26.

"And den I kick!" Noah performed his soccer moves for the doorman who assisted Ed by carrying a large package that had been delivered while they were at the morning's game. Noah wove a path down the hall ahead of the men. When he came to the Tucker door he jump-stopped, turned around, and announced, "And den da whistle and den….GOAL!"

"Shhhh," Ed said but his eyes sparkled, sending the message to Noah that he didn't really care whether or not his son was disrupting neighbors. He unlocked the door and pointed to an empty spot next to the shoes. "Right there's good. Appreciate the help."

The doorman nodded, "No problem. Keep up the good work on the soccer field, little man."

"Yep!" Noah ran into the living room without removing his shoes. Ed heard him shout, "MOMMY!"

Confused, Ed screwed up his face and followed Noah's steps.

"Liv?"

His wife was seated on the edge of the sofa, leaning forward, elbows on her knees.

"Hey," she replied softly and looked up at him through tear-filled eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Olivia swallowed. "Hey, Noah, why don't you go back by the door and take off your shoes and shin guards, okay? Then I want to hear all about your game."

Ed waited patiently for Noah to scamper to the foyer. Fear burned in his gut; Olivia was supposed to be working all day today and he certainly didn't expect her home two hours after she departed for the precinct.

"What happened?" He asked again.

Tears tumbled down Olivia's cheeks as she replied, "Munch died."

"Oh no." Ed quickly took the seat next to her and she allowed herself to melt into her husband's comforting embrace. "When?"

"A couple days ago," she sniffed, "He was…overseas…some type of virus…Cragen called me this morning."

"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry." Ed rocked her gently and kissed her head. "So sorry."

A barefooted Noah returned and rushed to his mother's side. "Mommy, you sad?"

"Yes, sweet boy, but," Olivia grabbed a tissue and quickly pulled herself together, "Tell me about the soccer game and I won't be sad anymore." Noah climbed into her lap and told his mother all about running in his "keets" and wearing his white jersey today instead of the black one.

"Were Brookey and Sarah there?"

"Uh-huh. Sisters dere."

"Good," Olivia ran her fingers through his hair and hugged him to her chest, "How about we have lunch then Mommy's going back to work for a little while."

"You're going back?" Ed asked incredulously.

"I have to. And…there's not much I can do here. Hearing it…just shocked me…I had to get out of there for a while."

"Alright," Ed conceded reluctantly, "I'll make lunch. You want peanut butter or turkey, No?"

"Tukkey!"

Ed lovingly smoothed Olivia's hair. "And Mommy?"

"Turkey's good. Thank you."

"My pleasure," Ed said with a wink and a sympathetic smirk. He got to work making the sandwiches, opened a bag of potato chips, and served the informal lunch on the island. Noah longingly looked at Ed's ginger ale, knowing his sips would have to wait until his mother was not in the room.

…..

Abiding by John Munch's wishes and according to Jewish tradition, he was buried in a small, private ceremony as soon as his body arrived back in the United States. A few of his closest NYPD colleagues, including Lieutenant Benson, collaborated to plan a memorial service for the beloved Sergeant. The team reserved a small banquet hall in midtown. In attendance were a few members of his family, but the majority of the crowd consisted of current and former police officers and, after a while, took on the feel of a family reunion rather than a wake. The guests took turns sharing their favorite Munch memories through laughter and through tears, and then Olivia took the microphone to announce the establishment of a fund in Munch's name which would be used to provide scholarships to children of fallen officers.

She was busily accepting and cataloguing donations at a table set up away from the main gathering area when Brian Cassidy approached her. Being in charge of the event allowed Olivia to stifle much of her grief, but it also helped her avoid awkward encounters like this one.

"Hey, Liv."

Olivia had her face buried in a ledger book when she heard Brian's voice. It had been a few years since she'd seen him, but she recognized that voice anywhere. Immediately, she wondered about Ed's location and how he would react if he saw Brian having a semi-private conversation with her.

