Sidney
"What the fuck were you thinking?" I yell at Taylor.
It's 8am and I've just arrived home after spending the night in Anna's hotel room. The entire trip home, I kept telling myself over and over to talk with Taylor, ask her questions, and try to understand. As soon as I saw her, all sane thoughts flew out of my mind and I become right and truly pissed.
"Good morning to you too" she replies.
"Taylor, I'm not in the mood for sarcasm. It's not like you to hurt someone else like that and certainly not the woman I love; so, what the fuck were you thinking?"
She pours a glass of orange juice, hands it to me and then repeats the action for herself. After replacing the carton of juice in the fridge, she walks to the kitchen table and sits down.
She frowns into her juice and says "I wasn't trying to hurt her Sid but there were things that needed to be said."
"Ok, if that wasn't your intention then what was Tay? What did you think needed to be said?"
"Sid, you scared the shit out of us" she says quietly, still looking at her juice. "You were Sidney Crosby, the hockey star, but you weren't our Sid. For two years, you were here but not here, yourself but not quite yourself. For two years Sid, I lost my brother, two fucking years because she left you. I wasn't going to let that happen again so I did what I thought was necessary prevent it."
Oh. I never realized how my break up with Anna affected the people around me. I guess I thought that since I was playing well, we won the Cup for fucks sake, then nothing was wrong. Apparently I was wrong.
"I didn't know Tay."
"It's fine now. I've said my peace to her."
"No, it's really not fine. I'm sorry."
She looks up at me and her eyes are still angry.
"We were so worried about you and then mom called me a couple of weeks ago and said that Anna was back and you sounded like your old self. She was so excited and happy. I couldn't believe how easily she accepted that everything was ok again and I knew that I had to do something. Of course I didn't say anything to mom; but, I couldn't let this happen again Sid and it was up to me to do something. You seem to have a blind spot for this girl and are willing to do anything for her."
This is a Taylor that I've never seen before, angry, almost bitter. She usually only gets this pissed off about something that happens in a game and she's usually right in those situations. I need to find out more.
"Anna said that you talked about my concussion, why?"
"I wanted her to understand what happened to you after the concussion and when she left so that she would either leave now before you're too attached again or never leave again. Even you have to admit that she jumps quickly and seemingly without thinking long about it. From you to him, then him to you, and I worried that she might leave again. It's simpler if she does it now."
"You're right that things have happened quickly; but, it's not just Anna. We jumped back into this relationship too fast, together, and without considering the affect that everything had on us. That's actually the reason that Anna moved out of my house and into the hotel. We're going to take it slower this time. I know that it's a crazy idea but we're thinking of dating" I say to try and make her laugh.
"This is hardly a joke Sid. Don't you realize what you've been like these past two years? How much pain you've been in? How it's affected you?"
"You're overreacting Tay."
"No, I'm really not. Mom, dad and I had no idea how to help you so we did the same thing we did during your concussion and didn't discuss it. It was killing them Sid. Mom and dad were so worried about you for almost two years."
"I don't know what you're talking about Taylor. I know that I've been different and the break up really affected me; but, I'm still me. Have you been talking to Duper or Flower?"
"No, what does that have to do with anything?"
"Never mind, look, Tay, I get that I've been different. The breakup with Anna was hard, really hard, maybe harder than I even realized; but, it's ok now. Anna and I are back together and we're working through everything. It won't be easy, or even quick, but we're getting there. Tay, honestly, everything will be ok but you have to stop what you're doing. This isn't like you, to hurt someone else, and you really did hurt Anna."
She frowns now.
"Sid, it wasn't my goal to hurt her but I guess it was inevitable for Anna to realize how her actions and irresponsible decisions affect others."
"What did you think would happen when you talked to her?"
"Regardless of what else she is, Anna is smart and I hoped she would make the right decision to leave."
"I know that you were trying to help but you need to stop. This isn't helping. Anna was really upset last night."
"Sid, I don't doubt that she was affected but I doubt she was as upset as you think. I could tell that our conversation bothered her but she was hardly upset enough to need you to stay over last night to console her. It wasn't like I yelled and screamed at her or called her names. I simply told her what was going on. I was honest."
"You don't know her Taylor and you shouldn't make assumptions. Your conversation hurt her, deeply, and made her doubt everything including herself. Anna wasn't raised like you and I were. There was media attention on me from a young age and I was often giving interviews in front of the camera. Anna was 'always' in front of the camera and scrutinized by everyone around her; especially her mother. Tay, her mother was a nightmare to grow up with and it didn't stop when Anna came to Pittsburgh. From birth, she was told how to behave and how to act. Her mother critiqued her every move and action. Anna learned quickly how to cover up her emotions and show only what she wanted others to see about her. It took me some time but I learning how to see beneath the surface. What you see as professional or calm is actually a veneer. She's extremely sensitive Tay."
