Anna
I'm exhausted. I was up all night thinking about the call with Sid. In fact, I was thinking about all of the moments with Sid since training camp started regardless of my promise for it not to happen. Tonight is a big night too. It's the first bobble head giveaway and it's Geno. Jen is letting me run with the whole thing and I've been crazed.
"Go have a nap."
I look up and Adam is beside my desk. His arms are crossed and he's frowning at me.
"Adam, I can't. There's too much to do."
"There is nothing left to do except open the doors. You can have a nap" he tells me.
I point to the box beside me with a dozen bobble heads in them.
"I have to get these autographed by Geno" I tell Adam.
"And what else?"
I look at my desk and my phone but I really can't think of what else I have to do. Is that because there's nothing to do or because my sleep deprived brain has stopped thinking?
"That's what I thought" he tells me. "Go down and get these autographed as Geno is leaving from practice and then have a nap."
There's an office at ice level that is used for overflow for player meetings. The PR team put a sofa in it so that we can use it for exactly this purpose. The idea is a really good one right now.
"That's actually a good idea" I tell him.
He stays until I've picked up the box and start walking to the elevator before he goes back to his desk. I'm down in the players' lounge quickly and sit to wait for Geno.
"You miss me already?" Geno calls from across the room.
I chuckle and reply "always."
He sits on the couch next to me and looks in the box.
"I sign them already" he points to the bobble heads.
"You signed the ones for the kids you invited to your box tonight. These are the ones that we're auctioning on the internet. I thought we'd get them all done today."
Geno tilts his head and says "no, you miss me."
I roll my eyes and hand him the Sharpie marker. He takes it, smirks at me and then begins signing the bobble heads.
"The kids, all ready?" he asks me.
"The box is set up with the gift bags. We have your signed sweater, bobble head and a signed Pens puck in each one. The Pens also gave them each stuffed Icebergs and a Pens' Terrible Towel. The parents all know where and when to meet me so that I can take them to the box and it will be ready for food and drinks for them. I've asked the staff to check between every period to make sure that they're ok."
"You think of everything" he tells me and pats my arm. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome Geno."
He pats my arm again, awkwardly, and then stands.
"Ok, we good?"
"Yes, that's all I need Geno."
He leaves the room and I pack up the signed bobble heads into the box. Thankfully, no one has noticed me so I slip out of the room and down the hall. The overflow office is empty and the sofa immediately beckons me to get comfortable. In thirty seconds I've put the box on the desk, put the occupied sign on the door and slipped my shoes off. The sofa is as comfortable as it looks. I think I actually sigh as I snuggle in.
I begin to drift off and then I hear a soft knock on the door. Or did I just imagine it? Nothing happens so I close my eyes again. I know I hear the next three soft knocks and the door opens and the bright hall lights flood inside the room.
"Anna, it's me, Sid" I hear and see the outline of Sid's body when I look across the room.
I sit up quickly and smooth my skirt and hair. Sid closes the door as I hunt around for my shoes. Where the hell are they?
"I hope you don't mind that I followed you down here. I didn't catch you before you left the lounge and I wanted to talk to you."
My eyes become adjusted to the dark again and I can see Sid's silhouette as he moves across the room and then sits on the sofa beside me. I give up on my shoes.
"I hope you don't mind" he says.
I realize that I've said nothing and reply "of course it's ok. Do you need something?"
Sid chuckles and says "nothing official. I just wanted to talk with you. Do you have a few minutes?"
"Um, sure" I know that I sound as confused as I feel.
"How are you?" he asks.
Ok, this is really weird. We're in a dark office, on a sofa, alone and he's asking me how I feel. Is this sleep deprivation? Am I imaging what's happening right now?
"Um, I'm ok" I tell him.
"Are you sure? It's not like you to look tired or come down here to use the nap room, right?"
"I look tired?"
"I don't mean that you don't look good. I mean, you look good, it's just that you look tired too. Shit. Ok, I'm going to leave and come back in so we can ignore that the last minute never happened ok?"
Sid stands so I reach out and take his arm. He sits back down on the sofa, closer to me this time.
"To be honest, I am tired. A quick nap will fix that" I tell him.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm ok. Didn't sleep well last night" I tell him and then realize that I spoke with him before I went to bed. Is he going to know that he's the reason I couldn't sleep?
