Author's note: A very special thank you to mynameissouix for her legal expertise. If I'm ever in trouble with the law, I hope I can log onto FF to get your counsel!
APOV
"Annie, you sure you want to go out for breakfast? I'm fine staying in."
"Dad, I want to go out. I need to go out. I can't stay here in this apartment all day. Plus, I want a Greek omelet and we don't have any feta."
With a huff Ray pushes down his sunglasses and extends his arm to me. Sawyer and Prescott are both on today since Hyde's arraignment is scheduled for an hour from now. I watch them 'mobilize' now that I've decided to go out, speaking into their watches and tapping away on their phones. All this for some eggs.
I'm a bit disappointed, actually a lot disappointed that Christian has gone into GEH today but there was a fire aboard one of his ships last night in the Sea of Japan that pulled him out of bed at four and had him at GEH by 4:20 with a team of experts on a fact finding mission.
I downplayed my despair at his having to leave but even at four am he could tell I was upset. It was then that he informed me that my father would be here by 8:30 and that he was staying for the day to attend the Mariners game with us that night. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the last thing I wanted to do tonight was go to a baseball game so instead I poured him a tomato juice for the road, walked him to the elevator and went back to the bed alone and brooding.
Within a half hour of Ray's arrival we're seated at an outdoor table at Americana's, drinking coffee and orange juice as if there was nothing wrong in our world. Outside I look put together in an expensive cream fitted pencil skirt with matching shirt. As much as I hate shopping, I concede that Carolyn Acton is worth her weight in gold, I feel awesome in this outfit. Fake it 'till you make it, right?
Inside though, it's a whole other story. I'm struggling to maintain my new 'nobody but me controls my emotions' determination but today just may break me. According to Carrick, even with the revelation about my freckles and the willingness on my part to provide an actual photo of my back, Hyde still plans to plead not guilty. He continues to assert that our relationship was consensual and physical and that the reason he was on his way to Aspen was at my behest because Christian was holding me against my will.
I'm not concerned he'll get off. I'm concerned they'll think he's crazy and institutionalize him for a few years only to let him lose on the streets again. None of his victims will testify that the sex was not consensual even after being approached with evidence that would back their claims. Christian said that only one of the women considered pressing charges but that she had ultimately declined. Whatever he threatened them with, it was powerful enough for them to fear him from behind iron bars.
At ten of ten a familiar black Audi SUV stops at the curb and out comes my beautiful boyfriend. Black suit, black tie, black shoes, slicked back hair, Aviator sunglasses on. Whatever potential business he's got on the table today won't know what hit them. My heart soars when I see him.
"You didn't think I'd not be here for this did you?" He chides, placing a chaste kiss to my cheek before brushing a tear away from my cheek. "Don't cry, baby." One last hot tear falls, victim to the tender way he calls me baby and the gentleness of his touch. "Ray, thanks for coming up."
"Anything for my Annie." The waitress brings him a menu which he waves off, ordering a toasted blueberry muffin, no butter, and a black coffee. On the table our phones sit face up with the ringers on so that we can learn the news right away.
"Ana, I'm going to ask Luke to join us for this." Luke. Christian called him Luke. Of course, this is about him as well. The forgotten victim. I vow not to allow that to happen again. When Sawyer refuses to order food Christian orders him an egg white omelet and fruit.
Nobody speaks much other than to hear the little bit of news Christian has learned about his ship. There's no indication of sabotage, in fact it appears as if the captain ran onto an unmapped sandbar but the environmental damage could be great if the oil that spilled isn't contained. More concerning is the relationship Christian has worked so hard to cultivate between his Chinese and Japanese shipping executives. The ship is a Chinese ship, transporting Chinese goods, manned by Chinese employees. It took months of negotiations and ultimately Christian flying out and working out a deal for them to use Japanese waters. For this to happen and now threaten that fragile new relationship has got to be extremely stressful.
Already Ros is on her way over with one of the ranking members of GEH's public relations team to keep the story out of the press. Ideally he'd fly out now to bridge the gap between the Japanese Government and the shipping company and also deal with the environmental fallout should there be any but he's refused, citing personal reasons. Also known as, me.
At 11:22 Christian's phone rings. Before the sound dies, he's answered it with a gruff, "Grey." Monosyllabic yes and no's are all I hear until he bangs his fist hard enough on the table to spill two glasses of water that were fortunately mostly empty.
"Thank you…you'll keep me informed about his move then… and what about the…no, I haven't…thank you again."
"He plead not guilty. Kept with his same story. The judge will set a trial date within the next 30-60 days which gives us plenty of time to get you ready, baby." I don't miss the look that passes between the three men at this table though. There will be no trial, of that I'm sure.
"Bail?" Ray spits out.
"$500k since he's considered a flight risk." Christian rolls his neck around a bit, one hand tugging at his hair. "There is no way in hell he'll come up with the cash to get out. Either way I'll have Welch put someone on ensuring he stays in jail." I don't know why but I start to laugh much to the confusion and distress of everyone else.
"Ana?" Is this what it feels like to crack? Or is this what it feels like to start healing? To think you're at the end of an ordeal only to find out it's just really getting started? Well that's just one unfair mind fuck. "Ana?" Ray says again, clearly concerned with the unnatural giggle I can't seem to stop.
"You guys, the three of you. And Taylor of course. I've got my own goon squad." Christian runs one finger over his eyebrow in amusement, Sawyer crosses his arms and Ray coughs.
"Goon Squad?" Sawyer says, smiling in spite of himself.
"Yeah, goon squad."
"I don't know what you mean baby girl." But one look at Ray and I know he's lying. I give Hyde a week if that. I've got three ex-military and an overprotective, overly aggressive, overly territorial boyfriend on my team. I win.
"Nothing, I don't mean anything." I take a long sip of orange juice to get myself under control. "I'm just really grateful to have you all, that's all I'm saying." Sawyer huffs and picks up his phone which is now ringing along with mine. This would be our victim advocates calling to let us know what happened.
