Hey lovely's!
So this chapter is REDIC long and I am sorry for that... lol
I really hope you enjoy it, as I wont lie writing this chapter made me RAAAAAATHER emotional. Comment and let me know how you like it!
Always appriciate it and tell me if there's anything you thinks gonna happen next or what you think may or may not happen between Rayne and Bellamy later on in the chapters, kinda interested to see what you guys think I have cooking up in my noggin.
Also odd as this sounds, what would be a good "Ship" name for Rayne and Bellamy?
Anyway love you guys and your constant support!
-Vanessa
Bellamy's Point of View
Once I got out of the bunker I began to walk around in the mud, my head felt like it was spinning and on fire. I crouched down onto the ground trying to catch my breath and calm myself down. All my thoughts flooded into my head all at once. I couldn't understand what was going on. Why did I suddenly feel so sick, so confused, so out of it.
"Bellamy?" I heard the soft voice come from behind me.
I stood up and spun around to see Rayne standing not even two feet away from me. Her hair was in a perfect loose braid over her shoulder, her bright moss green eyes starring right into me. Her smile was soft giving me chills all down my back.
"Rayne?" I said my voice cracking with confusion, did she follow us here?
"Why would you leave me at the camp? How could you do that…" She said her eyes filling with tears. Did something happen back at the camp after we left? Did the grounder's invade to take their friend back and hurt everyone?
"I—I—" I began to stutter trying to find a reason, trying to find the words for why I had left her behind.
"I thought you loved me Bellamy…" She said again,
I heard a branch crack from behind me causing me to look around, "Bellamy Blake." I heard Jaha say just as my eyes landed on the man emerging from the brush.
He stood there clutching his stomach with a pained expression on his face as he was looking down at the gunshot wound he was holding tightly. His head slowly rising to look at me, I don't think I ever felt my heart race so fast in my life. How did he get down here so quickly?
"How—how are you here? You're on the Ark?" I asked him trying my best to keep my voice steady.
"You shot me on the Ark, but I've been waiting for you." He said his voice sounding completely hollow and void of any emotion except for anger and hatred.
Two emotions, I deserved from him.
He slowly removed his hands from his stomach as the gunshot wound began to gush blood almost instantly. The blood covering the entire bottom half of his shirt. "I did what I had to do." I told him sternly.
"To protect Octavia. Have a second chance with Rayne." He told me, but how did he even know my motive behind shooting him?
"That's right." I said to him.
He began to slowly make his way towards me, "Pathetic, using your sister and a girl you're obsessed with to justify your crimes, your cruelty, your selfishness?" He asked me.
"If you're gonna kill me, just do it." I told him, sick of hearing him talk about the girls and I that way.
I turned around to look at Rayne only to find she was gone, where did she go? She always told me that if anything ever happened and Jaha came down she would be right by my side holding my hand through the entire thing. Now he's here and she is no where to be found… Why would she leave me like this? Is it because I made sure she wouldn't come with me? Is it because I constantly lied to her? I supposed I deserved this.
"Why should I kill you?" He asked me his voice taking on an ominous tone. "Unlike the others, I survived your treachery. I see your treachery and selfishness knows no boundaries, you even hurt those you came down here for in the first place."
"What're you talking about?" I asked her cautiously.
"The three hundred and twenty souls that were culled from the Ark, so that others could live." He began to explain to me causing my heart rate to quicken.
"You knew that they would be sacrificed." He continued as I felt my mouth slowly become ajar, I was shocked at what he was telling me even though I knew that every single one of the words coming from his mouth where true.
"The Radio." I said. "I didn't know that would happen." I confessed to him as my voice completely cracked.
"It's not my forgiveness you should seek." He told me with a perfect smirk growing on his lips. "It's theirs." He said looking off to the side towards the forest that surrounded the area Clarke and I had found.
"Murderer." I heard a woman's voice say to me. I swear it felt like my heart was going to rip right out of my chest.
"Where did you make Rayne go?" I asked him.
"Me? I didn't make her go anywhere, Bellamy. You did that all on your own. Funny if you think about it… you came down here in hopes to not only keep your sister safe, but to claim your happy ending with Rayne a girl who barely even realized you existed till you constantly reminded her that she knew you."
I looked at him shaking my head, "No, She knew me… I didn't have to remind her. She remembered me because she loves me." I tried convincing him for some unknown reason.
