love it."
APOV
I'm not sure how I feel about this. Spanking. I know some people find it enjoyable, I know Kate loves it but coupled with what Christian's past has consisted of, it feels like a gateway to BDSM. Am I ready to cross this threshold and try on this part of his world? The first conversation we ever had about it he told me he wanted to do certain things to me that were part of this lifestyle and now, it's actually happening.
As much of an ass as he was tonight, I know him well enough to know that he controlled himself despite what he wanted to do. The least I can do is let him have some fun and despite my reservations, I am curious and admittedly a little turned on. I'm ashamed that I want him to spank me. Should I be ashamed? I have no idea how to feel right now.
The entire drive home is an internal debate on the merits of sexual exploration and of pleasing Christian so that he's less likely to want to go to someone else for his kicks. The feminist in me is sickened that I'd even consider letting him spank me for his pleasure but the woman in me wants this. Am I doing this out of fear of getting bored or am I doing this because I want to?
The photographer was an asshole for saying what he did but it wasn't the end of the world. Once I left the office, Christian staying behind to calm himself down, I just went over to him, demanded an apology and moved on. He was happy to give me one and was sincere as far as I could tell.
Once the elevator door slides open he leans in to lick my ear again, shivers running to my fingertips and says in that low sexy voice of his, "Shower. Naked. Spank. Fuck. Cum. Now."
I walk, even though I want to run, to the shower and scrub down as fast as I can, brushing my teeth and towel drying my hair. Once it's complete I stand by his side of the bed and notice a small red box on the night table that's never been there before. Christian strolls in just then and lets out a low whistle.
"Damn you are one fine specimen. He can have the pictures, I've got the real thing." Slowly he removes his tie and shirt, dropping them on the floor where his pants, boxers and socks soon join. He sits next to where I'm standing and reaches for the box.
"Do you know what these are?" he asks as he opens the red padded box.
"Silver balls on a white chord. No. Should I?"
"Tsk tsk tsk, your smart mouth just earned you three more spanks."
"Three more? How many do I have?"
"Sir. How many do I have, sir?"
I repeat for no other reason than to find out what I can expect.
"Fifteen. Three for that blow job this morning, three for the outfit you chose to wear for the pictures, three for disobeying me with regards to the photographer and three for rolling your eyes. Add to that your smart mouth and we're at a nice number."
Disobeying? Is he for fucking real? Is this playful for him or is he viewing this as punishment? I have no more time to think when he lifts the balls to my mouth and orders me to open.
"Suck." And I do until he holds his hand out. "Turn around and hold onto the night table." Is he going to put those balls, yup! He is! His naked body stands next to mine and rubs my butt while two fingers drag along the lips of my sex until I'm wet. I feel it then, the warmed smooth metal of first one and then the second ball being pushed into me.
"Stand. Do they feel secure?"
"Um, yes. I mean, yes, sir."
"Good Ms. Steele. Now, go get me my phone, I seem to have left it on my desk." Oh my holy what the hell is that? Every step shifts the round weights inside of me, causing me to contract which only adds even more shifting. Now I know why he wanted me to get his phone. "Anastasia. Put on a robe first."
Oh right, Taylor.
It's a long walk from the office to the bedroom but the movements inside me make it that much longer. By the time I get back to the bedroom I'm covered in a sheen of sweat and wet enough to be embarrassed. Christian is standing right where I left him next to the bed. He's in full alpha male domination mode and even me, a total novice at all things BDSM can tell that he's absolutely serious right now.
"I love the way your breasts shake when you walk." His fingers run down the divide of my back as he draws me closer, bends me and sucks in a nipple, holding it between his lips and tugging it. The balls feel like they're pulsing inside of me.
"It's too intense." He shakes his head, tugging my breast and I nearly come on the spot. Oh god, one more minute like this and I'm going to come before he's even really touched me. His lips release me with a sucking sound that travels straight to those balls.
"Baby, you haven't felt intense yet." He chuckles darkly and then sucks in the other nipple and pays it the same attention. "Well, maybe last night on the deck bed and this afternoon on the table. God, what I want to do to you. Now, come here."
