Death: Warning, this chappie is going to be dark. So if you have a weak stomach turn away now.
Chapter Five Demons of His Past
=3=
The adjustment of becoming part of the Survey Corp wasn't too hard. Apparently taking a bullet for the commander earned him a lot of respect. However, it did take some time for everyone to get used to his quirks.
Because of Levi the entire castle was cleaned top to bottom. In a matter of days the castle transformed from run down and abandoned to decent. He had anyone who talked shit or had nothing else to do to clean while he himself walked around with a mop and a bucket. Even Erwin was forced to take care of his office, which had gotten messier than the last time the former assassin had seen it.
They also quickly learned not to challenge him when he barked orders to make themselves useful. Jean had the unfortunate mistake of talking back to Levi once. All that earned him was a broom sweeping his legs out from under him, then said broom thrown at his face. Which Levi then proceeded to give Jean a nickname of his own.
"Oi. Horse Face. Are you just going to stand there, or actually do the dishes? And do it right this time. You left disgusting stains on the plates on your last shift."
"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't have a horse face!?"
"Would you rather scrub the floors on your hands and knees like a horse?" Was the dark and cold reply.
"N-no sir, I'm good with the dishes." Jean began to scrub harder.
"That's what I thought, Horse Face."
When the short man left Jean started growling under his breath. He couldn't get this one stain off and it was starting to piss him off. He had imagined Levi was the stain, and just to spite him the stubborn Levi-Stain wouldn't leave the plate as it laughed maniacally at him. When a minute went by Jean threw his hands up with a yell.
"Fuck this shit! It's a permanent stain! Fuck Levi and his cleanliness!"
"Are you okay, Jean?" Eren peeked into the kitchen, broom in hand.
"Keep that broom away from me!"
He heard laughter, and they turned to see Petra and Krista had just finished their own chores. Shortly behind them was Ylmir, and the three girls put on aprons and gloves as they started to help with the dishes and wiping the counters.
"What's so funny, huh? Bet short stuff isn't as hard on you guys as he is on us. I swear he has it out for me!"
"Actually, he yelled at Ylmir for sleeping in this morning. And then proceeded to tell Sasha to stop sneaking food to her room. She left a crumb trail from her snacks." Petra countered with a laugh.
"Seriously? He's like that with everyone?"
"He's even worse when he notices anyone slacking in taking care of their horses. I have never seen Armin run so fast when Levi threw a horse shoe at his head." Krista added, a smile tugging at her face. "I think it's rather endearing, don't you think?"
"Whatever. I hate his ass in thinking he can bark orders at us when it's barely been a few weeks since he's been officially part of us!" Ylmir grumbled, almost breaking the same plate Jean had been cleaning from pure pressure in her hands.
"Well, he might have an attitude, but I agree with Krysta." Petra stated, pausing in scrubbing a pot.
"What's with you ladies? Don't tell me you all got a crush on the asshole." Jean crossed his arms. When he saw the blush creep up on Petra's cheeks, he threw his hands up in the air again. "Knew it! How did I fucking guess?"
"It's a harmless crush!" Petra huffed. "Besides, nothing will become of it. And, for the record, I agree with Krysta because despite all the extra chores, he's actually doing some good making us clean."
"What makes you say that?" Eren tilted his head curiously.
"Well, before he came around, all we've done is sit around bored. Now we have motivation to clean and put more effort in our cooking. Haven't any of you felt the same way as I do? That we go to bed at night feeling accomplished for the day's work?"
Silence was her confirmation that indeed, they all felt the same. Smiling that she wasn't alone in that aspect, Petra continued with cleaning out the pot. Wordlessly the others went back to their own cleaning.
"So…what makes you think nothing will happen between you and Levi?" Eren was the first to break the silence.
"You idiot! Don't ask girls personal questions! You're lucky they haven't thrown shit at you for it." Jean whispered not too quietly.
"Ahem. Thank you Jean, I'll remember next time to throw the soapy sponge at your face."
"Please don't I'm sorry Petra! I've had enough soap being thrown at my mouth! Levi threw five in the last three days!"
"Serves you right." Ylmir said under her breath.
"Anyway, to answer your question, just call it a woman's intuition. I have this feeling he's not looking for a relationship right now. And it's hard to tell with him which way he swings."