"Who are you trying to convince here Bellamy?" He asked me.
"Rayne loves me." I told him as I ran my hands through my hair.
"Well that may be true, but where is she? Why isn't she here with you now? What could have possibly made her want to be as far from you as possible?" He asked me as he shrugged his shoulders smiling at me, "I think we both know the answer to that don't you agree?" He said as I lowered my head.
He was right all of this was my fault, Octavia hating me, Rayne not trusting me, being mad at me, probably hating me, the radio, the grounder, the three hundred souls… it was all my fault. I shouldn't have taken the radio, I shouldn't have tortured the grounder, I should have just been honest with Rayne, I shouldn't have actually shot Jaha… and just snuck onto the drop ship.
I kept hearing the voices call out to me calling me a murderer; it caused me to look up from the ground at Jaha as he had his head cocked to the side and his arms crossed over his chest. The calls to me only got louder causing me to look around to see all the people slowly closing in on me from the forest surrounding me.
"Murderer." I heard Jaha say from right next to me, "Stop!" I shouted at him as I ran from him and the other people.
Rayne's Point of View
I was waiting by the drop ship as everyone in the camp had started to succumb to the effects of the nuts they had been eating. Some people had begun to undress, others where walking around just being all kinds of insane and weird. Octavia and I where sure making a huge gamble in their safety that I would admit.
However letting Lincon become a punching bag for everyone here just because they think he might be the one that killed our people. Wasn't something either of us could stand by and let happen. Octavia finally returned to me with a pile of clothing in her hands.
"Hopefully some of this stuff fits him." She said as I smiled, "Oh I'm sure it will."
"There's so many colors in a rainbow!" I heard Murphy yell as he was running around the camp.
"That's interesting…" I said as Octavia laughed.
"Are we sure Miller and the others are taken care of?" I asked her quietly.
She used her thumb to motion behind her causing me to look only to see Miller standing there looking up at the sky pointing at the few darkening clouds mumbling to himself. Not to far away from him was Conner who was rolling around on the ground complaining that he was on fire and the water was the cause of it. Drew was sitting next to Jasper asking if he could have the sword he was holding only for Jasper to argue that it was his special "Anti-Grounder" stick and not a sword.
"Good enough for me." I told her as we both entered the drop ship and headed up to the top level where Lincon was being held captive.
Once we got to the top Octavia put down the clothing and I began to cut the ropes and cords that where holding Lincon in place.
"I think these two till fit best." She said once I had finished cutting his one arm loose. I could feel Lincon's eyes on me before moving back and forth between Octavia and I.
I think he may actually be shocked that we're risking a lot just saving his life. I don't think he actually realized we wanted to, not just mentioning it. He saved our lives, he protected us, the least we could do is draw a line in the dirt and show him that not all of us down here are violent and cruel.
"We need to go now." Octavia said as she began to untie his leg restraints. I untied his other arm as he tried to regain his strength from being held in that position for nearly two weeks straight.
"Why are you two doing this? Risking your safety and your lives for me?" He asked us as Octavia but a sweater over his shoulders once we both realized he had collapsed to his knees.
"Just get dressed." She said as she began to help him put the clothing over himself instead.
"You did the same thing for us." I told her casually looking down the ladder to make sure that no one was on their way up here.
"They'll know you both helped me." He said groaning in pain as she began to put his one arm into the sleeve.
"You said it—you stay here, you'll die." Octavia pointed out to him. "And neither of us plan on letting that happen." I told him as I picked up the jacket off the ground tossing it to her as she then helped him put that on as well.
"I'm not gonna put either of you in danger." He told us softly.
"You need to do this now." I told him as Octavia began to try and help him stand.
"Even in these clothes, I'll be seen." He said.
"People are seeing plenty of things right now." I explained, as Octavia stifled a laugh, causing him to look at the two of us with curious eyes.
"Ok let's go." She said as she began to help him towards me and the hatch.
"What'd you do?" He asked us as I just looked to Octavia.
"Set out some of our winter rations a little early." She told him as she and him made it over to me as she helped him lean against me so she could head down the ladder first.
"Jobi nuts, the food you gave my guard." He questioned her as she looked up at him, then they both looked to me as I nodded softly.