She greeted him with a warm smile and instinctively played with her rings, "Brian. Hi." The table separated them, negating the chances of a hug. "How are you?"

"Good, uh, well, considering. Really too bad about Munch. I feel terrible…kinda lost contact with everyone in Manhattan when I moved to Brooklyn."

"Yeah, we always say we'll stay in touch…but it never happens."

"Had you seen him at all since he retired?"

"Sure," Olivia told Brian about his assistance with the Gilbert case, "And I thought…he looked frail then. They said it was something he contracted while he was on vacation, but he didn't look completely well. I wonder if there was something he wasn't telling us."

"Yeah, maybe. He wouldn't have wanted to worry you."

"No," Olivia murmured, "No, he wouldn't."

Brian eyed her left hand. "So, uh, I guess…congratulations?"

Olivia clenched her fists. "Thank you." She knew Brian was thinking what everyone else thought when they first learned of her relationship with Tucker.

"Have any pictures of your son?"

A little startled by the request, Olivia almost dropped her phone as she removed it from her pocket. "Sure, ah, here he is." She showed Brian a photo of Noah at the park and quickly flipped through a few more until she saw him raise his eyebrows and briefly cringe.

"That's a nice one."

He was referring to a post-soccer game shot that Sarah snapped. Noah was perched on Ed's shoulders and he held one of Noah's legs with one hand and Olivia's waist with the other.

"Oh, yeah," Olivia replied softly, "He just started playing soccer this year. Scored a goal his first game!"

"That's great."

Olivia had to stop herself from recoiling when Brian extended his arm and grabbed her hand. "Liv, it's really good to see you. You look great. Stunning, really. Looks like life is treating you well."

From the other side of the room, Tucker observed the exchange between his wife and her former boyfriend. He chewed the inside of his mouth in between taking sips of his drink. It took everything he had to not rush over there. Judging by Olivia's body language, she was not exactly thrilled by Cassidy cornering her, so that made him feel better. However, when Brian grabbed her hand, Ed swore his heart stopped beating and it took him only a few seconds to weave through the guests and insert himself into the conversation.

"Liv, crowd's thinnin' out and I told Cragen and Amaro to head to our place." All along, the plan had been to hold a little SVU reunion at the Tucker home after the service, so it was obvious to Olivia that he had contrived a reason to come over. Ed didn't bother excusing the interruption, and he sidled right up to Olivia. "You holdin' up okay?" He whispered lovingly, loud enough so Cassidy could hear.

"I am…this," she motioned to the piled of envelopes, "has been a nice distraction."

"It was a great idea."

"Munch would be proud," Cassidy interjected, mostly to remind Ed he was there.

"I hope so," Olivia croaked, and feeling a lump form in her throat, leaned into Ed. "I need to check in with the manager before we leave."

"Okay, I'll go find him for ya." Before Ed sauntered off, he gave Cassidy a pat on the shoulder and shot him a sort of half-smirk, half-sneer. "Take care of yourself, Cassidy."

Brian stared him down for a second or two and turned to Olivia with a smile on his face. "Tucker," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head knowingly and then lifting his eyes to meet Olivia's. "I have to ask."

Blushing, Olivia replied, "Everyone does."

"How did that happen?"

"We had a couple of cases where IAB had to be involved," Olivia answered with a shrug and tried not to appear too happy. She loved thinking about the way their relationship thawed and then slowly moved towards romance and intimacy. "And one night he offered to buy me a drink…"

Cassidy understood he wasn't getting much more out of her. "You deserve to have a family, Liv. I always knew that's what you wanted."

"It was."

"And I can tell you're happy. You look so…different."

"I feel different, Brian. I have this whole new…everything…perspective, family—"

"And Tucker's the one who gave it to you."

Edginess and sarcasm tinged Brian's voice and his face hardened. Olivia responded accordingly.

"It's the first time I've really felt like I had someone reliable in my corner."