He sits on the edge of the bed, his erection jutting up obscenely against his belly, shiny at the tip from the pre-cum I so very much want to taste. His hand fists the base of his shaft and he looks at me slyly. "You want this?" I don't care how far back I'm setting the feminist movement right now, I want that cock in my mouth, on my tongue and I want him to spank me. I'm ready.
"On your knees." Oh yes! "Hands behind your back. Stick out your tongue. Now lick me clean." His words, his voice, or maybe just the hard essence of male in my mouth cause mini convulsion to echo through me as I lick the helmet of his dick clean, swirling my tongue over that tiny slit over and over until he's panting and pulling at his balls. "Stop!" He orders and I do so sadly.
"This mouth. This smart mouth that drives me crazy." He stands, still holding himself but now he's grabbed the top of my head, carefully wrapping my hair around his hand. "Tongue out again, baby." I stick it out as far as I can and he lightly smacks his dick on it, each contact sending a jolt to the top of my thighs which are dripping. "Suck me until I come in this smart mouth."
Both of his hands hold my head then, pulling me onto his cock as he fucks my mouth. It only takes a minute before his iron clad control snaps and he pumps his hips frantically, his eyes watching every slide in and every slide out.
"Fuck you look good on your knees, Ana." I can barely keep my mouth open anymore, my lips are numb from the brutally delicious assault but I'm greedy for his orgasm and redouble my suction, joyfully watching his belly contract. "Holy shit! Don't stop, just like that, oh fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck!"
His toes curl under and he rocks forward, hitting the back of my throat where I feel jets of warm salty liquid slide down. His body jerks forward and bends, sliding out of my mouth before he sits heavily on the bed. I use the robe he pushed off of me to wipe the corners of my mouth and then stealthily clean between my legs. I'm embarrassingly wet.
"What are you doing?" He seems mad and I'm so embarrassed that I look down and say nothing. "Ana, we've been through this, you're not to ever be embarrassed around me."
"I was really wet." His upper body disappears as he flops back onto the bed and groans.
"I know! It's the biggest turn on when you want it and now you've gone and taken all that sweet juice away from me." He sits and smirks. "That'll cost you three more spanks. 18 total." His eyes turn dark and pensive. Internally he's debating whether or not he can do this with me and that damn voice in my own head pipes up.
If you can't do it, he'll find someone who can…
"I want this, to try it. See if it's something I can do for you." He cocks his head to the side and speaks in a normal voice.
"Us, Ana. Something we can do for us. There is no me or you when it comes to what we do together. Everything is for us." Yes, he's right. I have to want this too.
"Okay." The concern on his face switches quickly back to a smirk.
"Okay, Sir."
"Okay, Sir." I breathe out, the moisture seeping out again.
"Good girl, now, choose two safe words. The first will be to let me know that you're reaching your limit or that you're uncomfortable. The second means for me to stop, which I will do immediately." I've heard of safe words but I'll be damned if I'm going to use the same ones as his previous…women.
"What are the ones you've used?" I catch the small tensing of his shoulders before he answer.
"Yellow and red."
"Coffee and Tea. Coffee to slow down, tea to stop." He snorts and rubs his face.
"Only you would choose those. Okay, coffee and tea." Playful Christian is gone, in his place a mask falls down that turns me on and scares me. Coffee and tea. Coffee and tea. Don't forget, you're in control of what happens to your body no matter how much he thinks he is.
"Now, come here, Anastasia and lie across my lap with your face and chest flat against the bed. I want your face towards me." The raw silk feels soft against my heated skin but I've got no real time to think about it when he raises his hand, his flat palm quickly slapping my left cheek.
"Ow! You didn't give me any warning!" Another sharp smack this time to the right cheek.
"No talking! If laying across my lap with your pretty little ass in the air wasn't warning enough," Smack, directly onto the lips of my sex. The resulting jolt pushes me forward so that I rise on my tippy toes. "then you deserve three more." Smack onto the left cheek, followed quickly by the right and then straight onto my sex.
Each time his hand lands the balls seem to bang against each other and push forward. The way he's positioned me, his knee is directly against my belly, pushing against the objects bringing me an unbearable combination of pleasure and pain. Each time his hands lands he holds it there, absorbing and distributing the heat from my skin.
