APOV
"When we get home, the minute, and I mean the minute we're alone I'm taking you hard so get ready for a Grey invasion."
"Are you still drunk? A Grey invasion?"
"Definitely not drunk but definitely not feeling good either. How many beers did I drink anyway?"
"I lost track after eight but if it makes you feel any better I heard Elliot puking all night long." And Kate yelling about broccoli but we all heard that, she was not shy about her displeasure.
"Those two are perfect for each other. Whose on breakfast duty anyway? They need to get cracking."
"Lisa and she's been up for an hour already. Did her yoga, did her Tai Chi, made coffee…"
"There's coffee? Come on."
Outside looks like a beer battlefield. There are bottles everywhere so I busy myself picking them up while Christian gets his coffee and starts to pack up our gear. He's says he's anxious to get home and so that he can get started drafting a statement for his PR department but I know my man. He's hit his limit on the personal interaction thing. Last night was a rare treat and little by little that will become more of a norm but being in this type of setting is still so new to him that he can only take it in bits and pieces.
I stop cleaning up to appreciate the view. Not the one I should be appreciating, more the human kind. Even hung over the guy is hot. Every few minutes he stops doing whatever it is he's doing and rubs his temples and the back of his neck. He's dressed casually again, a faded blue t-shirt and the cargo pants he wore yesterday but he's got flip flops on for now. His feet. Good god his feet.
"Hey." Kate growls behind me, grabbing a cup of coffee and coming over to help me. "Did you hear him last night? Freaking pansy can't hold his alcohol for shit. There is literally a bucket of puke by our tent right now. A bucket."
"So gross, just stop talking about it. Ugh. You survived by the way, an entire night in the wilderness and you're coming out unscathed."
"Unscathed? I've got more mosquito bites than I can count, my shoulder is permanently damaged from sleeping on a tree root all night and I'm absolutely sure I contracted some sort of jungle disease. This camping shit is for the birds."
"You're in Washington, not the Amazon. You didn't catch a disease, you caught what we call fresh air."
"And what about her?" Kate points to Lisa who is putting orange juice onto the table, whistling to a song coming through her headphones. "She drank more than anybody and she's fresh as a daisy."
"Daisy." Christian snorts, back turned to us while he shoves a sleeping bag into it's sleeve.
"Lisa's had more practice drinking than any of us. Hike after breakfast ladies." Jose offers, stretching and then reaching in the tent to help Rachel out. Kate looks at me and points her finger down her throat dropping her voice to a whisper.
"Did you hear them last night? Freaking kill me now. That's what set Elliot off. In my life I could never know about Jose having sex and be just fine. And now, well, now I'm tainted forever."
"Good morning my fellow campers, welcome to day two of 'What the fuck are we doing here when we could be at the Fairmont'?" Devin grabs his coffee and plate of scrambled eggs and sits in his chair, pouring himself another glass of Prosecco. "Top o' the morning to ya!" He cheers when Rachel sits next to him, a goofy tired smile on her face.
After breakfast, of which Elliot does not join us, we get dressed for the day and decide on a quick two mile loop for a hike to get some good pictures of the mountain before heading home. Lisa stays behind to clean up but everyone else, except Elliot, laces up and heads out.
It's funny to me to watch Christian interact with Jose and Devin in this setting. Usually he has Elliot to act as a buffer but right now, it's just him. But as with everything else, he rises to the occasion and finds a topic all three of them can relate to, steering the conversation as easily as if he'd been doing this his entire life. It's amazing to me, the way Jose and Christian have eased into this little friendship. At first I thought it was only for my benefit but after spending an entire day with them, I see that it's not. They seem to actually enjoy each other.
"So, you and Jose. How's that going to work when you leave?"
Rachel keeps her eyes on the path and shrugs. "He wants to come with me but we'll hardly see each other. When I'm there, I'm in deep. It's not like I can leave and go out for dinner. When I'm not working, I'm pretty much in hiding so that my identity isn't uncovered. He'd be relegated to stolen moments and being a prisoner in a run down apartment. Mexicans in the Ukraine stick out pretty easily so he wouldn't be able to live a normal life because of the attention he'd draw."
"So where does that leave you guys?" It's obvious she doesn't want to talk about it but in typical Reporter Kate fashion she presses on anyway.
"No idea, we're still figuring it out." At the mile mark Rachel catches up with the guys , no doubt to avoid any more questions, leaving me to babysit Kate as she picks her way along the trail. I want to tell her to hurry up but I'm so damn proud of her I keep my mouth shut. The longest I've seen Kate walk are the times she's dragged me on some shopping spree.
"Can I ask you something, Steele?"
"Sure."
"That night at your apartment when Elliot stayed behind? The dinner party?" I nod, a sinking feeling filling up my gut. "When he came home he was different. Really emotional and withdrawn to the point that I thought I'd done something to upset him so I questioned him and he just shut me down, told me not to worry and that he'd be fine. But he's not. It's been weeks and he's still holding onto something."
I've known Katherine Kavanagh for five years. She can sniff out a story from a mile away. Frankly, both Christian and I have been waiting for her to ask what's going on and I'm shocked it's taken her this long. To me, it speaks volumes about how she sees our friendship and I'm grateful, so very grateful to her for addressing this with me privately.
"So I've pushed and pushed but he says it's a family matter and that he doesn't want to talk about it and most of the time he's ok but then, there are days where I know something is eating at him and it kills me. And then, a few days ago Ethan and I had lunch and he mentions that Mia is acting the same way. Super emotional and closed off. I'm not asking what's going on even though I want to know, I'm letting you know that we both know there's an issue and that if you need anything, no matter what it is, we're here for you."
"Thank you, Kate. I'm fine."