The words wounded Cassidy and he backed off. Seeing Olivia again and seeing her with Tucker of all people ignited a highly combustible emotional bundle of jealousy, confusion, and bewilderment. He read between the lines. It's the first time I've really felt like I had someone reliable in my corner really meant Cassidy wasn't good enough for her. A myriad of replies toggled through his head, but before he could say anything, Tucker returned.

"Manager says everything's all set, Liv. He'll send the receipts to your office."

Olivia scanned the hall. Only a handful of people remained.

"Great. Thank you. I guess, we better go."

Tucker handed over her purse and helped her on with the lightweight black trench coat. Risking being admonished later for putting on an amorous show, he lightly kissed her cheek in the process.

Cassidy hung around, hoping for an invitation, but Olivia quickly slammed the door on that possibility. She took Ed's arm and smiled politely at Brian. "It was good to see you."

"You too," Brian replied brusquely, "Take care, Tucker."

Smugly, Ed sniffed a barely audible "will do" and led Olivia to the exit.

…..

"Did you know he'd be there?" Ed asked as he steered the car into traffic.

Olivia rubbed her temples, "I didn't really think about it…with all the planning and everything."

He put a hand on her thigh, gripping it gently. "You did a great job with everything. Really dignified. Everything went off without a hitch."

Olivia smiled at the compliment and swung the conversation back to the encounter with Brian. "You certainly behaved yourself."

Ed smirked, "I'm so proud of you."

"What does that have to do with behaving yourself?"

"I'm proud to be married to you. Married. That assurance. That made behaving easy."

"I see," Olivia purred, "You were still laying it on thick, though."

"Whaddya mean?" Tucker asked, faking cluelessness.

"You were, um, there was a lot of exaggeration."

Tucker chuckled, "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. And, as usual, you've been so great."

Tucker's cheeks reddened as he shrugged. "I want you to be okay. How are you really?"

"I feel so…guilty…for not staying in touch. Munch was a big brother, mentor, sometimes a father figure, and I just let him go."

"Those things happen, Liv. Our jobs are so hectic…lookit us. Remember?"

Olivia wrung her hands as she recalled a rare rough patch in their early relationship when she found herself doubting whether she had enough space in her life to be a good mother and an attentive girlfriend.

"We struggled there for a little while…and we were practically living together. Don't beat yourself, baby…for somethin' everyone does." He gave her a gentle nudge, "Even the amazing, gorgeous, extraordinary Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker."

Trying to stifle a grin, Olivia turned her head and watched pedestrians pass in front of her while processing Ed's advice. "I don't deserve you," she murmured.

Taking advantage of being stopped at a red light, Ed reached over and took Olivia's face in both his hands, "Don't ever say that, Liv. Don't think that. You deserve and I'm gonna give you the best of everything. I've never met anyone like you."

Olivia fidgeted. The light had changed and the line of drivers behind Tucker angrily blared their horns. A few cars snaked out of line and carefully threaded the needle between their sedan and parked cars.

"Ignore 'em," Ed said firmly, his eyes burning with passion and intense sincerity, "You never ever have to wonder if you deserve me or our family or our happiness because I'm tellin' you right now, once and for all, that you do."

"Ed, someone's gonna get out of their—"

He kissed her firmly on the lips. "Say you deserve the best." Another, gentler, kiss followed. "Say it, Liv," he whispered and kissed her again. "Please?"

"I deserve the best," she croaked through a lump in her throat.

"Thank you." He kissed her one final time before returning to his side of the car and stepping on the gas pedal.

"There are about fifty people behind us wanting to kill you," she bantered.

"Nah," Tucker replied flippantly, gripping her thigh once again. "They'd calm down after I explained I love you too much to let you think that way."

…

Traffic snarled the Midtown streets and the guests ended up beating Ed and Olivia home. When they arrived, Sarah and Brooke, who had been babysitting, were playing hostesses. They'd arranged hors d'ouvers on the dining table and made sure everyone had a fresh drink. With Noah providing entertainment, nobody noticed the arrival of the apartment owners.

