38.

Skipping a few weeks ahead. Late July, 2017.

….

"Sure they're not home?'

Rain so violently pelted the windows of the Tucker apartment that Sarah strained to make out her date's words.

"They're gone. In Wyoming. Far, far, away," she purred as she kicked off her heels and tugged him to her by the collar. "Stop worrying." She planted a firm kiss on his lips. "And follow me." She pranced into the kitchen and flipped on the under-cabinet lighting, just enough illumination for her to inspect the wine rack and choose a bottle.

"You seem to know your way around," he remarked.

"I sure do. How about this?"

"Looks good," he replied, barely examining the label.

She fumbled with the corkscrew. It slipped out of her grasp several times before he took it from her and deftly uncorked the bottle. She grinned, grabbed two glasses, and gestured for him to pour.

"This is a great place," he said.

"It is," Sarah agreed wholeheartedly, "But, just don't go into the bedroom down the hall to the right. My brother's. Might ruin the mood. Speaking of," she bit her lip and scanned the room, "Hang on a sec."

Finding the remote for the speakers, she flipped on the power and hooked up her phone. "Jazz?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Come over here." She was in front of the window now, the Manhattan skyline barely visible through the low-lying clouds.

He complied and walked over, drinks in hand. Sarah took a long gulp, put the glass down, and drew closer to his torso. "Whatcha want to do?"

He looked down at her seductively. "I think you know what I want to do."

…

Ed steered the small SUV into the parking spot at their Jackson, Wyoming resort hotel. Dusk settled upon them and he, Noah, and Olivia were all exhausted after their final day out west. Each day of the trip began with an early morning departure and several short but at times grueling hikes and today was no different.

"This has been amazing," Ed said, "But, next trip? We're going on a cruise."

"Agreed." Olivia said. They certainly saw some of nature's most beautiful sights, but this trip had definitely confirmed two things. One, she was a city person and two, vacation needed to involve hot weather, lounging, and down time. They'd been constantly on the go for each of their five days. Even when they arrived at the hotel early, Noah, restless from the long car rides, wanted to play in the pool or on the resort's playground. His parents, of course, indulged him. However, today he seemed as tired as the adults. "But," she added brightly, "We have some amazing pictures."

He leaned across the console for a kiss, "Yeah we do." Glancing back at a drowsy Noah, he said, "You want to order in tonight or go out?"

"How about we rest a little and then go out? Wander around town a bit?"

"Sounds good."

Ed got out and immediately opened the back door to get Noah. Olivia watched as he expertly unbuckled the straps and lifted the little boy into his arms. Noah practically glued himself to Ed's chest and sighed contentedly.

"There ya go, bud," Ed said softly, "We're gonna take a little nap, kay?"

"Kay."

"You have fun today?"

"See da moose."

"Yeah we did."

"We go to pool, Daddy?"

"Maybe later pal. Let's sleep first. We don't wanna fall asleep in the water."

The thought of sleeping in the pool caused Noah to giggle softly, but he said no more words. By the time they got to their one-bedroom suite, he was sound asleep. Ed put him in their king-sized bed, and Olivia screwed up her face, wondering where they were going to nap.

"Let's go out on the balcony," Ed whispered, reading her mind. "Grab a blanket."

They settled in on a lounge, wrapped in the large fleece blanket and each other, and gazed out at the snow-capped Tetons in the distance. Olivia snuggled into Ed's chest and let out a contented moan.

"This feels good."

"That's for sure," he replied, "Olivia Benson in my arms."

"Tucker."

"Huh?"

"It's Olivia Tucker."

"Oh, yeah, of course, it's just…I think back…a lot actually, I don't know why, about you and me and everyone else, and God, Liv, it's, like, what are the chances?"

She laughed warmly. "Low."

"Seriously, what would you have said if I asked you out earlier?"

"How much earlier?"

"At first. Way, way back."

"Weren't you married then?"

Ed clicked his tongue at his mistake, "Yeah, well, okay, what about around the time Rollins shot that guy?"

Olivia rifled through her memory. "I probably would've laughed."