"That goes for Christian too. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the issue is about him and don't think I didn't notice the way Elliot couldn't take his eyes from his brother at certain points last night. Just know that we're here and…and tell Christian too."
I can tell by the way she cut herself off that she knows more but won't say it because to say more would open too many doors that can't be shut. For now I just hug her and link arms, walking in comfortable silence to leave that conversation behind. It's not mine to have, it's Christian's.
A few minutes later we catch up with everyone as they huddle around a cluster of mushrooms. Jose is giving everyone a lesson on which ones are edible and which aren't. Devin groans loudly and covers his eyes, shaking his head as if to rid himself of the conversation.
"This is about as interesting as watching two chicks get it on. The only thing good about that mushroom is the name."
"What's the name of it?" Kate asks, running to catch up with him.
"It's a fairy ring mushroom." He whoops loudly, arms thrown up. "OH my GOD, the places I could go with that. Fairy. Ring. Mushroom cap. It's a gay trifecta!"
By the time we get back the site is cleaned up and the gear is loaded onto three quads. This is camping, billionaire style. The hike out takes a good half hour and we all take turns babysitting Elliot until he's tucked away in the backseat of his car, Kate at the wheel and a bucket by his side. "Well, this has been a hoot. Glad I brought the drunk guy."
"How did I get to my tent last night anyway?" Lisa asks before climbing into her car. Devin circles around and rolls his eyes.
"How in the hell did you drink that much and then get up and work out?"
"I had lots of practice in college." Jose shoots me a grin. He called that one.
"Not enough obviously. Christian carried you in and put you in the sleeping bag. I wiped the drool off of your face and flipped you on your side when you were snoring loud enough for Kate to think a bear had come into camp."
"He carried me? And I missed it? I am never drinking again!" Her head disappears into the car and she slams her door.
"Says the deluded to the liar. Congrats on the engagement, and yes, I know. Only Casey can know for now. Blah blah blah. This has been fun but don't ask me to go anywhere again unless the destination has a pool, air conditioning and a spa. Or James Franco. I'll go anywhere so long as he's there."
"Taylor, find us a place to get coffee and give me a debriefing on the way." Christian opens my door for me and walks to the other side, flopping down on the seat next to me with his eyes closed.
"You got eaten alive. Did you not use bug spray?" One hand scratches at the mosquito bites on his forearm while another goes to his side. "I told you not to sleep without a shirt on." Instead of answering me he opens his eyes and looks at me, rolling his neck around a bit and then letting it fall back onto the seat.
"All in all a quiet night. No humans or large animals were seen or heard. There's been no report of your engagement on any of the wires so it appears as if it's still contained. Which leads us to our next point of topic."
"No, Taylor. The ring stays on."
"Sir, if she wears it to Pilates the world will know in less than sixty seconds. Which means Elena Lincoln and Lillian will as well which eliminates our element of surprise. If you want them to continue believing that Ms. Steele is just a...sub, then putting an engagement ring on her finger isn't the best idea." I knew this was going to come up. Christian looks about ready to blow his top.
"I can wear it around my neck at Pilates and for my breakfast meeting tomorrow. Then we can reevaluate to see if it's still necessary to keep our engagement private or not."
"Reevaluate?" He sneers. Hung over Christian is grumpy Christian. And damn if he doesn't make mosquito bites look good.
"Wearing the ring doesn't make me more or less engaged to you. I'm yours with it on, I'm yours with it off." I hate Elena Lincoln a little more than I did when I woke up. Because even this she's able to taint for him. I refuse to let him wallow in this though so I reach out and rub the back of his neck with one hand, purposefully scraping his skin with the diamond. He groans and relaxes.
"Taylor get Ms. Steele a long platinum chain to wear. Give me an hour when we get home and then we'll have a call with Debra Borden from PR to get something ready to release tomorrow afternoon." His legs stretch out in front of him as far as they can in the car and he sinks back, blindly reaching for my other hand. "And get me a few Advil."
"Looks like Elliot's not the only one with a hang over." He pops one eye open and glances at me sideways.
"I attribute it more to sleeping on the ground and laughing so hard." He pauses as if he's reflecting and squeezes my hand. "I had a good time, baby. I like seeing you with your friends."
"Our friends, Christian. I had a good time too. We did laugh a lot, huh?" After a snort which turns into a wince which makes him take the Advil, he sighs.
"I've never laughed so much in my life. It's too bad Mia wasn't there, she'd have gotten such a kick out Kate."
"Mia camps?"
"Not unless staying at a three star hotel counts as roughing it but she's tougher than Kate, I'll give her that much."
"Speaking of Kate."
"Hmm?"
"She knows something's up with you. She didn't come out and ask what it was but she mentioned how Elliot's been different since the dinner party and that Ethan said Mia's been acting strange for a week now. She didn't ask and she won't, she'd never cross that line but she did want to make sure you and I knew she'd help if she could."
"Fuck. Between a reporter and a psychologist I knew they'd figure it out eventually. What did you say to her?"
"I just said thank you and left it alone. She won't bring it up again and she won't ask you about it so don't worry about that, ok?" A few minutes go by of comfortable silence, my fingernails drawing little circles on his hand.
"Elliot and Mia are acting strange? Man, that is exactly what I didn't want happening." With his left hand he digs his thumb and pointer finger into his eyes, alternating between that and pulling at his hair. "I have no idea how to deal with that. I'm at a loss."
"Maybe you could ask Dr. Flynn? Or maybe just spend time with them. I'm sure part of it, especially for Elliot, is feeling like they failed you somehow but maybe if they saw that you're doing well, that you're happy and not stuck in that part of your life anymore they'll feel better."
"You mean go out with just them?"