"I had trouble falling asleep too" he says in a low, deep voice. I feel a shiver race through my body. "When I finally did, I had really great dreams."
There is that shiver again and then again when Sid slides his hand so that he's holding mine. His thumb brushes across my knuckles and I feel him shift on the sofa next to me so that we're almost facing each other. His free hand slides up my arm, slowly, from my wrist, over my elbow, to my shoulder and then he cups my cheek.
I'm unable to resist as he pulls my face close to his. I can feel his breath and smell peppermint like toothpaste. His thumb slides across my cheek. He doesn't move any closer. Is he waiting for me? I can say no. This is the time to make everything right again and just say no. There's no one around and we're face to face. I should stand up, turn on the lights and tell Sid that I'm not interested in anything with him. Clearly telling him that my job is in on the line doesn't matter to him. That's weird. Why doesn't he care that I could lose my job?
"I can hear your mind whirling Anna. What's going on?"
He moves back but only an inch. I can still feel his breath on my lips and the heat of his body so close that it's warming mine.
"Sid, I could lose my job."
"You won't."
"I signed a contract."
"You won't lose your job."
"Sid, seriously, it's in the contract."
"Two things" he begins and his thumb brushes my bottom lip this time. "One, no one is going to find out. Everyone knows not to ask about my personal life, except for the guys I'm close with, so we can be careful. If by some miraculous twist of fate someone does find out then I'll take care of it."
"What?"
"I never do this, use who I am to the franchise, but I would for you. Mario would take care of it."
"Oh Sid, are you listening to yourself? Sneaking around and using your name to get favours. For what?"
"For this" he whispers.
His lips softly slide over mine. It takes me less than two seconds to respond. I wrap my fingers around his wrist, telling myself that I'm going to push him away, but instead I hang on tight.
I give in to the heat coursing through me and return Sid's kiss with ardour. I feast my hands in his hair which is still damp from his after-practice shower. Sid's hand slides to the back of my neck and then into my hair where he quickly pulls out all of the carefully placed pins that were keeping it up. He runs his hand through my hair and the feel of his fingers against my scalp almost have me purring.
His lips move from mine, over my cheek and then take my earlobe. His lips suck and his tongue laves. I feel it directly between my legs when he sinks his teeth into the tender flesh. My body is like a musical instrument and he knows how to get every note out of it.
"Anna" he sighs as he pulls back.
I can only make out the outline of his features in the mostly dark room. I slide my hands to cradle his face.
"Yes" I whisper.
I can feel his smile against my hands.
"I like saying your name" he whispers and leans in to lightly kiss my lips.
"Ok" is all I can manage back.
"Ok?"
"Yeah, ok" I reply.
Sid chuckles but he can't say anything because I've captured his lips now. They are plump, warm and wet from my own. I act strictly on instinct and take his bottom lip between my teeth and lightly bite. Sid groans and I feel his fingers tighten at my waist and in my hair. It feels so good that I do it again.
Sid turns more towards me and then pushes me back against the sofa. I lean back until I'm lying flat and Sid is half on top of me and half beside me on the sofa. I can feel his hard body against my own and tremble, actually tremble with need. All of the memories of that night, that one night, come rushing back.
I grab onto his shoulders then slide my hands over his back. Sid's hand starts at my knee, slides up my thigh and disappears under my skirt. My body acts on its own and my hips tilt up seeking. Sid groans so I push up against him again. That elicits another groan and his lips hungrily take mine. I try to keep up with the sensations but my body is on fire in so many places that I can barely keep up.
His hand pulls my skirt up so that Sid can fully rest his body over mine and between my legs. He rocks his hips against mine and I push up against to meet him. We continue kissing and grinding trying to touch each other everywhere.
My brain tells me that this is getting quickly out of hand. It's like cold water flows through my veins. Sliding my hand over Sid's shoulder and to his chest, I push him back slightly. Sid immediately stops and drops his forehead against mine.
"Wow" he says.
I giggle, I don't know why, and reply "yeah, wow."
"I really did just come in here to talk to you. It's hard to get you alone around here and I'm serious about keeping this away from everyone. You will not lose your job."
He says it so emphatically that I almost believe him.
"If I was a better guy, I would leave you alone but I'm just not. There is this, I don't know, pull. Don't you feel it?"
"Yes" I can't lie to him.