Sawyer answers with a gruff 'hello' and says nothing else, just listens and then hangs up, eyes on me the entire time.
"You gonna answer that, Annie?" Ray watches my phone vibrate on the table between the glasses of juice and mugs of coffee.
"No. I don't want to hear it again." He nods once, wipes his mouth on a napkin and leans back with a grin.
"What do you want to do today, Annie? And if you need to work, that's fine. I have a few shops I want stop in and a tip on a good fishing spot about 45 minutes from here. You let me know."
With conviction that I'll fake until it's real I square my shoulders and flip my hair, picking up my fork as casually as I can. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
"I need to work if possible. I'm swamped and with Missy out on her honeymoon, it's really piling up. Matt said he and Eliza were there until nine o'clock last night."
"You're really taking off with this business of yours. Makes me so proud."
"Aw, thanks, dad. It's been a really great first year but I'm not a fool. I know to strike when the iron's hot. So why don't I work and then we can all meet up at the stadium for the game. We'll get hot dogs and nachos for dinner."
"Ah, no we won't. I'll have Gail pack us something."
"You can't bring in food to a stadium, Christian." He just laughs, finishes his muffin and brushes his hands together.
"You can if your name is Christian Grey and you own a good deal of Seattle. Trust me, I'm allowed to bring in my own shit. Come, I'll drop you off on my way back to GEH so Ray can take your car."
Once I'm safely ensconced in the back seat he shuts the door and turns to Ray who is standing on the sidewalk with Sawyer and Taylor. I don't need to hear what they're talking about to know that it's about Hyde and about how to deal with him. All four have tense jaws and shoulders but it's Sawyer who looks the most furious.
He shakes Christian's hand and then Ray's before getting into the front seat.
"You OK, Luke?"
"I'm fine, Ana, thank you." He half turns, swinging his arm over the backseat so he can see me. "You?"
I shrug and look out of the window at my dad and Christian who are still talking with Taylor. "Numb."
"It's almost over, just hang in there a bit longer."
Christian slides in and hits the privacy screen, pulling me onto his lap to stroke my hair. Normally he'd be freaking out about me not wearing a seatbelt but he makes no mention of it even when we pull into traffic.
"Ana, there's something more you need to know that I just found out from Welch. At the courthouse this morning were a few other arraignments. One of them was a well followed case and a few members of the press were there to cover it. Naturally they heard your name and mine as well and they've latched onto this now. We kept it as contained as we could for as long as we could but I'm afraid we can only play defense at this point."
The press. How could I have not thought about them finding this out?
"I think now would be a good time to take a look at that office of Elliot's. Maybe we can have a crew move you over the weekend while we're away and then we can spend Monday getting you situated before I leave for London."
"I forgot you were leaving." My heart just crumbles at the thought of being here in this storm alone. How can I possibly do this without him? He sighs and presses his face into the crook of my neck, his voice becoming soft and gentle.
"You can always come with me. I've shortened the trip as much as I can, maybe you can bring some work with you so you don't fall far behind. I really don't want you dealing with this shit when I'm halfway around the world."
"No, I'll be fine. I just don't want to talk about it. Maybe I'll have a girls night or something at the apartment."
"Will it smell like guacamole when I get back?" He chides, tugging on a curl and then kissing my temple. His hand is making small circles on the outside of my thigh where he's holding me tight and for the first time since we met, I'm pressed against him and he doesn't have an erection.
"Jacqueline is so excited to go, she's never been out of the country. Do you think she'll be able to see anything while you're there? Will you be doing any touristy things?" He scoffs and kisses me again.
"No. I have meetings lined up 16 hours each day and dinners and cocktail receptions to attend at night. This shit is torture for me but it's necessary. She'll need to spend her days working but she's not required to go to the social events." With a pat on my back he slides towards the door. "Stay close to me, Sawyer will push through the crowd. I'll get you settled in and then head back to GEH."
"Oh my god."
Outside of my office there is a crowd of paparazzi vying to get close to the car. Taylor points at Prescott who arrived before us and is holding the door to the building open. She nods once and speaks into her watch. Taylor opens the door but Christian doesn't put me down. Instead he carries me, bridal style, right up to the door. Sawyer shoves people away from us left and right while Taylor flanks us. Me? I just keep my face buried in Christian's chest and hold on.
Once inside we take the elevator with the team while Prescott stands guard at the elevator. Nobody without prior clearance can get anywhere in the building, an issue that is quickly becoming a real problem for the other tenants. Ryan opens the door to my office where Matt and Eliza are wide eyed staring at the scene below them on the sidewalk.
"Ana, I had no idea." Matt starts but Sawyer holds his hand up to stop him. Christian walks me right into my office and shuts the door with his foot, depositing me on my chair before running his hands through his hair. He's pacing back and forth in the small space.
"You've got to move, Ana, this is crazy. I can't leave you here with those assholes outside. I knew it would be bad but…that…that was insane."
"I'll move. Call Elliot and tell him I want out of here. It's too small anyway." He stops pacing, turns to me and smiles that big enigmatic smile of his that makes my heart skip two beats. His phone is out of his pocket in a nanosecond.
"I'll call him right now. In the meantime, you are not to leave this office for any reason. Sawyer, Ryan and Prescott will stay with you. I may send over another guy too depending on what that crowd out there does." I must look like a deer in headlights because he comes to me and bends down so we're face to face.
"The only people that know we're going to the Mariners game tonight are the people going and our security so there should be no press there. We'll drink cheap beer, eat cheap hot dogs and shell a thousand peanuts."
"I just want to be home alone with you."
"We can do that then. I'll give my parents our tickets, I bet they'd enjoy it." The idea is tempting but I know Ray. Without me there, he's just going to feel out of place.
"No, it's ok. I think it'll be good for me to get out there and be normal. Maybe they can get us kissing on the jumbotron. And I thought you weren't eating hotdogs."