I hope that Anna won't be upset that I shared this much with Taylor. It seems crucial information for Taylor to have if she's going to form a relationship with Anna and see her for who she is.
"Sid, I understand what you're saying but it doesn't change what she's done or how she's done it."
"This isn't like you Tay."
"You don't understand how difficult the last two years have been."
"Clearly I don't and I'm sorry for that" I tell her.
"I don't want your apology Sid. You need to understand finally because you've had your head in the sand ignoring everything around you except for hockey."
Suddenly, I realize what she's telling me: I've been ignoring Taylor for two years. That's what is underneath her concern and anger. Taylor is afraid that she'll become an outsider to my life again and just when we're growing closer. The reason that I can't remember when Taylor last visited me is because it was before I met Anna. We used to do these kinds of visits whenever we could manage it and looked for opportunities to be together during season. I can't remember the last time we did that, before this week of course.
"You may not want an apology but I am sorry Tay. I had no idea."
Taylor sighs and replies "ok."
I walk to her and pull her up, forcing her to look at me.
"I really am Tay" I tell her.
Her eyes get wet and I pull her in for a hug. She wraps her arms tightly around me and sniffles into my chest. Great, I have two sniffling women in my life in as many days. Instinctively, I know that she isn't going to overcome her anger in a three day visit but, hopefully, this can be a beginning.
"Are you still going to come to practice before your flight?" I ask her.
"Yeah, I could do with a workout."
"Let me get changed and then we can go."
"Ok, I have to pack too."
We go upstairs and then part to get ready. I pull out my phone.
'Are you up?' I text Anna.
'For a while' she sends back.
'How are you?'
'I'm ok, at the office, how are you?'
'I'm good, talked with Taylor'
'Oh' she sends back.
'Yeah, I'll fill you in later, she's coming to practice'
'Ok, I'll see you later, love you'
I smile at her last words.
'Love you too' I respond.
I find myself humming as I change my clothes.
Anna
So Sid and Taylor talked. I wish I could have heard that conversation. Sid was pretty pissed off at Taylor although it isn't entirely her fault. Taylor said things that needed saying and definitely things that I needed to know and hear. Sidney was so sweet holding me throughout the night and making me feel safe and loved. This is why I love him. He is kind and sweet and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. It reminds me why I love him so much and why I want to be with him for the rest of my life.
Last night was a kind of breakthrough for me. When I came back to Pittsburgh, I thought that I was all grown up and could have a real, adult relationship with Sidney. I proved just how immature I was, or maybe still am, that I was still so self-centred and blamed Sid for everything that was still wrong between us. Even though Matt and Adam warned me, it wasn't until I heard Taylor's perspective that I really understood.
Sidney is fundamentally the same person. He is kind, loving, and smart. He can also be confident, forceful and arrogant as hell, especially when it comes to anything related to hockey. Underneath everything, he is a good man and one that I know I want to continue getting to know and fall deeper in love with every day.
"What's that smile about?"
I look up and see Adam with two cups of Starbucks.
"Now it's about that coffee I'm praying is for me" I tell him.
"It is" he replies and comes into my office. After sitting down, and handing me my cup, he says "how are you today? I didn't get a chance to talk to you alone but clearly something was wrong yesterday."
"Yeah, it was, um, an interesting day. Everything is ok now, I think."
"If you're sure" he says and stares at me.
"I'm sure" I confirm. He's been such a good friend that I should give him an update. "You were right Adam. I needed to find out more about Sid and what happened while we were apart. It's helped, a lot, and I think we're closer because of it."
"That's awesome Anna" he says and then looks at his watch. "Shit, I have to go, but we must talk later. I met a guy last night."
"You don't just say that and leave" I complain.
"You'll just have to wait."
"Lunch, my office, at 1pm."
"Ok."
He waves and leaves my office.
An email notice pops up and grabs my attention when I see that it's from Rob Rossi with the subject line 'Article to be published today'. Shit. I open the email and read:
'Anna, thank you again for spending the day with me and giving me the interview. I wanted to let you know that the story will be published on the website at noon today. It will be behind the pay wall but you will be able to access it with the Pens' user information. Cheers, Rob.'
