Death: So many ideas to keep up with.

Chapter Three Between a Rock and a Hard Spot

=3=

That same night Erwin presented his offer, Levi couldn't sleep. He had told the commander to give him some time to think it over, as he was unnerved at how tempting Erwin worded his bargain. And he couldn't quite get over how that, if he took a step back to examine all the facts, Erwin was only doing this to use him for his skills.

No matter what, all I'm good for is to be someone's tool. Now I have to decide which side to be used from.

It was a daunting dilemma.

On one hand, he could go back to the way things were. And hopefully without any trouble from Kenny for falling into a trap. On the other hand, he can experience freedom. He can be free of these strings the government had on him. He can be free of the blood that stained his hands. However, it would cost him greatly. It would cost him his uncle, the last family he had left.

On top of that, there was the concern whether or not they could really pull this off. And if things didn't to according to plan, then he would definitely end up dead. It didn't matter to the government that he's the nephew to Kenny, the one the top ranked assassin was raising to replace him someday. All they would see is a traitor that should be presented at the chopping block immediately.

"Why are you so down all the time?" The brat's voice interrupted the silence.

"Why are you so mopey all the time?" Levi hissed back.

"Jeez, you didn't have to get so defensive. I was just wondering why you've been so quiet since you had that talk with the commander. You hardly even touched your dinner." Eren pointed at the still mostly full plate.

"What, you suddenly care about me or something?"

"You know, you shouldn't take your irritation out on everyone. You're just going to push everyone away and before you know it, there's no one there for you."

"And so the brat graduated into a philosopher." Levi stared at the boy. "You stuck up for me earlier, why?"

"…Maybe because what you said a few days ago started to make sense." Eren ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"That we're nothing more than tools for the Survey Corp? That sunk in your head quicker than I thought it would." Levi was about to inquire what made Eren see what he saw, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

We don't get visitors after dinner…

For a tense moment both prisoners stared into the darkness where the light of the torches couldn't illuminate. As a figure came forth and both of them sighed in relief to see a grinning Hange. One of them was flustered to be overly cautious, while the other felt like that grin wasn't a good sign.

"Why do I get a bad feeling about this?" Levi was the first one to speak.

"Oh, it's a good smile. I just talked it over with Erwin, and both of you get your own rooms soon. Oh, and Levi, starting tomorrow you get to take care of Stella. And someone will be visiting to get your measurements, I guess Erwin already called in for your uniform to be made."

"Wait, he's becoming one of us?"

At the sound of Eren's voice, the assassin snapped.

"Last I checked, I didn't give that man my answer. And he already thinks he can get me a uniform? Tell Erwin I don't want anything he offers. I don't give a damn anymore, I'm leaving. His pretty words and puppetry will have no effect on me." The venom in his voice surprised them, for they stared at him with horror.

"But…he wouldn't allow you to just leave. I don't want to see you as our prisoner anymore. And we could use someone like you in the field." Hange's voice was shaky, as if they were trying not to break down.

The hurt in his first friend in this hellhole cut deeper than any blade.

"Oh, that's a great idea. Enlist the help from an assassin to kill titans. You know, I may have never seen one in person, but I have heard they're nearly identical in biology to a human. So if you think about it, you and I aren't much different. Killing things is a fine job. But I bet you don't enjoy yours, do you?"

He was their prisoner. And for the first time he showed them his true colors. He was now a caged animal, one that had at first been compliant, but was now baring his fangs. His demeanor was threatening, and for the first time Hange and Eren were afraid of someone that wasn't a government official or pompous Wall religion freaks.

"Are you saying you enjoy what you do?" Hange saw hurt and despair hidden in his eyes, there was a hunch, and they were trying to follow it.

"I enjoy cutting open flesh. I enjoy the act of having someone's life in my hands, and ending their short pathetic lives to nothing. I get some sick pleasure from killing, yes, and if that makes me a monster, then ask yourselves something. What makes you pathetic soldiers any different than me?"

