Authors note: Hi guys! I appreciate the comments and PM's about not altering my story because someone requests something but I feel the need to clarify. This story, and its characters, have already been outlined to its completion. I haven't, and probably won't, alter anything, including skin color. I'm guessing some of you missed that Ana's therapist is a black woman as well. I'm a big believer in writers writing what they want but I do respect the people that take the time to read this and review it as well, it means a great deal to me and I love the connections I've made with some of you. So while I do listen to everything my reviewers have to say, I will be the first to let you know that the characters, in their totality, have already been 'sketched'. And damn, you all really loved airplane sex!
APOV
"What made you choose Aspen?" Christian and I are sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. The sliding glass doors to my right open up to an enormous wrap around deck that looks out over the Ajax Mountains. He shoves another bite of bread pudding in his mouth and chews, answering before he's finished swallowing. I love when he's relaxed like this.
"My family used to come here to ski, it's where I learned actually. I like the town, nobody really cares who I am or how much money I've got."
"You have a lot of money." He stills and rests his elbows on the bar eyeing me carefully.
"Yes, I do. You don't like money?" He's teasing but I can tell he's unsure of where I'm going with this.
"Everyone likes money, Christian. I'm just not used to being around so much of it. It overwhelms me sometimes the life that you live."
"We live, Ana. I want everything to be about us now. No more I or me or you." He pulls my lip out from between my teeth and kisses me softly.
"That's a lovely sentiment but this is your lifestyle. I'm a part of it but that doesn't make it mine." I take a long sip of coffee out of my Star Wars mug, still touched that he remembered to pack it for me.
"Does it ever freak you out? Do you ever feel, I don't know, controlled by it?" His expression tells me that he has no idea what I'm talking about.
"No. I like having money, Ana. I grew up not eating for days at a time, having money makes me feel secure and allows me to make others lives secure as well. I'm not about to apologize for being wealthy." He seems almost mad but he's misunderstanding what I'm saying.
"You shouldn't! You do a lot to ensure that others have a better life, that's not at all what I was getting at. I just mean that having your kind of wealth means that there are always people knocking on your door looking for something. How can you ever know who's genuine and who's not? How can you ever let your guard down?"
"I don't. I've kept my circle very small for a few reasons, my wealth being one of them. I also employ people who are very good at siphoning out the scam artists. Andrea being my number one line of defense." He winks over his mug.
"She really is very competent. I think she and I could be friends." He shakes his head and swallows his coffee before standing to clear his dishes.
"No. You can't be friends with someone that works for me, it's too intimate." I understand his position, it's the reason I haven't pursued a relationship with her outside of the office but I'm still stunned that he thinks he can dictate who I'm friends with.
"You do know that I can be friends with whomever I want to be friends with, right? I'm not an idiot, I've purposefully not reached out to her outside of the office but you need to know that I'll choose who's in my life just as you've chosen." His back is to me but I can see the tensing of his broad shoulders as he stares out the window over the sink.
"Ana, you are with someone who has extreme wealth and influence. You're going to be bombarded with people who want to be 'friends' with you. Family you didn't know you had is going to come out of the woodwork. I don't think you're an idiot but if you bring just anyone around, I'm going to have an issue with it." He turns and points. "And yes, every new person in your life is going to submit to a background check and an NDA depending on their level of involvement."
Discussion over. I can't argue with him. Since the pictures of us first surfaced I've received calls from people I knew as far back as elementary school. As much as he can expand my world, being with him has also shrunken it a lot too.
"I have a very important call in 15 minutes. I was thinking you could go to the spa and spend some time there while I deal with some GEH stuff. We can meet up for lunch at the meatball place Elliot suggested." He rolls his eyes and then walks over to me, standing between my jean clad legs. "If you're up for it. We can stay in all day too. I don't know how you want to navigate everything right now in light of last night's developments."
I hadn't forgotten but I had managed to push the reality waiting back in Seattle down. I'll have to testify, that much Carrick confirmed this morning on the phone. There's been no date set, they've not even brought him back to Washington but there's a certain protocol that will be followed and appearing in court to face him is inevitable. As long as Christian is there, I can face him head on. I make a mental note to double down my efforts with Eyal.
"I could go for a massage. You make your call, I'll get pampered then you can feed me. Sounds like a great day to me!" He swats my ass and calls for Mr. Bentley who appears a minute later in jeans and LL Bean shoes. My kind of guy.
"Can you please take Ms. Steele to Remede and wait for her there? I'll have security do a sweep before she's escorted in."
"Yes, Sir. Ms. Steele, whenever you're ready, we'll go."
"What did you want? I'll have Andrea call and make the appointments." Future friend or not, this is an appointment I'd rather make myself.
"I'll call if you give me the number. I want a massage but I also need a wax." I say it as quickly as can but the blush flies up my neck, intensifying when he turns those gray eyes on me in appreciation.
"I don't think so." What? Don't think what? He's the one that suggested the spa to begin with. "If you get a wax, you can't have sex until tomorrow and I've got serious plan for later." My belly dances but knowing he's got 'plans' only makes me want to get it done more.
"I've been getting them long enough that a solid 12 hours is a good enough wait. If I get it now, I'm good to go by 10ish." He eyes me skeptically. "Plus, it makes things so much more sensitive for me." Aaaaand he's sold.