"Yeah. Or have them over to play a game or something." He laughs then and reaches for me, pulling me close enough to kiss.
"You really are an only child. Nobody after the age of ten invites their siblings over to play a game. But you're cute anyway."
"Hey! If you challenged them they'd come over."
"And I'd never hear the end of it from Elliot. He's still busting my balls over his Scrabble score from a trip to my parent's Montana house in Junior High."
"Elliot plays Scrabble?"
"Play? No, he dominates. I don't know how because I've literally never seen him read anything except Playboys and the newspaper but he wins every single time. My dad tried to get him to enter contests in high school but fuck if that was happening. And spelling bees, he killed every single one he was in. He's some sort of idiot savant or something." He may be joking but I can detect the pride in his voice. "Everyone thinks he's this rich stupid man whore, well, he is a man whore, or was, and I guess he's rich too...but he's not stupid."
He winces again and straightens his body to dig his phone out of his pocket where it's been vibrating against my hip for five minutes now.
"Grey…hey mom. Yes we told everyone at the site…she did?" Rich laughter fills the car. I love that sound. "Oh really…well dad can thank me for that later…when? Hold on, let me ask my fiancée." His brows wiggle and he smiles into the phone, no doubt loving his mothers reaction to him using that word.
"My parents are going to be in the city and wanted to know if we would rather meet them out for dinner tonight instead of going to the house tomorrow. Mia and Ethan will be with them and she'll ask Elliot when he's able to talk." He chuckles at his brother's expense.
"Sounds good to me." My new family.
"Mom, that's fine just tell us what time...Mile High is good for us, I'll call ahead…No, we're not announcing anything just yet. I need to speak with my team and there are a few people I want to call personally first. Did you tell anyone?" He chortles into the phone, his eyes alight with joy. "OK OK, you can call your brother and sister but make sure they know they've got to stay quiet. I'll call Gram and Gramps later today...yes I promise...I'm fine with that…just make sure you tell me when so I can have Taylor do a sweep…ok, love you too."
My heart thumps hard against my sternum with surprised joy at the casual way in which he says I love you to his mother. I'm proud of him for being able to do it but more than that, I'm thrilled for Grace. I can't help but wonder how many times she said it and received no response.
"My grandparents are joining us for dinner along with Mia and Ethan. I guess this is sort of a celebratory dinner. I hope you're ready for the tide of Mia and Grace coming your way."
There are certain advantages to having a lot of money and therefore a lot of help, the least of which is the ability to walk away from a mess. In the garage I wait for Taylor to unload our gear but Christian takes my arm and steers me into the elevator, pinning me to the wall with his hips, one hand on each side of my head.
"Take off your t-shirt and your bra. Leave just the white tank top on." When I hesitate he runs his nose along mine and growls, pushing his erection into my hip. "You denied me yesterday, you won't do it today. Now, Ms. Steele." I do as he says while he drops to his knees and unties my boots, pulling them off and tossing them into a corner of the lift. By the time he's finished, I'm in only the white tank top and pants.
"I take it your headache is gone?"
"You and that mouth, Ms. Steele." He grins and shakes his head slowly. "Soon to be Mrs. Grey." Excitement unfurls low in my belly at his tone, his words, his primal gaze that settles on my arm as I fling my bra onto the floor.
He stands and takes one step back, his eyes drinking in my body. Without so much as a touch my chest grows heavy, my breathing coming in shorter intakes and exhales. I know what it feels like to be eye fucked as he calls it because he's doing it now. The soft cotton of the tank caresses my breasts, my nipples hardening in response to his predatory stare. Touch me.
"I like the look of that." The husk of his voice saturates my senses and sends my desire into a tailspin. My mind starts to go fuzzy as he traces his finger along the curve of my breast and down my ribs, his finger leaving a trail of heat in its wake. "Now drop those cute little camo pants." I do as he says but if he thinks I'm having sex before a shower, he's nuts. But then he starts sucking and nibbling along my neck and my jaw, his hands planted on each side of my head against the wall and suddenly, I don't really care.
"I need to shower." I murmer.
"Later." His breath is hot against that spot behind my ear that makes my insides clench.
"I'm dirty."
"I don't give a fuck." His lips press to the corners of mine. Once, twice, a third and fourth time before his tongue darts out to flick at the center sending shivers down my spine. The man can kiss. My god can he kiss.
"You're dirty."
"I really don't give a fuck." He presses into my center, the length of his hardness momentarily distracting me until I hear the ding of the elevator indicating that we're holding it up while someone waits downstairs. Probably Taylor. "Turn around and touch your toes, Ana." With a slowness that kills me I pull my head back and bite my lip, pushing him gently back so that he's standing, legs wide with his arms crossed in front of me. Hot. As. Fuck.
"Catch me first." I only see the uncertainty and glint in his eyes for a split second before I take off towards the bedroom as fast as I can in bare feet and no bra, screeching when I feel him closing in on me but not before I almost get the bathroom door closed.
With a firm push the door swings open and he stalks to the counter where I've pressed myself. He looks feral and lust crazed, a combination that turns me on so much I'm almost frightened.
"You want a shower?" He growls, lifting me around my waist and settling my legs around him. "Then let's get a shower, baby."
He's fully dressed, boots and all but slams me against the tile wall and holds me there with his hips while he whips his shirt off and turns the water on. I feel him grin against my lips, pressing himself against that pulsing place that is desperate for him and then he lifts me higher, sucking on a nipple through the thin wet cotton of my shirt. His pulls are hard and strong, his mouth urgent and hot. When he pulls away and sees the pink of my breast, the tip hard and long he growls and moves to the other one, repeating the same movements until I'm writhing against his chest.