His body is lying on mine, I feel his erection against my centre and every place that his body is touching mine, warming it.
"Please say that we can see where this goes Anna. We can keep it away from everyone, no one will know, I promise. Just say that you want to try this too."
My brain says it's not a good idea, in fact disastrous is the word my brain says over and over again. I often wonder how people can say that their body over rides their head and I've always thought it was crap; not anymore.
"Yes" I tell him.
Sid leans down again and kisses my lips. Neither of us can break away so we have more of a make out session until we're both breathless.
"Ok, I really have to get home and you need to nap here" Sid tells me.
He slides off my body and stands beside the sofa. I sit up and push my skirt down. My shirt is partially pulled out of my skirt so I just pull it all the way out and stand next to him.
He cups my cheeks and says "I really did come to talk with you."
I giggle like I'm a twelve year old girl. Sid smiles and kisses me quickly but thoroughly.
"Can I call you tonight after the game?" he asks.
"Yes" I manage.
Good thing we didn't talk because all I've been able to manage is one word responses.
"Yes" he replies, gives me one more kiss and then leaves.
I fall back onto the sofa after the door closes and Sid's gone. I'm in so much trouble.
Sidney
We won the game but I almost don't care, almost because I always care about winning, but now I'm more interested in getting into the house so that I can call Anna. I wonder if she'll be home now or if she had more to do at Consol since it was Geno's bobble head night. Maybe I'll text her first. Or should I just call because I said I'd call? No, I'll text.
'Are you home?' I send.
A few moments later, she sends back 'just leaving Consol now. 10 mins?'
'Ok, talk soon'
I catch my reflection in the hall mirror as I walk into my house and a huge grin is returned back to me. I can call her in ten minutes. Wanting to be on time, I quickly change from my suit into a tee shirt and shorts and put the TV on to catch up on some scores. It's never too early to start watching the standings and the Pirates won tonight so I want to check up on their competition too.
The time passes slowly, very slowly, and I miss most of the scores as I watch my phone. When there is only one minute left, I get even more excited to talk to Anna. She said that she'll give us a chance. It's only for the season anyway. We can hide things for one season. Except for the year we won the Cup, I've kept my personal life out of the public. If anyone is good at hiding a relationship, it's me.
When the clock clicks one more minute, I'm hitting 'dial' for Anna's number.
"Hi" she answers and sounds out of breath. Fuck, she sounds good.
"Hi" I reply. "Is this still a good time?"
"Yeah, but can you wait one minute? Just hang on, ok?"
"Sure" I tell her.
It sounds like she puts the phone down and then I hear rustling. What is she doing?
"Shit" I hear her shout.
"Are you ok?" I ask.
Of course she doesn't hear me. I don't have to wait too long for her to come back on the line.
"Sorry about that Sid. I almost managed to get changed before you called so I just needed to finish."
I begin to wonder what she's wearing but I give my head a shake. I called her to talk not have phone sex.
"Everything ok?" I ask.
"Yeah, I just put a hole in my stockings as I took them off."
Now I really wonder what she's wearing. She doesn't give me too much time to imagine though.
"That was a great game. Two points for you" she says and I focus back on talking with her.
"Yeah, we played well. We almost lost it in the third but we ran out the clock before they could put another one up."
"You know, I actually know what that means now" she tells me and chuckles.
"You're picking it up quickly. That's awesome."
"Yeah, I still get confused about icing but I'm picking most things up."
I don't want to talk about hockey. I want to learn more about Anna.
"I keep meaning to ask you about what you're going to do with your master's degree?"
"You mean after I get it?"
"Yeah, are you going to work in PR.?"
She's quiet, too quiet, and I wonder if I've said something wrong.
"I actually don't know what I'll do. I may even need to defer my graduate work for a few years."
Her voice has changed from sounding fun and light to small and disappointed. Something is definitely wrong.
"What's going on Anna? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, not at all Sid. It's just that it's not necessarily up to me if I can go directly to graduate school."
Confused, I ask "if not you, then who would decide?"
"Um, well, if my dad is in election mode then I'll have a campaign schedule. When he ran for governor, it was too busy to do anything else. I can only imagine if he runs for" she stops there.
Ah, if he runs for president.
"Has he decided to run for president?" I ask.
"He has an exploratory committee looking at the possibilities but has made no decision yet."