"Ana, if you told me to do the Macarena right now I'd do it if it meant making you happy. Tomorrow night, we'll have dinner in the library and watch a movie and I'll rub every knot of stress out of your body. We can fuck or talk or read or sing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' for all I care. Whatever you want to do, we'll do it."
"I want potatoes, brussel sprouts and spinach for dinner." He blinks three times.
"That's it?" I nod. "Can I have Gail make me a steak?"
"You're too cute, Christian. Of course! Can we watch 'Shooter'? I want a shoot 'em up kind of movie, no chick flicks or dramas."
"Baby, we can watch paint dry so long as you're not upset."
A soft knock on the door interrupts us. Eliza pops her head around the corner. I can see Devin's gotten to her a little because her frizzy hair is softer and smoother and I'm pretty sure she's got some gold on her cheekbones. I hope he doesn't change her entirely, her gawky awkwardness is endearing and part of the reason I like her so much.
"Ana, I'm so sorry to interrupt but the rep from Costa Mesa has been on hold for five minutes already for your conference call. I can reschedule if that's better but I need to tell him something."
"No, I'll take it. Eliza, this is my boyfriend, Christian." He stands, shakes her hand and turns back to me. I'm waiting for the normal near faint women seem to experience when they first see him but Eliza is totally unaffected.
"I'll pick you up on our way to the stadium. Gail will send over a change of clothes so we don't have to stop at home first. Be ready at six and in the meantime, just stay in. I'll let you know what Elliot says." He kisses me firmly on my lips and then tugs at my hair just a bit to tease before nodding at Eliza and walking out the door.
"I'm sorry. For what happened to you. It's all over the news. I…I'm sorry you went through that." With a drawn out sigh I stand and roll my neck.
"Thank you. It was minor compared to what some women experience. I just hope he never gets the chance to do it to someone else. I got lucky, not every woman does. Put the call through and come back in, this is an account you can take over and I'd like to introduce you."
"If you want I can teach you some karate." I raise my brows, one hand on the phone.
"You know karate?"
"Fourth degree black belt. I'm also a black belt in jujitsu and I just started taking Tae Kwon Do." Note to self, do not mess with Eliza.
CPOV
"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey, Welch and Barney are waiting in your office for you. I need you to sign these two documents for the Cardalli Morgan deal and Kristin Howard has requested ten minutes later today to go over a few questions she has for Feed The Nations. Oh, and Elliot called, he said he'd meet you first thing in the morning."
"Tell Ms. Howard I can give her whatever time she needs, that's a priority. Call Elliot and tell him eight am." Barney jumps when I open my office door, his skinny neck straining to try to catch a glimpse of Andrea behind me. Never going to happen.
"You first." I point to Welch.
"We did what we could to get the press out of there for the arraignment but at a certain point, there's just nothing we can do to hold them off. He was read his charges, he plead not guilty, his attorney requested a bail reduction which was denied and that was it. Standard cut and dry judicial bull shit. We're lucky we got Kavanagh to control the media as long as we did but even his influence only goes so far."
"It had nothing to do with luck." I mutter, tossing my suit jacket over the back of my chair. It had everything to do with favors and cold hard cash. "Who do we have on the inside who can get to him?" Welch moves his gaze to Barney but even though he's not security, there's nobody who knows more about my personal life than him. He trolls the internet and deletes shit for me all of the time, some of it true, most of it false.
"I've got a guard who can…deliver a message." My knuckles rap on my desk before I nod my head to Taylor who followed me in.
"Go for lunch with Taylor and work it out. Deal with this shit but not on Grey property. I want it over with by London. I want to bring in another CPO for Ms. Steele while I'm away too. If there are any fuck ups while I'm out of town, it's your ass. Let's use that guy that went with us to Dubai back in the spring, Raymond or Richards or something."
"Reynolds, Sir."
"Whatever. Get him, train him and make sure he's carrying." They clear out leaving me alone with Barney. Out of habit I check out his tie. Today it's Rocky the Raccoon.
"Ms. Steele received another request for lunch with Lillian." So not what I need to hear today and definitely not what I need to deal with right now so I brush him off.
"On Monday I'll need you at Steele Translations new office space. The movers will be bringing over her furniture and equipment on Saturday, I've got a security crew getting there Sunday to set her up but on Monday I'll need your team over there to get her tech up and running."
"Yes, sir. Anything else?"
"Send Andrea in on your way out." Seconds later she comes in, tablet in one hand, iced tea in the other. "I need Advil." Without a word she hands me three Advil's and the iced tea. This is why I can never let her leave.
"Call Rodier Flowers and have them deliver as many arrangements of peonies and hydrangeas as they can tomorrow afternoon. I want them all over the apartment but mostly in the library and our bedroom. Organize with Gail so that dinner is ready but the apartment is empty. I want it to be just me and Ms. Steele when we arrive home. I'll text her the menu. Get me Jose Rodriguez on the line and then get me Rosemary Navarette from the New York office. I feel like firing somebody and she's overdue. Oh!" I catch her just as she reaches for the door. "Get me a bag of Reeces cups and a thing of root beer."
"Mr. Grey, Mr. Rodriguez is on the line for you."
"Jose, how are you?"
"Good. Better than you I imagine now that the press has found out about this douchebag. What do you need from me?"
"Two things. First, I'd like to commission you to go to Monsanto and take pictures of any place Ana frequented growing up, places that she liked or that she spoke about fondly. Our designer will contact you and tell you where to send the photos when you're finished. And secondly, I thought maybe you could go to her office and just stay with her until I get there. She's got her security but I think she could use a friend and since you're coming to the game with us anyway…" My voice trails off with disbelief. I'm asking another man to go sit with Ana. Just as I'm about to tell him never mind he agrees.
"Not a problem. I wanted to get a poem I wrote Rachel translated into Gaelic anyway so I'll use that as my excuse."