"Feel good, baby?" I answer with a groan. "Looks good too. Hold onto me." His hands move to his belt, the heat of his erection brushing against my panty covered sex a few seconds later. I want that.
"Put me down, Christian." My voice is husky and foreign to even my ears but he listens just the same, confusion marring his gorgeous face. "My turn to taste." He turns and leans against the wall, his hands resting on my hips as he fights an internal struggle. For him to relinquish control, especially in this context is still so hard for him.
One look down at his boots and I know it would be nearly impossible for me to take them off so I don't bother and instead pull his wet pants and underwear down to his knees, kissing his balls at the same time I run my fingers over his abdomen. I count the bumps; one, two, three, four on each side and then hit the muscular division of that delicious V, desire taking over completely.
"Fuck! Ana!" He yells when I suck him in, pushing him to the back of my throat until I gag. "Oh fuck yea. Again, take me in all the way." And because he needs that little bit of control I happily give it to him and lick his balls and up his shaft, circling the tip before driving my mouth down as far as I can over and over, humming with appreciation. Above me he pants, lips in a circle, eyes blazing but when I take him in my hand they go wide and he bucks against me.
"Oh fuck…I can't…I'm gonna come…oh FUCK! Look at me…god...damn...it...I'm coming…" My mouth stays attached to his tip while my hand glides up and down, his eyes fixated on the movement. When he's finished he leans against the wall, palms flat against his thighs, eyes closed, chest heaving. Damn I like doing this to him.
Slowly I stand and rinse myself off and then take off the tank, tossing it next to his t-shirt in the corner. He's still not moved by the time I rinse the shampoo out but he's smiling and watching me, breathing hard and fast.
"That was embarrassingly quick." Is he...blushing? "I was doing fine and then you wrapped your hand around me and I saw the ring on my cock and, well, damn that was good." I giggle.
"It was the ring that set you off? And for the record, I love making you feel like that." Finally he moves, pushing against the wall and squatting down to untie his laces.
"The ring, the wet tank top, your eyes looking up at me, the chant of 'mine mine mine' running on a loop in my head." With that he winks and then gives up squatting to sit, still working on getting his boots off. Five minutes later and I've washed his hair while he continues to untie the soaking wet laces, his pants all bunched up around his knees. "Fuck this, get me a pair of scissors and fill the tub while you're out there."
"But we're in the shower already."
"And I just came before you did and I want to remedy that but I can't until I can move my damn legs and I want to soak because my back hurts." I ignore his snippy attitude and dry off to go find scissors. "Put a robe on, Taylor's out there!" he barks after me. I roll my eyes when I'm sure he can't see and throw on a robe, marching to the kitchen and back with shears.
When he's free from his clothes he joins me in the tub, leaning his back against the opposing side and groaning when his butt hits the water.
"My ass is frozen from sitting on that floor." I laugh and grab one of his feet, lifting it out of the water to run my thumb across the arch.
"You have the sexiest feet. Have I ever told you that?" He says nothing so I look up and find him staring at me, heavy lidded, arms stretched on either side of him resting on the rim. He nods twice. "Has anyone ever kissed your feet, Christian?" A cloud passes over his face, my stomach drops. I don't want to know anymore. "You need a haircut. Desperately." The cloud passes, laughter rips through the air.
"I know. I had Franco come earlier in the week and wound up talking to him about business and forgot to get him to do it. Maybe you could?" Air bursts in my lungs at the way he asked; so softly and gently, as if he really wants it but is afraid I'll say no. Sometimes the fear of rejection is so vivid in him, the small boy that was ignored afraid of being denied love, that I hurt for him so deeply I can't breathe.
"I can do it. Do you have shears?" He nods. "I've only ever cut Rays and that was with a buzzer but if you trust me, I'll try." When his head leans back I fight the urge to suck on his adam's apple.
"I trust you with my heart. My hair is nothing."
I'm rendered speechless and motionless until he wiggles his toes and opens one eye with a smile. "What was it you were saying about my feet?"
"I was saying," I squeeze his heel and run my tongue up his arch, "that you have," and down the other side, "the sexiest feet," then up the middle, "ever." His hips rise and he groans when I lick his big toe and suck on it, lightly massaging the rest of his foot in my hands.
"So," my lips wrap around his little toe, he groans again, "fucking," a quick bite to toes three and four, "sexy." And then I suck his toe like I sucked his cock a few minutes prior, my eyes never leaving his face.
"You kill me, Anastasia." I grin and hum, the sensation making him squirm. My leg straightens and my foot slides up his outstretched leg until I find what I'm looking for. Hard, slippery male. "Shhhhhhit." He hisses when I run my toes over him. His head snaps up and he looks at me then, watching with unbridled lust as I fellate his feet. When he takes himself in hand, pressing the arch of my foot to his base, I just about come myself. I love to watch him do this for some reason. It's so…masculine.
"You are so hot, Christian. I want you so much. All of the time. I think about you all day long, I dream of you at night. You're everything to me."
"Oh fuck." He groans, his head rolling on his neck before he pulls his foot back and reaches for me, settling me on his lap for a second before lifting me out of the water and resting me on the edge of the tub. "You slay me, Ana."
He says nothing more but I can see the emotions he's holding back and they push me right to the brink. He hasn't even touched me and I'm ready. "Remind you of anything?" He asks with a smirk. "The first time I tasted you was right here, just like this. Let me taste you again, I want your cream in my mouth, in my body. I want to carry you around all day." Oh my god, I'm literally right there.
"Yes, please…" I whimper and he chuckles against my knee, lightly kissing a small scrape before lifting my legs and separating them, sliding his hands back to my center to gently pull me open.
"Ah, there's heaven." And with one long lick he brings me there with him and keeps me there with the flat of his tongue until one finger pierces me and hooks forward, the heat flashing through my body immediate and overwhelming.
