CHAPTER 12

Jane hated the 67 days she walked into the BPD offices without Maura a few floors down. She hated unconsciously walking towards Maura's office and finding only ghosts lingering about. She hated going down to get reports from someone who wasn't this woman before her, fastening the clasp on her necklace. She hated it.

And yet the ocean turning over in her gut says something different. Of course she missed Maura at work, with all her heart and soul. But she can't help but wonder how things could ever be the same, how she can breathe knowing that any perp she angers could go after this innocent woman who did nothing to deserve that cell of a basement.

Maura fumbles with the clasp for well over two minutes when Jane finally steps forward.

"Let me." She fastens it in a heartbeat and Maura turns to face her standing only a breath away, making her pulse throb harder and faster. "You're sure?"

Maura opens her mouth to let out assurances but Jane cuts her off with her fears.

"I mean no one expects you to get back so soon. Your place is still waiting for you whenever you decide to come back. It's okay if you need more time, Maura."

Maura raises her eyebrows. "It seems like you're the one who needs the time, Jane. Are you cheating on me with the interim chief?"

The red that flushes to Jane's cheeks brings a lump to her throat and swallows her words whole. She stutters and turns to hide the blush when Maura erupts into laugher. It is a sound that has become so rare as of late, and it swiftly warms her insides.

"Come on. I don't want to be late my first day back." Maura heads to the kitchen where Angela has served up breakfast, a habit she has taken up since Maura has returned.

"You didn't have to, Angela."

"Nonsense! I love taking care of my kids and blood or no blood you're my kid, Maura."

"That is very kind of you. Thank you," Maura smiles.

It doesn't take them long and Angela leaves them to it. Jane chugs her coffee, only the first of many she will be drinking during the day and Maura sips her juice and eats her omelet with grace that Jane could never muster. She watches Maura bite on the piece of toast. They way her lips curve when she sips the juice. They way her throat swells as she swallows. And then she quickly tears away the gaze that is lingering on red lips drawing a raised eyebrow from the other woman.

"I'm feeling much better, Jane. You have to stop worrying so much."

"I just don't want- I couldn't live with myself if- I just I-"

Maura offers her reprieve in the form of a small smile. "I know, Jane. Just a little less hovering?"

Jane nods slowly. "I guess I could give it a try."

They stay mostly silent on the ride to work. Jane looks over at Maura every now and then, but she just stares out the rolled down window with the breeze gently ruffling her hair.

Jane holds down the lift button for Maura to enter. Maura stares at the ground between them while Jane's eyebrows slowly fold into concern.

"Everything alright, Maur?"

It takes a moment for her to register the sound. She shakes her head and puts on a smile that Jane sees right through. "Of course it is."

Jane steps out of the lift blocking her way and tugs at her hand leading her to the ladies room. With the door securely closed behind them Jane looks over at the fear etched onto Maura's otherwise flawless features and pulls both hands into her own.

"We can go home now if you want."

In the small distance between them Jane can smell Maura's hair. The scent is even stronger than her shampoo. In the week that Jane has returned to Maura's house she has grown familiar to the scent, made her it comfort zone even. It is different than the lavender that Maura used before. She can't quite pin down what 'Summer Breeze' is meant to be, but whatever it is, it smells divine.

"No. I have to do this. I need to go back to normal."

"I know you do, but you don't have to do it straight away. You can take your time. No one in this building is going to hold it against you."

Maura doesn't say anything for a while. She stares at the reflection in the mirror. The bruise around her throat has faded to a memory. The scar on her arm is just that; a scar. Her body is slowly regaining its form. She is returning and yet she feels stuck. "He would win." The voice is a faint whisper, so much that if Jane weren't staring intently she would have missed it.

"He's dead, Maura."

"But he isn't." Jane raises her eyebrows in confusion. "If he managed to take away all this from me he gets to live, he gets to live in my fear, Jane. He gets to live in his victory. I have to do this. I need to do this. So he can't win."

Jane pauses and moment and then nods.

"Okay. You do this. I have your back, anything you need."

"I need to see if anyone has messed up my office."

Jane laughs. "Oh I made sure they wouldn't dare."

I'm so sorry I'm not consistent with the updates, but I'll try and make it up to you by getting out another one soon.