Authors Note;
I wasn't planning on addressing this but enough people told me that I should so I will. I apologize to everyone ahead of time for how what I'm about to say may come off.
In regards to the long review by "Girlrealtalk"; Rayne is acting the exact way any jealous, confused, angry woman would act. She is cruel to Clarke because she is acting like a Naïve girl. That is how I personally view Clarke, and considering this is a FANFICTION it's normal for me to instill how I view people otherwise it's not fiction nor is it my personal interpretation of the show/book.
Rayne doesn't "hate" on everything Clarke does, it seems that way because she is jealous of the girl. That's life; it's normal for a person to become jealous of another and to act out. They are stranded on a planet with no real idea or clue what their doing. Rayne is also fully aware of how childish she's acting. I have had her mention it a few times.
The story hasn't progressed enough; Clarke will react to Rayne eventually it hasn't gotten to that point yet. Why would she be mentally scared is a question I have. Clarke is a 17/18 year old girl, everything I have had her do is things normal girls that age do. If I didn't have drama in the story like the stuff between Rayne and Clarke, or Octavia, Raven. This story would be far to dry and romantic for my tastes.
There WILL be a resolve between the girls, no one's being punished for anything that happened on the bridge either. When I watched the episode I got the feeling Anya was NEVER planning to make any deal, sign any treaty. That was shown by her pulling a knife on Clarke, bringing her armed guards, and having people hide in the trees. As for how Rayne was acting in that chapter… she was being realistic and honest, while trying to instigate Clarke so she would pull her aside to say something SO Rayne could tell her that she had noticed such things.
As for her being too involved…. This entire story is about her, her life, her thoughts, and her actions. Therefore it makes sense for her to be completely involved in things. I'm sure everyone has noticed that on the show; Clarke is ENTIRELY involved in everything that goes on in it. All I did was the same with my own character, also she isn't god like. Nor is she liked and loved by everyone, the only people she GETS ALONG WITH, not liked by or loved, are the main group in the show. Everyone else just sees her as the doctor, or the girl sleeping with Bellamy… not this amazing person whom is loved by all.
She can't be a Mary Sue, that's a character that is basically great at everything, does no wrong, etc… my character exhibits, weakness, anger, sadness, rage, jealousy, she can be cruel, mean, nice, she portrays all the emotions. If I where to have her be Mary Sue than she would be kind to everyone and liked by all, there would be no fights and even her enemy's would like her. The reason her and Clarke constantly but heads is because they can be so similar. Ex: Have a person who's crying, comfort a person who's crying… they will both just continue to cry even more.
Both Clarke and Rayne are strong-minded people with a way they see things and understand things. They will but heads, and when Clarke doesn't react to the way Rayne is treating her it's only showing the kind of person Clarke is, it shows she's both understanding and forgiving. Which is how I wanted to portray her. She may be a hypocrite but if she was plain and boring and had no substance to her than she wouldn't be worth understanding. Everyone on this planet is a combination of good and evil, they can be great wonderful people, but when they are angry, upset or outright confused they can be rude, mean, spiteful.
I've been bullied almost my entire life and still get bullied, and I can admit even victims of bullying can be bullies. Rayne is not a bully, if anything she is angry. In earlier chapters I explained how Clarke and Bellamy would meet late at night or go off on their own together. Neither of them have ever and still haven't explained to Rayne WHY they did what they did. So Rayne takes it out on Clarke because of the numerous times they had the chance to tell her and didn't.
In my chapters I do state when they are Rayne's point of view or Bellamy's. They are also the ONLY points of view this story will ever be written in. I understand that you don't plan to read it anymore however if there are problems you're having with my story, make an account on here and tell me directly rather than lashing out on me in a review. That IS how this was seen by me and a few others who told me about the review and read it.
This is a fan fiction, nothing is going to be perfect… it's going to have luls, and characters where at times you'll want to toss them off a cliff… EVERY story is like that. It's sticking with it till the end to see what happens. Like I said, things haven't happened yet… this story follows the show time line. Rayne also isn't meant to be 100% relatable because not everyone goes through the same things. However if I lost you or anyone else as readers, I'm sorry I didn't keep your attention like I would have liked. And yes; I deleted your comment. I felt it was negative and I really don't want to see negativity on my page. If you don't like my story, or don't like how I'm writing MY story… it's simple don't read it or write your own.
I needed to address this because I almost stopped writing my story because of it, actually dampened my spirits. As lame as that probably sounds, as for the few that messaged me about it and talked me into continuing the story and boosting my self esteems. Thanks. You guys are literally awesome.