It freaks me out that he didn't attach a copy of the story for me to read before it's posted. While it isn't a rule, common practice is for the reporters to send us a copy of an article that they write a few hours, if not a full day, before it's published. This article is going to be as bad as I feared if he's not giving us a preview. The agreement for the interview was that he wouldn't write about the altercation with Sid; but, I went in knowing that I was fair game. Hmm, he was going to write about me anyway in the original article. At least this way I was able to control what I said about Sid and keep him out of it as much as possible. I have no choice now so I call up Travis, the Pens' COO.
"Hi Anna" he says when he answers the phone.
"Hi Travis, I need to speak with you" I tell him but don't say more since he's answered on speaker phone.
"Come over" he says and hangs up.
I stop by the intern's bullpen on the way and find Adam.
"Adam, I won't be at the media scrum or lunch today. Come find me afterward" I tell him.
He nods but doesn't say anything because he knows my 'all business' tone. At least the scrum will be over before the article is posted so no one can get questions about it.
I walk quickly to Travis office. When he sees me, he gestures me in and I do so while shutting the door. We sit at his table and chairs rather than the desk as he usually likes to do.
"What's going on Anna?"
"I received an email from Rossi telling me that his article will be posted at noon today" I tell him.
"How bad is it?" he asks me.
"I don't know. He didn't send it."
"What do you mean that he didn't send it to you?"
"It wasn't attached to the email Travis. It's going to be bad."
"Yeah, all signs seem to point that way, don't they?" Travis says.
"I could try some contacts to get an early copy but I think the risk of that becoming public is too great to get a couple of hours jump on reading the story."
"I agree."
"As soon as it's posted, I'll email you a copy" I tell him.
"I'll put legal on notice that it's coming just in case we need them."
"I'm sorry about all of this trouble Travis. I wish that I could fix it."
"It's not your fault" he begins and puts his hand up when I try to interrupt. "They will always find something to write, reporters like Rossi, even if they need to bend the truth. None of this is your fault and we'll deal with it if there's something to handle. Ok?"
I smile and respond "ok and thank you."
As I walk back to my office, I call Sid.
"Hi babe" he answers.
"Hi yourself" I try for a light tone that I'm sure Sid will see through right away. "Are you here? Can you come to my office for a few minutes?"
"I was just grabbing some breakfast. I'll be up in a few."
"Can you bring me some fruit too?"
"Sure babe."
We disconnect as Adam walks up alongside me.
"Everything ok?" he asks.
"Rossi" is all I say.
"When?"
"Noon."
"Ok, I'll come by after the scrum."
"Thanks Adam."
I have a few minutes to look through the rest of my email before Sid comes in. He shuts the door and sits at my meeting table with his breakfast and a mountain of fresh cut fruit for me.
"I was looking for a snack and you've brought me an entire fruit market" I say and chuckle.
"You wanted fruit" he says and shrugs. "What's up?"
"I tell you this trusting that you'll keep your cool, ok? I really want to follow through on everything we've talked about the past couple of days so I'm going to trust you" he frowns but nods. "I received an email from Rossi that his article will be posted at noon today. He didn't give me a copy, as most reporters do, which tells me that it's bad. I wanted you to know so that you're not blindsided. It probably won't come up at the scrum but I thought you'd want to know. Next time, if there is an unfortunate next time, that you punch out Rossi, do it without witnesses, ok?"
It takes a few moments but he gives me a small smile.
"I can do that" he says.
"Good" I smile back.
We both dig into our food.
"It's going to be bad?" he asks me.
"It's an assumption, although an education one, since he didn't send me a copy before publishing. He either wants me to sweat it out, the waiting, or he wants me to be blindsided when it is published."
"Fucker" Sid says. "I really want to kill him."
"And I want you to as well; but, we both know that will accomplish nothing."
"Yeah, I know, but it would be satisfying" he says. "Thank you for trusting me not to kill him."
"I do Sidney" I put my hand over his. "I trust you completely."
Sid leans over and lightly touches my lips with his own. When he pulls back, I know that I'm smiling widely.
"What time should I be ready tomorrow?" I ask Sid both wanting to change the subject and to know more about our date tomorrow.
"I'll pick you up at 8am" he says.
"8am? Isn't that a little early for you?"
"Usually it would be but I have plans, grand plans."
"Grand plans huh? Ok, 8am it is. I need to know what we're doing so I know how to dress" I tell him.
"No way" he shakes his head and smiles. "Wear jeans in the morning and pack a bag so you can stay overnight."
"Hmm, that's intriguing."
"Oh, you should probably bring something dressy for dinner since we're going out."
