Honeymoon, Part II
Sarah spread mousse into Noah's hair and combed it to the side. She held him at arm's length and examined her work.
"Handsome," she said to herself.
She finished buttoning the tiny white oxford shirt and asked Noah which tie he wanted to wear.
"Blue one."
Sarah plucked the blue tie from several hanging from a hook on the wall. "Do we need to put your badge on, too?"
"No, Sarah, no police badge on a date."
Sarah smiled and kissed him, happy he was playing along. Earlier that day, she picked Noah up from day care and announced they were going to get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant for a dinner date. At the last minute, Brooke decided to go, which was fine, but Sarah made her promise to wear something other than casual clothes.
Sarah expertly knotted Noah's tie, tucked in the shirt, buckled his belt, and searched for shoes. "No, where are the shoes you wore to the wedding?"
Noah, apparently afraid to move and muss his outfit or hair, pointed to the bed but otherwise stood still. "Under there."
"Good boy. We'll get your shoes tied, then take a picture, and then, off we go!" She announced with a flourish.
"Off we go!" Noah mimicked.
…
Brooke was already seated at a table for three when Noah and Sarah arrived. She broke into laughter when she saw their formal attire. Brooke wore her work clothes, a light sweater over a silky blouse and slacks which she figured would be dressy enough to satisfy her sister's request.
"Sake, please," Sarah ordered from the overly attentive waiter, "and a, um, do you have some type of juice for the young man?" She took his sippy cup from her purse. "I'll put it in this." He nodded and walked briskly away.
"You two look nice," Brooke complimented.
"Thank you. We spent hours prepping. Including manicures."
"No you didn't."
"Yes we did. Noah, show Brookey your hands."
Noah and Sarah both held up their hands and, sure enough, their nails were trimmed, buffed, and Sarah's were painted with a pale pink polish.
Brooke just shook her head and moved on, "You really think he's gonna eat sushi?"
"Maybe. But they have tempura and noodles just in case."
"Have you heard from Liv and Dad today?"
Sarah took a sip of the sake. "I just sent them a pic of the two of us, but they haven't responded yet."
"They'll call later."
"Yeah, right now Dad's probably," Sarah covered Noah's ears under the guise of hugging him tightly and hissed, "fucking her brains out."
Brooke's eyes popped out of her head, "Sarah!"
"Oh, come on, you know how they are."
"How are they?"
Sarah tapped the table with chopsticks. "You've met them. They're always touching each other and when they look at each other..."
"What?"
Sarah was growing frustrated with what she perceived as Brooke's lack of cooperation, "Even if they're talking about…the weather…it's like, they want to devour each other right there. Dad's totally…what's the word? Enamored."
"You're crazy."
Sarah downed the rest of her sake, "Let's ask Noey."
"Noah, is Sarah crazy?" Brooke asked.
Sarah gave her sister a playful punch, "Not that. We know I'm crazy. Noah, does Daddy love Mommy?"
"Yes."
"How much?" Sarah held her hands about an inch apart. "This much? Or," she held her arms way out, wingspan fully extended, "This much?"
Noah imitated the second movement, "This much!" He said excitedly.
"See?" Sarah sassed.
"I think there are some holes in your research, but I get it," Brooke said flatly, "Still, I don't like to think about Dad…you-know-whatting her brains out."
"I do. I think it's hot."
"You're so weird," Brooke said lovingly, "And lay off the drinks. You're still playing mommy, remember?"
…
Sarah's assumption, at that moment anyway, was not accurate. When she sent the selfie of she and Noah decked out for dinner, Ed and Olivia were a few miles off shore on a snorkeling expedition. When they docked and reconnected with the world, a litany of chimes and vibrations ensued as their messages rolled in.
"Look!" Olivia exclaimed and shoved her phone in Ed's face, "They're adorable!"
Ed grinned. How could anyone not grin? The photo was taken in the kitchen. Noah was sitting on the counter and had his head cocked towards Sarah. He gave the camera his own little smirk, slightly bashful but also tinged with wisdom, as if to tell his parents that he, too, knew Sarah was a little bit nuts. Sarah dressed him in charcoal-colored pants, the white shirt and blue tie, and his pant legs were scrunched up just enough to reveal multicolored striped socks that Sarah must have purchased. They were unfamiliar to Ed and Olivia.
Handsome guy, beautiful lady, Olivia texted back. Sarah responded immediately with another photo, this one from the restaurant and of all three of them, probably taken by the waiter.
"Oh, my…they have him eating sushi."
"What?" Ed motioned for her to show him the screen. "Wow. He's actually eating it." Sure enough, Noah was in mid-bite, not looking at all intimidated by the unfamiliar cuisine. Olivia was zooming in, ogling at the photo, but Ed was suddenly alarmed. "Is it ok for him to have sushi?"
