Sidney
This was a really bad idea. I told Anna, promised her actually, that I would stay away from her and Rossi while he was at the rink interviewing her and yet here I am at her office door looking at the two of them. Anna looks pissed and Rossi looks amused. He's probably hoping for another altercation and I would love to accommodate him. I give my head a mental shake, ignoring the instinctive need to put my fist in his face, and get to what I intended when I made the detour to Anna's office.
"I'm sorry to interrupt" I say to them both and walk into the room. Looking solely at Rossi, I say "Rossi, I want to apologize for what happened the other day. I never should have hit you and I'm sorry that it happened."
I hold out my hand and wait. He looks confused, then wary, and then holds out his hand to shake mine. He says nothing, simply shakes and nods, and then I turn and leave the room without a backward glance.
I did a lot of thinking last night and realized that my parents raised me better than to go around punching reporters no matter how much they might deserve it. Regardless of the promise that I made to Anna, I had to apologize to Rossi to clear my own conscience and I knew where he would be first thing this morning. I can now focus on fulfilling my promise and will stay away from Anna and Rossi the rest of the day.
"Did you do it?" Tanger asks me when I walk into the change room.
"Yeah" I reply. "I almost choked on it but I apologized to the ass."
"Your mama would be proud."
I laugh.
"Yeah, but my girlfriend is going to be pissed" I tell him.
"You'll explain it to her. From my experience, women like a man with a strong sense of ethics." He frowns. "That's right, ethics?"
Even after all of these years, he still can get tripped up on some English words.
"Yeah, that's right" I tell him.
Geno walks in the room and starts showing new pictures of his son who he took to the batting cages for the first time yesterday. He used to show us pictures of his hot girlfriends, vacations, and fish he caught non vacation but, for the past few years, it's been all about babies. Actually, all of my close friends have been talking babies for a while now. It makes me think about the family that Anna and I will have someday. She's going to be a great mom. We haven't really talked about family and having kids. I wonder how many she wants to have. She won't want to keep working, will she? Unfortunately, wives of hockey players do most of the work for the family while the guys play and it's a full time job for them.
Practice goes by quickly and thankfully so does the media scrum. From my locker, I can see Rossi standing beside Anna at her usual spot in the doorway to the locker room. He must be asking her questions because he writes down what she's saying to him. Hopefully he isn't being too much of an ass with his question and will be accurate with her answers.
At home later, it's hard to fall asleep for my nap because my brain keeps running over and over the conversation with Rossi in Anna's office. I guess it wasn't a conversation. I clearly remember Anna's face and can only pray that she'll give me the opportunity to explain why I did it before she yells at me. Taylor arrives tomorrow so maybe Anna will meet me after the game tonight so that we can talk. I really want her to spend time with Taylor and any tension between Anna and I will be counterproductive. I pick up my phone.
'Can we meet after the game?' I text to Anna.
'Tonight?' I receive back after a few minutes.
'Yes'
She makes me wait, longer than is comfortable, but she gives me the answer I want.
'Sure, how about my hotel room?'
Her hotel? I guess that's private.
'Sure, I'll meet you there' I tell her.
I'm able to put phone aside and finally fall asleep for my pre-game nap.
Anna
It's taken me all day, but I've finally worked off the 'mad' I've been feeling since Sid showed up at my office. I was surprised when he apologized to Rossi and, from the look on Rossi's face, I'd say that Sid took him by surprise too. When I finally stopped being mad, I realized that I should talk to Sid and find out why he did it when I specifically asked him to stay away from us today. My fear is that he's going to say that he wanted to make sure that I was ok and then we'll be back where we started with Sid not trusting me of my abilities.
At least Rossi has behaved himself and been less ass-like thank I thought. We also won the game so everyone is in a good mood and that always ends the day well. Rossi and I parted at my office, my debt being fulfilled, and I'm walking back to my hotel. Part of me is looking forward to seeing Sid. No matter what's going on or how ticked off I am, I miss him and it will be wonderful to spend some time with him this evening.
I say hello to the front desk staff as I pass them. The employees pay special attention to long term residents and I've enjoyed getting to know the night team especially. They know I work for the Pens and I always stop by and talk about the game with them.
"Sorry guys, I have to head upstairs directly" I tell them when I pass.
I almost don't see Sid sitting in a lobby chair as I walk to the elevator. He's sitting in a shadowed area probably so that he won't be recognized.
"Hi" he says as he stands.
"Hi" I reply.
We walk in silence to the elevator and then up to my room. Sid stays near the front door while I put down my purse and take off my coat.
"Come on in" I tell him and gesture to the sitting area.