I get the number and make my two appointments, adding on a haircut that he makes me all but sign a contract over. I am only allowed to take off one inch at the most and even then only if the stylist decides I need it. I take a quick shower and jump in the Audi he's got here. Christian hands me a small envelope when I kiss him goodbye and kisses me.
"If you argue about this, I will be seriously pissed off. Don't deny me this." He grinds into me so that I'm helpless to say no and rip the top. It's a black American Express card with my name on it. Refusing it will not only piss him off, it will hurt his feelings, I can tell by the way he leans back and raises his eyebrows.
As deeply as I can I take a breath and say the words in my head before I say them out loud.
"Thank you, Christian. I'll be careful with it."
"I don't want you to be careful, Anastasia, I want you to buy whatever it is you desire. I don't care how much it costs or how frivolous you think it is. If you want it, get it and don't think twice about it. If you use your own money for anything from this point forward, and I will know about it, I'm going to be upset."
"Coffee?"
"AMEX."
"Tampons?" He laughs.
"AMEX."
"House?" His eyes shoot up.
"If you can find an agent who will charge it and I get to live there with you, AMEX."
"Condoms?" He sputters and smacks my butt, grabbing it and pulling me close.
"Never. You do know how to rile me up, now go get pampered."
The Remede is breathtakingly beautiful. In my wildest dreams I never thought I'd come to a place like this but when the name Christian Grey get's dropped, I'm not just 'here', I'm treated like royalty. My estitician, Dana, is friendly and chatty, two things that I appreciate in a woman when she's flipping you around and spreading you as far as humanly possible.
"Hold tight there, Ana." Fuck that hurts. Fuck fuck fuck! I've never enjoyed this particular routine but it's made somehow more palatable by the fact that I'm now doing this for him. A few minutes later I've been powdered and am lying face down on a massage table getting the stresses of the last few weeks worked out of me by a woman named Henrika. Outside of the normal pleasantries she doesn't say much but it's her demeanor that touches me the most.
Maybe it's my emotionally overloaded state, maybe it's the quiet of the room or the soothing strokes of her oiled hands but I break. Tears fall, my nose stuffs and my head goes dizzy again as fear and self-doubt rise up and out of me.
"Do you need a break, Ana?" She rests her hand in the center of my back and leans down to my ear. I shake my head no and she hands me a tissue and continues as I cry, my tears pooling on the floor beneath me.
"Sometimes massage does this to people. There's an intimacy in it that touches deep." Her hands sweep over my neck and she says softly, "You are safe here." I know I am, there's a female security detail stationed outside of this room but she means that whatever I need to do, I can do without fear of her judgment or fear of her telling anyone. Her kindness eases over me and even as her hands rub out the tension of my muscles, her presence draws out the emotions I've hidden for years.
An hour later I'm drained, relaxed in both body and mind when she lays her hands on the top of my face and thanks me.
"I should thank you, Henrika. I'm sorry I lost it there for a while." I close my eyes in embarrassment but she tuts and stands, handing me the white wraparound towel.
"It happens a lot. Let it happen though, Ana. It's not good to keep all that inside." Is that what I've been doing? I've certainly felt emotional over the last few weeks and I've had a few breakdowns but am I really dealing with the underlying causes?
In the steam shower I give myself a mental talking to and make a promise to myself to be as open with Dr. Fischer as possible. I've held back, not wanting to discuss Christian's lifestyle for fear of betraying him but it's a large part of my issue and one that I have nobody to discuss it with.
I have no idea how to dress for Aspen but I do my best, donning skinny white jeans and a loose cream knit sweater that keeps out the chill of the mountain air but doesn't make me hot in the sun. Christian is waiting at The Meatball Shack in jeans and his signature white button down. He's hot just like that but paired with his Aviators and the shit eating grin he gives me when I walk up, he's downright sinful looking.
"Hi. How are you feeling? Down there?" He begins to chuckle, unable to stop himself. "On your daisy?"
"You are a child." I huff and then laugh with him stopping only when he kisses me, bending me into him and pressing against me in the most obcene manner this place has ever been witness to.
"I want you home, naked and moaning." Sounds good to me. Actually, the seam of my jeans is a reminder as to why I'm not letting him take me home right now. Stinging is an understatement.
Once we've ordered, veal meatballs for Christian, chicken for me, we grin like idiots across the table from each other, his thumb gently running over the top of my hand.
"You seem happy today."
"I am. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders last night, I'm on vacation with the prettiest woman to ever walk the planet and I'm about to eat balls of meat made of veal." I sputter my water out and laugh at his play on words.
"You make it sound so gross. How was your call?" He lifts one eyebrow and sips his beer slowly.
"Good, not as bad as I expected it to be but another legal headache anyway." I stare at him, raising my eyebrows urging him to go on. "I had an employee steal money from GEH. You remember the Ponzi scheme I told you about that my dad alerted me to?" I nod. "Turns out, the guy needed an infusion of cash for leery investors so he seduced one of my female accountants and had her, cleverly I may say, take a little over one million dollars from me in less than two months."
He raises his glass, sips again and carefully puts it back down. "Remarkable really. We'd have never known about it if her boyfriend hadn't landed himself under investigation."
I whistle low and lean back when the food arrives but he keeps talking. I like chatty Christian.
