I am very sorry for taking so long. The truth is, when I finished my blackout (which was terrible and I gave up on halfway through) I found myself in a dip. I haven't been able to write on this story very well.
I ended up doing a HP one shot (22K words! Woot!) And that kinda just made my writers block worse. I have all the way up to chapter 22 completed, but I'm gonna start updating once every two weeks to give me some time to keep up, so that I don't have to leave you guys waiting like this.
Thank you all for being patient, and I hope that this chapter satisfies. Thanks again for all your support and the wonderful reviews. On top of that, I want you all to know that I won't give up on this story. It's entirely mapped out and I've put way to much effort into it. I'm invested in it and I won't let you guys down. Thanks again.
As always, I don't own Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji. Please excuse any and all errors, as I have yet to find a beta,
Ta,
Majix.
Within the darkness, his hatred grew.
It began behind bars, as the child lay trapped with nothing but the raw company of his memories. The heated smoke made his eyes burn as the bluenette stumbled through the halls of the manor, desperately seeking his parent's bedroom. Tendrils of fire licked up the walls, the blaze purring in response as it fed a ceaseless hunger.
With each passing second, the inky darkness spread like disease, infecting all that it could, driving the boy deeper into his own nightmares. The sight of his parent's broken bodies stark within the shadows of the fire. His lungs burned as he dashed from the bedroom, stumbling through the suddenly unfamiliar walls. Panic threatened to choke the young boy as he tried to remember how to escape the raging inferno.
Sharp thorns of terror embedded themselves within his heart as a gloved hand reached out from the shadows and gripped the back of his neck, driving Ciel to the ground.
That's when the true nightmare began, the introduction of the cage. Soot stained his milky white flesh as he sat trembling behind unyeilding metal, the heat of shame encompassing the young Phantomhive as his captors snickered over his naked body.
With their abuse came not only the death of his innocence but the birth of his hate. It coiled hot in his belly and Ciel fed it his anger, nurturing the depth of his pain.
With the boy's love, his resentment and the power of his hatred continued to brew in the pit of his heart like a poison.
Days turned into weeks and time became measured only by the growth of festering emotion.
The last strings of faith snapped with the permanent reminder branded in his flesh. An already feeble dam broke and hate consumed the boy to his core, becoming more needed than food, water or even the air he breathed.
Hate was his companion, the savior of his sanity and not even death could take that from him.
Ciel's thoughts had lingered on the progression of his downward spiral since the night of his fourteenth birthday. He thought back to the moment Aunt Francis claimed him as her son to the servants and he felt the claws of reality claim his heart.
He would never be her son, just as he would never marry Elizabeth. She would not carry his child. He'd stared down at the faintly chipped sapphire and thought over and over of how he would never present it to his oldest son.
He blamed his parent's murderers, the ones responsible for destroying his life down to the very foundation. They caused The Rift, permanently separating the black from the white and the thought of stealing vengeance from them nurtured the poisonous plant rooted in his heart.
But when his eyes met Sebastian's he remembered the taste of freedom; moments of still peace that only the demon could bring.
It was impossible to deny, even within his own mind, that there was something about the man that intrigued him. Something foreign and full of knowledge. Despite the nature of his abruptly ending future, Ciel was not unhappy about meeting Sebastian.
As days turned to weeks, Ciel continued to weigh out the pros and cons of his life. It began with the decision, no matter how accidental, to summon Sebastian and continued on through each order given; every lesson learned.
Each sin was weighed with the utmost care, and every deed was picked apart thought by thought.
The Earl continued to perform his duties, signing countless contracts and meeting with potential business partners but when not actively speaking his face remained vacant.
Sapphire eyes didn't seem to notice how Sebastian's gaze lingered on his master in obvious concern. The demon had silently hoped that the Queen's letter would bring the faint spark of defiance back into those eyes but it proved folly. He was deep within his own mind.
Sebastian had, of course, tried to ease the truth from his Master but the boy stubbornly kept his obsessions to himself, answering only with a pointed glare when the butler insisted on asking.