Although he wore a smirk that will forever haunt them, his eyes spoke volumes. He wasn't aware of the tears threatening to fall, the pain his eyes held in them from memories he tried so hard everyday to repress. He wasn't aware of his voice cracking, all he felt was his throat was raw and dry. Despite his pain, he revealed to them a different angle of their world.

What is the difference? Eren wondered, now feeling disturbed at the thought.

"Levi, I believe this form of life you've had before now was forced, wasn't it?"

"Drop it, shitty glasses. Before I start itching to slice your throat." The watery eyes were gone, as well as the hurt in his voice. His eyes and body language was nothing short of seriousness.

"Okay, okay. I will drop it. I'm no threat to you, Levi. I like to consider you my friend. I hope I didn't cross a boundary that stops you from seeing me as your friend, because I really want to help."

"You can help by leaving me alone right now, before there's anymore damage done." He turned away from Hange, not showing his back but not looking at them either.

"Will do. Let me warn both of you that Erwin will be visiting tomorrow morning. He's going to brief you guys what we're going to do tomorrow. I think he plans to continue our last experiment of Eren's Titan form, but I'm not sure. Anyway, night."

Just before Hange left, they hesitated. Looking over a shoulder for one last look at the assassin.

"Levi, to answer your question. There is a difference between us. We fight for humanity, while you diminish it. A life is a life, even if some disgusting human didn't deserve to exist."

And like that Hange left, leaving Levi to ponder those words.

=3=

Morning came too early. Levi hadn't slept a wink the night before, contemplating what had transpired. Hange's words replayed over and over in his head. With those words came memories of his past that he found questionable.

Me being an assassin wasn't my choice, but it wasn't forced either. Or is that considered forced?

Levi knew nothing else in life than killing, fighting, and how to evade the Military Police. When the king needed someone out of the picture, it was up to him or Kenny to take care of the order. He never met the king himself, but he didn't doubt one bit that the orders came from no one else but the king. The targets were carefully strategic. And for most of them the orders said the killing had to look accidental.

And then there were the orders that captured their targets and tortured for information. In some sick way he enjoyed those missions more than anything else, especially if the target was to be killed afterwards. The idea of giving someone hope for surviving after handing over the needed information, then see the horror stricken faces when they realize that they would still be six feet under, sent thrilling chills down his spine.

He didn't lie when he confessed he enjoyed the act of killing. However, the guilt, shame, and nightmares never went away for him. No amount of washing his hands would rid them of his victims blood. Kenny told him that it eventually got easier, but for Levi, it never did. He didn't bother informing his uncle that little fact, and perhaps it was better that way. Kenny would see him as weak and pathetic.

Why do I care what he thinks? He's probably planning out how to kill me right now.

And for some reason, he wasn't terrified of the idea.

He snapped out of his recurring thoughts when he heard footsteps. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Erwin, his skin prickling when the man stood in front of his cell. Those eyes bore into him, and they were making him uncomfortable. It was always unnerving how Erwin was the only person other than Kenny that could do this to him. People don't make him uncomfortable if he would allow it.

"I heard what happened last night. The offer is still on the table, if you're interested."

"You still believe I would change my mind after what I said last night?" Levi was confused, wondering what was going through that man's head.

"I believe in second chances. And I'm not one to give up just yet." Erwin shrugged, as if this was an everyday thing.

"Mmm…huh? Oh, morning, sir." Eren yawned as he sat up in his bed, rubbing an eye before stretching.

"Good morning, Eren. As Hange informed you last night, I'm here to brief you about today. We're moving both of you into your own rooms. And we are also continuing the experiment Hange started with you a few days ago."

"Okay, but what does Levi get to do today?"

"I was thinking after the experiment, we all enjoy an outing with our gears. I would like to have a better view of Levi in action."

"What, putting me into training or something? I don't believe I gave you my answer." Levi crossed his arms at the idea.

"No, just some fun with the gear. I know you need to distress, and I get the feeling you share the same need as most of us here."

"And what is that, if I may ask?"

"Flying."

That word sunk in, and Levi felt his heart leap. It didn't bother him that the man guessed what he enjoyed most in life other than killing. It was the fact the man was going to allow him to use the gear for the first time in days. He had been itching to be in the air again, but never made any mention of the need.

