"~Hello everyone!~" Monokuma declared happily. "Are we ready? This time is special! I'll be joining you as a special guest! Upupupu…"
Celes raised an eyebrow. "And who would be joining your loathsome self?"
"Sick burn, but not you this time!" Monokuma was quick to reply. "I want the idol and the hall monitor!"
"Do you mean me?" Ishimaru asked at his normal volume.
"Yes, you, geez, you don't have to shout!" Monokuma cried, covering his ears. "You're just as bad as a lawyer!"
Maizono began to shout as well. "I am not reading more of that! It makes me want to murder everyone here!"
"In that case…" Monokuma began to laugh, "Upupupu… This is just perfect then! Let's get started!"
*'**"***"**'*
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep!
Maizono: I see that the spelling hasn't changed a bit.
Ishimaru: It certainly makes things difficult.
Monokuma: You guys just don't understand true art.
Maizono: What about this is art? I've heard songs that can make your ears bleed, but those are leagues better than this!
fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok!
Ishimaru: I don't believe this friend helped with the spelling.
n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter!
Maizono: What's this about?
Ishimaru: Well, apparently Tara and Raven had a falling out, so the author said some mean things, and killed off her friend's character. I forgot what her name was.
Monokuma: How could you forget Willow, she was, like, the most important character ever, like you don't even know. Like, you know.
Maizono: Monokuma, speaking like a sixteen year old girl does not suit you.
ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!
Ishimaru: I don't understand.
Monokuma: I don't understand how you guys have trouble reading this. It clearly says: "P.S. The other reason Dumbledore swore is because he's trying to be goffic, so there!"
Ishimaru: Oh.
XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Monokuma: And again the original way to separate the author's notes from the actual story. Isn't it pretty?
Ishimaru: It gets a little annoying seeing it every time.
Monokuma: Isn't that a little rude? I know someone likes using *'**"***"**'* every single freaking time. Wouldn't that be annoying too?
I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow,
Maizono: I guess somebody likes black.
Monokuma: You not a fan of the trend? It's super popular. Aren't you an idol or something? Thought you would know about this stuff.
Maizono: I like things bright and colorful! It helps take people's minds off their problems! Unlike people like her who wallow in their self proclaimed misery, thinking that their life is worse than someone else's! It's people like her who don't truly understand life's misery! Pain is not a knife to the wrist, pain is the everyday worry that everything that you built will fall apart. That fear makes you want to kill yourself, just so you don't have to deal with it any more. That dream, makes everything else seem trivial. So, hearing this little bitch whine about how everyone LOVES her gets a little under my skin.
…
Maizono: Well, don't you have anything to say?
Monokuma: Just read the rest of the chapter… upupupu…
blood-bed lipstick
Ishimaru: Blood-bed? Would that be in anyway similar to a water-bed?
Monokuma: That's a really vulgar idea coming from you. I might have to use that sometime…
Maizono: You have more class than that, I hope.
Monokuma: True, true, a bed filled with blood would be more Corpse Party standards.
and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.
Ishimaru: I still think that breaks about ten different rules in any given school's dress code.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth).
Monokuma: It's funny, because skull, you know, like a-
Maizono: We get it. Shut up.
Ishimaru: The author is very fond of puns, isn't she?
Monokuma: And there's nothing wrong with that. Though some can be unBEARable.
Maizono: Stop.
Monokuma: I couldn't BEAR it if-
Maizono: Stop that right now.
Monokuma: I'm not sure if that's PAWsible.
*collective groan*
Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom.
Ishimaru: Lace sounds very impractical. Wouldn't that mess up the aerodynamics or something?
Maizono: Just more unnecessary details.
Monokuma: Like the frilly costumes you wear for concerts?
Maizono: Ugh, I could kick you.
We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)
Ishimaru: Is she implying-?
Maizono: Yes. Moving on.
Monokuma: Don't you want to know the steamy details, like how when the chorus hit its climax, so did-
Maizono: That's enough.
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall.
Ishimaru: That just makes me think of a cheese grater.
Monokuma: You're as sharp as cheddar.
Maizono: This story has more holes than a slice of swiss. No, a whole factory full of swiss.
There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant.
Maizono: Pink pants underneath the black pants? Two pairs of pants sounds super uncomfortable.
And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.
Ishimaru: Who?
Monokuma: Right, we're Japanese! Point is, it's not important.
"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets.
Maizono: Still don't care.
Ishimaru: Funny, I think that's what Leon says all the time.
Vampire, Dracula and Draco came.
…
Monokuma: Aren't you going to say anything?
Maizono: No
We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.
Ishimaru: Isn't it a bad idea to talk about other guys with your boyfriend?
Maizono: That is one of the golden rules. The reverse is also true.
"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.
Ishimaru: Something about this feels very wrong.
Maizono: I think you're right.
Monokuma: You guys are so negative.
"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"
Ishimaru: I still don't think using abbreviations is appropriate for writing a story.
Maizono: It's extremely stupid.
"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.
Monokuma: Can you believe those stupid Gryffindors? God, posers are the worst.
Maizono: You can't be serious.
Ishimaru: This is more of that 'cool kid' stuff, right?
Maizono: Nothing about this is cool.
Monokuma: That's cuz you're a prep.
Maizono: So what? It's just a stupid label that doesn't mean anything.
Ishimaru: Also, "disfusted" looks like a combination of disgusted and confused.
Maizono: That's how I feel about this "story".
"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
Ishimaru: Those were some random caps.
Maizono: I'm okay with calling him Albert, since he's clearly not Dumbledore.
"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation.
Maizono: Transform all you want, it won't do you any good.
We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn't say anything.
Ishimaru: I still don't think crying blood is at all healthy.
Monokuma: You just don't understand his problems.
"I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.
Maizono: Isn't it a decade too early to have a midlife crisis?
Ishimaru: Wait, I thought she was dead.
Maizono: Does it matter? The author is an idiot of the highest degree.
I was so fucking angry.
Maizono: Why? WHY? You don't explain anything, force your beliefs on us, and expect us to understand you when you misspell every other word! If anyone's fucking angry, it's me. I'm dead, and I have to put up with this shit, along with the knowledge that more people are going to keep joining us, and the idea of more people dying and stuck in the realm of this monstrosity is atrocious.
Monokuma: Am I the monstrosity, or the story?
Maizono: Both of you. So making death such a trivial thing is aggravating! There's so much I wanted to do, and now I can't!
Monokuma: This despair of yours… is amazing. I just can't get enough.
Maizono: You can shut the hell up! It's your fault that things turned out this way! I will find a way to escape, you mark my words.
Ishimaru: She's right! We'll find a way!
Monokuma: Oh really? No, this isn't over. Far from it. Reading this beautiful piece of garbage is just a way to pass the time.
Ishimaru: Until what?
Monokuma: That's for me to know and for you to find out. Upupupu…!