CPOV

"No sweet tits, I'm not meeting up with you until later this afternoon. What?" Devin looks my way when he hears my protest to his nickname for my fiancée and then rolls his eyes. "Sorry. Annie. Because God forbid a queer makes mention of your amazing ta-ta's." He leans against the breakfast bar, crosses his arms and ankles and cocks his head to the side.

"What? You didn't think us sausage smugglers could appreciate a good rack?"

"Devin," I begin, not wanting at all to hear about his approval of Ana's 'rack' as he calls it.

"Don't you Devin me. I feel the need to protest for fags everywhere. We love a good set of bazoombas as much as everybody else. The curves, the softness, the elegance of the naked breast but that does not mean we want to shove those puppies all up in our faces and shake 'em around like fun bags at a carnival. We reserve that for nut sacks."

Elliot makes a wheezing sound and then chokes on whatever food he was shoving in his face. I can't see him since he's doubled up with laughter and try as I might not to, I join him, my eyes filling with tears. Devin just looks at us as if we were children and rolls his eyes again.

"Anywho, as I was saying, Annie, that dress was made for that…pectoral shelf of yours." He looks at us and deadpans, "Better boys? And are you ready yet? You Mary's take longer to get out the door than a drag queen at a Mary Kay convention." He rounds on Elliot and points. "And don't even try to tell me you don't pluck your eyebrows because God didn't love you more than everybody else by giving you that face with that body and perfectly arched brows on top of it." With a flourish he turns and snaps his fingers.

"Who's my bodyguard today?" Reynolds steps forward, face red from a failed attempt to not laugh and lifts one finger in the air.

"Myself and Ryan are with you all today, Sir." Devin stops mid-stride, looks Reynolds up and down and nods.

"Mmmhmm. Sir. I like it." Without turning around he yells, "I was made for this life, Annie! Made for it! Now let's go, my breakfast awaits!"

And then he's gone.

"Shit, I don't know how I lived my life this long without him in it. It seriously feels empty in this apartment without him here." Elliot is still trying to catch his breath as we all make our way to the elevator. "He was over last week and changed around the furniture in the living room and I swear to God somehow the carpet is softer and the TV is clearer. He just," Elliot breathes deeply and closes his eyes, "spits the essence of life everywhere he goes."

"Be nice, Elliot. He knows your dick size and your average stamina per round," Kate shoots, stopping my brother dead in his tracks. I round on Ana and question her with my eyes, a simple, 'No' mouthed back at me. Our sex life is nobody's business.

"So you told him 12 inches and all night long then? No wonder I can't get him away from me." With that he cracks Kate on the ass and hoists her over his shoulder, making a beeline for the open elevator. They get in along with a half asleep Lisa and wait for us but I motion for them to go. I want a minute alone with my girl before the day begins.

"I'm glad they're starting us off together like this. It was sweet for Kate and Elliot to choose our brunch place as our first event."

"It was thoughtful but I wouldn't give Elliot too much credit for the breakfast venue though I am looking forward to seeing everyone together. You're sure Ray doesn't want to come back here to crash tonight?" She nods and bites her lip, the chubby I've had since she walked out of the bedroom in that dress turning into a rager in an instant.

"Ana. Your lip." Her face is in my hands so I run my thumb over it, gently pulling it from her teeth only to suck it between mine. "I need one more fuck before we go."

"Christian! We already did it before we got out of the bed and in the shower!"

"I know," I declare, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around me as I make my way back to the bedroom. "But you're going to be gone all day and I'm going to be thinking about how this dress covers your breasts in the most erotic way and thinking about you laid out on a table covered in oil with someone's hands all over you." That part I'm not too keen on actually.

"It's a female massage therapist."

"I know," I say salaciously, raising my brows to tease her. She gives me a funny look and tenses up in my arms.

"Would you ever want that? Me with another woman?"

"Are you out of your god-damned mind? Is that even a serious question?" It actually pisses me off that she'd even think that. "There isn't a chance in hell that I'd be ok with anyone but me touching you. I can't believe you'd even ask me that."

"OK, calm down. You were the one wagging your eyebrows together a few seconds ago. Besides, Kate was joking about it with Elliot earlier when you were on your call. He seemed into it. I didn't think you'd ever want that but I still like to hear it."

Roughly I pull her groin against my waist and bite her lip again. "First of all, this body, every square inch of it is mine and I will never be ok with someone else touching you like that." I shiver at the mere suggestion. "Second of all, I can guarantee you that if Elliot ever saw someone touching Kate in a sexual way, he's flip his lid. He may think he'd like to see her with another woman but trust me, if the opportunity arose he'd refuse it as fast as I would. He's crazy about her and while he may hide it better than me, he's just as jealous."

"Now," I continue, pressing my groin against her belly, "I want that fuck." She moans, her neck rolling back in acceptance of her fate but her hands push against my chest in refusal.

"They're waiting for us…we should go…it's rude…"

"I don't give a damn if it's rude," my mouth trails up her neck to suck on that spot just below her ear. "I want my cum inside of you all day. While you're out with your girlfriends I want you to feel me dripping out of you." My hand lifts her dress and cups her sex, hot and damp against my palm. "I want this wet for me and by me all day long."

