Thank you R.V. and S.M. I have been having a good time with both of your worlds.

They say that cats have nine lives.

But that was a lie, and she didn't need nine lives anyways.

She just needed the one, and she needed to live it as if it would escape her.

Any moment now.

7.

BPOV

As soon as I shifted back, I stumbled. I quickly adjusting to my new body. I turned around and grabbed up the discarded pile of ripped and wrinkled clothes, and held them against my breast. It felt like some was watching me.

Suddenly, I dropped my already rumpled outfit, clutching my stomach. I was painfully nauseous. If I thought vampires couldn't feel pain, then I was dead wrong. My eyes wandered, looking for a reprieve in the beautiful forest and finding none.

In the distance I could see a tall figure but could not make out exactly who it was. The evening fog had set in real heavy. I had to force myself to ignore my nausea. My nakedness embarrassed me. It never had before. But my stomach was hurting too much to care.

Who was wandering in the forest? Was it someone who belonged? Someone that was in on one, or both of my secrets? Or was it someone I that should be afraid of? Or was I the real danger?

"Hello?" I called weakly. "Anybody there?" I didn't see were the person went. Where did they go?

Then the person reemerged into my line of vision. It was Edward. I didn't know quite what to say. How much had he seen? Had he seen my new cat form?

"Hello Bella," he said. His voice was like soft velvet. I could tell that this situation was just as awkward to him as it was to me. He trying hard not look at me and it took a second to realize why. In human society, nudity was frown upon. Edward was born into a society where modesty was everything. To a werecat, it was just a part life. Tight and sexy clothing was more of a turn on, then begin butt ass naked.

Before I could say anything else, I fell to the ground. I was clutching my stomach, and gagging. Edward was immediately at my side. One hand held my hair back and the other one rubbed small, soothing circles softly on my back. When I was done, he moved us back. I took a leg of my pants and swiped my mouth off. He sat down on the forest floor and pulled me into his lap. He wrapped his arms me and held me until I was calmer.

"Are you alright," Edward finely asked. He held me tight against his chest like he was afraid I would bolt. I wanted to hate him with every inch and fiber of my being. This was his fault. But sitting here in the middle of only god knows where, he made he feel safe. I didn't answer except to nod.

I took a moment to breath in his sent. It alone was enough to make me feel light-headed. I pulled myself up into a sitting position in his lap. This made he squirm a little, but he didn't fight me. There was a lot to talk about. We were never alone at the house. We were talking now.

"What about you? Are you alright?" I asked Edward. I had to know. I was looking at his face, but I couldn't look him the eye. He said we were tit for tat.

When this was over we would be two of a kind. I knew that I had to help him. I didn't know what to expect, but neither did he. This had to be scary for him.

"I'm fine," Edward said. I could tell his arm was still hurting him by the way he avoided using it. I pulled the sleeve of his shirt up so I could see it better. It was long, red, and nasty looking. But I couldn't see of it all. I started pulling at his shirt. I think my behavior was confusing him.

"Take the shirt off or I'll rip it off," I commanded him. For just a second I saw something in his eyes. Maybe I made him mad. "Your arm still hurts," I bluntly stated what I suspected was the truth. He didn't fight me for very long.

"Fine," Edward admitted, whispering. "But it was nothing."

After I helped him with taking off his steel gray t-shirt, I got the see the real problem. The scratch ran from his shoulder to damn near his elbow. I had never seen scratch fever take hold of someone before, but I was sure this was not how it was suppose to look. The scratch had glazed over, but nothing was mending. The area around it reminded me of how a patch of mud would dry in the sun. I brushed a few fingers over the mark. With morbid fascination I watched pieces of his dried skin flake away.

I could see the drying and cracking was spreading. It had traveled up his shoulder and creeping across his collarbone.

Vampire skin is so different. The skin on the other hand was diamond hard. I touched the skin on my arm. Bulletproof compared to a human but still softer than him.

"Are all vampires this hard," I asked

"Yes," he made it sound like a question. He took a moment to return the examination. To see why I asked. He took a note of the difference. "Your muscles are still rock hard like my skin, but your skin is more flexible."

Edward shook his head stubbornly at what I was doing, but stayed quite. If I watched long enough, I could almost watch it spread. I looked up to see him watching me. I found myself staring into his dark golden eyes, trying to find the secret to unlock Edward's psyche.