"Now, Noey," Sarah instructed, "Let's count to ten in Spanish with our song. Ready? Go!"

Noah and Sarah broke into a Sesame Street rendition of the counting song and applause ensued.

"I hope we're not going to kill the mood," Ed cracked.

Noah heard his Dad's voice and broke through the huddle of people. "Daddy!"

Everyone's eyes tracked the little boy scamper into Ed Tucker's arms, squeeze his neck, and reach for Olivia, pulling her in for a group hug. "Friends here, Mommy," Noah mumbled.

"I know, sweet boy. Did you meet everybody?"

"Uh-huh. We haved snacks." Noah pointed to the table.

"Thanks for getting all of that ready." Olivia winked at Sarah and Brooke.

Captain Cragen stepped forward and shook Ed's hand, "Ed, Liv, you have a beautiful home."

"Thanks." Ed shifted Noah to his left hip. "We like it."

"Yeah," Olivia added, "We had to do a lot of renovating, but it's worth it."

Noah's eyes widened. "Wanna see my room?" He asked.

Cragen smiled and looked at Olivia.

"You're going to show Captain Cragen your room?"

Noah nodded, then furrowed his brow. "Daddy Cap'n."

"So is he."

"Ohhhh," Noah replied.

"Gonna show him your room, bud?"

Olivia patted Ed's back appreciatively. Encouraging anyone to enter their private spaces seemed out of his comfort zone. Nevertheless, he put Noah down and Cragen and Olivia followed the little boy.

Sarah came up and hugged Ed. "How's Livvie, Daddy?"

"As well as can be expected. Tough day." Ed kissed Sarah's head, "But thanks for getting everything put together here. And for watching Noah."

"No problem."

"You and Brooke gonna stick around?"

"Not for long," Sarah eyed the crowd with mock disdain, "Getting a little too cop-ish in here for me. But Brooke looks like she's enjoying herself."

At the end of the dining table near the window, Brooke and Sonny stood close together talking softly and giggling with one another.

"Yeah, she does." Ed couldn't help but smile. He really liked Carisi a lot.

"And, let's see, well, I've met most of these people before," Sarah rattled off a few names, "Of course I know Amanda from the housewarming party. This is the first time I've met Nick. The Don guy, he's nice. He brought Noah that car." Sarah pointed to a vintage-looking NYPD cruiser resting on the table. "And we're waiting for who else?"

"I think Barba may stop by, their old ADA too. Maybe a couple others."

Noah, Olivia, and Cragen reappeared and Noah hugged Sarah's legs. "Hi Noey-Boey! Didja give the grand tour?"

"Uh-huh, we race trains. I winned!"

"You always win. You're the best train engineer and the best soccer player and the best brother!"

Sarah and Noah exchanged their playful "you da bests" until Sarah lifted Noah up and upside down and blew strawberries on his belly. Meanwhile, Olivia poured a drink for her and Tucker and called everyone together for a toast.

"Thank you, everyone, for being here and also at the service. I think we did Munch proud," she ran an index finger under her eyelid, "But, no more crying. Let's enjoy each other's company since I don't know when we'll all be in the same room again." She raised her glass, "To our friend Munch and to each other!"

After taking a sip, Amaro raised his glass again, "And to Liv and Ed for hosting. Thanks for letting us invade your space for a little while, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker."

"Our pleasure," Ed said with a genuine smile.

"Absolutely," Olivia added as Ed kissed her on the side of the head.

Noah wandered back into the middle of the adults and dropped something into Cragen's lap. "Dis p'lice badge."

Cragen held it up for inspection, "Wow!"

"Liv, remember when he first got it and he wore it into the precinct?" Rollins recalled the memory with a grin, "He was so adorable running around telling everybody he was police."

"Where'd ya get this?" Cragen asked.

"Daddy."