"They're both married, stupid fucks. We'll be prosecuting to the fullest extent of the law as will the SEC I'm sure. She's going to be in prison for a long time." He waves his fork. "For what? She's got a broken marriage, she destroyed another one and she helped him facilitate the financial devastation of hundreds of people."
"That's a lot of money for you to lose."
"Not really, not in the scheme of things. He's stolen probably closer to four billion by conservative estimates. They expect to arrest him later this week."
"Will it effect GEH?" He's got enough to deal with right now, bad press and missing money isn't going to help.
"I can't answer to the SEC investigation. Initially we were worried that money was being laundered through GEH and that would have been devastating. This, believe it or not, is a best case scenario." He reaches across and spears a piece of my lunch offering me some of his as well.
"No thanks, I don't do veal." Gag.
"I thought we could go shopping after lunch since you still haven't hooked up with Caroline Acton." He gives me a disapproving glare but I ignore it. "We can just stroll around downtown and see what strikes your fancy."
"You're so old. Who says that? Strikes your fancy?" He grins and grabs my hand, planting a sweet kiss in my palm.
"You make me so happy, Anastasia." I swallow hard and smile at him, bringing his palm to my own mouth and kissing it lightly. If I speak at all I will start to cry again but I don't want to explain to Christian why I'm emotional. I realize now why Henrika had such an effect on me. She is the first person in two months that won't report anything back to him. Unknowingly, she gave me back a piece of my privacy.
Shopping in Aspen is without a doubt the strangest thing I've done to date. I'm a Target girl, every once in a while I'll hit the mall and up the ante on my wardrobe but for the most part, if it's nice, it came from Kate's closet. The boutiques that we enter are the definition of the word posh. Every single sales person is dressed and beautified to perfection, every store offers either wine or champagne and every shop offers a personal concierge.
I hold my own in the first two stores, picking up a few dresses and a new pair of jeans but when we hit the boutique with the gowns in the window, I nearly have a heart attack. Nothing even has a tag on it and the names are so famous that even I know them and that's saying something.
Christian explains to the perfectly quaffed blond sales girl that we have a black tie dinner on Friday evening and that he'd like to see me in green if possible. His reason is obvious; he wants me to wear the emerald necklace that was caught up in the wreckage of our reunion on Saturday. She brings out three, all floor length and before she lifts the first one up Christian has nixed it.
"Too revealing." I admit that it is but it's gorgeous and the necklace would look amazing with it. I finger it gently and he crosses his leg, resting his ankle on his knee. "If you wear that out, I'd wind up in jail. No." Well if he feels that strongly about it…..
The other gown has a criss cross neckline which won't work for the necklace so I push that one to the side holding up the last one. "What about this one?"
The gown is beautiful in a darker peridot color with a sweet heart neck line that will show off my breasts without making me look obscene. He sips his champagne and beckons for me to try it on. The sales girl enters the dressing room with me and helps me to zip it up while I look at it critically in the mirror. It fits me well and drapes down my bodice and over my hips sensually. The thigh slit is a bit much for him to take, I'm sure, but if I don't thrust my leg out I can keep that under wraps. I like it, I like the way I feel in it, I like the way it swirls around my legs and I like that it makes my eyes pop.
"How much is this?" I whisper to the sales lady but she only smiles.
"I'm not to talk to you about pricing." Damn, he's gotten to her. She continues to prattle about, fluffing the sides and lifting it to accommodate my height. "We'll need to alter it of course. We have someone on sight, let me get her to measure you and then I'll have it delivered later today to your home. We'll need shoes first though." She scrutinizes me and then lifts a finger in the air. "This would go with a gold strappy heel, let me go see what we have on the floor." She exits and returns a few minutes later with gold embellished four inch heels that are to die for. I've never owned a pair of Manolo Blahniks in my life. Paired with a matching gold bag I'm sold.
"You've got to tell me how much this all costs, please, I'm begging you. Woman to woman." Surely that counts for something! Instead she helps Roberta measure me and then helps me out of the dress, zips it into a garment bag and waves me off. In the dressing area Christian is tapping away at his phone but stops expecting to see me all done up.
"Where's the dress?" He looks upset.
"You'll see it on Friday." His eyebrows raise and he smiles, shoves his phone in his pocket and stands.
"Is it green? The one I liked?" I nod and kiss him shyly. Outside of my parents I've never had anyone buy me clothes. It feels strangely intimate.
"Thank you."
"My pleasure, baby. You have no idea how happy it makes me to do this with you. Thank you for accepting it and not sucking the joy out of it." I am so glad I didn't raise a fuss even though I'm very uncomfortable right now.
The clothes and shoes he purchased are loaded into the waiting SUV by one of the security men but we continue our leisurely walk down Main Street, stopping for a coffee at an open air cafe to sit and people watch.
"Do you want to go for a bike ride?" Is he joking? I shoot him an incredulous look and he raises his eyebrows over the tops of his Aviators. "Horse back riding? Mia did it last summer here and she loved it." He's kidding. He has to be kidding.
"Bike riding and horseback riding? After a Brazilian? Thanks but that would be a big hellstotheno." Just the thought has me crossing my legs and cringing. He throws his head back and laughs loudly enough so that the patrons on the patio look around. The women that weren't previously ogling him are now aware of his presence and are full on staring. He has no idea, his eyes are set on me and me alone.