"What do you mean? You can't get a reading?" Jean scratched his hairline, confused.
He was met with utter silence. When he was about to ask what was wrong, he had this cold chill down his spine. He knew this feeling. Jean had figured out only one person can give him this cold shiver.
The little shit is right behind me, isn't he?
"Oi. If all of you are ready to gossip about other people's love life, then why don't you all put the same effort into your chores!"
"Yes, sir!" Everyone in the kitchen scrambled.
"And you, Horse Face! Don't abandon your post with your duty to the dishes ever again! If I catch you slacking off one more time, it's the toilets for you!"
"I won't slack off again, sir!"
"I'll be keeping your word for it, Horse Face. Be lucky I'm out of soap to clean your mouth with."
Thank God for small favors. He's like a Shardis junior or something. Or more like a mini Shardis.
Jean felt so lucky Levi wasn't within earshot of his snort. When the girls looked at him like he was crazy he couldn't contain his laughter anymore. His laughing fit didn't last long when a still very wet hand cloth hit the back of his head. That earned him soft chuckles, for the others feared to get the same treatment if Levi heard them.
"Seriously, what's up with him today? It's like he's on his period or something. This is the worst I've seen him." Jean could see worry seep in with the others at his inquiry. He wasn't alone to notice that, either.
"Whatever it is that's been bothering him, I hope he talks about it to someone soon. It's hard to keep everything bottled up." Krysta frowned, and at her words Ylmir sent her a knowing look behind her back.
Silence filled the air once again. This time it felt uncomfortable and gloomy.
"So uh, anyone want to make bets on who gets laid with Levi?" Jean threw out the first idea that popped in his head.
=3=
"You wanted to see me?" Levi didn't bother waiting for an answer when he knocked on the door of Erwin's office.
"Just to brief you over your first mission. But before I get into that, I have been receiving a lot of concerns about your behavior today. Now, I don't like to pry, but even I noticed you've been an oddball all day. Care to explain?" Erwin looked up from his paperwork, setting them aside.
He means business. Shit. I hate being cornered.
"It's nothing that will effect my performance." Levi tried hard not to bite his lip when the commander gave him a stern look.
"Someday I'm going to crack you open. But for now, if you believe it won't harm your abilities to carry out a mission, I'm going put my trust on your word."
Levi nearly flinched at those words. Guilt rose in his chest, and he debated whether or not to voice the demons whispering in his head. It was the anniversary of a death he could never forget. Then he remembered the night they first met. He could never repay that same amount of trust in his eyes, Erwin was the first to give him any form of respect since he lost his pupils.
"Shit. Fuck. Shit, Erwin, you know how to play the guilt trip. Know what, I'll tell you. About four, maybe five years ago I had pupils. I had two of them under my wing. And there was a freak accident, one of them died in my arms." Levi strained not to allow his voice to crack.
Shit. Don't cry, don't cry. I'm no good to cry in front of him. He needs me out in the field.
"I have nothing to say to that. Other than my condolences." Erwin leaned back in his chair, taken aback from the sudden change of heart.
"I've been coping. I'll be fine. You said you were going to brief me on the mission?"
Erwin set aside the paperwork he had been working on. The commander didn't want any distractions, as for this sensitive mission was not written on any form of paper. This was something he had to brief over word of mouth.
"There's been rumors going around that concern me. The government officials have bought my story explaining your sudden appearance. I have all your records forged that you've been with us for five years and you've just recently showed us a large amount of progress. However, because of your appearance, they've decided to do a more thorough background check on everyone within the three fractions."
Levi narrowed his eyes at the thought. "They're not going to find out about me, right? As far as I know, Kenny never put me on paper. For some reason he was terrified of the king and other close officials finding out about my name. He even checked for birth records after he took me in."
"Was there a reason for this? And are you sure that's your uncle?"
"I'm not the bastard child to the king." Levi deadpanned. "I know this because my mother was no one important, she whored for a living. Never knew who my father was, she probably couldn't figure out who helped create me so I was given her last name. That's how I know Kenny truly is my uncle."
"So you're full name is Levi Ackerman?" Erwin seemed unnerved by this.
"What's going on in your head?"
