"You know, I read somewhere that if someone faints you should just hit em'."

"That's exactly what you aren't supposed to do. Idiot."

"I don't see you coming up with any idea's, Embry."

"Fuck off, Jar-Head."

"I read that if they don't wake up in approximately one minute after fainting, you should call 911. It's been, what, twenty minutes? She's probably dead by now."

"Did we ask you, Leah?"

I don't open my eyes. Maybe then I can convince myself that in fact I dreamt it all up. That Paul Lahote didn't just turn into a giant wolf. That seemingly everything I'd believed about the world was falling apart. I'd spent years believing that my Dad was a phony that he wrote just for money because he knew the community that believed in the supernatural believed in anything.

But it was real. It was the truth.

"Hey, you waking up?" It's a softer voice now. I let my eyes softly flicker open. Emily Young stands over me, her amber eyes sparkling as the light caught them. I hadn't seen her in what felt like years. My cousin Emily had been partly pushed away from my family with all the stuff that had gone on with Leah and her. It seemed easier to take Leah's side, I saw her the most after all and what Emily did had in my eyes been unforgivable.

The scars on her face didn't seem as bad as they had in hospital when I'd visited her. She'd been asleep when I had but had made it clear that she was thankful when she rang my Mom to tell her about her recovery.

My mouth felt dry but I managed to give her a regretful 'yes' because as I did. I noticed Embry and Leah come into my view, his eyes sorry.

"How you doin, now?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the lazy boy across from the couch I'd been laid down on. I sat up slowly, and crossed my arms.

I didn't answer. I just didn't know what to say. The pain in my wrist had gotten worse, and I felt like I might get sick or pass out again any minute but that wasn't anything to be concerned about really. I felt concerned about Quil.. About Paul.

Emily seems to notice my wrist and bites her lip and makes a concerned hiss. "That looks really bad, can I take a look?"

I hold out my swollen wrist and she takes it lightly. She turns on the small lamp beside her and pulls it toward my wrist. "That must be sprained or fractured. Did you fall on it?"

"No." Embry answers for me. "Paul got a bit mad and couldn't let go. Her must have done damage to it."

"Oh dear." Emily sighs. "Leah, can you get an ice pack from the freezer and maybe the first aid box?"

Leah sighs and stands up from the couch and mutters something about 'Nurse Emily to the rescue'. A second later, a ice pack is thrown in from the kitchen window opening, then afterwards a bright green first aid box. Before it can hit Emily, Embry catches them both. He passes it to her slowly. She places it on my wrist, firstly wrapping it in some tissue.

A thought comes to my mind and I frown. "So, are you all.. you know.. werewolves?"

Emily laughs. "Well, I'm not. I'm just.. me."

Jared enters the room from the kitchen and sits on the edge of the couch. "It's Sam, Embry, Paul, Quil, Leah and Seth, Jake and.. uh.."

Leah rolls her eyes. "And your brother, Luca."

"Luca?!" I ask, frowning.

"Well, duh. I mean do you think he hangs around us because we're all best friends or something? Of course, he has the genes."

"And you're the only girl?" I ask.

"Apparently. I mean if your brother has the gene, you could." She says, almost happily. "But at the moment, yeah it's just me and all my boys." She says 'boys' with the utter most disgust.

"So I could be..?"

"It's rare. It's never been documented before and you seem alright at the moment." Jared says, quietly. "Don't fret over it."

Everyone goes quiet for a moment before I speak again. "Did.. Did my Dad know about all this?"

It stays quiet. It's obvious no one had prepared to answer this question. Leah steps up, and bites her lip.

"Yeah. Your Dad always was -" Embry interrupts her.

"Maybe we should wait for Sam, Leah."

"Why? He's gonna say the exact same thing I will. She'll react the exact same." Leah says, crossing her arms. "She already hates Sam, do you really think she'll listen to him?"

Emily sighs. "Maybe just let Leah say it to her, Em. Maybe Heidi will feel better about that. Sam can explain everything else."

"See, Embry? Emily agrees so it must be right and just." Leah says, bitterly. "Anyway, yeah your Dad did know. When he started dating your Mom way back when she was naive and told him all the 'top secret' tribe secrets, and little did she know you Dad was already obsessed with everything else supernatural. So he did a little more research, kept it quiet from the council and then his first book came out."

"That's why your Dad always got into trouble with my Dad and Billy Black and Old Quil. He couldn't keep it in he had to write more and more." Leah says, sighing.

"He really did dig his own grave." Jared says, folding his arm.

