Doffy had not been right in the mind since he'd returned from killing Rosinante. The minute he had set foot on the ship, he had burst into laughter. Which, even considering his standards, was utterly bizarre. Trebol and the other ranking officers were, of course, terrified. They respected Doffy, and believed him to be a powerful man, but a sane man would not just kill off his brother like Doffy did. For Doffy to murder his most trusted companion (not to mention blood-relative) so easily, the officers were now wondering how much more easily might Doffy kill them?

So the officers distanced themselves, leaving Doffy to meander around the ship as he pleased. Of course, they had warned the younger officers to do the same, but the children were never ones to listen anyways.

"Young Master?" Sugar squeaked, trailing after Doffy. The man had decided he was hungry, and was stepping into the kitchen.

"Young Master?" Sugar repeated, tugging on Doffy's feathered coat.

"What do you want?" Doffy turned around, smiling at her. His expression was unreadable under dark sunglasses, and Sugar was left to wonder what could possibly be running through his mind.

"Trebol put my grapes on the high shelf in the fridge, " she pouted, "could Young Master maybe help me reach them?"

"No, he cannot," Doffy replied promptly, turning away from her and opening a cabinet. "Such a useless little girl you are," he tutted, "can't even get herself a snack. Do it yourself, or jump off the ship."

Sugar froze.

"Is Young Master being serious?"

"Very," he nodded, "if you can't get those grapes within an hour, I will personally fling you into the Grand Line Sea."

Sugar huffed, and cracked open the fridge. She clambered up the shelves until she reached the highest shelf. She hopped to the ground, grapes in hand, and stuck one on each finger.

"You can't have any," she stuck out her tongue, and pranced out of the kitchen.

"Didn't want any," Doffy muttered, "now where does that dumb cook put all the bread…"

"Young Master," Baby 5 said timidly, peeking out from the doorway. "Can I help you with anything?"

"There's a good child," he mumbled, absent-mindedly patting her on the head, "find me the bread."

Baby 5 nodded excitedly, and began scouring the cupboards.

"Found it!" she exclaimed, handing the loaf to Doffy who grinned.

"That will work nicely," he said, "good job."

Baby 5 beamed as Doffy sliced the bread into equal pieces.

"This is whole wheat," Doffy remarked, "I wanted white."

"Oh!" Baby 5 said, tugging at her curls, "I'm sorry Young Master, you didn't mention-"

"I shouldn't have to," he interupted her delicately, throwing the slices at her. Baby 5 squeaked in alarm, and stepped to the side, allowing the bread to drop to the floor.

"Take that to the cook, tell him it's awful," said Doffy, opening another cabinet. "I don't want to see any other bread but white on this ship ever again."

Baby 5 picked up the slices meekly, and scurried out of the kitchen.

Doffy returned to rifling through the cabinets, finally spotting some white bread tucked behind a bag of flour.

"Young Master," Buffalo said, entering the kitchen, "I'm going to get some ice cream."

"Go ahead," Doflamingo muttered, chomping down on a slice of bread.

"So Young Master likes to eat when he's upset?" Buffalo giggled, "Same with me. Except I also eat when I'm happy. And when I'm sad."

"I'm not eating for myself, I'm spiting him," Doflamingo scowled, chewing on the crust of the bread. Rocinante hated bread. This'll show him.

"There's something here with your name on it," Buffalo giggled.

"Is there?" Doffy grumbled. He wasn't exactly in the mood for games, but Buffalo had yet to notice.

"Here," Buffalo grunted, heaving a white box from the fridge, and setting it on the countertop. Doffy opened the box.

"It's a cake," Doffy said, swiping a finger through the frosting.

"I guess it's for your birthday," said Buffalo, "but I kinda want some."

"Here then," said Doffy, picking up the cake and slamming it into Buffalo's face. The frosting went flying everywhere, and the cake fell to the floor.

"Delicious!" Buffalo chirped, licking his icing-covered lips.

"I'm glad you like it," Doffy grinned.

A.N.: I've been in a very odd mood lately. I guess I channeled it into this one-shot by accident. Reviews, Favourites, Subscriptions, Reader Birthdays, and Requests are welcomed and much appreciated! I'll see you tomorrow for X Drake