A/N: New chapter ahoy :D

I am flu'd up to the eye balls, lucky me but with a little grit I have kept myself out of bed to post. (I should be in bed lol.) Anyhoo, I think you may all be happy to hear a change a coming… Evil hat may have been grounded, maybe… hehehehe. But, I think it's now about time our couple find their sparkle again. So hopefully that will happen.

Thank you so, so much, to my best friend SweetSouthernComfort. This chapter was co-written with her. She is truly amazing, she always is. Your contribution, Hun, means the world to me and again, makes this story so much better! And, without you, I would have given up a looooong time ago.

Thanks to everyone for your messages and reviews, whether private or public. I do pay attention to all comments and I love to reply to all those comments that I can. Again, I can't reply unless you are signed into FF and make sure you do not have a message reply blocker on your account!

Righto…let's go. Enjoy :)

Chapter 104

Sara ran as fast as her shivering body and legs would carry her and Grissom gave chase. The sudden exertion taxed her lungs and a sharp pain pierced her chest, but she dared not stop.

He had barely left the stable when he stumbled over his coat which Sara had obviously just discarded upon the ground. A quick bend and a swipe of his hand gathered the garment so he barely stopped and the pursuit continued.

"Sara!" he bellowed. She was still just about visible through the moonlight and he was surprised by her speed. Considering her current physical ability he was astounded by how fast she was actually running. That didn't make him feel any better.

Thankfully, she was heading towards the house, a fact that gave him some relief.

She reached the mansion quickly and burst through the front door, panting for breath.

Instantly upon hearing the intrusion her parents emerged from the living room and she stopped in the hallway, her eyes bloodshot and her face flushed.

"Sara?" Laura asked, her expression worried. She stepped towards her daughter.

Sara shook her head and ran for the stairs. Laura was quick to give chase and was half way up when Grissom came running through the front door almost colliding into the captain.

"What the hell happened?" the captain demanded.

"Where is she?" Grissom asked.

The captain pointed to the stairs.

Grissom didn't wait to answer the older man's question and darted up the stairs before he had chance to question him any further. Needless to say, the captain was quick to follow.

"Sara…unlock the door…"

When Grissom reached the landing, he heard Laura banging on Sara's door and was quickly by her side.

"Go away!" Sara cried. "Just leave…me…alone! All of you, just leave me alone!"

Laura turned to Grissom with a sigh and a look of concern upon her face. "What's going on?"

Swallowing the heavy lump in his throat, Grissom felt as his shoulders slumped. "She…found the ring in my jacket before I even had chance to talk to her. She just…"

"She said no?"

Grissom puffed out his cheeks. "I guess…in a way…I don't know. I didn't actually ask. She just told me to give the ring back and then she ran."

Placing a gentle hand upon on his arm Laura bowed her head, shaking it a little. "We should…leave her be, for now."

"But…"

She stopped him from arguing. "She needs some time, Gil. I think…some of us presumed…"

Sara's voice came through the door breathless and angry. "I don't want anyone presuming anything about me. I don't want your concern. I want to be left alone...please."

"Sara," Grissom began.

"Gil," she insisted icily. "I don't want your pity. Just please, go away."

The captain appeared behind them and both turned to face him.

"Does someone want to explain to me what's happening right now?" He pointed to Sara's door. "Is she alright?"

Laura shook her head and took Grissom's arm, her voice a mere whisper in order to prevent being heard. "No, she isn't. But trying to force her into talking right now isn't going to do any of us any good." She tugged on Grissom's arm but he wasn't too keen to move.

Her face softened. "Please, Gil. It's been an exhausting evening and she will be more stubborn now at any intrusion. Let her be until we can work this out."

"Work what out?" the captain huffed. "There's nothing to work out."

Laura pulled again and after a quick glance to Sara's room, Grissom allowed himself to be guided back along the landing.

"I'll explain downstairs…"

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Laura didn't normally drink. She was never a woman who could hold her liquor. But the smooth whisky actually felt good sliding down her throat. And it loosened her tongue considerably.

"I fear for her." She looked down into the umber glass. Tears began slipping from her eyes. "She's in such pain."

