"We should have a girly night tonight." My mother says quietly, sipping her coffee as I prepare my bag for Tara's house. It catches me off guard. My mothers apparently newly sober self had really shocked me, not because I hadn't seen her sober in what felt like months but because she was different.
She painted but instead of having her usual loud music, it was a quiet CD and she wrote. In one of Dad's unused diaries she'd started jotting down things before bed when we'd sit on the couch (which felt even weirder) she'd take her pen out and scribble down something and then carrying out watching TV.
We talked rarely still. I mean, she talked to me but I was almost bitter. Why couldn't she of been like this when everything had went down with Dad? It was a weird feeling. I had been getting used to having no Dad - and Mom and now she was back to what was her 'old self'. Painting, and smiling.
"I don't know." I hum, sipping my tea hurriedly. "I promised Tara and Amber I'd go to the beach with them tonight and then we'd have that sleepover in Tara's that I told you about."
"Oh.. Tara's. I didn't think it was a set plan." She sighs. "Isn't it a bit too cold for the beach? Maybe you should just stay home with me tonight."
It was true. I wasn't going to the beach, it was too cold. Instead of going to the beach where Tara and Amber were planning on hanging out with the local stoner boys who were throwing some party, I was going to finally hunt down Quil.
It had been too long, and I was angry. I knew Luca was hanging around with him by the way he gave me sad looks when I asked him about it or he would just shrug and say 'give him time,'.
I'd given him time now, and I was sick of everyone telling me maybe this was the end. It couldn't be the end. Quil and I were meant for something else. I never imagined us breaking up, or maybe if we did - it would be worth something and in the end, we'd end up right back together where we'd started.
I'd imagined our break up being before I headed to college or something. Since Quil never showed an interest in college and decided he'd just set up a car garage with the inheritance money he'd gotten from his Dad's death a few years after school. Quil wasn't fond of my idea's of studying abroad or studying somewhere sunny like Arizona, Texas or California. Not that he wasn't supportive he just couldn't understand why I'd want to fly off to some strange new place and get the same education I could get in a college in Port Angeles or Seattle.
"The girls and I planned this ages ago. I'm not bailing now, Mom. We can have a girly night any night." I say, putting my phone charger into my bag.
"I'm just saying, Heidi." Mom mutters.
"I know you're 'just saying'." I say back, folding my arms.
"Do you atleast have a proper jacket? You've grown out of the one from last year. We'll have to go get a new one soon." Mom asks.
"I've Quil's jumper and parka. I'll be fine."
"About Quil, maybe you should give all that stuff back now. Since you two are well, you know.."
"Quil and I are still together." I snap, crossing my arms. "We are still together."
"I'm sorry. I just thought -"
"Well don't think!" I manage to keep my voice at just a quiet bitter voice instead of the shout. "Can you just leave Quil and I's business to ourselves? Stop gossiping with Sue and just leave us."
"I'm worried, Heidi. You've been so angry lately."
"Just leave me alone, will you?" I say, picking my bag off the table and grabbing Quil's parka and jumper off the banister before leaving.
The plan was to meet at Tara's house first. Tara and Amber had been getting ready since early in the evening preparing to go to the party down by the beach. Of course they wanted me to just forget about Quil and come with, and in a way I wanted to forget about Quil and the unnecessary pain he'd caused me but I just couldn't. I'd promised them I'd just join them in the night for it, but I didn't plan to. If my original plan of finding Quil and making up with him went to plan Quil and I would be making up the right way, possibly cuddled up in Quil's bed kissing and watching some movie talking about how silly we were about life.
Tara's house was fifteen minutes away from my house but only two away from Quil's. As I approached Tara's I could see the light on in her room and the sound of music coming from her open window. I always really like Tara's family. Tara had three younger siblings, Jack, Hannah and Willow. Her Mom and Dad were strict enough but were also understanding she was a teenager and teenager's acted out. Tara's Dad was a therapist and her Mom was shop owner, her shop was based in La Push just by the sea side. It sold touristy-things, full of small trinkets and sea shells just like Tara's house.
I knock twice on the owl door knocker, and I can hear Tara's Mom coming out of the kitchen. She opens the door and smiles widely. "It's been too long!" She smiles, pulling me quickly into a hug. "I was just saying to Joe I've missed little Heidi's face 'round here. Joe! Guess who's here?"
Just as his wife speaks, Joe comes out of the kitchen too holding a tea towel. "Heidi!" He smiles widely, walking toward me and enveloping me in a hug like his wife had.
