Chapter 3: Excuses
Tanner heard the yelling as he was standing just inside the door to the spare room, when James stormed out of M's room and down the stairs out of the house.
Once Bill was sure Bond was gone he headed over to knock on M's door. As he waited for her to answer he received a text message.
I'm out! The bitch is all yours.
Christ...what the hell happened? M opens the door and Tanner can see by her red eyes that she has been crying.
"M...what happened? Are you alright?"
M just moves away from the door and hobbles back to her bed.
Tanner begins to get angry. What the hell did he do to her! And after he warned him not to push her. He is angry and a little frightened to know the answer to this next question.
"Bond didn't hurt you did he?"
"That depends on your definition of hurt. In this case, no he did not harm me physically. I think I inflicted much more damage on him and his bloody massive ego, than he emotionally hurt me. Damn it Bill! I am too bloody old for all of this drama!"
They both sit on the edge of her bed. "Tell me M."
M looks at him and sighs. "He kissed me."
"What!"
M looks at him confused. "You were the one who told me of his interest, why does that surprise you so?"
"Because, I told Bond to give you space and take it very slow, that's why."
"Bill you and I both know how well James Bond listens to orders."
"Yes." Bill sighs, "in one ear and out the other. In his defence he does manage to get the job done."
"Yes, but Bill...this time the job was me."
Tanner clears his throat uncomfortably after her remark. "Yes...of course...sorry M. I should have sent him home but he was adamant that he should look after you. I suppose I should have guessed he meant...in that way."
"I don't think that was the main reason for it Bill. Put your mind at ease. You didn't give me up like a lamb to slaughter and he would never push it...well far enough that I would have had to scream for your help."
Tanner palms his face and grimaces. "But M...if he had? I could hardly have provided the protection you needed against him. I'm kicking myself. I will double your guards and he will not break in again. I will contact Q branch in the morning and have this place completely rewired against Bond."
"Fine. For once I agree with your overly paranoid ways Tanner. I don't want him to end up here drunk and…"
"I know M. Now I am worried about leaving you alone tomorrow night."
"No. You and I need to start work fresh Monday morning. Damn!"
"What?"
"Bond has to debrief at 11:00 remember."
"Shit! Do you want me to change it?"
"No we had better just get it over with and send him away as soon as possible."
"He will not be happy about that."
"I know Bill and he bloody well knows that I will do it too. He accused me of as much while we were in the bath."
Tanner's eyes go wide.
"Not like that Tanner! I was helping clean his wounds after his shower."
Tanner's eyes have still not turned back to normal envisioning M playing Florence Nightingale to Bond.
"What happened to have him run out? Did you threaten to send him to Siberia for six months again?"
"No, but he concluded during our fight that, exactly this might happen."
"Are you avoiding the details on purpose M?"
"Yes, I suppose I might be."
"And why is that?"
"Because I was horrible to him...and at the time...I caved..." M pauses and takes a breath feeling guilty for the way she treated James but then the guilt turns. "Well I had the bloody right to be angry! How dare he kiss me in my bath and try to charm his way into my bed! Who the bloody hell does he think I am!?"
Tanner pulls back from her sudden flash tirade. "What exactly did he say M?"
"He wanted to get me into bed. Bond's put out, and very pissy about the amount of time he believes it will take him to get me there. Apparently, I am shattering his record for time taken to seduce a mark and he can't understand why!"
"WHAT! That rat bastard! M...I will deal with him for the debrief on Monday. I think there is an appointment with someone at Whitehall that I can move to the same time. I will have Eve take you, to help. Let me deal with Bond."
"Fine. Now let's get some sleep Tanner."
"Is your foot giving you any pain?"
"A bit."
"I will refill your water and you take another tablet and sleep in late this morning."
"Sounds good, if my internal clock will allow it."
Tanner smiles and goes to the bath. He picks up all the used first aid supplies and tosses them away and put the kit back together and picks up what can only be Bond's towel on the floor.
That bloody idiot blew it! Why can he never listen to the voice of reason? M should have nothing to do with him after this and as far as he is concerned, never see him face to face again.
Tanner can, and will arrange M's schedule with the help of Eve. James Bond need never be in her direct presence in the foreseeable future.
Tanner brings the fresh water and pill to M who is now resting up against her pillows.
"Thank you Bill. You are a gift."
"No problem M. I will see you later in the morning and I will make us breakfast."
M pats his hand where it rests on her arm. Bill leans in and kisses her on the cheek.
"Goodnight M."
"Goodnight Bill."
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Bond sits in the cab fuming in anger at M. Fuck her! He can have any woman he wants!
"Pull over here. I need a drink."
Bond pays the cabbie and enters the pub. There is some sort of party going on. This explains why they are open this late. Bond moves towards the bar and orders a martini. The bartender says beer only.
Bond pays for the beer and turns to survey the room. There are people of all ages, in various stages of drunkenness.
