Jane sits at the edge of her seat. She can see her mother's figure cross the door frame every few seconds, pacing back and forth in the mostly empty hospital hallway. Jane is not surprised at the sheer number of people who call in to ask about the woman sleeping on the bed, she however is surprised that Paddy makes the list. Not in person, of course. But he does send over an associate, Marcus, to check up. Just as Marcus makes his exit Jane's phone rings with one frantic Hope Martin on the other end.
It would be touching if the pressure building inside her chest had subsided now that Maura is in sight, but everything inside her is in a slow-motion frenzy that makes the grip she has on the seat handle tighten to the point where her knuckles are white.
She nods as she answers Hope's questions. She replies slowly. Yes, Maura is safe. No, we won't know the extent until they run some tests. Yes, she is malnourished. No, no signs of rape. Yes, I will keep you updated. No, she is not awake. No, I don't know when she will be. No, her mother is not here yet. No, she is never going to be alone again.
Angela's head stops at the door followed by the rest of her a moment later.
"Was that Constance?"
"No, she is probably on a plane, Ma."
"Well, she had better be. If it were my child- what am I saying, Maura is my child. Look at her," And Jane does.
She looks at the woman wrapped up in so many bandages one would think they are the only things holding her together. Her gaze lingers on the one wrapped around her throat. She tells no one who has not seen Maura in person about that. Her heart still clenches exactly the way it did when she saw her in the basement; Korsak unfolding the ropes binding her hands and feet, her hair wild and dull, her eyes closed in a drug induced sleep. It wasn't until her eyes fell on rope burns with the telltale signs of hanging that Jane froze in her tracks. It wasn't Maura she tells herself. Maura would never attempt to take her own life, but she knows little of what happened in that basement and the man responsible is already in the ground with no more answers for her.
She straightens the flimsy blanket covering Maura, she will have to get Angela to bring in something from home because she does not plan on leaving until Maura does.
"Ma," Jane's voice breaks, "This is my fault."
Angela rushes over to her daughter's side in the blink of an eye. "Don't you ever, for a second carry the blame that rightfully rests on that psychopath! You listen to me Janie, this is all on him, it is not your fault." She places a hand on her shoulder lending comfort, but Jane says nothing.
It is her fault. He came after her through Maura. Maura is only collateral and look at all the damage.
"When will she wake up?" Angela asks after a moment that seems to stretch on forever.
Jane shrugs and stands up. "I'm going for a walk, you stay here?"
Angela nods and settles down. "Go home for a while, Jane. Freshen up. You haven't left her side since you brought her here and god knows the last time you went to sleep. Take a few hours, get some breakfast and I'll be here."
Jane shakes her head. "Thanks, ma. But I can't leave."
She walks away, making her way to the cafeteria. Coffee. She needs some coffee, no matter how despicable it tastes. She taps her shoes against the marble floors waiting for the lift doors to open. Korsak waves. He is already out the door before it has even opened followed by Frankie, Suzie and other people from the morgue that she can't be bothered to exchange pleasantries with.
"They wanted to check on her," Korsak nods at the group he came with and points in the direction of the room. "How is she doing?"
"They cleaned her up. Bandaged and all, but mostly the same."
"Has she woken up?"
Jane shakes her head.
"Where are you headed off to?"
"Coffee."
"You could take a break? I'll stay if you want."
"Thanks for the offer. I'm good where I am."
He shrugs. "Suit yourself."
Jane presses the button to call back the lift.
"You want any?"
He shakes his head.
"Frankie?"
"I'm good. Besides I tried it when we got here, tasted like feet, or dirt, or dirty feet. Maybe you'll have better luck now that it's nearly breakfast service."
Maura opens her eyes to find one hand entrapped in Angela's grip and the other tied down with an IV. The shadow of two hunched figures lurks at the back. It takes a moment for her vision to adjust, but the lights are still too much. She winces as the rays coming in through the window fall into her eyes. Too much. She pulls the blanket higher and closes shut her eyes. There is no Jane in this room. This is only a dream.
Angela stands up startled with a wide smile drawn on her face. She tugs at the blanket to face the battered woman underneath.
"You're awake,"
Maura nods slowly, her eyes narrow.
Angela turns behind her to spot the source of her discomfort and motions for Frankie to close the thick curtains.
"How- no wait that is a silly question. I'll let the nurses know you're awake and the doctors can come check up on you. I'm so glad you're awake."
Maura stares at her blankly.
