A/N: Well, finally, here is chapter 100. Wow, 100 chapters and four years of work. And still, it goes on, lol. This is a long chapter guys, it needed to be as it's time to move things on and start working things together.
Thank you so, so much to my partner in crime SweetSouthernComfort for your co write on this chapter. You bring something to the story that makes it super special and your writing is simply amazing!
There is no beta on this so if there are any errors then I bow in shame :)
Evil hat may have been put to bed for a spell, just have to wait and see if he pops up again :)
Thank you for all your fantastic reviews and for sticking by my marathon fic. Please keep your input coming.
So, let's go….
Chapter 100
It was just after midday when the Sidle convoy reached Maryland and the Grove. It was cold but the sun had blessed their early morning travels and it was shining brightly.
Thankfully, the final leg of the journey had passed without incident. Sara had slept most of the way only waking for the odd mumble now and then. Grissom too, although he was still very much on edge had managed to fall into slumber during the journey. He just seemed to feel so tired all the time…
Taylor's men came to a halt by the gate to the driveway, slowing the coach behind them to a stop also. Three armed men stepped in their way and prevented them access, aiming their weapons at the unknown intruders.
The captain, who was sat atop of the wagon leapt down and approached his workers. "It's just us boys," he called as he walked towards them. "Nice to see you on form but you can lower your guns."
"Oh…Captain…" the eldest guard sounded, quickly lowering his rifle. "Guns down, lads," he directed and the other two men did as told.
The ranch owner stopped in front of them. "Any developments?" he asked. "Any trouble?"
The worker shook his head. "No, Sir. Nothing. All nice and peaceful since you've been away."
"Good," the captain replied. "Let these boys through," he finished on before returning to the coach.
The captain had taken every precaution to protect his home upon leaving on his search to find his daughter. Guards were posted everywhere and patrolled twenty four hours a day. He wasn't taking any chances with McKeen out there. If the man had any sense, he would be far, far away by now but the captain wasn't about to take the risk.
He jumped back upon the coach and the small group set off up the driveway.
Sara was snuggled up to Grissom, her head upon his chest, his hand gently running over the hood keeping her head warm. "Where are we?" she suddenly mumbled, taking all inside the coach by surprise. Her eyes opened and she looked up to the man who was comforting her.
Grissom smiled. She seemed more aware…she must be to actually ask where she was. "Home, Sweetheart."
She coughed. "Home?"
He kissed her softly on the forehead. "Don't worry about where we are, okay? We are safe and we're together and that's all that matters. Just concentrate on getting well."
At the back of his mind Grissom wasn't entirely comfortable being back at the Grove. Even if just for Sara's sake considering how weak her state of mind must be. Rumors would be flying about what happened to her and he knew she wouldn't be able to cope with that if she heard it, not in her condition. She was struggling with her inner self enough.
The coach came to a slow stop and the door was opened for them. Laura and Rana exited and Grissom shifted from Sara, keeping a hold on her and slowly pulling her with him. He didn't want to hang around and needed to get her away from curious eyes and words.
He didn't fault the captain's staff. They would never say a wrong word against their employer but he had no doubt whispers would be circulating.
"Go around the back and find the kitchen boys," the captain said to Taylor's men. "Roberta will sort some food out for ya'll."
"Yes, Sir, thank you."
The group were quick to climb the steps to the house and were met by Gregory and Nicholas as they emerged through the front door. The captain had sent word through a messenger that they had found Sara but he didn't give specifics just in case the messenger happened to be set upon. So, the boys seemed quite anxious upon seeing their family members return.
"Uncle…" Nicholas began as the two boys immediately saw Sara in Grissom's arms, "…what happened? Is she alright?"
The captain gestured an arm. "Out of the way for now, boys, I will explain shortly. We need to get Sara inside and to bed."
They both watched on but did as told, stepping out the way to let Grissom enter and then they followed the returning group into the house…
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Grissom sat Sara upon her bed and gently removed the hood from her head. Laura stepped forward to take over as he felt her cheeks and forehead. Her temperature was still high but she hadn't worsened like she had the previous night.
