I do not own PPG nor the characters

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Chapter 6: Dawn has arrived

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Entry #51

I am a woman possessed. For the life of me, I cannot stop these urges any more. I find myself thinking about him more often than not these days, and horny does not even cover how I feel every time. It's been ongoing for at the very least, a month. I stopped writing daily because it had become my NEW routine. Nothing else was going on. I just kept.. Having to please myself. And now.. Now I can't even wait to get home. If I just catch his scent, or hear his smokey voice, hell, even seeing him fight.. Seeing the sweat drip down his neck.. It makes me want to lick everywhere, and then I can't do anything but try my best to get it under control before he notices.. I swear, he's like a dog. I know that if I get too close, he'll smell my desire, and that in itself is enough to make me stay as far away as possible. If I can avoid it, I will let one of my sisters deal with him, because.. I just can't anymore.

I admit it now.. At least to myself, that I have developed.. Some feelings for him. And I can't even pretend to focus on anything else. It's always him I see when I do this. It's always him that I wish I could take this lust out on. But that doesn't mean I can or should even try to make anything happen between us. It would be a mistake. And I would regret it all my life.. Probably. Maybe? I don't even know..

What the hell is wrong with me..? Not only do I feel like I'm cheating on Dexter, I'm starting to think about breaking up with him.. As if HE is the one doing something wrong. As if this is somehow HIS fault.. Is he? Is it? It's all so bewildering.. I feel guilty and I know when (it is no longer a question of if) I leave him, I'm going to feel even more so but.. Do I just.. Let it out? Is it even okay to feel this way? I just.. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I actually need guidance.. As if I'm not going to figure this out on my own.. What will I do..?

Chin up Blossom..

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"Finally! She's FUCKING getting somewhere." Brick yelled at the notebook while scrubbing a hand down his face. It had been a few days since he read the damn thing. He had become so lost after that last entry.. So consumed with need.. And he wasn't even sure what that need was.. That he just.. He went a bit overboard. He robbed the bank, twice in a day, alone, probably for attention, and only got a glimpse of Blossom before leaving the scene, baffling everyone.

She was standing there.. Just.. Being her bitchy.. No. That wasn't right. She was just being her, and Brick could barely hold onto his lust and anger. Anger at her. Anger at the potential other guy she may have been seeing at this point. Anger at himself for even FEELING anger.. And she just stood there almost.. Afraid of him. GOOD. You SHOULD be afraid.. Except.. Except she shouldn't be..

His brothers sure as shit noticed something was up, considering he quit smoking.. He hadn't taken a drag in about a month. And it was fucking hard sometimes. Especially when his brothers wanted to pry into his business, deliberately trying not to upset him, which pissed him off him more! Since he started reading Blossom's thoughts, however, Brick felt compelled to.. Quit. Even though he knew he was being ridiculous.. But reading her describing his habit as.. disgusting.. Made him feel. Well. Disgusting.

Sigh. Being a criminal was difficult. Brick picked up the notebook, and read where he left off.

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Entry #52

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to myself.

I finally did it. I broke up with Dexter. He didn't take it well. At first, he tried to convince me to stay with him, and that he would do whatever was needed to get me to change my mind. He even shed a few tears. But I stuck with my guns, feeling like a horrible bitch, and told him no. He asked if there was someone else, and I told him no, at least not the in the way he thought. It was one sided, and I would NEVER cheat on him. He clearly didn't believe me, and the rage he had in his eyes.. If looks could kill, I would have been slaughtered. Thankfully, I have super powers, and he knew that. But warning flags were still going off in my head, so instead of finishing the work I needed to get done for tomorrow, I rushed home.

It's been a long time since I've been able to get home before 10 PM. I'm glad I did. The moment I got here, I felt safe. And it sounds weird, but even though I feel like I'm being watched right now, or maybe because of it, I can barely wait to finish this entry so I can.. Take care of business.

I just need to admit it.. I'm in love with him. I don't know when it started, and I'm not sure what to do any more. Every time I see him, I clam up and try my best not to let my feelings show. Would he be mad? Would he even care? The hardest thing about it all, is that I have to keep pretending I hate him and try to ignore my body's reaction to his touch. Every time I try to apprehend him, I back off at the last second, and I know he has taken notice.. He hasn't taken advantage of it quite yet, almost as if he's testing his boundaries with me.

I can't help but wonder what it would be like to be loved by him. I'm not obtuse. I am completely aware of how sexy he is, and I always have been (it's no surprise that I finish that much quicker when I think of him). But now.. Now it affects my every day life. I don't want to hide myself any more.. I hate that I can't just be open about it to anyone.. God help me if he ever found out. Some how.. I know that if Brick knows the extent of my feelings for him, it will be the end of me..

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Brick closed his eyes along with the notebook, and gently set it down. He felt his heart beat slowly. Felt blood rising to his cheeks. He felt calm. For just one moment. He felt calm. Breathing deeply, he thought about the entire book. All of it. All the entries suddenly clicked, and he remembered those nights feeling watched. Remembered when, even after he stole the notebook, he felt eyes on him. He remembered why he started reading this damn thing to begin with. Because Blossom was acting weird.. Now he knew why.. But just what was he going to do about this?

For now.. He would just reread this. Over. And over. Until he could truly believe his eyes were not fucking with him. Until realization hit him across the face, and he knew this wasn't a joke. Until he couldn't find a single flaw in her words correlating with the behavior from before, and after all of this shit happened. Until the words on these pages were burned in his memory forever. Until that hope that, maybe, someone could give a shit.. That maybe, he and his brothers did have a chance at something other than desolation.. Until that FUCKING hope refused to die in his heart..

Until then.. He would just read. And read. And read..

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[Side note: Not to kill the vibe but.. He's probably also fapping now.. Just sayin'.]

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Yay! More reviews! I felt a bit compelled to get this hurtle out of the way, so that if anything else, we can see that now he KNOWS.

The next chapter is going to be from Blossom's POV! WOO WOO! However, it is sadly incomplete. But will be done by the LATEST, tomorrow. That being said, I haven't written past that, but I am on a train right now, so I am hoping to pop out at least a chapter a day.

(sad story) I lost my job, so I kind of have all day to write hahaha. I don't hope I stay jobless, but I hope it lasts a bit longer..? I kind of like having time off... ._. AHEM.

QUICK ALSO! I have been contemplating making either, side chapters, of Greens and Blues, or maybe side stories, just so everyone wins! Which, initially, I wanted to just go into a backstory from Brick's POV of what happened to Boomer.. But I feel now that it would be more appropriate to show from Booms... :( It will obviously not be a happy story and or chapter, but I will try to make it better.

lala and Zah-Zah (HA!) helped me with this decision, but I would like a concrete answer or just input from EVERYONE!

Question: Side stories? Or side chapters? (greens/blues)

Anyway! Thanks again for reviews! I get excited with just one, so if you feel compelled to leave a little note, please do! :D

It helps me pop these out quicker! Apparently.

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Is it too soon to say Love you..?

*whispers to computer* loveyou..