"They go bad, they cause visions, but it wears off." He explained to us.
"Just try to get as far away as you can, ok?" Octavia said to him.
"The further you are, the safer you are from our people." I told him, "They will likely attempt to hunt you down."
He nodded to us in response to what we where saying, "And try not to get yourself killed." Octavia told him as she put his hood up covering his head.
He turned to go down the ladder but instead turned back around pulling Octavia's face close to his pulling her into a kiss causing me to grin at the two of them. I felt like I saw that one coming, after Bellamy had shown me the pictures he drew of Octavia and I in his note book I knew Lincon had some sort of feelings for her. He turned to me after he had moved away from Octavia, "Keep her safe?" He asked me in a whisper that only he and I could hear. I nodded to him, "Keep yourself safe." I told him.
Octavia looked completely broken, I walked towards her pulling her into a hug. "You take all the time you need babe." I said to her, "I'll be outside acting like a nut case." I told her with a wink.
I walked outside to see Raven hugging Conner before pulling away from him. "Tell me again." I heard him say as I walked over to the two of them.
"You are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms." Raven told him causing me to laugh really hard catching her attention. I could see Lincon from the corner of my eyes slowly attempting to sneak out of the camp.
Conner leaned in hugging Raven again as a girl began to cry, I walked closer to Raven as Finn told her that he got that one. Where they trying to calm the entire camp of hallucinating teens down on their own? Some task they created for themselves there.
I watched as Lincon stumbled out of his hiding place and ended up right next to Finn. I watched as Finn moved slightly startled by the sight of the man. Only for them to stare directly at each other as Finn nodded for him to move past him. Basically telling him the way out was clear for him to escape. Guess I knew whom I could trust in the camp that would please Octavia. However knowing her I was the only person in this camp she would ever trust. Regardless of the situation, I stood there and watched Lincon disappear into the darkness as I realized… Finn's eyes where directly on me. He knew I was involved in Lincon's escape.
Bellamy's Point of View
It didn't matter where I ran off to, the people just continued to follow me, continued calling me a murderer. Was I a murderer? Was it really my entire fault they where chosen for the culling? I didn't think the Ark would actually kill all those people. One woman had gotten right up in my face startling me causing me to fall to the ground only to try crawling backwards to get away from her.
I felt a tap my shoulder I looked up to see Jaha standing over me shaking his head before he looked behind me. I turned my head too look over my shoulder to see a direct stream of moonlight hitting the ground lighting up Rayne as she stood there her head facing the ground.
I could see streams of tears slowly fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. Was I the cause of this sadness? Had I really been that blind to what's been going on with her? I moved to crawl closer to her only to watch her look up at me as the moonlight slowly faded off her, completely engulfing her in darkness. It was almost as if it was taking her away from me, she wasn't even standing there anymore.
I turned around moved so I was perched on my knees sitting back on my feet. I looked up at Jaha who was now being light up by the moonlight. "Please kill me." I begged him, "Let me be with her."
Clearly if all these people where here they where all dead, I was seeing them, if either from complete exhaustion or who knows why. However if the entire population of the culling was here, and Rayne was here that must mean that she's dead. "Kill me!" I begged him again as he just looked at me intently. I put my hand behind my back slowly pulling the gun out from my pant line.
The rain had been falling on me for who knows how long possibly all night, I held the gun in my hand looking down at it for a split second before looking back up at Jaha. "I deserve it. Please…"
"Yes you may deserve to die, but you don't deserve to die just to be with her. How would that be a punishment?" He asked me slowly as he backhanded me hard across the face causing me to fall right down into the ground, the slap was so hard it nearly made me flip right over onto my back.
"I can't fight anymore." I pleaded him, "I already lost them both… I can't fight this on my own… not without her." I pleaded.
"Don't you know? Life if a fight." Jaha said with a harsh chuckle.
"And you did have them, and she was fighting with you, you're the one who gave up on her." He told me pointing out the cold hard truth. I did give up; I stopped fighting with her and just allowed her to hate me, allowed her to be mad at me. Both of them, I let Octavia and Rayne hate me.
He swiftly kicked me right in the gut, nearly making me fly across the small space we where fighting in. Was I really that weak that I was this easy to beat down? I lay there on the ground in complete pain, was this was I put that grounder though this pain?