Olivia brushed off the concern, "He's not allergic to seafood."
"But…raw?"
"They seem to be ok…doesn't bad sushi hit you almost immediately?"
"I don't know…I've only had it a few times and not by choice." Ed sent his own text, this one to Brooke. Are you sure it's safe for him to eat raw fish?
We asked the waiter and he said it was fine, but we're just giving him the cooked ones just in case
"Those two…" Ed trailed off.
Olivia snuggled up to him as they walked back towards the hotel. "They're precious."
"Right," he replied sarcastically, "One intentionally works in hell and the other one, well, is so spastic—"
He was interrupted by Olivia choking out a bit of laughter. "Spastic?" This was not a word she would have figured Tucker had in his vocabulary.
He reddened at the teasing, "Yes. What other word is there for her?"
Olivia thought, "She's…intense. Passionate. Everything she does, she really puts her all into it. I love that about her."
"I don't think she's putting her all into her marriage."
She swallowed hard. Ed had remained distant from Sarah's marital problems; he wasn't completely in the dark, but he sensed not all was well with Sarah Tucker Matthews. Olivia began to wonder if maybe she'd underestimated him—perhaps he knew more than he let on. "How do you mean?"
"She's always here, well, always in New York."
"Jeff's been away a lot."
"Something's not right," he muttered. Ed had known something was wrong from the beginning, from the time Sarah showed up unexpectedly for Noah's birthday party. Olivia assured him that her reservations were merely cold feet; she was planning a New York wedding from Philadelphia while working in a high-stress job, and she was exhausted. At the time, Ed accepted this. It made sense, and with Christmas and his own wedding, he hadn't thought about it until recently.
They walked two or three blocks in silence, still arm-in-arm, but there was an odd emotional distance between the two of them, an unsettling vibe that neither Ed nor Olivia could remember feeling before.
Ed ushered her down the next side street and made a couple of turns, trying to remember the route he'd looked up earlier.
"Where are we going?" Olivia asked.
"You'll see. It's just," Ed paused and gathered his bearings, "Yeah, I think it's just up here. Yep, there it is."
"What am I looking at?"
"The Hemingway House. And look! It's on the corner of Whitehead Street and Olivia Street." Ed rattled off facts about Hemingway—how he hated the Depression-era idea to turn Key West into a tourist mecca, how his wife put in a pool at the house while he was away and he came back "pissed." They walked along the brick-walled perimeter, visiting hours were over, peering in at the gardens and what they could see of the house's architecture.
"He was married four times," Ed remarked. "Survived two plane crashes. Lived through two world wars. Drank too much. Spent the rest of his life in misery. His wife sent him for electroshock therapy. Then he blew his brains out."
Alarmed by his sudden turn towards the sinister and noticing the pain in Ed's eyes, she stopped strolling and leaned him into the wall. "Ed? What's going on?
He tried to avoid her eyes. "Will you do me a favor?"
"Of course."
"I hate to ask you to do this."
"What is it?"
He stared at the ground and kicked at some imaginary object with a flip-flopped foot. "Will you talk to her?"
Now it was Olivia's turn to tread lightly. Um, I sort of already have.
She rubbed his arm, "I will."
"I just don't want her to be miserable. Even if…even if it means she and Jeff split up. I'd rather have that than have her hate her husband and hate her life…and feel like she has to put up this façade that everything's ok."
"I know."
His eyes were pleading now, as if Sarah's uncertainties were now, somehow, theirs, "I'm sorry, I don't want to—"
"Stop." She was firm but loving. "Do you remember, the night I said I would marry you? Remember what you said to me? Let's be family?"
The anguish faded slightly from his face. "Yeah."
"Sarah needs help," she said softly, pulling him closer, trying to meet his gaze. "And that's what family is for. I love her. I want to be there for her."
Ed sighed, "She's always been impulsive…does things without thinking. It drives me crazy. She's so smart, I just wish she thought more…rationally…or thought at all." He smiled slightly at the exaggeration.
Relived that he seemed to be calming down, Olivia moved closer, "How about," she played with the buttons on his polo, "We go to the hotel and call New York…and then we order dinner in? Something light? Bottle of wine? And then," she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, "I want to make you totally relax…so you forget," she kissed him again, "about anything other than right here, right now, and how much I love you."
…
Olivia had to redial three times before Sarah finally accepted the Face Time call.
"Sorry," she said with a smile, "I was drying Noey's hair. Livvie, you have the best water pressure here. I thought I was going to dent his skull with the shower head."
"Good thing, huh?" Ed muttered, "To get all the goop out of his hair."
