A/N: So, RL is back so my writing time is hindered a bit. But I'm trying, lol. Quite enjoyed writing this chapter, it's nice now and again not to be so harsh and if you're reading It's All For You, you'll know what I'm talking about. I think fluffy hat maybe taking over in this one, finally, heheheee.

BTW, the next IAFU instalment will hopefully be up later.

Thanks very much for the great reviews. It makes me so proud that all of you still stick by my story after so long. It will be 5 years old in November. I may throw a party! HA!

Grateful thanks to Calim, not only has she started a new job but she still makes time to be an awesome beta. *I bow to thee*

So on we go…

Chapter 117

The removal of Grissom's stitches went smoothly, without any fuss from the patient. He'd stirred a little during the procedure, moaning and trying to turn away from the doctor in his sleep but, to the relief of all, he'd remained in a peaceful slumber.

David had watched over him for a while afterwards but departed a little before dinner time, happy Grissom was doing better. However, the doctor had warned the household not to get distracted by the fact Grissom's temperature had dropped. He still needed constant supervision and one hundred percent care, especially when it came to his wound. The infection still raged within him and it wasn't unlikely that a small recovery could lead to a giant relapse.

Sara was looking through the window again, watching as the sun came down. Everything looked so beautiful in its coat of white. So shinny and peaceful. Her only hope was that she would get to enjoy the winter's weather with her fiancé - donning her thickest, warmest clothing, trudging with him, hand in hand through the cool, crisp snow and laughing at him when she managed to throw a sneaky snowball in his direction.

Sighing, she turned from the window when a gentle moan caught her ears. Slowly moving to the bed, she studied his face and the frown which appeared upon his brow. Something was certainly bothering him in his dreams.

"Gil…" she whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. His lips parted for a second but all that came was a small breath of air.

He remained sleeping.

A small smile clung to her lips as she raised her hand and ran it gently through his hair. "You need to stay strong for me," she began, bringing her fingertips to pass over his right cheek. "Do you hear me?" Her hand came to settle softly upon his chin, her thumb rubbing over his dimple as she stared at his mouth, his lips…

After only a moment's thought and, for the first time since her ordeal and without fear, she leaned into him, close, and brushed her own lips over his.

"I won't let you go," came another whisper. "We have our whole lives to look forward too."

She kissed him again but upon hearing a throat being cleared behind her, she quickly sprang to her feet to see her mother standing just a few feet away with a bowl of clean water in her hands. Sara nervously entwined her fingers in front of her, feeling her cheeks reddening. This was not really the kind of position she wanted to be caught in, especially in her father's house. At least not until after the wedding.

"I…" Sara hesitated but paused when Laura smiled.

"Don't look so afraid, child," Laura snickered. "Just be thankful I'm not your father," she continued on a laugh, approaching her daughter and placing the bowl down.

"Sorry," Sara apologized. "I just…" Her eyes narrowed then. "I don't know actually…"

Laura's smile remained as she checked Grissom's temperature. "Did you desire to kiss him?" she asked, placing a fresh, cool cloth on the rancher's forehead. Sara swallowed then nodded. "Then that's why you did," Laura clarified for her daughter. "And I'm glad." Now Laura glanced at her daughter and Sara gave her a smile, feeling herself relax. "It means you are healing, too, just like Gil."

Sara's smile faltered and she swallowed again, taking a breath and rounding the bed to sit in her chair. "You know…after everything that's happened with Gil since the shooting, it really has taken my mind off…" she hesitated and looked down to the sheets.

"No one ever thought it was going to be easy, Sara," Laura replied, grabbing the bed sheet covering Grissom and pulling it down a touch. "Things that you've been through will never leave your mind but they can be controlled if you try hard enough. Your happiness is in your own hands."

"Is Gil's happiness in his own hands, too?" Sara shot back.

Laura straightened herself out. "It will be, eventually, when we help him through his own ordeal. But I know for a fact that he only requires one thing to be happy."

Sara frowned. "And what's that?"

"You."

Sara's cheeks flushed again and she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid, Mother…" she admitted.

