APOV

The jeans I had on on Monday are still in the overnight bag that I'd packed for my little escape. Gail knows I'm not comfortable with her doing my laundry so the bag sits, untouched, in the corner of the closet under my skirts and dresses. Normally, this would drive me crazy but right now, I know what's in the pocket of the jeans. A business card and a password.

For two days I've debated reaching out to this 'SubClub'. My reasonings go beyond curiosity, though I'm pretty damn curious as to what these women are like. I know, from the research I've done, that a healthy Dom/sub relationship isn't one based just on sex and that most people who participate in this lifestyle aren't fucked up. I just don't believe it. But Lillian seemed so…normal. Nice, even.

The awareness that a club exists just for ex-lovers of my boyfriend bothers the shit out of me. In some denial filled haze I knew those women existed, I just didn't believe it. Out of sight out of mind and all that crap. But then I met one of them and she was normal. Beautiful. Friendly. And it rocked my world and the small patch of solid ground that I'd been standing on.

No matter how hard I try, I always seem to have a chip of resentment towards Christian and his previous treatment of women. It bothers the hell out of me that he used women and then cut them loose on a whim and as much as I want nothing to do with his ex's, I also feel as a woman that they were wronged and somehow I'm connected to that because I'm now with him. It's not that he had previous relationships that I can't deal with, it's the way he treated these women that bothers me. I can't reconcile the man that I know to the image I have of him from that damn contract.

I'm a firm believer in 'knowledge is power' and I feel like no matter how much I read about BDSM, no matter how many times I talk to Christian about it, I'm not really learning about it. This is my chance at an open conversation about the lifestyle with a woman who's in it. The problem is, she used to fuck my boyfriend. Can I sit across from someone who knows his body and his sexual preferences as well if not better than I do?

You know his heart, Ana.

The decision remains unmade but I rifle through the bag anyway and pull out the two pieces of paper, shoving them in my purse before Christian finishes his shower. I feel guilty as sin sitting next to him at breakfast and in the car while these two tiny scraps of paper threaten to come between us. I should tell him, it's kind of a big deal that she showed up at my apartment but I am so sick of him knowing everything. I didn't feel threatened by her, she seemed quite pleasant actually and he did say he'd be ok with me sitting down with one of his ex-subs…

You demand honesty from him but you keep this hidden. Hypocrite.

"You're jumpy this morning. I thought that round against the shower wall would have put you into Zen mode." His cocky grin makes me smile but my heart thumps against my ribs. I'm hiding something from him and it's eating away at me.

"Lots on my mind as usual." His face falls but he says no more. There's nothing more to say, he's pled his case, I supposedly know everything, and he's agreed to my terms. The elevator ride is as charged as ever and we both react to the tension with heated stares that I know are making Taylor rethink his decision to ride up with us.

"Lunch today?" His thumb rubs over my bottom lip, tugging on it when it reaches the fleshy center so that he can see the wet smoothness of my mouth. I wonder if he even knows that he just groaned out loud. The doors open and Taylor beelines to his office before Andrea can greet him.

"Good morning, Ms. Steele, Mr. Grey. Can I get you coffees?"

"Yes, thank you. Good morning to you as well." I smile sweetly at Andrea before turning back to Christian. "And yes, lunch sounds great." His smile splits his face in two, those perfect white chicklet teeth blinding me.

Jaqueline follows me to my office, placing a steaming mug on the desk and then tapping on the computer to boot it up before turning to me.

"You're all over the news again, Google alert just popped up on my computer a minute ago. Just a warning."

"What? Why?" When I sit down to look I'm appalled, stunned, sickened and the familiar whining sounds of a panic attack descend on me.

-A Steele Grey baby on the way-

Our very own American dream is about to grow by ten fingers and ten toes! A source close to our favorite couple confirmed that indeed the moving vans parked outside of Ms. Steele's apartment were, in fact heading over to Escala, the home of none other than Christian Grey. Our photographers caught a tired Ms. Steele being carried out by Mr. BillionHunk himself and followed them to a doctor's office where Ms. Steele was seen for symptoms related to her pregnancy. The sound of shattered dreams was heard from coast to coast as women everywhere realized that Christian Grey was going to be a daddy…but not to their babies!

"I'm not pregnant." She nods and winces when the door swings open to reveal a tense and very angry Christian and Taylor.

"You. Out." He doesn't look at Jacqueline but she knows he's talking to her because in an instant she's gone. "Welch will be here any second." His pacing and hair pulling is at an all-time high right now and I watch with fascination as he barks into the phone, yelling at people about skinning alive, nailing to a tree and ripping apart. He's mad alright but I'm just shocked.

"Where the fuck did they get that information...every single one of them…I don't give a flying fuck about that…Privacy laws! Are you kidding me? What about her privacy laws?...today, and if it's not done, you're fired." He stops and walks behind my desk to look at my screen. "Fuck!" He yells and then looks at me for the first time. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." He looks torn between wanting to comfort me and wanting to kill somebody.

"I know this isn't your fault."