"I would however advise that you don't pull any tricks or attempts to finish the job you failed. I also encourage that you don't run away, either. But that doesn't mean I won't stop you from leaving."

"What!? But, sir…isn't that dangerous?" Eren stared wide eyed at the commander, now wide awake.

"I cannot keep a bird caged before it turns on us. Just like how I cannot limit its time flying. I can't stand by idling while someone is suffering internally, and won't trust any of us to help relieve the burden." With those last words Erwin sent a knowing look at the assassin.

At that moment Levi felt something. His chest hurt from those words, that look, and his stomach churned from guilt. He didn't understand this reaction his body had, and he was too exhausted mentally to process. He hated not knowing what was going on within his own body, it was worse on him than an entire room covered in years of dust.

Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corp. What are you doing to me?

That question stayed with him for the rest of the day. He did what he could to avoid Erwin for the most part. It was hard during breakfast when he and Eren were allowed to have breakfast with everyone else. The stares were unbearable, and oddly enough, he felt better when Eren stuck to his side despite what he said the night before. And with him, came along two others he remembered seeing the previous day.

One was a short boy with blond hair to his ears and baby blue eyes. Despite how obvious he was nervous being near him, the boy tried to hide it. Levi didn't think much of Armin, but he had to give the boy credit for trying to calm the tense air around them.

As for the other, he didn't mean to stare. She was almost familiar to him, but he couldn't for the life of him remember who she reminded him of. Her dark hair and calm demeanor reminded him of himself, but not at the same time. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind while he was more reserved. And to top it off, her eyes told him all he needed to know.

"Why are you staring?" Mikasa inquired, feeling a little unnerved, suddenly regretting sitting across from him.

"Nothing. It's just that you remind me of someone, but I can't remember." He hadn't meant to slip his thoughts out, but he caught sight of Erwin from the corner of his eye.

Passing off that his observation was nothing important, Levi focused on eating. He wasn't feeling hungry, but he knew he needed the nutrition if Erwin really was going to keep his promise. He then noticed someone was sitting next to him. Levi forced himself to remain calm when his eyes met intense blues.

"Hope you don't mind, but all the other tables are full." Erwin brought to his attention that indeed, all the other tables were full.

Not trusting his mind to respond Levi stuffed his mouth with food. He didn't care how bland it was, it was only an excuse not to speak at the moment. Erwin didn't seem to mind as he started on his own plate. Levi then felt all eyes on him, and he was sure the majority of them wanted to stab him for sitting next to their commander.

Never in his lifetime did it take so much effort to finish one plate of food.

He was so relieved when breakfast was over he almost vomited. Levi kept the food inside, ensuring to never show them weaknesses. He kept his mind busy with whatever tasks were given, from helping with dishes, feeding Stella her morning meal, and then getting her ready for a short ride out to the well Eren was to transform inside of.

If he were honest, he was quite curious to see this Titan form himself. He had heard stories, all of them varying. Hange warned him not to expect much, when there was little success in the last attempt. He heard how that one went down, how he couldn't transform until he reached for a spoon. Even then it had only been an arm that transformed, not his entire body.

"Okay, Eren! It's time to show everyone what you can do!" Hange couldn't contain their excitement.

"Umm…why is there a bigger crowd than last time?" Eren noted that all of the fresh recruits were here, alongside the commander and the last group that had been there the last attempt.

"Guess they wanted to see everything for themselves. Anyway! Stay focused, Eren! It's time to lower you in the well!" Hange was grinning from ear to ear.

And just like that the boy was lowered in the well. They all stood back a good distance away, and after a moment of silence Hange set off a flare. All of them waited, and they were met with silence. Cautiously Hange came to the edge of the well and peered down.

"You okay down there?"

"Yeah…I don't understand though. I still can't transform."

"Hange, call off the experiment. I don't think we can get it done today." Erwin made the call to end this.

"What makes him transform? We thought it was pain that was the factor, but I guess it's not." Someone from Hange's division pondered out loud.

"There has to be more than just pain. What was he doing the last few times he transformed?" Levi inquired, he wanted to know more facts before he proposed a theory.