"There's that pink I've been so curious about." Left, right, center. "It's beautiful, you're beautiful. Your skin is the prettiest pink I've ever seen." He doesn't stop and as painful as this is, it's also extremely pleasurable. Once the initial sting wears off, it's just a slow burning heat that reminds me that not only am I alive, but that I'm the object of someone's desire.
I haven't counted so I'm surprised when he pulls me up by my hair gently and kisses me. His eyes search mine intently and satisfied with whatever he sees there he speaks.
"You did so good, baby. Hands on the bed. Spread your legs." He stands and moves to the side of me, his hand immediately going back to spanking but this time, it's light, fast and directly on the wet and swollen lips of my sex.
"Holy shit, I can't," my knees are buckling under the intense feeling but he yells to stand and I obey. "Christian!" I'm all but sobbing.
"I need this, Ana, I need you wanting and desperate, bent over for my enjoyment after the last few hours. Nobody touches what's mine, nobody looks at what's mine. Do you understand?" I will tell him anything right now.
"Yes, yes, please."
"This is my body, Anastasia. It's not to be paraded around anybody but me. Do you understand?" A strangled moan barrels out of my chest.
"Yes! I understand." Like a light bulb going off I know what it is that he wants. This is him dominating, claiming back what he felt was disrespected. I can do this. "Yes, sir, I understand."
"Fuck!" he shouts and smacks my clit one last time, yanking the balls out at the exact same moment and I spiral from a high I didn't know I was on. Wave after wave of desire surges through me, clenching and seeking something. I feel empty but only briefly. Christian grabs my hips and with one powerful upshot he buries himself as deeply as he can, a load roar filling the air around us.
The orgasm continues on, the walls of my sex finally finding the filling of his cock that I so desperately needed. He pumps in long smooth strokes, his breath coming out in little puffs and I look down to see his feet between my spread legs, and begin to build again.
"Oh god, no."
"Yes, Ana, yes." Without stopping or slowing down he leans forward and pulls my nipples, twisting and plucking at them until I'm begging again to come.
"Christian!" His hands pull away but the burn he's started travels down until the now familiar tightening begins.
"That's it baby, come around my cock again. You feel so good coming around me." His hands are bruising, his thrust brutal but the combination pushes me over the edge and I scream into the mattress below my head.
As I come back to earth Christian pulls out of me and presses his left hand flat in the middle of my shoulders to hold me down. "Mine." He says right before I feel a shot of his semen on my ass, right over where I'm sure his hand prints are. The groans of his climax bounce off of the walls, satisfying my urge to please. He came on me. On me. Am I ok with that?
"So fucking hot. Don't move." The terrycloth of the robe rubs against my skin when he cleans me. He's wiping himself off when I turn, little shivers jolting his body when he touches himself. He winks and walks the robe to the bathroom hamper, comes back to me and puts me to bed.
"You did so well, baby. Unbelievably well." His nose burrows into the back of my neck. "Did you enjoy that? I told you you'd like it." The tenseness of his arms and the way he's not looking at me can only mean one thing. He's nervous.
"I did! I'm slightly bothered that I enjoyed that but I did." Immediately he relaxes and kisses me sweetly.
"I love you, Ana. I only want to bring you pleasure, you're just going to have to trust me sometimes."
"You came on me." I say once we're both settled in and still. I'm facing away from him but his arms are circled around me tightly. He stiffens and then leans up to look at me so I roll back to meet his eyes.
"Did it bother you?" Did it?
"I'm not sure. I don't mind it I guess, maybe I'm just a bit unsettled because you didn't ask me. It just seems like something we should have talked about first." He looks surprised, to him this is no big deal. He's done this plenty of times before, enough where there is no thought behind it.
"I wanted to mark you, see my claim on your body I guess. That fucker was eye fucking you all night and it bothered the shit out of me." His voice lowers and he runs his hand over my cheek lovingly. "It wasn't meant as disrespect towards you at all, Ana. I would never disrespect you." I smile up at him.