I frown. "What?"

Jared smacks his face. "I used the wrong wording. Your dad's not dead."

"Damn it, Jared, can you not just shut up?" Leah grumbles.

The front door opens with a smack and all eyes turn as Sam Uley walks in the door, his face like thunder. "I gave you one job!" He snarls, I wasn't sure if he was aware of me standing there or he just didn't care. "I said just to go to Quil's and notify him about the change in schedule but of course you managed to fuck it up!"

It looked like Jared and Embry didn't know who he was pointing the finger at but it looked like they were just taking it.

"What's the protocol when a thing like that comes up, huh? Walk away. Find a way to get away."

"It wasn't that simple, boss." Embry murmurs.

"Yes it is, Embry. It really is." Sam snaps. "I have to deal with lots of unneeded shit now."

"I can go now if you want." I mumble standing up quickly not daring to look Sam in the face.

"Sit down, Heidi." Sam says, his voice serious. I hesitate but then sit down. "Embry, Leah, Jared. I need you outside now, make sure Quil isn't trying to kill Paul and vice versa. Make sure when Luca phases in with Jake tonight he doesn't try and kill both Quil and Paul."

"Yes boss." Jared and Embry chime in. Leah doesn't reply she just starts walking toward the front door, whipping off her t-shirt as she walks. It shocks me how open she is. Sam lets out a huge sigh before walking toward the lazy boy and sitting down.

"I know Leah told you some stuff about your Dad and that's alright. I'm just going to tell you one thing: It's true." He says. "I want you to read all them books he wrote, and then his private diaries then come back to me and we'll talk."

"But-"

"But no. I'm letting you a part of this now. Your dad told me to look out for his family, and that's what I'm doing. I was doing that before but then this happened so I'm resorting to plan B - total honesty from me in return for you doing what I say." Sam says, darkly but calmly. "I'm the alpha of my pack, and right now you are deeply affiliated with my pack so you will listen to what I have to say."

As much as I didn't like the way he spoke to me, it made me respect him. Sam had only turned twenty recently but he really knew how to make people listen to him.

"Thanks, Sam." I mumble. "I was just wondering, could you explain about the wolves?"

"I told you. Read the books."

I bite my lip, but nod. "I'd better start walking back to my friends house. I told her I'd stay there tonight."

"I'll get Quil. He'll walk you home." Sam tells me as he exits the room. "Stay where you are, I'll be back in a minute."

Sam's true to his word. He's back within a minute and five minutes later, Quil walks through the door. He looks tired, and his cheeks are all red as if from wind-burn. He has a nasty scar running from the top of his bare chest to his naval. I feel my cheeks heat up and a stinging sensation in my tear duct as tears streamed out. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his newly strong body.

It felt like home, like none of this mattered. Like it wasn't a big deal that he turned into a wolf, or that we had fought. It felt like it had all been pushed fast us but as Quil tensed and pulled away slowly - I knew it hadn't.

"Hey, Heid." He says almost weakly as he wraps an arm around my waist. "I guess I'm your chauffeur for tonight?"

"Guess so." I mutter. "I'd way prefer Chives again though. British accents always tug at my heart strings."

"Alright, m'lady." Quil tries desperately to imitate a posh British accent but fails miserably. I roll my eyes.

"Get her straight to the door, yeah Quil?" Sam says, giving Quil an almost sorry look.

Quil doesn't speak, he just nods. He doesn't take my hand as he walks to the door like he used to before. He just gives me a weak small as we walk toward the unfamiliar blue pick up truck.

"It's Sam's and Emily's. He said I could use it." Quil says, almost shyly. He unlocks it and climbs in, as do I.

He starts it up quickly. I know Quil loves car's like these, he always spoke about saving and getting himself a brand new Ford Ranger. It was a big throw but I seemingly believed one day Quil would have one. He was so stubborn and loyal that I knew he'd strive to get that achievement and as far as I know he'd already saved 150 dollars.

"Weird day today, wasn't it?" He says, giving me an awkward smile as he pulls out of the small woodland cabin toward a long straight road.

"Tops my list, I guess." I mutter back. "Well actually, kind of. I'd expected something weird, like you were doing drugs or selling them but not - not ever."

"Doing drugs?" He laughs. "Do you think my Mom would let me be in breathing distance of Sam if that was the case?"

"I dunno." I say. "I just assumed he had everyone on the council drugged up but now.."

"It's really weird. It really is." Quil says, slowly. "It took me a while to even come to terms with it. I still am."