Cragen studied the badge more closely. "Your Daddy sure is a good guy." Even though he was speaking at Noah he'd turned towards Ed. "This badge is somethin' special."

Noah climbed on the couch to sit next to Cragen. "It say N-O-A-H!"

"Sure does!"

"Yeah," Amaro said, "Noah's gonna be out getting the bad guys when he gets older, right?"

"Yep! I have da badge, and…Mommy?"
"Yes sweet boy?"

"I have da tie?"

"Want me to get your tie?"

"Yes peese."

"Gosh he's polite," Rollins marveled. "You don't even have to remind him."

"He's a good kid," Ed agreed.

Olivia returned with one of Noah's ties and he slipped in on. "See? I p'lice!"

"You don't wanna wear a uniform?" Amaro asked.

"Nope," Noah retorted assuredly, "Daddy wear tie an' badge to p'lice."

"Well, Tucker, Liv, looks like you have a future cop on your hands," Cragen remarked.

"Just stay out of IAB, Noah! Stay clean!" Rollins joked.

At first, the room fell silent while everyone waited for Tucker's reaction. Olivia waited for his face to redden and his jaw to clench, but a wry smirk formed on his face. "No son of mine is gonna be a dirty cop. Right, bud?"

"I get dirty at soccer game, Daddy!"

The conversation shifted momentarily to soccer before Noah got bored with the adults and begged Sarah to play with him in his room. She happily agreed, feeling a little out of place among Olivia's old friends. Emboldened, Amaro and Cragen took a few more playful shots at Tucker who endured the ribbing good-naturedly. It helped that Olivia was beside him with her arm looped through his, holding him close.

The gathering wound down without a visit from Casey Novak who'd attended the service but also had friends to see and a late train to catch. Brooke and Carisi departed first, headed for a nightcap at a local bar. After making sure her nanny could stay late with Jesse, Rollins asked if they wouldn't mind if she and Sarah tag along. They didn't, so the four of them bade farewell and headed out.

"Whew," Amaro huffed, "Long day. Draining."

Cragen agreed, "This'll take a while to process. I'm just glad Munch was…that he got out there and did things. I was worried he'd spend the rest of this life writing conspiracy theory op-eds for the Daily News."

"There's more to life than SVU," Olivia murmured. Noticing Cragen's and Amaro's quizzical expressions, she explained, "Munch found that out. He mentioned that the last time I saw him. It seems like…cops, or, SVU cops, have a hard time coming to that realization."

"Not you, Liv," Amaro pointed out, "You're still there, and now you're a mom and a wife and, from what I hear, one of the most respected commanding officers in the city."

"It wasn't easy figuring out how to balance it all."

"That's why it's so hard to do," Cragen said, "But I'm proud of you, Liv. I feel like I've seen you grow up. And I have to admit, there were times I was worried about you." Cragen shot a quick glance at Amaro. "You too."

Amaro grinned sheepishly, "At times, deservedly so."

"So it makes me happy," Cragen continued, "Like I imagine a father would be happy, when he knows his kids are gonna be okay."

Olivia reached over and squeezed his hand.

A wry smile formed on his lips. "I didn't, however, ever in a million years factor Tucker in to all of this."

Olivia let the joke roll off her back, "Everyone's favorite mystery. And, for the record, neither did I."

"Well, it seems that everyone is where he or she is supposed to be. And I should be back at the hotel. Have an early flight back home tomorrow." Cragen stood up.

"Yeah, Liv, I'm gonna take off, too."

"Okay. Let me go get Ed and Noah."

Olivia found them in the master bedroom. After being praised for his good behavior, Noah erupted into a mini-tantrum when he was denied the right to put on his cleats and kick the soccer ball around the house. Ed wrangled him and they were now reading a book in the oversized easy chair.

"Cragen and Amaro are leaving," she announced softly.

"Alright. Let's say goodbye, bud."

Noah sniffled a little and refused to make eye contact with his mother until Olivia reached out for him. "C'mere, sweet boy. Give Mommy a hug. I love you."