Her husband stood at the fireplace, so silent that the crackling of the burning wood seemed loud in comparison.

"I don't know what to do," he almost moaned.

Laura drained the glass and reached to the crystal flask for a refill. Neither man said anything as she spilled a little over the side.

"I know we promised you, Gil..." She stumbled back to her chair, "...but she won't marry you, and I've always promised that I'd never make her...do that."

"I've thought about it," the captain finally spoke up, his eyes tearful in the weathered face. "When I was in the war...God the things I saw I would rather forget." He paused for a moment, his hands giving the slightest tremble. "When we would capture a village, many of the soldiers would go around the homes...pillaging them, raping the women. I never did, didn't like the idea. But I remember hearing all those women screaming and crying. "

Laura gulped.

Grissom stared stoically into the fireplace, thinking about the Captains words.

"A lot of them..." the captain paused again, "...did desperate acts afterward. Didn't blame them. I've thought about that a lot since Sara..." his voice drifted off.

"I think she would run away again," Laura lamented, the slur evident in her speech. "But maybe we should send her away, just for a little while, Thomas. Get her away from the town, the rumors and talk."

"Laura, I'm not losing my baby girl again," the captain warned. "If that son of a bitch were still around, he'd be prancing the town with a smile on his face. He wouldn't hide. We shouldn't hide Sara."

"But Sara can't hide," Laura insisted. "Most people of this town blame her, saying Hank had the right to do what he did. Hannah even had the audacity to not so subtly suggest it in Sunday school one day and I thought Sara was going to faint."

"Hannah is nothing but a gossiping whore herself," the captain retaliated.

Laura was pouring her fourth straight whisky, spilling more than she was getting into the glass.

Swearing under her breath, she looked at her husband. "Doesn't matter what Hannah is or isn't. She isn't the one the town is calling a whore... And she isn't the one who deep down believes it."

The captain sighed and hung his head. "You think sending her away..."

"It will get her away from the rumors." Laura's voice was dampened by the combination of emotion and alcohol. "I just want to save her before her life is changed forever...before the pain gets too much that she does something rash...again."

Grissom silently approached Laura, gently taking both the flask and glass from her hands. Leading her back to the recliner, he helped her into it before kneeling down beside her.

"Sara's life has already been changed forever," Grissom gently pointed out, his hands covering Laura's. "I cannot imagine taking her away from those who love her being of any benefit."

"But she doesn't want us," Laura wailed. "She doesn't want our help. She won't even talk to us."

"Let me try again," Grissom suggested in a soft low voice.

"What do you plan to do?" the Captain asked. "That you haven't tried already. I know you love her. I know she loves you back. But I don't think your love is enough this time..."

"I'm not sure yet," Grissom admitted. "But deep down I know she wants to be helped. She just doesn't know how to do it herself or how to say what's on her mind and heart."

"How can you be so sure?" Laura looked at him with desperate eyes.

He thought of the times Sara would inexplicitly embrace him, cling to him. "I just do," he replied. "I'm not saying I can heal her in a day. That will take time. But I do know that there are things a husband can do that a friend or beau cannot."

"I know she needs you," Laura agreed, the intoxication obvious.

"I need her too. That's why you have to trust me."

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Grissom stepped out into the cold with a heavy heart, tugging his jacket around his neck in order to protect him further from the freezing elements hazing around the Grove.

He didn't want to leave and would happily sit outside Sara's door until morning to ensure she was safe and didn't run out into the night. The emotion of the past few hours would have exhausted her further but Grissom fretted that she wouldn't stay there.

Despite his confidence with Laura, Grissom had no idea how to get through to Sara. A fear seized his heart that he was losing her, that even though Hank was dead in his grave that the wound he inflicted upon Sara's heart was a mortal one.

When he reached the bottom of the steps he stopped. He knew Sara was watching him through her bedroom window. But, he just couldn't bring himself to turn around. It would upset both of them even more if he did, he just knew it.

The problem, he knew, wasn't just Sara's. He had not been the most forthcoming about things. He had expected that Sara would somehow revert back into the person she was...with just the knowledge that he loved her.