I tried getting up to see that all the people where surrounding me even closer than they where before, "What am I supposed to do?" I asked him.
"Live, breathe, suffer." He said coldly as he knocked my arm out from under me causing me to fall into the mud.
"You owe them that. You want the peace of death? You're gonna have to earn it." He told me as he kicked me hard in the gut again, I lay there holding my gut in utter pain. "Fight back!" He yelled at me.
When I had finally pulled myself up he punched me hard in the face causing me to fall face first into the dirt again. He then lifted my head up by my hair looking at me, I felt completely and utterly broken as the man stared me in the face.
"Do you think you deserve to be free of your pain?" He asked me. "Do you deserve that gift?" He asked me, "Does he?" He asked looking over his shoulder to reveal Rayne standing there behind him.
Her hands were clasped in front of her; head was down with her hair lightly damp from the rain that had been falling all night. She was wearing her jeans which had become warn since we've been down here, a black tank top with her white nearly see through tunic over top of it completely unbuttoned. She stood there staring at the ground before she slowly lifted her head to see me.
"I love him." Was all she said before Jaha moved in front of my view of her. "No, where is she… let me see her… even if just one last time." I begged him as he shook his head. "You're gonna get that gift." He told me with a crazy look in his eyes as he punched me again from under my chin causing me to fall backwards into the dirt.
I then heard a gun cock only to look up and see Dax standing before me. Jaha was gone, all the people from the culling, gone. Rayne was gone. I looked at him completely confused, "Nothing personal." He told me causally as he had a gun pointed directly at me.
He pressed the trigger only for the gun to click; he had the gun I was attempting to use earlier. The bullets where duds, I moved my hand around to grab the pistol I had tried to let Jaha use to kill me raising it at Dax trying to steady my hands. He looked at me confused as I looked at my own hand to see that the gun was not there either. What was going on?
"Put it down, Dax." I heard Clarke say from behind him.
I looked around me to see for sure that all those people where gone, where they even really around me? I looked back to Dax and Clarke to see that they where pointing their guns at each other, only Dax had the every intention to kill either one of us.
"Should've stayed down there, Clarke." He told her. "I tried not to kill you, but here you are, and Shumway said no witnesses." He continued explaining to her as it all pieced together.
"What is he talking about?" Clarke asked me.
"Shumway set it up." I told her softly still situated on the ground.
"He gave me the gun to shoot the Chancellor. Said if I killed the Chancellor I could get on the drop ship to be down here to protect Octavia and be with Rayne."
"Walk away no, and I won't kill you." Dax said to Clarke, he looked back at me slightly. "Seems like Rayne's being promised to a lot of people." He shot at me causing me to stare at him.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him.
"Not only did he promise me that if I killed you, he would get my mother on the first drop ship to Earth, but that I could have anything I want down here, including a job with the guard. I figured since you're doing such a lousy job and keeping a girl happy… which might I remind you down here is completely simple… that I would take her once you're gone." He explained.
"Don't you dare touch her." I threated through my clenched teeth.
"Put it down." Clarke told him ignoring the entire conversation he and I where having.
"You're choice." He said shooting the gun off hitting a tree next to Clarke.
"You know, I wasn't going to kill you Clarke but with both of you gone, it makes getting everything I want a whole lot easier." He told her causing the blood in my veins to boil with anger.
He shot two more times as Clarke hid behind a tree, I got up and charged at him knocking him backwards onto the ground. "No!" I shouted at him, once he was on the ground I moved so I was straddling him punching him in the face repeatedly.
Only for him to easily over power me knocking me backwards with a single back hand much like Jaha had whenever that ordeal was taking place. I think now I was hallucinating that had to be the only explanation for what I was seeing and experiencing.
I could hear Clarke trying to cock her gun, but it was pretty obvious it was jammed. I was on my back struggling with Dax as he began to punch me and beat me while I was on the ground. He picked up the gun and I instantly grabbed it as I began to struggle with him against it. Before he pulled it away from me smacking me in the face with it nearly knocking me out.
I noticed the bullet lying not to far away from me as I began to try and reach for it, however he was now trying to strangle me using the gun. Which was probably one of the most painful things I'd ever experience. I couldn't die; I couldn't let him hurt Rayne. I wouldn't let him touch her.
"Get the hell off him!" Clarke yelled as she came back out from behind the tree.