Sara looked around, her eyes more alert than Grissom could remember since she'd gotten sick. "I know this place…" she mumbled and then she coughed. "…I think…"
Kissing her on the cheek, Grissom smiled against her skin. "Yes, you do," he whispered.
"I'd like to go riding," she sighed. "I like riding."
"I know you do," Grissom said pulling back. "Maybe when you're better, okay?"
Sniffing hard Sara waved a hand in front of her face. "Melissa must need a run…she must…it's very hot in here…"
Sighing now, Grissom looked over his shoulder to Laura. Sara obviously still wasn't with it as much as he'd hoped. Melissa had died in the fire, a fact Sara obviously wasn't recalling.
"A bath to cool her and then bed," Laura stated, moving beside Grissom. "I'll come get you when she's settled."
Biting down on his tongue Grissom nodded but then as he stepped away, he became incredibly dizzy and the room spun around him. The intense pain in his ear had suddenly returned but this time, it was worse. He held his hand to his ear and stumbled, unable to see straight.
The captain was quick to act and caught him. "Gil?" he questioned as the ranchers face contorted nothing but agony.
"Rana…here quickly, watch Sara," Laura said, leaving her daughter in the capable hands of her assistant.
Laura rushed over to her husband who seemed to be struggling to keep the heavier rancher standing. Nicolas and Gregory who had been standing outside the door hurried in to help.
"Gil, tell me what's wrong," Laura urged, placing a hand over his as he cringed and covered his ear.
"Hurts…" he groaned, blinking hard, "…So…much…aghh…." That was all Grissom managed to say. His knees buckled and he slumped to the floor barely hearing his name being called over and over in distant before everything went silent….
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Grissom's eyes slowly flickered open. He licked his lips and stared at the finely decorated ceiling. He frowned. Where the hell was he? His eyes shifted downwards and he realized he was in a bed. Upon tilting his head to left, then the right, he came to the conclusion he was in s Sidle bed. The décor was unmistakable and he was wearing brand new cotton pajamas. He knew for a fact he certainly didn't own any of those.
His head hurt, his ear buzzed. It wasn't a very comfortable feeling.
He heard whispers through the disorientation and his eyes found the door to where he saw the captain and Laura standing with David, the town doctor. They seemed to be having quite an in depth conversation.
They looked over to him and noticed he was awake. Laura smiled and approached the bed, the others following.
The lady of the house held her hand over her heart as she looked him over. "Do you have any idea how relieved I am to see you awake?"
It was a strain to hear exactly what Laura was saying to him. He pushed himself up which was more of an effort than he thought it would be and the captain moved close, aiding him to lean against the headboard.
As David stepped up to the bed Grissom's hearing suddenly righted itself, the underwater feeling disappearing but the pain remaining. He could however, hear clearly again…for the time being anyway.
Grissom suddenly thought about Sara and his eyes shot to Laura. "Sara…"
Laura smiled and placed a hand on top of the blanket which covered his body. "She's doing alright. David has already checked her over and given her a little something to aid her rest. She's doing…better but we can talk about that later. For now…I think we need to find out what is going on with you. "
"Hi, Gil," David said, placing his medical bag on the floor and sitting on the edge of the bed.
The rancher looked at the doctor as he leaned over him and explored him with his eyes.
"Can you tell me what happened?" David asked. "What pain you have?"
Instantly, Grissom placed his hand by his ear. "I've been having…pain…for a few days now. And…my hearing fades…"
Laura frowned at him as David edged closer, right up to the rancher so he could get a proper look.
"Why on earth didn't you say something?" the lady of the house asked.
Grissom sighed. "Because we had more important things to worry about than me."
She didn't seem too impressed by his response but held her tongue. "Well, we can discuss that later," she said. "But don't think I'm very happy about it."
Rolling his eyes, Grissom immediately regretted it as it didn't aid the pain in his skull.