Again this isn't a "bellarke" story if that's what you're looking for it's not this. Sure I'm probably coming off as rude or b!tchy however this is my work anyone who spends their own time on something and works at it only for it to be ripped apart is going to be upset so yes, I'm going to be saddened if people stop reading it after this story. However I'm not going to change something that people are clearly enjoying because one person doesn't like that I didn't make Clarke the center of the universe. If you want to discuss my story with me email me nessasimone at live dot ca (obviously with the symbols and period not words) talk to me about it rather then spamming my reviews with anger.
Rayne's Point of View
"Clarke!" I yelled causing the blond to whip around and look at me with a soft smile.
"Rayne… I didn't think you would come… honestly." She said looking around.
"Of course I would, we both know I've been nothing but a bitch to you since this whole this whole Bellamy thing happened. I should have just talked to you. I should have just listened to you… I don't know what the hell came over me." I began to confess to her.
I knew Clarke, no matter how cruel someone was to her, no matter what was thrown at her. She always turned the other cheek; she just stood strong and prevailed, pushed right through it. That's the kind of person she was, that's the kind of person her parents raised her to be. Not like me at all, my parents never got the chance to raise me, or show me right from wrong. I just saw how jealous my mom would get, how many lies my dad could tell.
Maybe that's why I was so screwed up when it came to Bellamy; maybe I was just so possessive of him that the thought of him being close to anyone else tormented me. That was no excuses for how I was treating Clarke. She's lost just as much as I have and with that drop ship from a few days ago that crash-landed. She basically lost everything I lost, sure I had Kane but he was never around.
I felt a hard hand smack me right across the cheek. I stood there my eyes on the ground off to the side after Clarke had smacked me. "I am so sorry Rayne." She said. "I… I don't know why I did that…" She said.
"Clarke… slapping me for the way I treated you the past two months. Is absolutely the last thing you should ever say sorry for." I told her, "I'm half surprised that you didn't punch me. I deserve it, Clarke when did we get so distant?" I asked her.
She smiled at me, "When we started letting boys become something that matters to us." She sighed.
"You know I will be by your side when we go check out the crash site tomorrow."
Clarke pulled me close to her in a hug, "Like old times?" She asked.
"Like old times, god I've been so stupid and back on the bridge that was my fault." I told her shaking my head.
"No, it wasn't." She said with her arm draped over my shoulder as we both began to walk back towards the camp.
"Clarke, I made you look like an idiot." I told her. "No, you didn't. You where being honest, you where pointing it out from all sides… like I should have been, I guess I was just so eager to trust that they wouldn't lie to us…"
"It just felt like… I just got the feeling the whole thing was a set up. You know? Like why ask for you, and be ok with me coming with you but no one else you know?" I said, "It was like she was never going to do a deal with us…" I began to rant as Clarke squeezed me.
"Hey, figures you where right… but why would she want you there?" She asked me.
"I have no idea… I asked Octavia to ask Lincon but… she hasn't found anything out yet…"Clarke shrugged as we entered the camp only for Bellamy to stand there gun in hand looking at us both with a mixture of anger and disappointment.
"What did I say about leaving the camp unarmed or at all…" He asked us.
"We where making up, didn't think one needed weapons to do that." Clarke laughed as the two of us entered the camp.
Later in the evening Clarke and I sat by the fire eating some rabbit that was caught earlier in the day laughing and smiling, talking about the days on the Ark. I almost forgot what this felt like, forgot what being around her felt like. She was my friend, probably one of my best. The fact that I was so crude to her just because I was jealous and worried about losing a guy was ridiculas to me.
"So, honestly." I said to her with a smile, "No feelings there at all?" I asked her.
She shook her head; "God no. Ray Ray, that's your man, sure he's cute, sure he protects me… but he protects me to keep you happy. Changes nothing, besides I have Murphy." She told me with a smile.
"You two are happy together? You and Murphy?" I asked her.
"I'm happy, I just sometimes get the feeling he's just… using me." She told me as I felt my mouth drop slightly while looking at her, "There's no way that's true, no way."
She smiled; "You always where the one with high faith in others." Clarke said softly.
"And you where always the forgiving one, trust your heart Clarke… I mean you forgave me." I smiled at her.
"It's was a hard decision." She chuckled.
"Oh I'm sure." I teased.
"There you are." I heard Bellamy's voice from behind us to see him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, Murphy was standing next to him with a grin on his face as the two guys walked over to us.
"Does this mean we can go on double dates now?" Clarke asked causing me to nearly choke on the water I was drinking. I almost couldn't stop laughing as I turned to her. "Of course this does, dates include long walks avoiding toxic fogs, and camp outs deep in the woods as we watch the indigenous people." I told her watching the boys roll their eyes at us.
