34.

It never failed. Whenever Captain Tucker entered the squad room, both Fin and Rollins experienced a moment of trepidation before they realized that this was Tucker 2.0—the slightly less-threatening, non-IAB, Lieutenant's husband version. Today he strolled in sans Noah which now was unusual and he offered everyone a slight nod before disappearing into the Lieutenant's office. Rollins followed close at his heels.

"She's not in."

Tucker furrowed his brow and looked around as if he believed neither his eyes nor Rollins and muttered, "I'll wait."

"She went to a meeting…at One PP…those tend to last—"

Tucker took a seat on the sofa and pulled out his phone. "She'll be here soon."

"Can I getcha anything?"

"No thanks." Tucker replied without looking at her.

Rollins was only slightly annoyed by the snub. Tucker always maintained a serious demeanor at work and there was a possibility that he was here for a police-related reason. She shrugged and went back to her desk. A few minutes later, Carisi sauntered in with a soda and a box of leftovers and plopped down at his desk. "Anyone want this?" He asked, "It's some kinda curry…Indian…not bad, a little spicy, but…different."

"Indian?" Fin asked, screwing up his face, "Since when do you eat anything but Chinese or your mom's cooking?"

"Since he got himself a girlfriend," Rollins snickered.

Carisi shot her a funny look. There was a good deal of unresolved tension between him and Rollins. He wasn't sure if it was unresolved sexual tension or merely Rollins' reaction at being cast aside as second fiddle, but one day Carisi promised himself the two of them would talk about it. Now that she was the Sarge, he and Fin had been partnered most of the time and when Sonny wasn't on the job, he was usually with Brooke. Although, he did manage to see Jesse every once in a while, but those visits were getting further and further apart.

Carisi possessively slid the food to the center of his desk. "More for me then," he muttered.

"Why don't you offer it to Tucker?" Rollins teased and jerked her head toward Olivia's office. "Your buddy's in there."

Carisi stood up and ducked his head a little, trying to get a glimpse through the half-closed blinds. "Looks like he's on the phone."

"What's going on?"

Olivia appeared behind them, curious as to why all heads were pointed in the direction of her office.

"Hey, Lieu! Tucker's here."

Olivia brushed quickly past them while Carisi was still talking and, to the delight of Fin and Rollins, said nothing in response when he offered her the leftover Indian food. In her office she hung her purse on the coatrack and breathlessly asked Ed what was going on.

All she got in response was the Tucker smirk.

Clearly impatient and busy, Olivia sat behind her desk and ignored his silent flirting. She powered on the laptop and continued with work she'd started that morning.

"I really am here on business," he said after a few minutes.

Olivia peered at him over her glasses. "Really."

"Really."

Still not convinced, Olivia muttered a doubtful, "I'm listening," and continued typing.

"Do you remember a case…about four years ago…Henry Mesner?"

Olivia looked up at the ceiling and thought. Mesner. Henry. Yes. The ten-year-old who sliced his mother's hand with a knife and tried to kill his sister. She remembered. She also remembered the father being in denial about the true state of his son's mental health.

"Let me guess," she replied flatly. "They're claiming he's cured."

"They are. They want a hearing in family court so the judge can hear his psychiatrist's report. They're claiming him being held until he's eighteen amounts to cruel and unusual since…he committed his crimes while mentally ill."

"He's still mentally ill. Huang said he was one of the most concerning cases he'd ever seen. Doctor Huang. He's seen a lot."

"DA seems to agree, but, it would help if I could see whatever files you have on him."

"No problem."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Ed made sure to sound overly official, but he craned his neck to inspect the squad room and simultaneously reached to fully close the blinds. "Now, the next order of business is for you to come over here and close the door on your way."

Olivia smiled shyly and watched as he puckered his lips and casually leaned back with his arms splayed out along the backrest.

"Comfortable?"

"Very."

"You really think I'm coming over there?"

"Yes."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow, "And why's that?"

"I'm pulling rank."

"Oh?"

"Hey, Lieu! Captain! I—" Carisi froze when he saw his boss's face. She was clearly not in the mood for interruptions. He held out a hand, palm facing her, and apologized. "I'll come back later."

"We'll be right back," Olivia reopened the laptop and clicked a few times, "Tucker needs a file. Captain?"

Ed was having a hard time reverting to cop mode after he'd fully expected at least a little nookie on the couch. "Oh…uh, yeah?"

"Follow me to the records room?"

"Sure." Ed slapped Carisi on the back on the way out, "Good to see ya, Sonny. Maybe a barbecue this weekend?"

"Absolutely, Captain!" Sonny called out to their backs.

Fin and Rollins rolled their eyes and went back to work.

…..

Olivia unlocked the room and led the way down the aisles created by cramped shelves full of evidence boxes and file cabinets.

"You really need this stuff?" She asked skeptically.

"Lieutenant," he retorted, "You don't think I would come all the way here and make you take time out of your day if I didn't really need this, do you?"

"I guess not."