"But they're…you've got to make it quick." But just as the I'm about to shut the bedroom door we're interrupted by the one person I won't kill because of it.

"Anastasia Rose your father is two miles away with an eggs benedict and is asking where you are. You want me to tell him you're too busy getting all sexified or you want to haul your cute little ass in the car with the rest of us commoners?" Devin throws his hands up in exasperation. "Can I mention her toned hiney or is that off limits as well?"

"How the hell did you get back in here without a code and when the hell did you get back in here?" He huffs, rolls his eyes and gives me the 'let's go' sign with one finger.

"Elliot sent me because clearly he knew what was going on. Now let's go. God, it's a day, what are you going to do when she moves out for a few days before the actual wedding?"

What? My eyes snap to hers in time to see her wince. "You're not going anywhere before the wedding." I step back, point to her and grind out a quipped, "Mine, Ana. You stay with me."

"Christian," she starts, throwing a pleading look at Devin who looks a bit surprised by my aggression and wisely makes for the elevator. "You're not supposed to see me before the wedding so I can't spend Friday night here."

"What the fuck, Ana? When were you going to tell me this? How long have you been hiding this little bit of bull shit from me?"

"Calm down, Kate just mentioned it to me a few minutes ago while I was finishing my hair."

"Well you can forget it." I grab my wallet and phone, shove them in the pocket of my slacks and grab her arm, all but dragging her to the elevator. "You'll stay with me. End of conversation." I refuse to look at her partly out of anger and partly because I don't want to see the disappointment I know will be there. We just finished a three day 'discussion' on talking to each other to make decisions together and here I am falling right back into old habits.

"I'm sleeping at Kate and Elliot's Friday night." She says it with such determination that I almost, almost yank her up to the playroom but one look at her furious profile and I know it's me that would be getting whipped, not her. She looks at me then, green eyes alight with feminine fury and cocks her head to the side. "I was going to discuss it with you on the way to the restaurant but now, I'm just going to tell you how it's going to be."

The elevator dings then and opens, empty until we both step inside. "This is total bull shit, Ana!" She rounds on me, little fists by her side, her face and neck flushed with anger.

"Isn't it? Such bull shit that we just last night established ground rules for how we'd approach things like this and not twelve hours later you're already ignoring them! I told Kate I didn't know what I'd do since I had to…here it comes…talk to you about it first. But if you want to start barking orders at me, then I guess I can ignore the rules as well."

Shit. God damn it to hell I hate this compromise crap. Neither of us hits a floor, we just stand in the mirrored 12x8 space staring the other down. My head is spinning but I can't seem to land on one thing to verbalize. After a beat her demeanor softens, her shoulders drooping a bit when her hands reach for mine.

"The way you're feeling right now is how I feel when you bulldoze me. At the risk of sounding like a therapist, let's talk about it, Christian." My head snaps back, hand pulling on my hair out of frustration.

"This would be so much easier if you just did what I wanted without argument." I offer her a weak smile. "I'm sorry. Again. You're right, we need to do this the right way." I fucking hate this shit. "I would rather you not slept away from me that night, Ana. I never want to be without you and there are going to be plenty of times I'm away on business that I don't want to squander one night with you when we don't have to be apart." She gives me a shy smile and I know I've got her.

"I like the idea of you not seeing me that morning. I like the notion of you getting ready and me getting ready and then I get to present myself to you for the first time in a big white dress." She shrugs, "I know it's old fashioned and maybe even a little stupid but I think it's sweet." When I cup her face she leans into my hand and kisses my palm.

"I hate being away from you. Even today, fun as it may be won't be nearly as good of a day as it could be because we'll be apart. I just…want you. All the time."

"OK then." She gives me a big smile and reaches up on her tippy toes to kiss me before hitting the G to take us to the garage. "I'll stay home that night then. But no sex," she points at me and winks. Right, that's not going to happen either but there's no need to mention that now.

"So you'll stay home?"

"Yes, if it's important to you, I'll stay home. I guess it can be sweet to wake up together that morning too." But sincere as her words are, I can see the small flicker of disappointment she covers up. Damn.

Breakfast is over far too quickly but it's an interesting view into the core group of people in our lives. Ray, Casey and my father quickly fall into a discussion on the economy while Elliot and Ethan take cheap shots at each other in what I think is good fun but I can't really tell. They are fucking each other's sisters so that's always a bit of a touchy subject between the two of them. Grace, Missy and Kate haven't stopped talking about the dresses they plan on wearing but the most interesting people to watch are my cousin Gavin and Lisa, strangers not one hour ago who are literally eating off the others plate.

"They are definitey fucking tonight," I whisper to Devin who raises his hands in a mock 'halleluiah'.

"Well then prayers do get answered because I was going to seriously knock her out if she took another set of batteries from me for her bob." I look at him with my brows knit but he just keeps eating, spearing a melon chunk and waving it around on his fork. "You know what a bob is, Christian. Don't act like Ana doesn't have one of her own. Knowing you it's probably gold with titanium engraving on it."

"Bob?" He rolls his eyes and swallows.

"Battery operated boyfriend." My face must drop because he laughs and rolls his eyes again. "Don't go all virginal on me now, Grey. We all know it would be a damn lie anyway."