"I saw that," Laura remarked.
He half grinned.
"Let's take a look at you…" David said, cupping Grissom's face.
Grissom allowed the doctor to examine him. First he checked his glands, then his throat and eyes before moving to his ears.
Have you been having problems with your balance, Gil?" David asked, looking into each ear in turn.
Wincing a little, Grissom licked his dry lips. "A little," he admitted, "Just the last day or so."
"Hmmm…" David stood back, looking down at his patient. "It's possible you could have caught Sara's pneumonia, but thankfully, I don't think so. I suspect you have a nasty inner ear infection. All the symptoms seem to allude to that, plus, it's pretty obvious how exhausted you are, so your body has become quite weak." He rummaged around in his bag. "Have you been spending a lot of time outside…in the wind?"
"Most days," Grissom admitted. "Way of life…"
David nodded his understanding and pulled a small glass vial from his bag.
"So what do you recommend, David? Is he going to be okay?" the captain asked.
"If he looks after himself," the doctor answered. "He needs to rest for I'd say at least a week. Lots of bed rest, minimal cold, no going outside in the wind if possible and the less stress the better…"
"Easy for you to say," Grissom muttered. He wasn't a man who liked to be told he had to rest.
Laura folded her arms across her chest. "You will do as you are told," she said firmly.
Grissom frowned at her.
"Don't look at me like that," she warned on half a smile. "You are my daughter's future husband are you not? And in her current state she needs her man to be strong and live up to his expectations…correct me if I'm wrong…"
Now the captain looked to her with a frown.
"Oh stop, Thomas," she chided.
David cleared his throat. "Anyway…" he held up the vial. "…this is some medicinal oil. Heat it and then slip two drops into your ear three times a day but make sure it gets right in there. It may sting but you have to let it take effect and…your body in its weakened state will now be susceptible to illness, so be careful. You may have to limit your time around Sara for risk of catching her virus."
Grissom's eyes widened at that suggestion. He had no intention of keeping his distance from Sara.
He handed the bottle to Laura and she inspected it. "Will this work?" she asked.
David buckled his bag and stood. "I hope so but he needs to look after himself also."
"I'll make sure he does," she replied on a smile. "Isn't that right, Gil?"
Grissom squirmed at the prospect of being 'looked after' but for now he agreed. "Yes, Ma'am."
"Well…" David picked up his bag, "…I have lots of calls so I'd better be off. I'll be back tomorrow to check on both our patients but if you have any problems you know where to find me."
"Thank you, David," Laura said gratefully.
He smiled.
"I'll show you out," the captain said, gesturing to the door.
Grissom watched as David exited the room with the captain but he could feel Laura glaring at him. Slowly he looked at her, pulling on his sheet a little nervously.
"You should have said something," she began. "I knew something was off with you."
The rancher nibbled on his bottom lip. "Like I said, we had Sara to worry about…that was enough."
Placing the medicine on the bed side table, Laura stepped closer. "But now…you're going to let us worry about you also aren't you?"
"I don't need…"
"Yes you do," she stopped him. "Stop being so stubborn. You and Thomas are so similar it's scary."
Grissom managed a grin. "Fine," he sighed. "I'll rest but…I'd like to see Sara first."
Laura hesitated in thought.
"I know what David said but you know I can't be kept from her. I don't care what the risk is."
She offered him a smile. "I know..."
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Grissom sat by Sara's bed. He felt odd dressed in the unfamiliar clothing. First the pajamas and now a robe that kept him warm which more than likely belonged to the captain. He'd feel happier if he was wearing his own attire but he was grateful for what he was given.
He kinked his head from side to side. Laura had not long since applied drops of his ear medicine. That was her condition of him being allowed in to see Sara so soon. He couldn't argue with her. His ear felt uncomfortable but his headache had slackened some.
Sara slept peacefully, her breathing haggard but as clear as he'd heard it for some time. He wasn't quite sure what Doctor Phillips had given her but it certainly was making her sleep soundly. As he reached a hand to her hair, to slip a stray strand behind her ear, he noticed her cheeks weren't quite as crimson now. Her lips moved and she gently sighed which made him smile.