"Do you like it?" I ask, shyly.

"Yeah, I do." He answers honestly. "There are some aspects that are difficult to come to terms with." He clenches his fists around the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. He starts to shake. "Some things we can't control."

"Are you okay?" I ask, worried.

Quil blinks and then stares down at his white knuckles and the shaking stops. "Yeah. I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Heidi, don't worry bout it." Quil says. "It's a side effect to this wolf shit."

"Oh.. Okay."

"Yeah.." Quil pauses. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I really am. Nothing excuses me treating you that way after we.. uh.. y'know. I shouldn't have taken out the wolf stuff out on you."

I look at him confused and he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "When you're going through the change, you find you get angry at the smallest thing because the wolf inside you is growing. It's tearing to get out but of course, you don't know that so you bottle it up, or atleast you try and then it explodes and you then explode into a giant wolf.. Does that even make sense?"

I nod. "Yeah, perfect sense."

"I phased outside your house just in the woodland." Quil says, slowly. "I was so confused, I thought about just walking back into you as a wolf because I was so frightened and you felt safe but.. then I heard Sam Uley's voice in my head telling me to come to him. I thought wow, not only am I a huge wolf I'm now crazy but.."

"As a wolf you're almost telepathic. You can hear what the other guys and Leah are thinking. Whatever we think is just shown to everyone. Sam can control it really well. I'm still crap at it." Quil mutters. "I think some of the guys are happy we're.. well.. talking. I won't have to moan about you now."

"You moaned about me?"

"Not in that way, sicko!"

"You know I didn't mean it that way, Quil! You weirdo."

"God, I want to kiss you." Quil blurts out. The aura of the conversation changes and suddenly it seems like we are back to the way we were.

"Kiss me then." I tell him honestly.

He looks back to the road and bites his lip. "You see, I would. I really would. Gladly. But, you gotta just know, it's still fucked. You don't know everything just yet, and when you do know everything you could hate me for kissing you."

"Quil, like shut up. I'd never hate you. Or hate you for kissing me."

"You will. In the future, you'll look at me and you won't feel what you feel for me right now."

"Quil, there is no way that in the future I'll look at you and not feel the way I feel right now." I say looking at him. "It's cheesy and you'll laugh but after Dad disappeared I'd assumed it was all over like that week I didn't see you I'd assumed that slowly I'd disappear too that I'd fall into some dark abyss and no one would find me but you came and you pulled me from that dark abyss and you kept me on my feet. I can't imagine a day I won't love you."

"You don't get it, H. I know, I mean I really know. I know and it fucking kills because the idea of not being able to love you cuts me to shreds."

"How do you know?" I ask, slightly annoyed. "Do you have some wolf physic ability now?"

"Yes." He says, "Well no! But yes. I mean it's not a proper future telling ability. It's just something that's planned for us, that if we - if we find someone - If the wolf finds someone that they think will make the wolf stronger or maybe will make the wolf give off better 'genes', then that person is yours. And no one else can have them, and the wolf won't want anyone else and the person they want won't want anyone else either."

"And what?" I ask frowning. "Have you found that 'person'?"

"No." He says, quickly. "Well, yeah, you. But I'm not your choice."

"I'm so confused, Quil. Honestly, can you just tell me?"

"No. Alpha's orders. It's not my place to tell you or anyone elses."

"So what? Is it in my Dad's diaries?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know."

"So, basically I'll go my whole life not knowing what choice I got or what 'wolf' I got?" I ask him, "Cause I know, Quil Ateara the only wolf I want is you."

He rolls his eyes. "You don't get it."

"I'm waiting for you to explain but 'alphas orders' are in the way."

He rolls his eyes again. "We're changing the subject. Ask me any questions besides wolf genes or wolf choices."

"Right.. Hmm. What color are you as a wolf, then?"

"Interesting question. I could always show you."

"Uhm. No. I've seen too many wolves than I've wanted today."

"Right well, the boys make fun of me cause I look like a chocolate bar apparently. It reflects how sweet I am, Emily says but I ask her not to say it so openly." Quil chuckles. "I'm big, bigger than Embry and Leah but not the biggest."

"Who's biggest?"

"It goes from Sam, Paul to Jared."

"Is that who gave you that scar?" I point to the fading pink puckered scar on his chest that had faded a little more from when I'd last noticed. "Did Paul give you that?"

"Yeah.." Quil mumbles. "Paul and I get along just.. not right now."

"He gave you trouble on the beach the other day didn't he?"