"But that doesn't mean," Ed deftly stepped in front of her and grabbed her wrists, "We can't take advantage of a little alone time." He kissed her neck and wasted no time running his tongue along the nape of her neck before biting at her earlobe. "Mmmmmm," he droned, the vibrations causing her to break out in goosebumps, "How do you always smell so good? Know what? Don't answer that. Some things need to remain a mystery."

Olivia raised no objections when he cupped the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Ed trailing a hand under her blouse elicited only a slight chuckle. However, when he began tugging at her waistband, she put two hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"Not here."

Ed pouted, trying to look adorable so she'd change her mind.

"Stop it," she said with a smile.

"No sex in the records room?" He asked mournfully.

"No," Olivia examined the room, disgusted with her surroundings, "It's dusty…musty…"

"Office?" Ed suggested hopefully.

Olivia laughed coyly, "Captain Tucker, let's get your files and get out of here before my squad thinks what didn't happen happened."

"Fine," he said, "But, you, me, bottle of wine, and dinner later."

"It's a date."

Temporarily held at bay, Ed took a step back and gazed at his wife admiringly. "Or maybe, meet me at the bourbon bar after you're done here?"

"Okay."

"One more kiss."

"Fine, but that's it."

"For now."

"Yes, for now." Olivia wanted to convey exasperation, but Ed Tucker simply was too cute to be annoying. He smirked as he planted another kiss on her lips and the smack echoed throughout the area when they broke apart.

"Cause I'll be kissing you forever, you know that right?"

Olivia had already started making her way to the shelves matching the case number, but she turned around and smiled at her husband.

"I look forward to it."

…..

"Mmmmm, God, Liv," Ed moaned into Olivia's mouth, carefully massaging her tongue with his as he tenderly made love to her. The night had gone perfectly according to plan—they had drinks at the bourbon bar, reminisced about the early days of their relationship, and batted around ideas for their impending trip out west. Throughout the conversation, Ed rarely took his eyes off his wife. Even when he was ordering another round or paying for their drinks, his adoration for Olivia was obvious to anyone paying attention. The Tuckers were comfortably ensconced in their little bubble of bliss at the corner of the bar.

At home, they read Noah his stories and kissed him goodnight. Brooke had been babysitting and Olivia politely invited her to stay for a drink, but she declined, sensing they really wanted to be alone.

Now here they were, tangled together under one crisp sheet, having experienced an almost-simultaneous climax. Ed had gasped as he melted inside her and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to prolong the euphoria. When he opened his lids again, Olivia was gazing at him sweetly, appreciatively, but what he said next completely changed both her expression and the course of the night.

"I wanna make a baby with you."

He'd never seen her eyes so wide, and they were filled with curiosity, shock, regret…maybe a bit of amusement? Despite knowing he'd brought up an awkward topic at a terrible time, Ed didn't exactly regret what he said.

Olivia scooted to sit up, so Ed rested on his side next to her and waited for a response.

"Ed," Olivia sighed. She reached over and caressed his cheek so he would know she wasn't completely freaked out. "We've…we've talked about this."

They had talked about it. But only in the context of whether or not Noah was their last child. Ed knew Olivia was open to adopting again, but he also knew she was still able to get pregnant even though she expressed serious concerns about a pregnancy happening when she was almost fifty years old. Each time the topic arose, they reached the same conclusion. Noah was it…or so Olivia thought that was the conclusion.

"Yeah," he replied softly, "I know…I…lately, Liv, I've." He struggled to form sentences and Olivia waited patiently, "I've been feelin'…kinda down."

"That Noah's growing up?" Olivia guessed, thinking about how old their son looked at his team soccer party.

"Maybe, a little, but, and I know I've said before that this wasn't such a big deal…but I need more time, Liv. I'm, almost mad, that it took us so long to get together. I'm so in love with you, but we've missed so much…time…and, that's, hard sometimes. It's unfair."

Tears welled in her eyes. She'd occasionally battled the same thoughts. Physically, Olivia felt young. She felt good, healthy, confident, and optimistic. However, every once in a while something would force her to see a darker side of reality. She and Ed would never celebrate a fiftieth wedding anniversary. Noah would still be a young man when he lost his parents. There would never be a biological Olivia and Ed Tucker baby.

"It is unfair," Olivia agreed, still touching Ed's face, "But, we're happy now."

"We are," Ed interjected, hoping his words hadn't been misconstrued.

"I get it…but I also don't know, or, don't think, we could've been we any earlier. It's…the hand we were dealt, Ed. And I'm flattered," she leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, "you want to have a baby with me, but it's…it's not in our cards."

"I knew that," Ed replied, "It just came out, Liv, I…I…you know I love you, but sometimes, like, just a few minutes ago before I made things incredibly awkward."

They shared a laugh and Ed continued his thought.

"When we're makin' love or even just makin' dinner, that love…" Ed trailed off, at a loss for words to adequately describe his thoughts.

"Gets very heavy?" Olivia finished for him.