"Ouch."

"Seriously, Ed?" Olivia twisted her body to get a look at him, "I know…I know you're trying to make this happen before it did, but there's no way. I was…I was with someone else. And before then, things were so, hostile, it never would've happened."

"Remember…remember when I was trying to get Cassidy to go undercover?"

"Sure," Olivia said brightly, about to deliver a playful barb about Tucker putting Cassidy in a precarious situation, but she resisted the urge.

"And you walked me out?"

"Yes."

"I almost…right there…I almost told you."

"Told you what?"

"That I wanted you. That he was nowhere near good enough for you. And when I called him your boyfriend, I wanted you to correct me, say that wasn't the case."

She couldn't help but tease him now. "Is that why you tried to have him killed?" She grinned, hoping he wouldn't be upset with her joke.

His cheeks reddened, "Aw, c'mon."

"Thinking about it," Olivia mused whimsically, "I guess, if you told me you wanted me that badly I would've gone out with you. Just once. To save a life at the very least."

Ed was laughing now. "Okay, okay."

Olivia rubbed his earlobe between her thumb and forefinger. "But, you know what I do remember…about that year?"

What's that?" Ed tilted his face into her hand.

"How you tried to help me."

"You thought I was trying to set you up."

"I was…but then…when we came in to IAB that night before you gave the DA your report? The way you looked at me."

"If it woulda just been the two of us, I would've taken you home."

Amusement filled Olivia's eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"And held you the whole night."

"That would've been nice. Impossible. But nice."

"There was a connection there."

"I don't know about that, but something changed." Olivia put her head back on Ed's chest, content to let him travel down memory lane some more. He seemed to be struggling, still, with lost time, and she appreciated him talking about it even if the process was mired in futility.

"That fall," Ed continued, "With Amaro. Again. God, Liv, you've had some partners."

She scoffed. "Yeah."

"When I saw you, all business, God, that was disappointing."

"You were an ass that morning. That was disappointing."

"But I redeemed myself later."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because you were right."

Olivia smiled, remembering how she'd done a spectacular job of making IAB think Amaro's reinstatement was their idea. "Ahhh."

"But you agreed to have a drink with me."

"I did." After Amaro returned, Tucker brought paperwork to Benson's office for her to read and sign and caught her on the way out. She was headed home to Noah, but he convinced her to have a quick drink, to, in his mind, bury the hatchet. She agreed, but the conversation was all NYPD and she refused to allow him to pay for her wine. The next time, though, when he suggested the bourbon, was different.

Ed kissed the top of her head. "You think we'll tell Noah about all this?"

"Probably, at some point, in bits and pieces." Olivia thought about the two parts of Noah's life and how if it weren't for Judge Linden's surprise decision, his trajectory would have been completely different. "Just like…he'll have to know his history at some point."

"Have you thought much about that?"

"I have. And then I stopped. It was making me crazy, so, we'll just let him lead the way when that time comes."

"Okay." He brushed her hair back, "Hey, come here. I wanna kiss you."

"Sure." Olivia slid her body seductively along his. She was mostly lying on top of him and just barely touching his lips. "I wanna kiss you, too."

Ed's hands drifted from her upper back to her waist as they locked lips. He circled her midsection with his fingertips until they found the button and zipper and he grinned as he felt her lift up a bit, helping him undo her pants. He shoved them as low as he could reach and she shimmied out of them.

"Are we really doing this out here?" She asked, making sure the blanket was still fully covering them and feeling him harden against her.

"I want to…" Ed broke away from her and took a quick look around, "Nobody can see us."

Indeed, the balcony was almost totally enclosed and there was only forest and mountain in the immediate vicinity.

"Okay," Olivia whispered. She fully straddled him and noticed their reflection in the glass sliding door, "Mmmmm," she moaned, kissing him again.

They worked in tandem to rid him of his pants and underwear. She settled on top and he dug his fingers into her hips, not minding this position as long as he had some control over the pace.

"God, Liv."

"This okay?"

