CHAPTER NINETEEN

I intended to get this out to you much sooner than this, apologies. It is the final chapter before the epilogue.

When Jane enters the morgue again she finds a body covered up on the table with no sign of the Chief Medical Examiner anywhere. She turns around and heads towards Maura's office. That is usually where the paperwork is; perhaps Maura is finishing it up. Jane pushes open the door only to find another room with no Maura Isles. She goes through the files on the table searching for the report she came looking for, but when she finds nothing she leans against the table and sighs. Her gut is flooded with a feeling she cannot name or explain, but it is drowning her from the inside out and it takes everything she has in her to pull herself together and stand straight when Suzie walks into the room.

"Detective, Dr. Isles had to leave," Suzie comes forward holding out a file in her hand, "She left this for you."

Jane looks over the name. "Thanks, Suzie."

"Are you okay? You look a little pale."

Jane nods with a small smile. "It's just been a long day."

"Dr. Isles said something along those lines."

"It's a rough case."

"Of course" Suzie offers her an understanding smile.

Jane moves to leave the office, but she stops her. "I don't think she went home, Jane."

"What do you mean?"

"She didn't look too good."

Jane nods. "Do you know where?"

Suzie shakes her head.

"Thanks, Suzie." She holds up the file. "Better get back up there."

Jane taps her foot against the floor of the lift. Her finger twitches. There is a panic in her chest that has nothing to do with the report in her hand. She rushes over to Korsak's desk as soon as the lift doors part.

"It's him. We got him." Jane drops the file on the table.

"Okay, let's go get the son of a bitch then."

"Actually, I was hoping I could sit this one out." Jane fidgets with her fingers.

Korsak looks at her, his forehead folding in concern. "Hey, if something is wrong you can always talk to me."

"I know. I just have something I need to do if that's okay."

He nods. "Okay then. We'll head out."

Jane knows where to go look for Maura. After all, she has found the other woman on the bridge more than just that one time since she came back. Every time Jane thinks of that one time, the first time, her chest contracts and she can swear it is her heart shriveling up inside. She grits her teeth. She remembers the feeling flooding her gut sharply in her mind. It was sheer terror with a tinge of helplessness. She had rushed over to find Maura standing against the railing and had assumed the worst. It had taken Maura a whole twenty minutes to calm her down and assure her that she wasn't going to jump. The bridge was merely a great spot to watch the sunset.

Jane drives over and finds Maura in almost the same spot she is in every time. She walks up and pauses behind her. The sun is low and as it sinks the sky is flooded with a darker and darker shade of orange that is reflected in the water. She has always loved watching the shades melt into each other. There is something about these moments that calms everything inside her. Her body relaxes and she understands completely why Maura likes this spot. It is perfect.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Maura doesn't have to turn around to know that it is the detective standing behind her.

Jane looks at the way Maura's hair catches the fading sunlight. Her hair flows in the wind and yet remains flawless. She stands with a large khaki shawl draped around her shoulders, dressed in one of her less fabulous, runway-ready attire: a simple cream blouse and beige pants, but she still looks as exquisite as the day Jane fell for her. Jane nods, "Yeah, beautiful."

"Don't you have a killer to go after?"

Jane doesn't say anything for a while. She stares at the setting sun and Maura doesn't turn around to look at her.

"Why?" She finally says. And her voice is worn down with the weight and desperation of her breaking heart.

Maura bites her lip. She didn't expect it to be easy to shrug Jane off. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jane laughs dryly, "Too late for that, Maur."

"Why now? When there was so much time before, why have you brought this up now, Jane?" Maura turns to face her. "It's not like this is something new."

Jane doesn't mention the kiss.

"So you admit this is something."

Maura rolls her eyes. "This has always been something."

"Then why are you fighting it?"

"Because, Jane!"

"Because what, Maura? What is it that you are so terrified of?" Jane lets go of the restraint that wouldn't allow her to raise her voice in the morgue.

"Something inside me broke in that basement and I don't know how to put it back together again, Jane. I feel like I'm broken. Why would you want someone who is broken? It is irrational. Especially when someone like Caitlyn is right there and clearly likes you quite a bit." Maura shrugs to mask her vulnerability.

"Because no matter how wonderful and amazing Caitlyn is, she isn't you, Maura, she isn't you. And she never will be." Jane takes a step closer, "I told her that. I don't think I can ever love anyone that way that I love you."

Maura backs away. "I don't want you to love me, Jane."

"That isn't going to change. And nothing you say will change that." Jane shrugs. "The question is do you love me?"

Maura doesn't answer for a moment that seems to stretch on for an eternity. The sun has sunk into the horizon before she finally pulls together the courage to voice what she has wanted to say for years.

"Enough to let it consume me entirely"

"That's all I need."

Maura nods. She can have this. She can have Jane. She knows how bullheaded the detective can be and now that she knows the feelings exist both ways she will never let it go.

"I love you, Jane Rizzoli. I have always loved you." Maura takes Jane's hand into her own.

"I love you too, Maura, with everything I have." Jane smiles.

"Little bit ridiculous how cheesy the setting is, don't you think?" Jane chuckles.

Maura laughs.

"Did you plan it, Doctor?"

She shakes her head and pulls Jane in with one hand on her waist and the other tangling itself into her hair. She brushes her lips against the anxious pair. Maura pulls away and the look on Jane's face is enough to tell her this is the right thing to do so she goes in for a proper kiss.

Last one coming soon.