Chapter 4: Confusion
M's driver picks her up at 8 Monday morning. The trip is uneventful as M looks over messages on her laptop. She sees that Tanner moved her calendar around to avoid her having to deal with James today.
What is M going to do about that? She sighs, analyzing her feelings about the entire situation. Logically the following is true: James Bond is over 20 years younger than she is.
Con: He is only slightly older than her daughter Judi.
Con: James is M's employee, an agent, she sends out into the world to do terrible things to terrible people.
Pro & Con: James Bond is the most incredibly handsome man she has ever met.
Pro: And to be honest, if M could allow herself to get away with it and without the resounding personal guilt...she would in a second. In another world and without all these overwhelming improprieties, M would have him. She would push him down onto her bed, or the sofa in her office...wait...no...stop it!
Good lord! She will never admit that out loud to the smug smarmy bastard. Tanner knows she feels something for Bond but would never dream that M has been fantasizing about the man for years, hence her overwhelming feelings of guilt.
M feels it betrays Nigel's memory. His death, it's still very fresh. The heart attack took him suddenly from her with no forewarning. It was not like he had been lingering in illness for an age. In fact, they had made love the night before he died.
This is the memory Olivia will treasure until she joins him in death. It has effectively curbed any desire to have sex with anyone else. The closest she came was last night. She has effectively kept all other suitors away through sheer avoidance.
Thankfully, a busy job prevents M from having anytime to cultivate any new relationships. Any old relationships with men she has known for years seem to feel contrived, and they usually are.
There are two with connexions with M's late husband that have shown interest and it makes her uneasy. When she thinks on all the social occasions that they all shared over the years, and that they were looking at her and thinking of her in that way. It gives her shivers of revulsion up and down her spine.
Marshall Mansfield is the worst by far. He attempts to use the family card to get her to go out with him. M knows he wants much more than she is willing to give.
The other is Arthur…codename and ironically another old friend of Nigel's. Arthur heads up an organization that M remains suspicious of but stays away from. As long as their purpose coincides with MI6, M turns a blind eye to the Kingsman.
M's romantic musings are ended by their timely arrival at the now fully restored base. Tanner is at the entrance and moves to the car to assist her.
"Tanner. How are you today?"
"Fine M and you?"
"Still breathing Mr. Tanner but now my arms hurt more than my bloody foot because of the crutches."
Tanner smiles at her and takes his arm and puts it around her waist and take both of her crutches and hands them to a secretary that is wandering by. Tanner scoops M up into his arms and begins carrying her through MI6.
"See, I can solve that problem also ma'am. Susan could you please deliver those crutches to Q branch. They are working on improving them for M."
"Yes, Sir and Ma'am, it is good to see you feeling better."
"Thank you Susan."
Tanner pushes the elevator button and scans his security badge.
"As for you Mr. Tanner, I think you are beginning to oddly enjoy carrying me through MI6."
Tanner smiles at her. "I am M. It is my fault you are in this condition so I had better make it up to you."
"You have done more than enough Bill. Let me down to rest your arms."
"M you hardly weigh anything. I can manage."
"At least set me down in the elevator then."
The doors slide open and Tanner maneuvers her in and sets her down continually holding her around the waist. M now feels comfortable with Tanner enough to allow him such familiarity as she leans against him.
Once they reach the top of the refurbished and improved offices Tanner scoops her up again and walks through the outer offices to her private one. There are many eyes on them as they make their way through MI6.
Moneypenny can see them approach through the glass walls and she stands, moving to the door to open it for them.
Eve notices the smug smile on Tanner's face and frowns. Bill is getting very comfortable with M in his arms. "Goodmorning M. I will get you a tea. I have left a muffin on your desk incase you are hungry."
"Thank you Eve. What time is the car scheduled for?"
"10:30 ma'am. Mr. Tanner I called agent Bond and he will be in the office by 11:00. I assume that you requested it that way so that M and 007 will not meet face to face?"