"No, no, I can't…too much…too…please…Christian…please..."
"No need to beg, baby, I know what you can handle and you can handle this. Relax sweet girl, let me drink from you. I want to hear you."
It takes a few minutes of that constant, firm pressure but when I look down to see him, mouth pressed against my sex, eyes fevered and focused on me I detonate in what feels like a mirage of heat, trembling and convulsing from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. When he slides me down into the water he looks possessed by need but I'm useless right now. I couldn't tell you my name if I had to.
Thankfully he reminds me, moaning it when he turns me and settles back against the side of the tub, sliding into me from behind. Over and over he moans against my ear, his hands strong and possessive on my hips, the ridges of his abs smoothing over my lower back. I'm boneless, floating in the water and being carried through it by this man so intent on my pleasure in all things.
Boldly my hand snakes down and cups his balls, warm and heavy in the water. He groans and jerks underneath me, one hand sliding up my back to push me forward slightly.
"God, yes, use your nails. Oh shit…yessssss." He's really moving me now, splashing water over the sides of the tub and onto the floor but neither of us cares. When his hand reaches around my belly to touch me I gently push it back to my hip. I'm still far too sensitive for that.
"Just enjoy it, Christian. I'm all set, just relax." He chuffs at my use of his own words but then gasps when I circle my thumb and pointer finger around his base, the other hand still scratching the way he likes. His hand wrapped around my hair is the only thing keeping me from falling forward into the water and damn if that doesn't turn me on even more.
Frenetically he moves my hips, back and forth back and forth until he stills, tenses and jerks silently, the throb of him inside me slowly fading into a gentle fullness.
"Damn." Beneath me he moves, sliding out and then pulling me back against him, his arms wrapped around my waist, his face buried in my neck. "Just...damn. Where did you learn that little trick?"
"Girl talk around the campfire." He snorts and lets his arms drop into the water, his chest heaving behind me.
"We should go camping every weekend then."
The buzz of his ever present phone interrupts our rest a few minutes later to remind him of his security briefing. "We've got less than 20 minutes, do you think you can cut my hair in that time frame?"
"I can try, just let me get dressed quickly while you find the cutting shears."
After donning my Pilates gear and pulling my hair into a loose ponytail I walk back into the bathroom and smile. He's pulled the straight back chair from the closet in and is sitting on it, eyes closed facing the mirror.
I haven't ever done this, a fact I reiterate to him when I remind him that he's meeting with clients in London in a few days. But he just smiles and tells me to proceed. The truth is, his hair's a mess anyway. It's unruly, caught between being curly and straight and has a hundred cowlicks which contributes to the 'just fucked' look he sports. On anyone else it would look ridiculous; on Christian, it looks sexy as hell.
While I cut he stares at me in the mirror saying nothing, just watching. Occasionally his hand grazes my legs or my stomach but he remains silent and still until the end when he closes his eyes and breathes out, more to himself than me, "I love you so much, Ana."
And because sometimes he steals the words right from my mouth I cup his face and lean down to kiss him, carefully removing the towel that was around his shoulders. Instead of going into the shower though he slathers cream on his face and begins to shave. I don't know why but to me, this site is insanely erotic.
He eyes me sideways in the mirror and raises his brow when I slide onto the counter after cleaning up the hair on the floor. "Can I try?" He hesitates, holding the razor between us. "I'll be careful." One sexy pout later, from him of course, and I'm tipping his head back and gliding the wooden handled razor over his neck. "God that sound is such a turn on for some reason."
He waits until I've pulled away and laughs. "Chocolate milk and the sound of shaving. You have one strange kinky turn on list." I laugh with him because it's true. "Well, a lot of things you do turn me on but those do stick out as strange."
"List them. The things I do."
"Oh where to begin. Move your face to the left. For starters, the way you lean in doorways, the way you unbutton that top button by 10am every morning, the way you dry your balls after a shower," at this he laughs causing me to almost nick him, "the way you press your phone to your lips when you're thinking, the way you reach back with one hand and take your t-shirt off, the way you hold my hips when you want me to ride you, the way you chew gum, oh man the way you chew gum is h. o. t."
"Gum? You like when I chew gum?" I nod and rinse the cream off with a warm washcloth. "I'll call Wrigley's tomorrow. Is there more?"
"A million more things but you're all finished and Taylor's waiting." With another sexy pout he rinses off in the shower and throws on a pair of jeans, kissing me at the elevator. I'll be going to Pilates with Prescott and Reynolds today since Sawyer needs to sit in on this security briefing. I've purposefully not taken my ring off, I'll do that once I'm away from Christian and I'll put it back on before I get home. Out of sight out of mind is what I'm hoping will pacify him on this particular issue.
CPOV
"I'll call Ros now and have her call Andrea and Barney. Actually, I'll call them all myself and have Andrea schedule a meeting with PR Monday morning after this damn breakfast party we're throwing for my fiancée and my ex."
"PR will want a statement with regards to a time frame if possible."
"They can go fuck themselves and so can the paparazzi. That's my and Ana's business only. I want her security tightened while I'm away too, once this gets out it's going to be a feeding frenzy to get to her."
My body shifts to Sawyer, standing with his arms crossed behind him, legs wide. "If someone so much as touches her shirt while I'm away I'm going to go bull shit on you. She's to go to work, her classes and that's it. Home is where I want her. If she insists on going to Ray's, I want you within arms reach of her except when you're in the house and if you let her get on that god damned motorcycle I will fire you all the way from England."
"Yes, Sir." Taylor clears his throat, no doubt to remind me that there's no reason to be so rough on Sawyer since nothing's happened yet.