"Devin," Ray bellows from the other end of the table. "You ready to get your ass handed to you again at the range? You still owe me for last time, son."

"God help me it's going to be a long day," Devin grunts before yelling back, "Double or nothing old man."

"Dude how much time do you spend on the green? Your swing is absolute crap." Elliot baits me as only Elliot can so that I rip the ball too far left, Claude Bastille and my Uncle Spencer snickering behind me. How I got stuck in this group is beyond me.

"Not enough. When was the last time we were out here, Grey?" Bastille drops his driver into the bag on the back of the cart and reaches for a bottle of water.

"Before all his time was taken up by that cute little woman back there." Now I like my Uncle Spencer, he's always been respectful of my boundaries and has never asked me for a penny but as benign as that comment was, I can't hear anyone speak about Ana like that.

"Anastasia. Her name is Anastasia." Elliot rolls his eyes, sets up his ball and laughs.

"Lighten up bro, she's cute and she's a woman. Get over yourself." He swings, his ball slicing perfectly through the air to land about 40 feet from the flag, a satisfied smirk on his face when he turns back to me. "Today, every time I deem you to be acting either like an asshole or older than you really are, you have to take a shot."

"No." He huffs and waves at Devin who's teaching Ray how to putt. Devin jogs over, reaches in the back of his cart and hands Elliot a brand new bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Jack Daniels? I'm not drinking that shit." Elliot hoots and cracks it open, pouring the light amber liquid into a shot glass.

"The hell you are. And this is your first shot since JD is what normal guys your age drink. So bottoms up, Christian." I stare him down but before I know it the entire group is behind him. Bastille, my father, Uncle Spencer, Uncle Skip and Uncle Jamieson, my cousins Gavin, Kevin and Dale, Grandpa Trevelyan, Ethan, Barney, Welch, Logan, Casey, Devin, Ray, and in the middle, my annoying as fuck brother Elliot.

"Drink up, son," my father chides, his own hand holding a tumbler of expensive scotch.

"Oh for fucks sake," I groan out and toss back the nasty whiskey, the burn of it not as bad as I anticipated. "Not bad," I offer, handing the glass back to Elliot who wipes it out and hands it back to Devin who puts it back in the cooler.

"Act your age and no jealousy today my man. Or you're going to be one hurting son of a bitch tomorrow." I'm screwed.

"Can't say I ever saw this day coming," Kevin says to me over cold beers and steak sandwiches back at the clubhouse. "You were the biggest prick ever growing up. Do you remember the summer your mom sent you and Mia to stay with us for a week and you beat up that guy at the beach?"

"Lord something or other?" I offer, admittedly a bit tipsy after three more shots in the last sixty minutes. "Who does that? Name their kid Lord? I should have beat up his parents." We laugh, clink glasses and look out at the green.

"Was that the guy who bad mouthed Alison? The one who told everyone he'd had sex with her?" Gavin asks. Groans from around the room indicate that nobody in the family wants to talk about my cousin Alison having sex but that's exactly what happened. She slept with a douche and he told everyone so I took care of business. It was a good excuse to pound someone's face in. Not that I ever actually looked for a reason.

"Yea, that's the one." Uncle Jamieson stands, walks to me, pats me on the shoulder and sits back down. "Never did thank you for that. Not that I could have, my brother here was so bent out of shape that you'd knocked the guys teeth out that I couldn't get near you."

"He was fifteen and could have gone to jail, Jamie."

"Whatever Cary, the guy had it coming talking about my daughter like that." He tips his glass to me, "But you were still a prick." I laugh, it's true.

"Shit do you remember when you and Gavin competed to see who could eat the most of those hot as fuck chicken wings in Aspen that one year for Christmas? The atomic habaneros or something?" Gavin grabs his stomach and groans while Elliot falls off his chair laughing so hard. Or just because he's drunk.

"Damn I'd totally forgotten that! Oh my god you were crying in the bathroom the next day, C. I swear to god it smelled like hot sauce every time you farted for a week. Shit, that was funny as hell. Dad do you remember the time you caught Christian smoking behind the boathouse and made him eat a cigarette?"

"I did?" Dad grimaces and sips his drink. "Surely you're mistaken. I would never"

"Yes you did!" I interrupt laughing. "Except it was a joint not a cigarette and it gave me the worst heart burn for like, two days. Shit every time I burped for a week it tasted like pot." Dad laughs, Ray grimaces and Elliot keeps on howling. "Sorry," I toss at Ray who holds up his hands and grins.

"Everybody's got a few skeletons in their closet," he jokes. It stops me momentarily but Elliot...no not Elliot. He howls with mirth. Literally howls. I think I hear him muttering between gasps for breath, 'A few skeletons?'.

"How much have you had to drink Elliot?" Uncle Spencer asks, taking away his glass of beer.

"Back off old man! Gav, do you remember when we drove with Aunt Laura to your parent's house up in Whistler and Christian made the cd for the car with nothing but UB40's 'Red Red Wine' and Ace of Base's 'I Saw the Sign'?" Dale smacks his palm to his forehead and groans.