Sarah walked back into Noah's bedroom where he was picking out a book. "It didn't take that long," she replied, "and it wasn't that much!" She fixed the phone's camera on Noah who was still oblivious to what was going on. "Noey, look!"
"Mama!"
"Hi sweet boy! Daddy's here too, see?" Olivia turned the camera towards Ed.
"Hi Dada!"
"Hey bud!"
"We saw pictures from your date tonight, Noah," Olivia cooed, "They're so nice. Did you have fun?"
"I wear tie and eat sooooshi."
Ed asked if he liked the sushi and Noah nodded vigorously.
"Well, that can be your thing to do with Sarah," Ed concluded, smirking into the screen.
"What book are you reading tonight?" Olivia asked.
Noah struggled to hold up his book of choice, "This one, Mommy, this one with the puppy, the pig, and the rabbit, and, and, Dada what's the other one?"
"The owl," Ed finished.
Sarah couldn't see it, but Olivia moved her hand to Ed's thigh just then and squeezed it. With her working so much, story time had become mostly a Daddy-Noah event recently and Ed had near-encyclopedic knowledge of Noah's library. Marveling at the contrast between IAB Captain Tucker and Ed-as-Daddy never got old as far as Olivia was concerned, and she found it amusing to picture him relentlessly interrogating a rogue cop at work and then coming home to read about puppies, pigs, rabbits, and owls while sitting with Noah in the rocker.
"The owl," Noah repeated, "Sarah gonna read. You read to me tomorrow?" Noah put his face close to the camera so his entire face filled Olivia's screen.
Olivia blew him a kiss, "We're coming home tomorrow night, but you'll be asleep. Sarah will read you one more story tomorrow, and then we'll be home."
"Wait 'till you see what we bought you, bud," Ed said brightly, noticing Noah's face contort into a pout. Sure enough, the promise of presents erased it.
"Sarah, we land at ten-thirty tomorrow," Olivia informed her, "If you have to get back home, Amanda offered to take Noah."
Sarah waved off the suggestion, "No, no, I'm good. I've actually gotten a lot done while he's at school."
"Liv," Ed whispered, "I think the food's here."
"Ok," Olivia said, "We're going to have dinner now. Noah, you keep being good for Sarah!"
"I will."
"Love you, sweet boy."
"Love you, Mommy.
Ed dropped the food on a side table and rushed over to say goodbye, "Love you bud. Love you Sare. See you soon."
Sarah and Noah waved and said more "I love yous" before ending the call.
"Let's eat out on the balcony," Ed suggested, "Wanna light the candles, and I'll bring everything out?"
Olivia grabbed the heavy matchbook, emblazoned with the B & B's crest. "It's a date."
…
Sarah read Noah the book entitled Waiting and then indulged the little boy's request for one more.
"Quick one," he said slyly, as if he'd used that phrase before and knew how cute and persuasive it was.
"Let's do Goodnight Moon," she suggested. That's my favorite.
"Ok, Sarah, I get Bernie though." Noah scampered to his bed and fetched Bernie and his fleece blanket. He climbed into Sarah's lap and snuggled up to her as she read from the tattered copy which had obviously been handled multiple times.
When she finally got to "Good night noises everywhere," Noah was fast asleep, and his entire weight bore down on Sarah as she continued to rock him. She wanted to attempt to reach her phone to take a picture and send it to Jeff, but her phone was in the living room and she didn't want to mislead her husband into thinking she was ready for children. In fact, taking care of Noah had assured her she was most definitely not prepared for motherhood. She thought about Olivia's high-stress, almost 24-7 job, and wondered how she'd managed as a single mother. Sarah wasn't even really working this week, she was tackling some projects from home, and Noah went to day care for half the day. Even so, she was still physically exhausted from chasing him around and mentally worn out from worrying every second that she was taking good enough care of him. She cautiously smiled to herself as she imagined her father's reaction to a Noah-related misstep.
It's not Olivia I'm concerned about; if Dad thinks I did something wrong he'll kill me.
Congratulating herself for dressing him in his pajamas before he fell asleep (two nights she forgot and had to change him out of his regular clothes as he snoozed), she gently placed him in his bed and tucked his comforter around him. She laid Bernie and the favorite fleece parallel to his body, made sure the night light was plugged in, and turned off the overhead light.
Back in the kitchen, she inspected their wine rack and chose a Chardonnay.
Just one glass to unwind, she told herself. Just one glass.
….
Ed and Olivia uncorked a second bottle of wine and made their way to the large chaise lounges on the Bed and Breakfast's private beach. Ed spread out on one, and Olivia went to take another beside him, but he objected.
"Hey," He said in a sharp, clipped tongue, "Benson, over here."
With mock chagrin, she smiled at him. I should've known better.
"Cheers."
"Shhhh," she warned as they lightly touched glasses, "We're supposed to have plastic only out here."