The rancher sat by her for almost an hour until the bedroom door opened and Laura entered with Rana. The housekeep carried a tray and the smell of chicken broth immediately caught his nostrils.
Rana placed the tray down on the dresser and left.
"Time for you to eat something," Laura said, ladling some of the broth into a bowl and holding it out to Grissom. "And then rest…it's getting late."
Looking at the bowl of nutritional liquid, Grissom hesitated but his stomach rumbled.
"Come on, Gil," Laura urged. "You must be starving. Please try…"
Grissom took the bowl, scooped up a spoonful of the broth and slipped it into his mouth. It was good and went down much easier than he was expecting. He was quick to have another spoonful, then another.
"Good?"Laura asked taking bread from the tray and offering it to him.
Grissom nodded. "Yes, Ma'am," he replied taking the bread.
She smiled and checked over her daughter while Grissom ate. "She's much cooler," she said, feeling Sara's temperature. "Hopefully, now she's settled, she's on the road to recovery…"
"I pray so," Grissom responded, finishing the last mouthful of broth. "Her color is better too so I'm hopeful."
Laura looked into his bowl and grinned. "Hungry are we? A little more?" She took the bowl from him and before he could even reply she was spooning more hot, tasteful broth into the dish. She handed it to him, along with another piece of bread and he took it without argument. It was quite delicious.
"Thank you."
She nodded. "Just make sure you finish it."
He smiled but he faltered when Sara mumbled.
"You eat…" Laura commanded, placing a hand on his shoulder," "…I'll check her…"
Grissom continued to eat but watched on closely as Laura hovered over her daughter. Sara's eyes popped open and she sneezed.
Sara stared at her mother.
"Hi, baby," Laura said, pulling Sara's sheet loose and helping her to sit up a little, puffing up her pillows.
Sara looked to Grissom in mid spoon and he smiled after swallowing. He edged forward, scooped up another spoonful of broth and offered it to her. "Hungry?"
Licking her lips, Sara nodded. "Yes," she whispered and eagerly took the spoonful of broth into her mouth.
Both Laura and Grissom smiled in unison at her reply. Not just for taking the food, especially because it had chicken in it but seeming cohesive enough to admit she was hungry.
Laura gently pushed Grissom's hand away. "That's yours…I'll get some for Sara."
Grissom got the message but gave Sara another spoonful of his broth as Laura stepped away.
"Hey, I saw that," Laura remarked as she filled a bowl for Sara.
The rancher grinned and sat back.
Sara waited silently until her mother returned with the bowl of steaming goodness. The broth was good and she wanted more. She eagerly opened her mouth when her mother sat on the bed and ate every spoonful of broth that was offered to her.
Laura, every now and then would wipe her daughters mouth on a napkin as some of the liquid would escape her mouth to dribble down her chin.
It took Sara about ten minutes to finish the broth but she did, all of it. Grissom waited patiently while she did and once her bowl was empty she leaned back against the pillows and sighed contently.
"More?" Laura asked but Sara shook her head.
Still, Laura smiled and squeezed her daughter's hand. "You did very well."
Sara turned her head and looked to her man as he watched her.
Laura stood and cleared away the empty dishes while Grissom just offered the woman he loved a genuine smile. However, the ranchers smile faltered when Laura came up behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Time for you to rest now, Gil," she said to him.
He looked over his shoulder at her and pouted.
"Don't give me that look," she warned. "We have an agreement remember? You can spend time with Sara as long as you look after yourself and do as you're told. Time to rest. She will be well looked after…you know that."
Sighing, Grissom pushed himself to his feet and leaned over his love. "You're doing well," he said, brushing a soft hand through her hair. "Keep strong…for me…okay?"
Unexpectedly, Sara lifted a hand to his face and it startled him, just a little. "For you…" she answered.
His lips blossomed a smile as she rubbed her thumb over his cheek. "You need a shave," she whispered.