Eve says it innocently enough but Tanner scowls, and M now understands why he was so put out yesterday. M hates to seem this petty. To avoiding 007 because of their argument but she refuses to act fearful of confrontation.
"Miss Moneypenny, I do not yet wish to see agent Bond after such a display of inappropriate behaviour."
"With all due respect M, how can professing love for a person ever be inappropriate?"
M flashes a glare out of the corner of her eye as Tanner moves her away from Eve and into the office. He places M at her desk and makes sure she is fine. "I'm so sorry M."
"You and she are fighting?"
"Yes."
"Because of me."
"No...because of Bond."
Having heard what they said through the open door, Eve comes in with a thermos of tea and M's favourite cup. "Not just 007, I think it is you too Tanner."
"Eve, time and place!" Tanner exclaims.
"What? She knows! M you know of our relationship, and I have James' confidence also. He claims you just misunderstood what he was saying to you."
"While I am sure you share a great deal with 007, some that you should not Ms. Moneypenny, I do not wish this topic of conversation to grace the halls of MI6. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes ma'am. I will leave and collect you, before we run off to Whitehall."
Eve leaves before M can chastise her further for insinuating that she is running away again.
"Bill you never told me you two were fighting because of me."
"M...I don't think…"
"Friendship is a two way street Mr. Tanner and I have inadvertently affected your relationship. Why and how?"
"I am sorry I broke your confidence M but I was very angry with Bond."
"Be that as it may, it looks bad that you have to defend me at all, and Eve may just be missing your attentions."
Tanner blushes. "M, Eve does not realize... unless Bond told her that too!"
"Realize what?"
"Well...you know M. What we spoke of the other night."
"We spoke on a number of topics...oh...you mean how you...think I'm...oh...well that is all ridiculous."
Tanner frowns, "perhaps you think it is M, but I don't, and nor does Bond or Eve. I told you that if we were both free..."
"You can't possibly expect Eve to believe I could come between the two of you in that way?"
"You don't believe me. You don't believe James either? My god maybe I was wrong! Maybe Bond was not out of his mind."
Tanner walks quickly into M's private bathroom and returns with the mirror that hung on the wall. He brings it to her desk and holds if facing her resting the bottom on the desk.
"What is this for?"
"Look at the refection M. Where you see age and lines, we see experience and wisdom. A confidence and intelligence, ready for action. An overwhelming sense of duty and fight. You are much more to us than you see in this reflection.
M looks at her reflection. She has never been a vain person but never considered herself conventionally beautiful. Too bloody short.
Nigel always told her she was and she believed him, trusted him. Why on earth would he lie after being together for years. There was no hidden agenda with Nigel. Olivia gave him everything she could, herself, marriage, children she only hid the details of the job and he was smart enough not to ask.
M blushes and avoids looking at her reflection but down at her desk instead. "Hidden agendas Mr. Tanner. I am very suspicious after all these years in this business."
"Are you serious? You think I would tell you I...admire you...for extra pay, or are you expecting another Craig Mitchell?"
M's eyes flash up to meet his. "No, but it is not expected...none of this is. Seriously Tanner! Why on earth would a woman in her sixties expect men of your age to be interested? Unless, it's a fetish, or for money, power and the trappings that come with it."
"Again M, I refer you to exhibit A. This mirror tells the tale, and just because you refute it, does not make that image go away for me or for James Bond. Your appearance is only the tip of the iceberg with you M. There is not a woman in this world, other than my mother, that I trust like I do you."
"There's that mother comparison, I continue to be worried about."
Tanner makes an exasperated face. "M, you are not a mother figure for us. I can assure you, that I never pictured you as anything but a beautiful, important person in my life. I already have a mother and do not need another."
"Yes, but what of Bond?"
Tanner ponders her question. "Bond will have to answer that question, not I. I bet he already told you something of the sort and I cannot imagine Bond wanting you in place of a mother. A lover yes, but not mother."