"I know, I'm fine I promise. I just was surprised." He's not convinced so I lean up and kiss him. "I'd be happy to do it again."
"Good. That assholes got hundreds of pictures of you so I'm going to need hundreds of fucks to feel better about it." His arms circle around me again and he squeezes, inhaling the scent of my hair and sighing with contentment.
"Did you do that with all of your subs? To mark them, claim them?" He tenses again and rolls onto his back, his arms coming up and covering his eyes. Now I have to know. "Christian?"
Dropping his arms he spits out, not kindly, "Are we really going to do this? Yes, I've come on all of my subs at one time or another." My stomach twists and drops. Why did I ask? "Not because I was jealous or needed to mark them as mine like tonight but because it's part of sex sometimes. Don't make me do this after every new experience, Ana."
"Did you think of them when you did that with me though? When we do things that you've done before, do you ever remember doing it with them or compare it?" He rips the sheets off and jumps up, walking to the dresser and yanking on a pair of white cotton boxer briefs and flannel pajama pants. He looks hot as hell.
"Ana, I came on you because I was jealous as fuck. I don't like anyone, man woman or beast looking at you and that asshole was all over you. I know what he's doing tonight with those pictures and it sickens me." He's pacing in a line from one end of the bed to the other. "Fuck! I could have walked in on a sub fucking someone else and I would have been disgusted by their lack of control and pissed that they broke a contract. But I would have never been jealous because they meant next to nothing to me. You mean everything!"
I rise to my knees and keep going, if he's talking, I have things I need to hear.
"But I have no idea what I'm doing, sex, even the basic stuff is brand new. I'm just, I don't know, afraid that I seem clumsy and pathetic to you since you've been with...experts for lack of a better term."
"No I don't think of them ever." His hand tugs at his hair in frustration. "When we do things, I'm so consumed by you, by every move, sound, sight of you that there isn't room for any memories of anyone else. I am totally committed to you, Ana, even in my mind. And there is no comparison! None." He stops and stares at me, imploring me to believe him. "You are not clumsy or pathetic. You are quite honestly the sexiest woman I have ever met. Everything you do turns me on like nothing ever has. You make me feel like a virgin!"
I feel like shit and I know I shouldn't even think of these things but there are times when his experience is so obvious that it's like a slap in the face that I'm not the first or the only.
"Christian, I want to talk to Kate. Or Heather. Someone who I can tell about your previous lifestyle who can help me work through some of the issues that come up in my head." He tosses his head back and crosses his arms.
"No. You can't talk to Kate, she's dating my brother. Heather is dating the second in command on my security team. Can't you just talk to your therapist?"
"I want to talk to my girlfriends, women my age who are dating. Not an older woman wearing a wedding ring." He pinches his nose and shuts down.
"It's been a long weekend, a really great long weekend but I've got some work to get done in the office and you need to sleep. I'll be in in a little bit. We can talk about this tomorrow night after work. My parents want us to come over for dinner, we can talk on the drive." Talk about a mood shift. Fine, I need to work out this spanking stuff anyway.
"Oh. OK, that sounds lovely. Should I call your mom to see what I can bring?" Christian laughs and leans down to kiss my cheek.
"Ha! Trust me, you being there is all my mom wants. Now sleep, we'll leave at eight for GEH."
CPOV
Is this shit going to happen every time we have sex? Because if she asks me about the things I've done, she's going to be upset a lot and that is the last thing I want. I want to bring her out sexually, show her what her body can do and what it does for me, not shut her down. The truth is, I don't think about those other women, I never have really. I certainly don't think about Elena, not unless I need to throw up at least. Since the moment I laid eyes on Ana I've been consumed, obsessed, overwhelmed by her, there really is no room for anybody else.
"Good evening, Mr. Grey. Can I make you something to eat?" Gail is in the kitchen making a fruit salad for tomorrow's breakfast. I rarely have conversations with her outside of the house stuff but I need a woman's advice and, well, Gail's a woman.
"No, thanks, I'm fine. Could you do me a favor and go over the weeks menu with Ms. Steele tomorrow? I want her involved in as much of the household things as possible."
"Yes, sir, I'll get her input during breakfast."