"I attempted to look up that family history. All I could find was Mikasa and her parents, a death record from twenty years ago, and a missing case of who was most likely your mother. Other than that, I found bits and pieces of family tree, all in different areas and died of mysterious circumstances. And with each other generation, any with the Ackerman name were moving farther and farther away from the inner city. I find it odd and puzzling."
"Kenny did mention we were outcasts. He knew of one other set of family we had, but they lived in the middle of nowhere in the mountains. He didn't specify where, and he wasn't sure if they survived the attack eight years ago. He didn't bother to check." Levi seemed uncomfortable as his mind thought of Mikasa.
"Well, this just gives you another part of the mission. First, look through the records of the recruits that just graduated. See if there's backgrounds that don't make sense or suspicious. And the second part, see if you can dig deeper with the Ackerman family. Even if you can't get very far in that search, it's fine, we can always search later." Erwin studied the former assassin with interest.
"You're wondering about the chances of Mikasa being related to you."
"Yes. I don't know if it will actually change anything if we are related. She was taken in by Eren's family, and I was taken in by my uncle. And we didn't even know each other's existence. But, I'm starting think we are related." Levi was staring off at nothing, lost in his thoughts.
"What makes you say that?"
"Kenny did reveal something about our family that sets us apart from everyone else. When some life changing event happens in our lives, it awakens a power within us. We become stronger, faster, and when our lives are in danger we block everything out to focus on eliminating the threat. We don't even realize we have serious wounds until afterwards. I have been watching her work the gear the past few days, I'm starting to see it show through in her."
"Did it happen with you yet?" Erwin was curious now. "Because you didn't kill me that night."
"…My instincts are never wrong. Even if I was in a panic, I sensed you guys wouldn't kill me. And yes, there was a life changing event in my past. So, when am I running out on this mission?"
"Tonight. Be sure to leave when it's dark. There's no moon tonight, so it will be harder for you to be seen."
=3=
Levi was silent as he snuck out the castle. He was dressed in his outfit he wore the night he was caught, but with a few differences. His black pants were tucked inside the standard issue military boots. These were easier to decrease drag, as these pants weren't as skin tight as his Survey Corp uniform pair. He left behind the jacket, switched his usual white shirt with a black one with the dark brown vest over it.
He had debated whether or not to leave his trademark white ascot, but since there was no moon tonight he wore it anyway. And last but not least, Levi had the dark cloak that he had for his assassination career. It was a plain black cloak with no insignia, as he didn't want the symbol that Kenny's group liked to plaster all over. In his mind he found it ridiculous how everything had to be labeled, even a group of assassins.
With care he saddled and readied his horse, making sure not to wake the other horses. When Stella was ready Levi lead her out of the stall. A few heads peeked out of the stalls, but didn't raise a ruckus. However, one horse did call out after them at the sight of the mare leaving.
"Hush, Clyde, go back to sleep." Levi whispered, not even bothering to stop. His grip on the reins tightened when he heard footsteps heading his way.
He stepped a little faster, being careful the pace wasn't going to be too loud. He had a horse next to him, and she was starting to get nervous. When they made it to the tree line Levi hid them behind a few trees.
"Who's there?"
Shit, it's Mike.
The man found the fresh tracks, he was carrying a lantern. He thought he caught the scent of someone, but it was diminished by the smell of horse and saddle. As he neared the trees, he caught sight of a dark hooded figure jump on a horse and took off. For a split second he saw the face.
Levi?
Mike wasn't sure, but there was no mistaking the height and the horse. He debated whether or not to sound the alarm, but decided against it. Erwin had explained to them that he needed to capture an assassin for their skills on special missions. Maybe this was one of them. With that in mind Mike returned to his night shift.
In the distance Levi let out a relieved sigh when he didn't hear the alarm being sounded. With some difficulty from not being able to see much in the darkness, he guided Stella towards a gate that was hardly used, and so it was guarded less often.
He found the gate open and not guarded. It sure if it was a good sign or not, he went on through anyways. He slowed his mount down to a trot, as they had covered a long distance to reach Wall Sina. Now entering the cramped inner city, he had to be cautious. He found a safe place for Stella and dismounted, tethering her to a post.
After a second to gather his bearings, Levi launched into the air. He knew his way around, and so it was easy to locate the building that stored the records. He was silent when he opened a window and slipped in. Weird enough the window wasn't locked, it was also by some luck he found the right room.