"I think we need to get to work and you need to replace my mirror."
Damn stubborn woman...Tanner needs to speak with James now and say sorry to Eve.
"Mr. Tanner bring me the documents on the cases we are looking at this week."
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Eventually, Tanner manages to call the florist for Eve and M. He will repair the rift between Bond and M, along with his own issues with Eve.
Eve is now very suspicious of the time Tanner spent with M and her jealousy is a bit of a shock to him. Tanner is thrilled that she feels this way and he wants to show her just how much he cares and adores her.
"Yes I would like to order two bouquets of flowers...yes a dozen white roses and a dozen red. I need them delivered...yes. Hold on please." Tanner's mobile rings and he answers. "Yes M. Just a moment, I will gather the files and be there soon."
The desk phone beeps and Tanner hits the button.
On the card sir?
"Yes, all my love. Bill for the red roses and all my love, James for the white."
The mobile rings again. "Yes M...I will yes."
So the card reads all my love from Bill for the roses...and they go to?
"Yes...M...hold please. M, I have the file here somewhere."
Fine sir we will have the two dozen roses sent this afternoon to the address give and delivered to M.
Tanner is distracted by the two calls and finding the files M wants on his desk. "Yes, yes that is fine bill it to the card I gave you. Thank you."
Tanner has arranged for M to get roses from James and Eve will get the lovely white roses from him. Both women will be happy, he hopes.
"James...I need to see you in my office."
I will be right there.
A few minutes later James walk into Tanner's office. "You wanted to see me Judas?"
"Bond...I want to apologize."
"For what part, the part where you have a girlfriend, yet had your hands all over the woman I love? Or is it that you are blocking me from getting near her to explain myself?"
"For one, I am sorry for that. I may have been mistaken but M was angry and confused and I assumed you crossed a line that I now think you may not have. I will not apologize for finding her an extremely attractive woman."
"She is that and I did not cross a line other than being so undone by her that I stuffed my foot in my bloody mouth and likely ruined any chance to woo her."
"M does not understand why we are drawn to her. I just had this discussion with her. M is searching for ulterior motives. I told her there were none and that she is gorgeous."
"This is true but I could do without the competition mate. What of Eve? If you and her are done I will ask her out myself if you continue to court M."
"Bond I am not courting M. I like her and if I ever thought that there could be more between us than friendship, I would pursue her with more alacrity. M is in a difficult place right now. There are others interested Bond and asking her out all the while the spymaster in M is searching for ulterior motives and mourning the loss of Nigel."
"Who? I know she is missing Nigel soon but who are theses other suitors?"
"From the calls Eve has intercepted it is a man named Arthur and her brother-in-law Marshall Mansfield."
Bond grimaces and his hands involuntarily make fists at his thighs. It does not take an expert in body language for Tanner to understand just the frustration Bond feels. Tanner feels the same when Bond threatened to call on Eve.
Tanner hopes the roses will smooth everything over later.
"How do you suggest I move forward. If I give her time someone else will move in and swoop her off her feet."
"I don't know what to say Bond. Just let her call you. I will try to convince her that it is all worth the risk."
"Thanks Tanner. I will see you up in M's office in a couple of hours."
"Yes and drop off your equipment to Q branch first."
"I will."
Bond leaves and Tanner takes the paperwork up to M. Eve is still cold towards him.
"M gave me this and wants me to spend it with you."
Tanner looks at the coupon for a hotel in Devon. "M did mention it to me. A reward. I have been trying to convince her that she needs a break. After her fall, I can't believe she insists on coming to work."
"So you want to take M?" Eve says with a concerned smirk.
Tanner frowns. The buzzer rings and M can be heard. Tanner stop flirting and bring me that file please.
Tanner shrugs at Eve and enters the office. Eve plops down in her chair concerned. Is M trying to push Tanner back to her...it seems like Bill is even more concerned and enamoured of M. This last weekend he has become her knight in shining armour.