He moved a little and a burst of cool air entered their little cocoon making them both gasp with pleasure. Ed couldn't answer. He threw his head back against the cushions and started meeting her body with more force and fighting the impulse to flip them. Another rush of cool air filtered in, heightening both their senses. Olivia put her hands on his chest so she could be more upright, wanting to see their reflection again.

"Oh my God, Ed."

By now, after making love to her who knows how many times, Ed knew her Oh Gods and every other moan, whimper, and scream. This was not, Oh my God Ed that feels so good keep going. This was Oh my God Ed something's wrong.

He stilled. "What is it?"

She fell on top of him. "Noah."

"Where?"

"In there. Awake. Jumping on the bed."

"He see us?"

"I don't know." Olivia groaned as she dismounted and surreptitiously pulled on her clothes. She stood up and draped the blanket over Ed's naked lower body and raised her eyebrows at him shaking in silent laughter.

"I assume we'll be leaving this little story out of the Noah Tucker history?" He quipped.

"Um, yeah." Olivia tilted her head. "I don't think he saw us, or he'd be out here by now."

"I'm surprised it hasn't happened before."

"Me too."

"I'm gonna need a shower."

"So am I. You go first."

"Or, we can hit the pool first?"

Olivia slid open the door and grinned at Noah before poking her head back outside, "You may want to shower, Captain." She suggested, still feeling pangs of arousal that would have to go unsatisfied for now.

Ed splayed his arms out wide and gazed at her lazily. "Nah. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Olivia replied doubtfully.

"As long as…we'll pick this up tonight, right?"

"Sure." Olivia winked, took a deep breath, and went to see about her son.

…

Carisi couldn't help laughing. Brooke was a terrible bowler. There was no hiding it, and she was a good sport about the friendly ribbing. For the first few frames he attempted to coach her, but seeing that it was useless, ordered more beer and amused himself by watching how intently Brooke tried to roll the ball down the center of the lane.

"There ya go!" He shouted encouragingly when she knocked down five pins, "You can pick up the spare here."

She cast a quick, doubtful, glance back at him while she waited for her ball to return.

"Tell ya what," he said, "Spare gets ya…a kiss."

"And if I don't get the spare?" Brooke sassed.

Carisi shrugged, "Still get the kiss. Not as intense though. A peck."

"Okay then." Brooke grabbed the ball, took a few steps, and flung it down the alley without aiming. It looked headed for the gutter but then straightened out, hit the pins just right, and…spare.

Overcome with a sense of accomplishment, Brooke grinned from ear to ear and rushed over to Sonny for her kiss which he happily provided.

"Aha! We found your strategy…and that is to not have one!"

"I guess so," she replied and took a seat in his lap. "So…what do you have in mind for tonight? It's our last night without Sarah."

"Lieu and Tucker coming home tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Late. I think…midnightish."

"It's been good this week, just the two of us in the apartment, right?"

Brooke wrapped her arms around Sonny's neck and kissed his forehead. "It has been…but…I'm still not there yet."

"No pressure, like I said, but, I'm glad we had this opportunity. To see."

"Me too."

"Now," Sonny rose and gently guided Brooke to her feet, "Let's see what I can do. Tenth frame. Three strikes. Here we go."

"Three strikes?" Brooke mused, "You're getting more than a kiss if you make that happen."

Sonny's face turned red, "Aw, man…do I go with my regular form or take a page outta the Brooke Tucker playbook and just chuck it…"

"I'd stick with what ya know," Brooke replied and watched in amazement as Sonny nodded and proceeded to back up his trash talk by rolling three strikes in a row.

….

The next morning Sarah rolled over, opened her eyes, and, before she got her bearings and remembered last night, was momentarily startled at the man sleeping soundly next to her.

Time, time, what time is it? She rolled over again in the opposite direction and squinted at her Dad's digital clock.

"Hey." She nudged him gently and once more, this time with more force. "I have to go to work. And…you can't stay here."

He mumbled something and then woke with a start, like Sarah, a little fuzzy from the previous night. "I'm up. I'll get outta here."