"No, but it's one more thing to get used to now. One more thing to upset you." My face softens and I smile, cupping his face in my hand.

"Baby, this isn't on you. At all. This is stupid and it's in no way going to upset me the way it's upsetting you." For me, this is a do or die moment. I can either get caught up in the bullshit or I can make a decision to let it roll off. This will always be a part of his life and therefore will always be a part of mine too. There will always be rumors and lies and untruths. I can either get worked up about each one or I can learn to ignore it and live my life the way I want to.

Decisions. That was the theme yesterday when I sat down with Dr. Fischer. I dumped everything I could think of on her. I talked, non-stop for almost a full hour before she asked a very pointed and very simple question.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Well hell if I knew. My silence gave her room to elaborate with more questions. "You either open yourself up to a world of hurt caused by people who have no vested interest in your life or you close out the crap and focus on what matters. You either decide to be with him or not but you can't ride the fence on a relationship; it's not fair to anyone involved. You either let him come to you sexually to vent his frustrations and you find pleasure and purpose in that or you don't. You are the only one who can decide what's allowed in your life and how you're going to let it affect you."

"But what about co-dependency and all that shit?"

"Co-dependency is different than needing someone on occasion to bridge the emotional gap. Define your limits but be flexible when necessary too."

So here I stand. I made a decision last night to lay ground rules on my privacy and now I'm making a decision as to how I'll handle this type of crap.

"Christian, let it go. It's stupid, it's wrong and in the end, it means nothing. You can't change the interest people have in your life and you can't change the way people think. Me and you, nobody else matters." His eyes soften a bit and I think that maybe, maybe I'm getting through to him but then my phone rings and it's my dad. Christian pinches the bridge of his nose and growls.

"Other people do matter, Anastasia. Now I've got your father thinking I knocked you up." I wisely say nothing and answer the phone in the corner just as Welch walks in. His hair is totally gone so he's got nothing to pull but his beard which he does, repeatedly. I'm going to buy every person in this building those squishy stress balls.

"Hi, Dad. No, I'm not pregnant."

"Thank fuck for that." His answer is breathy and rushed. In almost 23 years I've never heard him use the F word. I'm dumbstruck. "But you are moving in? Little soon don't you think, Annie?"

"Well, yes, I do actually but it is safer and…well, I think this is it for me dad. I think he's it for me." Silence. Uncomfortable, unnerving, buzzing silence. The entire room is silent because they all heard what I just said. Kill me now. When I turn Welch snaps his face away and begins barking into his phone again and Taylor does the same but Christian slides his phone onto the desk and smiles bigger than I've ever seen him do before. In three strides he's in front of me, pulling the phone away from my ear before he wraps his arms around me and bends me backwards, kissing me soundly.

"In the entire world, nobody is as happy as I am right now." He looks goofy with that grin on his face and I giggle, embarrassed at my public proclamation but happy that it's made him so over joyed.

His good mood does nothing to stop the flow of anger though and he picks his phone back up and begins shouting again, waving out the two men with one hand. Once they're gone and I've convinced Ray that I am not making him a grandfather, Christian pulls me between his legs where he's leaning on my desk.

"Let it go, Christian." His lips nuzzle my neck, a small snort of 'no' vibrating against my skin.

"Ana, I have to find out where they got the information about the doctor's office. That's serious shit right there." He winces at his choice of words and a flash of anger rushes through me.

"Accessing medical records? Yes, it is pretty serious shit." Decisions, Ana. "Never again, right?"

"Promise. In fact, I'll shred them right now and be done with it."

"Thank you." His tall, lean body stands and stretches before he grabs his ringing phone and turns to go.

"Lunch. And don't read anything more on the internet, I'll take care of it."

My own phone has been buzzing for over ten minutes now and I have to laugh at the missed calls. All the usual suspects. I start with Kate.

"I'm not pregnant."

"I know. I spoke with Christian Monday night when you were sleeping. So what is going on with you?" I sigh and sit, resting my head in my hand on the desk.

"I'm having panic attacks."

"Ooookay. Why? That is so not you, Ana."

"I know. It's a lot, taking on a relationship with someone like Christian. Not just him and his intensity but the way everybody wants a piece of him. I feel like I'm always being watched and picked apart by the press and then when it's just the two of us I've got to deal with crap that I'm unprepared for."

"Like what?"

"Just, stuff. From his past. Ex's and crap like that." I have to be very careful with what I tell Kate. I won't betray Christian no matter how badly I need to vent.

"Well sweetie, he's a freaking billionaire with model looks and a body to kill. You're gonna have chicks desperate for a piece of him. So if you can handle that and you trust him, then take that off your plate. No sense in worrying over things that'll never happen. Now what else is stressing you?"

"Ugh. I'm so sick of talking about this but Hyde was officially indicted yesterday and a date for his trial was set. April of next year so I get to look forward to that. Carrick said he'd represent me should I need to testify, which I obviously will, but I really don't want to."

Her voice softens and lowers. "Wow, I didn't know that. I'm so sorry you have to go through this crap, Ana."