"And your directive on Clayton?" Tugging on my hair is less satisfying when there's not much to pull. She took off a bit too much for my liking but I'd let her shave me bald if I could watch her do it. I wonder if she's aware of how often she bites her lip when she concentrates or how she stands on her tippy toes when she's contemplating something.
"Take him off the proscribed list but monitor the calls in from him. And put him on message alert, I don't want him going straight through to her office. And absolutely no physical meetings between them. If he doesn't back off in a few weeks he goes back on proscribed and I'll deal with Ms. Steele. Where are we on Hyde?"
Sawyer shoots a look at Ryan who stands and leaves the room without any questions. Once the doors close behind him Taylor takes two steps closer and lowers his voice.
"That will be taken care of by tomorrow afternoon. I expect him to change his plea before the night is over but what I expect and what he'll do are two different things, the guy's a loose cannon to say the least. In some ways that's worked for us, he's made quite a few enemies inside already so it will make…the persuasion that much easier." Good.
"How do you know we'll have an answer by tomorrow?" His feet shift along with his eyes. I can read the internal debate he's having; how much should I know just in case this comes back around to me.
"He'll be given a time frame. If he fails to meet that time frame there will be further conversations that I'm sure he will want to avoid. We've got someone at the defenders office who will alert us immediately."
"OK, what else?" Taylor taps on his notes on the desk, focusing on the next point of discussion.
"We'll need to hire someone to assist with the mail and emails Ms. Steele is generating. It's become too much of a task for the current team and when the news of your engagement hits, it's going to become totally unmanageable. I also wanted to bring your attention to this." Taylor swings the laptop around to show me a website. I squint to read the address.
"Ana's Playground? What the fuck is this?"
"Her fan club follows her around and posts where she is, who she's with and what she's wearing every day. There are albums on here of each outfit she wears, what she orders at restaurants, where she goes, who she's with. It's not illegal and while the two girls running it are creepy they aren't a threat but it's one more thing that needs to be monitored. This is one of three sites dedicated to her and also the most sophisticated." Ana will freak out if she knows there are websites dedicated to her.
"Is there a plan of action for this?"
"Not as of now, Sir. It's pathetic but not a danger. All three sites are similar to the ones that are set up on your behalf as well." Low life scum suckers need to get a life.
"How many are about me?"
"As of last count which was Wednesday of last week, 13." Parasites.
"And how long will it take for Barney to shut them all down? Assuming he's aware of them."
"He's aware and assures me that he can shut them down temporarily or permanently within seconds of receiving instructions to do so." I don't like the electronic invasion into our lives but this is the world we now live in. It baffles my mind that anyone would care what someone else ordered at a restaurant but I'm not a pathetic loser so...
"I don't want Ms. Steele to know about these sites. Let's move on to the security updates at the new office building."
"Welch has been there since Friday night with his team and Elliot's in house security. The elevators that go to the top floors now require a code. Anyone wanting to exit will also need a swipe card for her floor specifically. We got a bit of resistance to having an armed guard for her floor but when we agreed to put him on our payroll and also to pay the increase in liability insurance they relented."
"We've set up a small security suite in the office closest to hers for Sawyer and then put the majority of the equipment and CCTV monitors in the other office on her floor. From the outside it will appear as if an architectural firm is renting the space but in reality, it will only be our equipment. So far the other businesses in the building have all come up clean with regards to their background check and Mr. Grey has agreed to submit any future rent requests to me directly."
"Walk me through her movements from arrival."
"The garage is secured and accessible only to employees of the building with a card swipe. There is also a uniformed guard at the gate to the garage who will be given a facial look book. Once inside, only cars with access to the top four floors are admitted into a secured area. From that point there are cameras at every angle. The walk from her spot to the elevator is approximately nineteen feet. She'll swipe her card and enter her personal pin number which grants her and her staff access to the elevator. When it arrives on the ninth floor where her office is she'll need to reswipe and reenter the code. If there are any mistakes in entering the code the security team is notified and is instructed to immediately approach the elevator."
Damn, even GEH isn't as secure as this. Not that I'm complaining, if I had it my way she'd be in my building but I knew that wasn't going to happen so this is the next best thing.
"Once out of the elevator there will be an armed guard on duty. If at any point in that timeline she or one of her employees is under duress, a separate code will be issued to them that will sound a silent panic alarm but will appear to whomever is with them that all is well."
"Well done but what about when she has visitors come to the office?"
"They will enter through the front entrance and once cleared will be escorted by one of her staff to the office. That process will work identical to the one in place at GEH. There will also always be a CPO with her who can also retrieve visitors if her staff is unable to."
"Any developments with Lincoln?" I already know the answer because if there were I'd be the first to be informed but I ask anyway to keep the pressure on them.
"None. We have been monitoring Lillian's calls to and from Escala and Elena's known numbers but there has been no contact since Ms. Steele met with her."
"And the agenda for tomorrow's meeting?"
"We'd like to get her to plant someone inside her organization. I think, as does Welch, that we need to move fast on this while she's distracted with the IRS investigation and the financial implications of her newly blacklisted state. We need her to be as unfocused as possible and pulling the thread from as many angles as possible will do that. I'd like to encourage you to push through Franco's opening sooner rather than later as that will have a severe impact on her business as well."
"Done. Have Andrea reach out to him and get a team together to move that along. I'd like to host some sort of opening party for that too. Red carpet and everything. I'll grant one question to whichever reporter on the carpet whose outlet hasn't been hounding us."
For the next hour Taylor, Sawyer and I hit the gym in silence, quietly competing to see who can bench the most. It's not really a competition since Sawyer is 20 pounds heavier than Taylor and he's got at least twice that on me. The guy's built like a tree and just as strong and while I never like to lose, I do feel better about him being in charge of Ana's protection when he lifts a good 60 pounds more than me. Ryan walks in just as we hit mile three on the treadmills and motions for us to wrap it up. Ana is on her way back and we'll be leaving for dinner soon.