Sarah had already been in and out of the bathroom and had started the shower. She tossed him his clothes a little too aggressively and his belt, still looped around his pants, flapped against the headboard.

"Oh fuck."

She rushed over to inspect the spot where the buckle collided with the mahogany.

"Shit."

"What?"

"There's a ding in the wood. Fuck."

He, too, assessed the damage. "You can hardly notice it. Just a scrape. If we come back here tonight I can bring something to cover it up. Will look just like new."

Sarah frowned at his presumptuousness, but she was planning to invite him over for a final night. "Fine," she muttered, "But Olivia and my Dad are going to be back tomorrow night, so we have to make this place look exactly like it did when we came here."

"Of course," he said, "It's Saturday anyway. We'll have time."

"Okay. I have to move. I'll see you later."

Sarah retreated to the shower. Standing in front of another couple's full-length mirror, her date pulled on his black dress pants and tucked in his crisp white dress shirt. Satisfied with his appearance, he shoved his tie in his pocket and found his socks and shoes. After a final scan to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, he departed.

…..

The flight attendants immediately fell in love with Noah. Ed and Olivia booked first class seats, and he climbed into his gigantic chair and expertly handled the seatbelt, needing Ed's assistance only to securely click the buckle. He leaned over and requested his headphones from Olivia, and she passed him the child-sized set. Noah had no problem plugging the cord into the iPad.

"Well, this one's traveled before," one attendant remarked with a smile.

Ed's face shone with pride, "Yeah he has. Went to Paris last year."

"Well. Welcome aboard. What can I get you to drink, young man?"

Noah glanced at Ed.

"He'll have an apple juice. And, I'll have whatever whiskey you have and a ginger ale."

"Want it mixed?"

"No, bring the soda separate, please."

Olivia ordered her wine. Ed hated that she was across the aisle, but first class seats were arranged in pairs and Ed refused to book anything in coach. If Noah fell asleep, they could consolidate.

The drinks arrived promptly and Ed and Olivia toasted with their plastic cups. Ed simpered sweetly at her, leaned across the aisle, and they connected for a brief kiss. Returning to his seat, he picked up his phone and sent Olivia a text.

Wish we had a balcony at home…

At the thought of last night's successful second attempt at balcony sex, Olivia became flushed. Her reaction amused Ed and he continued the torture-by-phone.

You're a little red, Lieutenant.

Ed chuckled at the eye roll he received in response.

Maybe, the roof at home sometime?

Olivia held up her phone so Ed could see her set it to airplane mode. They were beginning to taxi anyway, so Ed didn't protest and instead used the dimmed lighting to sneak a few ginger ale sips to Noah.

In the air, Noah busied himself with his drawing app, but he had created and saved so many pictures that the iPad sent him continual warnings that storage was getting low.

"Daddy," he lifted the iPad as close to Ed's face as he could reach.

Ed read the message. "Oh," he hit ok and handed it back only to have Noah repeat "Daddy" and show him the message again. Ed turned to his wife who was happily flipping through a magazine. "Liv, do you know how to fix this?"

She glanced peripherally, "his pictures need to be transferred to the cloud."

"How do I do that?"

"Need wifi."

Ed shifted in his seat and pulled his wallet from his back pocket.

Olivia reminded him of their layover. "They'll have wifi in Denver."

"He needs it now," Ed took the iPad from Noah and navigated the wifi payment process. Once connected, the message permanently disappeared. "There, bud. Here ya go."

Noah impatiently took the device back and murmured, "Thank you."

Ed rustled his hair, "You're welcome." Satisfied and smirking, he sat back in his chair and sipped his whiskey, knowing Olivia was eyeing him with an incredulous but extremely affectionate expression.

Noah concentrated on his artwork with pursed lips and when Ed engaged him in conversation, he replied but his eyes did not leave his work in progress.

"That's a great picture, bud."

"It da mountains."

"Yeah. Didja like the mountains?"

"Uh-huh! And da moose. And da…whass dat ovver one?"

"Bison? It was brown?"

"Uh-huh. And da big water!"