I recognize that tone of voice. I use that tone of voice often.
"Do you think that there will ever be a time when you can drop the 'company-line' with me?" I ask softly.
She's silent and it's so quiet that I can hear her breathing.
"I'm sorry Sid. It's so ingrained in me to answer those kinds of questions 'on message' as they call it. Do you know that I receive a weekly email from my mother that updates me on the key messages of the week? She wants to make sure that if anyone asks then I'm ready with the right kind of answer."
"Wow" I say before I can do more than just react. "You get it weekly?"
"Yep and there was even a conference call before we went to Washington."
Now I'm confused. "Why did you have to go on a conference call?"
"My father's staff heard that we were going to be in Washington for a game so they set up a tour for me to give key supporters in Congress. Mom wanted to make sure that I knew what to say and what messages they wanted to make sure that I shared. They also told me information about each Congressman so that I knew about their families, key issues in their district and any recent accomplishments."
Holy shit. I've never been prepared like that in my life. She had to go through that just to give a thirty minute tour.
"Wow, that's a lot to prepare. Hmm, that's not even your real job" I reply.
She laughs and I'm stunned because it doesn't even sound like her. Her laugh sounds hallow and bitter.
"Governor's daughter is always my first job Sid."
"Well your first job sucks."
She laughs again but it's genuine like the stress balloon has just been popped.
"Yeah Sid, it sometimes does."
We definitely need a change of topic.
"Tell me about your first boyfriend" I say.
"That's a left turn in the conversation."
"And that's not an answer" I tell her.
"Ok, I was sixteen before I was allowed to date. There was a select group of families that my sister and I were allowed to choose from for dating. My first boyfriend was from a prominent southern family, as my mother would say, and very suitable for dating."
"Seriously?" I can't help the question or incredulity in my voice. "You had your boyfriends chosen for you?"
"My mother would say no but it's just a technicality. I could choose from the list my mother created."
I'm still trying to process this and I don't get it.
"Is this because your dad is governor?"
"Oh, no. Dad wasn't governor then. Mom is from Georgia and a proper southern lady. She would say that she has raised proper southern ladies too."
"And what would your proper-southern-lady-mother say about our, um, time together this afternoon?" I can't help myself from asking.
"Oh, she would have to fan herself to prevent fainting."
I'm thankful that she's joking too and the mood lightens.
"We'll keep it to ourselves then. I wouldn't want to be responsible for a downturn in your mother's health" I tell her. "Now, tell me about that first boyfriend."
"Fine, his name was Tad."
"No shit. There are actually guys named Tad?"
"Yes, it is a family nick name. He is Charles Theodore Winston III. Since his grandfather was called Charles and his father was called Teddy, from the middle name, he became Tad."
"Ok then, Tad it is. Tell me about Tad."
"Tad was really sweet actually but there was so much pressure on him as the first born son. His mother is related to one of the Kennedy's although the joke was that the family didn't hold that against her."
"What do you mean they didn't hold it against her?"
"It's a southern thing Sid. The Kennedy family is from Massachusetts and that makes her a northern."
"A northern, seriously? Is this North and South or Gone with the Wind?"
"You would be surprised how much it's still like that in some of the families in the south."
"What did your mother's family think of her marrying a northern?"
"My father always had political aspirations and my mother saw that right away. She knew him well enough that he was going to get there, wherever there was, and she was going with him. She was made to be a politician's wife."
"That sounds kind of sad" I say softly.
"It's what she wanted, so she got it."
Anna doesn't sound angry or even disappointed. She sounds, well, sad, so much for this change of topic. It hasn't quite turned out the way I hoped but I have learned a lot about her.
"What about your first girlfriend?" Anna asks.
"It was the year I went to Shattucks. I was fifteen. Her name was Tanya and she was in my French class."
"Did she like hockey?"
"She liked it but she was there to play baseball."
"Ah, your second favourite sport" Anna says.
"How did you know that?" I ask her.
"You talk about it enough. You also told me about it when we were trapped in that elevator. You played baseball at Shattucks too, right?"
I'm surprised and touched that she remembers that conversation so well.
"Yeah, I did. I played it when I was in Cole Harbour too."
"So Tanya. Tell me more about her. She was athletic. Blond?"
How does she know that?
"Yeah she was. How did you know that?"
She's silent for a moment and then one moment turns in a few before she answers.