I stand and sit sideways on his lap, wrapping my hands around the back of his head and tell him I want a bath. He stands, throws a ten on the table, what for I don't know, we had two take away coffees, and then drags me into the SUV, pulling me back onto his lap and his waiting erection. It takes all the willpower I have to not turn around and flip off those women.
"Woah there Lance Armstrong. When I said a bath, I meant, a bath." His hands still in my hair, his hips stop gyrating upwards and his eyes flash to mine. Oh shit, he's not happy.
"Are you denying me what's mine, Anastasia?" Am I? Or am I exercising my free will?
"No, I'm delaying it. I want to take a bath and get dressed for dinner tonight. I brought a pretty new dress to wear out and I want to make myself look good for you." He's not convinced. "Plus, if I'm not riding a horse or a bike, I'm not riding you either, I'd hate to have to push off your plans for another night." It works, he grins and swats at my behind.
"Buckle up, baby. For the record, I don't like it when you say no to me, no matter what the reason. Consider yourself warned, if you deny me again, I up the ante tonight." I'm already apprehensive so I choose, wisely I think, not to poke at him right now.
The master bathroom in this house is my second favorite room outside of the library. It's big but somehow still cozy. It could be because there is a sofa and fireplace, in the bathroom, or it could be the dark woods and slate grays that were used in here. The tub is against the far wall which is made of glass and looks out over Ajax Mountain. There are candles around the ledge, all with unused wicks and I take great joy in striking matches knowing that even after I've left, I've left a mark.
"Oh come on, give a man a chance!" I giggle and blush at being caught getting into the tub that is now filled with bubbles.
"If you can keep your hands and your dick to yourself, you can come in." He whips out a piece of crumpled paper and holds it between two fingers with a truly salacious grin.
"Care to explain?"
"I left it on your pillow last night, it's your daily affirmation. You were supposed to find it with me." I'm blushing again but he's laughing, tugging at his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.
"Well Carmella found it this morning. I didn't even bother to take my pants off last night let alone look on my pillow." He's almost naked now, my mouth dry with the want to lick him. Did he just say Carmella found it? Oh my god.
"Carmella? Found it? This morning?" I'm choking on the words but he just grins.
"Yup. She just left it on the nightstand, didn't say a word." He walks over, buck naked and holds the note open for me. "Read it, I want to hear this one from you directly." Oh my god! He's expecting me to be shy about this but I've resolved, as of one minute ago to be as unprudish as I can be tonight.
"You have a huge dick." We both burst out laughing, his abdominal muscles rippling and moving. So unbelievably sexy and all mine. "Did you take a picture of this one as well?"
"Of course. I want to video you saying it too."
"No. I draw the line at potential blackmail." I giggle and watch as he lowers himself in across from me, immediately taking my foot in his hand and rubbing the arch in small circles. I groan and rest my head back, allowing the amazing feeling of being in this bathroom, with this man, in a nice hot tub getting a foot massage overtake me.
After a few minutes he switches to the other foot, his eyes still focused intently on my toes. Something is bothering him and as much as I've learned how to push Christian to talk, I also have learned that sometimes he needs to do things in his own time.
"Why won't you move in, Ana?" The sadness in his voice hits me in the gut. Still his eyes don't look at me.
"It's a number of things, Christian." I speak slowly, measuring each word since I know the weight they carry. He will hear them again and again and analyze each one looking for any sign of me leaving him.
"I've known you for two months and even though I love you and want to be with you, I don't feel ready to live with you." He drops my foot onto his leg and levels at me.
"But why?"
"For one, I like my independence. I like having 'my' place and feeling like I'm doing the adult thing on my own. I like living with Kate and having stupid girl fun until four in the morning and I like not having to worry about answering to that."
"You can still have your independence with me, it's part of what attracts me to you so much. And it would be your place and if you and Kate want to eat ice cream all night long I don't give a shit, it'd be your home to do it in." Here goes the rest of it.
"Being with you brings a lot of intensity to my life, Christian. The media scrutiny, the constant barrage of people wanting to get to you, security, the lack of privacy. It's a lot to take on and as much as I love you, I need a break from that every once in a while and having my own place to go to is essential for me until I get used to all of this. Not a break from you, a break from the bullshit that you can't help."
He drops his head back and exhales slowly.
"I can't argue that one. I know I've totally fucked up your life."
"What? When did I say that? I said it's intense and if you had paid attention, the intenseness is caused by other people, not you." I will not tell him that his constant need of me terrifies me. I feel like if I mess up, if I don't answer him the right way or I don't meet his needs then he will immediately fall into the pit of self-pity and loathing that upsets me so much. It's an unfair responsibility and the reason I'm pushing for him to talk to his parents. He needs other people who he can depend on, not just me, the pressure is cracking me. Case in point, me not moving in.
"You have not fucked up my life, Christian, you've added to it in ways I never thought possible for a girl like me. You've given me more joy in two months of knowing you than I've ever had in my life. And the last three weeks of being yours? Bliss." I slide down and poke his sternum with my big to get his attention. "I wouldn't trade a minute of our life together for what I used to have."
"I need you with me." Such simple words that hold so much vulnerability.
"You have me. Me living three miles away doesn't change that." His eyes close, his head falls back and he sighs.