Grissom felt tears stinging his eyes. Was his Sara back?
Leaning more into her he brushed his cheek right over hers. The feel of her skin, no matter how warm, was amazing. He felt her hands slide up his back and hold on. It felt so good. "Sleep well, sweetheart, and I'll see you in the morning," he sighed into her.
Pulling back he looked into her eyes just as they began to drift closed. He kissed her on the forehead and stepped away.
His face was glowing as he approached Laura.
"Did you see that?" he asked. "She's… she…"
She smiled. "I saw…she's coming back to us…"
Grissom puffed a relieved breath. "I hope so."
Laura pointed to the door. "Bed," she ordered.
"Yes, Ma'am," he answered and was about to leave but stopped. "Oh…I forgot, what happened to Dante is he…"
"Relax…" Laura began, "…he's spending a comfortable evening in the barn with Pandora. Conrad is taking care of him."
The rancher's right brow soared. "Conrad? Really?"
"That's right, he seemed keen to help."
Grissom tightened the belt around his robe. "Well…I'm not so sure how Dante will respond to that."
Laura grinned. "He seemed quite calm about it actually."
"Oh…"
Laura laughed and slipped an arm around his waist. "Come, stop worrying…I have a very good feeling that everything is going to work out just fine…"
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Two weeks later…
A sharp chill was in the air.
She shouldn't have been surprised and yet she shivered anyway as she made her way down the porch's front steps. It was nearly Halloween and Sara could see the workers as they prepared the Grove for the annual Sidle family Halloween celebration. It was a tradition that even predated her own birth. Every year, her father would decorate the house and yard for a hayride and dinner. He would invite the entire town and it was always one of the happiest times of her life. Sara could remember the celebrations of her youth, dressing up and pretending to scare the adults, running amongst the trees with Nicolas, Gregory, Wendy, Sofia and...Hank.
She had played with Hank... They, after all, had been friends since childhood.
She shivered again but it had nothing to do with the cold. If she had foreseen what he would have become…
Lost in thought, she didn't see Grissom approaching her at first but when her eyes did finally catch him she noted his cheeks were slightly pink from the bite of the wind. Sara thought it made him look endearing and adorable but she didn't think he'd appreciate her sentiments. Endearing and adorable weren't exactly compliments a man wanted attributed to him.
"Good morning," he said softly. "Should you be out?"
She finally gave him a soft smile. "Gil, it's fine. I'm going crazy sitting in the house." It was mostly true but not entirely. It wasn't the house disturbing her as much as it was her own thoughts. However, Sara felt that a refreshing walk early in the morning might refresh her body, mind and spirit. "I just felt like a walk…"
"Can I go with you?"
"Sure, if you don't have something more pressing to do."
He frowned as his eyes scanned her choice of shawl and dress. "I don't think you're wearing enough to keep you warm. You are still recovering, Sara." Quickly, he shucked off his own heavier jacket and started to drape it around her shoulders. "Put this on."
"Grissom…" she protested. "Now you'll get sick. You need to be careful with your ear…"
"I seldom get sick, that was just a one off, besides, I've already broke a sweat from working." He continued to place her arms in the sleeves, smiling as he noticed how his jacket swallowed her. Her eyes peered at him dazedly and it made him want to kiss her.
He settled for holding her hand, frowning when it already felt cold in his. He almost chastised her for this as well but decided not to. The sleeves of his jacket were long enough that they extended past Sara's fingers so that gave him some reassurance.
She moved forward and he followed her, quickly gaining the slight lead. Sara was immensely better than she had been at his cabin a fortnight ago and he no longer feared imminent death but he couldn't delude himself into thinking that she was completely recovered. Full recovery would take weeks, perhaps months and Bob had warned him that permanent scarring was probable. Sara's lungs would always be weaker because of the pneumonia; however, she could expect a near normal life.
If she didn't relapse from walking about in the morning dampness without a proper coat that was...