"Yea. It came out of nowhere. I got a call from the DA's office when I was with Dr. Fischer and then Carrick called me shortly after to offer his services which was really sweet. Christian's pissed, he was hoping that Hyde would plead guilty because of all the evidence and that we could just forget about it and move on but that seems unlikely at this point."

"He must have gone nuclear."

"I wasn't there when he found out but according to Carrick he lost it. We haven't really talked about it, what's there to say at this point?"

"You're right. Push that shit out of your head, deal with it in April when it comes up and then bury it for good. He's in prison and can't get to you, take comfort in that and focus on that. Call me tonight if you need to but we'll talk and drink and dance that stress right out of your system on Friday."

Ah, yes. Friday. I can't wait to see what stalker measures Christian puts in place for that night.

"I'm glad to see your appetite is back. In all things." Christian Grey winking is adorable.

"Speaking of all things, I got my period this morning after the pregnancy rumors. Pretty ironic if you ask me." I knew I wasn't pregnant but I was still relieved to have started my cycle, albeit four days late. I expected Christian to be upset by this news, after all, that meant no sex for a few days but he smiles and clinks our wine glasses.

"To not being pregnant."

"Huh. I thought for sure you'd be pissed to have to stop sex for a few days." He looks puzzled and chews thoughtfully before speaking.

"Why? Why would we stop?"

"Umm, because I have my period. And I'm not doing it while I do." He sips his wine and smirks.

"Doesn't bother me at all." Is he freaking serious?

"Well it bothers me so forget about it." He looks pissed but I don't care. He can go scratch on that one for all I care.

"Well does your mouth still work?" He says it with a laugh and I know he's kidding but it rubs me the wrong way.

"Not after the other night, no." His fork stops mid-air, a twirl of pasta hanging from it.

"You're not over it yet are you?" I bite back a laugh. He is so used to getting his way and so used to not having to carry problems longer than he says is appropriate that he is clueless as to real life emotions.

"Christian, surely you can understand why. You did that because a guy in our building looked at me. Something I have no control over and no way to stop. But it pissed you off so much that you took it out on me and don't even say you didn't because you did the same thing when that guy took pictures at the Pilates studio."

"Ana, I didn't ask you to do that because of that douchebag in the elevator."

"No? Then why was it him you were berating me about before you told me to get on my knees?" He blushes and looks down at his plate before bringing burning, intense eyes up to mine.

"A punishment? That's what you think that was?"

"Sure felt like it. Both times." He places his fork back on the table, sips his wine and leans back.

"I've never given you a punishment for anything, I wouldn't do that to you. I claimed you both of those times. Made you mine again." I snort at the absurdity of his statement.

"Made me yours again? When did I ever stop being yours?"

"When another man eye fucked you right in front of me. You know how that makes me feel."

"Claiming? I can get on board with that so long as you're not mean. But 'making me yours again'? Cut the crap and call it what it is. Marking your territory." His shrug is not exactly the response I'm going for but it's the best he'll give me right now.

"Fine. Marking my territory. Did you not enjoy it?"

"Well, it would have been less murky if you had just pissed on me or something. At least then I'd know what it was you were doing." His laugh is loud in the small restaurant but it's contagious. It feels good to laugh with him, to watch his eyes crinkle at the corners and see his shoulders shake.

"You're too much, Ana. But you didn't answer the question." He sips his wine with a chuckle, shaking his head and muttering 'pissed on her' before he takes another swig.

"I did and I didn't and I'm leaving it at that because I haven't worked it all out yet." Now it's his turn to roll his eyes. "Did you just roll your eyes at me? Because if you did, I have a set of silver balls and a twitchy palm that can help you control that." He laughs and grabs my hand across the table.

"And where would you put those silver balls?"

"The same place I'm going to shove my foot up if you ever try to punish me with a blowjob again." His shoulders begin to shake again with laughter, stopping just in time to order a chocolate cake from the obviously smitten waitress.

"Why are you getting that?"

"It's chocolate. I thought that's what all women wanted when they were on the rag. My mom and Mia would fight over M&M's once a month until my dad started getting the bags from Costco." Now it's my turn to laugh. I love to hear about the normal times of his life. "Plus, I need to talk to you about something and it's very upsetting and for once it has nothing to do with me but it does involve you." My heart sinks and my fingertips go numb.

"Go on." I whisper and he takes a deep breath, sitting back when the cake is placed in front of me.

"I know where the diamond earrings I bought you are." Oh god please don't say it. "Your mom took them, Ana." He grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I'm so sorry, baby." I just stare at him. I knew. I'm not an idiot but I admit to holding onto that tiny hope that she wouldn't go that low.

"That's not the worst part though." I brace myself but nothing could prepare me for what he says next. "She is having an affair like you suspected, we have footage of her and her boyfriend. He's the man who's trying to sell the earrings right now."

"OK, just say it."

"From what we can gather, your mom has been having an affair with Stephen Morton for two years now. He's the one who funded her trip up here and he's the one she flew home to. She's been holed up in a hotel room outside of Atlanta since Monday with him." Heat shoots throughout my body, heating my limbs and making me feel dizzy.