He took the gun away from my neck to knock Clarke backwards but punching her in the gut with the butt of the gun causing her to fall right down to the ground with a hard thud. I could only imagine that it knocked the wind right out of her. I grabbed the bullet and stabbed him hard in the shoulder with it before taking it out of his shoulder stabbing him two more times in the same arm causing him to fall down on his side.
He lay there withering in pain, I stood up slowly moving away from him and over to Clarke as I helped her off the ground. "We have to kill him." She told me.
I shook my head, "No, we banish him." I told her. She looked at me confused.
"No one even knows he left the camp. We could easily say he came with us to help us, and that he either elected to stay and watch the supplies or was killed by a grounder on the way back… either way we will never see your face in the camp ever again will we?" I asked him looking down at him as he starred up at me standing up and quickly running off in the opposite direction of where the camp was.
"We should have killed him Bellamy." She told me.
"We did kill him, he wont make the winter." I told her as she lowered her head nodding.
Clarke and I leaned against a tree panting and gasping for air as we saw the last glimpse of Dax rush into the dark of the woods. I looked over at her to make sure she was all right. "You're ok." She told me, "No, I'm not." I told her.
"My mother… if she knew what I've done, who I am—she raised me to be better, to be good…" I began to say.
"Bellamy…" She said out of breath and in a soft whisper.
"And all I do is hurt people." I told her staring at the ground. "I hurt Octavia, Rayne, Jaha, everyone." I continued to say I could feel the tears building up in my eyes as I tried to pull them all in but they had already begun to slowly fall from my eyes.
"I'm a monster." I finally said. Clarke was honestly the last person I had expected to break down like this in front of. I had always hoped Rayne would be the only person I would ever bear my soul too.
I guess I could call Clarke a friend as much as a part of me really didn't want her as anything in my life; she only caused more problems than she was really worth for me. "Hey…" she said softly.
"You saved my life today." She told me, "You may be a total ass half the time, but I need you." She told me causing me to look at her, why would she tell me that… she knows I would never want her that way. "We all need you." She continued.
"Rayne would be completely devastated without you; as much as you hate to admit it… she is lost without you." She told me as she placed her hand on mine.
"Rayne I think has always loved you or wanted you in same way or anther… if she realized it or not… even back on the Ark." She told me, "She wanted you and didn't even know what you looked like…" She continued laughing lightly.
"Yea it's my fault she doesn't trust your right now, but Bellamy if I go back to camp without you, only to tell her you left… it would completely destroy her and we both know she would leave to find you…"
I looked at her, she was right about that. Rayne wouldn't take that I had left; she would just take off too. She would try to find me and god knows that would be the reason she would die. I wanted to protect her and leaving was clearly proving to be the one thing that would put her in the most danger. I looked over at Clarke her eyes searching my face for some kind of response.
"None of us would've survived this place if it wasn't for you." She continued, "Rayne would have probably never helped us with anything least of all medical help if it weren't for you giving her a reason to care… you made us all care… you made us all believe that we can make it." She continued telling me as I looked down towards my shoes. Why did I hate to admit even to myself that Clarke was right?
"You want forgiveness for what you've done? Fine, I'll give it to you. You're forgiven, ok? You want Rayne to trust you again, fine the moment we get back I will do everything in my power to make her trust you again." She said as I turned to face her.
"But you can't run, Bellamy." She told me. "You have to come back with me…the camp needs you there, Rayne… she'd probably kill me if you don't come back." She said with a soft laugh.
"You have to face it." She told me. "Like you faced your mom?" I asked her.
She finally looked away from me taking a few moments to collect her thoughts and think about what I had said to her. "You're right." She finally said.
"I don't want to face my mom. I don't want to face any of it. All I think about every day is how we're gonna keep everyone alive, but we don't have a choice." She told me her voice cracking causing me to turn and look at her.
"Jaha will kill me when he comes down. Rayne will still end up alone, and I'd die both her and Octavia hating me." I told her as I looked at her only to see her shaking her head.
"We'll figure something out."
I scoffed, "Can we figure it out later?" I asked her.
"Whenever you're ready." She said moving herself into a more comfortable position against the tree.
Rayne's Point of View
I sat in a chair just outside the drop ship looking around at everyone as the effects of the nuts had warn off of everyone causing them to walk around trying to piece together what had happened to them. I noticed someone sit next to me, so I turned to face who it was, Finn.