"I understand she wants you to call her Ana?" She grins and shrugs.
"I'll call her whatever you're most comfortable with though in front of you." Sneaky girl.
"No, Ana is fine. I want her to move in. How do I make that happen?" Her eyes grow wide and I see the slight bounce of her feet showing her excitement. "Not logistically, how do I get her to want to move in?"
"Well, Ana is a lovely and warm person, the apartment is beautiful, impeccably decorated but it lacks a bit of warmth." I'm surprised by her candor and my face must show that because she covers her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that it's cold, it's just that…oh shit." Her hand flies back to her mouth and I burst into laughter.
"I've heard the word before, it's ok. So I need to warm it up? How?" She hesitates so I prod her. "Speak freely, please. If I ask Mia the entire world will know and I can't put up with her that long anyway and if I ask my mother she'll start to cry I'm sure. You're it. I need your help."
"Well, if I can speak freely than let me say that Jason and I are so very happy for you. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way and Ana is wonderful. Now, as far as the apartment, maybe some new paint to start. Let her choose some artwork for the walls, oh, and always have fresh flowers around. In your room, in the kitchen, in the foyer. Women love flowers."
"Paint, art, flowers. Got it, thank you. Could you ensure a fresh bouquet in each room then? Switch it out twice a week and no carnations." I stand and smile at her before walking to my office to get a jump start on the week ahead.
"Welch, anything on the bank?"
"No, sir. She didn't show up at all on Friday or Saturday morning. My guys watching her house reported that an Isaac Mizcat entered the property at 4pm on Friday and exited at 7pm tonight."
That sounds standard. Weekend sub. I would hate to be Isaac after my very telling lunch on Friday. I doubt he'll be able to sit for a week.
"I've been able to…secure one of the tellers at the bank to alert me when she or this red head show up and I've got two guys in the area who can mobilize immediately. Than Zurich account is problematic though. I can't get any information whatsoever on it."
"Barney's tried to hack in?"
"Sir the NSA couldn't hack into their system. He's put a filter on her email addresses, the ones we know about at least, so that any electronic correspondence will be blind copied to us. He's also set a filter on the emails going in and out of Esclava's wifi so if she has a hidden account, we can still find it."
"Excellent. I want this, Welch."
"Sir."
I upload the pictures from this weekend onto my computer, studying each one that I've taken of Anastasia. She looks so healthy, so young and vibrant, so beautiful in each one but there's one picture that stands out above the rest.
It's taken from behind but she's laughing, her head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth wide open. In it she's in the middle of cutting something, the knife still in her hand as her knees bend. I have no idea what we were laughing at because the sight of her in that white dress, barefoot on my boat, cooking and laughing stopped time for me. When I'm 100 I'll remember her like this. Happy. Carefree. Joyful.
"Mr. Brindisi, Christian Grey."
"Mr. Grey, what a pleasant surprise. I hope all is well with the pieces and your girlfriend was pleased."
"She was, they looked beautiful on her. I'd like to start looking into designing an engagement ring. Flawless diamond, emerald or square cut, nothing less than three carats, platinum band. We'll design the wedding bands together."
"Mr. Grey, let me be the first to say congratulations on finding the one. I will begin to search immediately, finding a three carat flawless is going to take some time."
"Please do let me know the minute you find one."
Ana strolls in just then in one of my t-shirts and brings me a steaming cup of tea.
"I thought I told you to go to bed." She rolls her eyes and puts the mug on the desk.
"I thought I was 22 and old enough to put myself to bed." She sips her tea, my heart rate returning to normal, I don't think she heard any of that last phone call. "I missed you." Three little words but they do so much to me.
"You did?"
"I always miss you when you're not with me. Are you going to work much longer?" I puff out some air and tug at my hair taking stock of what needs my attention.
"I've got about an hour if I rush it."
That delectable bottom lip juts out when she pouts and damn if that isn't the cutest thing I've ever seen.
"I'm going to go in the library and read then if that's ok with you."
"Why wouldn't it be ok? I want you to be totally comfortable here, Ana. I don't want you to ask me for permission, I just want you to do what you want."
Fuck that smile just melts me.