"You were kidnapped, Maura." Angela's forehead creases in her bewilderment.
Maura makes no move to respond.
"But you're safe now. We're all here."
Maura's eyes search the room again. Three people. Frankie. Korsak. Angela. Not everyone is here.
"Frankie," She turns to face her son, "Go get a nurse, will you?"
Frankie dashes out, leaving Maura under the concerned stares of the remaining people in the room.
"Jane just went to get coffee, she should be here any moment," Korsak steps closer to the bed but when Maura seems to sink further away he stops in his tracks.
"Oh sweetie," Angela brushes a stray strand of hair from Maura's face. She doesn't know what to say anymore. I am sorry you were kidnapped? I am sorry he did these things to you? None of those things feel like the right thing to say so she places a comforting hand over Maura's own and settles back into the chair waiting for the nurse to arrive.
It is Jane who comes first. She stops at the door, her eyes wide. Surely every person in this hospital can hear the pounding in her chest? It certainly drums loud enough in her ears to drown out any other sound.
"Maura," The name leaves her lips like a prayer finally answered.
Maura stares at Jane. This cannot be Jane. This is not real. She closes her eyes and turns away. This is not real. Jane was with her, they were enjoying a nice bottle of wine in her living room. This is not real. Her wrists itch and her throat feels raw and scratchy. This is not real. She can still feel the ghost of that basement looming over her. But this is not real. Nothing is real.
"Maura," Jane repeats coming closer. She utters the word as if it is a delicate crystal that could shatter at any moment. And perhaps it will.
Angela nods at Jane and motions for Korsak to follow her out the door, but Jane's eyes are trained only on the form lying on the bed.
She comes to a stop a few inches from the bed.
"I'm sorry." Jane's voice breaks into a strangled sob.
Maura opens her eyes to face her.
"I'm sorry I took so long,"
Maura traces the form of this woman standing before her with her eyes. Her cheeks are hollow. Her eyes are red. She is skinnier, if that could even be possible. There is something off about her. Something unlike her Jane. Her eyes seem so lost one would think she was the one who spent a yet to be identified amount of time in some man's basement as a sick form of revenge.
"I'm here now."
"No you aren't." Maura states. Her voice is hoarse and forces Jane to take a step back at the bluntness, the conviction it carries.
"I am, Maura. I am right here."
"No." Maura's breath comes out ragged.
Jane stares at Maura. The woman lying before her is terrified and curling up into a shell that she has no access to.
"No, Maura." Jane's forehead creases in confusion. "This is real, we brought you here last night. You're safe now."
Maura looks away. She turns over, her legs rubbing against the ragged hospital sheets and winces as a spark of pain shoots down the wound above her ankles. She closes her eyes. She needs to be away from this endless nightmare.
Jane sighs. She knows this is going to be difficult. She just thought the hardest parts were over. She has Maura and yet, this woman does not feel like Maura. Her Maura seems to be stuck somewhere far, a place that is not here.
Jane walks out of the room and into a nurse. The tray in her hand clatters to the ground with water splashing over the marble floor and two different colored pills rolling away.
"I'm sorry," Jane crouches down.
She hands the items to the nurse who offers her a small smile.
"She needs time, detective. The isolation has damaged her."
Jane does not like the word damaged and she has decided she does not like anyone who associates the word damaged with Maura either, so so gives a curt nod and walks away.
The nurse tosses the pills in the bin and smiles brightly at the woman on the bed turning to face her.
"How are you doing this morning, Dr. Isles. I'm Tracy. You can reach for the button anytime you need me. The doctors will be in to see you shortly." Maura does not reply, she keep staring so Tracy continues. "I seem to have made a bit of a mess, so I'll get your medication, don't worry it's just vitamins and the sort to help you get back in that beautiful shape. You'll be right as rain in no time."
"That's ridiculous," Maura whispers, Tracy's eyebrows fold into a question. Maura shakes her head. "This bruise on my face will take at least two weeks to heal, the marks on my wrist and ankles will heal faster, but it will in no way be no time. My body will take much longer." She does not mention the burns around her throat, or the confusion swarming her mind, or the panic set in her chest.
"All that would be true is this were real." She finishes silently.
But it feels real, Maura admits. The pain is real. The people seem real. This woman would have known all these things has she been a figment of her imagination. Yet, that other place in her mind, the other Jane, they seem real too. Maura gulps, a tear slips down her cheek and onto the pillow.
Everything is okay now. Yep, totally okay. It's all fine.