"Well, the first time his life was in danger. He was swallowed, and thought to be dead. Then he transformed and started killing off titans in Trost. The second time, although it wasn't a full body Titan, was when a faction of the Wall Garrison tried to execute Eren and his two friends, Armin and Mikasa. Following that he was to transform, carry a large boulder to plug in the hole created from the Colossal Titan." Hange recounted the reports they had memorized.

"Do you have any insight about this, Levi?" Erwin could see there was an idea forming in the assassin's head.

"What's the varying factor in all of those situations? I don't think his life being in danger is the answer. Even though that played in two of those transformations." Levi also didn't feel like attacking the brat as much as he would like to. Too many people here would overreact.

"You know? I think it just hit me. He had a motive in each single situation. From saving his life, protection his friends, plugging the hole to reaching for the spoon. Despite the immense heat his Titan arm gave off, it didn't harm the spoon at all." Hange pulled out the object in question.

"It survived unscathed."

"So…I just have to give myself a reason to transform? That's the answer?" Eren seemed relieved and elated that he hadn't lost his ability.

"We have to test it out later. Maybe we can give you different situations to give you a motive to transform, like getting out of a sticky situation that will only resort to turning into a Titan." Hange began brainstorming.

"We can brainstorm later. Attention all of you. If you would like to practice your skills with the gear, follow me. If you wish not to come, follow Mike here and start your assigned chores." Erwin smiled cheekily when no one budged, eager to get out and about in their gear for the first time since Trost.

Or perhaps they want to see me in action. Wouldn't surprise me if they did. Levi thought bitterly. He wasn't looking forward to perform in front of so many people. It was as if Erwin was making it harder for him to make his escape.

Is that the best you can do? I can get away from these greenhorns with ease. Just what are you planning?

Levi found himself staring at the man. When their eyes met, those strange feelings from earlier came back. Quickly he looked away, locking the unknown raw emotions that wanted to come out. Once again he kept his mind busy by focusing on the task at hand, and before he knew it they were at the edge of a forest.

Everyone had their gears, and some immediately took to the air. Others rode in at full speed, preceding to launch from their galloping horses. When most of them had gone, Levi got off the dark mare and stared up at the trees.

He looked up at Erwin, and a different kind of emotion came through. Shaking off the overwhelming need to apologize, Levi took a deep breath and launched. He heard Erwin activate his own and followed after. Unsure what the man was planning, he didn't start off with any tricks or flips.

It didn't take long for Eren and his two shadows to find them. And with their careless elated energy spreading through the air around them, Levi started showing off. He did different kinds of flips and tricks out of play, and strangely, he found that he was enjoying himself. He felt as if he was dancing in the air, and he imagined wings sprouting from his shoulders as he flew above them.

I am flying. The silver lining of my job had always been the taste of freedom while in the air.

He wasn't aware of many pairs of eyes watching him with newfound admiration. For once he felt immune to the stares. As he continued his dance, he caught glimpses of smiles from Eren and Hange. That he expected, but what made his heart stop was when he caught sight of Erwin's expression.

The man was smiling as he watched the assassin enjoyed himself, and yet his eyes said otherwise. There was a mix of joy and sadness in those eyes that held the sky in them.

I know his plan now. He's showing me that this is the freedom I tasted when I was in the air as an assassin. He's showing me that it can be more than a taste, but a way of life. And damn it all, I think he snared me in his web of pretty words and ridiculous ideals. I was never the spider, but the fly here. He caught me.

He caught me.

Levi had been so caught up in the realization that he hadn't realized he was going too low until something caught his eye. He gasped, heart stopping, when a glint of a gun he knew all too well was the only warning he needed.

"Everyone, run!" Levi shouted at the top of his lungs. When some of them stopped to stare in confusion he went higher in the air.

"RUN BEFORE HE KILLS YOU, YOU SHITS!"

Shots rang in the air. That was all they needed before speeding off, darting this way and that to dodge. Levi didn't have time to see if anyone got hit, he was too focused on leading his uncle away from everyone else. He found a clearing and landed on the ground, heart pounding as he turned to face the man he feared to face.