"Ah, the plot thickens" I grin. "So, jeans in the morning, an overnight bag and something dressy for dinner, right?"
"Yep."
"Should I bring something, um, extra special in that overnight bag?" I ask.
Sid frowns and I can tell that he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. The moment he gets it shows in the bright smile that quickly fills his face.
"Oh, yeah, good idea babe" he tells me and looks at his watch. "Shit, I need to go. I'll stop by before I drive Taylor to the plane."
Oh, right, Taylor is leaving.
"Bring her by too if you don't mind. I'd like to say goodbye."
Sid looks surprised but says "sure I can."
He stands, gives me a quick kiss and then leaves. I sigh when I see that he's left me the dirty dishes.
The next three hours are tedious and long as I try to focus on work but my mind strays to the clock wishing it would desperately become noon. With ten minutes left, I give up trying to concentrate and bring up the newspaper's website. I play the 'refresh and wait' game for the next five minutes.
"Not yet" Adam says as he walks in the door. "Closed?"
Adam points to the door as he asks me.
"Good idea" I tell him.
I pick up my laptop and meet Adam at the seating area. We might as well be comfortable while reading the article. Adam opens his iPad.
"Not yet damnit" Adam says as he scrolls through his iPad. "It's noon! On top of writing crap, they can't read a damn clock either."
I refresh my screen and there it is.
"It's up" I tell him.
The headline reads 'The most powerful Penguin isn't who you think.' So that's the approach he's going to take for the article. This should be entertaining. It begins:
'If you think that the 'best player in the world' Crosby is the most powerful Penguin, or the franchise player Malkin, or even the Penguin's player/owner/saviour Mario, then you'd be very wrong. The most powerful Penguin, both two years ago and now, is Anna Stanton. The Governor/would-be-President's daughter interned with the Pens two years ago and molded Malkin into a true spokesperson and community leader and wrapped Crosby around her very skilled little finger. For the next two years, she built a prominent political career and made the new Governor who he is, in office for the next four years and maybe more. Now, she's back in Pittsburgh with the Penguins and not only has Crosby wrapped up again but is now in charge of all PR and media for the organization. My how the intern has grown or is it more accurate to say schemed.'
The rest of the article expands on this theme. I am the power hungry, opportunist who devours men to get what she wants. He doesn't go so far as to blatantly say that I use sex to get what I want, but he does chronical the dates of my relationships with Sid and Matt, clearly demonstrating that there was very little time between each. Sidney is going to go positively apoplectic.
"Ok" Adam says as he sits back in his chair and sighs. "Sid is going to kill him."
"I gave Sid a heads up just in case and … oh shit!"
I quickly pick up my phone and call Matt. His assistant answers it.
"Hi Anna, Matt is in a meeting right now. He'll be out in an hour and I can have him call you back."
"I hate to be annoying, but I really need to talk to him right now. It's urgent and is hitting the media as we speak."
"Oh, ok, one moment."
I wait while, I assume, she takes the phone to Matt.
"Is everything ok Annabelle?" Matt says sounding concerned.
"I'm ok but something has just hit the press and I'm so sorry that I didn't think to give you the heads up about it."
I proceed to tell him about how the interview came about and give him an overview of the article.
"That ass! I could kill him" Matt yells.
"Matt, Sid already hit him and that's how we got into this mess" I tell him.
Suddenly the men in my life all want to beat up a reporter for me. Thankfully, Matt chuckles at my comment.
My door flies open without a knock and a very angry Sidney is now standing in my office and, oh goody, Taylor is with him. At least he came to me rather than looking for Rossi.
"I need to go" I tell Matt. "I'll talk to you later." I disconnect the phone and turn to Adam. "Please tell the team we'll have a meeting at 2pm. Until them, no one talks to anyone about this including amongst themselves, ok?
"Will do Anna" he tells me and quickly leaves my office, shutting the door.
I take a deep breath and contemplate how to handle Sid. Shit, I need to send the article to Travis too.
"Sid, please give me thirty seconds, ok? Please."
He purses his lips and then says "ok."
I gesture for he and Taylor to take a seat while I take my computer back to my desk and then forward the email and call Travis.
"Anna?"
"Hi Travis, I just forwarded the article to you. We'll talk to legal but, on initial glance, there is nothing he says that can be proven completely false. It's bad for the Pens but I take most of the hits personally. Can you give me ten minutes and then I'll come to your office?"
"Sure" he says and disconnects the call.
I rub my brow and take a few deep breaths before returning to the sitting area with Taylor and Sid.
"I guess you read it" I say to Sid.