He is not interested in Ana and she is not interested in him. This will be good for her.
I've spoken to Ana at least a dozen times since I dropped her off at one and each time she's sounded good. But I'm not a fool and I know my woman. Despite the front she puts on for the rest of the world, she's upset that this saga is continuing. I'm anxious to get to her and just be with her so I finish my day uncharacteristically early and tell Andrea and Jacqueline to go home before six much to their surprise.
Before I head out I change into jeans and a t-shirt throwing everyone from Andrea down to the front desk receptionist off. Taylor is close behind in jeans and a blazer. He'll never look inconspicuous but he does try when necessary. In the car I put on Maroon 5 since it's Ana's favorite band and open up the bag of chocolate.
The crowd outside of her office has diminished slightly but it still takes three CPO's and Matt to push her and Jose through. When they get in I move over so that she's in the middle, taking her hand and kissing her before the door even shuts. I know that of all the pictures they took today, the ones that will make the papers are the ones of me carrying her in earlier and of me kissing her just now and that's exactly what I want. She's with me, she's fine and she's taken care of.
"Hi you." She says softy. So sweet, so gentle.
"I brought you root beer. A&W and cold, just how you like it." She gives me one of those pouty smiles that says, 'you're so sweet' and damn if I'm not proud of myself. By the time we get to the stadium the three of us have killed almost all of the chocolate and Ana has confirmed, again, that she is not a singer.
"Ay dios mio, Ana. Shut up." Jose says over and over until finally, finally the song ends and Taylor shuts the music off. The girl can fuck like nobody's business but she can't sing for shit.
Ray, Elliot and Jose are watching the game, commentating on every play and arguing over the merits of each players salary while Kate and Rachel talk about some reality TV show they both watch. I have no idea who's winning or how the Mariners are doing because I'm focused solely on the brunette in jeans and a light blue t-shirt next to me. We've made it onto the jumbotron three times now and each time she'd wave and smile as if she didn't have a care in the world.
Over nasty hot dogs and beer and wine in plastic cups Ana tells me about her day as if it were typical. Not once does she mention Hyde or the now impending trial. I know my father spoke with her to set up a time for them to get together so that he could prep her for the witness stand but she makes no mention of it. Not even when Kate asks her about it directly does she aknowledge it. Instead she smiles and presses her lips together before looking at me to save her.
"You want to go home? Jose can catch a ride with Ray or my brother."
Kate takes the hint and pats Ana's leg before turning back towards the game. Ana's lets out a small puff of air and sags back into her seat, her hand finding mine to bring to her mouth for a kiss.
"I do but I don't want to leave Ray, I haven't really seen him today."
"Ana, he'll understand. Come one, we can take a long bath and just wrap ourselves around each other and relax."
"Tempting as that sounds, and it does sound tempting, I can't leave now. Besides, I haven't even had Cracker Jacks yet." Her smile doesn't reach her eyes but I know her mind is made up.
So we stay and cheer on the Marlins, eat three boxes of Cracker Jacks and drink a few more beers and wines when all we really want to do is go home and connect with each other. I love sex with Ana. I need sex with her, crave it all day long. But what I get out of it is so much more than the physical. It's the intimate connection with her that I need more than anything and I know she feels the same way.
When she and Kate leave for the bathroom Ray and I follow along with security. I hire the best but I'm still not leaving her side in a crowded venue like this. Ray orders a beer and then leans against the wall next to me while we wait for the girls.
"You got it covered, right? I don't want my Annie up on that stand." I nod once. "Because if you don't, I'm sure I can call my guy and get someone in there."
"It's covered." He relaxes and closes his eyes, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans.
"I've said it before but I'll say it again. Thank you for taking care of her. A father couldn't ask for anything better for his daughter. Happiness, health and safety." I'm waiting for him to ask me about the proposal but the girls come out just then. Kate is slurring her speech a bit and swaying but Ana is sober as a stone.
How one woman can make jeans and a t-shirt look so damn sexy I'll never figure out but watching her walk back to our seat, that ass swaying from side to side and then landing on my lap, perfection. When the game finally ends we say goodbye to everyone and walk to the SUV. I've got one hand tucked in the back of her jeans pocket just enjoying the feel of that firm flesh. She's doing the same to me, reveling in this little bit of connection that solidifies us as a couple to the outside world and puts on display our ownership of each other. I love it enough to let the few paps outside in the VIP area snap a few photos.
Ray shakes my hand hard, a knowing look passing between us. With Ana he's much more gentle, hugging her as if she were made of glass and then whispering something in her ear that makes her giggle and swat at his arm. Despite offering him the guest room for the night he wants to head home so that he can be at work in the morning and as much as I know Ana would like for him to stay, I'll admit I'm glad he's going home. I have no problem having sex with her if he's in the apartment but she may and anything that may keep her tight little body from me has got to go.
In the car she wastes no time, jumping on my lap and straddling me, holding my face and kissing me with barely pent up desire. I'm ready, there's no doubt about that but there's something in her kiss that's off. It almost feels like distance between us. A few seconds later and she pulls away, sits down and buckles herself in leaving me with a hard on and a bad case of the 'what the fucks'.
"Christian, why didn't you tell me Elena stopped by your parents' house?" She says it so unaccusingly that the guilt I'd felt for not telling her and not explaining it all once she found out doubles. I demand that she tells me every little thing that goes on in her day, demand that every person she interacts with is made known to me yet I keep her in the dark on something this important.
"I don't know. I just don't want to even talk about it, her, anymore." It sounds pathetic even to me. "I'm not making an excuse for keeping it from you but when Elliot told me we were rushing out to your class and then we went right to my parents. I didn't really have time to process it myself. To be honest, Ana, I didn't even think to tell you."
I expect her to be pissed, to yell, to get angry and close herself off but she does none of those things. Instead she watches me, her eyes dissecting me from the inside out.