"Heidi!" I hear Tara cheer from the stairs. She plonks down, looking a little too glam for a beach party but still she looked beautiful. "C'mon up before Joe and Karen start to cry about how much they love you."
I laugh, as Joe nudges me up the stairs. He then turns his attention to his eldest child. "Me and your Mom are heading out to Aunt Rowena's with the kids, you know the rules Tara. No Phil, or any boys for that matter. We counted how many drinks are in the alcohol cabinet so don't even think about it, right?"
"Ugh. I won't." Tara says, slightly embarrassed.
"We left twenty dollars beside the radio in the kitchen if you kids get hungry after the party. So no raiding the fridge." Karen adds.
"Right, are you done with the rules?" Tara says, folding her arms.
"Don't be rude, missy. Be home early, right? Ten thirty sharp."
Tara rolls her eyes and motions me up the stairs. I follow her willingly pulling off my coat as I enter her warm bedroom. Amber sits on a small stool beside a mirror applying what seems like layer upon layer of mascara. She puts it down and carefully approaches me making sure her wet lashes don't hit her eyelids.
"I've missed you, How've you been?" She spoke as if she hadn't seen me in weeks. I'd seen her yesterday, but she seemed concerned.
"Same as I was yesterday, Amb." I murmur, sitting on Tara's double bed. "I'm guessing you guys are the same?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Amber says, sitting back down on the stool. "I saw Quil today, actually. Tara and I both did."
"What? Where?"
Tara closes her door, and sits on the small bean bag beside her makeup bag. "He was with Paul Lahote on the beach, we were sitting on the old tree just by the car park so we couldn't hear but they were -" Tara pauses and looks at Amber for support.
Amber crosses her arms. "I wanted to call the cops because I was afraid for Quil but Phil told us not to. Quil and Paul were fighting, like not punching or anything but they looked so angry. Well, Paul more than Quil. It looked like when the boys play soccer and someone misses the goal and the team looses, like they'd lost something big and they knew they were fucked - at least that's what Pete said."
"What we're trying to make out is that maybe Quil isn't all that happy about his current situation but doesn't know what to do. We were thinking maybe you should go to the head of the situation - Sam."
I wasn't about to tell them that the idea of going straight to Sam scared me. I thought about bailing on the idea all together, maybe it would all fall into place later on this week. Maybe I could go to the party and enjoy myself. I sighed deeply.
The idea of Paul Lahote hurting my Quil or bullying him scared me. Paul had been the butch guy in school, a year ahead of me in school he always looked like he was too good for it all. He was on nearly every school team from athletics to the football team nearly beating Luca to football captain before he disappeared for two weeks straight and started hanging around Sam Uley. Paul who had always had a temper had grown more like a ticking time bomb as the months grew on and the rumors that spread around on all the reasons why the most popular boy in school had suddenly dropped all his friends and started hanging around with Sam Uley and Jared Cameron people he'd never been linked to before. I'd found it weird too and probably obsessed over it too hard for about a month and then realized - I didn't care.
But now, it seemed like everything with Sam Uley wasn't adding up. There had always been rumors that Sam Uley was doing something with drugs but the council shot that down quickly, and so did my Dad.
"I'll talk to whoever I see. I'll go to Quil's first see if he's home, then I'll just..."
"You aren't wandering around La Push alone, especially at night." Amber says, worried. "Do you want us to come with you?"
Tara gives her a look. I know she really doesn't want to miss the party.
"You're fine, Amb, really. Go to your party, I'll join you guys later." I reassure Amber.
"Are you sure?" Amber asks again.
"Yes!" Tara answers for me. "She's sure! If we want to get drunk we better go now!"
Quil's yellow front door has never looked so daunting. Especially that only the hall light lingers on, and the light in the living room. It's going on eight thirty now, and it's already dark. I took my time walking to Quil's wondering what I was supposed to say if he happened to open the door. I was pretty sure I'd picked the perfect time - Joy was at work tonight, I'd heard that Sue was hosting one of her usual family nights in, and Molly had been invited and lastly, Old Quil was watching the game at Billy Blacks house. It was perfect.
My left hand hovered over the knocker. I couldn't help but be frightened - what happens if this was the end? What happens if he asks for his clothes back? What would I do? I'd cry, I know I would. I wouldn't be able to hold it in if he told me it was all over and that he didn't love me anymore. I wonder if I'd regret losing my virginity to him years later if so. Would it be awkward seeing him around afterwards? Would he tell everyone how bad it was with me in bed? No, that wasn't Quil. Quil was loyal, trustworthy and respected me.