"Asshole, now I'll have that stuck in my head. That was fucking torture. Five hours of those two songs and nothing else. How did you rig it so we couldn't eject that shit anyway? I never could figure that out."

I shrug, I barely remember the trip let alone what I did. "I'm a genius and you guys are idiots."

"Right. We're the idiots. Meanwhile we were hooking up with those Icelandic chicks while you were holed up in the hotel room with your Gameboy." He raises his beer and hoots, "But we were the idiots!" The table grows silent, everyone thinking about something until Elliot sighs, leans back and wipes his face.

"Man those chicks were hot. Too bad yours wound up having a penis, Gavin." Casey's eyes grow wide but Devin smacks his hand on the table and starts to laugh.

"For real? Oh this is great. You got cock blocked by an actual cock!"

I inwardly cringe at Devin's colorful use of the American language. Nobody wants to have a discussion about sex when your father in law is in the room. Nothing really makes me uncomfortable. This, this makes me uncomfortable. Especially when he waits for the rest of the story which I know includes five girls, three guys and a gondola ride.

Thankfully Ethan Kavanagh is here and despite him being a pretty cool guy so far, I'm sure Elliot would rather his future brother in law not have any ammunition to lob at him. And I know he doesn't want dad to hear about him being spitfired by two girls 75 feet above the ground. So while Ethan covers his ears and pretends to be appalled Elliot stands and clasps his hands in front of him.

"Party here is over fellas. Onto the range for your father in laws version of fun. I think this is more of a vieled threat though little brother." He claps Ray on the back affectionately and true to Raymond Steele form he rolls with it, grinning and patting him right back. If anyone else had chosen the shooting range I'd have offered a quick 'No'. But since this is Ray's contribution, I have no real choice but to go along with it.

"No need to threaten my son in law here, I've no doubt my baby girls in the best of hands." He says it jovially but I know he's sincere. I can't help but feel good about his opinion of me. It's actually important to me that Ray approves of me. That's new. When he pats me on the back my entire family stops walking and waits for me to freak out and truth be told, I want to. I'm totally comfortable with Ana touching me and even with my immediate family on some occasions but anyone else is still difficult. I feel the familiar burn and panic sweeping through my body but quickly step towards the left.

Like a well oiled machine he steps between us and nonchalantly steers Ray towards the limo that is chauffeuring the older guys around. Even my cousins who have no real idea as to why I suffer from haphephobia know not to touch me but Ray has no clue as to what lies in my past and if I can keep it that way, I will.

"I'm impressed," Dale says when the doors close, handing me a glass of good bourbon instead of the cheap stuff I've been forced to drink. "I thought we were going to get thermo-nuclear Christian back there with the whole touchy feely crap. And a gun range? Don't you donate to gun control advocacy groups every year? You must really love this girl."

"Head over heels, man." It takes less than one minute before I hear a feminine moan from the other end of the limo and even less time for me to see why. "Porn, Elliot?"

"Not just porn. Porn that highlights all the shit you'll never get again in your lifetime. Threesomes, ethnic girls, girl on girl…I mean, look at that." I look up to see a man with two women going at it and then look around for Devin and Casey, not surprised that they've opted to go in the other limo with the older guys. They've known Ray for a few years now and have, in typical Devin and Casey fashion, wiggled their way into his affections. I bet they'd just love to see this.

"Damn, you're really ready to give that up, cuz? Shit, with your face and your cash you could fuck anything that walks." Everyone stares at the screen in silent awe. "You mean to tell me that you don't want that?" I look again and feel nothing.

"Holds no appeal to me."

"Please," Kevin starts. "You're ready for this, Christian? Four months and you're ready to give up every woman in the world for the same pussy every single night for the rest of your life?" Elliot shoots me a look immediately, correctly gauging my reaction.

"You talk about my wife like that again and family or not I'll castrate you." The car goes silent while Kevin and I stare each other down. He holds up his hands and raises his shoulders.

"My bad. It was crass of me, I'm sorry. Ana is a lovely woman whom I'm sure is worth the sacrifice." Idiot.

"It's not a sacrifice, moron. It's a privilege. How the hell did you get Olivia to marry you anyway? You're telling me that you didn't give those playboy days up when you finally grew a set and asked her to marry you?" He scoffs and leans over to make himself a drink.

"Sure I gave it up but I also had years to play around. You're just now figuring out that this solitary whateveryouwanttocallit you put yourself in wasn't what you wanted. I'm just saying that sweet and beautiful and awesome as she is, marrying the first girl you date is a rookie move."

"You're just saying that because Olivia's been so sick with this pregnancy and you're a horny mother fucker." Gavin interjects doing his best to squash a conversation that has the potential to derail this entire day. For Elliot's sake I bite my tongue, leaning back and crossing my legs to keep myself physically in check.

"Don't remind me. Kids. That's a whole 'nother sob story. Don't rush that either, man. We used to do it two, three, four times a week and then bam! Tyson's born and I'm lucky if she lets me dip my wick once a week. And forget blow jobs, those are a girlfriend thing according to Olivia. Married women don't do that." He imitates her voice and uses air quotes to show his displeasure. What? No more blow jobs. Fuck if that's going to happen.