He nodded in agreement. "But a good heavy."

"Yeah."

"Which is why…that love, that heavy, it could create another person, and I'd still have so much left over."

Olivia blinked back tears. "Me too."

"Don't cry." He dragged his thumb under one eye and then the other. "Don't cry, baby."

"I don't want us to regret…us," Olivia whispered in a shaky voice.

"Never," he rasped, "C'mere." He slid and arm under her torso and pulled her closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't meanta upset you."

Olivia swallowed a lump in her throat, "You didn't."

"Yeah I did."

"I'm almost…relieved, Ed, you…you've never told me that before…about it feeling unfair. I understand."

"You feel that way, too?"

"Not all the time. Every once in a while." She shifted so she could look him in the eyes, "But you know how I deal with it?"

"How?"

"I think about how much you love me and Noah and how grateful I am for us."

"Me too."

"Please don't hold those things inside, Ed." She offered a warm smile, "Talk to me. No matter what you say, I'm not going anywhere."

He laughed a little at the irony of her using one of his classic lines. Other than more I love yous, no more words were spoken. They snuggled under the sheets for a while but finally drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

….

"So, sweet boy, Brooke's picking you up from school today and you're going to Coney Island."

Noah briefly acknowledged his mother as she explained the day's plans, but he quickly returned his attention to his bagel.

"You've been there before," Olivia continued, "But you weren't even two yet. I don't think you remember. You can ride on the carousel and you're going to the beach and Brookey will take you for a walk on the boardwalk."

"I swim?"

"Yep. I have your bag all packed. But, remember, it's not like the pool. You can play in the waves."

Interested now, Noah's eyes widened. "Big waves?"

"Yeah," Olivia flipped through her phone and found a picture of last year's Fourth of July weekend, "You've been to the beach, remember this? It was last summer."

Noah screwed up his face. "Dat Jeff?"

Olivia checked. She had, indeed, shown him a picture including Sarah's ex-husband. "Yeah, that's Jeff."

"Where Jeff?"

"He's in Philadelphia. Sarah lives here in New York now, and he stayed there."

"Oh."

"So, anyway, tell Brookey to take lots of pictures of you today."

"Ok, Mommy."

"And then you can draw a picture for us tonight and tell us all about it."

Noah grinned, "I draw Ma'hattan," he said in an almost annoyed tone.

"You only draw Manhattan?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, maybe today you can draw Brooklyn. Coney Island is in Brooklyn."

Noah turned around and faced the window, "Brooklyn out dere, too?"

"It is, it's across the river."

"Ohhhhh," he murmured then took another bite. "Ok, Mommy, I draw Brooklyn."

Ed emerged, freshly showered, and dressed in a navy suit, white shirt, and navy-and-green striped tie. He made a beeline for Noah, kissed the top of his head, and whispered, "Mornin' bud."

"Mornin!" Noah replied cheerfully. He held out a piece of his bagel, "Beckfast?"

Ed popped the bagel into his mouth, "Thanks, bud."

"You welcome."

"Do you want a bagel?" Olivia hadn't expected any lingering effects from last night's discussion, but she unexpectedly felt nervous and apprehensive, and hoped to tread toward normalcy by offering him something to eat.

Ed only managed a fleeting glance at his wife, "Nah, thanks though."

"You sure?"

"I'm not that hungry." His voice was kind but distant. "And I gotta get goin." He grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet and put them in their respective pockets.

Olivia scrutinized him closely, worried, suddenly debating whether or not he would give her the customary goodbye kiss.

"Alright," Ed said, "You have fun with Brookey today, No."

Noah pointed at Ed's chest, "Daddy, no clip. Need da clip for p'lice."

Ed looked down. "Oh yeah. I'll get it."

While he retrieved the accoutrement, Olivia finished the rest of her coffee and put the empty mug in the dishwasher. She closed the door, spun around to clear Noah's dishes, and nearly collided with Ed. He took her into his arms and pressed his forehead to hers. "Bye, Liv."

"Bye," she whispered back and briefly closed her eyes in relief.

He kissed her once. Twice. Olivia put a hand on the back of his head and leaned in for one more, daring to part her lips slightly. He accepted the invitation and tenderly ran his tongue over hers a few times. The kiss was deep and passionate but also gentle and brief. Nevertheless, it forced Olivia to gasp for air and take a step backwards to steady herself.

"I love you, Liv."

"Love you, too."

His forehead was, again, pressed to hers, "We're okay, right?"

"Right."

"Cause I can't leave if we're not."

The pain in his face startled her, "We are."

He remained millimeters from her lips a few seconds longer, breathing her in, eyes closed, wishing he hadn't said what he said but at the same time glad he said it.

"Told Carisi we'd barbecue this weekend."

Olivia appreciated the mundane normalcy of his comment. "Then we'll barbecue."

"Good."

She smiled.

"Good."

….

#Tuckson

Yes, I know the OCs got zero fic time here but they'll be back in full force soon :-)