"Stephen? Morton? She…she…she went back to him, after everything he did?" My belly begins to roil but I breathe deeply like Dr. Fischer taught me and close my eyes to count backwards from 20. In the distance I hear Christian speaking but he sounds like he's underwater.

"Wait. How did you find all of this out?"

"Hear me out before you get pissed okay?" That's not a good start. After a fortifying breath he puts both hands on the table and folds them on top of each other, staring at me to ensure that I'm listening and not about to have a panic attack.

"When I…found out about Morton and what he did to you I was so bent that I had Welch find him. He's on parole for, of all things, beating his last girlfriend, so I took the opportunity to have him followed so that the second he fucks up, we can have his ass thrown back in jail."

"Why?"

"Because he never paid for what he did to you and this is the only way to make that happen without killing the dick myself. And trust me, I've thought about doing just that." He wants justice, for me. I have a million questions but I don't trust my voice right now not to break. His own voice is devoid of emotion. Right now, I'm looking at CEO Christian. In charge with direction, a purpose and laser like focus. This is as important to him as a million dollar deal. His intensity somehow softens the blow.

"He hasn't done anything up until this point and believe me, we've been watching. It's unfortunate that your mom is involved." He looks down and shakes his head slowly. "That's not a twist I saw coming. I wanted to take you out one day and tell you that he was in prison and that I put him there for you. I wanted to hand you his head on a platter in the form of an orange jumpsuit and shackles." My heart constricts with love.

"When? When did you start all of this?"

"As soon as I learned about what he did to you through your records. That same day I put Welch and Taylor on it."

"Before we ever even slept together? You did that for me?" My heart is going to burst with love for this man. This is what it feels like to be taken care of. He shrugs as if it's no big deal that he sought justice for me without any real reward.

"Yes. You were always special to me, Anastasia. Bedding you wasn't even on my mind as a motivation for nailing him to the wall. You deserve that much and knowing he hurt you and got away with it, no fucking way. Which leads me to the real dilemma here."

"He's been shopping the earrings around, they're worth a lot and he knows it so he's taking his time finding the highest bidder which has bought us a bit of time." He takes a deep breath and steeples his fingers. "Once he sells we'll arrest him for possessing stolen goods and also for selling them. We've got him, and your mom, on video and audio confirming that he knows they're stolen." The wheels in my head slowly start to move again.

"And if you have him arrested, then they'll come after my mother too." He presses his lips together and nods once, pulling at the knot in his tie as he does.

"There's no real way around it. I'm willing to ignore the earrings and wait for him to fuck up somewhere else but in light of all of the other…things we've discussed recently, I felt it was important that you knew this was going on and that you had a choice in the outcome."

I get to choose? Oh my god, do I want to? Can I be responsible for my own mother getting arrested? And then Bob will surely find out about the affair, can I hurt him like that?

"I don't know what I want." His head nods solemnly, copper hair hanging over his forehead. I know he's itching to pull it but he sits still.

"You'll need to figure it out soon. I'm sorry, I know I'm springing this on you but we'll need to jump as soon as the money exchanges hands and I've already put this conversation off long enough."

She went back to him after all he did. And she stole from me!

"Arrest her too. I'm finished with her and I'm finished being the bigger person every time someone wrongs me." His brows shoot up in surprise. It's a rash decision but I'm making it. Decisions.

"Are you sure? Once this ball starts rolling, we can't stop it." Years of impotent rage rises up and finds a home in my heart. She let him hit me. Over and over and over and then she chose him over me. When she left him, she told me it was because of what he did but just this last visit she made excuses for him again and now I know why. She chose him, again. And now, she was going to give him money, Christian's money no less! Her visit was to get all she could, just like she instructed me to do. It had nothing to do with seeing me. I knew it, I did. But I chose to pretend. Not anymore though.

"I'm sure." One nod, that's all he gives me before lifting a forkful of cake to my lips.

"You got it, baby. Now eat this before I do. We've got one hell of a conference call in an hour and I'll need you at the top of your game."

CPOV

The walk back to the office is surreal. There are photographers all along the route but between Sawyer and Taylor they don't get much to work with. Ana is in some sort of trance after the news about her mother. I probably should have waited until after we spoke with the Chinese but Morton's got two more pawn shops and then he'll have exhausted all of his options so we need to know what she wants to do.

In the elevator I can't resist kissing her but she's distant and withdrawn so I leave it to a simple peck and then walk her to her office, sitting in one of the chairs until I feel like she's okay.

"I can't believe you did this for me." She shakes her head slowly, brown curls sweeping from side to side. "And at the same time, it's so very like you." Is that good or bad? Is she pissed? Technically this wasn't an invasion of her privacy so… "Thank you. For trying to right a wrong that was done to me." For the first time in days her eyes are clear and bright. A ragged breath of relief escapes from my mouth. We may just weather this after all.

"I told you, Ana. Nobody fucks with you. Not yesterday, today or tomorrow. If they do, they deal with me. Now get ready, I'm looking forward to watching you speak in another language for the afternoon. You know what that does to me."