But it was more than that. Grissom knew he would be asking a lot...for Sara to ignore the ache in her heart and the taunts of a misinformed town and find solace in his arms. And there was a part of him that feared that he couldn't be enough. After all, he was just an ordinary man.

But he had to try.

With his mind whirling with thought, he set off back to the cabin knowing the night would be a sleepless one. He would not feel comfortable until the morning arrived and he knew Sara was safe. Plus, he had to work out some sort of plan.

His gut burned with apprehension and he wondered why he felt so convinced that time wasn't on his side.

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Sara watched, through her tired, sore eyes as Grissom disappeared though the fog.

A deep emptiness washed over her once he'd gone from her line of sight though and her anger morphed into sadness.

Sitting on the edge of her bed she sighed deeply and ran a hand over her messy hair. Her skin felt dry and cold and Sara realised she must look awful.

The bath brought up for her was still sitting there. The water was surely cold by now but Sara didn't care.

Afterwards, she reached into her bed side drawer in search of a ribbon but as she pulled the drawer open a small box caught her attention.

Swallowing the lump which formed in her throat she picked up the box and looked at it. Slowly she flipped the box open and stared down at her Grandfather's ring.

Her tongue peeked out, drawing over her bottom lip and she almost smiled as the memory of her first night with Grissom took over her thoughts. It was such an amazing night full of love, desire...respect. And when she had given him the ring although at first he felt unworthy, he had taken it and she could feel the pride flowing from him.

Another wave of sadness washed over her as a darker thought invaded the happiness of her memory. She snapped the box closed. Grissom had left the ring behind. Not that she could fault him for that. At the time, considering the circumstances, anyone else probably would have done the same. But her mind suddenly thought of the family tradition, Grissom had accepted her token but she had declined his.

She placed the ring back in the drawer and held her face in her hands. Her tears threatened again but now she gritted her teeth, determined not to allow them release. She loved him, and the very thought of marrying him should have filled her heart with elation. Except that her heart was broken and she doubted that it even remembered what joy was.

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She inhaled the chilly dark air as she made her way along the well worn path. Her eyes burned but the cold air helped to relieve the pain caused by her hours of sleeplessness.

She was so tired, but she dared not attempt sleep again. Since Grissom's proposal, she had felt more lost but the threat of the nightmares had forced her to fight sleep.

It was all so stupid. They were dreams, bad dreams. They shouldn't matter...but they did. And she was so scared of them, because of their vividness.

Managing to leave the house wasn't easy. People were still up and about and Sara had no doubt that her parents had purposely kept staff around in order to watch in case she tried to leave again. Luckily for her, she knew the house, the dark spots and how to sneak out should she so desire. It took a while but eventually she managed to slip out through the kitchen.

She just needed air…freedom.

The night brought the terrors of her unsettled mind; the day made her fear Grissom's eventual departure. He had left abruptly after her rejection of him once before, so she guessed he would do the same now.

Either way, she fretted.

She hated who she had become. She missed the carefree happy woman that she once was; however, grieving that loss was useless. She just couldn't imagine her life without Grissom in it.

Yet, she well knew that she would have to learn to live without him.

It was the coldest night of the season thus far but oddly, she didn't feel all that cold. She had walked frequently lately, trying to use both the peaceful tranquility of nature and the physical exercise to alleviate the savagery of her thoughts. And it partially worked though never completely, forcing Sara to seek solitude again and again.

She had however picked the perfect night for a walk. The first frost of the season had just formed, giving a surreal opalescence to the landscape. Tiny sparkling crystals adhered to every aspect of nature: the edges of the colorful leaves, each tiny blade of grass. The moon was full, illuminating nature's work and making it more vivid and beautiful. She walked in an almost wonder although she had viewed the miracle of the first frost every year. But, every year it still managed to inspire awe.

The frost laden grass crunched beneath her feet. Her breath emerged in white puffs, as if her life's air was now part of the scenery. The air was frigid; it burned her lungs to breathe it and yet it was strangely purifying in its own way.

The river was one of her favorite places. Even in the darkness, with only her lantern for light, she could wander along the banks and listen to the rushing of the water. Sara could remain there for hours, enjoying the peacefulness of the scene and the soothing affect that it had on her senses.