I get us each a bottle of water and then join Sid. He takes a long drink when I hand him the water and I do the same. We need to talk but how do we start.
"Can I explain what happened this morning?" Sid asks.
"Yeah, I'd like that" I tell him.
For a moment, Sid looks surprised by my response but then he replies.
"I meant it when I agreed not to bother you and Rossi today, in fact, I avoided you the rest of the day. I still think that Rossi is an ass and I'd love to punch that smug smile off his face every time I see it; but, I know that it wasn't the right thing to do and could have additional consequences beyond the agreement that you made with him. Anyway, that's why I apologized to him. I knew that he'd be meeting you at your office so I met you guys there."
I think about what he's said and it sounds exactly like something Sid would do; or, rather, what the old Sid would do before he became insanely obsessed with my ability to do my job. This is the Sid I fell in love with and whom I still love; he's ethical, principled and does the right thing. I feel deep relief that he wasn't interfering in my job. His reasoning was simply to do the right thing after he's done something he feels is wrong.
"Oh" is all I say.
"Oh?"
"Sorry" I chuckle. "That sounds exactly like something you would want to do."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"I mean that you wanting to apologize to that ass is just like you."
"Oh."
"A heads up would have been nice but I understand why you did it Sid. I loved the look on Rossi's face after you left. He was stunned and flabbergasted at the same time. It was hilarious."
"How did the rest of the day go?"
"It went quickly which was the goal. I had a lot of meetings so I was I only alone with Rossi a couple of times. His questions were exactly as expected so I had answers for them. It's out of my hands now and he's going to write whatever story he wants, we can't control it, so it's done."
"I really am sorry that I put you in the position to have to make that deal Anna. It was stupid and I can only promise that it won't happen again. Ok?"
"Ok" I reply and smile.
Excepting his apology is easy because it didn't piss me off that Sid punched Rossi but rather the reason why he did it. Just like understanding why he apologized to Rossi today doesn't eliminate the 'why' he did it. That's still an issue for us.
"How did the day go other than Rossi?" he asks me.
"It was crazy, as usual, but went ok" I tell him. "I think we've established a rhythm that everyone on the team is happy with and can follow. The next road trip is planned and everyone knows their assignments. I've given Adam more responsibility. He's ready for it and really eager to take on more and broader work."
"That's great and frees you up for other things I guess."
I almost sigh at his words. Is he, once again, telling me that I need help and that the job is too big for me?
"It's helpful, yes" I tell him.
"Do you want to go with me to the airport tomorrow to pick up Taylor?" he asks me.
I think about it and decide against it.
"Maybe I should meet you later so that you guys can catch up first" I tell him.
"Ok" he frowns. "You still want to meet her, right?"
"Of course I do" I reply. "I can't wait to meet Taylor and grill her for details about a young Sidney. She must have some dirt."
Sid chuckles and settles back in his chair, physically appearing more comfortable now.
"Why don't we have dinner at my place?" Sid asks. "I can barbeque some steaks and keep track of the family secrets that Taylor decides to spill."
"I'd like that Sidney."
"Good."
Our conversation isn't strained but it is awkward. I desperately want the simplicity back in our relationship when we felt at ease with each other in any situation. Right now, it's like we don't know what to say or how to act.
"This is weird" Sid says.
"What is?"
"Me being in your hotel room, having to figure out what to say and how to say it to you, it all feels very weird."
"I was thinking something similar."
Sid smiles, stands and joins me on the sofa.
"I also don't like being that far away from you" he says.
Sid turns his body so that he's facing me and slings his arm over the back of the sofa. I cross my legs so that I'm turned toward him too. I feel the usual electricity spark between us and I'm drawn to him. Sid must feel it too because his eyes glance down to lips as I run my tongue lightly over them. I can almost taste his lips on mine the sense memory is so strong.
"How did we get here?" leaves my lips as the words pass through my mind.
"Wasn't this supposed to be easy?" Sid asks rhetorically. "We were back together, living in the same home and working in the same place. It was supposed to be simple."
"Yeah, that's what I thought too. We were both wrong."
"Yeah" he replies.
"This is hardly easy."
"It definitely isn't simple."
"Was it ever?" I ask.
"I thought it was, before, you know."
I know he's thinking about how I lied to him two years ago. He thought our relationship was simple but it was anything but simple.
"Where do we go from here?" I ask him.
Sid shrugs.
"You know, the guys have told me that I didn't really deal with what happened when we broke up and that I'll never move past it if I don't. I'll never trust you if I don't."
That makes me smile.
"My friends" I begin. "My friends tell me that I haven't asked you about the time we were apart to learn about what you went through so that I can understand you better."