She opens her mouth twice as if to say something but shuts it each time until I stand to go and hold her face.

"Is there something else?" She shakes her head and kisses my neck, inhaling before she pulls away.

"I'll see you in an hour."

"So, to sum up. You told your parents and then sat through a dinner that was filled with painful and embarrassing questions about your previous sex life. Then you went home where a man hit on your girlfriend in front of you pushing you over the edge from angst to fury. To reclaim the control and dominance you felt were taken from you over the course of the day you turned to BDSM style sex with a woman, who until recently, had never even had sex. You spoke down to her and had intercourse with her in the same manner as you would have with a sub. She then found out that you had basically infiltrated her personal life. All this in 24 hours?"

"Yup. It was stellar. Epic as Elliot would say." Flynn whistles through his teeth, jots down some notes and then without looking up fires back.

"I'd say." Pen down, eyes down, legs crossed. Classic Flynn.

"She took a small break, pulled herself together and now here we are. What specifically did you want to discuss?"

"The whys. You can control the behavior but ideally, I'd like you to understand it so that you can put it to rest for good. Obviously what happened on Sunday wasn't good for either of you and then coupled with the revelations she came into, it was too much for her."

"I can't ever, let that happen again."

"Do you have any more secrets that could do damage? Anything that she's specifically told you was important to her that you're unwilling to divulge?"

"No. But I have been thinking about one of her 'hard limits' as she called it. She doesn't want me to monitor her emails and frankly, I think that's stupid and dangerous. For fucks sake, I have my emails monitored. Barney did what he could to ensure only legit ones got through but even Taylor thinks my relenting on this is a bad move. I'd like to discuss it with her, since that's so important to her but I'm going to be honest. No matter what she decided, the controls go back on tomorrow."

"Then you need to give her the reasons for that and lay it out as a hard limit of yours. I find it interesting that she's opposed to the lifestyle but uses the terminology." I snort.

"She's willing to explore it a bit. Not the hard stuff but I couldn't do that with her anyway. But she did say that she was open to me coming to her for sex as a coping tool." Flynn taps his pen and looks up again, pursing his lips before speaking.

"Interesting. In our last conversation you specified that her therapist wanted you both to avoid that entirely. Why the turnabout?"

"We only talked about it briefly right before we fell asleep but I think I've got the gist of it. Basically, after working with her therapist on it she decided that she's fine with me coming to her so long as it's done openly. I think what frightened her on Sunday was the fact that even though I wasn't angry with her, my actions said otherwise."

"Ana said in so many words that ultimately only she and I can define what works for us and only she and I can define our parameters. Rough 'coping' sex as she calls it is fine with her so long as it's coupled with other coping mechanisms outside of the bedroom."

Flynn finishes his note and then looks up. "I'm impressed. She's what? 22?" I nod. "She loves you, Christian. Very very much. I think you know that but I want to make sure you accept that." I take a minute and think long and hard. Do I know it? Do I accept it? I have to. She loves me so purely that it's forced inside of me and seeps to the darkest corners of my heart. She knows me and yet she loves me.

"I do."

"Well, then we've focused on one of those notes from her without even knowing it. You are loved. You now accept it, my work here is done, I'll see you in a week." His hand shake is one of a friend today, not of a doctor and I accept it with pride. I finally feel like I've made progress.

"Hey, what are you doing home? Don't you have class?" Ana is waiting for me in the great room, dressed to kill in tiny black boy shorts and a black tank top.

"I got someone to cover it for me and I told Eyal I'd meet up with him tomorrow morning after my appointment with Dr. Fischer." It's then that I notice she's nervous and twisting her hands together in front of her. Slowly I put my briefcase down and walk to her, pulling her against me so tightly that my suit jacket covers her.

"What's wrong, baby?" She sits in a heap on the white couch and looks down.

"Me. I'm wrong. I demanded openness and honesty from you but I didn't offer you the same." My heart begins to pound as a million things run through my head. Did she cheat on me? Did she lie to me? The terror is so great that I say nothing and kneel in front of her so that I can see her face.

"Ana?"

"On Monday, right before I had my…episode," she snorts and waves her hand in the air, "I met with someone who presented herself as a friend. But when I saw her, I didn't know her right away but then…then I recognized her."

"Did she harm you? Who was it?"

"Her name is Lillian Parker." Holy mother of Christ. "Do you remember her?" Holy holy holy shit. No wonder she had a breakdown.

"Yes. She was a submissive of mine. I haven't seen or heard from her in years." Sawyer-fired. Fitch-fired. Lillian-flayed. In my head directives are firing at a million miles an hour but my focus remains on this woman in front of me and I remain as calm as I can. "What did she want?"

"Did you know that your ex-submissives have a club?" Elena.

"Yes." Her eyes widen and she bites her lip in surprise.

"You did?"

"Elena told me when we had our last argument." Her head cocks to the side.

"Elena knows them? All of them?"

"Yes."

"Is she a part of it? Of this 'SubClub' as they call themselves?" I'm shocked at how calm she is right now but I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.

