HAYTHAM
I was no longer myself.
Only did I realise it when she was gone. Ziio's love was the only thing that kept me sane. What manner of evil would I be without her? This was what I looked like, deprived of the one I yearned for. I was scattered as pieces of glass. My heart was barely beating. I hardly ate, nor spoke, nor even moved.
Why?
Nature was the cruelest evil. After the care and affection which raised her to strength, Ziio was snatched from this world. All because of the forest around her. It choked me simply thinking about how a woman so beautiful could come to such an end. Whatever flowed through her head in those last moments, before the predator struck...I couldn't imagine it. I closed my eyes and saw the trauma piercing her eyes; her mouth open to scream.
I'd expected my heart to harden at the news. Instead, it seemed to melt. It was much like myself: everything – everything from the original Haytham – was but fluid. Unfixable. Weak. Numb.
There was no chance that she could've survived. Every time she spoke of Ratohnhaké:ton – Connor – her flawless face would enliven. Had she lived, she'd have gone straight home to him. She loved our son. She'd loved both of us. She said she did.
I kept wondering if I tried everything. If only I rode by the village again...I could've checked. I could've seen her straight to the entrance, and she'd be safe. Connor would never be an enemy. The tribe would accept me as an ally, and Ziio and I could've remained the way we did.I should've saved her. I'd allowed her to die, not knowing what she meant to me. I never said the words – well, not while she was conscious. I never said 'I love you'. If only I had. That way, I wouldn't be sat on my bed, silent tears falling down like a lovesick fool.
I knew I wouldn't be the same. All the hope I had of seeing her face again; of holding her and keeping her safe from harm...all my childish dreams were gone. I'd never see her again.
Never.
Haytham,
Forgive the shaking hand by which I write this. Perhaps I was lying when I said I could not read. I am sorry for saying it. That was when I was ungrateful, and frustrated. Thanks to you, those days are behind me now.
Thank you for everything. I could go on and on about how much I am in your debt, but my space and time grows short. I'll remember your acts of selflessness – you and all your staff. All men should be like you, Haytham. This world would truly be a better place.
Over the past few weeks I've had a thousand words to say, but simply held my tongue. There are certain parts that I dare not spill (else this letter might take weeks to write). But as my final mark of honesty, I will confess as best I can.
Fate is a beautiful thing. It guides us, guards us, and – in so many ways – shapes us. When we settled our differences long ago, part of me felt separate from the rest. Part of me thought that fate was wrong; that it could never end like this. I told myself I would meet you again. I'd have to meet you again. And when I did, I already sensed myself falling back into my old ways, like this was how I was meant to behave.
These ways took hold entirely when we danced. I wanted to say something, that night...but dared not. What if this was nature's accident? What if this was a warning: do not stumble on the past? But last night – seeing you so helpless, so vulnerable on the floor - it tore my heart from my mind. Fate makes no mistakes. If I felt this way, it was what nature intended.
And now, in the dusk of my stay, I have realised too late. Only now do I see that – no matter how you and I avoid each other – we always end up together once more. It is like we are ever-bound side by side. Everbound. Is that a word in English? It should be.
Even so, only when my heart is starved of what it needs, I find that we are everbound. Have you felt this, too? I hope these words are no waste, for it takes more courage to confess than I ever dreamed. But it is the truth.
I love you, Haytham Edward Kenway, and I always will. Always and forever.
Yours,
Ziio.
Sorry for this short update. I didn't think there was a lot to be said, really. Haytham wouldn't feel like saying much anyway, haha. The italics (if it wasn't obvious is Ziio's letter. Did you spot the word 'everbound' in it? That's where the title comes from: it's one of Ziio's inventions.
Another song-title chapter, too! 'Lovesick Fool' by The Cab is one of my favourite songs. You have to check out their new album, too – it's called 'Lock Me Up' and it's amazing! Anyway, huge digression and a lot of waffle there. I'll shut up now.
JUST thought I'd mention...21,000 hits, 95 reviews, 80 followers and 57 favourites?! THAT'S CRAZY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! OH MY GOODNESS I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THIS! That's more views than You Have My Word has in total! WOW! THANK YOU!