Stefan's eyes blinked open feeling himself weaken by the second. As his eyes adjusted and landed on his brother, his anger grew and if he could, he would have his heart in his hand, but he was chained down to a chair.

"Easy, brother."

"Where is she?" He growled.

"She's dead."

Everything that made him up fell apart. "How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't do it, Stefan. Bonnie died close to a year ago in an accident. She was doing some modeling on a motorcycle and she fell, hit her head against the street. You were working and by the time you got there, it was too late."

"You're lying."

"I'm not, Stefan. I knew I never should have let you do this,"

"Do what?"

He let out a breath. "I tried, Stefan. I've never seen you like that before. We've been through hell, but never like that. I've caught you trying to kill yourself multiple times, killing others, harming anything in sight. So I found someone. A witch, I- I asked her to help you. I thought that if you could just see her one more time that everything would go away."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were dreaming. All of it was truth, what you saw did happen, but that was in the past. She told me that the longer you slept, the more difficult it would be to snap you back to reality, but when I would go to wake you, you would always have this smile on your face and I just couldn't. I know I'm a shitty brother, but I couldn't tear that away from you. It's been three months, so I tied you up because I knew that you would react badly."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"I want to see her. Visit the grave, I need to-"

"She was cremated. Her ashes sprinkled in the sea."

"That wasn't the plan, we wanted to be buried together."

"She changed her mind. She never wanted you to end your life so she made herself non-existent. She wanted you to move on quickly."

His heart picked up. "I don't believe you! She wanted to be a vampire, I was going to turn her do we could live together forever, she-"

"You told me that you couldn't do it. You wanted to, but you couldn't because you didn't want her to have such a curse. She was mad at you, but she got over it."

"I don't believe you!"

"Stefan," he dropped his thought then walked out of the room then shortly returned with a newspaper. He let the chains loose from his brother's wrist then handed it to him. "Read it yourself."

Stefan looked up reading his brother's eyes then the paper. His hands shook finding her picture among the others in the obituary and tears fell from his eyes like a storm. He clinched the paper in his hands staring at her beautiful face in the black and white picture and Damon cursed as he quickly slipped off his ring and stood in front of the window. He tackled him into the bed holding him down struggling to put the ring back on.

"Stefan. This isn't what she would've wanted."

"Fuck you, you have no idea what she wants!" He tries to fight but no matter how angry he is, he's weak.

Damon loosens his hold as his brother breaks down again and for the second time in his life, he holds him feeling tears swell in his eyes, but he holds them back. "I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't know how you feel, but you need to try and live. That's what she wanted, Stefan, I wouldn't lie to you. Not about this."

"How come I don't remember?"

He thought. "I don't know, the spell, maybe."

"I need. To see her."

Damon sighed then nodded.

;;;;

Stefan sat on the edge of the dock looking into the sea in which she was sprinkled in. It was as blue as the sea would get around here and he could only blame Bonnie for that.

He couldn't believe that she was gone. Those dreams felt all too real for it to be a simple dream.

"How come I'm not dead?"

"Like I said, you've tried, but I-"

"But still. I should be dead. You said a year, right? Close to it. My being can't survive without her, I should be dead."

He sighed. "Stefan, that's just something you say. You're a vampire, you can't die over a broken heart. Not figuratively anyway."

His eyes closed causing him to still when Bonnie filled the blackness. She was crying lying on the bed, the saddest he's seen her in awhile. His heart broke watching her and thought that maybe this was her now, but then he appeared himself wrapping his arms around her only for her to push him off.

"I hate you."

"I never thought-"

"That I'd never catch you cheating on me again, well yeah, me either."

"It wasn't my intention to sleep with her, I just-"

"That's what you said the last two times! Do you even love me at all?"

"Of course I do."

"You're lying. You don't love me, so we're done. I never want to see you again."

"Wait, Bonnie, I- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I will never make that mistake again, I need you, I needed you but you weren't here so I just- I went out and. I'm so sorry. It will never happen again, I promise. I fucking swear." He kissed her. "I swear. Don't leave me, please."

His eyes opened with a sigh remembering how horrible of a person he was to her. She didn't deserve any of it. She should've left him that day and never looked back, but he was selfish. He needed her but treated her like shit on a sidewalk and none of it was fair.

Her death is his fault. If he never forced her to stay, she wouldn't have to be modeling and she would've been living her life in a different way. Probably back in New York still in that bookstore, but it was safe. She would've been safe, but he forced them to leave.

It's all his fault. All of it.

Damon sighed watching him sit still at the rounded table. He's been in that spot for three hours just stirring there staring into space. He's tried to talk to him but got nothing in return. He was starting to think that this was worse than the killings. He's shutting down. Maybe he can die from a broken heart.