"OK." Before she shuts the door she turns and blows me a kiss, disappearing into the hallway as I fall back into my chair. She annihilates everything I ever thought I knew about myself.
Andrea has sent over a courier with documents for me to sign and the first one makes me giddy. It's the notarized copy of my business dissolution agreement with Elena Lincoln and the Esclava Chain of Salons and Spas. I sign my name with a black pen and a flourish. Good fucking riddance.
Her signature haunts me, staring back at me its blue ink coming from a pen she had to have touched. How did this happen? How did I allow myself to get sucked into business with her? How did I let her find and train my subs for me? How did I not see what we did as wrong? And how the fuck did I not see that she was still controlling me, infiltrating every aspect of my life and choking out any chance I had at happiness?
I had seen happiness in the lives of people around me. Idiots, I thought when people fell in love or got married. Love is for fools, weak individuals who were afraid of being alone. Giving your heart to someone else to care for? How was that even possible? It was a question I spent little time contemplating. I was fine with my life.
Work out, work, dinner, work, sleep. Occasionally mixing that up with fucking some woman with whom I had close to zero personal interaction. Physically the weekends fulfilled a biological need and offered the control over another human that I needed. It was enough. Until Ana came along and assassinated every single thing that I found safety in.
With nothing more than a smile, a giggle and the bite of her lip she took my preconceived notions on love and human connection and made me the fool. No matter how hard I tried to put her in that submissive box or even the one just for sex, it was always more than that with her.
She's in the library, just as she said. Her tea is cooled in the mug that she's used every morning since she started staying here. I don't know where it came from but it's not from here, that much I know. The oversized black mug has a picture of Darth Vader on it along with the Star Wars logo. Every morning she seeks it out while Gail gets breakfast plated.
She's sleeping, curled up on the couch with a book, 'Russka', by Edward Rutherfurd. My phone is in my pocket and like an addict, I take it out and take a picture of her sitting on the couch with the blanket over her knees, a book open on her lap. Absolutely adorable. Unbearably adorable.
"I can walk." She mutters when I scoop her up to carry her to my room.
"Shhh. Go back to sleep." She buries her head into my chest, right up against the place that until recently I had always thought of as empty.
"My mug! I need it for the morning."
"I'll let Gail know it's in here. Come on, bed for you." In the bedroom we brush our teeth and then she ushers me out to pee. The bed is cold and huge without her in it. "Hurry up!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your Cheerios and chillax." Watching her walk to my, our bed in just my t-shirt comforts me beyond anything I've ever known. Soak it in, Grey. One day she's going to realize she can do better. Soak it in now.
"Chillax? Is that in the same grammar family as amazeballs?"
"Yes." Instead of walking to her side of the bed she crawls over me, lifting the blanket so that I feel her skin brush over me. I'd fuck her again in a heartbeat but I'm pretty sure she's way past wanting to have sex right now.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're weird?"
Her ass nestles into the bend of my lap, my arm wrapping around her belly, the other sliding under her neck she just gives me an "Mmmm-Hmmm. Goodnight."
"Wait, one more thing. Where did you get that mug that you always drink out of?"
"I've always had it, probably since I first moved back in with Ray. Star Wars is one of my favorites and for some reason, I always felt bad for Vader, I could always connect with him." She snuggles in deeper and sighs sleepily.
"You're a lot like him. Orphaned, adopted by loving parents, raised to be a good human being and then one person comes along and takes advantage of your insecurities, exploits them and uses you for their own gain. But in the end, he does the right thing and saves the person that he loves." My heart is in my throat, the accuracy of her portrayal is startlingly parallel to my own life thus far. She yawns and pulls me even closer.
"But there are two differences between you and Vader. You were never evil, just confused and angry. And I'm no Padme. I will take down the Emperor for you, just wait and see."
Authors Note: If you don't get the Star Wars references, watch Episode 3 and then the last three movies if you can. If not, Wiki Vaders life and it lays it all out for you. Also, check out my profile page for the link to my pinterest page. I also wrote a one-shot called 'Hot and Bothered' if you're interested in reading it. And finally, thank you all so much for your encouragement! You're the best!