"Lubbyou," he mumbled into her neck.

Back in the living room, Ed, Cragen and Amaro exchanged handshakes and friendly slaps on the back. Cragen moved to shake Noah's hand, but the little boy lifted his arms instead, requesting the Captain to pick him up. Shock registered on Cragen's face as Noah squeezed his neck and whispered, "Bye Cap'n."

"Bye, Noah," Cragen replied weakly.

"Thank him for the car," Olivia prodded.

"Fank you."

"You're welcome."

Cragen hugged Olivia tightly. "Great job with the planning and everything today, Olivia. And thanks again for having us. This was fun."

"Thank you for coming. And, let's not be strangers."

"It's a deal."

"Mommy!" Noah tugged at Olivia's pant leg, "I show Nick da trains?"

"I have a few minutes if that's okay with Mommy," Nick said.

"Sure, come on."

The three of them went back for yet another train demonstration, leaving Ed to walk Cragen out.

"Time's your flight tomorrow?" Ed asked, filling the awkward last few moments with small talk.

"Seven."

"You're probably anxious to get back."

"Always."

Ed thought about the word and how often he used it with Olivia. "Thanks for being here today, for Liv, it was good for her to have this time with everyone."

"Good for me, too."

"Yeah."

"Tucker, I don't need to say this, but I feel like I have to."

Ed tensed in anticipation.

"But, take care of her. She's been through hell and back a few times. And she tries to handle everything on her own."

"I know. She knows she doesn't have to do that anymore."

"Well, keep reminding her."

"Absolutely."

Cragen shot him an appreciative smile.

"So long, Tucker."

And then he was gone.

…..

After tucking Noah in bed, Ed and Olivia cuddled on the sofa. They turned off all lights save for a dim side lamp and gazed at the nighttime sky.

"I'm so exhausted," Olivia said, "but I don't want to go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"This feels so good."

Ed tightened his embrace, "Gotta take extra care of you tonight."

Not too long ago, a comment like that would've annoyed Olivia, but now she simply let herself sink more deeply into Ed's arms. "Thank you for not freaking out today."

"When?"

"All the IAB jokes."

"To be expected."

"I guess."

"Why didn't Stabler show up today?"

"He was there."

"I meant here."

"I didn't invite him."

Ed was surprised, "Why not?"

"Amaro, Rollins, and Carisi don't know him. At the wedding…he was so quiet, remember? Kathy did most of the talking. And I didn't want things to be weird."

"You mean because of me?"

"Not completely. Ed, when he left SVU, it was like a piece of my heart was ripped out. And he made such a clean break, didn't really keep in touch other than Christmas cards and graduation announcements. I offered, several times, to meet, to talk, to get some closure, but he moved on and didn't want to dig up the past…after all those years as his partner, he couldn't bring himself to really say goodbye. It was painful, and I've forgiven him. I'm over it, but I didn't want to drag him back into my life for a few hours today."

Ed nuzzled her neck. "Didja at least talk to him at the service?"

"He came over and made a donation and we talked for a few minutes."

"Everybody got their time with Benson at the donation table," Ed teased.

"Not you," she retorted, "You just stood on the other side of the room brooding."

"Nah," Ed protested, "Just watchin' you move. I love watching you move."

Olivia smiled and a pleasant silence engulfed them for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"I can't believe Munch is gone…and I never got to say good bye."

Ed replied gently, "At least…he got to meet Noah, got to see you as the Lieutenant…knew SVU was okay and you were okay. More than okay."

"Yeah. I really am more than okay, aren't I?"

"Yes you are, Liv."

"And I have you to thank for that."

"Not only me."

"Mostly you." She shifted so she could see his face, "Big, bad Captain Tucker turns out to be the knight in shining armor."

Ed played coy. "I'm just glad you gave me a chance."

"Me too," she slithered up his body for a kiss. "Me too."

….