"I don't think so. I only know the name and that they exist. I hadn't given it much thought to be honest with you." The silence is killing me, I want to get as much information out of her as I can and then get to work on this shit but she's my girlfriend and this is not a business deal. Patience. Not my strongest attribute.

"What did she want, Ana?" I take her hand in mine and she rolls her eyes and snorts again.

"Lunch. She wanted to meet for lunch. She handed me this and this," she offers me two pieces of paper that she'd set on the coffee table, "and she wanted to go out for lunch. Lunch!" What the fuck is going on?

The papers are actually business cards, one has the name of what appears to be their website along with a password: number16cgas. The other is a bit more cryptic but at second glace it's instructions on how to access this website. Number 16. My stomach drops.

"I know I'm not a number, Christian." I stand and lift her up and then sit back down with her on my lap.

"No, you are certainly not a number, Anastasia. You are the number." She smiles and plays with my tie, running her fingers over the smooth silver satin.

"She seemed nice."

"Lillian was nice when I knew her."

"She didn't seem damaged or angry at you." What?

"Why would she be?" She takes a deep breath and blows it out against my chest.

"I don't know." We sit in an easy silence, both lost in our own thoughts. I'm desperate to get this information to Welch but I can't rush this right now.

"Ana, Lillian and I had an arrangement that worked for both of us. It ended amicably after five months and we went our separate ways. I've not seen nor heard from her since. Is this why you asked if you could meet with one of my ex-subs?"

"Yes." And then it all falls into place. Monday. Her falling apart because of my secrets and then her demanding my openness last night. Two days of her not saying a word.

"She approached you on Monday and you're just now telling me? After all that bullshit about being open and not keeping secrets from each other?" My entire body is tense beneath hers.

"That was only part of the problem, Christian. I was overwhelmed because you invaded my life in areas that you had no right to do so and then kept it from me." I can't argue with her on that one and I'm smart enough not to. No sense rehashing that shit.

"But you knew about this and said nothing. That is bull fucking shit, Ana. Bull shit!" She doesn't protest when I stand her up or when I start pacing and pulling at my hair. This…communication shit is so beyond me that I have no idea how to convey just how pissed I am so I don't even try.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but I knew you'd freak out and frankly, I couldn't deal with another bit of drama."

"And? Don't tell me that's the only reason you kept quiet because I won't believe you." Anger flashes in her eyes before she blinks it away and settles herself down.

"And I'm tired of feeling like I'm an open book to you and tired of feeling exposed and tired of feeling like my life isn't my own anymore!"

"It's not! It's mine now too same as mine is yours. You were being spiteful." She drops her head and nods once. "Well I have no time and no patience for games, Ana. We've never, not one time played with each other's heads and I don't want to start now. For fucks sake we're talking about forever here." A single tear falls from her eye. I can't bear to see her cry anymore, it's time to build up, not breakdown.

"Ana, I need to get in my office and figure this shit out with Welch and Taylor. We'll talk more later but right now," I take two strides to her and cup her face, lifting it and kissing her lips, "just know that I love you and from this point on, no secrets, no invasions. We're in this together."

"Fucking hell, Mr. Grey. Why didn't you mention this before?" My hands run over my head in frustration, hiding my face from Welch and Taylor.

"I didn't really think about it. I should have, looking back, I was so caught up with other shit that I just didn't see it as anything important."

"Well, the website itself is extremely well hidden and very well protected but surprisingly it's not well constructed. It'll take some time for me to go through each page but I expect that I can get you a report in 24 hours."

"Log me in, I want to see this shit for myself." I swear to Christ, I will take each one of those women down myself if there are things that are incriminating or identifying. Welch pulls the card in front of him and walks me through the instructions.

"Go to amnh dot org, search for 'human body exhibit'." I do as he says, my fingers tingling on the keys. "Now click on 'skeletal muscular exhibit'." He pauses and continues when I nod my head. "Now click on the third picture down, but click in the lower right hand corner. Once that pulls up, click on the area right over his penis."

"I got a 503 error code."

"Good, now click on the second r in error and the site will load."

"Holy shit." I say when the page reloads to a pink background, a picture of a black lacquer paddle with the words, 'please enter password' written across it in white. I don't need Welch to tell me what it is, I'll never forget seeing number16cgas for as long as I live. A tangible visual to what I had wanted from her at first. Asshole.

I enter the password and hold my breath when the next screen loads. The icons are self-explanatory. There's one of a hand, representing spankings and the lighter side of BDSM. Another of a cane, representing the harsher side. Then there are more benign ones, a dress, a fork and spoon, a music note, a book. I click on the cane first and close my eyes when I see a list of documents pull up.

-flogger
-paddle
-whip
-cane
-sensory deprivation

"I'll look through the website. Have Barney disable it when I tell him to. I want it shut down, destroyed, and I don't want it traced back. This needs to get buried, and deep. Taylor, I want the whereabouts of every one of the 15." He walks to me and lays a folder on my desk.