M doesn't want him...the bitch!
Bond will find someone who does. It won't be hard. M can stay frigid and alone. He no longer cares.
Tanner will sleep with her, and she would bloody well let him!
Why?
James could care less. There is a blond woman watching him. This will not be hard.
M is too hard and cold to even understand the levels of passion he could bring her too.
"Hi handsome."
"Hello."
"You here alone?"
"Yes."
"You have anyone?"
"What?"
"Are you married, living with a girl...otherwise occupied?"
"No." His mind flashes to the way she looked in her bathroom as she tended his painful cuts.
"Do you want to come home with me?"
Bond desperately wants to say yes but he cannot stop hearing M in his head.
What the bloody hell does that mean? What do you expect from me? Should I let you undress me here, against my tub and let you have your way with me just because you are God's bloody gift to women!
"Bitch." Slips out of Bond's mouth as if he were speaking to his...nothing now. M is his boss and that is all she wants to be apparently.
The woman frowns at him. "Whatever, you arrogant ass!" She turns and walks away.
Bond meant M...damn it! He cannot get her out of his head. He downs his pint and gets another.
The blonde woman has now alerted all her female friends about Bond's verbal attack. That group of women will not be available to him.
There is an attractive woman in her forties eyeing him and James smiles at her. He wait for her to come to him. Suddenly there is a sour taste in his mouth and it is not from the beer.
FUCK!
He doesn't care...doesn't care...no...M's dead to him now.
A cold pit forms in his stomach, as the reality of the thought of M dead, hits him. His hand begins to shake and he ignores the woman coming towards him and heads for the door.
The fresh air does nothing to help. M lying cold and dead floods his senses. Why the death fantasy...because death follows him.
Skyfall. M could have died there in his arms. It was so cold and she was so very pale as the helicopters came. Even the thought of her death fills him with dread and panic. Bond was no stranger to fear and death, he is usually the cause.
At Skyfall James Andrew Bond relearned true fear. The pit in his stomach seems to be giving him acid reflux. James has not had anything to eat in an age. What they serve on the plane cannot be considered food and drink is all he had.
Having M piss him off horribly, isn't helping his stomach any. M wanted him...he could bloody feel it in her kiss! Then she became all prim and proper, pretending her heart wasn't pounding loudly in her ears as his was.
Bond knows when a woman melts for him...it is not like it hasn't happened many times before.
It is all appearances to M. James Bond is a Scottish landowner with money and a face that makes women weak in the knees for him!
M is a cold hearted bitch! Bond can scarcely believe she was even married, let alone almost 40 years. What must Nigel Mansfield have been like to put up with that, for all that time?
Bond continues walking towards home. Eventually he will flag down a cab. The burn of the alcohol is diminishing in his stomach and head. Why the hell would anyone marry her?
The image of her fighting mad and the fantasy of that switching suddenly to passion fills his mind. "Oh God." James murmurs as he continues down the street.
Those eyes, flashing blue in anger and holding his in passion. Bond flags down a cab.
Staring out the window thinking of her pale white skin on his dark grey sheets. Those eyes looking up at him, M with a sexy smirk on her face. That smirk that he has only seen on the rarest of occasions, but managed to drive him to distraction for the witnessing of it.
Christ, he had better get home soon so he can relieve himself of this...pent up aggression. It won't be the same, but a far sight better than grunting over a woman who is not M. If he had picked one up...he could never face her again.
James would have proven M right. He would have done just what she expects of him. Ended up in the bed of someone who means nothing, just for the sake of a quick angry fuck.
James needs to prove he is more evolved than that, and demonstrate it to M. Tanner, nor M will believe it but James will know the truth.
M will never understand what she means to him. She will not allow herself to believe it, and there is no way she will cave while they work together.
James wasn't lying when he told M that he laid his heart at her small feet. M stomped on his heart like no one has ever done before...not even Vesper.
Bond's her best and he will prove that again and again until he wears down and dies at her feet, if that's what it takes. If he could only separate M from London and everything at work.
On the way to Skyfall they bonded in a way that he never expected they would when he first met M. There was acceptance and trust between them and they worked as a team.
Silva had them too panicked to make much romantic use of their alone time in that manner. Not to mention, Kincade busting in and looking at her like he was starving and she was dinner. The old man had the audacity to ask him if M was spoken for.
Bond told him to back off with his eyes as much as his words. The panic Bond felt when he saw that M was wounded, grazed by the mercenaries bullet. Kincade knew exactly why he told him to back the hell up! The old man could tell how much he loved her why can't M?
Tanner is going to come between them. He is her lapdog and guard all rolled into one. He thought that they had become friends but M is his main concern. Bond cannot truly fault the man for that.
Eve may believe him.
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The next morning Tanner and M have a lovely breakfast and avoid the topic of James Bond all together. Tanner is hiding something from M and she knows him well enough to see that in his posture.