Tanner and Eve's relationship is only a few months old and he told her at the beginning that he felt she was slumming with him until something better came along.
Eve had to admit at first the proper hyper vigilant chief of staff was a pleasant diversion but she has grown to really feel something for him.
They were friends with benefits at first but things were evolving. Eve knew how strongly Tanner feels for their boss, but she never expected it to be sexual. Not that Eve didn't respect and consider M attractive, because she is.
In fact they all have a new appreciation for M since the Silva incident and their affection for M has been growing since her near death at Skyfall.
Bond and Tanner treat her like a queen and that is fine on the surface, but now it is making Eve doubt what her relationship status with Tanner is.
Tanner emerges from the office with M in his arms again. "Q is meeting us in the lobby with M's new crutches."
"Oh, I see. I will take your coat and bag ma'am."
"Thank you Eve. Are you ready to go?"
"Yes."
They make their way down to the lobby. When the elevator opens Eve leaves and holds the door for her boyfriend to manouver M out. Eve catches sight of Bond heading towards them.
As Tanner gets M out of the elevator Eve catches sight of Bond's face. To call it a grimace would be the most apt description. M is turned in the opposite direction but Tanner sees him and tenses for a confrontation.
Q comes towards them with new improved crutches. Tanner puts M down still holding her against him. M smiles at Q as she takes her crutches and tries them out.
"Thank you Q. These do feel better." M moves around and turns suddenly smacks right into the hard chest of 007.
"I'm sorry...Bond what are you doing down here?"
M looks flustered all of a sudden as Bond holds her shoulders after she crashed into him. "I came to see you before you left M. I realize you want Tanner to do the debrief but I wanted to add, that there were extenuating personal reasons why I completed the mission so quickly."
"Yes...well, you did mention that earlier. I am sure it will be fine as long as you wrote it up and returned your equipment to Q branch."
"Oh amazingly enough M, 007 did return his equipment just 30 minutes ago. I can say that it was a shock and most of the items still work." Q adds.
"Eve and I will leave you and Tanner to go over the details."
"M would it be alright to call on you later today?" Bond says with a forced levity that does not quite meet his eyes.
"I will be very busy after taking part of Friday off due to injury."
"M. I am sure you could spare me a few fleeting moments of your time." Bond attempts to act casually when he is angered by her stubborn refusal to see him."
"Be there at 5. I will see you before leaving for the day." Tanner and Eve have been standing aside to allow them a moment but are shocked that M agreed to meet him at all.
Bond breaks into a genuine grin and bows dramatically and leaves for the elevator. "Tanner are you coming?"
"Yes...yes. Goodbye M, Eve." Tanner joins Bond as the ladies leave.
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M and Eve are being driven back to MI6, after meetings that stretched on all afternoon. It is already after five. Eve just texted Bond on M's behalf to cancel their meeting.
"Eve what is going on between you and Tanner?"
"M, I could almost ask you the same thing."
"What?"
"Well Bill has always had a soft spot for you M, and ever since Skyfall he is even more protective of you. We all are, and yes that includes Bond and even Q."
M turns and looks out the window as the car moves through London. "I know." M says very quietly.
"M, pardon me for saying this but you can move on after your husband."
"Do you think I don't know all this!"
"No...I realize it but you have to realize that we are all on the same page M. Bond has been waiting for you for a very long time to be honest, and you know that. He told you that, didn't he?"
M cannot meet her eyes so she finds them in the reflection of the car window. "I know that now. It is still wrong."
"Why?"
M whirls on Eve with her eyes glaring in anger and frustration. "Because it is! I am his boss and that is all I will ever be!"
Eve jumps back from her in the car, slightly nervous. "Why?" Eve says quietly, maintaining eye contact with M.
M turns away again. "It is all I can give to him." It comes out of her like it was ripped from the depths of her and leaves nothing but sadness in it's wake.
Eve understands now. M will not allow herself anymore.
To be continued...