Laura's face contorted with concern and she stepped around the bed to join her daughter, sitting in the chair beside her. "Tell me why…"

Inhaling deeply again, Sara looked her mother in the eye. "Gil will recover, I know he will. I can feel it."

Laura nodded. "I think so, too…But that's not what's on your mind is it?"

"No," Sara replied, shaking her head.

Taking her daughter's hands, Laura held them softly, conscious of Sara's previous injury even though she hadn't made a fuss of it. "Tell me why you're afraid…"

"Well…" Sara licked her now dry lips, "…Gil will get better and…we'll get married…"

Laura's eyes widened. "Sara, you do want to get married, don't you?" she gasped.

Sara half grinned. "Yes, Mother, I do. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with Gil." Puffing a sigh of relief, Laura leaned forwards a touch. "It's just…" Sara tugged her hands free and fiddled with her fingers. She looked to the ceiling not entirely sure how she was going to say what she wanted to without being totally embarrassed. "It's what comes after the wedding that I'm terrified about."

Laura frowned, not quite understanding.

"The wedding night…" Sara whispered, shooting a quick glance to the bed. "You know…"

Laura's mouth opened in realization. "Oh…"

"I just…" Sara sniffed, feeling her stomach cramp, "…don't know if I can give to him what a wife should be giving to a husband on the first night of their martial union. I don't know if I can do it…He deserves a wife that can fulfil his needs…"

Retaking her daughter's hands, Laura gave Sara a smile of reassurance. "Sara…the wedding won't be tomorrow. There is still lots of time for your confidence to grow and for your desire to return. And, even if you're still struggling when the time comes, Gil will understand. That's just the kind of man he is and I know he loves you. It won't matter to him, not as much as you think it will."

"But it matters to me," Sara argued.

Laura sighed. "Sara..." A light tap sounded at the door breaking the conversation. "Yes, Rana?"

"Dinner is ready, Ma'am," Rana announced, standing in the doorway.

"Thank you, Rana," Laura responded with a nod.

"Would you like me to stay while you go down to eat, Ma'am?" the housekeeper asked.

Laura shook her head. "No, that's fine. Thank you."

The older woman nodded. "As you wish."

Standing, Laura pulled Sara with her. "Go downstairs and eat. I'll stay with Gil for a little while."

Sara didn't look all that thrilled at the request, especially considering where they had left their conversation.

"We can continue this later if you want to." She clasped her hands lovingly over Sara's shoulders. "But please, try not to let it worry you. Not yet…it's just too soon. Alright?

"Okay," Sara mumbled with little confidence.

Laura watched as Sara sombrely walked from the room. She certainly didn't envy her daughter. No woman should have to deal with the demons Sara had to. But she would be there, as a mother, as much as she possibly could. Exhaling a heavy breath she turned to the bed but then took a step back. Grissom was looking right at her and she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Hmmm…" she mewed suspiciously as she approached the fallen rancher. "Playing possum are we?" she asked. He blinked at her. Pouting her lips, she checked the cloth on his head. "How much of that did you hear?"

A small cough passed through his lips and Laura grabbed the jug of water from the table, pouring some into a glass. She held up the crystal canister, tapping it gently with her finger nails.

"Come on…" she urged, leaning toward him to slip in an arm behind his body to lift him forwards. He drank swiftly, the water a very welcome cure to his dry throat. "So…" she continued placing the glass down, "…how much did you hear?" she repeated.

He moved a little and winced, a pellet of sweat rushing down his right cheek. "All of it," he admitted on a groan, his eyes closing as he become very aware of the burning in his abdomen again.

She nodded knowingly. "I thought as much. It's not very nice to eavesdrop but you always were a crafty one…" She moved down the bed and whipped the bed sheet from his torso and he shivered as the cold air caught the skin of his exposed chest.

"I already knew…" he grimaced as Laura gently pressed around his wound, "…that Sara…had…concerns…" It was hard to talk, each word took so much effort as pain continued to ravage his body.

"Keep still, Gil," she advised, peeling away his dressing.