Just as London had begun to calm after the violent Jack the Ripper attacks, a new threat showed itself. Aristocratic males who'd traveled to India soon found themselves bound and hanging upside down all throughout London's boundaries.
As expected, Her Majesty didn't appreciate the noble men of her territory being humiliated in such a way and she'd politely requested that Ciel put a stop to it. Despite the vacant nature of the boy as of late, his mind was still sharp as ever and he quickly agreed to her request.
The introduction of Prince Soma and his ever faithful butler Agni were the only things that seemed to pull the Earl of Phantomhive from his thoughts. Sebastian was, of course, unsurprised by that change of events.
The prince reminded the demon slightly of Elizabeth with the extent of his excitement but he lacked the maturity of the bubbly blonde, which was a surprising feat all on its own. Agni was a completely different story. He was efficient and constantly held a calm air around him. Though the blonde haired man was entirely devoted to Soma, he still acted as a caretaker of sorts and he cared for the teen, actively keeping him entertained and out of trouble.
Combined, they seemed to throw Ciel for a loop. Upon their first meeting, Ciel and Sebastian had almost been attacked by a group of Indian immigrants in a less than stellar part of town. Though unnecessary, Prince Soma and Agni had granted them safe passage after taking care of the unfortunate men who'd attacked them without reason.
Ciel had been more than a little surprised when the pair showed up at his home but he took it in stride with little complaining and he "graciously" allowed them to stay. With their company came undeniable distraction. Lessons were regarded by the Prince as mere obstacles for Ciel's attention and though the bluenette tried to send him away, Soma brushed it off with ease.
Unlike Ciel, Sebastian found their arrival quite amusing and the demon wasn't the least bit eager to see them off. Soma created small waves of wavering focus and dragged the Earl from his thoughts, even if only to snap with annoyance.
In turn, Agni was increasingly helpful. With the golden brilliance of his faith came near super human strength. It was shocking, even to the ravenette, that the Prince's butler was able to not only stand toe-to-toe with a demon in a mock fencing battle but he proved himself able to keep the servants from demolishing the manor during their daily chores.
Near constant smiles lingered on their faces and as time passed Ciel seemed to take their optimism with a grain of salt. Though quite suspicious of their late night walks from the manor, Sebastian quickly discovered that they were merely searching for a female that'd been taken from Prince Soma's palace.
When asked by the bluenette, Soma quietly explained how Mina had simply disappeared one night from his Palace. He told of their search across India before their continued journey through England; all for the woman with eyes warmer than chocolate and hair the very definition of ebony.
Sebastian caught the slight tensing of the blonde haired man's features as the other spoke of Mina but the butler gave no indication that he'd noticed. The demon assumed that Agni knew more than he let on, especially after he, along with his Master, discovered the man leaving at the darkest hours of the night to conduct his own "searches".
However, it wasn't until Ciel, Sebastian and Soma followed the butler that the demon realized the depth of Agni's knowledge concerning Mina. They'd followed the butler to West Manor, yet another noble in British society and all three were shocked to hear Mr. West's commanding tone narrate exactly what Agni was expected to do for him.
It wasn't surprising that Soma couldn't contain himself the moment Mina was mentioned by his faithful butler and once again, Sebastian had been forced to salvage the situation.
With quick wit, a smooth tongue and the unknowing help of a deer, Sebastian escaped with Prince Soma before the dark-skinned male could say to much in the presence of another British noble.
When they'd returned to the manor, nothing was said for quite some time. Like the excellent butler he was, Sebastian served tea the moment they were seated and he watched Ciel silently evaluate the Indian Prince. His gaze was deeply calculating and the demon could practically feel the grate of the teen's nerves over his "guest" barging in before he'd caught the rest of the conversation.
"How could this happen..?"
The faintly broken voice caught the attention of both servant and master, and the younger unconsciously cocked his head a notch, curiously watching from his seat.
Dull embers clung to warmth before a sudden flash left the fire within Soma's eyes raging with anger and hurt, "How could he leave me behind?!"
The prince stood abruptly with clumsy grace before swiping the fragile china from the table with an angry arc of his arm, "Why would he betray me! After.. After everything! How could he keep this from me?"