He brushed off the concern. "We're the police."
"We're a little far from our jurisdiction."
"It's late. There's nobody around."
Olivia nestled more deeply into Ed's side, "I'm surprised you wanted to come down here," she said, her voice partially muffled by his chest.
"It's our last night. I wanted to be here with you and the waves and the breeze one last time."
"Are you ready to go home?"
"That's not a fair question."
Olivia let him off the hook. "I'll make it easy. I like us best at home in New York."
Ed kissed the side of her head. "My thoughts exactly."
Before Ed came along, Olivia only sporadically travelled, and, although she enjoyed seeing new places and experiencing new things with him, she, like Ed, was a city person at heart. This was one of the reasons it was taking to long for them to find a larger place. New York real estate prices were astronomical, but neither one of them wanted to compromise. They were not leaving Manhattan, and they didn't want to drift too far away from their current location.
"And of course, I can't wait to see Noah," Olivia murmured.
"I miss him." Ed sounded hesitant.
"Why are you saying it like that?"
For the second time that day, Ed felt awkward, detached, and a little nervous in her presence. They were usually so emotionally in sync, and now he had to explain his feelings, something he preferred not to do. It was easier when they were on the same page. "Liv, I know we've probably beaten this subject to death…but, lately, Noah's been so clingy with me…I just want to make sure, you're…not hurt by that."
Olivia hesitated, gathering her thoughts. "I'm not hurt…but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me sometimes. But, it's my guilt, really, and I felt guilty about not being there for him before…us." She saw her answer wasn't quite satisfying him and she slinked up his torso so she could kiss him on the lips. "You have never hurt me. And you've never hurt Noah. Thanks to you, he has two parents who love him, and I think I read somewhere it's normal for kids to be partial to one parent at certain times."
Ed let out a long breath. "I'm glad to hear you say that."
"And, speaking of our kids, I'll try and talk to Sarah before she leaves. I know that's bothering you."
"Yeah, well," Again, Ed was treading in uncomfortable territory, "There's another part to that."
"Tell me." Olivia abandoned her glass in the sand and used the hand that wasn't tucked under her body to caress Ed's chest.
He took a deep breath. "Marital problems, ya know? I don't like to think about it."
Perhaps thanks to the hours spent in Lindstrom's office, Olivia's reply was quick and decisive, "Her problems are not ours."
"Yeah, I know."
"And they won't somehow become ours just because we're discussing it. She's your daughter, Ed. You have a right to be worried about her. And I'm your wife. You're supposed to talk to me about things like this. I want you to."
He refilled his glass, spilling a little on the chaise, and drank, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Olivia's head rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. Melancholy Ed Tucker was someone who did not show up very often, but when he did make an appearance, it was challenging to wrestle him from the funk.
"Listen," she commanded in the voice she usually reserved for victims, "I will talk to her. Thursday morning, I'll take her to breakfast and then drop her at Penn Station. You and Noah can sleep late."
"Ok."
"Hey," she nudged his chin with a knuckle, "I love you."
"You're just trying to get me to smile," he whined, "But I love you, too.
Okaaaayyy, Mr. Difficult.
"I don't have to tell you I love you in order to get you to smile," she taunted him.
"Really," he deadpanned, trying but failing to be aloof. "Whaddya got?"
She ran her fingers as far down his leg as she could reach and then back up to his neck, then his face, tracing the outline of his cheekbones. "What if I told you how handsome you are?"
"You're gonna have to do better than that."
She began kissing his neck and bit a little at his earlobe. She pulled away, looking for a reaction. Still, his lips remained pursed; however, she caught an amused glint in his eyes. Olivia took his glass and set it in the sand next to hers. "What if…I told you to make love to me right here?"
That elicited an outburst of boisterous laughter. "Ten minutes ago you were worried about our glasses making too much noise." He put one arm around her waist and clasped the back of her head with the other hand, "Come here."
Olivia, for as independent and strong as she was, relished Tucker taking control. She loved the feel of his firm arms around her body, clutching her tightly, promising security and protection.
He kissed her deeply, tasting the wine and the chocolate-dipped strawberries they'd shared as dessert. Ed slowed down, savoring the feel of her tongue on his, reaching one hand just inside her waistband, feeling her stiffen ever so slightly, probably cushioning the goosebumps his hand on her bare skin induced…until it was absolutely necessary for him to stop.
"Let's take this inside, Liv," he gasped.
Olivia was grateful for the gracious release from her earlier challenge, "Whatever you want, Captain."
They hustled inside to enjoy one last night in the oceanfront suite, leaving the half-empty wine bottles and glasses in the sand for tomorrow morning's cabana boys.
…
See ya tomorrow for #SVUSeasonFinale Tweeting! #Tuckson