A strange thrill runs though me at the prospect of showing my family the ring. Not the ring so much as the promise of a future with this woman. For so long I dreaded seeing my family for no reason other than the knowledge, or perceived knowledge, that I was a failure and a disappointment. That my presence, though requested, was required out of obligation. I feared exposure and embarrassment constantly. Every conversation was nuanced, every statement vieled to mean something else. In a word, I was paranoid and my family paid the price for that.
"I'm ready!" She exclaims, walking into the great room where I'm on the phone with Ros, the heated conversation quickly forgotten when I see my girl.
"Ros, I've got to go."
"Christian! We need to finalize"
"Bye, Ros." I slip the phone in my pocket and take Ana's hands in mine, twirling her around so that I can check her out from every angel. "Wow, you look sensational."
"Yeah? I wanted to wear something special for tonight." My heart thuds hard in my chest when she pulls away and turns one more time. "I'm excited to see your parents." Me too, baby, me too.
In the car she crosses her legs demurely, tucking the light beige ballerina like skirt under her legs before dabbing on more lip gloss. "You look beautiful." I love that shy smile she gets, the way the blush creeps up over her neck and into her hairline. "I like your hair back like that too, makes it easy for me to control you later on."
"Oh my god! You are something else, Grey! You look pretty hot yourself." She reaches over to adjust my hair, dropping her hand to my face to pull me down for a kiss. "I think I did ok on the cut. I'm not sure I left myself enough length to grab onto though."
"Don't you worry about that. You'll be too busy holding onto the headboard to reach for my hair. I seriously can't wait to flip that fluffy skirt up around your waist and bend you over." Her eyes open as wide as saucers which makes me laugh. This is the same girl who a few hours ago was sucking on my toes. "You better lose that blush before we get inside. Here, let me hold your hand so the pap's don't get a picture of the ring yet. I can't wait until this meeting is over tomorrow and the entire world finds out we're getting married."
"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele, we're so glad you and your family are dining with us tonight. Your party is waiting, please follow me." Before I can walk Ana into the private room that's been set aside for us, Mia all but tackles her, throwing her arms around her and screeching at a pitch I'm sure has dogs all over Seattle barking.
My mom just starts crying and walks to me slowly, taking my face in her hands and pulling me down to kiss my cheek. "Congratulations darling boy."
"Thank you, mom." Even I have a hard time not getting a bit emotional when I hug her close. I can feel the restraint in her body, so afraid that she'll cross some arbitrary line and upset me. My first instinct is to blame myself and to hate my past but today is a new day and this is a new me so instead I hug her a bit tighter and shove down the mild panic that I feel.
My grandmother hugs me next, patting me softly on the cheek with tears in her blue eyes. "I want great grandkids, Christian." The room erupts into laughter and I pat her shoulder as she turns to Ana.
"You got it, Gram!" The room gets quiet and then Mia howls again, setting off a new chain of tears for the women in the room, Ana included. They're all huddled around her hand, twisting the ring this way and that.
Ethan shakes my hand and gives me a firm pat on my bicep but I can't help but wonder how much he knows of my past at this point. When he reaches for Ana and covers her in an embrace that would normally catapult me right to murderous rage I wait but nothing happens. I'm not necessarily cool with him, or any male outside of my family touching her, but I understand now that he's just her friend. But three seconds is my limit and he's lucky he didn't cross it.
"Christian." Gramps holds out his hand and pulls me in for a hug. I can't remember ever hugging so much in my life, not at holidays, not at birthdays, not at funerals. "I knew it would take the love of a good woman to bring out the man in you." What does that mean? I'd ask but my father steps up and grasps both arms, holding me out and smiling.
"Son. Congratulations. Your mother and I couldn't be happier." And then he does something I don't think he's ever done in my entire life. He leans in and pulls me in, hugging me tight and I'm absolutely sure I felt him kiss the top of my head quickly so as not to let anyone see.
"Dad." He says nothing, just smiles and reaches for my mother, steering her to the table to signal to everyone else that it's time to start. This may be my restaurant but Carrick Grey is still the head of this family.
Elliot and Kate show up after the appetizers and make their rounds, completing what is now my new family. He looks a hell of a lot better than he did earlier in the day but my mom still gives him the stink eye. "Elliot Grey. You are too old to be acting like an idiot." He gives her a half smile and then flips me the bird.
"So, Christian, Ana, when's the big day?" Before she can answer I do. We haven't actually talked about it but I don't see a real need to. We both want something small and intimate. Actually, I don't care what kind of ceremony we have so long as she wears a white dress and lets me take it off of her after we say 'I do'.
The smaller the affair the easier it will be to contain but that's not the main reason for wanting something small. In all truth, a big over the top event is just not Ana and it's certainly not me. That doesn't mean we won't keep things as quiet as possible but I do have every intention of 'leaking' a wedding photo out for the world to see. I want every fucker out there to see her in a white dress with a big ass diamond on her tiny finger and know that Anastasia Rose Steele is officially off the market.
"I've got Andrea working on clearing my schedule for later next week so we can do it over Labor Day Weekend." Ana's head snaps to me but she remains quiet as a hush falls over the table. She may not be speaking, but her eyes say enough.
"Next weekend?" It's more of a forced happy question.
"Did you have other plans?" We had talked about going back to Aspen but our wedding trumps any trip so…
Her shoulders rise just enough for me to notice and then she places her hand on my thigh, sliding it up to my hand and holding it.