"My friends are right" Sid says softly and shifts so that he's closer to me.
"So are mine" I reply and slide closer to Sid on the sofa. "Where does that leave us?" I ask again.
Sid runs the back of his fingers down my temple and cheek until he's cupping my face.
"Fuck if I know" he growls.
We move together and meet in the middle lips first. I feel like a starving woman and only Sidney can fill me up. My lips move eagerly, sliding over his and revelling in his unique flavour. I moan and Sid takes advantage of the opening by sliding his tongue through my lips and over mine. The familiar feelings flowing through my body settle deep inside and between my legs.
Sid's free hand at my waist pulls me onto his lap and I go willingly. My skirt slides up my thighs as I straddle his waist and my hips tilt when his hand runs under the back of my skirt. My hands make quick work to loosen his tie and undo the first few buttons of his shirt that I find there. With his neck exposed, I slide my lips over his jaw and down neck. His groan excites me as much as his nimble fingers finding the flesh exposed above my stockings. They slide up the back of my thighs further until he reaches the hem of my panties. Of course he doesn't stop there, thank god. It only takes a few moments for those clever fingers to find their goal, between my hot, wet folds. It's always a wonder to me how quickly my body responds to his touch.
I seek his lips again where my moans are smothered. I bite down on his bottom lip and then sooth with my tongue. When I repeat the action, Sid's hips thrust up hard and fast, seeking the same coupling that I know I desperately need too. Should we do this? We've figure nothing out, solved none of our issues, but my body doesn't seem to care and it's beginning to overwhelm my mind. Before it prevents me from any sane thoughts, I push back from Sid so that there is space between us but I'm still on his lap. His fingers slide back to my hips and I instantly feel bereft.
I lean my forehead against his and we both try to catch our breath. The hard muscles in his chest beneath my fingers make them itch to touch his bare skin. I exert all of my willpower to stop my thoughts from becoming actions.
"This is so hard" Sid whispers.
"I can tell" I reply.
We both chuckle at my lame joke.
"I don't want you to move but maybe you should" Sid tells me.
I agree and slide off of his lap so that I'm sitting next to him on the sofa. I lift my hips to slide my skirt down and Sid shifts to make himself more comfortable. When his arm reaches around my shoulders, I lean into him and lay my head against his shoulder. I sigh when he kisses my forehead.
"I guess there's nothing wrong with this part of our relationship" I whisper.
"There never has been" Sid says and kisses my temple. "You need to stop that if you don't want to finish it."
I look down at my hand running up and down his thigh. I didn't even realize that I was doing it until I looked down and saw my hand moving.
Suddenly, I don't want to stop. I always feel closer to Sidney when we make love and the emptiness deep inside of me cries out with need. Following my head has gotten me nowhere so far. I'm working constantly, seeing Sid only infrequently, and I'm miserable. Maybe it's time that I add my heart back into the mix. Decision made, I stand up in front of Sid who looks puzzled.
"First" I begin. "I'd like you to plan a date for us next week on your day off. I'll take the whole day off too and we'll spend it together. Ok?"
He still looks puzzled but nods.
"Good, now second, I'd love to have dinner with you and your sister tomorrow at your house and then I'll ask her to have lunch with me the next day after practice. I think it would be great to spend some time with her alone. Ok?"
He smiles now and nods again.
"Good" I say again and hold my hand out to him. "Finally, I'd very much like you to come with me to the bedroom and make love with me. Ok?"
His smile widens, he stands and takes my hand, and nods again.
We walk hand in hand until we're at the foot of my bed where Sid takes off his jacket and tie while I unbutton my blouse. Next, I step out of my shoes and unzip my skirt so that it falls to the floor. Sid unbuckles his belt, unzips his pants and they follow my skirt.
Before I can remove any more clothing, Sid drops to his knees in front of me and slowly roles down first one of my stockings and then the other. When he stands again, I deftly unbutton his shirt and slide it off of his shoulders, then pull the hem of his tee shirt up over his head. I can't resist running my hands over the hard planes of his chest and, when I get to his stomach, I feel Sid shiver as my fingers trace each muscle.
I lean in, take a quick lick of his lips and then slide one hand inside of his shorts to cup him. I'm always amazed at how hard and smooth he feels pulsing in my hand. His breath quickly becomes laboured as I slowly stroke his hard length. Sid is still as a statue except for the steady movement of his chest up and down with each breath.
Slowly I push him back until he backs into the bed. Now it's my turn to drop to my knees and I pull his shorts down so that he springs free. With one hand, I push Sid so that he's sitting on the bed but before I can grab him again, with my lips this time, Sid pulls me down to the bed and twists us so that he's on top of me.