Sucking in a mouthful of the air, she almost gasped at its harsh cold but it still smelled wonderful. The smell was crisp and clean and slightly smoky.

She smiled at the cabin's silhouette in the darkness. Grissom's cabin. The smoky smell was undoubtedly the chimney, burping the waste from the roaring fire in the fireplace. It was cold tonight and she pictured him sleeping deeply in his bed, warmed by the relaxing fire.

There was a light from within, the presence of which destroyed Sara's visions. Grissom, unless he was dozing in his chair, was most likely awake. He may be reading, Sara knew. They both enjoyed reading and Grissom's duties only permitted reading late at night.

Still, the morning would come soon enough and the duties of the Grove would demand his attention. The Halloween party that Sara cared nothing about was only two days away and there were still final preparations that needed to be completed.

Grissom had an almost boyish excitement about the event; his enthusiasm was almost contagious, almost making Sara excited as well.

Until the proposal.

Everything would change now.

Biting her lip, she turned away from the cabin. Sara didn't want Grissom, if awake, to notice her. The wind blew gustily, the coldness of it causing her eyes to water.

"Sara…"

She barely heard his voice, carried away from her by the wind. At first the voice startled her, causing her pulse and breathing to quicken.

She turned to face him, her eyes lighting on the darkened form of him standing directly behind her. He was dressed appropriately for the weather, as if he had just walked into the cabin for the night. Perhaps he had been reading and quickly dressed when she had disturbed him.

Grissom held his own lantern aloft, studying the expression on her face. "I scared you," he said in apology.

He had frightened her, but she didn't think of assuring him otherwise.

Helplessly, she stood there, lips parted but unable to form words. Grissom peered back at her, looking every bit as despondent as she felt. He swallowed slowly before raising his arms, holding them out. He looked so sad that she whimpered before nearly falling into his arms

Oh, God, he was so warm. She wondered how he always stayed so warm. Her apologies tumbled out, sincere and pleading against his chest.

As if reading her thoughts, he tried to pull the front part of his jacket around her. "God, your freezing, Sara. Do you not feel how cold you are?"

Honestly, she only half-cared about her health. The part of her that did care only did so for her family who loved her. Sara had no self-preservation; death was probably preferable to the shame that had become her own life.

She supposed that this was an improvement. She recalled some weeks ago that she was truly suicidal. Now, her recovery, had restored her health, but only made her partially care about it.

However, there was something about the tone of Grissom's voice that made her sad, as if she couldn't stand the thought of him being angry at her, though he had far bigger reasons to be.

"It's okay," she murmured against his shoulder.

His tone immediately softened. "Come on, let's get you warm. Then we can talk." To her surprise, he lifted her up into his arms, carrying her protectively inside the warm cabin.

He closed the door behind them, positioning her in one of the two chairs and wrapping a quilt around her shoulders. He took a minute to stoke the fire, causing red-orange sparks to briefly dance in the warmed air.

"Warmer now?" he asked.

She nodded. "But I feel that you did this unnecessarily. I was only going for a brief walk," Sara said.

"Because you couldn't sleep…" he replied almost sadly.

"I…..don't need that much sleep, Gil," she answered. "I…."

He gave her a solid look, eyes narrowing as they studied her. The near alabaster skin, so white the sprinkle of tiny freckles appeared prominent. Her lips were without color but it was her eyes that betrayed her. They were dark sunken pits. And, though she tried to stop it, a sniffle came from her nose.

"Talk to me, Sara," he said suddenly, interrupting any protest she might have had…

*** "You anticipate what I would say, though you cannot know how earnestly I say it, how earnestly I feel it, without knowing my secret heart, and the hopes and fears and anxieties with which it has long been laden." ***

*** - Extract taken from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

A/N: Ohhhh…. Is it sqweeeee time? LMAO. I guess you will have to wait and see. Will Sara tell him? If so, how will she react if he admits he knows? The next chapter is with SSC btw, so just about ready. How badly do you want it? What's going to happen? Will it be good or baaaaaaad? Mwahaha. Is GSR back?

Review and let me know :D

BTW you can follow my page on FaceBook :D – Look up sidle77. I'll try and post the link but I'm not sure if it will work.

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