After all they have been through, and all the work Bill has done to care for her, M will not pester him for the information. M hopes Bill will volunteer it when he is ready.
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Tanner woke first and spoke at length with Eve about the drama from the middle of the night. Eve was shocked and horrified by 007's behaviour. She also cautioned Bill in his anger at Bond.
Bill I don't like to disagree with M, but you do have only her side of the conversation. I know it does not sound good but we know that M can push hard.
"True but the main argument seems to be about Bond not being allowed to sleep in her bed."
Granted, but was it truly that blatant? I cannot imagine Bond telling her he loves her and she had better sleep with him soon.
"Well you seem to have a great deal of experience saying no to Bond so why don't you tell me how he takes rejection?"
Tanner...that is not what I am talking about and you know it! We will not truly know, until we get them in the same room together.
"No...James will not be allowed to get near her!"
Tanner...you seem to be taking the role of M's protector very seriously.
"What the hell do you expect! I'm pissed he did that to her in her own home as she was just trying to patch him up. It is the same as him unbuttoning your blouse while you were shaving him for some bloody reason!"
I think I've had about enough of this conversation. Goodbye Tanner!
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The two of them spend the rest of the morning doing a puzzle and playing games. Tanner makes them a light meal.
All his help, and M still doesn't give him any leniency on the games. He owes M twenty quid by the time they need to leave.
Tanner drives her into work to see the doctor in the afternoon. There is no risk of running into James on a Sunday at work.
James Bond is likely still in the arms of whatever woman he picked up in the early hours of the morning after fleeing M's house.
No matter what Bond's protestations are, there is no chance that M will ever believe she is anything more than a flirtatious challenge. Bond's claims of love are absurd, M refuses to believe them and she has had enough of the arrogant agent. As if she stomped on his heart! She bloody well weens the heart out of double-oh agents within the first year, if they survive.
The doctor has M rotate her foot as much as the pain will allow. She recommends that M stay on the crutches for another week but to try to add some weight gently after that.
Tanner escorts M home and makes sure she has everything she needs before he heads home for the night. M promises to call if anything should happen. The technicians from Q branch did all the security while M and Tanner were in the office at the doctors.
M runs through the emergency button procedure with Tanner before he leaves. M gives Tanner his own access code to her flat should anything happen to her.
The flat seems so quiet now. It has been eerily quiet since Nigel died. That is that. The life of a widow. At least she still has work to keep her mind active. Even if Mallory is waiting in the wings to take her place.
What will happen after, is something M tries not to dwell on. There will be time with her children and grandchildren if she can rebuild some bridges.
M puts herself to bed somewhat missing Tanner's presence. He truly is a sweet man and a good friend.
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Tanner takes a sip of his beer as he looks at his mobile. Eve must be still furious at him from this morning. No messages or texts. Tanner is still worried about M. At least Q branch says there will be no breaking in any more.
Tanner has always questioned why M never had it changed after the first time it happened all those years ago. For christ sake...he could have hurt her.
Tanner deliberates on sending flowers to Eve at the office, as a way of apology but that would indicate that he was wrong. Tanner does not feel at all wrong about supporting M over Bond.
Eve has always enjoyed Bond's flirtations more than Tanner would like. Bill will sleep on it and see how everything works out tomorrow at work.
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The next morning Bond wakes with a killer hangover. No one will believe that he has enough depth of feeling, to love M like he does. He showers and gets dressed pondering his career and the possibility of transfer.
Over time he has build relationships with Tanner, Eve and Q but that is all in jeopardy now. Tanner will hate him for this...he has no doubts about that. The man is a little in love with M himself, damn him.
Eve may believe him. She knows that he stops his seduction the moment there is no interest.
M kissed him back! There was interest and the bitch just denies it.
Thinking of Eve, Bond looks at his mobile. Speak of the devil. Eve has sent him several texts.
Bond...what the hell. Tanner says you basically attacked M. What is going on?
Bond...call or text. M is very upset and Tanner is furious.
Bond...Tanner and I had a terrible row because I had the audacity to give you the benefit of the doubt.
James...please tell me you didn't ask her how long it was going to take you to get her into bed?
Dear god...if you did...what were you bloody thinking. TEXT ME!
Bond types back...That is taken out of context and she pushed me away after letting me kiss her.
Bond a kiss is sometimes just a kiss. It doesn't automatically mean screw me now!
I know that Eve. Never mind. I will see you tomorrow. I am home and planning on drinking the day away and then bed.
Alone?
Yes, alone. Unless you plan and working out your anger and aggression towards Tanner on me. If so meet me at my flat.
Bond this is why she can't believe you!
I know.
Do you love her?
Yes.
Really.
More than my life.
Oh James...I'm so sorry.
I blew my chance. I know that. It may take years but I will prove myself to her.
James...I will help you if I can.
Thank you Eve.
To be continued...