"My turn" he says.
Sid kisses my lips, down my neck and over the swells of my breasts. He pulls down the straps of my bra and then the cups to release my breasts to his mouth. Sid's lips close over my nipple and his fingers nimbly unhook and release my bra, throwing it to follow our other clothes onto the floor.
"You've become leaner here" he says as his fingers slide over my waist. "And here" he says sliding over my hips while pulling down my panties. "But thank god" he begins as his fingers cup my breasts now. "Thank god you aren't leaner here."
His teeth lightly bite down on my nipple while his fingers dig into the curves of my breasts. His plump lips suck to sooth and then his teeth sink into my nipple again. Fuck, this man knows exactly how to play my body. Before I can adjust, his lips travel further down, over my stomach, skipping the junction between my legs, and to my inner thigh. My hips shift, needing his lips where I'm most desperate, then I can feel Sidney chuckle against my skin.
"Patience baby" he whispers.
Sid continues to kiss down my thigh and pulls my panties to follow his lips. He takes his time, too much time for my preference, but he does make his way back up my other thigh until he reaches where I'm desperate to feel him. Fuck, he keeps going up my stomach and to my breasts again. Before Sid can move further, I push him back and reverse our positions so that I'm straddling his waist.
I run my fingers up and down his chest scraping lightly with my nails. Sid's groan encourages me and I add more pressure. His fingers dig into the soft flesh at my waist and he groans again. I slide down to follow my fingers with my mouth and lick and kiss my way across his chest. I love the smell and taste of his skin and can feel my own body reacting to his.
Sidney
This woman makes me lose my balance constantly. First, she makes me promise to take her on a date. Then she brings me into the bedroom to make love with her. Now, she's completely taken over and doing things to my body that I hope will never stop. Her fingers, lips and tongue are everywhere and I can barely keep up with the pleasure running through my body.
Anna sits up, straddling my hips, and I can't take my eyes off of her. My fingers have taken down bun so that her hair flows over her shoulders in a wavy mess that's sexy as hell. Her beasts are full and nipples hard from my early ministrations. Her mouth, oh fuck, her mouth is plump and wet making me desperate to taste it again.
That's the last coherent thought I have. The rest of my thoughts are fragments of feelings and sensations. Anna positions herself directly over me and slowly sinks down. She's wet, hot and tight as I fill her completely. Her long moan makes me harder so that I think I might explode immediately and I need to focus to last longer. It's been too long since I've been buried in this perfect place.
I instinctively know that Anna wants to take control so I wait for her to set the pace. Slowly, Anna begins to rock her hips so that I slip shallowly in and out. When she rocks back, I rub lightly over her clit and she moans each time until it is one, long moan. Again, I need to focus hard so that I don't simply blow.
With her legs so wide to straddle my hips, I'm able to see and touch her while she continues to ride me. Anna cries out when my thumb pushes down on her clit and then louder when I push and rub simultaneously. Her hands reach back to each rest on each thigh and that thrusts her hips further forward into my hand. I rub harder and faster and her hips speed up in response.
The need to feel her skin against mine, to feel her heat fully against me, is too overwhelming so I sit up and encircle her waist with my arms pulling her to me. This stops her movements, her wild eyes find mine and her hands rest on my shoulders.
I lightly kiss her lips, keeping my eyes open so that I can watch hers, and slowly begin thrusting up. Anna tilts her hips each time to meet me. I watch her as I slowly speed up my thrusts and she continues to follow. Her lips part as her breath speeds up and she looks her most glorious and beautiful. I can feel her tighten around me as her orgasm approaches. Finally, her eyes close, her head rolls back, and her orgasm washes over her. Thankfully I can let go and three more thrusts is all I need.
I fall back and bring Anna with me while she convulses and shakes. I love the feeling of her warm body resting on mine, lying in my arms, and her breath against my chest. She is straddling my hips although I have softened and slipped out of her. Her breath slows and she starts to shift. I hold her tight against me.
"I must be heavy" she says.
"Not a bit" I tell her. "Please don't move."
"Ok" she says and I can feel her smile against my chest. "This is exactly what I needed."
"Glad I could oblige" I tell her and shift my hips slightly to rub against her.
"Not that" she says. "Although I definitely liked that, a lot. No, it's this moment that I needed. I never feel closer to you than after we make love."
"Me too" I admit, not realizing the truth until I say it.
"It's so hard to describe how I feel Sidney. I'm confused and disappointed and scared and, shit, I don't know what else I'm feeling. I simply knew that I had to feel this" she presses her lips briefly to my chest. "I had to feel this again."