He slammed both fists down on the table before fleeing the room, ignoring the shocked anger present on the Earl's features.
"Worry not, my Lord." The demon looked to his master and for the first time in many weeks was pleased to find that Ciel's mind was completely present, "I'll make sure he comes around." Maroon eyes flashed a glowing red as a sinister smirk tugged at the butler's lips.
Metaphorical quills bristled before the Earl smoothed them down, "See that you do."
The being seemed to disappear within the very shadows as he made his way to the Prince's rooms, mentally organizing the emotional daggers he planned to bury in the foreign male's psyche.
The doors to the Prince's room were securely shut but Sebastian paid the barrier no mind, slipping into the darkened room without a sound. Like oil over glass, the ancient moved with unspeakable silence and made his way to the blanket covered teen in the middle of the bed.
The salt infused scent of tears drifted across the demon's senses and he could feel the slight vibrations within the air as the mortal trembled. His sobs were surprisingly quiet for the amount of emotion wafting from him, but as Sebastian stood over him, he felt nothing.
The demon couldn't bring himself to care that the Prince was emotionally broken, and though that thought pleased Sebastian, a faint voice of doubt reminded him that if it was Ciel, he would've already brought the bluenette a pastry and something to drink. The beast within argued that such was his duty as not only a butler, but a demon as well. He was supposed to provide anything his Master required.
But that too was inaccurate. He was supposed to protect the young master until the contents of his contract were completed. In truth that only included his safety and the follow through of the teen's orders. It didn't extend to his comfort, nor did it force Sebastian to care for the bluenette as he did.
Doubtful thoughts locked in to place and the demon forced them away, his features going flat before he grabbed the blankets cocooning the Prince and he jerked them free with an unyeilding tug. A yelp of surprise pierced the silence as the butler took a step back and watched Soma tumble off the bed.
Chocolate brown eyes glared at the elder in annoyance, "How dare you! I am -"
"Nothing."
Surprised hurt flooded the darker male's face and Sebastian easily tossed the blanket back onto the bed before looking down at the bewildered man, "You are nothing here. This is England and you will do well to remember where you are."
Soma stood, practically trembling with rage, "This coming from a servant!"
Sebastian scoffed and shook his head as if he were explaining something incredibly complex to a toddler, "I am a servant of the ancient and noble house of Phantomhive. I serve the Master who has so graciously agreed to house you, but you are nothing more than a spoiled brat."
The Prince reeled back as if he'd been struck but Sebastian continued with an amused shake of his head, "You're a long way from home. You have no power here and without the aid of your butler, you can't even care for yourself."
Maroon eyes narrowed, "A responsibility that was carelessly dumped into my Master's lap."
Anger broke with the shedding of the first tear and Soma looked to the ground, "You're right.. Mina.. and Agni have left me.. I have nobody left."
Sebastian cocked his head slightly, "Tell me, Prince Soma, when did you ever really have them?"
Confusion flickered across the other man's face and Sebastian snickered, "You are royalty in your country." The butler tilted his head, "Your servants were bound to you by the power of your parents."
The man in black leaned forward, his eyes level with Soma's, "Do you really think they stayed by your side because of anything other than money?"
Sebastian shook his head in exasperation, "You foolish child."
"No!" The Prince covered his ears in a desperate attempt to block out the elder's words as he made a straight bee line for the door, but Sebastian would have none of it. A clove clad palm pressed the wood door closed with ease and Soma looked up at him in obvious panic, taking a step back as Sebastian stalked closer, "Everything you've ever had was gifted to you by your parents, and you're either to arrogant or possibly to stupid to see the truth."
Sebastian opened his mouth to release another scalding comment before Ciel's unwavering voice cut through the momentary silence, "Enough, Sebastian."
The demon turned to look at the blue haired teen and he bowed his head respectfully, "My Lord."
Ciel looked thoughtfully down at his ring, meticulously turning the band around his thumb, "You forget that I could've easily ended up quite similar."
The bluenette glanced over to the Prince who'd sunk to his knees on the plush carpet. Blue eyes met chocolate ones in a silent conversation before he turned to Sebastian, "Leave us."