He expected weakness during this period and he wasn't mistaken. Sara didn't have much stamina or endurance though she was doing considerably better in the last few days. He expected her to be pale and she was; however, this did not mar her beauty in the least. No, physically, she was progressing as predicted and this did much to reassure him of her eventual recovery.
It was the sadness in her eyes that bothered him. That, and the fact that she always seemed so exhausted.
Outwardly, she went through the motions. She ate regularly, though not much, exercised and he was assured she was resting though she didn't look like she had. But the life that was in her eyes before, was missing. True, she wasn't as despondent as she was that horrible night he rescued her and that was a blessed relief. It wasn't as if she was being disinterested, a fact that Laura had pointed out to him shortly after they had returned to the Grove.
She would smile, albeit sadly and interact with her family, although that interaction was limited. No, it was a gentle melancholy that was so disturbing to him. Grissom longed to hear her laugh again.
Give it time, everyone had assured him. And he was trying to. More than anything he wanted Sara's health restored, physically, mentally, and emotionally. That, he was more than willing to wait for, but there was uneasiness in Sara's demeanor that bothered him. The Captain and he had finally started making amends, enough to where Grissom finally had the older man's blessing to properly court Sara….once she was well. Normally, he would have been overjoyed to share this news with Sara but the sadness had stopped him.
"Do you like the decorations?" he asked her.
"Yes…" Another sad smile. "I do. I always have loved the holidays, all of them. I'm happy the pumpkin crop was good."
Grissom pointed at some large pumpkins by the fence. "It was and we've placed them in several places. We've stuffed some scarecrows and placed some corn husks too. Very festive, I think. Also, Honey, the horse breeding program is finally off the ground. Your father and I are going to look at some horses for sale later today, see if there are any worth buying."
"That's nice." Sara shivered again but she wasn't sure why. "Rana and Mother are already fawning over the Halloween party. And Nicolas is thinking of proposing to his beau so Mother's all emotional at the idea of a…..wedding. She lives for weddings….and holidays."
"Right," he replied, giving her a genuine smile of his own. "And for the first time…in a long time…I'm looking forward to them. The Halloween party, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years." He squeezed her hand. "I have you to celebrate them with and maybe we can make some happy memories. Seems like we've had enough sad ones lately."
For the briefest of moments, the light was back in her eyes. A smile, a real one, tugged at the corners of her mouth before something deep inside her seemed to remind her of more troubling things.
She peered at him before turning away. Her eyes were unreadable.
Sara breathed in softly, smelling the crispness of the air and the light scent of Grissom's soap. This wasn't the first hint that he'd dropped about the two of them and Sara wasn't naïve enough not to guess his intentions.
Her heart should be leaping with happiness at the thought of them curled up in front of the fire making nice holiday memories but it only thudded painfully in her chest. He loved her, of that she had absolutely no doubt. That she loved him back was something that she knew intrinsically. And now that the obstacles had been all but removed, apart from the allusive Colonel McKeen still being out there somewhere…it should be natural that they should marry. Despite the fact that she had lost their child, her father would, she knew, fully expect Grissom to still do the right thing. The growing respect between the two men would just sweeten the deal.
Except there was a problem…a big one.
Hank's attack had made Sara, in her own eyes, unsuitable for marriage. Her mother knew about it and tried to talk to her about it but Sara couldn't stand to hear her words. The bruises left behind by that attack were all but healed, only faint shadows suggested they had even existed at all.
If only her mind could forget as her body would. And Sara feared, genuinely feared, that word would get out anyway. She was right…
McKeen's capture and eventual escape kept the town gossips tongues wagging. Some of the former servants certainly didn't mind spilling the secrets of McKeen and Hank's bad behaviors. For her part, Sara had kept silent on what she had seen and heard, except to Jim Brass, who had interviewed her a week ago. Even then she had left some details of the story conspicuously absent, but Brass was no fool…
"Are you sure that's all that happened, Sara?" Brass had said then, after she had related the story of her kidnapping and rescue to him.
"Yes, Sir," she answered meekly.