"I'm not completely clear how I feel either" I admit, not realizing the truth in these words either until I say them. Hmm, maybe I should process my thoughts out loud more often. "This is what I needed too."
"It doesn't fix anything" she says.
"Yeah, I know" I agree. "But I have a date to plan."
I can feel her smiling again.
"I can't wait" she tells me. "And I'm really looking forward to spending time with Taylor. I know how important she is to you."
"You'll love her, I'm sure."
I lightly rub my hand up and down her spin and Anna sighs. She shifts her head and leaves a few light kisses on my chest.
"I'll need a little time to rest if you want another round babe" I joke but it's still true.
Anna rolls to my side and I'm surprised when she pulls me with her so that I'm lying on top of her body with her legs and arms encircling me.
"Now I'm definitely too heavy" I tell her.
"You're going to laugh at me but I love the feeling of your body on top of mine, pressing down on me, between my legs. I don't know, it's hard to explain."
"Then don't" I tell her. "I love being able to look into your beautiful eyes and see you smile up at me."
Anna's fingers run lightly up and down my spine while I brush her hair back from her face. I'm holding a lot of my weight on my elbows so I don't crush her no matter what she says.
"This is exactly what I needed" she says. "Everything is perfect in this moment."
She frowns and casts her eyes away from mine.
"What?" I ask.
"Maybe I shouldn't go back to work" she says. "If that's what's keeping us apart then maybe I should stop doing it."
Part of me wants to shout 'yes!' and part of me knows it isn't the right thing for Anna or for us. But if all of our arguments are about her work then quitting would stop the arguments, right? I'm so confused. When Anna looks up at me, she looks so sad that I know what I must do regardless of my unanswered questions.
"No" I tell her. "You can't do that Anna. You love what you do and you were right when you said a few weeks ago that the boredom of being only a girlfriend would kill you. We can't be happy together if we're both not happy on our own. I've learned that much from watching my friends and their relationships."
"Where does that leave us?" she asks and I watch her eyes fill with tears.
I shift to my side, so that Anna and I are facing each other, and then I pull the comforter over us.
"It leaves us exactly where we were thirty minutes ago babe. We're trying to figure everything out, together."
Anna
Sid is right, we haven't gained any ground but, thankfully, we haven't lost any either. The hope I was feeling slides quickly away but sadness doesn't fill its place. Maybe I was hoping for an easy fix to our problems by sleeping with Sid but it has brought me some peace. I cup Sid's cheek.
"Yes we are still trying to figure things out, together" I agree and have an idea. "I think we should plan to do something together every day. We can have lunch or dinner."
"Or a sleep over" he says and winks at me.
"I like that idea" I reply. Then I remember something that Matt said. "Sidney, what did you do after we broke up?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know that Sully joined the team and you guys won the Stanley Cup, but what else were you doing? What else happened for you?"
He looks away and I can clearly see pain on his face as he remembers that time. I feel guilt settle in my chest knowing that I put that pain there.
"After you left, I only focused on one thing, hockey, but my game was shit. We had a longer Christmas break than usual so I went back home for a few days. Actually, I didn't talk or think about hockey that whole time. I focused on enjoying the holiday and family and friends. It was, I don't know, healing for me."
"When you went back after Christmas, you lit up the league" I say.
"You knew?"
"Well, I didn't stop following the Pens just because I left. I was so happy to see how well you and the team were playing and when you won the Cup, I thought it would kill me during that last game waiting for the end of the third period."
I can still remember the fear and frustration of watching the clock slowly run down. Sid was on the ice for almost the entire last three minutes.
"It was an exciting time" Sid says. "The parade was incredible with almost three hundred thousand people in Pittsburgh. Of course there were more people at the parade in Cole Harbour than actually lived in town. We had a massive party at my house like in 2009 for friends and family. I also had the volunteers from the hockey school."
He's been smiling widely as he recounts the time after winning the Cup but now he frowns and furrows his brow.
"What?" I ask.
"It was a great time but, um, during the oddest moments I would turn to share something with you or pick up my phone to call."
"And I wasn't there" I finish softly.
"No."
"I wish that I had been there to share it with you."
He gives me a small smile and then rolls onto his back, pulling me with him so that I'm cuddled under his arm. I wish that things could have been different and regret that I couldn't be with Sidney to celebrate his success. I feel horrible that, during a time of extreme highs, Sid was sad that I wasn't there with him. Matt and Adam were right and I desperately need to understand what Sid went through while we were apart. It has made him who he is now and I need to make sure that I know the real Sidney just as I insist that he needs to know the real me.
"Good night" Sidney whispers and kisses the top of my head.
"Good night."