"Not next weekend but soon. We want something small, I was thinking late October maybe when the leaves are changing colors." October? Late October? That's two months away! No. My hand squeezes back, my own shoulders tight with tension. Everyone sits quietly watching to see how this plays out. I'm used to getting my way in all things. If I want to get married in two weeks, we'll get married in two weeks.
"Obviously we need to figure it out so we'll let you all know as soon as we do." This seems to pacify everyone enough for conversation to continue on. When everyone is distracted I lean over and growl, "Two fucking months, Ana? What the fuck is the holdup? You don't even want a god damned wedding, we should just be doing this tomorrow. Fuck two months."
"Christian, one, you're hurting my hand. Two, we will discuss this in private. And no, I don't want a wedding but I also don't want to rush into this either."
"What the hell does that mean, Ana? Are you having second thoughts?" She bites her lip and then closes her eyes for a few seconds.
"No. I'm sure I want to marry you but I want to enjoy this part too. I want to enjoy the fanfare that comes along with getting engaged." Fanfare? She'll quickly change her tune when the media starts reporting and speculating on every single detail.
Elliot accurately reads my mood and leans over when my grandmother engages Ana in conversation. "Dude, she's a chick. A cool chick but still a chick. She wants to parade that ring around and despite what she says, she still wants to plan a wedding. A small one, but a real wedding, not some thrown together shit show. Calm the fuck down, bro. What's the rush anyway?"
Mia watches from across the table and despite the joy that she exudes I can see the flash of sadness every time I catch her watching me. I see it in Elliot too. I'd purposefully ignored the reality that my admission would cause for my siblings. If something like this had happened to them and I'd just now found out about it, if Elliot or god forbid Mia had been the subject of abuse when we were kids…I'd kill someone with my bare hands.
"Why don't the three of us go out for dinner tomorrow night? We were supposed to go to Mom and Dad's but now that we're here, why don't we go out instead? I'll even go to that god awful steakhouse you like, Mia." Both of them look at me like I've grown a third eye and then Mia's face scrunches up and she nods once. Ethan looks from her to me and then takes her hand but says nothing. Yeah, I'm going to have to let the Kavanagh siblings know something before their imagination runs.
Once dessert is cleared the women rush off to the bathroom, dragging Ana along with them despite her protests of not needing to go. When the door shuts Gramps taps his tumbler on the table to quiet us and then points at me.
"I've been happily married to your grandmother for almost 63 years, son so I feel qualified to dole out some sage advice. You're a smart man, Christian but nobody here is going to tell you you're the most emotionally in tune with…well, anyone." Even I laugh. Gramps has never beat around the bush in any situation. When my dad's dad died a few years ago Gramps walked in and patted dad on the back, said he was sorry and then shrugged. "He was old as dirt, Carrick. Man had a good life but it was time for him to go."
"Fire away, Gramps." He finishes his drink and then reaches for Ethan's who pushes it towards him with a smile.
"I was planning on it whether you wanted me to or not. Now, before I give you my advice, I want to say one thing. Everyone always worried about you. About how you were and what was going on in that head of yours. Not me though, I knew you were fucked up but I also knew you'd figure out how to fix it and let me tell you something, I can say with sincerity that you're going to be just fine. You are a loved man, have been your whole life. When you embrace that, you'll get over that last hurdle holding you back." I can't swallow, I can't breathe, I can't move.
"Now, that being said," he finishes Ethan's tumbler and motions for Elliot's, "that girl you found, she's a true gem. They don't make 'em like that anymore, not like they used to. You hold onto her with all you've got and I don't mean in a suffocating way. You love her with your body, your mind, your heart, your spirit, your god damned soul. You love her until loving her is all you've got left. You keep your marriage on an island. Nobody gets on it. You and her only from now on. Keep your pants zipped and your hands to yourself unless it's with that woman. While you're at it, keep your mouth zipped to. Women like to talk and I'll never admit it to your Grandmother but they know a hell of a lot more than we do."
"You choose to be with one woman for the rest of your life, then you better be with just that one woman. You're a good looking man and I'm not foolish enough to believe that temptation isn't going to be thrown your way. An island, Christian. A very private island."
"Gramps, that's one thing you don't need to worry about." He harrumphs and leans back. There is no temptation on this earth that could take me away from her.
"I'm sure I don't. Because as much as you love her now, in ten years, you'll love her more. And twenty years after that, you won't believe you loved her as little as you do now because it will be all consuming." He holds up his hand when I go to protest. "I'm not saying you don't love her now. I didn't think I could love your grandmother more than I did when we got married either but I knew jack shit about love and what it really meant. Because when you love a woman right, she will give you her heart and her body and her soul in a way that we men need. She will make your house a home and give you a family. A woman can be complete without a man but we need them." The door opens with a chorus of giggles as the women return, Kate holding Ana's hand to admire the ring again. Gramps points at me, "And that's a damn fact."
And as I watch her walk to me and lean down to press her lips to my temple I realize something. Marrying her isn't about making her mine or parading her around as unavailable. It's about loving her. Dedicating myself to loving her through all of life's twists and turns and curveballs. When she sits down and smiles, that tender smile that I've only ever seen her bestow to me, I lean in and kiss her cheek, inhaling that sweet scent of hers that lives in my soul now.
"Two months is fine, baby. Whatever you want, whenever you want." The smile she gives me makes the wait worth it. If I can keep that on her face, if I can be there to see the lines of age grace her eyes, I can wait two months.
"One. We'll meet in the middle. End of September." I smile against her lips, the table, the room, the whole world could be watching, I don't care.
"The end of September then."
Authors Note: I try to incorporate some of the more memorable scenes from the original trilogy so the above is my homage to the hair cut in book three which happens to be one of my favorite scenes...and Mylisa...that was all for you.