"I call bull on that, Kev. Holly and I still have plenty of sex. Granted it's not like it was when we were dating and ok, I admit blow jobs are few and far between but she still gives them."

"Few and far between?" Ethan asks, both Elliot and I glaring at him.

"My birthday, Christmas. Once on the Fourth of July because she was on the rag and some chick from my office party was hitting on me." He sits back and closes his eyes with the memory. "Jealous oral is good oral."

Kevin sits back, "You've got one kid, Dale. Pop out another and see what happens. Sex life? Not happening."

"So keep having kids then. You're on number three, did you not learn from the first two?" I'm getting a damn headache listening to these two go at it. For as long as I can remember, Kevin and Gavin, brothers born only a year apart have always fought. Dale, poor guy was sandwiched between two sisters and only saw his male cousins at holidays since Uncle Spencer moved them to Northern California.

"Claude? Your input? You've been married longer than anyone in this car," Elliot asks. I can see the fear in his face though. I bet he and Kate do it as much as me and Ana do. Not as well of course but just as much.

"No way, man. You Grey's are on your own."

"Come on, you're married how long?" Ethan chides him. I do my best to not look at him since I know he's thinking about my sister and the possibility of them not...engaging in...stuff down the road.

"Nine years, two kids. Happy. You know why?" We all wait, brows raised for him to answer. "Because we respect each other enough to know what the others needs are and we meet them. And we don't talk about our private life with anyone else."

"An island," I say to nobody in particular. He nods.

"A deserted island."

At the range Jose greets us along with the establishments owners. For security and PR reasons the entire gun club has been closed today. The last thing I need is a picture of me shooting a gun getting printed in the papers since I fund anti-gun laws and preach about gun violence in America.

"Christian," He greets me with a hand shake, apologizing for being late. "We landed not even an hour ago, came straight here."

"Is Rachel with you then?" I look around but the only female on the premises is waitress who I notice is checking me out. Hard.

"No, went home to change and then she's meeting the girls at the spa." He turns around and greets everyone else while the waitress makes her way to me with a tray of cold beers.

"Mr. Grey, can I get you a drink? Or do you see something else you'd like?" She holds out the tray with bottles of expensive liquors but her meaning is clear. Move on whore. Married man. Well, almost married man.

"Nope, nothing I want in front of me here. Do you have any IPA's on tap?" And with that she wilts and shuffles off to get me my drink. Claude catches my eye and winks.

"Island, man. You'll be just fine." Ray waves me over then and hands me a pair of safety glasses.

"Put these on and follow me." My security team is past the point of on edge. In fact, as I watch Reynolds scamper behind us I'm pretty sure they've fallen over the cliff. Security in a controlled environment is one thing but to have to secure an area as large as this with a minimum of 20 guns being toted around is daunting. If they don't all quit after today and the wedding, I'll give them each a fat bonus.

Alone, at the very end of the walkway Ray turns to me and hands me what he explains is a 9mm.

"Unloaded but still not to be played with. Guns are deliverers of death," he starts, slamming in a clip with one hand while he stares at me. "I own nineteen of them. Nineteen guns and only God knows how many other weapons." He turns and hits a button on the wall, clipping a poster sized piece of paper onto what appears to be a zip line. "Hit that for me, son." I do, the paper fluttering out until I can barely make out the black outline of a person.

"Now my Annie, she knows all about guns and how to use them safely. She even knows the combo to my gun safe in my living room and my bedroom." He hands me ear plugs, waits for me to shove them in and then fires off 15 rounds in less than eight seconds. He drops the empty clip and shoves in a new one.

"By the grace of God I've not had to take one of those guns out for anything outside of cleaning and practice shooting." He switches hands and fires off the entire clip, motioning for me to hit the button on the wall again. When the paper comes back, there are numerous holes, all inside the shadow of a man.

"Don't make me have to change my routine, Christian." I grin. Message received. "My little girl can shoot but her daddy," he fires off one more clip at the target furthest away, a green light flashing the number 15 indicating that he hit it with every bullet. "Can shoot even better. Now, let's go have that beer."

On the way back we stop to watch my Grandfather and Uncle Skip get a detailed run down on how to disarm a gun. There are nine instructors in all, each back ground checked, NDA signed and mentally assessed. I've not seen my mom's brother in probably three years so to see him stand next to my Grandfather is a bit of a shock. They look exactly alike right down to the gray streak on the left side of their temples.

It makes me pause and look around at the rest of my family. Uncle Spencer and Dale, clearly father and son, the similarities not ending with the physical. Uncle Jamieson and his sons Gavin and Kevin, all hot headed, all loud and obnoxious, all similar in their appearance.

And then my dad, Elliot and I. We look nothing alike. Not even if you were trying to find a common family trait would you be able to. It hits me like a ton of bricks and damn does it sober me up. I'd never really thought about us as not being related in the DNA sense of the word. Ray continues on, walking into the alcove Devin and Casey are in to help the instructor so that I'm left alone to watch my dad and brother for a few minutes.

Our hair color is different, our builds aren't the same. Where my eyes are gray, Elliot's are blue and dads are brown. We're all tall but so are half the men out there. No gray streaks that mimic each other, no birthmarks or moles that we can blame on our parents. We share no health history nor do we share the smallest of blood lines.

