Chapter 5...

"Who would've thought that Merle had a daughter..."

"I'm surprised a woman would even want to be with that pig..."

"Who would've thought Daryl had emotions..."

"Would explain his lack of emotion; he was dealing with the loss of his niece..."

"She looks more like Daryl than Merle."

"Do you blame her?"

"Did you notice her accent?"

"She's from Ireland. Merle was military and stationed in Dublin when he met her Mom."

"Come on guys, I know you have a million question but she just lost a friend yesterday and then learns about her father. Give the girl a break."

"Sorry Lori..."

"Sorry..."

I could hear voices talking but they sounded so far away.

Later that evening…

I awoke with a start, sitting up and throwing the blankets off. I stood up, fighting the dizziness and headed down downstairs. I followed the voices that were in the dining room. I stood in the doorway as everyone went quiet. My eyes going to each and every face.

"So I'm not dreaming…" I whisper fighting back the tears that started to well up in my eyes.

Rick stood up and walked over to me, placing his hand on my lower back; he steered me farther into the room, "Come meet some people, Bella." He said gently with a smile.

I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and gave the room a small smile. With a deep breath I greeted everyone, "Hello I'm Isabella, but you can call me Bella."

"This is Andrea and Carol. Dale is up on the RV keeping watch." He said introducing me to a tall blonde and a small lady with short hair. Both ladies smiled.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude but where is he?" I asked looking at Rick.

He nodded and gave me a small knowing smile, "On the porch."

"Thank you." I whispered, "Please excuse me." I said to the people at the table, before I turned and headed out onto the porch, finding my Uncle smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" I ask sitting down right next to him. He handed me a cigarette and his lighter.

I lit my cigarette and took a long drag as I handed back his lighter. We sat in silence as we listened to those in the house. I leaned my head on his shoulder, tears streaming down my face as I informed that Anna was dead. I felt him lean his head on mine.

"I'm sorry Itsy." He whispered flipping his cigarette away.

"I tried so hard to save her." I whispered wiping away the tears, "After Mike died, I felt I needed to take care of her. Protect her. She may have been older, but she was so childlike in some ways." I took a deep breath, "I feel like I failed both my mom and Mike."

Daryl moved so he was looking straight at me, "Don't ever think that, girl!" he said sternly, "You kept her alive when we couldn't and for that I think your Mama and Mike would be proud of you."

"Thank you Uncle." I said smiling a little bit, "I needed to hear that."

"Now get your ass up, we're going squirrel hunting in the morning and you need to get some practice in." He said handing me my hunting bag.

"o my god! You found it!" I squealed reaching in and finding my collapsible bow and quiver of arrows, along with my glove and skinning knife. I grinned strapping my knife to my thigh, before standing up. "Come on old man." I demanded slipping my quiver over my head.

He grinned as he got up, "God I forgot how bossy you can be!" he grumbled causing me to laugh. We made our way over to a tree not far from the house. While he set up a make shift target, I strapped on my glove and started setting up my bow.

We didn't realize we had developed an audience as I worked out my arm and back muscles while perfected my once perfect aim as Daryl yelled insults about my lack of practice and laziness. Letting it go in one ear and out the other, my aim became truer and faster.

"Wow Bella!" someone exclaimed as I hit the center of the target for the third time. I turned a grin on my face to see Beth, Maggie, Glenn, Jimmy and T-Dog.

"I'm impressed." Rick said walking up behind everyone, causing me to blush.

"Thanks I learned from the master himself." I said indicating toward my Uncle, who just grunted. I just shook my head.

I start packing my stuff up, when I pulled my shirt up a little too far revealing the burn scar on my left hip and up my side. I quickly pulled my shirt down, praying no one saw but my heart sunk when I heard the dreaded question.

"What happened there, Bella?" Beth asked.

I took a deep breath, "I was in a car accident on my eleventh birthday..." was all I said before I pushed my way through the group and went into the house. Only a few people knew that I had been in the car with my stepdad. Fifteen years later I still get nightmares. I reached my room and flung my bag on to the chair in the corner and threw myself on to the bed.

Soon I drifted off to sleep…

The next morning...

Slowly I opened my eyes, blinking several times as my eyes adjusted to the morning sun shining through the window, guess I was out for a while. I looked to my left to see Maggie passed out beside me on the bed. I smiled as I slowly stood up so I wouldn't wake her and walked barefoot to the window. Looking out I saw several tents already set up as my eyes fell on my Dad's bike.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I headed out into the morning sun; shoeless, dressed in shorts once more and a black guns and roses shirt, my mind on everything that has happened. I tiptoed through the house making sure not to disturb those who were sleeping. Stepping outside, I took a deep breath before I walked across the yard, moving quietly among the tents unsure if people were asleep, I stopped next to the black motorcycle that was Merle's pride and joy. Spotting the saddlebags, I knelt down next to the bike and start going through the bags, not knowing what I was looking for.