"No one deserves this, Edward," I said, and my voice was a whisper also. I stayed settled where I was. He was really comfortable. He made a good seat. He seem to enjoy me sitting in his lap. He had been the one to pull me to him. I didn't want this to end. As much as I would love to sit and listen to the sounds of the forest, I knew we needed talk.

"I don't know what's going to happen. I really don't know what to tell you. I wish I just... I wish that I could just make it right, and stop this from happening. But I can't." I pause for second and peaked up at him. He was being very still and very quite. Then I went on, "I think something's happening to your body…turning into some sort of hybrid. Like me. " The last two words came whispered.

He didn't say again anything for a few seconds. We sat in silence for God knows how long. Finally Edward whispered in my ear, "I know. Alice told me." He pulled me closer, and wrapped his good arm around me. In turn, I rested my cheek on his shoulder. For the first time since this had happen to him and I, everything felt like it would work out for the better. Why did this feel so good?

And Alice. She who knows so much. She who sees so much and feels so much. I don't understand how that warm heart of hers isn't beating. I just...I feel like nothing in the world makes sense anymore. All I can do from this point on, is to try to make things right.

"Are you scared?" I asked. Softly, I reach out to the arm I scratched. I couldn't stop myself. Carefully I touch it again. Its was almost nefarious watching his old skin flake away as I brush the scratch. "Does this hurt?"

Finally Edward shook his head. "Yes it hurts, but it doesn't really matter. The pain is the same either way. Look Bella, I've done some really bad things in this life. Maybe this is payback."

Is that really what he believed?

The truth is, I have doubts of my own. I don't trust my own control. I wouldn't be honest if I told Edward that I was perfectly fine with what had happened between us. The truth is, I wish I wasn't a vampire. Yeah, I know that now I'll live forever, but what does that mean, and do I really want to?

I was the last tabby of my pride. My real father and mother had died in a fire. After that I had been taken in by the Southeastern pride. I was a female werecat. I was a rarity. Now forever taken away from my people. I was a true outcast.

But I had to fix what I had done wrong. I had to be there for Edward, as strange as it sound. He was there for me when I needed it. I had to let him see that there is a fine line between feeling guilty and not knowing how to forgive oneself.

What has happened, can not be changed. No matter how angry I might be, I forgave Edward a long time ago. As fucked up the whole situation was, I honestly was not mad at him. Even that thought took a minute for me to wrap my head around. I might not be happy with where I am right now, but Edward doesn't deserve this pain. And I'm not just talking about his physical pain, even tho I am the cause. He is so good at hiding his pain. No. I'm talking about all of his fears. His self-hatred too. I wondered how he survived for a century in this coma-like state.

"I want to make it better for you," I whispered, gently taking Edward's hand and squeezing it. I knew it was now a waiting game. All we could do is sit and watch. Watch Edward's condition get worse and worse and then it would finally be over. Then he would be like me. There would be nothing different for Edward or me. That last thought stopped my breathing for a second.

I was totally screwed. We would both be lying to ourselves. I know that there is no way my family would ever forgive me. I know that I would be shunned, if they ever found out what happened to me. What I am now? A vampire – a parasite. It was better for them to think I was dead.

Is it my soul that thinks this? Or is it simply the neutrons in my brain that does the thinking. If that is the case, could Edward be right, we do not have souls? This was too much, too quickly.

"I'll be fine," Edward insisted and scattering my train of thought. But he wasn't that good at hiding his pain. Maybe he was relieved to finally be feeling physical pain after a century of none, and perhaps it alleviates some of the emotional pain. How twisted!

"Take me home," I begged in quite voice.

"Yeah, no problem." And then he preceded to stand up with me still sitting were I was. He shifted his bad arm under my legs as his stood up. It didn't seem to brother him one way or another. "Let's get you home." He paused and took a deep sniff of my hair. Vampires could be so catlike.

"Not yet," he stopped what he was doing. He gave me a confused look, but stayed quit. "My clothes?" He took a moment to glance down at me. To really look at me. He had been trying so hard to not think about my nakedness. I have been sitting in his lap, naked for over an hour. I had noticed that he had noticed.

"That's a shame," he said as he dropped me gracefully to my little feet. Something had changed between us.