"I want you to need me the way I need you. I want you to want me the way I want you."
"I do!" I gasp but the moment the words leave my mouth I know he's ready to rebut them.
"No, Ana, you don't. If you did, you'd be my wife by now, not my girlfriend." My heart literally skips a beat and then drops to my stomach. "I think about you every minute of every day. There is nothing that happens in my life that I don't equate to you as an individual or us as a couple. Everything in my life begins and ends with you." And that, is what I find so terrifying.
"It can't be like that, Christian. If I learned anything from three years of therapy it's that co-dependancy isn't good for anyone in the long run." He sits up, suddenly animated.
"Bullshit! You've done more for me in the last few weeks than everyone in my entire life before you. You make me want to be better, you make me want to pursue a normal life, you make me believe that I can have it."
I'm actually getting upset that he gives himself zero credit. And I'm still stuck on the word wife. I won't lie, I've thought about it but there is no way, at 22, I'm allowing my head to go there yet.
"No, you grew up and decided that you wanted something and you made changes in your life accordingly. You told Elliot about what happened, I didn't even know you had done it until after the fact. You chose to get that woman out of your life before I ever came around. You took the steps to find another victim and you're the one who, despite having every option available to you, chose not to take on another submissive."
He's silent and thoughtful as he resumes rubbing my feet. I take his in my own hand and start to squeeze his heels, mimicking what he's doing to me.
"I cherish you, Christian and not because of the things you've done or the money you have or the way you look or the power you wield. I love you because of who you are." I sit up straighter and cross my arms over my chest when I catch him staring at me.
"Say five nice things about yourself." He snorts and lies back again. "And it has to be about who you are not what you are."
"I could never think of five things that are good about me, Ana." He's pained but I press on.
CPOV
She's crazy, totally lost her mind crazy. Five things about who I am that are redeeming qualities. Does fucking and making money count? If not, I'm screwed. Her face is dead panned though and I know this look. She's serious as hell right now and sexy as fuck.
"I give away a lot of money." She throws her hands up, giving me a quick peek at her soapy breasts and breathes out with annoyance.
"Also known as being generous."
"Yea yea, I'm generous. I always tell the truth." Even if it's hurtful and costs me a deal. She makes a 'come on' motion with her hand and I relent. "I'm truthful."
"You got it, now three more and we can get out of here." I groan.
"Come on, Ana. I can't think of three more things." Her hands rise menacingly out of the water and cup her breasts, a soft sigh escaping her mouth. My mouth dries while I watch, she knows exactly what she's doing.
"I'm protective over the people that I love." I love people. Anastasia, my family, even Taylor, Gail and Andrea on some level. My mind swirls with the revelation. I love people.
"Two more." She leans back so just the pink tips are above the water line and runs her palms over them, rinsing the suds off and causing them to sway in the water. I'm going to come just watching her do that.
"I'm faithful." She drops her hands and smiles hugely. This is something she worries about.
"I love fiercely."
"Yes, you do. And I love you back just as fiercely." My heart hammers in my chest, a combination of lust and adrenaline as my words bounce around and awaken a part of me I didn't know existed. I found five good things to say about myself and they were legit. And I told Ana I wanted her to be my wife and she had no adverse reaction. She needs to know I'd never hurt her.
"Ana, you know that no matter how long we're together, no matter what happens, I would never be unfaithful to you. Do you know that?" She bites her lip and lifts one shoulder.
"I guess." I slide down until we're nose to nose, wrap her legs around my waist and take her face in mine.
"I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than hurt you and betray you like that. It will NEVER happen. Do you understand me? I'm a man of honor and integrity and I would die before I gave that up and hurt you." Her face breaks out into a huge smile and she moves further onto my lap pressing her breasts against my chest.
"You said seven things."
"No shit. I did." I'm a bit stunned but not halted in my declaration. "Answer me, Anastasia. Do you understand that I would never do anything to hurt you or to break up our relationship?"
"I do." It takes her a minute but she relents.
"Good, now come on, let's shower and get ready for dinner. If I stay in here with you for three more seconds I'm going to fuck you, soreness be damned."
She sinks back and closes her eyes. "You go shower, I'm going to shave and exfoliate in private." I stop myself mid eye-roll. Getting her to be comfortable with all things is a bit of a challenge but I'm confident I'll get her there.
"Ana! Are you ready yet?" I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs in the typical male quandary. I'm ready to go, she's not, I'm telling her to hurry up. So very domestic and so very satisfying.
"Keep your teeth in, Grey, I'm ready. Geesh! I'm less than five minutes behind schedule." She keeps talking but I pay no attention to what she's saying. Her tiny body comes bouncing down the stairs in a short flowered dress that is the epitome of youthful innocence but draped on a body like hers, it screams Lolita. My Lolita.
"Wow. You look….." My hand runs over my hair and grabs onto the back of my neck as I admire the sight before me. When she turns so that I can see the cut out back my cock jumps up to greet her. "amazing."
"You look nice as well. I like when you wear shorts, thank you for letting me pick them out for you today." She walks to me and kisses me on my cheek. "You have great legs and the sexiest fucking chest I've ever seen, I like when you show it off like this."