The butler nodded once, "And Lau, my Lord?"
"I almost forgot he was here." A nearly pained expression crossed the Earl's face before he sighed in annoyed defeat, "Set him up in a room, I suppose."
Sebastian bowed his head before sweeping from from the room in the gracefully dramatic way only a demon could manage. Ciel remained silent after the doors closed, his eyes following Soma as the young man plopped down on his bed.
Though it wasn't in his nature to feel kind or compassionate, Ciel felt a certain kinship with the Prince. When he met those dark niave eyes, he saw all that he could have been. Though the Earl's own father wouldn't have let him mature with such ignorance of the world around him, nor his disrespectful manor, he still could've ended up relying solely on his parents. It wasn't uncommon among nobility.
He approached the slightly older man and stood just to his left, choosing his words with care, "It's not always about money."
The Prince looked up at him with a startled expression, clearly alarmed at Ciel's sudden attempt at comfort. The bluenette wanted to squirm under the dark haired man's gaze. He wasn't comfortable with words meant to sooth; his tongue was familiar with sharp wit and scathing retorts, but Ciel very rarely used it to repair the damage that only the truth could bring.
Soma looked to the bedsheets and he gave a sad sort of smile, "Sebastian is correct."
Ciel parted his lips to try again but Soma stopped him with a hand, "About Mina."
The bluenette raised an eyebrow in question but said nothing.
"Mina was a servant at my palace."
An annoyed sigh escaped the Earl as the dark skinned male stated the obvious but Soma brushed it off with an amused laugh and a playful wave, "Patience, Ciel!"
Thoughtful eyes gazed across the room as the Prince recalled the past, "I grew to care about her very much. My parents were busy of course, so I spent much of my time with her."
He flashed a joyful smile, "We had so much fun, I love her very dearly. But it would be foolish to think that she didn't get paid for her time."
Bright eyes darkened with sadness, "But Agni.."
The older teen started to quietly sob as Ciel stood awkwardly beside him, silently waiting for Soma to continue, "Agni needed nothing from me but my love, and I did. I love him in a way that I could never love Mina."
Confusion colored Ciel's features and Soma quickly looked away, fearing the rejection of his companion.
"You mean..?"
Soma nodded, his voice soft, "He is my lover."
"But..! He's your butler!"
The Prince looked at Ciel with absolute shock before he burst out laughing. The purity of that laugh startled Ciel but he said nothing, continuing to linger within his own surprise at Soma's confession.
Finally Ciel could take no more and his eyes narrowed, "What, pray tell, is so funny?"
Soma looked up at the bluenette and let out a couple more small chuckles before he was able to speak, "Just that you're more shocked about the fact that he's my butler than you are over him being a man."
Perfectly white teeth snapped shut at the Prince's comment but he said nothing. Within the realm of the Underworld, Ciel encountered secret homosexual couplings quite often. It wasn't broadcasted in "polite" company, as it was illegal, but it was present none the less. Many times the Earl stumbled upon rich nobles that couldn't bare the shame of their sexuality but continued to seek out young men easily lured by the promise of gleaming coins.
Though stiff and proper, the Earl didn't consider same-sex affairs to be disgusting as many men of his era did. Considering what the teen had bared witness to within captivity, something as small as gender meant little to him on the larger scale. He himself had been subjected to the darker hearts of men, the lust for blood and the desire to hurt others. Despite the fact that it remained illegal in Britian, Ciel couldn't bring himself to think badly of homosexuals.
However, the thought of a Prince taking a mere servant to his bed shocked the Earl whole heartedly. It was improper on so many levels that the teen could only sit in startled bewilderment at the thought of it.
What if it was Sebastian?
The faint thought sent the teen reeling and he took a step back as a new wave of thoughts flooded his conscious, his eyes glazed with panic as he turned to the door, eager to escape and sort through the sudden influx of thoughts and doubts.
Soma stood and grabbed Ciel's arm in a flurry of rushed movement, "Wait!"
The blue haired teen looked back at him, his indifference momentarily settled as he tried to remain in control but he didn't dare to speak, almost fearful that the sudden ideas filling his cortex would spill from his lips.