"You're frustrated." I pinch my nose and pull at my hair but she runs her fingernails down one thigh of mine, tickling and calming me in one fell swoop.
"Understatement of the year. The whole thing with Elena…I was doing so well with it. Cutting her out of my life, seeing her for what she is, what she did. I had a plan of attack, take everything from her and then walk away from her forever. But nothing I've done, no amount of security intel has been able to get anything that will really stick to her and still, after all of the confrontations, all of the threats and legal action, she still won't leave me alone."
"I should have told you as soon as Elliot told me but I couldn't. I was so angry that I would have taken it out on you. You saw the way I treated my parents on Sunday, that would have been on you. I know my limits and I'm at it when it comes to her."
"Christian, she's still trying to control your emotions and your response to her. When she couldn't have you as a sub she became yours so that she still had influence over you, you just didn't see it. What do you call that?"
"Topping from the bottom."
"Right. Then when that ended she controlled you still by intertwining you in her business and being the one to choose your subs. She's always used your love for your family to control you with fear and self-loathing and now that she's got none of those options, she's doing what she can to infiltrate your life in any way possible." Her fingers tap on my knee while her teeth worry her bottom lip. I know what she's going to say and I'm sick about it.
"It's time I met with Lillian. I'm ready, Christian. The way you feel about Elena is the way I feel about Hyde. You're helping me with him, let me help you with her."
"Ana…I don't know."
"Has Taylor found anything on her that is dangerous?"
"No."
"Was she ever crazy when she was with you?"
"No."
"Then what is it you're worried about?"
"Ana, I fucked her. I spent a good portion of six months with her tied up while I whipped and caned her. I about lost my shit when I saw that fucker Clayton talking to you and he hardly touched you. What happens when you sit across from her and those images assault you? Will you want to come back to me? Will you run from me? I can't risk that. I'd rather deal with Elena for the rest of my life than lose you."
"Christian, I'm well aware of what you did with those women." No, actually you're not. "I don't like that you were with other girls, I don't like that they've known you intimately but I had to accept that and move past it to be with you. Do you think I haven't spent a good number of hours with Dr. Fischer working through that already? To me, you're not even the same person I knew four months ago let alone a year ago or however many years ago this all started."
"So you think you'll be ok sitting across from a woman I had an intimate physical relationship with? You don't think you'll find yourself resentful of me? Of what you may learn from her about our time together?" Because I can't imagine sitting with someone you've been with.
"Am I going to like it? I doubt it. Is it a means to an end and one I'll do to get there? Yes. You say all the time that you'll do anything for me and I believe that. Let me do this for you. For us."
"I can't risk you wanting to leave me, Ana. When I say it would destroy me, I mean it. To finally feel alive and then lose that? I can't do it. I need you in my life. Need, not just want."
"Baby." She whispers, crawling back onto my lap. "I'm not going anywhere. I have no intention of talking about what you did with her and visa-versa. And if it comes up, I'll leave but I know you have a past. I know it's dark and I know it's just that. The past."
"So...you're not going to interrogate her on the lifestyle anymore?"
"MmmMmm. Don't need to anymore."
Feminine softness squirms on my lap, the fear of losing her replaced by a raging need to consume her. Her lips are so sweet, so gentle on mine that it takes me a few minutes to realize we're sitting in a parked car in the garage at Escala.
"We're home." I finally grunt out when I catch my breath. Damn I love when she licks my neck like that.
"Take me upstairs and fuck me, Christian." She says with that husky whisper she gets when she's turned on. And as much as her talking like that makes my dick go crazy, more so when she guides my hands up to her breasts, it's not what I want.
"No." I whisper back. "I'll take you upstairs but I'm not going to fuck you. I'm going to make love to you, hold you close, soak you in, give myself to you entirely." Her body responds by wrapping itself around me when we step out, melting into mine so that her heat becomes my heat. Taylor holds the elevator open for us and then disappears to give us privacy. "I love you so much, Ana. So much."
APOV
He sounds desperate, almost pleading. For as far as he's come and as many changes as he's made, he's still that little boy unsure that he's worthy of love. I'm no psychologist but I'm pretty sure only time, lots of reassurance and the true end of Elena Lincoln is going to pull him off of that merry-go-round. I can give him time, I can give him reassurance, and if he lets me, I can help end Elena.
In our room he strips me of my shirt and bra while I remove his t-shirt and unbutton his jeans. There are times, like tonight, when I feel the full power of my sexuality. Christian likes to be in charge of every aspect of his life. He likes to order, delegate, demand, orchestrate and dominate but there are times when he's with me that he strips himself of all of that and lets his guard down. Times when he risks his own sanity and trusts me to love him and to care for him. When he talks about needing me, it's these unguarded moments he's referring to. He doesn't realize it, but I do. This is when he's just himself, the real him. Christian Grey stripped down.
"Lie down." I demand softly and his immediate obedience tells me all I need to know. With deliberate slowness I strip him naked allowing my eyes to drink him in. Each flex of his well-defined muscles distracts me but he's too far gone to notice. Instead his eyes flutter open and closed with each pass of my hands over his chest and abs. His hips involuntarily push upwards with gentle small thrusts when I take him in my mouth and hum around his cock. Under my hand his balls pull up tight and his thighs tremble.
"Stop, Ana, not like this." I don't want to stop but I do because it's what he needs. "Come here." That deep rasp turns me on as much as his touch does. "Turn around."
The pillow underneath his head gets flung off of the bed before he takes one of my legs, pulls it over his head and wraps his arms around my butt, pushing down so that I'm straddling his face. Oh my god. When his tongue strokes over my slit I fall forward and gasp. Under me he chuckles, sending jolts of pleasure with each vibration.
"Oh god, Christian…" It's all I can say over and over and over until he guides my hand back to his cock. Oh, right. Him. When I suck him back in he groans and bucks up almost gagging me but what surprises me the most is the enormous pleasure that I get from making him feel good at the same time he's pleasuring me. Literally the best of both worlds.