I'm stunned silent by the little vixen in front of me, pressing against an erection that probably won't go down until much later. With a little head shake I clear my mind and regain control, I've got the evening planned out but if I can't maintain my dominance, I'll never get through all of the things on my list.
Clearing my throat she steps back and smiles coquettishly, she knows exactly what she's doing. Time to begin playing.
"Put these in your mouth." I unfurl my palm to reveal the silver balls she liked so much and watch as her eyes pop open and fly to mine. One raise of my eyebrows later and she opens her mouth and warms them as I watch, spitting them out into my hand once they're warm.
"Turn around, grab the bottom step and open your legs for me."
"Where are the Bentley's?"
"Turn around, grab the bottom step and open your legs for me. I won't say it again."
She complies and treats me to the sight of her bent ass, a light pink strip of lace settled between her cheeks. Damn I want to spank her right now. My hands caress both sides, one finger sliding over the puffy fabric. She moans when I pull it to the side and slide first one and then the second ball into her, pushing them as far as I can with my middle finger.
"So wet already, Anastasia. This is going to be so much fun tonight, I can't wait." I cover her back up and tap her hip. When she turns I suck my finger into my mouth, tasting her as she watches me. So good.
I chuckle when we get out of the car at the restaurant, the balls are clearly having an effect on her. Each time we'd hit a bump in the road she'd close her eyes and squeeze her legs together. I'm starving but I'd forgo food for a week to take her home right now and fuck her senseless.
"Sir, your table."
"Did you rent out the entire room?" She stands in the doorway of the private room and looks around at the empty space. The rest of the restaurant is crowded but back here, it's quiet and dark. Just us, just like I planned it.
"I want you all to myself tonight." And every night. "Come and sit, baby. I ordered already, I'm assuming you like sashimi and sushi?" The waiter places our Asian Gazpacho in front of us with a flourish while I taste the wine the somellier has brought over. Ana's face is flushed but she smiles sweetly at the man once he pours her glass and then drinks it in three sips.
"Thirsty?"
"Horny." Fuck yea.
"I'll take care of that in time, Ana. I'll always take care of your pleasure, I want all of it, every orgasm, every tightening of your breasts, I want it all."
She swallows hard, shakes her shoulders back and steadies herself.
"I'm a little nervous about tonight. I want to do this, I do, but I'm a bit afraid of what we're going to do."
"Do you trust me?" She blinks as if I were an idiot.
"With my life." Warmth spreads throughout my body.
"Then enjoy it. Trust me, I'm going to." My cock is angry at me, jumping and twitching at what it knows is the beginning of a very satisfying night.
We eat our appetizer and move onto sushi shortly after. It brings me immense joy when Ana's hands clasp at the sight of the platter put in front of us. I ordered everything since I didn't know what she liked.
"Oh my god, it's amazing!" She reaches for her phone and braces herself on the table, exhaling slowly.
"What's the matter, baby?"
"Oh you little shit, you know! Every time I move those damn balls move with me." She lifts the phone, takes a picture and shoots it off to Missy explaining their sushi Fridays.
"So you have brunch on Sundays, lunch with me on Wednesdays and sushi on Fridays. For someone so thin you sure take the time to plan your meals." Actually, this is something I want to discuss with her but I'm not sure how receptive she'd be. Since I've known her she's lost a bit of weight, not a ton and hot damn she still looks amazing but when you're as small as she it, a few pounds can be a big deal. She shifts in her seat again, face flushing a deeper shade of red and puffs out. When she lifts a piece of sashimi to her lips and wraps her lips around the chopsticks I text Hall to keep everyone out for the next ten minutes.
"Come here, baby." Her lashes lift, widening her confused eyes but she rises and stands next to me anyway. I push my chair away from the table and brush one palm under her dress to rest on the outside of her thigh while the other skates between her knees, pushing her legs apart far enough for me to lift one over my lap.
"Sit." She groans when her sex pushes against my erection and again each time I rock into her.
"Oh fuck, Christian. I can't do this." Her eyes are closed, head leaned down onto my shoulder, arms around my neck.
"Shhh, we're going to get you some relief here, baby. Just be quiet." She jumps when I cup her pussy and moans in soft bursts as I run my finger up and down, saturating her panties. "I'm going to tear these off now, is that ok?"
"I don't care, just get these balls out of me." Her eyes are still closed but they snap open when I tear the panties and toss the shreds onto the floor next to us. "You really did it!"
"Eyes on me." God damn it she is so hot. My left hand holds her head in place by the back of hair while my right hand slips between her legs, three fingers rubbing in slow circles over her clit.
"I'm already there, Christian, oh god please don't stop." I couldn't even if I wanted to, she looks so beautiful right now all I can think about is watching her come.
"Let it go, come on my hand baby." Her hands fly to my chest, upping the intimacy for me. Three more rotations of my fingers and she comes, eyes wide open looking into mine on a silent cry. I can feel her wetness seep through my shorts but I don't give a fuck. Just as she begins to come down I tug the balls from her body and she cries out, convulsing and writhing in my lap.
She's damp with perspiration and minus a pair of panties but otherwise seems finally relaxed. She sags against me, breathing on my neck, her arousal now damp on my cock. If I wasn't afraid of cameras, I'd fuck her on this table right now. We need to get home, and now.