The only thing he knew was Bonnie. That was all that was in his head, nothing else. No one else but the love of his life.

How could he not remember her death? Spell or not, that's something that he should remember. He needs to remember getting the call and rushing to the hospital. Or maybe Lynn drove to his work and told him and together they drove to the hospital. He needed to remember the doctor telling him that they did everything they could to save her life. He needed to know if he choked the guy out and needed others to pull him off or if he just accepted it. He needed to remember seeing her body laying there in the hospital. Her still body, he needed to remember no longer hearing her heartbeat so that he knows what he's been told is the Truth. He needed to remember but he doesn't.

;;;;

Stefan? Stef?

His body tightened as his head swung back and forth.

Are you in here? It's me, it's-it's Bonnie.

Sweat started to stain his clothes going through the sheets.

I figured it out. I figured out what I'm supposed to do with my feelings. With all of them. Just like you said.

His body shook hearing her voice but her face was non-existent.

Are you in here? They said- they said that- Hello?

He turned on his side gripping the sheets in his hand slowly tearing them apart.

Stef? …Please don't. Ahhh!

He shot up from the bed breathing deeply looking around the darkened room. His eyes moved down to his hands which were shaking rapidly but moved them up to his forehead wiping away the sweat.

He got out of bed dragging his feet heading for the kitchen. It's been a week since he's been without her and the first time he's been able to sleep, he had a dream like this. Only he wonders if it's really a dream.

Maybe she's still out there and this whole thing is one big awful joke that Damon's playing on him for leaving without telling him and this is his revenge. Maybe this is all just. One big game.

;;;;

Damon looked up catching Stefan staring at him for the tenth time today. He didn't bother looking away forcing himself to stare right back at him because he found it all so weird but the staring didn't last long as he turned away. He wondered what was going through his mind, what was causing him to look at him in this way. He looked up again meeting his eyes then let out a breath.

"You should know that I'm not into incest." He paused before continuing when Stefan remained quiet. "You know what they say about a picture. It lasts longer."

"Stop jerking yourself off." He said standing then walked away.

Stefan closed the door behind him locking himself in his room pulling out a binder from under his bed then sat on top of the mattress. He let out a breath opening it stopping to smile and touch the picture he has of his love then looked on the page beside it letting out another breath before reading over what he had written.

It was a behavioral book dedicated to Damon. He needed to know of he was guilty. Guilty about lying to him about Bonnie and the only way he can truly know that is through his actions.

He figured if he stared at him like he knew something that Damon would slowly crack and so far he couldn't figure out what was going on. At first, he would act guilty; messing with his hair, clearing his throat after every sentence he told, avoiding eye contact. Now, he's acting more neutral but the talking back is giving him more guilty vibes than anything.

He look up and over hearing the doorbell ring and gets up slowly once he hears Damon greet whoever it was.

Damon turned to call for his brother, but before he could get a word out, Stefan was already making is way slowly down the stairs.

"Lynn,"

She tightly smiled. "Hey, Stefan."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, Damon told me that you started having a little trouble again so I thought that I drop by to see how you're doing."

He watched her eyes as she slowly walked up to him. She could always be compelled, he told himself. "I'm fine now,"

"Please, this is. This is kind of for me too."

Tears threatened his eyes. If she was compelled to just come over and see how he was doing, she wouldn't be persistent. Unless Damon compelled her to be. "Um. Yeah, sure, we can just. Go in my room, I guess."

She nods holding a thick book close to her chest and Stefan watches her head up a few stairs before he's behind her.

;;;;

"You know I hated you at first." Lynn said staring down at a picture of the two in the album.

He looked over at her. "Why?"

"I don't know, when I first met you, I just got this vibe. Bonnie told me that she was happy and in love so I just kept it to myself."

"Well to be honest with you, I didn't like myself much either back then. I didn't deserve Bonnie at all."

"We all deserve love and someone who loves us. Everyone has a past, everyone has a little monster inside them, some more than others, but it's there nonetheless. We just need someone who will tame it."

He thought before asking, "Who's your tamer?"

She smiled some. "I've had multiples, I'm not in that lucky category where I have my one yet. I know Bonnie was yours,"

"She was more than that. She was my everything. Still is. My heart will never stop beating her name."

Lynn watched him in thought before reaching her hand out to place it on top of his. He smiled a little before topping her hand with his other.

Stefan growled turning on his stomach.

Her head tilted back giving him the perfect view of her sweaty neck as she came in a silent scream. His eyes raked her body taking in her sparkling skin then shortly filled her up with his seed. She smiles.