"Oh fuck, Anastasia. All the way back, baby." From this angle it's effortless to slide him down my throat. Over and over I take him deep and then pull off of him, gasping only long enough to catch my breath before doing it again. Each time he hits the back of my mouth his fingers dig deeper into my flesh.
Each suck of my clit between his lips pushes me closer to orgasm but when he adds his tongue and then slides one finger inside of me I cry out, the sound muffled around him.
His other hand grabs my ass and squeezes but he doesn't stop his amorous assault until I'm coming, my cries against his cock making him spurt down the length of my throat until he falls back, sweaty and boneless. With a light smack to my butt I flip down and over, wiping his face with my hand before kissing him.
"I like the mixed taste of us," He sighs, his hand falling away to lie against my shoulder. "I've been wanting to do that since you walked out of that room in yoga pants the first time. God, we are so fucking good together, baby. So good. Ana?"
"Mmmm." Tired, so tired, no more talking. Long fingers cup my nape, pulling me up just enough for him to kiss the top of my head and chuckle. I should get up and brush my teeth but that would mean leaving this bed and these arms and that's just not going to happen right now.
Each rise of his chest becomes smaller as he catches his breath until his breathing is slow, steady and deep. Lying there next to him, tracing the stubbled line of his jaw and chin, I see the vulnerability of the boy behind the man. Sitting down with an ex of his to put to rest the violence of his past is nothing. It's not even a sacrifice. It's a joy, an honor and one I intend to do despite his reservations. If having lunch with someone who he's been with is the cost of getting Elena Lincoln behind bars, I consider it a small price to pay.
Her aggressive and repeated appearances in his life have proven one thing. No matter how many times he pushes her away, she's going to come back. Her attempts to get his attention are getting more erratic and more personal and if I'm honest, are more damaging now than before. Involving Grace was perhaps the most drastic and dumbest move she's made so far. Her intention was to force the Grey's back into her life but what she did was seal her own fate.
I know far less about her than he does but if he thinks she's up to something illegal and we can use that to put her away, then I have to believe him. And if we have to use information from Lillian to figure out how to do that, then we have to take advantage of it. All I know is that I will do whatever it takes to get her out of our lives once and for all.
Before the sun begins to rise I wake to a soft nuzzle on the back of my neck, my name whispered in hot rushes of air. I answer with a moan which turns into a groan when he bends my legs and then lifts one, sliding hard, thick, heat into my sex.
Instantly he shudders and gasps my name followed by a sleepy, 'I love you so much'. The arm under my head finds my hand and holds it while his other grazes my hip before pressing against my mound.
"I can feel myself inside of you like this." Each small thrust is accompanied by a gust of warm breath on my bare neck, the sensation so erotic I begin to feel dizzy. "You feel so good, Anastasia. So unbelievably good."
"Christian," I whine, my left arm coming up to wrap around his neck. "I want you." Another whine.
"You've got me, Ana. Body, mind, heart, soul. All yours." His hand moves lower, two fingers separating my labia, his left leg lifting higher, spreading me wider. With his middle finger he circles my clit with gentle pressure until I'm gripping him with so tightly he can barely move. When my climax ends and my world stops pulsing he grabs my hip and tenses behind me, his teeth clamping down on the tender skin where my shoulder meets my neck as he comes silently.
The intimacy of sex in the pitch black of night heightens each sensation and each emotion. Through his body he speaks to me in a language that is ours and ours alone. This is a man who will love me forever. A man whose word is better than a contract and whose faithfulness I will never worry about. This is a man who has given away his heart to me with a blind trust he doesn't understand.
We speak no more words, we don't clean up, we don't even separate. We just drift back into our dreams, connected in body and soul.
On Wednesday morning we stop at Elliot's new building on our way into GEH. I'm happy that it's only a few blocks from Christian and even happier that it has underground parking and eleven floors. The top floor is rented out already as are a few others but Elliot brings us to the ninth floor where we'll move Steele Translations.
There are six smaller offices surrounding a 'great' room where I can house reception. The main office which will be mine is separated from the rest by two small atriums. Just like at GEH, the exterior walls are all glass which affords me a clear view of Grey House from behind my desk. Across the hall is a staff kitchen and break room along with an IT closet and records room. I couldn't ask for anything more.
"It's beautiful, Elliot." He beams with pride, locking up the IT closet before leading us back to the elevators. "What's the rent?" His blue eyes dart to Christian who purses his lips and then walks towards the door.
"Same as you're paying now. The utilities are probably higher but the rent's the same."
"Bull. I don't want a deal or a break, Elliot. I know how business works. What's the real rent?"
"Seriously. You'll be paying what you pay now. Your safety is more important than anything, Steele and judging by the crowd that followed you here, you need it." In other words, Christian is paying whatever the difference is. His generosity is one of the things he believes is good about himself so for me to deny him this would be detrimental.
"Thank you, I can't wait to move in." Christian walks back then, extending his hand to Elliot with a slight nod.
"You did a good job with the place. Barney will be over later today to get the notes from the electrical engineers and Welch will want access tonight for the system he's installing. When will the front desk guard begin employment?"
"Monday."
"And he'll be armed?" Elliot huffs and pushes the front door open, rolling his eyes when Christian's not looking.
"Yes, Christian. They'll be armed. And before you ask, yes, Taylor has checked them all out thoroughly and hand picked the four best for rotation."
On my desk at GEH is a stack of paperwork for the Chinese deal that has appeared over night. So much for a light day. Christian walks me in, sits me in my chair and then leans his fine ass on the edge of my desk, crossing his ankles while one finger runs over his bottom lip.
"This is Lillian's number." He goes to hand me a folded piece of paper but doesn't let it go even after I touch it. "You don't have to do this, Ana."
"Yes, I do. We do. This shit has gone on long enough. You told me yourself that anything they find on the identity theft and tax evasion isn't going to amount to much and if you really think she's still sleeping with underage boys, then we need to do this. I'll be fine."