"I'm starting to wish you two were still at each others throats." Bellamy sighed as he stood up putting his hand out for me to take.
"See you two in the morning." Bellamy said as I gave Clarke another tight hug before Bellamy and I left towards out tent.
I pulled off my jacket, sweaters and shit putting them off to the side as Bellamy did the same before he sat down on the bed in his briefs looking at me as he slowly pulled me closer to him undoing my pants for me. He left his hands on my hips kissing my stomach before looking at up me.
"That was really big of you to apologize to Clarke." He told me.
"She slapped me, I deserved worse for what happened." I sighed, "Bellamy I was completely cruel to her, to you… hell I acted like you two where terrible and I was some perfect person… I'm not." I said as I pushed my hands through his hair.
"No, you're right. You aren't perfect," He told me as I tugged on his hair a bit.
"You're human, is what you are Ray. We all make mistakes, that entire thing could have been avoided if we all just talked to each other." He said as he pulled me closer so that I was straddling him.
"Bells, she thinks John is using her…" I told him.
"Yea, she told me the same thing… I kind of have to agree with her." He told me.
Arching my brow I looked at him softly shaking my head till I finally cocked it to the side, as I ran my hands down his arms. "What makes you say that?" I asked.
"The fact that all he likes talking about is you. He barely even mentions Clarke unless I'm the one that brings it up… Ray-" I stopped him by placing three fingers over his mouth. "I love you Bellamy, and after all this crap you and I have gone through just to have each other. Nothing will take that away from us, I love you." I told him as I kissed him softly.
"And I'm sorry for doubting you, for not understanding why you where upset about Murphy's feelings for me… for everything." I told him as he pulled me even closer to him.
"Well if you're offering to make it up to me… I can think of a few ways for you to do that." He said winking at me.
"Such a dirty boy." I said to him softly. "Don't even try to act like you don't love it." He said pulling me backwards onto the bed.
Clarke and I walked side by side through the forest for nearly an entire day and night before we finally made it to the exodus crash site. When we finally saw all the chard trees and massive crater debris field. She quickly took my hand as we began to walk around for any signs of either of our parents. I hoped to god Abby and Marcus where still on the Ark and this ship falling to Earth was a malfunction, or an accident. I could tell by the pressure of the squeeze she was placing on my hand she was hoping the same thing.
The last words we had said to either of our parents was how mad we where with them, how we couldn't forgive them for what they did. I know Clarke told her mom she loved her; at least she said that much if this was the end. Clarke pulled my hand leading me off into the field of debris passing chard skeletons, scraps of metal. It was making me sick just knowing that any of these bodies could be one of our parents and there would be no way of knowing who was who.
Seeing the bodies only made us realize that this wasn't a mistake, Exodus coming to earth was intentional. Someone had meant to launch the ship early, why would they do that? Jaha told Clarke, like Kane told me it would take two days just to power the one ship without killing off one of the sectors. So if this ship came down two days too soon… what did that mean for the Ark?
"Clarke wait up." I said to her as I jogged towards her and some leaking red liquid.
Once I was next to her I turned around to see Bellamy walking around looking at the two of us, Murphy walking along side him. They where looking around along with Finn and Raven. Clarke looked shattered, and I had no idea what to say to her. "She was supposed to be on this one wasn't she?" I asked her.
"Both our parents where, but something tells me the Exodus coming down here wasn't a planned drop." She said looking at me.
"So there's a chance neither were on the ship, when we get back we should try contacting the Ark again make sure they're ok." I said as she nodded.
"Stay sharp." I heard Bellamy suddenly say. "Grounder retaliation for what happened on the bridge is coming, just a matter of when." He said to everyone.
"Maybe we shouldn't have come." Clarke said recapturing my attention. I rushed to her side and put my hand on her shoulders. "We need answers, we need to know if our parents where on this ship. Other than each other and the few left, they are the only real family we have left." I told her as she nodded.
"You blame them?" I heard Finn said causing both Clarke and I to turn our attention towards the group a few yards away from us.
"No I blame you." Bellamy said as he began to move towards Finn.
"Maybe if you didn't bring guns—" Finn started before he got cut off by Raven, causing the smirk playing on Bellamy's lips only to widen.
"If we didn't bring guns, we all would've been killed." She said harshly causing him to look over at her.
"Why are they yelling about this now?" Clarke said with a deep sigh as she leaned forward smelling the weird liquid leaking from the machine next to her.
"Oh, that's some kind of awful." She said looking towards me. I leaned in and sniffed it too, "Damn and I was half hoping it was fruit punch." I said causing a soft laugh to leave her lips.
"Clarke, Rayne! Stop!" We heard Raven yell as she looked towards us.