"I updated it when Ms. Lincoln snuck those pictures to Ms. Steele. I didn't think she was finished, I'm sorry I was right."

"Welch, I'll touch base tomorrow. Taylor, send Sawyer and Fitch in now." He nods once and turns on his heel to bring in the condemned. Both walk in with their heads held high, passing Welch without so much as a nod on his way out.

"You have one job to do. One. Keep Anastasia Steele safe. What if that woman had been there to harm her? Who met with her first? Who was on Ms. Steele when she went into the hallway? Alone?"

Fitch steps forward and puffs out his chest, clasping his hands behind his back. "I was in the hallway when Ms. Parker came to the door. She had no weapons on her, I patted her down before alerting Ms. Kavanagh that a friend of Ms. Steele's was outside the apartment. She looked through the peephole and shrugged and then told Ms. Steele who came out of the room. After a brief conversation with Sawyer I opened the door and kept my eye on the interaction from the living room until she shut the door at which point I exited the apartment and asked her to come back inside."

"And where the fuck were you?" Sawyer takes the same stance as Fitch.

"Ms. Steele was concerned about the movers in her room and asked that I monitor the activities there. I told Fitch to keep her inside and to only allow her to speak to her friend inside the apartment. When I came out of the bedroom I saw Fitch in the open doorway just as Ms. Steele came in and ran to the bathroom."

Monitoring the movers? So she knew Sawyer wouldn't have given her the privacy and she got rid of him. I'm pissed and impressed. My eyes settle on Fitch.

"You're fired. Get your shit and get the fuck out." He turns, nods once at Sawyer and then shuts the door behind him with a bang. Fuck him. "You're only still standing here because you have literally put your life on the line for that woman. Make no mistake though, if that shit ever happens again, you are gone."

"Sir." He leaves and Taylor stands in his place awaiting instructions. I hear the murmurs of a conversation outside the door and then see Sawyers hand as he holds the door open for Ana, holding two plates and a contrite smile. I want to stay angry with her. I just can't.

"Hi. I thought you might be hungry, it's close to nine."

"Have you eaten yet?" I don't mean to bark but I do anyway. Her not eating, especially if she's anemic is not okay with me.

"No, I wanted to have dinner with you." She looks at Taylor. "Gail said she's got a plate for you in the oven." Subtle.

"We're good for tonight, Taylor. I'll have more in the morning." Ana lowers the plate of rib-eye and vegetables in front of me and then sits in one of the chairs on the opposite side of my desk. God DAMN those shorts are going to kill me.

"Did you fire Fitch?" I take a bite of broccoli to avoid talking about it and just nod. "He tried, Christian. I didn't make it easy on him."

"His job is to ensure that you are never in danger. He didn't do his job and after what happened before, there is no room, none, for error. His employment isn't up for discussion."

"Alright, geesh. Sorry." We eat in silence for a few minutes, both of us doing our best to navigate the huge bomb in the middle of us. "Did you get onto the website?"

"Yes." Shit, lean forward just a few inches more. I love that tank on her.

"And?" Right. Not a chance I'm going into the nitty gritty.

"It's broken down into things I like from books to food to sex. From the little I've seen of it, all 14 have participated in it but I've yet to see my name or a picture." Small comfort. She nods thoughtfully and takes another bite.

"Are you still okay with me meeting with her?" Is she out of her damn mind? "I mean, in the bath last night you were fine with it."

"What the fuck would be your reason for talking to her? Ana, she approached you at your fucking apartment. Crazy much?" I expect to get resistance from her but she surprises me yet again and says nothing, just sips on her iced tea and finishes her dinner before leaning back and folding her hands in her lap.

"What's the latest with Elena? Last time we spoke, you were trying to nail her and send her to prison." She snickers and rolls her neck. "Seems to be your latest MO. I like it." Her smile seems genuine so I go with it. I'm waiting for the emotional fallout of her bitch mother's latest betrayal but my girl, at this moment in time, is held together with super glue.

"The latest with Elena. Well," my hands clasp behind my head and I think. "I won't say we've backed off but between my focus on Hyde, Morton and Agnes Perkins, she's gotten pushed off the priority list. I've still got someone working on finding out who that kid is in the picture and I've got someone watching her home and office 24/7 but for once in her life she's listened to me and kept the fuck away."

"And how, exactly, are you trying to get her up on charges?"

"Anyway I can to be honest. I've got people looking into her finances and others trying to nail her associates for helping her hide money. If we can get to them, then we can get to her."

"She's not been quiet, Christian. This whole 'SubClub' crap, the way Lillian approached me, I'd bet a million dollars Elena set that whole thing up." Now she's got my attention. If Elena is going after Ana again, I will kill her. Rip her limb from limb and watch her bleed out.

"Hear me out before you say anything, ok?" I nod and sit up straight. "The way Lillian approached me, she was almost apologetic. Not because she was talking to me but because she had taken so long to do so. It felt, in hindsight, that she was afraid I'd be mad at her, like I had been waiting to speak with her. And the way she handed me the cards, she expected me to know what it was I was looking at." I could kill Fitch for not having been there.