With a serious tug of his hair he lets the paper go and covers his face briefly before standing and walking to the window. To anyone else he looks like a young billionaire CEO looking out over his minions with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his made to measure Armani suit. But to me, he's a troubled boyfriend who is on the brink of collapse.
"I'm only agreeing to this because she's involving my family, my mother to be specific. Now that she knows that they know, she's got nothing to lose by going after them. I know Elena and she will react to this. She will do any and everything she can to provoke my parents so that she can get to me. She loves the drama, loves the control emotional chaos brings." He turns, hands still in his pockets and offers me a small smile. "I want this over. I want this chapter closed forever. I need her gone."
"Then that's our goal."
A minute later my phone rings, a frustrated Matt on the other end. Christian kisses the top of my head and tells me he'll be ready for lunch at one.
"What's the matter?"
"In a word? Halen. He wants me to fly to Laos tonight for a meeting tomorrow night. I know I said I'd be available but after the triple meeting he dumped on me at the last minute last week, I'm beginning to feel like he's pushing to see how far he can get away with this."
"Are you unavailable to go? You know you don't have to, the contract says that he's required to clear all travel with me and that we require a two week lead with a one week lead on emergencies but if you can go, we're that much closer to reaching the end of this deal."
"I'm available but I'm afraid that if we continue to meet his ludacris time demands that he's going to expect more and more."
"Welcome to high finance corporate, Matt. If you can't go, you can't go but if you can, I'd appreciate it. He's willing to pay a thousand dollar per diem and cover all costs so fly first class, drink a lot on the flight there, stay in a suite and hire a driver."
"Ugh. My wife is going to kill me."
"That, well that I can't help you with." He groans and hangs up once we go over exactly what he needs to know for the trip. I'm pissed that Liam asked him directly since the contract states that everything logistical has to go through me first but I'm not sure how to approach him since the last thing I want is actual contact with him.
Despite Christian's misgivings about me working with Liam Halen, so far he's been respectful of the contract we have together and has also referred two more business associates to my company. No part of me trusts the man on a personal level but even Christian admits that his connections are proving very useful to me.
At one Christian appears in my doorway haggard and wary. I've heard the murmurs of a deal he's been working on with a company in South Dakota going south. Something about GEH's concerns over fracking and the long term ramifications. He attempted to explain it to me a few nights ago over a bottle of Prosecco but once he started using words like hydraulic and proppant I started counting in tens in Latin in my head. Got all the way to 980 before he realized I wasn't listening and laughed, threw me onto the dining room table and gave me a different kind of lesson on drilling.
"You ready to go?"
"I was thinking I'd call Lillian first, with you here, and then we could go get something to eat." He rolls his eyes, runs one hand over his face and closes the door.
"Yeah, because that's going to give me such an appetite." One long exhale, one run through of his hair and one nose pinch later and I dial her from the untraceable phone Taylor dropped off to me shortly after Christian left my office this morning.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Lillian?"
"Yes."
"This is Ana Steele, we met a few weeks ago outside of my apartment." You dumb shit, she knows who you are.
"Ana! I was beginning to think you weren't going to call! I'm so glad to hear from you."
"I know, I've been very busy with work and…things. Anyway, I wanted to know if you were still interested in meeting up for coffee. I don't know that I can finagle enough time for lunch but I can swing coffee for sure."
"Of course! That sounds wonderful. Do you have time today?"
Christian shakes his head furiously and then stands, walking to the window but facing me. 'Tomorrow' he mouths, taking instructions from Taylor who he's got on his phone.
"I can do tomorrow. What's a good time?" While she checks her schedule he scribbles the location he wants me to meet her at along with a time.
"How about 11am at Lighthouse Roasters?"
"Oh, perfect, I'm free until one and then I've got a board meeting. I'm looking forward to it, Ana. I'll see you tomorrow."
Before I have a chance to stow my new phone in my bag his hand has gripped my upper arm and pulled me to him so tightly I can't breathe. Sometimes, like now, I remember just how big and strong he is. My face is pressed up against his chest, unyielding, hard, rigid.
"I need you for so many reasons and for so many things, Ana. I hate, absolutely fucking hate that I need you for this." With one last inhale of his scent I pull back and lace my fingers behind his neck. Those eyes that I love so much are so intense that I momentarily forget what it was I wanted to say.
"I'm happy that you need me like this. I want this behind you, behind us almost as much as you do. I feel like we can't move forward until this chapter is closed. It's too painful, too unpredictable to allow it to fester any longer. We've got to do this, Christian."
"I know. I just wish someone would hit Elena with a bus and take care of this shit for us. Taylor is going to want to go over some things with you tonight. I know his daughter is coming tomorrow night so we'll need to debrief immediately after you leave there tomorrow instead of at the security run down."
And that is how, five hours later I find myself sitting in the backseat of the car being driven to Pilates by Sawyer while Taylor goes over protocol for tomorrow with me. Christian is sitting next to me, intently watching to make sure that I'm listening which is making me more nervous than I need to be. It does not escape my notice that while he holds my left hand he twists two fingers around where a wedding ring would be.
"You will change location to Seattle Coffee Works at 10:45. They're not far from each other but it gives us the element of surprise should she have someone in place to be there at the same time as you."
"Who? Lillian?"
"No, Ms. Steele, Ms. Lincoln. At this point, from the intel we've been able to gather on Lillian, it doesn't appear as if she's aware that there is an ulterior motive behind your meeting. As I was saying, you will arrive at 10:30, order your coffee and sit at the table Sawyer directs you to. You will sit with your back to the wall so that we can get to you from all three sides and have a clear exit point. At no point are you to use the restroom or answer your phone. Instead you will ask the questions we'll give you tonight and you will avoid as much personal information exchanges as possible."
"From her as well." Poor Christian really is afraid of what she'll say to me regarding their time together. My hand squeezes his but he doesn't relax even enough to blink.