"Are you finished eating?" Her slow nod propels me to stand, picking up her panties to shove in my pocket along with the balls. They're hot against my leg, a reminder of the warmth that she envelopes me with. "Home. Now. I have to fuck you or I'm going to die."
She laughs at my dramatics but grabs her bag, walking unsteadily to the door until I grab her arm and steer her out to the car. Hall opens our door and then gets in, a simple, "Home. Quickly." thrown at him. He's a man, he understands. Plus, I'm the boss so when I say quickly, that's what I mean. We're home in record time and together walk straight to the master bedroom.
"I need to use the bathroom." Fine, whatever, just hurry up. She walks out a short minute later and stands across the bed from me, almost shyly. The break of her presence was just what I needed to collect my thoughts and get myself under control. This is her first foray into kink, I can't rush it and I can't take it too far but holy shit am I looking forward to this.
"Strip naked and then kneel on the bed, facing out." I groan inwardly when she slides the straps off of her shoulders to reveal her totally naked body. Just that dress, that's all that was between us. With a tiny kick of her feet it slides to the door. I take off my own clothes as I make my way to her side, watching with appreciation as she climbs on the bed and kneels, facing out, just like I asked.
"Good girl. I like this." My hand cups her pussy again and heat pours from her. "I like being able to see all of you. "Anastasia, we won't do anything tonight or any night that you don't enjoy. If something is too much or if it frightens you, tell me and we'll stop right away."
"Do I need a safe word?" So cute.
"No, baby. We're just playing." I withdraw my hand and step back, crossing my arms over my chest, tossing my head at her. "Play with your breasts." She complies immediately, cupping them and then rolling her nipples between her fingers. I'm never going to make it.
"Lay down flat, feet towards the middle. I want your head to hang over the side of the bed so I can fuck your mouth." Her abs tighten, a satisfied thrill running down my dick. "So beautiful." I murmur, running my hands from her shoulders to her ankles before stepping in front of her and taking her arms between my legs to restrain her.
"Lick your lips. Perfect, now open wide. Relax your throat, you're going to take me deep." Holy shit I almost come when I slide into her mouth. Slowly I move my hips, working myself deeper with each shallow thrust so that she can accommodate me. "Shit, Ana you look so hot right now. Your body laid out for my pleasure. Open your legs for me, I want to see what's mine. Ohhhhh fuck yea. Look how wet you are."
I reach down, tweaking each of her nipples before swatting her wet pussy with the flat of my hand. She jumps and stops herself from biting down on my cock just in time. Not my most well thought out move. Standing I lean back and continue to push into her until I can see the slight rise and fall of her throat when I stroke. Afuckingmazing.
"Fuck baby, I can see myself in your throat." Very lightly I lay my palm around her neck, feeling myself. I'm ready to come but I've been waiting for this for too long to do it now. Instead I pull out of her mouth and tug on my balls to stem the orgasm that desperately wants to happen. She's panting beneath me. "Suck on my balls."
She does, one by one, licking in circles as I lean over her and lick her slit, drinking in the cream that's coating her. So sweet, so good. I want more, always more with her. She's moaning against me, the vibrations adding to the sensation of her tongue and lips. I know she's close, I can sense it in the tremble of her thighs and the pace of her breathing.
Adjusting myself I slid my cock back into her mouth and fuck her as I suck on her clit, flattening my tongue against it and licking it quickly from side to side. Her hands reach up and grip my ass, her nails digging into my muscles and I come with a roar into her wet folds, catching the flood that comes out of her when she comes on a strangled cry.
Pulling away I give us no time to rest and instead lift her limp body to the center of the bed and raise her arms above her head. I reach under the pillow and take out one of my silver ties. I wore this tie the night I met her and while I don't expect her to remember, I certainly do. I chuckle remembering the thoughts that were running through my mind that night.
I wanted her more than anybody in the entire world but I had no idea what I'd be getting in the process of bedding her. Love. More love than I ever thought humanly possible. We sat on her couch drinking wine and I actually ran through my scenario, thinking that the only way to tie her up was with this tie. I've worn it a lot since and each time I make a note to use it. Tonight, I will. The Christian from two months ago gives me a high five.
She gasps when I knot the tie around her slender wrists and then around the spindle of the headboard. My semi-hard cock brushes against her breasts and she smiles at me, watching it get bigger and harder before her eyes.
"I'm not even touching you." She whispers.
"You don't have to. I want you that much, Anastasia. Now close your eyes, baby. No more talking."
She doesn't, instead they widen when I withdraw a length of heavily stitched black lace, pulling it tightly in my hands before using it as a blindfold. The small tick of her heartbeat at the base of her throat begins to pulse wildly in fear.
"Shhh, I'd never hurt you, baby. This is all for pleasure. Let me take pleasure from your body and give you mine." I whisper the words against the soft skin of her neck, licking the shell of her ear and then sucking on the flesh just beneath it. Once she's settled I lean back and take her in.
Magnificent is the only word that comes to mind. Her body is gleaming perfection, her hair almost black in the dimmed light. I don't touch her but I feel her everywhere. Mine.
"Nobody will ever see you like this, Anastasia. You are mine, don't ever forget that." Lifting her legs and spreading them I kneel between them, lean down and inhale. Sin. Wicked sin.