"Well, Sid, you kind of have a type. Or at least that's what the girls in the office say."
I don't know what surprises me more; that they think I have a type or that they're talking about it.
"What girls were talking about me?" I say it a little more forceful than I intended.
"I'm sorry Sid, I never should have said anything."
"No, it's ok. I'm just surprised."
"Ok. It can't be a surprise to you that girls talk about you."
I think about it and, yeah, it does surprise me.
"Why would they talk about girlfriends I've had?"
"You really don't know why?" she sounds surprised now.
"No, absolutely no idea" I tell her.
"Sid, you have to know that you're attractive and the female staff notice, often."
I know that I'm not ugly and as an athlete, I know that I have a good body, but they really talk about me.
"I'm still surprised. They said that I have a type?"
"Yep. Although, to be honest, they say that you've only been photographed with two girls, both blonds with athletic bodies."
I take a quick look back in my mind and, shit, whoever 'they' are, they're right. I do have a type. Until Anna.
"Ok, so, yes she was blond" I stay to pull the topic back on track. "Anyway, I left Shattucks, she stayed and that was it. Why did you and Tad break up?"
Anna sighs and says "I guess, after we really got to know each other, we discovered that we had nothing in common. GOP."
"GOP?"
"Good on paper."
"Ah. I guess all of your boyfriends were the good on paper types right?"
"There haven't been that many Sid! But, yeah, you're right."
"So what are you doing with me?"
"Are you saying that you want to be my boyfriend Sid?"
Shit, is that what I'm saying? Is this too much and too soon? I have a feeling that this girl, more than any other I've ever met, has the potential to completely break me; heart and soul.
"If I was saying that, what would you say?" I ask.
"You'll have to say that to hear my answer Sid."
I chuckle. Sassy Anna is back and I love sassy Anna.
"Ok, I'll keep that in mind" I tell her.
I hear her yawn and know that we should both get some sleep; but, I want to keep talking with her. I'm enjoying this conversation too much to hang up.
"Tell me about your sister?" I ask her
"Well, she's just like my mom. She's tall, thin and is very much a southern woman. She always does the right thing at the absolutely right time and will probably marry for all the right reasons."
I'm surprised that the words aren't delivered with malice or dislike; although, there is a lack of emotion that worries me more. I've discovered that Anna loses all emotion in her voice and expression when she hurts the most or if something cuts too close to what she's trying to hide.
"Do you like your sister?" I ask.
"She's my sister, I love her."
"I know you love her but do you like her?"
"No one has ever asked me that before" Anna says. "I don't think I know her well enough to like or dislike her. I guess that itself is sad, huh?"
This late night phone call seems to be demanding honesty from both of us so I have to agree.
"Yeah, it is kinda sad."
"What about your sister? Tell me about her" Anna asks.
"Taylor is awesome" I tell her. "She started playing hockey much later than others but she's been so good. Currently, she's playing on her college team and her dream is to win an Olympic gold medal."
"An admirable goal" she says. "How does she handle being compared to her big brother?"
"Thankfully she isn't compared to me too often. I usually come up in conversations she has about hockey but there's no pro league for women. That's a disappointment but it saves her from comparisons. She also plays goalie and that helps preventing comparisons."
"You're proud of her" she says.
"Yeah, I am."
"And protective I bet."
"Yeah, definitely."
We're both quiet but it's a comfortable silence. I hear rustling.
"What are you doing?" I ask her.
"I'm getting into bed. I'm cold."
Immediately I envision her in one of my Pen's shirts with miles and miles of bare leg. Of course I would be beside her, holding up the covers so that she can slide in beside me.
"Sid?"
"Sorry, my mind wandered" I tell her.
"I don't want to hang up but I really have to get some sleep. I didn't sleep much last night."
"Oh yeah, why is that?" I ask her.
"I refuse to answer because I could incriminate myself."
We both chuckle this time and my heart warms at the thought that thinking about me might have kept her awake last night.
"Ok, I'll let that one go tonight" I tell her. "I should get some sleep too."
Anna sighs into the phone and says "ok, good night Sidney."
"Good night Anna."
We both disconnect and I flop back onto the bed. If my goal was to get to know her more, than the goal was achieved, it's giving me a better picture of who Anna is and it just urges me to want more. I'll have to figure out how to continue this exploration of all things Anna.