"Once you ask the questions you will wrap things up and get into the SUV where a CPO and Mr. Grey will be waiting. You'll be wearing a wire but you'll need to communicate to us as many details as you can about Lillian's physical reactions to things. Body language is important for you to recall tomorrow. If at any point you feel threatened, in any way, you are to flip your phone over. We'll move in immediately."
"How many of you are there going to be? And where will you be, Taylor?"
"Outside on a bench next to the front door."
"Aren't you afraid she'll recognize you?" Or was he not around then?
"No, she won't know me. There will be three of us in the shop, another on the sidewalk and another in your car. I will be stationed on the sidewalk so that I can communicate with Mr. Grey at any point during the meeting and also be there should we need to get you out quickly. Ideally you will be in there for less than 15 minutes but we can concede to twenty."
At Pilates Christian resumes his place in the observation room. Wide stance, arms crossed, eyes focused on me. I have to suppress a laugh when I notice him adjust himself when we do our fetal fives. Just to mess with him I do a few hip rolls and then throw in a two minute V-sit for fun. My class hates me but I know I've got one fan in the back.
Jared was, thankfully, in his office when we arrived and didn't emerge until a minute before class let out. He didn't seem surprised or intimidated to see Christian in the observation room. I held my breath when he walked over to say hello and let it out slowly when Christian turned and said hello back before resuming his watching of me.
Outside there are a number of paparazzi and a few rabid fans that follow me around town. I have fans. Like, actual people who want my autograph and want to take a picture with me. I find it bizarre and frightening as does Christian and his security team. I know Welch has already had two arrested for stalking even if they weren't quite there yet and he's run the back grounds on the other five that are always around. I personally don't see why a back ground check is needed, clearly they're nuts.
The paparazzi yell out questions that range from 'How's the baby' to 'When's the wedding' but when a reporter brazenly asks who was better in bed, Christian or the Prince, I know the night has taken a turn for the worse.
"Who the fuck asked that?" Christian roars, turning towards the crowd at the same time he shoves me in the backseat of the car. Taylor stands in front of him, quietly coaxing him towards the open door but Christian doesn't move. His fists are clenched, his face is red and the strained muscles of his back are evident even through his suit jacket. It's eerily quiet except for the sounds of cameras clicking and the whir of battery powered lights.
"Sir." Taylor says again, a bit more firmly and I realize that while his job is ultimately to protect Christian from harm, he also needs to protect Christian from himself. If someone should step forward to claim ownership of that particular question right now, they'd be stepping up to their own execution.
He looks at Taylor and then once more at the silent crowd and then climbs in, slams the door and yells, "Fuck!" as loudly as he can. Taylor is in the car and we're moving but Sawyer has somehow been left behind.
"Taylor, what about Sawyer?" When he doesn't answer I look to Christian who is silently brooding. I dare not touch him for fear of another outburst. "Taylor?"
"Just tell her god damn it!"
"Sawyer will remain behind to find out who asked the question and deal with them appropriately, ma'am." Oh.The advantage to Sawyer, 'staying behind', is that there are hardly any paps that have been able to follow us to Krav class.
I was nervous and a little excited to show Christian my skills at Krav Maga but now I'm just plain anxious. Eyal greets me as usual with two kisses to the cheek and a brief hug. Behind me Christian growls. Eyal ignores him entirely.
"Ready, Anastasia? Good. Let's go."
I no longer have to recite what happened to me, thank god. If Christian had to sit through that right now he'd surely have a coronary and Eyal would surely get fired. Instead I sneak glances at him in the corner, his phone to his ear almost the entire time but his eyes on me. At the forty minute mark Sawyer arrives, no worse for the wear and changes into his workout gear. I'm shocked that he's so brazen about sparring with me in front of Christian but nobody bats an eye.
Instead he comes at me harder than ever before, swiping at my legs and taking me down on his third go round. His entire body covers mine and I half expect him to go flying across the room, thrown off by a jealous boyfriend but nothing happens. Instead I twist, reach back and flip myself over top of him, landing a pretend chop to the bridge of his nose as my knee lands a pretend kick to his groin. I win. But barely this time.
"You've been taking private lessons!" We're sweaty and breathing heavy on the mat, bottles of water empty by our heads.
"Of course I have. You think I'm going to continue to let myself get beaten by a girl? A little one at that?"
Eyal is speaking with Taylor by the door while Prescott checks in and announces that there are only nine people outside and that the car is ready and waiting by the door. Christian walks over, extends his hand to me and pulls me up, swatting me on my ass when nobody is looking grinning from ear to ear.
"That was hot as shit, baby. I should sic you on the scum outside instead of Sawyer. They wouldn't know what hit 'em." Sawyer stands and hands me my hair tie that had somehow fallen out. "Nice work back there." Christian says and shakes his hand, pulling me under his arm and then walking me to the car.
"What did he do? Did he find out who the guy works for?" He snorts and pops a piece of gum in his mouth. I've never seen him chew gum before. It's…sexy. He even chews gum sexy. Oh brother, Steele, get it together.
"Worked for. He can't work if his camera is smashed and his fingers are broken."
"You didn't."
"No, I didn't. Sawyer did. And before you go spouting off about how violence isn't a way to solve anything, let me remind you where you just were. Sometimes you need to get your hands dirty."
"Are you still angry?"
"Not with you if that's what you're alluding to. But am I angry? Baby I'm boiling right now. I've got enough rage inside right now to bench 500 pounds. How dare he allude to you sleeping with someone else. How dare he put that rumor out there. How dare he speak to a lady like that."
Large warm hands grip my face while blazing gray eyes set me on fire.
"You. Are. Mine. And even though none of those fuckers will see it, I'm going to make sure you know it tonight. We are going to shower, eat, and then I'm going to massage you until you're so relaxed you forget your name. And then I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to remember anyone's name but mine."