When we came home the house was empty. We ended up sitting on one the white couches watching television together. He claimed one corner as his and sprawled on it. After being so close to him in the woods, I found myself craving that again.

I didn't understand. So I decided to be stubborn and sat on the cushion next to him. I saw his eyes flicker over at me. His hand twisted and reached for me. He stopped and looked away. He was nervous. He really did like me. But he was an introvert.

He had spent too many years knowing what a person was thinking. Living with a family that was use to it. He was the most ignored person in the house. He preferred it that way. It was the only privacy that he had.

I leaned against his knees, placing my elbow on his thigh. I turned my head towards him, to watch him. I wasn't being coy with Edward. I am normally very shy. But Edward had spent to many years hiding in a room full of people.

Honestly I don't think he knew what to do with a female. He was tense. Tentatively, I reached out to him with my other hand. At first he only stared. Then he surprised me by reached out to take my hand with his good one.

I enjoyed what we had in the forest. I wanted that back. I crawled back into his lap. I was gifted with a smile from his bittersweet lips. He was more relaxed this time. I am betting that the extra layer of clothing helped.

Maybe I was a good distract from the pain. He wouldn't admit it. As much as I hated that he felt he had to keep it bottled up inside, I admired the strength he had. A lesser man would be screaming in agony. Stray fever was painful in the extreme. I just hated the way he held to the pain as a self-imposed burden. To keep it inside and deny its existence would only make the pain worst.

When I would ask him about it, he would brush me off. I gathered from his body language, that he was in a lot of pain. Not having experienced pain for a century, he was not used to it, which thus made it even harder.

I tried not to remember my transformation, wondering if I was the same way. Had I held in my screams to alleviate Edward's mental torment towards his own transgressions?

Soon, the rest of the family came home to find us in the in the living room. "We're not interrupting something, are we?" Emmett teased. I shook my head. We both sat up, and move to a more formal position.

Jasper came over to sit silently beside Edward. It took me a moment to realize what he was doing. He willingly taking a portion of Edward's pain on himself. We all were trying to what we could to alleviate Edward's pain as much as possible.

I couldn't help but have this ominous feeling that we were in the calm before the storm. Maybe even the eye of the hurricane. Everything was so calm and still and nobody moved a muscle. Jasper's presents in the room made time feel like it had come to a stop.

This left my mind room to wonder. I couldn't help but fear what was to come. The Cullens were already like a family to me. They couldn't replace my real family, but I found that inside myself I genuinely cared about them.

I wish that the storm would just come, knock us all down already so we could just get up and start the mending process. Some wounds are too deep, too bloody to mend. If I had known. But everyone says that, right?

But now with Edward even paler than the usually norm, I had my reminder right there in front of me. The word at school was he had some weird, rare blood disease. The best part? The Cullens didn't have a chance to think up a condition, the rumor mill at school did it for us. Apparently, Charlie told the school, the day after I came up missing, was that I was homesick, and went back home. In actuality, home was looking for me.

Looking back at Edward on the couch, he looked like death warmed over. His usually freezing forehead, was a tad bit warmer than usual. It almost looking like bad Halloween make-up. He was white faced with dark sunken eyes. Carlisle was right, it seemed like Edward had a fever. He hadn't gone hunting since the day he bit me. Jasper had tried to take him hunting, but according to Jasper, Edward became nauseated and couldn't keep anything on his stomach. Could a vampire stave to death?

Then, I damn near slapped myself in horror. I could not just believe how morbid my thoughts had turned.

I wished that this could end as soon as possible so Edward could be fine again. Maybe more different than before, but still fine. From across the room, Jasper slowly turned his head to me, but he said nothing.

That was when I realized that Alice, Jasper, and Edward were the keeper of secrets in the family. How much did they know, about anyone they came in contact with? Edward couldn't read my mind. Could the same be said for all werecats? Alice couldn't see mine or Edward's future clearly. I was pretty sure that was common for all of my kind. But I was an open book for Jasper.

Suddenly the room was too small. I left the little bubble of comfort that I had sitting next to Edward. It was too crowded with everyone else there. I tried to do this at a normal pace. I just needed to go to my room for a while. I needed the illusion of privacy. No one said a word as I left the room. Everyone needs their own space.