"Sara, I know how people like Hank think." Brass' eyes were tender. "I don't think he'd take too kindly to you breaking that engagement."
"He didn't," Sara replied. "That is why he kidnapped me, and why he hit me."
"Is that all he did?" Brass pushed.
"Of course," Sara bit her lip. "Isn't that enough?"
"It is if you're telling the entire truth." Brass reached for her hand. "Except I know you're not. And I know that no one says no to any of the McKeen's. And you were brave enough to say no. Hank would have made sure…."
Sara couldn't bear for him to go on. She wept in front on him, wiping her eyes on the handkerchief he provided. "Please don't say anything else."
"I think I know all I need to know." Brass squirmed in his chair. "And you have my word, Sara, that I won't tell about that. But unfortunately for you, McKeen's former servants may not be so discreet."
It was only a few days later when Brass' prediction was verified. While out shopping with her mother, Sara had an encounter with the shopkeeper's daughter, a smart but acidic girl named Hannah.
"How are you doing?" Hannah had asked pertly.
"Good, thanks for asking," Sara had replied.
"Well I hear that you had quite the experience." Hannah's hands were on her hips. "I'm glad to see you are better. Are you going to Sunday School next week?"
"I plan to," Sara said softly.
"Good, I'm teaching the women's class. I chose 2nd Samuel chapter 13," Hannah said proudly. "I chose it with you specifically in mind. You don't want to miss it."
Sara's eyes widened. Before….before she might have thought of a brilliant retort. Today, she stood in front of the smirking Hannah slack-jawed and wide eyed.
"Sara, are you ready?" Laura asked, approaching from behind.
"I was just extending a special invite to Sara for the Bible class I'm teaching on Sunday." Hannah flashed her most innocent smile. "I feel the Spirit moved me to teach this particular topic and I sure want everyone to come."
"We'll be there," Laura assured her.
"Hey," Grissom said softly.
"Huh?" Sara looked up. "I'm sorry, Gil. What were you saying?"
"I want you to be my date for the Halloween party," Grissom said almost bashfully. "And before you ask, your father has given his blessing. I asked him yesterday."
"Oh, well. Yes, but I don't want you to think that you have to take me. I mean after everything that has happened between us….I don't want you to be obligated."
Grissom shook his head. "That's crazy, Sara." His voice dropped low. "You know I love you."
She paled. "Yes."
"And I know you love me."
"Of course, I do."
"Then why would I want to take anyone else?" he asked, staring deeply in her eyes.
She swallowed. "Because you'll find out," her mind screamed. "You'll find out, Gil. The whispers around town about what happened to me will eventually find your ear. And when they do, you'll know. You will know what happened hours before you saved me. And then you'll leave, which you probably should. You'll go back to Alexandria and your old life, except I won't follow you this time. Just like Tamar in 2nd Samuel, I will live my life in shame. I may not wear a sackcloth or put ashes on my hair but I'll live in shame nonetheless. Even if you accepted me anyway and I know you're the kind of man who might….I can't bear to see you and my family's reputations compromised because of my shame. So either you'll leave or I'll be forced to send you away. And that won't even be the worst of it. The worst, is knowing that I've lost you again but this time you won't come back.
"Are you tired, honey?" he was asking her now.
She stepped forward and into his arms, laying her head upon his shoulder. His arms immediately went around her, holding her close to him. Only then, did she allow the single tear to slide down her cheek and innocently into his coat that she wore. She relished the feel of his embrace, the solidness of his chest…and she wondered if this was the last time she would ever feel it. She loved him so deeply that it terrified her to think of him leaving her again and yet she expected it and half wanted him to. He needed someone worthy of him and his love.
She thought back of the summer, how he felt so unworthy of her. And now he was the worthy one...
*** "What did you say?"
"You can bear a little more light?"
"I must bear it, if you let it in." ***
*** - Extract taken from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
A/N: :( Poor Sara, she really is struggling... Can she overcome her mental state? What's next?
Review please.