He meant Old Faithful.

Noah's chatter increased as he recalled other sights, and Ed realized that even though he and Olivia would not have considered this the best trip they had ever taken, their little boy had soaked up every minute.

"What else, pal?" Ed prompted after he fell silent.

"We climb high! And da people look little!"

Ed took out his phone and began recording video.

"And it snowy up dare but down here," he pointed to a section of his drawing, "It warm!"

"You gonna draw the hotel?"

"Uh-huh! Da slides and pool! I jump! And splash!"

"Really fun, pal."

"I jump on da bed, too!"

Olivia heard this and swatted Ed's arm.

"Oh yeah? I didn't see ya jump on the bed."

"Nope!" Noah exclaimed cheerfully and, with a flourish, put a finishing touch on his drawing. "I watch Bob." Noah put on his headphones and navigated to Minions. Ed put up the armrest so Noah could lean against him while he watched. Ed tilted his head back to Olivia who was desperate to know whether or not Noah had actually seen anything X-rated on the balcony.

"We're good," he rasped.

Relieved, Olivia sighed, tousled Ed's short hair, and went back to her reading.

…

The taxi carrying the Tuckers came to a stop in front of their building later that night. Mostly due to the time change, Noah was not yet asleep, so Ed and Olivia could easily make one trip upstairs.

"Goddamn," Ed muttered, wiping his brow as he hoisted the second suitcase from the trunk, "It's humid as hell." He thought Noah was out of earshot, but he cringed when he heard his son's little voice.

"Damn," he cooed, too sweetly for the word.

"Noah," Olivia corrected him softly, "Little boys don't say that word. It's an adult word."

"Sorry, bud. Shouldnta said that. Bad Daddy."

"Timeout for Daddy!" Noah announced cheerfully.

"Yeah, Mommy'll put me in timeout."

"Brookey in timeout too!"

"Oh yeah?" Ed asked curiously.

"Uh-huh. Brookey say DAMN at da beach."

"Well, the next time we see her, we'll put her in timeout, too."

"Kay!" Noah giggled at the thought of both his sister and his Daddy getting punished.

After a two-minute search for their keys, Ed unlocked and pushed open the door, but he immediately held out his arm, barring Olivia and Noah from entering. Too many lights were on.

"Stay out in the hall," Ed said, wishing he had his weapon.

Olivia didn't speak but her expression demanded answers.

"Someone's in there."

"It's probably one of the girls," Olivia said. Of course, they both knew Sarah and Brooke had their apartment keys, but there had been no discussion of either of the girls coming over to their apartment for any reason.

"Maybe. But, stay here."

"Okay."

"Mommy?"

"Hang on, sweet boy. Daddy's checking something." She patted Noah's head reassuringly, "It's ok."

Ed stepped gingerly through the foyer. The living room and kitchen were empty. Next, he inspected the office and found Sarah splayed out on the old brown leather couch. A blanket covered her, but Ed could tell she wasn't wearing much else.

"Daddy," she gasped.

"Hi," Ed said inquisitively.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"No," Sarah sat up, holding the blanket to her and looking past Ed, "Why are you back today?"

"Today's when we planned to be back. What are you—" Ed heard footsteps behind him and assumed it was Olivia, so his face hardened when he heard a male's voice followed by the visage of Sarah's barely-clothed guest.

"What the hell?" Ed muttered.

"Ed? Ed? Is everything okay?" Olivia grew impatient with Ed's inspection and entered despite his instructions.

"Daddy!" Noah trotted in.

"Daddy," Sarah said, "Calm down."

Both he and Olivia stopped in their tracks at the sight of Sarah wearing the blanket as a toga and Ed and her date standing inches apart, face-to-face.

Olivia dropped the bags she was carrying. She knew the look on her husband's face.

"Ed," she implored, stepping between them.

"Hi Sare bear," Noah greeted his sister happily, oblivious to the tension in the room.

She responded with her typical "hi, Noey," but gaped, slack-jawed, at the scene in front of her, trying to figure out what to say.

…

#Tuckson