"How noble of you, dear nephew." Kenny smirked as he landed, twirling his guns. He put one of them away while he kept the other out, reloading it. Levi immediately noticed the off color of the bullet.

"You took your sweet time to show up, uncle. I was beginning to think you would never come here." Levi held a brave face, wishing his gear had the blades.

He is stronger than me, and possibly still faster. He knows every trick in the book. His mind raced on how to fight his mentor.

"You looked like you were enjoying yourself back there. So, tell me. Do I have to take you back by force, or are you going to be a good boy and volunteer?" Kenny cocked the gun, staring hard at his pupil.

"First, tell me if you came alone or not."

"You have no power here, I'm not telling you shit." Kenny spat, near growling at the sight of a few Survey Corp recruits land behind Levi.

"Stay out of this!" Levi snapped, not looking behind him when he heard three pairs of feet land.

"But Levi-!"

"I said stay out of this! Now do as I say and stay behind me! You have no idea what this man is capable of."

He came alone. If he had brought his gang with him, these idiots wouldn't have come. And I can't hear any signs of fighting nearby. Those people are noisy when they're taking down targets.

He wasn't sure to feel relieved or worried that Kenny came on his own. The man tilted his head curiously at one of the people behind him. Instinctively Levi raised his arms out in means to protect them as Kenny stepped closer.

"Come no further, uncle! I wish not to fight you." Levi snarled in warning. Behind him he heard gasps of surprise.

"That man is your uncle?" Armin spoke first.

Shit, I shouldn't have let that slip!

"He is my uncle and my mentor, now shut your pie holes and let me do the talking!"

"Now, now, let's not get over excited here. I only came here to take back what is mine."

"I was never yours to use like a tool, uncle! Now leave."

At that Kenny laughed so hard his body shook from the force, head up in the air. Levi resisted the urge to lunge at the elder man. He knew exactly where his uncle hid his knives, he could simply lunge and reach for whatever which one he could get. However he had no means of disabling the guns, and Kenny was far better than him when if came to close combat.

"I knew you were noble. You've been hiding your true feelings for years, haven't you? Then suddenly you get captured by some idiots that believe in wiping out titans to be the answer for fixing this broken world, and you get a backbone! You honestly believe you can order me to leave you little shit?"

Kenny aimed, but didn't pull the trigger. Once again his eyes turned to one of the three people behind Levi.

"You look like an Ackerman. You remind me of this little shit's mother, who couldn't survive the Underground City. She killed herself, or starved to death, I can't remember the full details. Point is, she was weak and pathetic."

Something in Levi snapped.

In a flash he lunged at his uncle. Taken by surprise, Kenny dodged the fist that was aimed for his face. As the man was distracted Levi reached for one of the hidden knives and pulled it out. In an instant the two were caught up in their fight as other members of the Survey Corp surrounded them, keeping a safe distance. While Kenny had experience, Levi had the full blown emotional determination.

Kenny realized he would have to play a dirty trick, for he could barely keep up with his nephew's speed. He sweep kicked at the short legs. Levi attempted to dodge, but the foot caught his ankle. By the time he was up Kenny had already aimed his gun. Eyes trailed the line of aim and felt his insides freeze.

"I'm here to take my nephew back. But that's not all I'm here for. I'm here to finish the job he couldn't do."

In a split second two things happened at once. Kenny pulled the trigger, aiming for the commander. However, Levi had used his gear to launch in the air in between the bullet and Erwin. He felt it enter his shoulder, and though it wasn't a kill shot he immediately felt very sleepy and fell.

He felt arms catch his fall, his world dizzy and dark. He heard a voice speak before he slipped into unconsciousness.

"You little shit, you're my enemy now."

=3=

Death: I myself have no words to speak of for this.

Quick question: would you guys like to see Levi paired with someone in this story? Or keep it as it is? I am heavily leaning towards pairing, but I'm not sure if it can be well executed for this story. But I was thinking maybe I can do side stories of the pairing that can't quite fit in here.

Please leave a review and answer my question.