But there they stand, father to son listening as someone teaches them how to take off the safety and how to hold a gun to avoid it jamming up your shoulder. In all my years, I've never even questioned why they adopted us. I know the way we all came to them of course but I've never known the reason they didn't have kids of their own. I was so focused on my own life and my own insecurities that it never even crossed my mind to wonder.

Neither Elliot nor I know who our birth fathers are. Both of our mothers were teens when they had us and listed no father on the certificate but unlike me, he wasn't born addicted to drugs. His mother, at the tender age of 16 had chosen my parents and had let them be there when he was born. She had refused to hold him or look at him, not out of hate but out of love. I wonder if he thinks of her at all and if he does if he's filled with hate the way that I am.

They stop and laugh at something together before focusing on the man now loading bullets into the clip. In typical Grey fashion they both pull at their hair, neither of them realizing that in moments of seriousness we all do it. But it's when I feel my fingers threaded through my own hair that the melancholy clears and I laugh at the nervous tick we all participate in.

For years I kept myself as insulated as possible because I truly felt that nobody would want to be near me. I thought that even my own family would hate me and disown me if given the chance to meet the real me but in the last few months, I've been the real me for the first time. And now I step back and see not just my dad, brother and grandfather here but every single man in my family. Every Uncle, every cousin. And they want to be here. They want to be celebrating with me. They're excited for me. It's humbling. Truly humbling.

Welch, technically off duty but still operating as my head of security, is doing all he can to not show off. The guy is an ex-CIA operative who specialized in anti-terrorism missions. He can probably out gun everyone here but he steps back and allows the instructor to show Barney how to aim, chuckling when the gun goes off and Barney shoves it away from him.

Barney backs up, hands up in submission and shakes his head emphatically when Welch tries to get him to come back. When he sees me he all but jogs over.

"Mr. Grey, Sir."

"Call me Christian today." He smiles and says it slowly.

"Christian." How long have I known him? Nine years? Eight? And I've never heard him say my name. He knows more about me than anyone here, including my security team and yet he's never used my name. It makes me feel like shit.

"I'm on my way to grab a beer with my father in law. Join us?" He hesitates, looking past me at the waitress who is very clearly waiting for me to come her way before shaking his head again. "Barney, it's a beer. Come on."

In the lounge area a few of us sit around and continue drinking despite the fact that it's three in the afternoon. I'm not exactly drunk but I am definitely in no shape to hold a gun let alone shoot it not that I would anyway. Instead I sit back and listen as Ray and Welch compare war stories.

"You're sitting like an old man, drink up."

"What the hell do you mean the way I'm sitting is old?" Elliot backs up and snaps a picture with his phone.

"Legs crossed like you don't have a set of nuts on you, which, if I think about it you don't since Ana's got them in her purse, arms outstretched on the rests like you own this place. Which you very well may since it falls in the realm of your kingdom but I'm pretty sure you haven't started investing in firearms yet. So drink up."

"I'm not sitting like an old man you jack ass." But then I look around at my dad and grandfather and three uncles, all sitting exactly like me. Well shit. "Fine. But switch me over to Glenlivit before I start peeing out of my ass."

"No can do baby brother. It's normal shit all the way today." He says this with four security guards flanking us and two limo's parked outside.

"Elliot, he really shouldn't be drunk for the next part of this shindig." That does not sound good but he ignores my father and shoves the shot glass under my nose, effectively shutting me up before I can ask.

"He'll be fine, we've got an hour yet." He checks his watch and claps. "Actually, we should go. Come on."

"Where to, E?" I'm getting a bit testy in all actuality. I played along and gave him my phone after breakfast but it's been a few hours and I'm jonesing to talk to Ana. I just want to hear her and find out what she's doing. I barely trust Kate and if they have her drinking like they have me drinking, I'm going to be pissed. But Elliot ignores me, throws his arm around my neck and drags me to the limos.

"Son, we'll see you at six for dinner." I'm a bit confused but go along with it when the older group takes off for parts unknown. Before we get in Barney slinks up to me, eyes darting left and right and stammers.

"They weren't serious were they? Before? Your cousins with the no sex and no blow job talk?" He wrings his hands together. "Because…I've heard that before, that marriage…you know…changes things." I pat him on the back and turn him towards the limo.

"Maybe for men who choose the wrong woman but for guys like us, it's not a problem." And it better not be because I will have a mighty fine fit if Ana falls into the no blow job category. Not that I'm worried. Barney looks at me all happy and free, smiling that goofy smile of his and climbs in, stopping half way to look back at me.

"You're right. Guys like us…we don't need to, you know, worry about that." Cute little fucker.

"Bungee jumping," I dead pan.

"Yup," Elliot says excitedly, rubbing his hands together. "You're taking the plunge in more ways than one little bro." I jump a bit when I feel someone grab my left arm, the contact taking me by surprise.

"Holy Cher. I'm going to shit myself. I know it." I pry Devin's fingers from my arm, trying hard not to join Elliot in laughing but it's useless.

"Dev, for a black man you are awfully pale right now." He ignores Elliot and grabs at Casey who rolls his eyes and pats his hand.