I pull out several bags of drugs causing me to shake my head 'dumb fuck'. I never understood why Merle always had to be drunk or stoned all the time. I had tried several times to get him help but we'd end up fighting for days on end. I found several knives, a hand gun, my stolen MP3 player 'that asshole...' and two bottles of homemade moonshine.

I reached into the bottom of the last saddlebag, surprised as I pulled out a wallet size picture of my Mama and I with Dad and Uncle Daryl. My uncle told me Merle had burned everything that reminded him of our lives in Ireland.

It was Christmas and I was a baby dressed in a red and white dress, a white bow on my head. I had a huge grin on my face as Daryl who was fourteen at the time was dressed in jeans and a black sweater. He stood in front of my parents proudly holding me in his arms, it was one of few pictures where he was actually smiling. My eyes went to my parents' face's, the love in their eyes made me choke back a sob. My mama was a tall redhead with large green eyes, she was dressed in a red and white dress, her hair hung around her shoulders. While Merle was a young man with a military cut hair style and broad shoulders. His blue eyes matched my own and Daryl's.

Hearing movement within the camp, I quickly put everything away, except the picture, my MP3 player, and a bottle of the moonshine, I don't know why but I kept the hand gun. Standing up, I slipped the gun into the back of my shorts and hid it under my shirt. I turned my mp3 player on before slipping it in my front pocket and putting the headphone in, the music of Evanescence drowned out my thoughts as I made my way to the large field, taking a swig from the bottle after offering it to the sky above.

I never noticed the guy on top of the RV.

Having not had a decent drink in almost a year, I was buzzing pretty good by the time I reached the field, but I kept on walking, stumbling through the waist high grass - not sure of where I was heading, the trees seemed like the best place. Fighting a losing battle against the tears that were slipping down my cheeks, I kept drinking; trying to numb the pain and sorrow, the loss of Evan, Mama, Mike and now Anna and Otis were hard, but the loss of Merle was my breaking point. Despite not having a close relationship he was still my Father.

Finally collapsing in the middle of the field, I didn't care if anyone at the house could see me or not. I drew the gun from behind my back and laid it in my lap. I stared into the picture of my family as I took another long swig from the bottle. I looked into the woods willing them to be there. The man who never gave a shit about me, my sister that I couldn't save and the big guy who help save a girl on the side of the road. Before I knew it I was downing the last of the bottle in one large gulp.

I toyed with the bottle for a few minutes before I threw the empty bottle into the air with a scream, drew the handgun from my lap and fired once. Despite being drunk the bottle shattered into a million pieces. I felt nothing as the shot echoed throughout the field, struggling to stand, I got to my bare feet – now bleeding from stepping on rocks and sticks. I turned and faced the house, ready to go back, but I couldn't move. I stared at the gun in my hand, contemplating putting it to my temple.

"I can't..." I whispered before sinking to my knees, sobs racking my body. I ripped the headphones from my ears in frustration. The sound of feet pounding caused me to open my eyes; I came face to face with Rick, Maggie and two others, Glenn and T-Dog.

I started to laugh hysterically like some mad women, tears streaming down my face. The moonshine running quickly through my system. "Anyone for Russian Roulette?" I ask swinging the gun around "Time to leave this shit hole the fun way, that is if you got the balls."

Rick stepped forward slowly, "Easy Bella." he whispered holding his hands up in front of him when he noticed the handgun in my hand. "Do you really want to do this?" he asked quietly moving closer one step at a time. He stopped when I looked down at the gun and looked back up at him, tears streaming down my face.

"I can't do this anymore." I sobbed bringing the gun up to my temple. "Everything I ever loved gets taken from me!"

"What about Daryl?" Rick says staring at me, his burning into mine. Causing me to take the gun from my temple. "You just found him and now you want to take yourself away from him. He's your blood." Since Rick had me distracted, I didn't notice T-Dog nudge Glenn, who turned around and ran toward the house.

"I'm nothing like him. I'm not strong enough for this world." I stated tears blurring my vision.

Maggie steps forward, kneeling down she drew my attention away from Rick, "Who survived Atlanta on their own? Who fought so they could find their sister? Their daddy and uncle? You are stronger then you give yourself credit. Otis and Anna wouldn't want you to do this." she states tears streaming down her cheeks, "And I don't think your daddy would too."

"Don't you dare bring them into this!" I snapped glaring at her, "He's not my 'daddy'. He's just some dumb redneck who chose a life of prison, drugs and booze over his own blood."

"Isabella Cathleen Dixon! What the hell are you doing?"

I jump at my full name, "Motherfucker!' I groaned, "Really? Go away Daryl!" I screamed, turning to my Uncle as he comes running up with the other guy on his heels. "I'm done! I've lost Anna, Otis, Mama, Mike and now Merle! I can't handle if I lose anyone else, I can't lose you too. This is easier. Easiest for everyone..." I state and with that I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger.