A/N: don't even read this srsly

Chapter 7: Emotion

Lily lay in her bed for what had to have been at least an hour. She was unable to fall asleep, which is why she had been in the common room in the first place. Watching the fire relaxed her. But now, laying in the darkness, things were different. Her thoughts ran in circles.

I don't know what I did to make Petunia hate me. I wish Potter would leave me alone, or at least comb his hair once in a while. Why is Severus such a dick? If James hadn't bullied him he never would have called me that. If I hadn't been friends with James, he wouldn't have called me that. Everybody I care about turns against me. Petunia… Serverus…

She didn't realize she was crying until she felt her mattress shift under the weight of a second person. It was Dorcas.

"Lily, what's going on?" She asked, quiet.

Lily hiccuped, afraid to wake Marlene. Dorcas ran her hand through Lily's hair. Her touch was gentle and soothing.

"My mother was hospitalized again," Lily whispered.

Dorcas lowered herself so they were face to face.

"Severus was bothering me after the Slug Club meeting, I pretended he didn't exist. He's so annoying, I wish he could do the same. Thank god for Black, he rescued me. Never thought I'd say that…" Lily laughed a little. She wiped her eyes. Dorcas grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I'm behind in transfiguration. And potions. I barely finished the History of Magic essay on time. I had to ask Slughorn for a deadline extension!"

Lily felt the mattress shift under weight again. Marlene had joined them, her hand rubbing circle's on Lily's back.

"There are so many articles about muggles being murdered," Lily continued. She was at a normal volume now that she didn't have to worry about waking Marlene,"It scares me. Are we going to be okay? Is my family going to be okay?"

The sun was starting to rise and Lily was starting to feel tired.

"I was talking to McGonagall," Marlene said, "About the muggle deaths. She said Dumbledore isn't going to just sit back and watch the ministry ignore it."

The girls were quiet for a moment, thinking about what that could mean. Was Dumbledore going to take the position of minister of magic? Was he going to leave Hogwarts? Lily didn't like the thought of that.

"What does that mean?" Dorcas asked the question they were all thinking.

"McGonagall said we'd find out after graduation."

"But we aren't even seventh years!"

"Dorcas, you aren't this dumb," Marlene said, a little irritated. "Ever since first year, we were told that Hogwarts has never seen a house that was as close as we are. Out of all the students that have passed through Hogwarts, our year is different. We're not only talented, but we like each other. We care about each other. We protect each other. Whatever Dumbledore is planning, He's going to ask us all to join in on it. And we're all going to say yes."

That was the end of the conversation. Lily didn't feel as though she had the energy to talk about it. But if she had, she would agree with Marlene.

Throughout the week, Dorcas helped Lily plan to so that she'd have time to catch up on her homework. It took a little extra effort for her to remain on top of new assignments. But it worked. They planned a big spa night on Friday as a reward. Marlene was looking forward to it after an accident at quidditch practice. It was nothing detrimental, but she had fallen off, and it left her sore for a few days.

Friday night came, and Lily found herself with her face covered with a beauty potion. Marlene had ordered it from her Witch Weekly magazine. Dorcas was snacking on licorice wands, flipping through a horoscope book. Marlene was reading the directions on a color changing charm that was specific for hair. There was a quiet knock on the door, and Lily assumed it was a homesick first year, so she opened it with a smile. However, it was professor McGonagall.

"May I come in?" The professor asked.

Lily nodded and opened the door wide enough for McGonagall to enter. McGonagall looked at the three girls and conjured a chair for her to sit in. Dorcas offered her a licorice wand, but she declined politely with a small shake of her head. Dorcas was the one who said what they were all thinking.

"Professor, it's always a pleasure, but what are you doing in our dorm? Did you hear about our spa nights? They're legendary!"

"Last year we made over Mary MacDonald, everybody was talking about it for weeks," Marlene offered.

"It was iconic!" Dorcas agreed, smiling.

"I would not like a make-over," Professor McGonagall said, "I come bearing bad news."

Lily's heart sank. She looked to the other girls. She sent a prayer up to every entity she could think of. She asked for her family to be safe, for the marauders to be safe, for the professors to be safe...

"Ms. Meadowes," McGonagall addressed Dorcas.

Lily only felt a little guilty for the feeling of relief as she thanked her lucky stars that her family was off the list of endangerment.

"Your brother was cornered. He put up one hell of a fight, but it was three against one. He didn't make it."

Lily felt herself overcome with emotion. She let out the most disgusting cry she had every heard from herself. Dorcas was still. She didn't move. Lily used every ounce of her willpower to compose herself. For Dorcas she told herself.

"Who did it?" Dorcas asked.

"You-Know-Who himself made an appearance, and we think…"

"I want to fight." Dorcas said firmly. She was determined.

"We all do," Marlene told McGonagall.

Lily nodded. She wiped her tears. She felt useless. She wanted to do something. Anything.

"For now," McGonagall advised, "Focus on school. Focus on each other. Finish strong because we're stronger together."

McGonagall left the room. Lily looked at the chair, their newest piece of furniture. She was just thinking that it would make a great cloak rack when she heard wailing from Dorcas. She looked over to see Marlene rushing to her side.

"Let it out," Marlene said, "Let it all out."

"He's gone!" Dorcas shrieked, "It hurts."

Lily walked over to Dorcas's other side and took her hand. The girls cried together for hours, until Dorcas tired herself out. She lay between Marlene and Lily, her breathing finally steady.

"It's personal now, isn't it?" Marlene asked.

If Lily was being honest, it was always personal. You-Know-Who's rampage against muggle borns wasn't something she ever ignored. From the moment Lily first heard about it (Second year, she had been reading the daily prophet with Sirius. She asked him about an article. He told her all about everything. She didn't talk to him for two weeks. Severus confirmed everything Sirius had told her.) Lily had wanted to do something to stop it. She didn't tell all of this to Marlene, though.

"Yes," She is all told Marlene.