Quietly as he could, he began searching for the records of the recently graduated recruits. He found them with little trouble and began to speed read. If there were any that was too normal he skipped on to the next file. He also ignored the ones that were deceased, even if there was the chance of the bastard child dying in the Trost attack, but his gut told him they didn't.
After thirty minutes in a cramped room full of papers, he found four suspicious files. Heart racing, he committed each file into memory. Afterwards he realized he had gone through all the files of the recruits. With careful accuracy he put them back in the same order he found them. Looking outside he saw he had time to find the room where they kept records of family history. He could hear the guards moving about in the building.
Being careful he slipped back out the window he had come in through. Keeping his hands and feet secure on ledges, he started moving. When he saw thick piles of books with family names on the covers he carefully slipped inside. Once again the window hadn't been locked. He saw they were alphabetized and began to search the big pile of A's.
He had neared the middle when he came across the book with ACKERMAN across it.
Why is it so small? All of the others are thick, and at least have two to three books assigned to their name.
He double checked to make sure. And he was right to find that there was only one book for the Ackerman clan. Looking over the condition he realized that it might be old, but it wasn't as old as some of the others, the first books ever to be filled in.
Did we come from outside?
He sat there, holding the book. Checking outside he saw that he had to start heading back. He had no time to read it. Taking the risk, he decided then and there to take it with him. Before he left he put the books back in order as he found them. It was probably fortunate the book he was taking was smaller in thickness than the rest, it would give him time for the officials to notice that anything was taken.
Levi slipped out the window and closed it behind him. He launched into the air and started roof hopping. For the most part he only used his gear when he needed to, as he had to use one arm to hold the book. When he neared the location where he left his horse, he lowered himself to the ground. She bickered at him, happy to see him again.
"Shh, girl. I know, I know, I left you in an unfamiliar place for hours. I'm sorry, I owe you an extra carrot when we get back." He whispered, slipping the book inside the saddle pack.
His horse snorted, tail lashing furiously.
"Okay, how about six carrots? Will that make you feel better?" He offered as he untied her. She responded by gently messing with his hair.
"Oi. That tickles." He swatted her nose away before pulling himself back on the saddle.
Even though it was nearing dawn, he had his mare in a comfortable walk. The gate he had used before wasn't far. And he didn't want to gain the attention from early risers. However the moment he went through the gate he heard the sound of gear on rooftops behind him. Without looking back he urged his mount to a full gallop.
Because of the long distance between wall and nearest tree he figured the person behind him would stop the chase. However he heard them still using the gear, using the wall to launch down into the trees.
Shit, I have no choice but to engage. Horses can't outrun the gear.
He aimed for the nearest tree and pulled himself up. Levi went further into the forest, drawing away from the road. He heard his stalker behind him, despite his tricks of losing people on his tail. As light flooded the trees he turned to engage and his heart stopped.
Farlan?
The figure aimed a blade at him. Levi barely had the time to dodge, the hood fell off his head. Blue eyes widened at the sight of his face. His former pupil retracted the blade, and the both of them landed on the ground.
"Levi? Is that really you?"
"Farlan, what are you doing?"
"Well…Kenny wanted me to keep an eye on the records office. He said if anyone went inside I was to follow them when they left and kill them."
A chill spread through his bloodstream. Levi stood there, frozen, as Farlan ran a hand through his blond locks.
"But now I don't know what to do now that I know it's you. What are you doing? Why are you turning against us? Kenny didn't tell any of us why you weren't with him from his rescue mission."
"I'm not turning against any of you. All I wanted was to get out of that life. I found a chance and took it. But they need my help to look into something."
"Don't you know you're being used? Come back home with me, Levi. It's not too late."
"I can't do that, Farlan! I lost my humanity because of that life, because of what happened five years ago when I lost both of you." Levi shook from the memories flooding back.
"Still haven't let that one go? I get it, it was traumatizing, but at some point you have to hurry Isabel, Levi. And I want my old partner back. I miss you. I haven't taken anyone else into my bed because I was waiting for you." Farlan glared at him. "And now I see where your loyalties lie. What, do you get to suck the commander's cock or something?"
"Its not like that, Farlan! If you want me, then come join me! I didn't take anyone else in either. So please, come with me. I know you hate killing, why not walk away from it?"