His eyes clenched tightly closed, his head pressing into the pillow, the veins in his neck pulsing and surging upwards. Groaning, his right hand gripped at the mattress below him while she removed the covering on his wound.

"Well done," she commended once the dressing was totally free. "Now we can give it a little air before we re-dress it."

He slumped back against the pillows, sweat now running down his face.

She tapped him gently on the right foot as she passed by the base of the bed in search of a fresh dressing. "Try not to move so much," she suggested. "You are using up what little energy you have left."

He rolled his eyes, sucking in deep breaths, feeling so very tired as he always seemed since he was shot. "It's not…like…I can…help it…" he spat, gritting his teeth. "I was…dumped in a freezing bath…after all…"

Looking up from the bag David had left them, she gave him a surprised look. "I will forgive the attitude," she declared. "Considering your condition…"

Cursing under his breath, his eyes closed again.

Laura placed the clean dressing on the bedside table and sat. "So, how did you know about Sara's concerns?"

Licking his lips, he swallowed, his eyes remaining closed as he answered. "Is this…" He took a lazily breath, "…really a conversation I…should be having with my…future mother-in-law?"

Laura was concerned at his effort to talk now and considered dropping the matter. But, she would have felt better with an answer to her question. The more she knew about her daughter's state of mind, the more she could try and help.

"It will stay between us," she said.

He sighed sleepily. "Because…she told me," he mumbled, darkness gripping at him once again.

She was surprised by his answer but then again, not so. It had been a huge effort for Sara to commit to his proposal, so her being totally truthful with him wasn't all that unexpected.

Reaching out a hand, Laura tenderly squeezed his arm. "Okay…" she whispered softly.

"Can I sleep now?" he barely managed to mutter.

Laura smiled. "You go right ahead…"

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

The night drew on and most had retired for the evening. Sara returned to Grissom's room right after dinner to take over from her mother so she could go and eat. Laura admitted to Grissom's participation in a little conversation which made Sara happy but the lady of the house hadn't revealed the topic. She thought it best not to, especially after Sara had decided not to continue with their own conversation. She shied away from the subject when Laura brought it back up, revealing she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Knowing she wouldn't be allowed to stay up much longer, Sara decided not to argue with her mother about her being too old to send to bed. Not this night. Looking after someone as sick as Grissom took a lot of energy and, to do that, she had to take care of herself. But until someone came and threw her out, she would read to him.

The lantern lit room flickered an orange glow. Her fingers were cold as they turned the page and she looked over her shoulder to the small fireplace at the far side of the room. They hadn't lit it because of Grissom's raging temperature but now he had cooled some, she wondered if it was best to add a little warmth to the area. After all, she didn't want him catching a chill. Any other virus would surely doom him. Not knowing what was best, she decided to wait for her mother to return before asking the question.

Her attention drew back to him when she heard him stir, a tiny groan breaking the silence in the room. Placing the book down, Sara moved to sit on the edge of the bed where she waited to see if he would wake or not. After a few moments, his eyes slowly opened.

As his head turned and his eyes met hers, she smiled. "Hi…" she whispered.

"Hummmm…" he mumbled, blinking at her, his right arm shifting so his hand flopped onto his chest. "Chain…"

Sara frowned, her lips pursing. "Chain?" she questioned, not understanding.

Slowly, he tugged her hand up so it came to rest on his throat. Her eyes questioned his, she didn't get it. "I don't…"

"My chain…my locket…" he managed to say. "I can feel…it's not there…"

"Ohhh…" Sara replied, realizing now. "Umm…"

She looked around not exactly sure where his chain was. She hadn't even noticed it had been removed. More important things had been on her mind. She gave him another smile, smoothing her fingertips over the skin of the hand still holding onto her.

"I…don't actually know where it is but…"

He frowned then.

"But, don't worry," she said with haste. "I promise I'll find it for you, alright?"

Laura and the captain entered, breaking up the moment and Sara quickly pulled her hand free and pushed herself from the bed.