Her chest rises and falls rapidly and I watch until I can't take it anymore and lean down, capturing a nipple between my lips and sucking lightly, so lightly she stops moving and then arches into me. No other parts of our body touch, just my mouth on her nipples, flicking, sucking, tugging, biting. She's almost frenetic in her attempt for friction but I deny her, it will make the next part so much better.
Shifting back I remove myself physically from the bed leaving her just long enough to take the lavender wand I bought for her months ago out of its hiding spot. My laugh is low and full of sinful intentions and she responds to it, lifting her head off the pillow and calling my name.
"Right here, baby." She relaxes when she feels the dip in the mattress and straightens her legs, pointing her manicured toenails towards the ceiling. Even that turns me on. Everything about her turns me on. Focus, Grey.
"You are so sensual, Ana, so perfect in so many ways. I love your body, the way you respond to me, the way we fit together. I love the way your hips feel in my hands when I take you from behind. I love the way your head falls back when you ride me. I love the way your breasts bounce when I fuck you on your back. I love you, baby."
"I love you too, Christian." Hearing it shocks me. Not because I haven't heard it before from her but because she's tied to a bed with a blindfold on while I hold a vibrator in my hand. Is this ok to do with her? Is she doing this just for me? I've never had a sub speak to me during sex and even though I know Ana is not a sub, this is the closest sexually she and I have walked towards that line.
Am I crossing it by doing this? My dick hangs limply as fear grips me. I need to know.
"Ana? Why do you want to do this with me?" She shifts, undulating her hips and turning her face towards me. I lift the blindfold and she blinks, my heart seizing with affection for this woman.
"I love you. You like it, I don't know if I will so I want to try it. I want to please you, Christian and I want to explore myself in the process." She bites her bottom lip and my dick shoots up like a rocket in less than three seconds. "Do you want to do this with me?" Her voice is small and quivering.
"Yes, a lot. But more than that I want to ensure that you're loved and protected. I want you to know that I don't need anything but you. The add-ons are nice but I don't need them. I need you, just you."
Her head falls back and she blinks back a tear. "I know, that's why I trust you. I want this, Christian. I promise." She closes her eyes and shuffles her legs. "Now fuck me." I laugh, put the blindfold back on and switch on the wand. She thinks she's in control right now telling me what to do...time to show her she's not. Her body tenses at the noise but then she grins.
"You said you've never used one of these. I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of them." Leaning down I suck her nipple in again and then kiss her mouth keeping my lips open and dancing with her tongue. The wand slides up her belly, between her breasts and then circles one, around and around until it rests on the tip.
"Oh fuck." She groans. I repeat the same thing on her other breast, sitting back to watch as her heart slams against her chest. "Christian, please." I'm right there with her.
"Is this what you want, Ana?" I mean to tease her when I rub the head of my cock through her slit but it tips me over the edge, stealing any control I was holding onto and I slam into her. She arches and cries out but I thrust on, harshly, over and over with a force I've rarely used on her. I need this right now, I need to take the edge off.
After a minute I lean back and catch my breath, willing myself to stay still and regain my composure. She makes it so hard though when she moves her body like a wave, lifting her abs, then hips, then thighs and calves. She's fucking me!
"Don't move!" I yell. Not because I'm pissed but because I'm going to go if she doesn't stop. I flick the wand back on and press it to the top of her slit, sliding it around until it's directly against her clit and the base of my cock. She thrashes and yells, her arms straining to free themselves from the tie but I hold her still with one hand and slowly pump in and out, in and out, in and out, all the while pressing down on the wand.
"I can't, I'm going to, oh fuck! Christian!" She spasms around me and I buck wildly, my need to come so great that I fuck her like piston, bellowing out her name as my seed spills inside her convulsing warmth. The wand is wedged between our groins and she twists and turns to get rid of it until I reach down, pull it up, flick it off and toss it to the floor.
My body collapses on hers and with my head buried in her neck I untie the tie and then rub her shoulders and wrists, never once moving from where I fell. We lay like that for minutes but it feels like hours, basking in a shared moment that I'd never experienced in all my years of kink. Connection.
It takes me a moment to realize that she's crying but when I do I rip myself off of her and look down at her, terrified that I've ruined us.
"What? Are you hurt? Are you ok? What, Ana, talk to me." She reaches up and smoothes back my hair sighing and giggling at the same time.
"That was amazing." She giggles again as another tear escapes. "I've never felt closer to you than I do right now." My entire body sags with relief and I slip out of her, both of us groaning at the loss.
"So, you're crying because you liked it?" She nods and rolls her eyes.
"Ridiculous, I know." I wrap my arms around her and squeeze, breathing in the scent of her hair.
"That was pretty amazing. Fuck, what you do to me, Ana. It scares the shit out of me and gives me courage all at the same time." We lay in the still quiet, both of us stroking the others arm and snuggled together under the blanket just enjoying the lingering deep connection we've shared.
"Christian?"
"Mmmm?" I'm too sated to talk.
"What time are we leaving tomorrow?"
"Seven at night. Why?"
"Can we spend the day in the library?" I must have the goofiest grin on my face because she giggles when she looks at me.
"It's your library, Ana. All that I have is yours." I clamp my lips shut to avoid begging her to marry me and settle for a chaste kiss on the top of her head until 'Marry me! Marry me! Marry me!' stops pushing itself onto my tongue. "My home, my heart, my life. All yours."