"Clever trick." He told me softly.
I smirked, "I thought so… but it needed to be done." I told him as he took a deep breath nodding his head.
"You know what else needs to be done?" He asked me.
I cocked my head to the side looking over at him, "What?"
He smirked looking ahead at everyone as we watched Octavia get stopped by Monty and the two began to talk. "You need to forgive Bellamy. As much as I personally don't like him, you two need each other. Yea sure whatever happened was crappy but you know what Rayne… you two love each other." He told me.
"He still lied to me." I said, "I wont show him that I am weak and can be walked all over."
Finn took in a long deep whiff of air before exhaling it. "Sometimes the only way to show someone that we're stronger than they think we are is to forgive them." He told me.
"To move past the problem, get on with life. It's way to short to let things get in the way of happiness unless you're telling me that you're not happy with Bellamy?" He asked.
"Of course he makes me happy… every moment he's near me I just want to pull him close and never let him go." I told him as he smirked.
"Then let it go Ray… it'll just show how strong you really are." Finn told me as he stood up and walked towards Raven.
"He's gone. The grounder is gone." Miller yelled as he walked out of the drop ship.
Everyone instantly began to move closer to the drop ship and murmurs had begun. "What is he brings other grounders back?" Jasper said from behind Finn.
"He'll kill us all." Another person said from the crowd. "Or worse!" a girl yelled.
"Let the grounders come." Bellamy said parting the crowd as he and Clarke basically announced their return. His eyes where searching the crowd I assumed for me, because once he saw me his eyes never left me.
"We've been afraid of them for far too long, and why?" He asked us, a better question was why was his face bruised and battered.
"Because of their knives and spears?" He continued. "I don't know about you. I'm tired of being afraid." They both looked at each other causing my heart to sink.
So much for that pep talk Finn.
They both then smiled pulled large batches of guns out from behind their shoulders causing the crowd to babble with excitement. "No way." I heard someone say, I looked over to Finn who had a look of concern written all over his face.
"These are weapon, ok, not toys." Clarke explained. "And we have to be prepared to give them up to the guard when the drop ships come." She continued. "But until then, they're gonna help keep us safe."
"And there are plenty more where these came from." Bellamy said, I looked over at Bellamy again only to see he was still staring right at me. "Tomorrow we start training, and if the grounders come, we're gonna be ready to fight."
Once the entire speech was over Bellamy and Clarke had moved the guns into the compartment where they had Lincon held up. I watched as Bellamy went to find Octavia with a blanket, I stood there watching them talk, once he had walked away from his sister he and Clarke walked into the vidcom tent. It felt like they had been in there for hours when it had only really been about ten minuets before they left the tent and Clarke B-Lined it towards me not giving me a chance to walk away from her.
"No." I said sternly only for her to grab hold of me.
"Ray, we almost lost Bellamy tonight because of his fear of Jaha… don't miss out on a world of happiness with him because I asked him to keep a secret for me… I am sorry for everything that has happened to us… both on the Ark and down here… but don't make what's going on between us effect the two of you… he loves you Rayne… with every fiber of his soul…" She finished telling me before she walked away from me.
I turned to watch her walk over to Murphy only for him to pull her into a tight warm hug softly kissing the top of her head before she and him disappeared into their tent. I wiped the few tears that had fallen from my eyes at what she had said to me.
I could hear someone walking closer to me, turning to see that it was Bellamy I turned to face him. His face was badly cut up with dry blood all over his nose and under his one eye. I wanted to know what happened but in all honesty the only thing I wanted was him in my arms.
I pulled him close to my own body as fast as I could, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling my face into his chest. I felt his arms slowly snake around my waits holding me tightly as I felt him bury his face in my hair breathing my scent in. I could feel his body quiver. He was sobbing, "I love you." I told him, "And no matter what happens when the Ark gets down here... I will be by your side." I told him as he pulled me away from him leaning his head softly against my own.
"He pardoned me." It was almost like I didn't even hear the words come out of his mouth, it felt like I was in a dream. "Bellamy, that's amazing." I told him. He just smiled at me before taking my hand and leading me back to our tent, for the first time in two weeks things finally felt like they where going to be ok. Like everything was going to start working out for the better.