"Yeah, I read that piece of shit. We need to sue his ass for all the lies he's spreading" Sid replies with vitriol.
"I'm going to talk to Travis in a couple of minutes; but, I suspect legal will say that there is nothing that we do about it. The facts he states are actually true and the rest is innuendo and suggestion. My initial reaction is that we should do and say nothing about the article, Rossi or the paper."
"Do nothing!" Sid exclaims. "How can we do nothing?"
I reach out and take his hand in mine rubbing my thumb slowly over the top.
"Sid, think about it logically for a moment. When a reporter writes this kind of article then it only drags on longer if we argue or try to discredit it. We don't want this nonsense to drag through more news cycles. It's better to get it over with."
"I know you're right but it's not easy this time."
"Of course it's not and that's what Rossi is betting on Sid. He's trying to provoke you by making me the story and we can't let him succeed."
Sid sighs and grips my hand a little tighter. "Ok, what do I say when I'm asked?"
"Right now, you don't have a comment. We might want to leave it as simply as that from a player perspective. I won't be completely sure of our direction until I talk to Travis and my team" I tell him. "It was pretty horrible, the article, I'm sorry that you're in this mess."
"Don't apologize, please babe. The article was written because I was an idiot. I'm the one who's sorry."
"Let's agree that we both had a part in this and move on, ok?" I ask.
Sid smiles and nods so I move closer to kiss him. Before our kiss gets out of hand, I remember that Taylor is in the room and pull back from Sid.
To Taylor I say "I'm glad you came to visit Taylor. I hope that you'll be back soon."
"I'll be back for some of the Christmas break" she replies coolly.
"Good, I'll see you then."
I guess polite words are a good first step after our disagreement. I kiss Sid softly.
"I have a very busy day now. I'll talk to you later, ok?" I say.
"Yeah, let me know how the meetings go. Please, don't wait until the end of the day."
"Will do" I tell him.
The Crosby siblings and I part at my door and I make my way to Travis' office where both he and the legal team are waiting.
Sidney
"She's really good at her job isn't she" Taylor says as I drive her to the airport.
"Yeah, she is" I reply.
Anna and Taylor weren't exactly best friends giving each other warm hugs as they said goodbye; but, they were sort of friendly and hopefully that's something to build on when we're all together next.
"Why do you think the job is too much for her?" Taylor asks. "If that article was about me then I would be hiding in my bed eating chocolate cookie dough ice cream for months. She is already action planning and going on with her day."
I think back to my conversation with Anna and realize that she's right. It's not that I don't think Anna is capable, although I convinced myself of that for a while, it's because I want her to be successful so she'll stay.
"It's complicated Tay. Let's just say that I know she's really good at her job and, especially if she can handle this Rossi shit, she can handle anything."
"Did you call mom and dad?" she asks.
"Shit, no I didn't."
Using the hands free phone, I call the house and my mom picks up quickly.
"Sidney, how was your visit with Taylor?" mom asks as she answers.
"She's just leaving now. In fact, she's in the car with me right now and you're on speaker."
That's all mom needs to ask Taylor a million questions about the visit etc.
"Mom" I interrupt. "I called you for a specific reason. Is dad there?"
"I'm here" dad says.
We must be on speaker too.
"Good. Rossi wrote a shit piece about Anna and it's bad, really bad. Legal is looking at it but it's probably nothing that can be brought to court. He uses innuendo and is very leading but doesn't go all the way and call her a whore, for example."
"Oh that poor girl" mom says.
"Mario should sue his ass" from dad.
"All of that is being looked into and Pat is aware" I say referring to my agent.
I'm glad I thought to call him after I met with Anna for breakfast. It wasn't the preferred way to wake up on the west coast but he was glad I let him know.
"Is there anything that we can do?" mom asks.
"Just the usual" I tell her.
"No comment" dad says.
"Yep and know that it's not true" I tell them.
"Of course not dear" mom says. "I'm so glad that we're visiting next week."
Shit, I forgot about their visit.
"I'm looking forward to it. Can you send me the flight details?" I ask.
"Again?" dad teases me.
"Yes please" I reply.
They talk more with Taylor and I about our visit and dad asks questions about practicing with the team. Shortly, I arrive at the airport and we all say goodbye. I park and help Taylor with her hockey bag. After she's checked in, we hug.
"I'm going to miss you brat" I tell her.
"Me too" she replies. "Be carefully Sid, ok?"
I know what she's referring to and I'm not willing to go into it all over again.
Instead, I simply say "text me when you get home."
"Ok, bye."