I took my sudden urge of confidence and knocked on the door hard three times. I knocked hard, so hard I'd been afraid I'd done damage to my knuckles. I guess I was too excited.
I waited, pushing my hair away from my ear and pushing myself to the door. I could hear footsteps, clomping footsteps that were all too familiar but instead of coming toward the door they faded - and then I heard the back door of the small house slam shut and I shook nervously, my feet moving quickly without my consent toward the back door.
Instead of the one person I'd assumed it was, it was three people. Three men, Embry, Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote. They walked quickly, still talking to each other as if they hadn't noticed my presence. Embry and Jared both wore plain white t-shirts with some denim shorts while Paul was completely shirtless wearing dirty combat shorts that looked like they'd been dragged through the mud.
Out of all of them at the moment, Paul scared me the most. It must have been the way he walked, his arms thick and making him look like he was way bigger than he actually was. He made me feel angry too, if what Tara and Amber had said about seeing him bully Quil was true then I had a right to be angry.
I bit my lip before starting toward them as they walked toward the woodland behind Quil's house. I took off at a quick pace, my feet trudging through the wet ground as I made it to the group who had seemingly slowed down. As soon as my trudges became noticeable, they stopped. Embry turning first, the other two giving a minutes notice before they copied.
"Heidi?" Embry seemed almost shocked I was standing in front of him.
I couldn't get my words together quick enough, and I began to stutter. "Wh-wh-what have you done to Quil?" I choke bitterly.
Jared crosses his arms loosely before sighing. "You should go home, Heidi. It isn't safe to be out so late."
"No! What have you done?" I say, feeling angry that he'd answered me like that as if he knew me, as if he cared about my well being. "Tell me what you have done!"
I took a brave step toward Jared and looked him deep in his brown eyes and glared. "What is you guy's deal? What is you guy's deal with my family, huh? My Dad? My brother? What kind of sick freak show is Sam Uley running?"
I feel like I'm not myself as if it's all an outer body experience and I'm watching from the clouds. I see my two hands before me pushing against Jared's rock hard chest. He doesn't flinch or budge which makes me angrier, I see my left hand raise high enough so that its the perfect height to match Jared's cheek but even though it's moving so fast I'm sure I'll be able to feel the hard cheek bone as I slap him my hands been grabbed harshly and it isn't by Jared. Paul Lahote's hand is firmly grasping my wrist, so hard I'm sure he could snap it in a heartbeat.
I can't make eye contact because I'm sure I'll cry.
"Back off, kid." He snaps.
"Paul." Embry warns Paul quietly.
"Let go of me, Lahote." I snap, weakly back at him shamelessly trying to pull my wrist away from his grasp. I lift my eyes high enough to see him smirk and it sends me over the edge. I pull up my other hand quickly, and faster than I'd done before I let my hand quickly slap Paul across the face.
It's an instant regret. Not only does the grip around my wrist tighten but his hand starts to shake, and so does his body. Jared's hand grasps down on Paul's shoulder and he lets out a booming shout.
"Paul, calm down." He snarls. His eyes then glare at me. "Move away now, Heidi."
I try pull away my wrist but his grip is still like concrete. I'm afraid now, more than I had been before - I felt like I was in danger and if Paul didn't do what Jared said something would happen. Something bad.
Paul's shaking has turned violent and there are snarls coming from his mouth as if he's some animal like being. I yank my wrist violently away from his grasp but that's when I hear the crack and the searing pain that starts in my wrist. I can't help but make eye contact with Paul, showing him my betrayed eyes.
His brown eyes hit mine as I look into his and it all happens so suddenly as if a tsunami wave just hit us without any notice. It felt like something massive had just happened, like hours had passed within seconds but nothing had changed. I was still struggling to get my pained wrist free, but just as Paul paused to what seemed like throw himself on to the floor my wrist was freed.
"Fuck sake, Paul!" Jared yells, trying desperately to make Paul make eye contact with him but his brown honey eyes are still locked on me.
Embry's hand then quickly came forward and pushed against my chest so hard it threw me down on the floor and took the breath from my chest. I couldn't keep my eyes of Paul's changing form.
"Heidi!" Quil's frightened yell came from behind me.
It was a mili-second. One blink. And when my eyes opened again, Paul Lahote the boy who used to play for every team in school last year wasn't that boy he was a huge grey wolf, the size of a bear. I let out a scream as the wolf stood almost frightened of itself it's tail between it's legs as it stared at me.
Then it goes dark, and the only thing I can feel is my head falling against the wet mossy ground.