Back at the castle, everyone was mostly awake by now. They had started work on their daily routine, when Mike sounded the alarm. On alert everyone gathered their gear and ran outside. Even the commander was quick to arrive to see Mike having trouble calming Stella down.
"Levi went out last night. I didn't want to trouble anyone, so I didn't sound the alarm then. Now I wish I did. His horse returned without him. Poor thing is spooked." Mike explained as the mare shied away from him, but he had a tight grip on her bridle.
"What do you want to do, commander?"
"I assigned him on a special mission. But something must have happened. I'll be taking a small group to span the area around us. Mike, Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Auruo, ready your horses. We leave in two minutes. Hange, I'm leaving you in charge while we're gone."
In the forest Farlan had thought over the offer. He made up his mind with a sigh. Levi felt his heart race, waiting for an answer.
"As tempting as that sounds, Levi, I can't, not in this lifetime. I can't stand the idea of being a lapdog to the Survey Corp and be hunted down like one. And I can't let you go, otherwise Kenny will kill me. So, the pupil against the broken mentor, who will rise victorious?"
At the sound of that Levi fled high into the trees. He heard Farlan give chase. The blond laughed that echoed through the forest around them. The muffed sound had reached the ears of the scout group lead by Erwin, and all of them urged their mounts faster.
"I won't give up until you kill me, Levi! Isn't it fitting? Because of you, Isabel died five years ago today! And whoever has the stronger will to live shall join her in death!" Farlan cut one of his former mentor's lines. He laughed as Levi fell, the shorter man managed to land without injury.
Levi grasped a knife he had hidden, it was the knife he took from Kenny. He didn't pull it out, but held his hand against his side, pretending to be injured from the fall. When Farlan was close to him, he raised a blade about to strike down.
They heard horses closing in, and shouting. Farlan had to end it quicker than he wanted. He was about to swing down when the short man stood up and jumped into him, arms wrapped around him. Or what Farlan thought both arms were around him. Then he felt the sharp pain in his chest and blood stained his mentor's face.
Gasping for breath Farlan had no strength left in his legs. Levi went down with him, both arms holding his pupil close this time. He dared not look up into that handsome face as Farlan took his last few breaths.
"I'm sorry it...came to this, Levi. I wish…I wish I could be part of your dream…but not this time…"
The small team had found them, and they all dismounted. Seeing what was going on they didn't dare step any closer. The two didn't even notice their arrival. Levi felt his heart break, guilt drowning him, suffocating. He couldn't respond to what Farlan said.
"Take care of him…for me…" Farlan made eye contact with Erwin, who somberly nodded. "Although he may not seem like it…he's fragile."
With much difficulty Farlan raised a hand to dark hair. The shorter male was shaking, holding back tears and the whimpers.
"Levi…thank you…"
And Farlan closed he eyes. Never to open them ever again. Feeling the last breath, hearing the last weak heartbeat, Levi whimpered. He couldn't afford to cry in front of them, least of all Erwin, but he couldn't hold them back. His tiny shoulders shook as he cried silently, his face still buried in his now dead pupil's chest.
He gasped, when after a few minutes of crying, a large hand gently touched one of his shoulders. He didn't look up, his arms tightened around the dead body. He didn't hear when someone knelt down beside him before the hand was comforting him. He almost flinched when that hand started to rub circles on his back.
"If you would like, we can give him the same service we do for our own. We can set up a funeral pyre for tonight. Or would you rather bury him?" Erwin was gentle when he spoke.
For the first time Levi slowly looked up to meet blues. And upon making eye contact, the demons in his head were silenced.
"Erwin…promise me something. Please end me if I become my demons. If I lose myself, I want you to take care of me. Promise me." Steel blue greys weren't tearing up, all that was left of the years were the streaks drying on his cheeks that were blood stained.
"I promise." Erwin said after a moment's hesitation.
Together the group buried Farlan in a field of flowers with the perfect view. Over the grave Levi planted a sapling, so that as it grew Farlan could reach the sky. And maybe birds will nest there, his favorite animal. And after one last look, they made their way back to headquarters in somber silence.
=3=
Death: Oh yeah great timing, Annie Arc about to come up next chapter. Yes I did that on purpose. Pull your heartstrings just before the destruction of Annie hit.
So please leave me a review.