"Welcome to Amboy, Mr. Grey and congratulations. Your brother says this is a new experience for you, is that correct?" The guide, a kid no older than 21 shakes my hand and ushers us all into a lift to take us to the top of a bridge. I've always wanted to bungee jump but not having time to prepare myself for it is a bit of an adjustment.

After signing waivers and getting a quick rundown on what to expect, we're handed harnesses and told to choose our order.

"You first, cous. Your wedding, your funeral. May as well cut that line now!" Dale laughs at his own stupid joke and steps into the straps.

"Damn," Elliot mutters behind me, "I sat in gum." When I turn he pulls his ball sack out of the bottom of his shorts, an old joke from our teen years that is still funny as shit. Everyone but Devin laughs. He's too busy praying on his knees in the corner.

"I can't wear this. My dick's too big." I stand and adjust myself, all of us acting like kids talking about our packages. It's immature and stupid but when I get around Elliot and my cousins, stupidity abounds. Why it's funny for grown men to joke about their twig and berries is beyond me but I laugh until my eyes water and then pull my act together when some guy comes around to tighten the harness.

"Damn," I squeak. "Does it need to be that tight, I really do have a big dick." The guy laughs and hooks the carabineers into the grips.

"Everyone says that, dude. You'll be fine. Any looser and you'll slip right out."

"So you're saying our balls will save us from certain death?" Gavin grabs his groin affectionately.

"Sure, you can go with that. Who's first?" They all push me forward to jump. Until this very second I wasn't nervous at all. But when I stand on the edge of that precipice and look down at the rushing water 250 feet below the reality of what I'm about to do just seems…stupid.

Everyone is watching except for Devin who is still crouched in the corner but even their watchful eyes isn't enough to give me the bravado I need to actually jump. The kid is talking to me, no idea what he's saying over the roar in my brain but I see his lips moving and then he pats me on the arm, steps back and motions for me to fall. I stay put.

"You've got this, man. Just do it, don't think about it." I chuff and look around at Jose who is a good four men back.

"Easy for you to say from back there. Damn, El you couldn't have told me to prepare for this? What are your safety records on this? The bungee, your personal certifications, the companies? Is there something I could look at?"

"Your security vetted the entire operation and the operators two weeks ago. Daniel here has jumped over 200 times. You're in good hands, bro." I look down again, a stab of panic piercing my gut.

"Elliot. I don't know about this." He steps forward and plants his entire palm firmly in the middle of my back. I feel nothing but the heat from his hand. No panic, no pain, just a steadying pressure.

"Let me call Ana." He laughs and pulls out his phone.

"No service. This is all about you right now anyway. Let her have her day, you just be here with me right now." I continue to stand immobile. It's not necessarily fear that keeps me rooted to this spot but the knowledge that I'm finally getting all I want out of life. Is risking it worth it?

"I can see the headlines. 'Grey finally gets the girl and falls to his death'."

"Christian. You think I'd let you do something that would hurt you? I just got you back." He says the words quietly so that only I can hear them. "You fly a helicopter and glide a plane that weighs less than you do. You can do this, C, just do it. Let go and do it." One deep breath later and I step forward, my toes hanging over the side. He stands next to me but doesn't touch me.

"Don't close your eyes either, the fall is the best part."

He's right because the second I commit myself to this and step off the world around me rushes past in a blur of greens and browns, the sound of family and incredibly enough friends above me, the unknown depth beneath me. I don't feel like I'm flying but damn if I don't feel like I'm living.

At the bottom another kid unhooks me and checks me over for injuries of which there are none. I feel euphoric and untouchable, almost giddy as I wait for my brother to jump next. From the ground I see him wave at me and I wave back, my cheeks hurting from smiling and watch as he doesn't just fall off but jumps off, arching high in the air before plummeting down. So Elliot. Grabs life by the balls and rides it as hard as he can.

I greet him when he comes off and without thinking about it give him an honest to goodness hug. A man hug but still, I've never, ever initiated anything like this in my life. He laughs and pats my back hard, pulling away to let the operator take off his harness.

"Shit that was amazing! We've got to come back and do this again, bring the girls back with us."

"Absolutely not!" My good mood evaporates at the mere thought of Ana jumping. "They're not doing anything like this today are they? I swear to Christ, Elliot if Kate has her jumping from a bridge I will come unglued." He laughs and steers me towards the lift so we can join everyone up top.

"Chill out, they're doing girly crap all day. No dare devil stunts for the ladies."

By the time we get to the top Devin is next. His eyes are shut, his hands are clasped against his chest and he's muttering to no one in particular while Casey does his best not to laugh.

"…and I didn't mean to tell her there was no Santa but I did and her mom called my mom and oh I miss my mom, Casey. Did you know that? I should call her. She won't talk to me but maybe if she knew I was about to die she'd take the call…speaking of dye, I want my hair pink but the stylist said it wouldn't show but I want to take the chance, can I take the chance, Casey?" He nods and turns his shoulders towards the edge.

"I was going to wait until after the wedding but I should have done it when I wanted because what if I don't make it to the wedding, I'll never know if pink is my color and I'm ready to move on from blue…I have to tell you something, Casey." He grabs the arms of the laughing blond next to him and stares him down. "It's big. Don't get mad, please don't get mad." Casey stops laughing and looks straight in his eyes.

