She's alive. She's alive. She's alive
That had been my mantra for the past hour. There was just no way she could be dead. That's something I would know right? I'd know if the ambulance with her and Alex had blown up and she had been killed in the explosion. I'd just know if she were dead, not that I'm a religious person, but it just seems like there's be a shift in the universe if she were dead. EMS said there was one DOA but they didn't specify before they too lost connection. I paced the abandoned corridor of the hospital deep in thiught. All my thoughts were specifically Meredith. She could not be dead. We just haven't had enough time yet. I still have things I want to show her and stuff I need to say. She hasn't even met my entire family yet. I feel the tears begin to build and I quickly force them back down. I will not break down, not until I know for sure there is good reason. But I won't break down because MEREDITH ISN'T DEAD. Yet I still pace the hallway checking my pager constantly. Owen promised to page me when there was news but there hasn't been any news and it's driving me up the wall. I take a deep breath, and as I turn instead of continuing down the well paced hall I veer to the right and push through the double doors that lead back to the main hospital. I'm not sure where I'm going but I need to get out of my head. As I make my way to the central nurses' station my pager beeps. I pull it from my waistband. EMS ETA 2M. EMS is two minutes out. The truth is revealed in two minutes. Without even thinking, I reroute to the stairs and break into a run. I burst into the stairwell and take steps two or three at a time. I almost trip more than once but I keep running until I reach the ambulance bay. Owen, Arizona and Bailey are already there and I can hear the wail of the sirens in the distance. I rock back and forth on the balls of me feet in anticipation until finally the first ambulance pulls up. It's big and green unlike the ones I'm used to seeing but honestly it could be purple fir all I care as long as it doesn't roll Meredith out on a stretcher. The doors open and Alex hops out cradling the baby to his chest. There are no signs of Meredith but I take it as a good sign that Alex is unharmed. I desperately want to ask him about Meredith bur ge is whisked away by Arizona and the next ambulance pulls up. The paramedics jump out and a stretcher rolls out and I breath a sigh relief when I see a teenage boy on the gurney and not Meredith. The third ambulance pulls up and I hear her voice. It is strong and commanding which makes me feel a little better. Then she rounds the corner side by side with a stretcher and I almost collapse with relief. She's okay. I notice the cut on her forehead but it doesn't look serious. We lock eyes and a look of understanding passes between us. As she's about to pass my I grab her elbow and envelope her in my arms, burying my nose in her hair.
She's alive. She's alive. She's alive.