"Then, the things she said, they seemed strange at the time but if I take the comments and apply them to the suspicion that someone told her I was a sub and told her I was waiting to hear from her, well, then it makes perfect sense."

"What did she say exactly?" The newly familiar pounding of fear begins in my heart. If she said something that makes Ana want to leave…

"Well, she apologized for taking so long and mentioned that the 'normal routes' were unavailable. Then, she said something about your type and then mentioned how all the girls were shocked that you'd been photographed with me. Then, she went on about how they were there to help me and how that would ultimately help you and how that was part of 'our' job."

I consider calling Fitch in just to beat the shit out of him.

"But Lillian herself was so normal and so…non-confrontational that I can't help but think that she saw me as an equal. It felt almost as if someone had told her I was a sub and then encouraged her to reach out to me. Now, I'm no detective but I know a set up when I see one and I think she and I were set up." Shit. It all makes sense.

This is why Elena has been so quiet. Elliot said that my mother never called her, just didn't show up for lunch on Sunday and then cancelled her appointment at the salon without an explanation. Subconsciously I've been waiting for her to strike but I was waiting for something big. But she's smart, I'll give her that. She struck at the only part of me that's vulnerable. Anastasia.

"You're right. It does sound like you were set up. Again." Her sweet little body stands and stretches before me, tight in all the right places and soft in the others. With purposeful slowness she rounds my desk and sits on my lap, curling into a ball and lazily draws circles with her nails on the flesh of my neck. My cock is poking her in the back of her thighs but she ignores it and sighs instead.

"I want to help take her down, Christian. I'm so tired of being nice and letting her get away with crap. I'd like to meet with Lillian, let her think I'm a sub so I can get some information out of her. Who knows, maybe nothing will come out of it but I want to try it, just to see if there's something there, something you're overlooking." When I say nothing she continues.

"You're trying to get her from the outside. I'm saying that maybe we could try to get her from the inside using Lillian."

My instinct is to tell her no but those little scratching circles are killing my resolve. Damn she knows what she's doing. When her head rests on my collarbone so that I can feel her breath on my jaw I just about toss her on the desk to fuck her but I can't, she's got her freaking period and she's all uptight about it.

"Ana…I don't know if…shit…you should meet with her…I mean…will it just piss you off and make you question me…holy Christ you've got to stop." She giggles and wriggles against my hard on which is pitching a painful tent in my black suit pants.

"Christian, look at it this way. It kills two birds with one stone. Three if we can get any information from her. I get a face to face confirmation that what you did with these women didn't damage them, I get information on Elena nastywhorebitch Lincoln that you can hopefully use to take her down, and I get the satisfaction of being a part of it. I want to do this, please."

When she feathers my jaw with her lips I grab myself in desperation and then force her hand to do the same. "Ana, period or not, we're fucking tonight." She just shakes her head under my neck and unzips me, sliding her warm hands into my pants to circle me. "Fuuuuuuck." My head falls back against the chair.

"I'll be careful." When she licks my earlobe and nips it, I don't stand a chance.

"You'll bring Sawyer…and Taylor…shit…and you'll meet in a public place that I will choose…oh god, Ana…and you'll tell me everything that is said…and fuck, I don't give a shit what happens right now."

She squeals when I stand and take her with me and nibbles my ears and jaw all the way to the bedroom. I need to put her down to get to what I want but damn it just feels too good.

"I love you, Christian." She murmurs in my ear and my painfully throbbing cock is forgotten in an instant. Such tiny words but they literally stop my world.

"I love you too, baby." There's something in her eyes that gives me pause, something that I can't quite put my finger on. Without a word she shimmies down and unbuckles my belt, tugging the pants and boxers down in one smooth motion. Hesitation. My cheeks burn when I remember how rough I was the last time she did this for me. My hand grabs her chin and brings her face to mine.

"Never again, Ana." I groan as her hands stroke up and down, her body perched alongside mine on top of the duvet. She smiles and the look disappears. The hesitation is replaced with trust and damn if that isn't the biggest turn on in the world.

As she strokes she watches while I come apart under her hands, grinning as my chest heaves, biting her lip when I start to tremble. In the end she surprises me by taking me in her mouth, the warm wet sensation so unexpected that I shoot off, hips elevating off of the bed, thighs shaking and tense. "Holy fuck!" My hands tangle in her hair, my head burrows into the mattress until my body comes back to earth and falls lifeless to the bed, sated and filled with contentment.

When I reach for her she smiles and wipes the corner of her mouth, laying down to rest her head on my shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" I'm still breathless.

"Because you use sex to reconnect and I guess in some ways so do I. For whatever reason, whenever we argue, even if we reach a resolution, you need to confirm it with sex and since I can't do that tonight, I wanted to reassure you this way." Her eyes look at mine through her lashes and she smiles.

"But what about you? What do you need?"

Her hand reaches for mine and pulls it to her heart and then she rests that small, dainty little hand over my own heart and I feel it, fucking feel it stitch itself back together with each beat.

With a sigh of gratification she answers. "Just this."