I noticed Clarke visibly jump startled by Raven's voice, and watched as Bellamy, Finn and Murphy all followed her, Bellamy taking his place next to me, as Murphy stood on the other side of me causing Clarke to stare at me, as I looked at her placing my hand over my heart and nodding at her. She smiled walking over to me and standing between Murphy and I as I grinned to her.
"Is it rocket fuel?" Clarke asked as Murphy took her hand in his.
"Hydrazine…" Raven said finally.
"Wait… what?" I said starting to move towards her as Bellamy held me back slightly.
"Yea and it's highly unstable in its nonsolid form." Raven said as Bellamy pulled me closer to him. "If this stuff meets fire, we're all pink mist."
Raven dipped a rock into the liquid before looking back at everyone who had left with us. I noticed Bellamy and the boys had retreated back inwards looking around again with a few others. Raven looked to the two of us and smirked; "Step back, Fire in the hole!" She yelled out to everyone else tossing the rock off to the side into a small fire causing it to explode making a small ball of fire push up off the ground.
"That escalated quickly…" I said looking over at Clarke only for her to start shaking her head softly with a soft smile.
"We need to clear the area." Raven said as Clarke linked her arm with mine and began to take me away. "Ok, then." Bellamy said curtly as he tore his eyes from mine before turning around to face the search team we'd brought.
"We move in formation, no straggling, weapons hot." Bellamy ordered everyone else gathering a few 'yeas' and 'yes's' along the way before Finn made his way over to Raven passing Clarke and I on the way. "We got to get back before dark." He continued ordering everyone.
"When'd he get so bossy?" Clarke asked me.
"You're only just noticing this?" I said turning slightly to her arching my brow.
"He's your boyfriend." Clarke chuckled.
"You know, you don't have to put on a brave face for me Clarke. I know you're hurting, I know what seeing if she was down here or not meant to you." I told her as she nodded.
"I don't want anyone else to see that wall I built tumble down, that's all I need." Clarke said.
"Even the bravest warriors, need to cry sometimes. It doesn't show weakness, it shows strength." I told her as she smiled.
"Then we can have a sob fest when we get back to the camp." She teased.
"You mean home? I don't know why we all still bother calling it the camp… it's our home now." I told her as she shrugged.
"Habit I guess." She sighed.
"Hey mind if I take her from you?" Bellamy asked Clarke as we all continued into the forest heading back to the camp.
"Of course, all yours… I'll go find Murphy." She said awkwardly before turning to leave. "See you at the camp fire?" I shouted to her as she nodded.
"Seems like old times again between you two." He told me.
"I hope so, god I was so stupid Bellamy." I told him, he chuckled.
"Kind of, but hey… like I said before, we're only human and it's only human to make mistakes. What matters is things are patched up again, and we can all just stop the madness and be friends." He smiled taking my hand in his sending a shiver down my spine.
"Yea, I suppose so. I just don't know what was wrong with me, it was like I was so blinded by my own selfishness that I just-" He cut me off by stopping me letting Clarke and Murphy walk ahead of us.
"Stop; Rayne, you make a mistake. Stop beating yourself up for it, you're both women its kind of expected of you to just flip out and have cat fights every now and then." He laughed as I slapped his arm.
"Has nothing to do with my gender you idiot." I said shaking my head.
"True, but it has everything to do with all of us not talking to each other…"
"Hey, love birds, keep up!" Clarke shouted back to us causing Bellamy to loop his arm with mine dragging me till I was jogging at his pace.
"I cannot wait to get back to the camp." Clarke whined.
"Me too, I'm so tired of walking." Murphy sighed.
"We're almost there, quit your complaining." Bellamy laughed.
We finally reached the camp and everyone seemed to be standing around the drop ship like there was something important going on. Bellamy quickly grabbed my hand as Clarke and I looked at each other confused about what was going on.
"Bellamy, you'll never believe who came back to the camp." Monty said quietly.
"Pascal, Trina?" He asked.
"No, not at all… Dax." Monty told him as I turned to look at Clarke, hadn't Dax vanished the day she and Bellamy went to look for the supplies? I then noticed something even weirder than the fact that Dax had returned. Murphy's expression, he was the only person who didn't look surprised by the sudden return of Dax.
"I thought you two said he died." I whispered to Clarke, "It's a long story, I'll explain it after we all see Dax…" She said as I nodded.
"He looks messed up he's covered in scratches, scars, cuts and blood." Monty continued to explain.
"I'll examine him, where is he?" I asked. "Drop-" He was cut off by Bellamy taking off towards the drop ship.
"Let's go before he kills him." I said. "Yea who knows why he looks that way, he could know something." Clarke nodded to me as she took me by the wrist and lead me after Bellamy towards the drop ship.