"What will you remember about me?" She asks running her hands down the side of his neck to his arms.

"Everything."

"Everything? When I'm dead, you'll remember everything there is about me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"But if you could choose one thing. What will it be?"

He looked her over again pushing his hips into her slightly causing her to let out a moan. "Defiantly the way you feel."

She bit down on her lower lips enjoying his feel. "How would you describe it?" She asks in a breath.

"Warm," he kissed her neck still slowly moving his pelvis. "Tight. Home." Her breathing picked up as his fang ran down her neck. "It's almost indescribable. But it's the best damn feeling in this entire world." Their eyes met then their lips shortly as he picks up pace.

Stefan curses waking up then heads into the bathroom to take care of business. He turns on the shower, closes his eyes and before he could think, there she is hidden behind his lids. Her body perfect in every way, her moans, her nails on his back and kisses on his lips. The feel of her, the taste of her hits him like a train and his head is pressed against the tile as he releases.

He breathes deeply then reaches over shutting off the water.

He looked up seeing his brother walk in then rolled his eyes focusing back on his push ups.

"We should go out tonight."

"I don't think so." Stefan continued to pump his arms.

"You've been cooped up in this house for too long, I think that going out will do you some good. And who knows, maybe you'll find a new-"

Stefan sped pressing his back against the wall with his hands squeezing his neck. A vein was close to popping on his arm and neck as he managed through gritted teeth, "No one will ever replace her. Understand?"

"Yes," he struggled then breathed deeply as his brother let go. Damon found his way to the floor. "I'm just trying to help. No one has to replace her, but you can still have fun."

"I don't want to have fun, I'm fine exactly as I am." He took the towel resting on the loveseat and wiped his face before letting it rest around his neck. "Where are we, Damon?"

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Where are we? Last I remember Bonnie and I were on the beach in Miami."

"We're still here,"

"How did you find us?"

"Well," he let out a breath, "a few days after I visited you guys at your apartment, I went back and you two weren't there. I must admit that it hurt, so I asked Bonnie's boss where you two headed off and she told me here."

He let out a breath. "And then what?"

"You seriously don't remember?" He shook his head. "Then I started talking to Bonnie privately, it took some time for her to actually listen, but I guess when she saw me to be not a monster, she told you and we met up and you gave me another shot. I'm sure it was all for Bonnie's sake, but,"

"Was she happy?"

"From what I could tell, yes. I wasn't around all the time so I can't give you a definite an-"

"Were we engaged?"

"Not yet."

His eyes closed as he breathed out through his nose. He just couldn't understand why they wouldn't be. It was all in his plan, they should've been engaged if not married so he wonders where everything went wrong.

"Who's house is this?"

"It's ours. After the funeral I decided that you really shouldn't be alone so I got us this house."

"I need you to tell me again."

"What?"

"How she died, I need to hear the story again."

He sighed, "Stefan, are you sure that this is the best idea? You seem pretty angry, I don't-"

"Just tell me the fucking story!"

"Bonnie was modeling on a motorcycle, she went to get off it but slipped somehow and fell off hitting her head on the road. She was rushed to the hospital, but in the end there was nothing that they could do. The damage was already done."

"Where was I?"

"You were at work. At the restaurant cooking or whatever you do there and Lynn called you and told you but by the time you got there, it was too late."

"Where were you?"

"I was at a bar when I got a call telling me the end result."

"You're lying to me, Damon."

"Stefan, I know that this is hard to understand, but I'm not. I don't know why you don't remember, if I had to guess it's all the magic, but I don't know. She's gone and I'm sorry, I really am, but she's gone. You saw the paper for yourself, I don't know what else I can do."

"I need to see her."

He let out a breath. "Stefan, she's ash now. She's a part of the ocean-"

"I'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

Stefan ignored him walking past him then out the door.

The liquid rushed through his fingers and soaked his body as he swam. He needed to feel her, feel her power and her soul but he couldn't. He knows it's been almost a year since her death, but he hoped that he would at least feel something.

He swam further then floated on his back. The sun shined down on him causing him to think that if he just slipped off his ring that he'd too be ash in the ocean. The only problem was that he wasn't completely convinced that she was gone. Not yet and he's not sure if he ever will be.

He got lip from the lifeguard about him swimming out too far but compelled him to shut the hell up then walked away.

"Uh, excuse me?" He turned seeing a woman with green eyes and brunette hair. "Uh I know how crazy this might sound, but are you Stefan?"

His eyes narrowed and something within him shifted.

A/N: So tell me your thoughts/theories! Who is this woman? How does she know Stefan?