Bored again. I hath taken the liberty of spacing some of the ridiculous size paragraphs of the original fic, mainly because it's very irritating to see the huge chunks of text and also because they're hard to read.
So…anyone else needing eyeball bleach after watching the trailer for the new TMNT film? Megan Fox (or as I call her, Trout Pout) as April? A white dude as Oroku Saki? WTF kind of drugs were they on when they cast this thing?! And those turtle designs, UGH! Since when do turtles have noses and lips? Since when were the Hamato Brothers built like steamtrains on steroids? Must Bay destroy every aspect of my childhood? I could forgive him for Transformers, because I actually enjoyed the films for the most part, but he needs to stick to his trademark plotless action films and step away from the gooey ninja goodness of TMNT. I know he's only producing the film, but nobody can deny that the trailer REEKS of his trademark "HUR DUR EXPLOSIONS AND BOOBS LEL". *heavy sigh* I guess this is another film I'm avoiding entirely. I've already decided I'm staying well away from Transformers 4 (it has the silliest plot idea ever), I just can't deal with another gut punch to the childhood.
Alright, my rant is over. Suffice to say, I am not a happy bunny.
Enjoy, or whatever. :)
My Immortal – A Very English Commentary
Chapter Three – Poor, poor Draco
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize (Haha, 'odderwize'…) fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! (WAIT, TIMEOUT! People actually gave this fic GOOD reviews?! Does anyone have screenshots of this shit?) FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX– (So, we're back to the original line break then?)
On the night of the concert I put on (Here we go again…) my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. (Tara really has a fishnet fetish doesn't she? Keep her away from the Fisherman's Markets for the love of god!) Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. (Enoby should become a hairdresser.) I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. (Why would you possibly be depressed? You're going on a date with a guy you apparently like, and you're going to see a band you love perform. I don't think Tara understands what depression is.) I
read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. (She's so casual about it. Does she have no pain sensors in her wrists or something?) I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. (So I would look like an emo prostitute who got smacked around by her pimp.) Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. (Uh huh, so why'd you do it in the previous chapters?) I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.
(Did…did you at least put a bandage on your wrist? You know, the one you just SLICED OPEN! Unless you've got mad vampy healing powrz, in which case that would make sense…wait, why am I even questioning this fic!? NONE of it makes sense!)
I went outside. (Tara is so descriptive :3)
Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. (Ah, so THAT'S where Mr Weasley's car went.) He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). (Cool? Could be. Gay? More than likely.)
"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. (You seem pretty happy for someone who's supposed to be depressed.)
"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) (Aw, I thought I'd solved the mystery of the missing Ford Anglia.) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. (2edgy4me.) When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).
(I really don't care; it sounds like a really stupid song anyway.)
"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung (Wait, who's singing again? This Joel guy or Draco?), filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly Draco looked sad. (*sigh* What has Tara done to you, Draco?)
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. (And Draco didn't hear me because we were right at the front of a damn concert!) Then I caught on.
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. (Well done, clever girl.)
"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.
(NO! SENSITIVE!DRACO IS THE WORST KIND! SO OOC, IT ALMOST HURTS! And…wait, weren't they in a mosh pit? Shouldn't they have both been trampled underfoot by now?)
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. (Faces can be blonde? Maybe if you're covered in fur. Is Hilary a Khajiit? Awesome.)
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. (Oh what, did you use your mad vampy pwrz to read his mind and find that out?) After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz (Should Draco really be driving if he's THAT drunk?), but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts (Good god, you spelt the name correctly! Give the girl a prize!), instead he drove the car into… (I don't even want to know how many periods this is…) the Forbidden Forest!
(*insert Markiplier DOING DARN DAN DAAAAAN here*)
Meh, still bored. I'll probably end up updating a few more times today.