"I.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend!"
A whisper of confusion echoed through the Earl before he realized that he'd eagerly tried to leave after Soma had confessed to being involved with a man. The logical side of Ciel's brain recognized the other man interpreting his abrupt departure as a result of the Prince's secret.
Ciel let a fair amount of warmth seep through his body language before he opened his mouth to address the worried man, "Your preference doesn't offend me, Soma."
Despite the bluenette's desire to say more he couldn't find the words. He gazed into the Prince's face and the fingers gripping his arm disappeared. Ciel nodded greatfully before making his escape, fleeing to the inner sanctum of his bedroom where he immediately started to pace.
Himself and Sebastian? It was unthinkable. Not only was Sebastian a man, but he was the Earl's butler and on top of it all, he was a demon. A demon that was contracted to devour his soul.
The thought sent a small shiver down the bluenette's spine but despite the absurd nature of it all, he couldn't stop the flood of thoughts surrounding Sebastian, his demon. There was no denying that he was attractive, Ciel could admit that. He'd be blind not to see how beautiful the ancient was, but beneath that, he knew there was more.
Ciel didn't find his touch repulsive.
Even the fleeting touches from Elizabeth made his skin crawl with distaste but the demon had no such problems. When he'd first noticed it, Ciel chalked it off as the fact that the flawless butler was always wearing gloves, but on the rare occasions when their bare skin made contact, Ciel didn't flinch away from it.
Sebastian knew everything there was to know about the Earl, from the strict way he took his tea all the way to the deepest and darkest corners of the teen's soul. It unnerved him that a single being could know so much about him but at the same time, the knowledge acted as a balm for his pain.
There was, at least, one single person that knew of his life and the reasons behind his choices. Sebastian didn't judge him for them, he merely stood by and accepted them without question.
There was a calm about Sebastian that no mortal could ever possess. It radiated security and undeniable safety. He walked with the pride of his race and the knowledge that almost nothing within the human realm could truly harm him.
But as a lover?
Could Ciel imagine something as strange as Sebastian being his lover?
A soft knock startled the teen from his thoughts and a faint blush colored his cheeks as he considered who was undoubtedly on the other side, "Come in."
Sebastian slipped quietly inside the Earl's bedroom, closing the door without a sound, "Pardon my intrusion, my Lord. I heard you pacing and I thought, perhaps, you were waiting for me to prepare you for bed."
Relief flooded the bluenette's system at the given excuse and he straightened his posture, flexing his arrogant pride, "Of course I've been waiting for you, Sebastian." He plopped onto the bed and the butler dipped his head before kneeling in front of the Earl, carefully sliding his shoes off.
Ciel silently watched the elder in a way he never had before, his eyes glassy with thought as nimble fingers quickly unhooked the leather garters holding his socks up. Even with the gloves, Sebastian's fingers felt hot against his flesh and the young Phantomhive almost sighed as his butler stood and began untying his caravatt. The soft material was easily tugged from his throat before practiced hands set to work on the numerous buttons on the Earl's attire.
As Sebastian worked, the bluenette got a sudden mental image of those skilled fingers gliding across his bare flesh. The thought alone startled the teen but as Sebastian continued, he couldn't help imagining soft lips pressing kisses to his throat as the other possessed his body.
He immediately shoved it away but the damage had been done, the bluenette couldn't take back the thought and it seemed unwilling to leave him.
Ciel was unusually relieved when Sebastian finished dressing him for bed and he sent the demon away with little more than a quickly uttered goodnight.
However, try as he may, peaceful sleep continuously evaded the Earl and the more he tried to sink into unconsciousness, the more he thought of Sebastian. He couldn't stop thinking of the other man, as well as Prince Soma's words. As time passed, his night clothes began to feel suffocating and Ciel constantly found himself ensnared within the smothering embrace of heated sheets.
Minutes ticked by, slowly turning to hours and within the darkest hours of the night, Ciel Phantomhive finally slipped into the darkness of slumber, unconsciously aided by the thought of his butler's soothing voice and seemingly endless pools of maroon.