"You saw that?"

"No. Tara told me about it. She said he was really angry at you, why?"

"He was just pissed because I.. Well, I'm new to the pack y'know.. It's hard to get the hang of it so I just made a mistake and it cost us a lot. It's alright now though."

"He scared me today." I say honestly, remembering his honey brown eyes as I looked into them.

"How's your wrist now?" Quil asks, quietly looking off the road toward it.

"Just a bit swollen. I'll visit Sue in the morning."

"Yeah, do." Quil says. "Paul's just an angry dude, he was angry before the change so afterwards it just amplified. That's why he's not in school anymore, he's a basket case. We can't send him to patrol the beach anymore because he gets in fights with those pot head teens."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Quil seemed in the zone talking crap about Paul. "When I saw him with that grip on your wrist, and then when it happened.. and you fainted. I got so mad, I've never phased like that before. I just had to, I felt like I had to defend you. I couldn't let him get away with Sam scolding him. I've never wanted to destroy someone more."

I decided to change the subject as we came up the familiar beach road. Quil's face got stormy talking about him, angry as if he could just phase on the spot. It scared me.

"I think you should drop me home, Q." I tell him. "I was meant to meet up with Tara and Amber at that beach party and then stay at Tara but I want to get home and just read the books now. I want to get to the bottom of this since no one will tell me anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll call Tara or Amber and explain." I smile tiredly as he pulls in toward my house. He speeds up a bit and pulls in on the curb and halts the car to a stop. "Do you wanna come in for a while?"

"I think it's best not to. I think you should read it all by yourself so you can really take it in, y'know?" Quil says. "Luca won't be in till late, and it sounds like Brady's snoring and your Mom's asleep on the couch."

"Speaking of my everyone, who knows? Obviously Luca does, but who else?"

"All the Clearwaters, your Mom, my Granddad, my Grandma, my Mom. Everyone on the council, really. Jared's girlfriend does too, you know Kim right? Kim Conweller. You'll probably get to know her better soon."

"Right, thank you." I mumble, undoing my belt and getting out of the car. Quil follows, jogging around to my side. We walk to my door quietly.

"I'm going to kiss you now, and I'm going to prove to you I won't regret it. I'm going to kiss you so lovingly, you'll take back what you said completely, right?"

Quil hesitates. "Uhh -"

I caress his face softly before pulling him into the kiss. It takes him a second to get into it, his hands slowly wrap around my waist and his mouth slowly starts to guide mine into the kiss. It lasts a few seconds more and we're about to go deeper as Quil's hand moves down my waist toward my bum, but then the porch light flickers on and I realize Mom's awake and she's telling us to wrap up our loving goodbyes like she used to do.

I pull away and give him a small smile. "Do you see now, Quil?"

He gives me a smile. "Yeah. I do."

"Good. I'll see you when I finish all these books tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yes. I'll be here whenever you call me."

I give him one last final peck before unlocking the front door and walking inside. Mom peaks her head outside the door from the kitchen to the hall and smiles. "You and Quil back together then?"

"We never weren't together, Mom." I say slowly. "And I know, by the way."

"You know?" She plays dumb. "You know what?"

"That unicorns roam the earth and Shrek is based on a true story - what do you think I know?"

"You broke Sam then?" She asks, quietly. "Did he tell you everything?"

"No." I mumble. "Paul Lahote got angry and phased in front of me."

"Oh! Are you okay?" She rushes from the kitchen to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I mutter. "He just hurt my wrist, is all."

"And they explained at Emily's did they?" She asks, "Was Luca there? I wouldn't like to be Paul when Luca gets him."

"Well, Leah did slightly." I tell her. "Sam told me to read Dad's stuff and come back to him. I didn't see Luca at all, he was here getting ready for his patrol with Jake."

"I don't know when he left, probably through the window." She chuckles. "I thought you were meant to be going to a party? How did you end up provoking Paul?"

"I was but I just wanted to make up with Paul first." I yawn. "I better call Tara and Amber before they get home. They'll be worried." I walk toward the staircase and pull myself up the stairs.

"Don't be up all night reading his books, H. They'll give you nightmares."

I rolled my eyes. Seemingly, I don't think the books would give me nightmares. I think Paul Lahote had beat the books to it. The memory of his vicious eyes, and the anger as he stared at me scared me already. If he had the power to break my wrist within a squeeze as a person, how badly could he hurt me as a wolf? The thought haunted me, but confused me because if I was so afraid of him why did I want to get to know him better?