"Please don't be mad but when I said I've been going to the gym on Sunday mornings, I've been lying. I'm…I've been…I go to church! I've been going to church and I know I shouldn't have lied to you but that case, the one with the three kids at the preschool…well I needed to go to church." Casey throws his head back and laughs, turning his terrified lover back to the edge.

"Jump. For the love of Chanel, shut up and jump." Devin's eyes widen and he opens his arms.

"Chanel. I want to name our daughter Chanel." And then he jumps. Just like that while the rest of us wait for Casey to explain that little parting remark. He shrugs.

"No idea what he's talking about but I guess we're having a daughter and naming her Chanel."

"Where's your harness?" I ask. He gives me a 'get the hell out of here' look and walks to the lift.

"I wouldn't jump off a bridge even if a naked and hard Matt Bomer was waiting for me at the bottom."

"Good evening gentlemen, welcome to The Liquid Lounge. Please, take a seat wherever you feel most comfortable, your connoisseur is waiting." The room we're directed to is dark and geared towards men complete with dark wood accents, dark oversized armchairs and dim amber lighting. In front of each chair is a small table with eight small tumblers and a small bucket of ice. I take the seat in the front middle, flanked by my father and Ray who were all here waiting for us to arrive.

For the next hour our group samples private and reserved whiskey's from around the world, each one more expensive and better than the last. Between sample four and five my father handed out Cuban cigars from his private collection, walking around with a huge smile on his face very obviously enjoying himself.

By the sixth tumbler I'm feeling pretty good, almost numb and try as I might, I can't distinguish between the whiskeys anymore. They all just taste good to me. Mixed with good cigars and the left over adrenaline from bungee jumping and I'm as high as I've ever been. When I excuse myself to take a piss I run into Elliot in the hallway on the phone.

"I swear to God, Katie if you so much as let a needle touch your skin I will tan your ass for a year…don't you even try to play that card with me…it is so different…I don't give a shit if he's Bob Ross, nobody is inking you or touching you…don't you give me…what?...he did?" He turns and gives me a nasty look that I ignore, opting to hit the john instead.

"Did you tell Ana she couldn't sleep at our house the night before the wedding?" He assaults me the second I leave the bathroom.

"We discussed the need and determined there was none. Together."

"Bull shit. You don't want her away from you. Come on man, Kate had a whole night planned out for them. All the girls were going to come over, I was going to stay at Escala with you."

"They can do a girls night at our place then."

He takes a deep exasperated breath and tugs on his hair. "Her mom's not coming, Christian. She needs her girlfriends and all the annoying shit that comes along with that. Kate had this whole lingerie party thing planned and got Americana's to cater a breakfast. She invited that woman Hem that Ana goes on and on about and a few other women who are going to the wedding, Franco and his team are coming at ten…"

I hear nothing after lingerie party.

"What in the fuck is a lingerie party?" He grins, adjusts his stance and crosses his arms.

"Only the best party in the world. I guess all the girls bring a set of…nighttime accessories and they give them to her. Like a bridal shower but with crotchless panties." Hard on. Instant and embarrassing considering I'm talking to my brother.

"Well that changes things," I mutter much to his amusement.

"I thought it might."

"Why not just give it to her at the shower tomorrow? Which, by the way, is going to cause me to kill our mother. If she asks me one more time what Ana likes I might go postal."

He shrugs. "How the hell should I know why women do what they do?"

"You've fucked enough of them to write the manual." He laughs.

"Fucking them is easy. Understanding them is an unbreakable code that only gay men have ever been able to crack."

After a drunken dinner at the premier steak house in the city the older men break off again, shaking hands with me to extend their best wishes and goodbyes. Our limo takes us all back to Escala where I'm ordered to shower and dress to go out. Where I don't know, but I do as I'm instructed and throw on a pair of gray slacks and a white button down. I'm tired and cranky from a long day but Elliot is too excited to deny so off we go, still drinking whiskey and making lewd jokes entirely inappropriate for a lady's ears.

"My club?" Ethan jumps out and walks to the door to bypass the line outside. I closed on this business five weeks ago after deciding with Ros that Grey Holdings was lacking an entertainment division.

"Just trust me." Famous last words from my big brother.

"Somehow every time you say that to me I end up with a bloody nose or a trip to the principal's office." He laughs and nods once to the bouncer who lifts the velvet rope for us.

"Are the girls coming here because I'm not hanging around if it's just the guys." I yell over the blare of Nicki Minaj singing about an alarm or something. Elliot points and then snaps his head back to me but it's too late. I've already seen it.

Some asshole is standing behind my fiancée, dressed to kill in a short sequined gold dress. She's unaware he's there but then he puts his hands directly on her ass and pushes up against her.

I see red. I don't feel my legs move, I don't notice the people I throw out of my way, I don't even feel the smash of my knuckles on the cock suckers face. It's not until Ana presses herself behind me and Elliot grabs my arm that I register what I've done.

"Well," Elliot says, looking down at the guy trying to get up off the floor who is now running his mouth, "it may not be the principals office but you just might end up at the police station anyway."