The captain smiled as he approached his future son-in-law. "Good to see you awake," he said truly.

"I…" Grissom shifted, trying to push himself up, grimacing as his wound pulled.

Laura's eyes widened and she hurried to him, planting her hands on his knees. "I told you not to move so much, Gil," she warned. "You'll hurt yourself."

Grissom looked to everyone in the room, his head slumping back against the pillows in frustration. "I have…to go…" he mumbled quietly.

Sara looked to her mother in confusion and then back to her fiancé. "Go where?" she questioned. "You can't go anywhere right now, Gil."

Grissom's cheeks clearly reddened and he closed his eyes. "I need…" His fingers nervously clenched in and out, "…outhouse…"

Laura's lips formed an 'oh' and her eyes flicked to her family members. She cleared her throat trying to save him any embarrassment but, it was going to be difficult given the situation.

"Well…" she scratched her nose, "…we'll just have to take care of that in here…"

The rancher's posture notably stiffened and his eyes opened, his glance falling right upon the lady who had just made that suggestion.

"There is absolutely no way you can even stand right now, Gil, let alone walk and it's not like I haven't seen it before. I've been caring for you ever since you were shot…"

He stared at her dumbfounded. "I was unconscious…that's…." he winced again, his bladder now becoming uncomfortable, "…a little different."

She shrugged, trying hard not to find this just a tiny bit amusing. It really shouldn't be.

Sweat re-emerged on his forehead and Sara felt his embarrassment. Gil Grissom rarely asked anyone for anything let alone needing their help for the simplest thing as a call of nature. But now he was drinking water again, the fluid had to come out eventually…

"Would it make you more comfortable if Thomas helped you instead with one of the boys?" Laura asked, doing her best to satisfy him during this very awkward time.

Grissom just shook his head. He really didn't care now for if someone didn't give him assistance soon, he was going to soil the sheets.

Laura knew immediately, given the look on his face, that they had to make a decision now. "Sara, go get Nicolas and then get yourself ready to retire. You can say goodnight when you've changed."

Sara didn't argue, gave a nod and, after giving her fiancé a weak but bashful smile, left the room.

"Help me sit him up, Thomas," Laura requested. "Then I will leave you to it…"

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Once Sara had changed for bed and had a wash, she returned to Grissom's room. Her father left her with him to say goodnight before retiring to his bedroom.

He looked totally shattered, his eyes were drifting open and closed constantly. He hadn't said anything since she'd returned and obviously wasn't happy at the assistance he'd needed in order to do what a man just needed to do.

Laura appeared behind her, dropping her hands onto her daughter's shoulders. "He's tired," she said. "And so are you. So, I think it's time you call it a night."

"Okay," Sara sighed but then Grissom twisted his head to look at them both. He pointed to his throat and Sara remembered their earlier conversation.

"Oh…yes…" She looked up to her mother. "Where's his locket? He asked for it earlier."

Smiling, Laura pointed to a dresser. "Top drawer in a box. David removed it because it may house germs." She glanced to the rancher. "You can have it back when the infection is gone but for now you mustn't wear anything that can carry bacteria. It may harm you, Gil…"

He looked away without a response and closed his eyes. Sara just hoped he understood. She knew how much the locket meant to him.

"Come…" Laura urged, giving Sara a loving nudge. "Time for bed. Rana will be taking first watch through the night."

Giving a gentle nod, Sara sighed. Hopefully, tomorrow…he would be a little happier…

*** All things, however, were in their places; all was quiet; and he lay asleep, his white hair picturesque on the untroubled pillow, and his hands lying quiet on the coverlet. She put her needless candle in the shadow at a distance, crept up to his bed, and put her lips to his; then, leaned over him, and looked at him.

She timidly laid her hand on his dear breast, and put up a prayer that she might ever be as true to him as her love aspired to be, and as his sorrows deserved. Then, she withdrew her hand, and kissed his lips once more, and went away. So, the sunrise came, and the shadows of the leaves of the plane-tree moved upon his face, as softly as her lips had moved in praying for him. ***

*** - Extracts taken form A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens